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1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,672
Hattie:
THERE YOU GO.
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,674
AND THANKS FOR THE TIP...
3
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,511
A DAMN DOLLAR.
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:14,214
I WILL THROW THIS HERE
BACK IN YOUR FACE.
5
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,016
CHEAP BASTARD.
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,818
HATTIE.
7
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:21,121
SPEAKING OF BASTARD ‐‐
OH, HEY, DANNY.
8
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,390
HEY, GRANDMA.
9
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:27,561
DON'T PUT THEM THINGS
ON ME.
10
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,863
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOUR LIPS DONE BEEN.
11
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,499
I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU
WHERE YOUR LIPS HAVE BEEN.
12
00:00:33,499 --> 00:00:37,403
SAM KNOW
WHERE MY LIPS DONE BEEN.
13
00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:40,507
GOOD MORNING,
MISS HATTIE.
14
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:41,942
MORNING, SAMSON.
15
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:45,712
MISS HATTIE,
PLEASE STOP THAT.
16
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,180
STOP WHAT?
17
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,015
WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
18
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,284
WHAT AM I DOING?
19
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,353
UNDRESSING ME
WITH YOUR EYES.
20
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:57,591
OH, NO, BABY,
I'M PAST UNDRESSING YOU.
21
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,926
I'M ON MY WAY
TO A CIGARETTE.
22
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:02,368
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
23
00:01:02,368 --> 00:01:04,538
[ BLOWS ]
[ WHIMPERS ]
24
00:01:05,906 --> 00:01:10,544
PLEASE, I BEG YOU.
25
00:01:10,544 --> 00:01:15,148
THAT'S THE SAME THING YOU SAID
BEFORE I HAD THAT CIGARETTE.
26
00:01:15,148 --> 00:01:18,318
STOP THE TORTURE.
27
00:01:18,318 --> 00:01:21,321
OH, SAMSON,
YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME.
28
00:01:22,656 --> 00:01:28,161
YOU KNOW ONCE YOU GO OLD,
YOU GETS THE GOLD.
29
00:01:29,996 --> 00:01:34,100
NO, ONCE YOU GO OLD,
YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND MOLD.
30
00:01:35,602 --> 00:01:37,437
OH,
YOU SHUT UP, FLOY‐‐
31
00:01:37,437 --> 00:01:39,272
I GOT YOU, FLOYD.
32
00:01:39,272 --> 00:01:40,741
[ GRUNTS ]
33
00:01:40,741 --> 00:01:43,309
AAH! NO, I DON'T.
34
00:01:43,309 --> 00:01:44,978
I CAN PROMISE YOU,
BABY ‐‐
35
00:01:44,978 --> 00:01:47,514
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT,
RIGHT HERE.
36
00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:51,017
♪♪ BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT
IF YOU WANT IT ♪♪
37
00:01:52,653 --> 00:01:55,656
‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐
www.vitac.com
38
00:01:55,656 --> 00:01:58,659
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
39
00:02:11,111 --> 00:02:14,180
MY GRANDMOTHER NEEDS TO
STOP FLIRTING WITH YOU.
40
00:02:14,180 --> 00:02:16,583
IT'S NOT HER FAULT.
41
00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:18,384
I'M JUST
SO DAMN SEXY...
42
00:02:19,686 --> 00:02:23,023
...BUT I DON'T THINK
I'M HUNGRY ANYMORE.
43
00:02:23,023 --> 00:02:25,892
WE CAN SEE WHY.
44
00:02:27,561 --> 00:02:30,030
STOP IT.
THAT'S MY GRANDMOTHER.
45
00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:31,397
YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT.
46
00:02:31,397 --> 00:02:35,902
LOOK, "GRANDMA" IS JUST
A SWEET NAME
47
00:02:35,902 --> 00:02:38,438
FOR SOMEONE LIKE THAT
THAT'S GETTING OLD.
48
00:02:39,873 --> 00:02:41,241
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
49
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:42,943
EVERY DAY THAT GOES BY,
50
00:02:42,943 --> 00:02:45,345
I THINK
SHE'S JUST ONE DAY CLOSER
51
00:02:45,345 --> 00:02:47,614
TO PUTTING HER OTHER FOOT
IN THE GRAVE...
52
00:02:47,614 --> 00:02:48,815
[ CHUCKLES ]
53
00:02:48,815 --> 00:02:50,316
...AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS,
54
00:02:50,316 --> 00:02:53,820
THERE'S GONNA BE A WHOLE LOT OF
SLOW WALKING AND LOUD SINGING.
55
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:55,656
[ SQUAWKS ]
56
00:02:55,656 --> 00:02:57,924
WHOO!
57
00:02:57,924 --> 00:02:59,325
WHOO!
58
00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:02,503
DON'T TALK LIKE THAT,
UNCLE FLOYD.
59
00:03:02,503 --> 00:03:05,005
DON'T ACT LIKE
YOU LOVE YOUR GRANDMAMA.
60
00:03:05,005 --> 00:03:09,009
I DO LOVE MY GRANDMOTHER.
61
00:03:09,009 --> 00:03:14,781
SHE'S KIND
AND SWEET AND STRONG.
62
00:03:14,781 --> 00:03:15,949
SO,
YOU'RE SAYING ALL THIS
63
00:03:15,949 --> 00:03:17,684
BECAUSE YOU REALLY DON'T
HAVE ENOUGH MONEY
64
00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:19,586
TO PAY FOR YOUR BREAKFAST
THIS MORNING, DO YOU?
65
00:03:19,586 --> 00:03:22,088
[ CHUCKLES ]
66
00:03:22,088 --> 00:03:23,189
NO.
67
00:03:24,725 --> 00:03:26,927
NO, REALLY, I DON'T.
68
00:03:29,429 --> 00:03:33,166
YOU'RE ABOUT THE BROKEST,
WORKINGEST FOLKS
69
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:35,435
I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
70
00:03:35,435 --> 00:03:36,570
Hattie:
HI.
71
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:38,672
I'M JUST HERE
TO PICK UP MY ORDER ‐‐ MARIANNA.
72
00:03:38,672 --> 00:03:40,173
OH, OKAY, BABY,
I'LL GET IT FOR YOU.
73
00:03:40,173 --> 00:03:41,341
THANK YOU.
74
00:03:41,341 --> 00:03:44,645
[ Singsong voice ]
WOW.
75
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,582
WHAT?
76
00:03:48,582 --> 00:03:50,884
NEPHEW,
GET IT TOGETHER.
77
00:03:50,884 --> 00:03:54,187
LOOK OVER THERE
WHAT CAME IN THE DOOR.
78
00:03:55,956 --> 00:03:59,025
OH, WOW.
79
00:03:59,025 --> 00:04:00,634
THAT IS A NICE DRESS!
80
00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:04,404
FLOYD, DON'T.
81
00:04:06,773 --> 00:04:08,141
WELL, YOU HANDLE IT.
82
00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:11,044
DO YOU LIKE THE PUMPS,
TOO?
83
00:04:14,581 --> 00:04:16,517
THEY MATCH HER PURSE.
84
00:04:17,984 --> 00:04:20,954
THAT'S NICE.
85
00:04:20,954 --> 00:04:24,658
GET IT TOGETHER, NEPHEW!
86
00:04:24,658 --> 00:04:28,061
IT'S WHAT'S
INSIDE THE DRESS.
87
00:04:29,963 --> 00:04:31,397
OH.
MM‐HMM.
88
00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:35,134
SHE IS BEAUTIFUL.
89
00:04:35,134 --> 00:04:37,537
SHE IS BANGING.
90
00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:42,976
GUYS, HER EYES
ARE ON HER FACE.
91
00:04:42,976 --> 00:04:46,446
WE KNOW.
WE KNOW.
92
00:04:46,446 --> 00:04:49,449
STOP IT.
93
00:04:49,449 --> 00:04:51,752
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH YOU?
94
00:04:51,752 --> 00:04:53,654
I HAVE A MOTHER
AND GRANDMOTHER.
95
00:04:53,654 --> 00:04:56,456
AND DON'T NEITHER ONE OF THEM
LOOK LIKE THAT.
96
00:04:58,525 --> 00:05:01,568
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
A BIG‐HEAD GIANT AND A GNOME.
97
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:07,173
WHAT DOES A GIANT AND A GNOME
HAVE TO DO WITH HER?
98
00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:11,612
THEY TAUGHT ME
HOW TO RESPECT WOMEN.
99
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,380
THEY TAUGHT YOU
HOW TO BE A WIMP.
100
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,884
[ SIGHS ]
YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.
101
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:20,220
WE RESPECT WOMEN.
102
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,789
NO, YOU DON'T.
103
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,224
I RESPECT THEM ENOUGH
104
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,827
THAT THEY BETTER
LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY.
105
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,462
[ CHUCKLES ]
I HEAR YOU.
106
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,031
GIVE ME SOME.
YOU GOT IT.
107
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:33,199
TAKE IT. BOOM.
108
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,536
SEE, YOU TWO
ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT
109
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,803
TO MEN EVERYWHERE.
110
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,372
NO, MY LITTLE
ESTROGEN‐FILLED BOTTLE OF BOY
111
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:40,741
IN A LITTLE MAN'S BODY.
112
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,678
I'M GONNA
GO TALK TO HER.
113
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:51,417
I'M GOING IN.
114
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:53,654
I GOT TO SEE THIS.
115
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,360
HI.
116
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,668
HI.
117
00:06:01,668 --> 00:06:04,170
I'M...SAM.
118
00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:07,941
HI, SAM.
119
00:06:07,941 --> 00:06:09,409
[ CHUCKLES ]
120
00:06:09,409 --> 00:06:12,613
I GAVE YOU MY NAME,
BUT YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME YOURS.
121
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,050
SAM, I'M REALLY JUST
TRYING TO HAVE BREAKFAST.
122
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,519
I'M SORRY.
123
00:06:18,519 --> 00:06:19,853
LET'S MAKE A DEAL.
124
00:06:19,853 --> 00:06:24,257
YOU GIVE ME YOUR NAME,
AND I'LL GIVE YOU ME.
125
00:06:24,257 --> 00:06:25,425
UGH.
126
00:06:25,425 --> 00:06:28,094
SAM, TAKE YOUR DAMN LEG
OFF MY TABLE!
127
00:06:28,094 --> 00:06:30,931
SORRY, MISS HATTIE.
128
00:06:30,931 --> 00:06:33,867
OKAY, DOES THAT ACTUALLY
WORK FOR PEOPLE?
129
00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:35,268
YOU'VE DONE THAT
BEFORE?
130
00:06:35,268 --> 00:06:38,304
[ LAUGHS ]
131
00:06:38,304 --> 00:06:39,372
YES.
132
00:06:40,607 --> 00:06:42,242
OKAY, LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
133
00:06:42,242 --> 00:06:43,309
BUT I'M REALLY NOT ‐‐
134
00:06:43,309 --> 00:06:44,945
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
135
00:06:44,945 --> 00:06:47,413
I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE,
AS I WAS SAYING.
136
00:06:47,413 --> 00:06:49,315
I'M JUST
REALLY NOT INTERESTED.
137
00:06:50,416 --> 00:06:54,420
Both: OOH,
SHE GAVE HIM THE PUPPY PAT.
138
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,289
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
139
00:06:56,289 --> 00:06:58,759
SO,
YOU LIKE TO ROLE‐PLAY...
140
00:06:58,759 --> 00:07:02,235
PRETEND THAT
YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED.
141
00:07:04,137 --> 00:07:05,238
OKAY, LISTEN.
142
00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:06,540
THIS IS NOT PRETENDING.
143
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:07,841
I AM NOT INTERESTED.
144
00:07:09,109 --> 00:07:11,111
LOOK,
THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU.
145
00:07:11,111 --> 00:07:13,246
JUST GO AND HAVE BREAKFAST
WITH YOUR FRIENDS
146
00:07:13,246 --> 00:07:17,317
AND WITH YOUR CUTE,
LITTLE BOY JACKET.
147
00:07:17,317 --> 00:07:19,753
[ Mockingly ] GO HAVE BREAKFAST
WITH MY FRIENDS.
148
00:07:19,753 --> 00:07:21,955
JUST A BIG BOY
HAVING A BIG BREAKFAST.
149
00:07:21,955 --> 00:07:23,657
BYE.
150
00:07:23,657 --> 00:07:25,125
ARE YOU REALLY
SHOOTING ME DOWN?
151
00:07:25,125 --> 00:07:27,561
I AM. I'M SORRY.
152
00:07:28,862 --> 00:07:31,865
NO ONE EVER
SHOOTS ME DOWN.
153
00:07:31,865 --> 00:07:35,201
YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FIRST TIME
FOR EVERYTHING IN LIFE,
154
00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:36,870
AND I'M GLAD
THAT IT WAS WITH ME
155
00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:39,205
BECAUSE, LOOK,
WE CAN BE FRIENDS.
156
00:07:39,205 --> 00:07:42,242
JUST DON'T CRY.
157
00:07:42,242 --> 00:07:43,877
IT'S FINE.
158
00:07:45,378 --> 00:07:47,814
[ Weakly ] OKAY.
159
00:07:47,814 --> 00:07:50,450
YOU KNOW, Y‐Y‐Y‐YOU'RE REALLY ‐‐
YOU'RE NOT THAT HOT.
160
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,153
EXCUSE ME?
161
00:07:53,153 --> 00:07:55,255
YEAH, Y‐YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY
THAT I CAME OVER HERE
162
00:07:55,255 --> 00:07:57,323
AND TRIED TO MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF
163
00:07:57,323 --> 00:07:59,660
BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUS THAT
YOU'RE SELF‐ESTEEM IS BRUISED.
164
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:01,467
NO, IT'S NOT!
165
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,505
LISTEN,
IF YOU DON'T GET AWAY FROM ME,
166
00:08:04,505 --> 00:08:06,006
I AM GOING TO HIT YOU.
OKAY?
167
00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:07,541
NOW GO BACK
TO YOUR FRIENDS.
168
00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:08,709
NOW. TURN.
169
00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:11,745
WE GOT TO GET HIM.
GET HIM.
170
00:08:11,745 --> 00:08:14,681
IT'S OKAY. COME ON.
SIT DOWN.
171
00:08:14,681 --> 00:08:17,217
I'M IN SHOCK.
172
00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:19,720
OKAY. HERE WE GO.
THANK YOU.
173
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,087
HOPE YOU ENJOY.
174
00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,188
I HOPE SO, TOO.
175
00:08:22,188 --> 00:08:23,690
BUT I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
176
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:25,491
THE ENERGY OVER HERE
IS A LITTLE OFF.
177
00:08:27,661 --> 00:08:29,730
YEAH.
178
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,164
HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?
179
00:08:31,164 --> 00:08:32,833
OH, THAT'LL BE ENOUGH
TO COVER IT.
180
00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:34,400
WAIT, THERE'S ‐‐
181
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,002
HERE. NO.
182
00:08:36,002 --> 00:08:37,203
I'M GONNA
KEEP ALL OF IT.
183
00:08:37,203 --> 00:08:38,338
THANK YOU.
YEAH, ENJOY.
184
00:08:38,338 --> 00:08:41,542
OH.
185
00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:45,646
HATE TO SEE YOU LEAVE,
BUT I LOVE SEEING YOU WALK AWAY.
186
00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:47,247
STOP IT.
187
00:08:47,247 --> 00:08:48,448
STOP IT!
188
00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:52,485
THAT WAS JUST WRONG,
SAM.
189
00:08:52,485 --> 00:08:55,689
SHE KNOWS
SHE WANTS ME.
190
00:08:55,689 --> 00:08:58,224
NO,
THAT WAS JUST FUNNY.
191
00:08:58,224 --> 00:09:00,701
[ LAUGHS ]
192
00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:03,937
POW!
193
00:09:08,341 --> 00:09:10,711
SAM, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT
TO HER?
194
00:09:10,711 --> 00:09:12,345
YOU GUYS ARE LATE.
195
00:09:12,345 --> 00:09:13,980
I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
196
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:15,649
IT'S 'CAUSE OF SAM!
197
00:09:15,649 --> 00:09:19,586
HE WAS INSULTING
THIS REALLY NICE LADY.
198
00:09:19,586 --> 00:09:21,254
YEAH, WELL, YOU TWO REALLY
NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER.
199
00:09:21,254 --> 00:09:24,658
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?
200
00:09:24,658 --> 00:09:26,459
OUR NEW BOSS IS HERE.
201
00:09:26,459 --> 00:09:28,629
REALLY? WHERE IS HE?
I WANT TO MEET HIM.
202
00:09:28,629 --> 00:09:30,496
IT'S NOT A HIM.
203
00:09:30,496 --> 00:09:32,498
IT'S A HER.
204
00:09:32,498 --> 00:09:33,767
EVEN BETTER.
205
00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:38,404
I WANNA, I WANNA, I WANNA,
I WANNA MEET HER.
206
00:09:41,307 --> 00:09:43,777
DREW, I WAS LOOKING AT
THESE REPORTS.
207
00:09:43,777 --> 00:09:44,945
THEY'RE GREAT.
THANK YOU.
208
00:09:44,945 --> 00:09:45,946
OF COURSE.
209
00:09:48,114 --> 00:09:52,452
GUYS, THIS IS MARIANNA,
OUR NEW BOSS.
210
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,257
I'M DEAD.
211
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,442
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU SEE?
212
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,977
I BET YOU WISHED
YOU WERE RAISED
213
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:12,879
BY MY MOM AND GRANDMOTHER NOW,
DON'T YOU?
214
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:18,018
I'D RATHER HAVE BEEN RAISED
BY A PACK OF WOLVES.
215
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:21,087
[ BARKS, HOWLS ]
216
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,792
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
SO, YOU'RE OUR NEW BOSS?
217
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,729
YES. AND I DID SEE YOU
AT THE DINER WITH HIM.
218
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,163
I'M SORRY.
219
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,637
YEAH.
[ CHUCKLES LIGHTLY ]
220
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,338
THAT'S
MY GRANDMOTHER'S PLACE.
221
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,306
I KNOW. IT'S REALLY NICE.
I LIKE IT.
222
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,577
IF IT WASN'T FOR
THE REALLY RUDE CUSTOMERS.
223
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,281
YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT!
224
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:54,688
MARIANNA, THIS IS SAM.
225
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,256
[ Deep voice ]
SAMUEL JACK‐‐
226
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,692
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
227
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:03,870
SAMUEL, UH,
GO‐SKI‐JUMPING‐SPRITZERFELD.
228
00:11:05,438 --> 00:11:07,808
SAM, WE MET.
229
00:11:07,808 --> 00:11:10,110
OH, NO.
WHAT?
230
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:12,345
DON'T TELL ME
YOU KNOW THIS GUY.
231
00:11:12,345 --> 00:11:14,047
I DO NOT KNOW HIM.
232
00:11:14,047 --> 00:11:17,150
OH, GOOD.
'CAUSE HE'S A HOT MESS.
233
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,554
OH, I KNOW.
234
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,056
HE'S THE REALLY RUDE GUY
FROM THE RESTAURANT.
235
00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:26,760
OH,
WHA‐‐ N‐N‐N‐NO, I WASN'T.
236
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,796
I WAS JUST...
JOKING AROUND WITH YOU.
237
00:11:29,796 --> 00:11:33,600
I KNEW
YOU WERE COMING HERE TODAY.
238
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:34,668
OH, REALLY?
239
00:11:34,668 --> 00:11:36,803
HOW DID YOU KNOW
I WAS COMING HERE TODAY?
240
00:11:36,803 --> 00:11:41,041
'CAUSE...I'M...
A PSYCHIC.
241
00:11:43,409 --> 00:11:45,378
REALLY?
YOU'RE A PSYCHIC?
242
00:11:45,378 --> 00:11:46,947
MM‐HMM.
AND, AS A PSYCHIC,
243
00:11:46,947 --> 00:11:49,149
HOW DO YOU SEE YOUR FUTURE
HERE AT THIS COMPANY?
244
00:11:49,149 --> 00:11:55,856
[ Chinese accent ]
CONFUCIUS SAY, MM,
245
00:11:55,856 --> 00:12:01,067
"MANY
AND A MANY YEARS A."
246
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:04,470
HA.
WELL, CONFUCIUS SAYS,
247
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:06,306
"YOU'RE LATE AGAIN
AND YOU'RE FIRED."
248
00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:08,474
HMM?
249
00:12:08,474 --> 00:12:12,445
CONFUCIUS UNDERSTAND.
250
00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:15,281
WE'RE SORRY,
AND IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
251
00:12:15,281 --> 00:12:17,984
OKAY, GOOD.
LET'S ALL JUST GET BACK TO WORK.
252
00:12:17,984 --> 00:12:20,921
BOTH OF YOU, JUST GET TO WORK
AND JUST DO SOMETHING,
253
00:12:20,921 --> 00:12:24,024
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH.
254
00:12:24,024 --> 00:12:25,826
YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL,
BY THE WAY, TODAY.
255
00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:26,960
I LOVE THIS OUTFIT.
256
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,463
OKAY.
THANKS!
257
00:12:30,463 --> 00:12:33,066
YES, MA'AM.
258
00:12:36,503 --> 00:12:38,104
[ Normal voice ]
YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE!
259
00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:40,541
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
260
00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:42,108
YOU KNEW
SHE WAS STARTING TODAY,
261
00:12:42,108 --> 00:12:44,310
AND YOU DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING TO US.
262
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:47,447
SHE WOULDN'T DO THAT.
263
00:12:47,447 --> 00:12:50,551
OH.
WELL, YES, SHE WOULD!
264
00:12:50,551 --> 00:12:52,085
LOOK AT HER.
265
00:12:54,655 --> 00:12:57,423
OKAY, OKAY. FINE.
I CAME IN EARLY.
266
00:12:57,423 --> 00:12:59,492
THEY TOLD ME
THAT SHE WAS COMING YESTERDAY.
267
00:12:59,492 --> 00:13:03,970
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS GONNA BE HER.
268
00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:08,308
YOU ARE SO WRONG.
269
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:10,310
THIS IS SO UNFAIR.
270
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:14,881
HEY.
A GIRL NEEDS AN ADVANTAGE.
271
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:17,150
THEN GET
A PUSH‐UP BRA!
272
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:20,053
I TRIED.
273
00:13:20,053 --> 00:13:23,990
THEY DON'T COME
IN MY SIZE.
274
00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:26,026
WE WILL GET EVEN.
275
00:13:26,026 --> 00:13:27,661
GUYS, RELAX.
276
00:13:27,661 --> 00:13:29,563
I'M UPSET, TOO.
277
00:13:29,563 --> 00:13:31,932
WHY? YOU DIDN'T JUST
ASSAULT HER AT THE DINER
278
00:13:31,932 --> 00:13:34,901
WITH YOUR GOOD LOOKS
AND CHARM AND WIT.
279
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:38,171
YEAH, WHATEVER.
280
00:13:38,171 --> 00:13:41,341
BUT I REALLY WANTED
THAT PROMOTION.
281
00:13:41,341 --> 00:13:43,276
[ Mockingly ]
WELL, I'M REALLY, REALLY GLAD
282
00:13:43,276 --> 00:13:44,878
YOU DIDN'T GET IT!
283
00:13:44,878 --> 00:13:47,280
LISTEN TO ME!
284
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:54,420
I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING
FAR LONGER THAN YOU TWO HAVE.
285
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:56,557
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
286
00:13:56,557 --> 00:13:58,491
I KNOW THAT CHICK.
287
00:13:58,491 --> 00:14:01,802
WE LIVED TOGETHER
MY FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE.
288
00:14:01,802 --> 00:14:03,469
ALL THE GUYS LOVED HER.
289
00:14:03,469 --> 00:14:04,938
AND ME?
290
00:14:04,938 --> 00:14:07,107
WELL,
I WAS THE COAT RACK.
291
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:10,644
THE COAT RACK?
292
00:14:10,644 --> 00:14:14,247
[ LAUGHS ] YEAH.
293
00:14:14,247 --> 00:14:16,349
THAT'S WHEN
THE ROOMMATE'S NOT SO HOT,
294
00:14:16,349 --> 00:14:18,552
SO SHE HOLDS ALL THE COATS
AT THE PARTY.
295
00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:23,624
SUCH A SAD EXISTENCE.
296
00:14:23,624 --> 00:14:26,860
IT'S NO FAIR.
297
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:31,565
SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND SMART
AND KIND AND SWEET.
298
00:14:31,565 --> 00:14:35,636
I CAN'T STAND
THAT BITCH.
299
00:14:35,636 --> 00:14:37,538
WELL, THAT'S FUNNY.
300
00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:40,306
YOU DIDN'T SAY ANY OF THAT
WHILE SHE WAS OUT HERE.
301
00:14:40,306 --> 00:14:46,813
IT'S 'CAUSE SHE'S ‐‐ SHE'S ‐‐
SHE'S SO [Gagging] NICE.
302
00:14:46,813 --> 00:14:48,615
SHE MAKES ME SI‐‐
303
00:14:50,016 --> 00:14:52,653
I'M GONNA VO‐‐
Sam: NYUH.
304
00:14:52,653 --> 00:14:56,256
YOU KNOW,
YOU TWO ARE EVIL SPAWN.
305
00:15:00,293 --> 00:15:01,535
HEY, DREW.
306
00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:04,437
EEP.
YEAH, YEAH.
307
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,640
CAN YOU CALL
THESE PLACES FOR ME TODAY.
308
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,709
I NEED TO FIND
A PLACE TO LIVE ASAP.
309
00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:11,011
Sí, MARIANNA.
RIGHT AWAY.
310
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,713
YEAH.
311
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:19,219
SO, YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
AN APARTMENT?
312
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,622
YES.
313
00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:23,356
[ CHUCKLES LIGHTLY ]
314
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,660
IT'S "GET EVEN" TIME.
315
00:15:28,629 --> 00:15:30,531
MARIANNA, WE ALL LIVE
IN THE SAME BUILDING.
316
00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:33,099
OOH.
OOH.
317
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:38,071
SAM!
318
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,974
AND DREW'S ROOMMATE
JUST MOVED OUT.
319
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,242
ARE YOU LOOKING FOR
A ROOMMATE?
320
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,410
YEAH, I AM.
321
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,146
I'm gonna kill you.
322
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,881
THIS IS
GONNA BE PERFECT!
323
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:50,316
IT'LL BE LIKE
WE WERE JUST IN COLLEGE.
324
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,018
WE CAN BE ROOMMATES AGAIN!
YEAH!
325
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,720
I'M SO EXCITED!
326
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,355
OH, WOW
327
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,624
[Laughing]
CAN WE DO THAT AGAIN?
328
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:00,561
[ LAUGHS ]
329
00:16:00,561 --> 00:16:03,136
OH, HOW 'BOUT
I NEVER DO THAT AGAIN?
330
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,071
COME ON.
331
00:16:05,071 --> 00:16:08,408
NO?
OKAY.
332
00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:10,544
CAN I COME AFTER WORK
TO SEE IT?
333
00:16:10,544 --> 00:16:11,545
YEAH, GIRL!
334
00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:12,746
THAT'S PERFECT!
335
00:16:12,746 --> 00:16:13,747
OKAY, GOOD.
336
00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:15,015
SO,
I WILL SEE YOU AFTER WORK.
337
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,617
YOU MAKE THESE PHONE CALLS
JUST IN CASE.
338
00:16:16,617 --> 00:16:18,418
AND I'LL SEE YOU
AFTER WORK.
339
00:16:18,418 --> 00:16:19,853
[ Sternly ] GET TO WORK.
MM‐HMM.
340
00:16:23,323 --> 00:16:27,794
KILL ME NOW, PEOPLE.
JUST KILL ME NOW.
341
00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:30,130
I WOULD, BUT I'M ALL OUT
OF SILVER BULLETS.
342
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:34,200
[ BARKS, HOWLS ]
343
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,703
SAM, WE ALL KNOW
YOUR GUN IS EMPTY.
344
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,742
MAN,
I JUST CAN'T STAND HER.
345
00:16:41,742 --> 00:16:43,276
WHAT?!
346
00:16:43,276 --> 00:16:46,613
BUT YOU WERE
SO NICE TO HER.
347
00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:48,649
WELL, DUH.
348
00:16:48,649 --> 00:16:50,250
THAT'S 'CAUSE
I CAN'T STAND HER.
349
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:53,920
OH!
I GET IT.
350
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:54,955
[ LAUGHS ]
351
00:16:54,955 --> 00:16:56,289
BUT WAIT.
352
00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:59,526
I'M ONLY THAT WAY WHEN
I WANT TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE.
353
00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:03,804
BUT YOU SAID
YOU NEEDED A ROOMMATE.
354
00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:05,371
WELL, NOT HER.
355
00:17:05,371 --> 00:17:07,273
AND SHE'S MY BOSS?
356
00:17:07,273 --> 00:17:09,475
THIS IS NOT GOOD, GUYS.
357
00:17:09,475 --> 00:17:11,277
[ Whining ]
IT'S NOT GOOD.
358
00:17:18,184 --> 00:17:21,087
SO, UH,
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
359
00:17:21,087 --> 00:17:22,956
OH!
THIS IS PERFECT!
360
00:17:22,956 --> 00:17:25,659
EH.
[ CHUCKLES ]
361
00:17:25,659 --> 00:17:27,928
HOW 'BOUT
THE BEDROOM?
362
00:17:27,928 --> 00:17:31,698
DO YOU LIKE IT?
IT'S KIND OF SMALL, TINY.
363
00:17:31,698 --> 00:17:33,634
OH, NO. I LOVE IT.
IT'S PERFECT.
364
00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:34,801
OH, GREAT.
IT'S PERFECT FOR ME.
365
00:17:34,801 --> 00:17:37,270
GREAT. OKAY. OH, YEAH.
HAVE A SEAT.
366
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,205
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.
367
00:17:39,205 --> 00:17:40,841
YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS REMINDS ME OF?
368
00:17:40,841 --> 00:17:43,343
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT PARTY
THAT WE HAD LONG AGO,
369
00:17:43,343 --> 00:17:45,478
AND WE HAD
ALL THE FRAT BOYS COME OVER?
370
00:17:45,478 --> 00:17:47,981
YEAH. HOW COULD I NOT
REMEMBER...
371
00:17:47,981 --> 00:17:51,051
STANDING UNDER A PILE
OF SWEATY JOCK JACKETS?
372
00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:52,452
[ CHUCKLES ]
373
00:17:52,452 --> 00:17:54,054
YOU WERE
THE COAT‐CHECK GIRL.
374
00:17:54,054 --> 00:17:55,455
[ Laughing ] I FORGOT.
375
00:17:55,455 --> 00:17:57,958
[ Mock chuckling ]
OH! YOU, OH!
376
00:17:57,958 --> 00:17:59,526
TOODLE‐OO!
377
00:17:59,526 --> 00:18:03,103
OKAY.
WELL, THAT WAS FUNNY.
378
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:05,606
UH, I'M JUST GONNA GO
AND GET MYSELF UNPACKED,
379
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:06,740
MAKE MYSELF AT HOME.
380
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,241
I'M SO HAPPY.
THANK YOU.
381
00:18:08,241 --> 00:18:10,376
OKAY.
DO YOU NEED ANY HELP?
382
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,846
NO. I'M ALL SET. THANK YOU.
YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH.
383
00:18:12,846 --> 00:18:14,147
ALL RIGHT,
YOU SURE?
384
00:18:14,147 --> 00:18:16,049
YEAH. OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS GONNA BE SO PERFECT.
385
00:18:16,049 --> 00:18:17,083
I'M SO EXCITED.
386
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:18,552
YEAH,
IT'S GONNA BE SO GREAT.
387
00:18:18,552 --> 00:18:19,586
OLD TIMES.
388
00:18:19,586 --> 00:18:21,855
YOU AND I ARE GONNA BE
THE BEST OF ENEMIES.
389
00:18:22,889 --> 00:18:25,959
I MEAN, FRIENDS!
[ CHUCKLES ] BYE!
390
00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:27,360
ALL RIGHT, GIRL.
391
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,995
FRIENDS TILL THE END,
GIRL.
392
00:18:28,995 --> 00:18:30,631
YEAH.
I GOTTA GET OF HERE.
393
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:31,665
I CANNOT DO THIS.
394
00:18:31,665 --> 00:18:36,136
SHE HAS GOT TO GO.
GOT TO GO.
395
00:18:44,044 --> 00:18:48,481
NO, THERE IS NO WAY ‐‐
I AM NOT DOING THIS!
396
00:18:51,084 --> 00:18:53,954
WHAT THE HECK
ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
397
00:18:56,857 --> 00:19:00,026
WE'RE DOING YOGA.
398
00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:03,904
OH, WELL,
IT LOOKS KIND OF KINKY.
399
00:19:03,904 --> 00:19:09,375
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO JOIN IN?
400
00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:10,877
NO!
401
00:19:10,877 --> 00:19:15,248
I WANT HER AND HER TWINS
OUT OF MY APARTMENT!
402
00:19:15,248 --> 00:19:19,853
YOU WERE JUST SAYING YOU NEEDED
HELP WITH THE RENT, DREW.
403
00:19:21,922 --> 00:19:25,058
AND WE LIKE
THE TWINS.
404
00:19:25,058 --> 00:19:29,095
SHE IS MY BOSS.
405
00:19:29,095 --> 00:19:30,631
DON'T YOU GUYS GET THAT?
406
00:19:30,631 --> 00:19:32,498
SHE'LL KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING AT WORK
407
00:19:32,498 --> 00:19:34,034
AND WHAT I'M DOING
AT HOME.
408
00:19:34,034 --> 00:19:37,638
THEN JUST DO WHAT I DO.
409
00:19:37,638 --> 00:19:38,772
AND WHAT'S THAT?
410
00:19:38,772 --> 00:19:40,073
NOTHING AT HOME...
411
00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:41,074
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
412
00:19:41,074 --> 00:19:42,175
...AND LESS AT WORK.
413
00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:48,982
I THINK
IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
414
00:19:48,982 --> 00:19:53,453
YOU TWO WILL GET ALONG
JUST FINE.
415
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:54,821
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
416
00:19:54,821 --> 00:19:56,957
NO, WE WON'T.
417
00:19:56,957 --> 00:19:58,559
AS LONG AS SHE'S AROUND,
418
00:19:58,559 --> 00:20:00,834
NO GUY WILL EVER
LOOK AT ME AGAIN.
419
00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:03,937
NO GUY LOOKS AT YOU,
ANYWAYS.
420
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:05,939
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
421
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:07,440
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
422
00:20:08,909 --> 00:20:11,512
THE GUY THAT SELLS THE HOT DOGS
LOOKS AT HER.
423
00:20:12,713 --> 00:20:15,549
HMM. RIGHT.
424
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,452
AND THE HOMELESS GUY
WITH THE COWBOY BOOTS.
425
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,190
FLOYD.
426
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,225
NICE.
427
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,795
WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL EVEN WORSE,
GUYS.
428
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,564
IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
429
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:32,332
NO, IT WON'T!
430
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,401
I WANT HER GONE!
431
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,203
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
432
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:39,540
YOGA'S SUPPOSED TO
BE ABOUT PEACE,
433
00:20:39,540 --> 00:20:43,276
AND YOU'RE RUINING
OUR PRIVATE MEDITATION.
434
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:48,081
[ BOTH EXHALE DEEPLY ]
435
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:51,384
DANNY,
I'M MOVING IN HERE WITH YOU.
436
00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:58,725
WE DON'T HAVE ROOM.
437
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:03,069
UNLESS
IT'S IN MY ROOM.
29145
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