Original subtitles

Linda: MAMA.

MAMA!

WHERE IS SHE?

MAMA!

DO YOU HEAR ME CALLING YOU?

YEAH, I HEAR YOU CALLING ME.

THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER?

'CAUSE WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY IS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME

IS RIGHT HERE ON THIS TABLE AND IN THIS PAPER.

WELL, THIS PAPER IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.

WELL, IF THAT PAPER AIN'T GOT NO DEAD PRESIDENTS ON IT,

IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME.

MAMA, YOU KNOW IT'S THAT TIME.

GIRL, I AIN'T SEEN THAT TIME IN ABOUT 30 YEARS NOW!

I SURE TO GOD DON'T MISS IT NEITHER.

IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL PHYSICAL.

OH, YOU CAN FORGET THAT.

WHY DO WE GO THROUGH THIS EVERY YEAR?

GO THROUGH WHAT?

I TELL YOU IT'S TIME FOR YOUR ANNUAL PHYSICAL,

AND YOU SAY, "YOU CAN FORGET THAT."

THEN I HAVE TO DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

YEAH, BUT I'M READY FOR YOU THIS TIME.

WELL, GOOD.

I'M READY FOR YOU TO TRY AND DRAG ME DOWN THERE.

WHAT?

I'M GOING STRAIGHT UP THEM STAIRS

AND RIGHT UPSIDE YOUR CRANIUM IF YOU TOUCH ME!

YOU ARE GOING TO THE DOCTOR.

I AM YOUR MOTHER!

YOU ARE GOING TO THE DOCTOR.

I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN THERE.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM PEOPLE POKING AND PULLING

AND RAISING UP MY DRESS AND SQUEEZING ME.

OOH. THAT TURNED ME ON THERE.

MAMA!

THAT'S JUST SICK.

I'M NOT GOING DOWN THERE.

YES, YOU ARE.

NO, I'M NOT!

I GET SICK OF THEM PEOPLE PULLING AND TUGGING

AND CARRYING ON ON ME.

AND I'VE GOT TO PAY THEM FOR THAT FOOLISHNESS?!

SOMETHING JUST AIN'T RIGHT ABOUT THAT THERE.

BESIDES, I USED TO HAVE PEOPLE TO PAY

TO DO THOSE TYPE THINGS TO ME.

YOU GOING.

BET I DON'T.

BET YOU DO.

BET I DON'T.

BET YOU DO.

BET I DON'T, DON'T. BET ‐‐

BET YOU DO, DO.

I BET YOU I DON'T, DO, AND DON'T AGAIN!

I BET YOU WILL, WILL, AND BETTER COME ON!

OH, SHE THINKS SHE DONE SAID SOMETHING THERE.

SLAP THE TASTE OUT YO MOUTH.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

HI, FLOYD.

[ Monotone ] HI, MISS VIVIAN.

HOW ARE YOU?

WELL, I JUST GOT TERRIBLE NEWS.

OH, NO.

WHAT IS IT?

MY HORSE, OLD GIRL...

MM‐HMM.

...THE ONE THAT WON THE DERBY A FEW YEARS AGO.

OH, YEAH.

WELL, I JUST GOT WORD SHE'S GOT CANCER.

AND THEY'RE ASKING ME TO PUT HER DOWN.

[ Normal voice ] OH, NO! THAT IS SO SAD!

THIS IS GONNA BE SO DIFFICULT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

BUT YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT.

OH.

I SURE HOPE SO.

YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT.

BUT THE HORSE WON'T.

WELL, ANYWAY...

THEY'RE GONNA PUT HER TO SLEEP TOMORROW,

SO I'M GONNA DRIVE UP THERE.

AH.

OLD GIRL WAS A GREAT HORSE.

YEAH, SHE WAS. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WON QUITE A LOT OF MONEY WITH HER.

SHE WAS FAST.

YOUR MAMA FAST.

I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU...

THIS TIME.

I'M NOT GOING!

YES, YOU ARE.

I AM NOT GOING!

MAMA, YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.

LOOK, I DONE TOLD YOU ONE TIME.

NOW, THAT'S THE END OF THIS HERE DISCUSSION.

NO, IT'S NOT. THIS CONVERSATION IS NOT OVER.

LOOK, YOU LIVE IN MY HOUSE, YOU EATS MY FOOD,

AND YOU WORK FOR ME.

YOU MY CHILD,

AND YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST GONNA STAND THERE

AND TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SHE WON'T GO TO THE DOCTOR.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

NO, SERIOUSLY. IS SHE DYING?

NOTHING HAS TO BE WRONG TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.

YES, IT DOES.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OLD PEOPLE?

IT'S CALLED PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE.

WELL, PREVENTATIVE MEDICINE

IS "BROKE‐A‐TIVE" POCKETS.

AND, LOOK, WE DON'T GO TO THE DOCTOR

UNLESS SOMETHING IS MANGLED, TANGLED UP,

TWISTED OFF, OR SHOT OFF.

THAT'S RIGHT, FLOYD.

WE DON'T GO TO THE DOCTOR UNLESS WE'RE SICK.

THIS IS AN ANNUAL PHYSICAL, UNCLE FLOYD.

AND?

WOULD YOU DRIVE YOUR CAR WITHOUT CHECKING THE OIL?

HELL, I DID THAT THIS MORNING.

WOULD YOU RIDE A BIKE WITHOUT CHECKING THE TIRES?

WOULD YOU PAY $10,000 TO RIDE ON THE HANDLEBARS?

NO. BUT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?

I RODE IN AN AMBULANCE, AND I GOT THE INVOICE ‐‐

IT WAS FOR $10,000.

HATTIE, YOU SHOULD GO FOR THAT PHYSICAL.

IF Y'ALL DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE,

IT'S ABOUT TO GET PHYSICAL UP IN HERE!

THAT YOU CAN HELP YOU HEAD OFF ANYTHING THAT'S WRONG.

IT'S A GOOD THING TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR BODY.

IF I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY BODY,

I TAKES AN ENEMA. [ FLOYD GAGS ]

HATTIE! CUSTOMERS.

ENEMA! ENEMA! ENEMA! ENEMA!

ENEMA!

SHE'S JUST SAYING, "ANY M'OTHER ‐‐ [enema]

ANY M'OTHER OF Y'ALL WANT ANYTHING ELSE TO EAT?"

I'M NOT GOING TO THE DOCTOR!

YOU SHOULD GO.

WHY DON'T YOU GO SOMEWHERE?

WELL, IT'S A GOOD THING

THAT I JUST GOT A GREAT BIG INSURANCE CHECK,

AND I'LL BE REOPENING MY DINER SOON.

AND YOU WON'T HAVE ME TO PUSH AROUND ANYMORE.

I DON'T WANT TO PUSH YOU AROUND ANYMORE.

I WANTS TO PUSH YOUR ASS OFF A CLIFF.

UNCLE FLOYD, TALK TO HER.

I DON'T SPEAK GRUMPY.

OH, HATTIE, IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I MET MY, UH...

THIRD HUSBAND AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

YOU SURE IT WASN'T A FREE CLINIC?

UNH‐UNH.

D‐‐ RIGHT NOW ‐‐ IN THE CAR.

YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

I BET YOU DON'T GET HER IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

YOU WANT TO BET?

LINDA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

CALLING THE "I," THE "R," AND THE "S."

LINDA, YOU PUT THAT PHONE DOWN RIGHT NOW!

THEN LET'S GO TO THE DOCTOR ‐‐ NOW!

FINE.

AND GET THAT HIP RESET WHEN YOU GET THERE!

HI, FLOYD.

HI, GORGEOUS. HI, FLOYD.

OH.

"HI, GORGEOUS" WASN'T FOR ME?

NOW, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU.

GO SIT DOWN.

WELL, HOW COME I CAN NEVER GET

ONE OF THOSE AWESOME COMPLIMENTS?

YOU WON'T 'CAUSE YOU WEAR TURTLENECKS.

WHERE'S MY MOM?

OH. SHE TOOK YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO THE DOCTOR.

WHAT? I‐IS SHE OKAY?

YEAH.

SHE'S JUST GETTING HER ANNUAL PHYSICAL.

SHE'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

I'LL SAY.

SHE HAS THE STRENGTH OF AN OX.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

HE SLEPT WITH HER.

WHAT?!

I DID NOT.

SO, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE INTO.

IF IT'S A WOMAN, HE'S INTO IT.

YES, I AM.

WELL, THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME WITH THOSE ‐‐

WILL YOU STOP IT?!

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF MY NEW BOSS.

YOU ALREADY MADE YOURSELF LOOK BAD.

HOW?

YOU SPOKE.

HEY, HEY. HEY. WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

HELLO, HATTIE.

YOU GO TO HELL.

GUYS, I'LL BE BACK.

I'M GONNA MAKE A QUICK PHONE CALL.

DON'T TAKE TOO LONG.

OKAY.

HEY, EVERYBODY.

Danny: HEY. Drew: HI.

IS ‐‐ IS GRANDMA ALL RIGHT?

YES. THEY FOUND A FEW THINGS ON THE X‐RAYS,

AND THEY WANT TO RUN SOME TESTS, BUT THAT'S ALL.

AND SHE FREAKED OUT.

Vivian: OHH.

THAT'S HOW WE FOUND IT WITH OLD GIRL.

WAIT. WHO'S OLD GIRL?

THAT'S HER HORSE.

THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT HER DOWN.

SHE'S GOT CANCER.

I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

OLD GIRL IS DYING.

IT'S SO SAD.

SHE HAS CANCER?

AND I JUST CAN'T BEAR IT!

OH, GOD! I'M DYING!

IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

IS THERE A WILL?

YEAH, THERE'S A WILL, BUT YOU AIN'T GETTING A DAMN THING!

FLOYD, THAT IS NOT FUNNY!

STOP IT, UNCLE FLOYD.

CAN'T THEY JUST PUT HER OUT TO PASTURE?

SAM, YOU WANT TO PUT ME OUT TO PASTURE?!

AND KEEP HER SUFFERING?

NO, I'M WITH MISS VIVIAN ‐‐ PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY.

STOP THE SUFFERING.

MY OWN DAUGHTER?!

SHE RAN A GOOD RACE.

WHY IS THE RED‐HAIRED DEVIL THE ONLY ONE TAKING UP FOR ME?

SHE RAN FOR A LONG TIME.

THAT IS SO SAD.

WHAT IS SO SAD?

HER HORSE IS DYING ‐‐ OLD GIRL IS DYING.

OH, NO. I'M SO SORRY.

I GOT TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER.

I GOTS TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER.

WELL, LISTEN, I NEED TO GO BIBLE STUDY.

SO I'LL PRAY FOR HER.

Vivian: THANK YOU.

OH, CAN I GO TO BIBLE STUDY WITH YOU?

YOU WANT TO GO TO BIBLE STUDY?

YES.

REALLY?

YES!

WHY ARE YOU SO SURPRISED?

[ GASPS ]

DON'T YOU TOUCH ME, YOU DEVIL.

THE REASON WE SURPRISED

IS BECAUSE, THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN CHURCH,

YOU SAID BEFORE YOU COME BACK TO CHURCH,

HELL WOULD HAVE TO FREEZE OVER.

OH, FLOYD.

YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER.

AND YOU SO HANDSOME, TOO.

WHAT THE WHAT?

LOOK, EVERYBODY JUST ORDER WHAT YOU LIKE.

IT'S ON ME.

ARE YOU READY TO GO?

I'M READY TO GO, DAUGHTER.

LET'S GO.

OKAY, MAMA.

GO ON TO THE CAR.

YES, I'M GONNA GO WAIT IN THE CAR.

PRAISE GOD.

OH, MY.

WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO GRANDMA?

OH, THAT'S CRACK.

OH. OKAY.

YOU GUYS, I THINK SHE OVERHEARD YOU GUYS

TALKING ABOUT THE HORSE DYING.

SHE THINKS SHE'S DYING.

OH, NO. [ CHUCKLES ]

I HAVE TO GO TELL HER.

NO, NO, NO, NO. NO.

NO.

FLOYD, IT WOULD BE CRUEL TO NOT TELL HER.

I AGREE.

YOU TWO HAD BETTER STOP SMILING AND TELL GRANDMA.

WAIT, BABY.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET HER

TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME FOR YEARS.

I MAY NOT TELL HER RIGHT AWAY.

OOH! I AM SO GLAD I'M NOT A PART OF THIS FAMILY.

NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING.

AND, YES, I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT A PART OF THIS FAMILY, TOO.

MAMA!

I DON'T THINK THIS IS A GOOD THING TO DO.

WELL, IT'S DONE, BABY.

IT'S OKAY.

IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

HEY, MAMA.

HEY, BABY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER WANTED TO TALK TO ALL OF US.

WELL, I'M NOT IN THIS FAMILY.

NEITHER AM I.

ME NEITHER.

WELL, SHE WANTED ALL OF YOU HERE.

WAIT.

YOU STILL DIDN'T TELL HER.

NO.

BUT I WILL.

BABY, SHE'S BEEN SO NICE.

SHE'S BEEN PRAYING WITH ME AND GOING TO CHURCH.

SHE SMILED AT ME.

ARE YOU SURE SHE'S NOT DYING FOR REAL?

[ SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS ]

HELLO, FAMILY.

HEY, GRANDMA.

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT?

THIS IS MY HOLY ROBE.

I'M GOING TO BE BAPTIZED

AFTER I FINISH TALKING TO YOU ALL.

THEY GONNA PUT YOU IN THE WATER?

OH, THAT WATER GONNA START BOILING.

FISH GONNA COME UP COOKED.

[ GIGGLES ]

OH, FLOYD, YOU'RE SO FUNNY.

EVERYBODY HAVE A SEAT. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ALL.

HAVE A SEAT.

I KNOW I WON'T BE HERE VERY LONG.

BUT I'D LIKE TO LEAVE EACH OF YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING.

[ SIGHS ] DANNY.

WHEN YOU GROW UP...

...I WANT YOU TO BE A BIG BOY.

I AM GROWN, GRANDMA.

I MEAN INTO A FULL‐SIZE MAN.

DANNY, I LEAVE YOU 47% OF THE DINER.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.

HOLD THE FORT. [ CHUCKLES ]

40% OF YOUR 50%.

MY DEAR LINDA...

...BABY, I LEAVE YOU 50%.

HA!

50% OF YOUR 50%.

AND, FLOYD.

FLOYD CAN KEEP HIS 3%.

OF YOUR 50%.

ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! WE KNOW!

"OF THE 50%." HELL.

3% OF THE PROFIT.

WOW. THAT'S ABOUT $30 A MONTH.

WITH HER 50%. I KNOW.

GRANDMA, ARE YOU OKAY?

YES. I'M FINE.

OH.

AND TO MY DEAREST SAM, I LEAVE YOU THIS.

WHAT IS IT?

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT HAS GIVEN ME SUPPORT

DOWN THROUGH THE YEARS.

DON'T NOBODY WANT YOUR STEEL‐BELTED BRA.

HEY. SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

THESE ARE HER PANTIES.

[ SMOOCHES ]

NOW, THOSE GONE PAST THE POINT OF PANTIES.

THOSE ARE BIG‐ASS DRAWERS.

OH, FLOYD.

YOU'RE SO CUTE.

WELL, ENOUGH OF THIS. [ CHUCKLES ]

I'M GETTING READY TO PUT OLD GIRL DOWN.

OLD GIRL?!

YOU AIN'T GOT TO BE SO NASTY ABOUT IT!

WELL, THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO SAY IT.

DEATH IS HARD.

YOU CAN AT LEAST BE NICE.

BUT I'M LOSING AN OLD FRIEND.

WELL, I HAVE TO GO.

[ SIGHS ]

OLD GIRL IS GETTING READY

TO CLOSE HER EYES FOR THE LAST TIME.

OH, WHEN IS ALL OF THIS GONNA HAPPEN?

IN AN HOUR.

IN AN HOUR?!

AN HOUR?!

I ONLY HAVE AN HOUR TO LIVE?

SEE YOU LATER.

ENOUGH.

GRANDMA, THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

WHAT IS IT?

[ SIGHS ] I GOT YOUR TEST RESULTS BACK.

YOU'RE FINE.

I AM?

YES.

YOU'RE NOT DYING.

BUT I HEARD YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT PUTTING OLD GIRL DOWN.

HATTIE.

GO AHEAD, LINDA.

JUST TELL ME.

I CAN HANDLE IT.

ALL I HAVE IS ME AND THE LORD.

THE LORD DON'T KNOW YOU.

HE DON'T.

IT TOOK YOU THINKING YOU'RE GONNA DIE

FOR YOU TO BE NICE?

YES.

I HAVE TO GET RIGHT WITH THE LORD.

UH, GRANDMA, YOU'RE NOT DYING.

MISS VIVIAN HAD TO PUT DOWN HER HORSE.

OH, THEY WASN'T TALKING ABOUT ME?

NO.

SO I'M NOT DYING?

I MEAN, TRUE THAT YOU DO LOOK LIKE A HORSE.

BUT WE WERE ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT HER HORSE.

OH, YOU SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD!

[ GLASS RATTLES ]

SHE'S BACK.

ALL THAT CUSSING IN YOUR BAPTISMAL ROBE.

MAMA. MAMA.

NOW THAT YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DYING,

YOU SHOULD KEEP COMING TO CHURCH WITH ME.

THEN YOU CAN THANK GOD FOR THAT.

I BET I DON'T.

KEEP THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

I'M TAKING THIS DOGGONE THING OFF.

AND Y'ALL GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE.

AND DON'T EVER PLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!

I DIDN'T GET MY GIFT, MISS HATTIE.

GET THE HELL OUT!

OKAY.

MAKE ME THINK I'M DYING!

I'M KEEPING THIS SWEET TABLECLOTH.

YOU CAN KEEP IT IF YOU LIKE, SAM.

OHH.

NO, IT'S OKAY.

AIN'T NO NEED IN YOU CLOSING THE DOOR.

YOU GET THE HELL OUT, TOO!

MAMA, I LIVE HERE.

NO, THE HELL YOU DON'T ‐‐ NOT ANYMORE.

MAKE ME THINK I'M DYING.

YOU THINK I'M A FOOL AND GONNA LET YOU STAY WITH ME?

GET THE HELL OUT!

MAMA, I WAS CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR SOUL!