Original subtitles

AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE ‐‐

YOU DON'T BE TALKING ABOUT MY COOKING!

I'VE BEEN COOKING FOR 58 YEARS,

AND I'VE COOKED IN SOME OF THE FINEST DINERS

IN THE WORLD.

HATTIE, YOU AIN'T BEEN NOWHERE OUTSIDE OF GEORGIA.

HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT UNTIL YOU JUST TOLD HIM!

AND WHERE YOU THINK YOU GOING?

OH, YOU GONNA GIVE ME MY MONEY!

MAMA, LET ME GO!

NAH, HE DONE ATE MY FOOD.

I THINK HE NEED TO PAY ME FOR MY FOOD!

THANK YOU, SIR.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

I'M SAVING YOU FROM GOING BACK TO JAIL.

AND YOU KNOW YOU ON PROBATION!

HE GONNA NEED A RESURRECTION HE COME BACK IN HERE AGAIN.

MAMA, WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME?

HE SAID VIVIAN'S PIE IS BETTER THAN MINE,

AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO PAY ME FOR IT.

I MEAN, SHE'S ALWAYS HAD A LINE OVER THERE NOW.

FLOYD, THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE GLAD THEY HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO

TO GET SOME GOOD OLD SOUL FOOD COOKING

AND SOME GOOD OLD SWEET HATTIE LOVE.

I'VE HAD LOYAL CUSTOMERS FOR YEARS,

AND THEY LOVE MY SWEET‐POTATO PIE.

AND MOST OF THEM, THEY HAVE THREE SLICES A DAY.

[ SCOFFS ]

TILL THEY ALL DIED.

THAT AIN'T MY FAULT.

THEY HAD DIABETES.

HEART ATTACKS.

GOUT.

KIDNEY FAILURE.

HIGH CHOLESTEROL.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE.

LITTLE BITTY FEET.

BUT THERE'S STILL NO REASON FOR THEM TO JUST LEAVE.

IF THEY WANT TO LIVE, THEY SHOULD.

YOU MAKE ME SICK.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

AND DON'T COME BACK IN HERE NO MORE, EITHER!

MAKE ME SICK!

MAMA, WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME?

THEY SAID VIVIAN'S FOOD IS BETTER THAN MINE

AND DIDN'T WANT TO PAY ME.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PUT THESE FLYERS UP

THAT SAID, "I KNOW VIVIAN'S BURNED DOWN,

"BUT IF MY FOOD IS NOT BETTER,

I WILL GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK."

YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THE FINE PRINT.

READ!

"PSYCH, I'M JUST KIDD‐‐"

MAMA!

RIGHT. BAM! [ CHUCKLES ]

MAMA, YOU CANNOT KEEP DOING THIS TO CUSTOMERS.

I'M NOT DOING THIS TO CUSTOMERS.

I'M DOING THIS TO THE TRAITORS!

HATTIE, JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY DON'T LIKE YOUR COOKING

DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE A TRAITOR.

MAMA, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

IF THE MAN DOESN'T LIKE YOUR COOKING,

YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM EAT IT.

[ SCOFFS ] SHE DID THAT TO YOUR DADDY FOR YEARS.

I CAN'T HELP IT IF THEY DON'T KNOW GOURMET COOKING

WHEN THEY TASTE IT!

THE ONLY THING GOURMET ABOUT YOUR COOKING

IS THE WORD "GOURMET" ON THE BOX.

FLOYD, I THINK YOU NEED TO HUSH 'FORE YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB.

AH, AH, AH ‐‐ I GOT A CONTRACT.

I'M A PARTNER.

3% AIN'T NO PARTNERSHIP!

YOU ARE AN EMPLOYEE!

MAMA, YOU REALLY NEED TO CALM DOWN.

I THOUGHT FOR SURE WHEN VIVIAN'S PLACE CLOSED DOWN,

THE MONEY WOULD JUST BE ROLLING IN.

OH, IT'S ROLLING IN.

UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S THE KIND OF MONEY THAT ROLLS.

[ CASH REGISTER DINGS ]

HOW MUCH MONEY DID WE MAKE?

WELL...

WELL? WELL WHAT?

[ COINS JINGLE ]

THIS ALL THE MONEY WE MADE?

YEAH. SORRY.

FLOYD, I BETTER NOT FIND OUT

YOU'VE BEEN DIPPING IN MY REGISTER.

IT'S GONNA BE ME AND YOU.

I COULDN'T DIP A DOUGHNUT IN THAT REGISTER.

[ COINS JINGLE ]

WELL, I RECKON I'M GOING TO THE BANK.

YOU'D BE BETTER OFF GOING TO THE LAUNDROMAT.

MNH‐MNH.

SHE WON'T HAVE A ENOUGH TO WASH AND DRY.

BOTH OF Y'ALL, SHUT THE HELL UP.

...AND MY GIRLFRIENDS CAME OVER,

AND WE READ SELF‐HELP BOOKS, AND GAVE EACH OTHER MANIS ‐‐

UGH, THIS STORY IS GOING ON WAY TOO LONG.

WAIT, SOMETHING FEELS DIFFERENT.

HI!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SO EARLY?

YEAH, YOU DIDN'T EVEN WAIT FOR ME TO WAKE YOU UP.

WELL, I HAD A LOT OF WORK TO DO, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO GET BEHIND.

YOU GUYS KNOW I DON'T LIKE TO GET BEHIND, DON'T YOU?

NO WE DON'T.NO WE DON'T.

WELL, I DON'T.

WELL, THAT NEVER MAKE YOU COME INTO WORK EARLY BEFORE.

RIGHT.

UNLESS...

YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING!

I AM NOT.

YOU GUYS KNOW I'M JUST ONE OF THOSE GUYS

WHO WANTS TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE, DON'T YOU?

NO.NO.

YOU KNOW WHY, SAM?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN THAT KIND OF GUY.

I AM OFFENDED!

WHAT?!

WHAT IS GOING ON?

NOTHING!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M STILL CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE UP TO SOMETHING.

I AM NOT! [ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

OH, I'LL GET IT.

NO, YOU WILL NOT! THAT'S MY DESK!

I'LL GET IT! MY DESK!

I GOT IT!

OW!

OH! YOU GOT IT.

[ Seductively ] HELLO?

OH, HELLO MR. MILLER.

AS IN THE OWNER, MR. MILLER?

[ Normal voice ] Y‐YES. OH! WELL, SURE. OKAY.

OH, YOU TALKED TO SAM EARLIER?

NO. WE'RE ALL HERE, THANK YOU.

YEAH, BUT SAM ACTUALLY STEPPED OUT ‐‐

YEAH, SAM'S RIGHT HERE!

I GOT HERE EARLY TODAY, SIR, AS I ALWAYS DO.

YES.

SURE. UH ‐‐

[ TELEPHONE CLICKS ]

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

[ LAUGHS ] VERY FUNNY, SIR.

THAT'S YOUR BEST JOKE YET.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OF COURSE WE'RE BEST FRIENDS.

SAM, HE HUNG UP ALREADY.

I KNOW, THAT'S MY FAVORITE CARDIGAN, TOO!

[ CHUCKLES ]

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT IS GOING ON?

NOTHING!

I KNEW THAT YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING.

WELL, WOULD SOMEBODY FILL ME IN, PLEASE?

THERE IS NOTHING TO FILL YOU IN ON.

YOU ARE SO LOW‐DOWN ‐‐

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FRIEND.

YEAH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIE‐‐ WHAT IS IT?

MR. MILLER CALLED TO SAY

THAT OUR IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR IS RETIRING,

AND HE LOVES TO PROMOTE FROM WITHIN, SO ‐‐

SO, IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE GETTING THE JOB.

HE SAID HE WANTS US ALL TO COME IN

FOR ONE‐ON‐ONE INTERVIEWS DOWN AT CORPORATE TODAY.

WOW, ME, TOO?!

YES, EVEN YOU.

LAST WEEK, I TOLD HIM HOW GREAT YOU ARE.

[ LAUGHS ] GREAT. THROW FUEL ON THE FIRE.

FIRST, WE'LL BE INTERVIEWED,

AND THEN HE'LL BE REVIEWING OUR JOB PERFORMANCES.

REVIEWING OUR JOB PERFORMANCES?

HE SAID THAT? I HAD NO IDEA.

SAM, HE SAID HE TALKED TO YOU YESTERDAY.

YOU KNEW THAT.

NO, I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.

I WOULD LOVE TO...

HO‐HAH, HY‐HYAH! ...IN HALF!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

NONE OF THIS MATTERS ANYMORE

BECAUSE EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THAT JOB IS MINE.

AND HOW IS THAT, MY LITTLE "DAWN OF THE DEAD" PRINCESS?

I HAVE BEEN WORKING HERE THE LONGEST,

I AM THE HARDEST WORKER, AND, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I HAVE THE BEST CUSTOMER RELATIONS.

WELL, SO...DO...I.

SHE SAID "CUSTOMER RELATIONS,"

NOT "RELATIONS WITH CUSTOMERS."

THANK YOU SO MUCH. COME AGAIN, NOW, OKAY?

[ SOBS ] PLEASE!

WELL, HI, FLOYD!

HI, MISS VIVIAN.

OOH, THIS PLACE LOOKS EMPTY, FLOYD.

THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

LINDA.

HEY, MISS VIVIAN.

IS MISS HATTIE AROUND?

NO. SHE WENT TO THE BANK.

WHAT ON EARTH FOR?

TO VISIT A TELLER.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, MISS VIVIAN?

I GOT YOUR RENT AND EVERYTHING FROM ALL THE TENANTS,

AND EVERYBODY PAID ON TIME THIS MONTH.

OH, WELL, GREAT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I CAME HERE, FLOYD.

MISS VIVIAN, LOOK, NOW! I'M NOT GONNA GO THERE WITH YOU!

I'M NOT CROSSING THE LINE EVER AGAIN!

WELL, I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, EITHER, THIS TIME.

OH.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

SORRY.

UM, SO, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, I WANT TO TALK TO MISS HATTIE.

I WANT US TO GO INTO BUSINESS TOGETHER.

LET ME GET THIS RIGHT.

YOU WANT TO GO INTO BUSINESS WITH MY MOTHER?

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'LL SAY?

BEFORE OR AFTER SHE STOPS CUSSING?

LOOK, I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH SEVERAL TOURING COMPANIES,

AND THEY'RE SCHEDULED TO START COMING IN THIS SATURDAY.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE ALL THAT BUSINESS.

TOUR BUSES?

MM‐HMM.

I HAVE CONTRACTS WITH SEVERAL TOURING COMPANIES.

OH, WOW. WE COULD REALLY USE THAT HERE.

IT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

AND I WILL SPLIT EVERYTHING

RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE WITH MISS HATTIE.

REALLY?

LINDA, WILL YOU TRY AND TALK HER INTO IT.

MISS VIVIAN, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FLY PUSH AN ELEPHANT?

NO.

WELL, IT'S GONNA BE JUST ABOUT THAT HARD

TO TRY TO GET HATTIE TO DO ANYTHING.

PLEASE.

[ Shuddering ] UHHH!

WE'LL TRY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

SEE YOU LATER. BYE!

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] B‐BYE.

SHE GOT TO BE CRAZY!

TALKING ABOUT GOING INTO BUSINESS WITH YOUR MAMA!

I THINK IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

WHAT?!

REALLY?!

YOUR MAMA AIN'T GONNA NEVER GO FOR IT.

WELL, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME CONVINCE HER.

SHE COULD MAKE A LOT OF MONEY, AND YOU COULD, TOO.

YOU'RE PART OWNER.

BUT I HAD TO KEEP THEM FROM KILLING EACH OTHER THE ‐‐

OH!

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA TELL HER.

AND THAT WAY, THEY CAN WORK TOGETHER

AND KILL EACH OTHER, AND I'LL GET ALL THE PROFITS.

UNCLE FLOYD...

HMM?

AND THAT'S WHEN I GOT MY SECOND MANI‐PEDI,

BUT I WANTED PURPLE ‐‐ I DON'T CARE!

HEY, DANNY, DREW.

HEY, UNCLE FLOYD.

MAMA, WE'RE HERE FOR LUNCH. HEY, BABY.

WELL, LOOK, WE'RE KIND OF BUSY RIGHT NOW.

SO, UH, I GUESS, UM, YOU CAN PROBABLY SIT

JUST ABOUT ANYWHERE, BUT SIT THERE.

AAH!

CHANGED MY MIND. THAT'S RESERVED.

RIGHT OVER THERE.

RIGHT OVER THERE.

SO, WHAT CAN I GET YOU, BABY?

[ Seductively ] I LIKE IT WHEN A MAN ORDERS FOR ME.

STOP IT.

CAN WE HAVE TWO HATTIE PATTIES, PLEASE?

FLOYD, LET ME GET TWO HATTIE PATTIES ‐‐ AND A BAT.

YOU KNOW, YOUR MOTHER REALLY OUGHT TO GET TO KNOW ME.

UGH! WILL YOU STOP IT?

YOU'RE SCARING ME WITH THAT...

[ Deep voice ] ...DRAG‐QUEEN VOICE.

[ Normal voice ] CAN YOU BELIEVE SAM WENT FIRST?

[ Normal voice ] WELL, WE'LL SEE IF HE GETS IT.

NO WAY. THAT JOB IS MINE.

NO OFFENSE.

[ CHUCKLING ]

YOU KNOW, LAUGH NOW, IF YOU WANT TO,

BUT YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING

WHEN YOU SEE THAT THAT PROMOTION IS MINE.

OH, WELL I JUST GOT A SHINING REVIEW.

ONE.

AND THAT'S NOT A REVIEW.

THAT'S A R‐‐

OKAY, SO IT'S LIKE THAT?

YEAH. IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF NOW.

OKAY. WELL, MAY THE BEST MAN WIN.

YEAH, WELL, IN THIS CASE, THE MAN IS A WO‐MAN.

WELL, IN THIS CASE, THE BEST MAN CAN TAKE THE WOMAN!

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

I MEAN, DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU GOT IT.

I...

DIDN'T GET IT.

OH, TOO BAD, SO BAD.

WE'LL LET YOU HAVE A SEAT, SAMMY BOY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT MEANS I GOT IT.

IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

THESE TWO ARE FIGHTING OVER A PROMOTION.

OH, BABY, YOU THINK YOU GOT IT?

NO!NO!

WELL, I THINK HE GOT IT.

WE'LL SEE.

IF I DIDN'T GET IT, NOBODY GOT IT.

I AM SO MAD!

WHY YOU KEEP YELLING ALL THAT FOR?

WE GOT PAYING CUSTOMERS IN HERE.

THERE'S NO ONE IN HERE.

Well, meet me in the back room.

Save me.

WHERE ARE ALL THE CUSTOMERS?!

DON'T LOOK AT ME.

THE LAST TWO WE HAD, THEY ASKED FOR A FULL REFUND.

AND THEY ORDERED WATER.

WE GONNA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

OR ELSE I'M GONNA HAVE TO LAY YOU OFF.

LAY OFF?!

YEAH!

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN WORKING WITH YOU, LINDA.

ME?!

YEAH. LOOK, TALK TO HER ABOUT EARLIER.

MAMA! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?

FLOYD.

GREAT.

AIN'T NO GREAT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

WELL, FLOYD DIDN'T TELL YOU?

UM, FLOYD DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TELL YOU.

TELL ME WHAT?

WELL, HATTIE, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.

WELL, I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES.

DIFFERENCES?! I CAN'T STAND YOU!

WELL, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

[ SCOFFS ]

WOULD YOU TWO BE INTERESTED IN GOING INTO BUSINESS WITH ME?

IT FELT LIKE SHE SLAPPED ME THEN.

I WOULD RATHER RIDE THROUGH HELL

WITH A BRA MADE OF GASOLINE,

A GIRDLE MADE OF SNAKES,

WITH HELLHOUNDS CHASING ME!

WELL, I TAKE IT THAT'S A NO.

AND DON'T ASK ME AGAIN.

HATTIE, I THINK THIS CAN HELP BOTH OF US.

I JUST WANT TO WORK WITH YOU.

THERE AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL I'M GONNA EVER WORK WITH YOU ‐‐

NOT NOW, NOT LATER, NOT NO TIME!

NEVER!

WELL [CHUCKLES] I GUESS THAT I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO

TELL THOSE TOUR BUSES TO TURN AROUND.

DID SHE SAY TOUR ‐‐ TOUR BUSES?

UH, DID YOU SAY, UH, UH, TOUR BUSES?

I HAVE A CONTRACT WITH SEVERAL TOURING COMPANIES,

WITH MY DINER.

BUT SINCE IT BURNED DOWN, I GUESS

I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO TURN HUNDREDS OF CUSTOMERS AWAY.

COME ON, HATTIE. THAT'S TOUR BUSES.

MONEY! I KNOW.

I TRIED TO GET THAT CONTRACT FROM THE TOURS COMPANY,

AND SHE BEAT ME TO IT.

WELL, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO GET IT BACK, MAMA.

WE NEED TO DO THIS.

THERE'S ONLY ONE PROBLEM WITH THAT.

WHAT IS IT?

I CAN'T STAND YOU!

[ CHUCKLES ]

MINOR DETAILS.

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY, HATTIE?

THE ONLY WAY I DO THAT

IS IF I CAN BUY YOU OUT IF I'M UNHAPPY.

DEAL!

I DON'T SHAKE HANDS. I'VE GOT FOOD TO COOK.

[ LAUGHS ]

WE'RE IN BUSINESS!

[ LAUGHING ]

OH.

THE FIRST THING I'M GOING TO DO IS PAINT THIS TACKY PLACE!

AND IF YOU BRING A PAINT BUCKET IN HERE,

THAT'S GONNA BE YOUR BUCKET LIST!

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO‐O‐O‐O‐O‐O...

YOU GOT IT!

NO. I DIDN'T GET IT.

YES!

I'M SURE DANNY WON'T GET IT.

OH, DON'T TELL ME. YOU GOT IT?

I AM GOING TO BE SO MAD IF YOU GOT IT.

[ CHUCKLING ]

NO, I DIDN'T GET IT.

THANK GOD. THANK GOD.

WELL, YOU TWO ARE GREAT FRIENDS!

SORRY. SORRY.

WAIT.

IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT, THEN WHO GOT IT?

THEY'RE SENDING SOMEONE DOWN FROM CHICAGO.

GREAT! A NEW BOSS?

WELL, BETTER GET TO THE GYM SO I CAN KEEP MY JOB.

WHAT DOES YOU GOING TO THE GYM

HAVE TO DO WITH KEEPING YOUR JOB?

ENDURANCE.

ENDURANCE FOR WHAT?

OH, YOU KNOW.

SAM, WHAT IF IT'S A MAN?

HEY!

I'M NOT PREJUDICED.

THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH HIM.

DEFINITELY.