Original subtitles

HEY, MAMA.

DON'T "HEY" ME.

WHAT'S WRONG TODAY?

WAS I A GOOD MOTHER TO YOU?

NO.

DIDN'T I TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER?

NO.

WELL, DIDN'T I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED?

NO!

MY DADDY DID ALL OF THOSE THINGS FOR ME.

WELL...HEY, DIDN'T I GIVE BIRTH TO YOU?

YOU TOLD ME I WAS ADOPTED.

WELL, I JUST SAID THOSE THINGS TO HURT YOU.

MAMA, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO HURT ME?

THE SAME WAY YOU HURT ME WHEN I GAVE LABOR

TO THAT BIG, OL' HEAD OF YOURS!

MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I WAS POPPING OUT A WATERMELON!

MAMA, WHAT IS IT?

YOUR SON IS IN MY LIVING ROOM ON MY SOFA

WITH HIS TOES SPREADED OUT!

YOU KNOW HE'S HAD A HARD TIME FINDING A JOB

SINCE HE GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.

OH, P. P., P. P., P. P., P. P.

P.P., P. P.

MAMA, GO USE THE BATHROOM.

A "P. P." MEANS A PERSONAL PROBLEM.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME

WHY HE IS ON MY SOFA

WHEN HE YOUR SON.

YOU KNOW ME AND LIONEL GOT A ONE‐BEDROOM

WHEN DANNY WENT OFF TO COLLEGE.

WE JUST DON'T HAVE ROOM FOR HIM.

AND WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT?

LIONEL'S. SO WE CAN SAVE MONEY.

I KNOW THERE WAS A REASON I DIDN'T LIKE HIM.

MAMA, HOW DID WE GET ON LIONEL?

HOW DID YOUR SON END UP ON MY SOFA?

LET HIM HAVE ONE OF THOSE BEDROOMS.

NO, UNH‐UNH, NO WAY. UNH‐UNH. UNH‐UNH.

IT'S JUST LIKE FEEDING A CAT.

IF YOU FEED THEM, THEY'LL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE.

WHERE'S HE SUPPOSED TO GO?

YOU GOT A CLOSET!

MAMA, MY SON IS NOT STAYING IN THE CLOSET.

YOUR BROTHER STAYED IN THE CLOSET FOR YEARS!

AND HE TURNED OUT JUST FINE.

AND YOUR SON WOULD BE JUST FINE

IN YOUR CLOSET AT YOUR HOUSE.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

GET OUT OF MY WAY! MOVE, NOW!

YOU BETTER GET THAT ASS UP.

[ SNORING ] OH. HE'S SLEEPING.

OH, HE ‐‐ HE'S TURNING OVER.

HE'S SO C‐U‐T‐E!

GIRL!

HE'S MY LITTLE B‐U‐N‐N‐Y.

HE ABOUT TO BE D. O. A.

Shh! I DON'T WANT HIM U‐P‐S‐E‐T.

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPELLING EVERYTHING?!

HE'S 24! NOW GET HIM UP!

FINE.

[ Gently ] BABY. GET UP.

GET UP, BABY. [ Singsong voice ] DANNY.

OH, THAT'S HOW YOU GONNA GET HIM UP?

BOY, IF YOU DON'T GET THE HELL UP,

I'M GONNA BUST YOU UPSIDE YOUR HEAD!

I‐I'M UP. I‐I'M UP.

SON, HOW ARE YOU?

"HOW ARE YOU?" WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

MAMA, I GOT THIS.

BABY, DO YOU HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TODAY?

NO.

WHY NOT?

'CAUSE I'M TIRED OF BEING REJECTED ALL THE TIME.

BABY, THAT'S A PART OF LIFE.

I GET REJECTED EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT.

BUT I MOVE RIGHT ON TO THE NEXT MAN.

GRANDMA, PLEASE.

LOOK, I KNOW REJECTION'S A PART OF LIFE,

BUT I STUDIED, AND I DID WELL IN SCHOOL.

I CAN'T FIND A JOB, AND IT'S NOT FAIR.

UH, PRECIOUS, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS NOT FAIR?

YOU SPRAWLING YOUR TOES ALL ACROSS MY TABLE.

IF ONE OF MY MEN COME UP THROUGH HERE

AND SEE YOU LAID OUT LIKE THAT,

IT'S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY.

Y‐YOU'RE GONNA FIND SOMETHING.

YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP THE FAITH.

AND UNTIL THEN...

[Sternly] YOUR FAMILY WILL BE HERE FOR YOU.

WHAT?!

YEAH, BABY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT TO KEEP THE FAITH AND EVERYTHING,

BUT THE BEST WAY TO KEEP THE FAITH

IS UP ON YOUR FEET.

NOW, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET UP AND HIT THE PAVEMENT.

AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

BABY, WHAT SHE MEANS IS,

YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY A LITTLE HARDER.

YEAH, PRECIOUS.

WHAT I REALLY MEAN IS IT'S TIME FOR YOU

TO GET THE HELL UP OUT OF MY HOUSE!

HEY, BABY.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?

I'M SORRY. I ‐‐

MAMA.

I DON'T KNOW HIM LIKE THAT.

HE AIN'T ONE OF MY MEN WHERE HE CAN JUST WALTZ IN HERE

WHEN HE GET READY.

NOW, YOU JUST TAKE YOUR TAIL RIGHT ON BACK OUT THIS HERE DOOR

AND KNOCK.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHO IS IT?

MAMA.

WHAT?! I DON'T LIKE HIM.

WELL, YOU NEED TO LEARN TO LIKE HIM.

WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR FOUR YEARS NOW.

AND HE BEEN NO GOOD ALL FOUR OF THEM YEARS.

STOP IT.

COME ON IN, BABY.

HEY, LOVER. [ CHUCKLES ]

SHE'S TALKING TO ME, FLOYD.

OKAY, OKAY.

HAD SHE SAID, "SATAN," THEN YOU WOULD HAVE ANSWERED.

THIS IS ALL COMING FROM BEELZEBUB.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, FLOYD?

I JUST CAME OVER HERE TO BRING YOU THE KEYS TO THE DINER

FROM WHEN I LOCKED UP LAST NIGHT. HERE.

OH, SO, YOU LOCKED EVERYTHING UP?

YEAH.

HERE.

WHAT YOU GIVING THEM BACK TO ME FOR?

I WANT YOU TO GO AND OPEN EVERYTHING BACK UP.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I GOT TO GO OVER TO MY OTHER JOB,

'CAUSE I GOT TO GO COLLECT RENT AND EVERYTHING, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY ME AND YOU IN BUSINESS TOGETHER!

BECAUSE YOU BROKE AS HELL AND YOU BEGGED ME.

PLUS, WE DON'T EVEN MAKE ENOUGH MONEY IN THE RESTAURANT

FOR ME TO EVEN QUIT MY JOB BEING A BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT.

I'LL SLEEP WITH YOU TO GET OUT THE CONTRACT.

THAT AIN'T NO GIFT! THAT'S ‐‐ THAT'S PUNISHMENT!

YOU TWO STOP IT.

HEY, BABY. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANSWERING YOUR CELLPHONE.

I'M SORRY. IT'S DEAD.

OH, WELL, I JUST CAME BY TO TELL YOU

THAT I HAVE TO WORK LATE TONIGHT.

YOU AN OLD LIAR!

YOU'RE GOING TO BE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!

MAMA!

I CAN SMELL A LIAR A MILE AWAY!

I'M SURE YOU CAN SMELL A LIAR A MILE AWAY

RIGHT UP UNDER THAT WIG.

LOOK HERE, LIONEL.

YOU PLAYING POKER WITH THE FELLAS TOMORROW NIGHT, RIGHT?

YES, FLOYD. AND BRING ALL YOUR MONEY.

I WILL.

AND HE WON'T, 'CAUSE HE'S BROKE.

UH...OH, NO. WHY Y'ALL ARE SITTING DOWN?

COME ON. I GOT TO GO OPEN UP THE DINER.

OKAY. I'LL LOCK THE DOOR FOR YOU.

OH, NO, MA'AM.

WHEN I LEAVE MY HOUSE, EVERYBODY LEAVES MY HOUSE!

MAMA HATTIE, I CAN'T GO OUT LOOKING FOR A JOB LIKE THIS.

OH, WELL, LET ME HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT SOME, BABY.

I GOT A SUGGESTION FOR YOU.

YES, SIR. I GOT A SUGGESTION FOR YOU, PRECIOUS.

MAMA HATTIE!

WHAT?

HERE. GO OUTSIDE, WASH UP, GET THAT WATER HOSE.

BETTER YET, GET THE NEIGHBOR'S WATER HOSE,

SAVE ME MY MONEY...

AND LET'S GET THE HELL UP OUT OF HERE.

EVERYBODY MOVE.

GRANDMA! WHAT YOU DOING?

COME ON. COME ON.

GRANDMA, I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY SHOES ON!

OH, WELL, GOOD.

NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT,

LIKE I WAS WITH YOUR MAMA.

LET'S GO.

LET'S RIDE.

[ DOOR LOCKS ]

UH, EXCUSE ME.

DID YOU JUST COME OUT OF THIS APARTMENT HERE?

[ High‐pitched ] YES.

IS SAM IN THERE?

NO.

HE AIN'T THERE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING.

A LOT OF HOT AND SEXY WOMEN COME OUT OF THIS DOOR HERE.

ARE YOU ONE OF THEM?

UH...NO...SPEAKING... ENGLISH?

SAM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS GETUP, MAN?

I SORRY?

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ Normal voice ] I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE BRINGING BACK A LOT OF BAD MEMORIES FOR ME, MAN.

DON'T DO THIS.

IT WAS DARK.

I DIDN'T SEE THE ADAM'S APPLE!

TMI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS GETUP, MAN, HUH?

I MEAN, REALLY, ARE YOU ‐‐ YOU INTO THIS SORT OF THING?

IF I SAY YES, WILL YOU NOT ASK ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

I GET IT.

RENT, PLEASE.

OKAY, OKAY. I'M GOING TO GET THE RENT.

I DON'T OWN THIS BUILDING, SAM.

FLOYD, STALL HER FOR ME. COME ON, MAN!

YOU'RE A SUPERHERO.

TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM.

HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

I'D RATHER SLEEP WITH A WALRUS.

GET MY RENT TODAY.

I WILL. I WILL.

YOU BETTER. [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

I WILL. I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

[ High‐pitched ] I'LL HAVE IT WHEN I GET HOME.

[ BLOWS KISS ]

HEY, FLOYD.

OH, WAS THAT SAM?

[ Shivering ] YEAH.

DON'T EVEN ASK.

UM... RENT, PLEASE?

OH. [ CHUCKLES LIGHTLY ]

HERE IS MY HALF OF THE RENT.

CRYSTAL HAS THE OTHER HALF.

WELL, WHERE IS SHE?

IN THE APARTMENT.

GO ON IN.

COOL.

HEY, CRYSTAL.

DREW TOLD ME I COULD GET THE OTHER HALF ‐‐

HEY, FLOYD.

WHATCHA DOING HERE?

HEY.

CAME TO GET THE...

OTHER HALF OF THE RENT.

WELL, I'LL GET IT TO YOU LATER.

UH, N‐NO.

I THINK I‐I‐I COULD GET A CHECK FROM YOU NOW.

THAT'D BE NICE.

OH, WELL, FLOYD, THIS IS THIS LIONEL.

HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.

REALLY?

MM‐HMM. HE'S SO SWEET.

WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR, LIKE, TWO MONTHS.

IS THAT RIGHT?

LET ME GO WRITE THE CHECK. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU DO THAT.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

WHY, YOU DIRTY S‐‐

FLOYD, FLOYD, FLOYD, MAN, LET ME EXPLAIN.

THIS AIN'T EVEN WHAT IT ‐‐ LOOK HERE, DUDE.

YOU GOT A WIFE THAT ADORES YOU

AND YOU'RE SITTING UP IN HERE WITH THIS LITTLE GIRL.

OH, SHE'S ‐‐ SHE'S GROWN.

FLOYD, COME ON, FL‐‐

YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER!

COME ON, MAN. WE'RE MEN, MAN!

COME ON.

WE CAN ALL USE A LITTLE SPICINESS IN OUR LIVES.

YOU'RE WRONG, MAN.

COME ON, FLOYD. FLOYD. FLOYD. WHAT?

YOU AIN'T GONNA TELL LINDA, ARE YOU?

NO, I AIN'T GONNA TELL HER.

GOOD MAN. YOU'RE A GOOD MAN!

MM‐HMM. UNH‐UNH.

NOT ONLY AM I A GOOD MAN, I'M A GREAT MAN.

YES. GREAT MAN.

YOU'RE GONNA KEEP MY SECRET FOR ME.

MM‐HMM.

GREAT ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU TILL THE END OF THE BUSINESS DAY

TO TELL HER YOURSELF.

I'M SORRY, BUT SAY WHAT?

COME ‐‐ F‐‐ COME ON, MAN!

I LOOK OUT FOR THESE YOUNG LADIES

IN THIS BUILDING, ALL RIGHT?

SIR, YOU ARE WRONG.

FLOYD, I'M ALL OUT OF CHECKS.

I'LL BRING IT TO YOU AT THE DINER.

OH, OKAY.

TODAY.

YES, TODAY.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, LOOK HERE.

I'LL MAKE SURE I GIVE YOU TO TILL THE END

OF THE BUSINESS DAY TO BRING IT.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, CRYSTAL...

I BELIEVE YOU'RE NOW OUT OF BUSINESS.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

UH, WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

Sam: DANNY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.

I'M NOT HOME.

Drew: OPEN THE DOOR, DANNY!

FINE!

GET UP!

IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON.

[ Chuckling ] THIS IS SO PATHETIC.

I WAS UP.

MY GRANDMA THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE THIS MORNING

AND I HAD TO CRAWL IN THROUGH THE BASEMENT WINDOW

JUST TO GET BACK IN.

THEN I HAVE TO LEAVE BEFORE SHE COMES HOME

OR SHE'LL KILL ME.

BREAKING INTO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE ‐‐

TSK, TSK, TSK, TSK.

DID YOU EVER THINK THIS IS WHAT YOUR LIFE WOULD BE REDUCED TO

ONCE YOU GRADUATED COLLEGE?

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU'RE LIKE AN EX‐PRO BALL PLAYER.

GREAT. JUST KICK ME WHILE I'M DOWN.

OKAY.

HEY. DON'T YOU DARE.

LISTEN. WE CAME HERE ON OUR LUNCH BREAK FOR A REASON.

WE HAVE REALLY GOOD NEWS.

WHAT IS IT?

[ Laughing ] ONE OF OUR COLLEAGUES GOT FIRED.

[ LAUGHS ]

HE WAS SNIFFLING AND CRYING AND MOANING AND GROANING.

HE LEFT THE BUILDING ABOUT,

"OH! I'M NOT GONNA PAY MY MORTGAGE!"

MY KIDS CAN'T GO TO COLLEGE! I CAN'T FEED MY FAMILY!"

[ MUMBLING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

WELL, THERE'S A JOB OPENING.

REALLY?

YEAH.

I DON'T THINK SO. WHAT?

I CAN'T GO THROUGH ANOTHER REJECTION.

LOOK, IT WAS REALLY HARD GETTING YOU THIS INTERVIEW.

RIGHT. WE ‐‐ WE HAD TO PULL SOME MAJOR STRINGS.

NOT TO MENTION ALL THE BEGGING I HAD TO DO.

YOUR BOSS MUST BE A WOMAN.

[ Slowly ] YES, SHE IS.

WHAT A PERV.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

SHUT UP!

DANNY, PLEASE. YOU HAVE TO COME.

OKAY, FINE.

BUT IF I DON'T GET THIS JOB, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

ACCORDING TO MY L3 AND L4, YOU'LL GET IT.

COME ON. LET'S GO.

SLOW DOWN, TURBO. [ CHUCKLES ]

YOU'RE NOT GOING LIKE THIS.

YEAH, I AM.

NO, YOU NEED TO MARCH RIGHT UP THERE

AND PUT ON A SUIT, BOO BOO.

PUT ON A SUIT. A SUIT.

YEAH!

SOMETHING TIGHT AND LOW CUT.

WHAT? SEX SELLS.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

NOTHING!

FLOYD!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

NOTHING! I JUST HATE BEING PUT IN THIS POSITION.

IF YOU KEEP SLAMMING DOWN MY GOOD POTS AND PANS,

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN A POSITION SIX FEET UNDER.

NOW, IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY?

YES!

NO. I CAN'T.

THEN DON'T.

YOU'RE GONNA GIVE UP THAT EASY?

FLOYD, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR FOOLISHNESS.

WELL, LOOK, YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHING.

I WON'T!

I WENT OVER TO ONE OF MY TENANTS' APARTMENT

AND LIONEL WAS IN THERE,

AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THEY'RE DATING ‐‐

THIS YOUNG GIRL.

MM‐HMM. AND, LOOK, YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING,

'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU START TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY

THAT SOMEBODY LOVES,

THEY START ACTING FUNNY.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND KEEP ON TALKING.

I WON'T SAY ANYTHING.

YOU NEED TO CALL HER OVER HERE.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

SHE'S ON HER WAY OVER HERE

'CAUSE SHE'S GOT TO BRING ME HER RENT CHECK.

OH, WELL, GOOD, 'CAUSE LINDA JUST WENT TO AN ERRAND FOR ME,

AND SHE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OOH. I LOVE A GREAT SETUP.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ GRUNTS ]

OH. LOOKY HERE. THE MIRACLE HAS BEGUN.

[ LAUGHS ] LOOK WHO'S HERE, FLOYD.

FLOYD.

SATAN.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU, MAN.

NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK TO ME, BROTHER.

YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR WIFE AND THAT GIRL.

DUDE.

YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER DADDY.

FLOYD, I JUST NEED YOU TO KEEP THIS SECRET FOR ME, MAN.

JUST KEEP IT DOWN INSIDE.

NO.

I'M GONNA TELL HER, AND IF YOU DON'T, I WILL.

MAMA, STOP IT.

HEY, BABY. HEY.

TELL WHO WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

LIONEL ONLY CHEATING WITH A WOMAN

THAT LIVES IN FLOYD'S BUILDING

THAT'S HALF YOUR AGE AND HALF YOUR SIZE.

HATTIE, YOU CAN'T HOLD WATER.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, I GOT TO PEE!

MNH‐MNH. YOU'RE GONNA STAY.

LIONEL...WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

IS THIS TRUE?

BABY...

WHO YOU GONNA BELIEVE? ME OR YOUR MAMA?

HEY, MR. FLOYD.

HERE'S YOUR CHECK. THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR GIVING IT TO ME, BABY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

LIONEL.

WHO'S THIS?

HIS WIFE.

WIFE?!

YEAH. HE LIKED IT, SO HE PUT A RING ON IT.

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS MARRIED.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE LOW‐DOWN.

DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME AGAIN.

OKAY.

WOW. I REALLY THOUGHT YOU CHANGED.

BABY, I HAVE.

LIONEL, IT'S OVER.

BABY.

IT'S OVER.

I'LL BE BY TO GET MY THINGS TONIGHT.

UNH‐UNH! BABY, WAIT A MINUTE, NOW.

YOU'RE GOING TO PICK UP YOUR THINGS?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GONNA MOVE BACK IN WITH YOU.

OH, NO! UNH‐UNH! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

HE ONLY CHEATED ONE TIME!

FOUR.

AND I TOLD HIM IF HE DID IT AGAIN, IT WAS OVER.

OH, NO, BABY!

YOU GOT TO GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!

HE'S A GOOD MAN, AIN'T HE, FLOYD?

TELL HER! HE A GOOD MAN, AIN'T HE, FLOYD?

NO!

HE REALLY IS A GOOD MAN.

BABY, YOU AIN'T GOT NO JOB, SO HE TAKES CARE OF YOU.

THAT'S SOMETHING WE MIGHT WANT TO THINK ABOUT.

MAMA, I'M MOVING BACK HOME.

THIS IS DEVASTATING TO ME.

THIS SURE IS DEVASTATING TO ME, TOO.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WE CLOSED!

GRANDMA, OPEN THE DOOR. IT'S ME.

WHAT YOU WANT?

I GOT GOOD NEWS.

IS IT ATTACHED TO A PAYCHECK EVERY WEEK?

YES.

YOU'RE WELCOME HERE ANY TIME.

[ LAUGHS ] YES, SIR!

GUESS WHAT. WHAT?

I GOT A JOB!

OOH! [ LAUGHS ]

[ Voice breaking ] THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S GREAT.

THAT'S JUST REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GREAT.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD THING.

BABY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER. SHE'S ON THAT STUFF.

UH, WHEN YOU GET YOUR FIRST CHECK?

'CAUSE I WANT SOME OF MY DAMN MONEY BACK.