Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
0
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Greetings from Martin's Comedy Movies
1
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,712
Hey, take it easy will ya!
2
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,380
Hey, who's the big birthday girl, huh?
3
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,465
- Me!
- Oh boy, hey how old are you?
4
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:50,758
I'm this!
5
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,927
Well call me when you're this, okay.
6
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,303
All right here we go now.
7
00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,180
You got it straight, okay?
Hold it there.
8
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,100
Hey, beautiful, beautiful! Okay!
9
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,487
Hey, what happened here?
What's the matter, huh?
10
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,282
Johnny hit me. He don't like me anymore.
11
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:17,577
Oh, I know what you're
goin' through, ya know.
12
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,079
You gave him the best three
months of your life, huh?
13
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,457
Then he left you for a pail and shovel.
14
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,418
What do you see in him, anyway?
What are you in love with?
15
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:30,673
He's not in your class. He's afraid
of the dark. He wets his pants.
16
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,927
When he eats, he gets food all
over his face. He's a mama's boy.
17
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,929
What are you, in nursery school now?
18
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,348
I guarantee you, by the time
you get to kindergarten,
19
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,934
you'll forget all about him, okay?
20
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:45,730
Hey, look who's here!
Show time! Bobby Bunny, huh?
21
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,986
Here we go, kids, let's go here.
Bobby Bunny's here...
22
00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,031
- What's that?
- Oh, nothing, nothing.
23
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,969
Bobby Bunny just dropped
a few carrots, that's all.
24
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,944
Well, let's go over today's schedule.
25
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,197
It is exactly 6:33.
26
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,242
It is exactly 6:34.
27
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,327
At 7:00, we're meeting with the
28
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:31,205
head of the furniture department
regarding inventory.
29
00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,375
Postpone the meeting.
Double-check the inventory,
30
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,585
and fire the cleaning staff.
31
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,088
7:20, you will crush the hopes
of the loading dock workers
32
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,173
regarding better working conditions.
33
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,175
Cancel the meeting,
and send out a memorandum
34
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,678
that the working conditions
at the loading dock
35
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,764
will remain as they have for
the past 35 years.
36
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,099
Mm-hmm.
37
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,184
At 7:30, we'll be meeting
with the accountants
38
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,104
regarding donations and
charitable contributions.
39
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,399
Cancel that meeting,
and cancel my check to Boy's Town.
40
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,235
What time is Scrappleton coming?
41
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:05,114
Uh, 7:50, with the legal
papers you requested.
42
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:09,243
As soon as you finish with Scrappleton,
we leave for New Dorp, Staten Island
43
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,996
to attend your granddaughter
Allison's wedding.
44
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,249
Well, I hope she's made a better choice
45
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,293
than her mother did!
46
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,129
Jesus! Rose!
47
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,716
How did you talk me into this?
48
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,845
You should use Allison.
She's the one who has to wear it.
49
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:31,349
It's unlucky for the bride to wear
her gown before the wedding day.
50
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,434
How unlucky can she get,
look who she's marrying.
51
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,353
Come on dear,
you shouldn't talk like that.
52
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,855
Julio's a good boy.
Come on, Rose, will ya?
53
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,941
See the guy for what he is.
He belongs to a gang.
54
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,861
It's a good boy's gang.
They help people.
55
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,907
- Ooh, take it easy, will ya?
- Oh, I'm sorry. Where'd I get you?
56
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,534
If I show you where you got me
we'll never get outta here.
57
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,495
All right, hold still.
I've gotta finish this.
58
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,623
You gotta pick up the cake,
and mother will be here soon.
59
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,376
Your mother.
60
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,254
I gotta go to the john.
Monty! Oh, the dress!
61
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,883
- No, you're wonderful.
- Allison, I need the phone.
62
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,719
- I'm in here!
- Come on, get outta there!
63
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,889
- Get off, will ya?
- I am so hung up on you.
64
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,892
Good idea. I'll see you in church.
65
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:15,851
Daddy!
66
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,895
Don't worry, you won't
lose him, all right.
67
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,730
Belinda, let's go.
68
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,401
Someday I'll be out of your life.
69
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,986
Yeah, right now get outta
the bathroom, all right.
70
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,963
The best thing about having daughters.
71
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,647
Nicky boy, it's Monty.
72
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,109
Close the door.
73
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,654
Yeah?
74
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,865
Nicky, Rose's mother,
she's on her way over.
75
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,868
So? What do you want from me?
76
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,203
I need the truck.
I gotta pick up the wedding cake.
77
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,997
What am I supposed to be, Allied Vans?
78
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,999
You really know how to push
a friendship, you know?
79
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,084
When's the last time
you did something for me?
80
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:23,961
Hey Monty you got a
short memory, you know?
81
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,504
Who drove all the way
down to Atlantic City
82
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,339
to bail you out when you owed $400?
83
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,467
At Belmont, you had
four losers in a row.
84
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,843
Who gave you the winner in the fifth?
85
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,970
The cake's for your godchild,
you ungrateful bastard you!
86
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,056
All right, all right.
Give me a chance. I'm comin'.
87
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,988
- Where's my stuff?
- By the front door. What's the rush?
88
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,282
I gotta go to work.
I got a wedding to pay for.
89
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,034
Don't forget the cake.
90
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,824
How many years you know me?
Did I ever forget anything?
91
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,624
Nicky, just in time. Beautiful!
92
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,419
I don't wanna see her fucking... mother!
93
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,717
- Was it Nicky?
- No, no. It's not Nicky. No.
94
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,846
- Oh, it's mother!
- Leave him, dear.
95
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,140
Just simply walk out on him.
96
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,727
His entire body is bloodshot.
He'll never change.
97
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,146
Nice to see you too.
98
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,607
It's gonna be so much
fun having everyone here.
99
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,692
Yeah, a lot of fun, a lot of fun.
100
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,861
Well, if it isn't my favorite relative.
101
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,072
Oh, don't start that bullshit, all right.
102
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,866
Monty, please bring
mother's luggage upstairs.
103
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,746
- Well what's Clive, a footstool?
- No, no, Monty, let me get this.
104
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:47,169
- How can you stand him?
- You've gotta get to know him.
105
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,630
The wedding is gonna be wonderful.
106
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,966
We never get to see you.
107
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,593
The store takes up all my time.
108
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,806
Mother, why do you push
yourself so hard?
109
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,558
The money doesn't matter.
110
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,687
When your father was alive,
he ran Monahan's like a tyrant.
111
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,689
He paid the help next to nothing.
112
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,733
- He drove them like sled dogs.
- Wonderful man.
113
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:14,113
Wonderful! Now that he's gone,
I carry on his work.
114
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,739
Rose,
115
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:20,744
I don't know how you can
live with that man.
116
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,247
We're happy just the way we are.
117
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,293
Happy? Yeah, we were
until a few minutes ago.
118
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,212
And we don't want a dime from you.
You understand?
119
00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,755
No offense.
120
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,342
No offense?
121
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,136
No offense?
122
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,722
You are an offense!
123
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,725
Why, you can barely walk erect.
124
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,353
You pollute the air with your smoking.
125
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,731
You reek of liquor and
God knows what else.
126
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,274
You're an ecological menace!
127
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,693
Yeah, well you were the
inspiration for twin beds.
128
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,486
And I'll tell you something else...
129
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,196
Monty, don't start with mother.
130
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,198
I'm not startin' nothin'.
It never ended.
131
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,785
And to think of who you could
have married. Pat Flannigan.
132
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:02,828
Do me a favor, will ya,
133
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,289
don't start throwing up the
guys she could've married.
134
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,999
He started out as a bricklayer.
135
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,668
Now he owns his own
construction company.
136
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,254
And what about Tom O'Rourke?
He started as a busboy.
137
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,673
Today he has his own restaurant.
138
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,761
Oh, yeah, I started out as a baby.
Today I'm a baby photographer.
139
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,137
I'll see you later.
140
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,307
And I'm sure you're gonna
talk about me when I'm gone.
141
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,988
Where do you live, in Vermont?
What took you so long?
142
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,543
Why do you let her mother get to you?
143
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,796
Forget about her, will ya?
144
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,049
She never wanted Rose
to marry me. Never.
145
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,555
She says I drink too much,
I smoke too much, I gamble.
146
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,641
She's right, but what am I gonna do?
147
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,059
I can't control myself.
148
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:10,354
I got no, uh, what's the word
I'm looking for, I got no...
149
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,480
Class.
150
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,108
Nah, we know I got class, no.
151
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,901
It's a certain word I'm looking' for.
152
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,529
What's the word for someone
who can't say "no"?
153
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,073
- Sonya.
- Not Sonya. No, not Sonya.
154
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,158
No, I got no...
155
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,953
Willpower! That's the word
I'm lookin' for.
156
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,122
Willpower, I got no willpower.
That's what it is.
157
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,540
Yeah, willpower.
158
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,084
Make a left on Elm. I got a quick shoot.
159
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,086
What shoot? You didn't say
anything about a shoot.
160
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,588
Leave me alone. I got enough
problems. Just take a left on Elm.
161
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,091
I got a quick shoot. I'll be quick.
You can help me, all right.
162
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,634
Oh, I can help you. Well, thanks.
163
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,220
You really think I got no class?
164
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,514
No, I don't think you got no class.
165
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:49,518
I'm gonna be sad. Mmmmm.
Very good, okay!
166
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:52,224
Now, I'm gonna be a monster.
Watch this, okay.
167
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,399
Now the big one. Okay, the big one.
168
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,151
Can you be happy?
169
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,154
That's a good one! Okay, be happy.
170
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,656
Okay, here we are. Smile pretty.
171
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,950
Beautiful! There we go, we got it.
172
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,126
The other door. The other door!
173
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,128
- I got it, I got it.
- The other door!
174
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:31,101
- Get outta here.
- Oooh! Oh!
175
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,233
The cake, the cake!
176
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,867
- Watch out for the top.
- I'm watching, I'm watching.
177
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,370
It's not gonna slide
around in there, is it?
178
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,456
No, I got it wedged against a toilet.
179
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,549
This is just great.
My favorite system a lock.
180
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,676
And I got Monty in the truck
with a wedding cake.
181
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,762
I gotta pick up my mother,
take her to the beauty parlor.
182
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,599
- What's the tip?
- Big Boy in the fifth.
183
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,685
Forget it! The fifth goes off at 3:00.
184
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:17,689
- We goin' to the track?
- I can't go. I got a bar to run.
185
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,233
This here's a sure thing.
186
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,236
- It's forty to one.
- Hey!
187
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,614
- Wake up, we're closing up.
- I didn't finish my drink yet.
188
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,243
You're finished now. Get outta here.
Here's your dollar.
189
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:36,625
Come on, come on will ya.
We've got five minutes to post.
190
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,092
Hey! Get the hell out of there!
191
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,011
Slow down, will ya, slow down.
They're kids.
192
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,682
Nicky, take care of it.
193
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,090
What're you doing?
194
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,822
Sixty seconds to post time.
195
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,784
Are you gonna place a bet or what?
196
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:15,414
Oh, yes, yes. I'd like the
number seven horse please.
197
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,875
Thirty seconds to post time.
198
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:23,380
I'd like to put two dollars to win,
and two dollars to place
199
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,384
- and two dollars to show.
- Okay, buddy, good luck.
200
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:32,389
The next time you bet,
remember, instead of saying
201
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,516
two dollars to win,
two dollars to place,
202
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,895
two dollars to show, just say,
"two across the board."
203
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,106
- Gee, you mean instead of saying...
- What are you buyin', a house?
204
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,399
Two dollars to place...
205
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,902
Let's go while we're young.
206
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,904
We're gonna get shut out!
207
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,364
Yes, I have a friend
that wants to bet the
208
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,991
number seven horse.
209
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,078
Number six horse. Six horse.
210
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,080
No more bets.
211
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,335
And they're off!
212
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:09,009
Nicky, come on. We're goin' to the rail.
213
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,429
Big Boy making up lots
of ground on the outside,
214
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,723
moving to the fourth spot.
215
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,935
Here comes Big Boy with a rush
on the extreme outside.
216
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,312
How's he doin'? How's he doin'?
217
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,231
- Gettin' farther ahead all the time.
- Gimme those things.
218
00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,235
Five lengths ahead!
219
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,363
Fifty bucks at forty to one!
220
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,616
That's two grand apiece!
Two grand apiece!
221
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,747
You dragged me out here,
you bastards, I love ya, I love ya!
222
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,876
That's two grand apiece! Two G's!
223
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,807
I'm goin' to Hawaii!
I'm goin' to Hawaii!
224
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,935
- He's fallin' back.
- I'm not goin' to Hawaii!
225
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,648
He's too far ahead to lose.
226
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,367
Look at him!
He thinks he's water skiing!
227
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,205
- We were in. What happened?
- Yeah, there's our winner.
228
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,625
I closed my bar! Get outta here!
229
00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,628
I'll kill you.
230
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:29,131
I'll kill you, Bosco!
231
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,134
I'll kill him. I'll kill you!
232
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:35,721
There was supposed to be a fix. Crooks!
233
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:39,099
I was gonna buy a new neon sign.
234
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,522
Yeah, that's it. Step on his face!
235
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,882
That son of a bitch!
236
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,494
Go get him, Nicky!
237
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,581
My bridesmaids' dresses are lime green.
238
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,084
And my maid of honor
is wearing lime green.
239
00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,754
The maid of honor's dress should
always be in contrast
240
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:09,796
to the bridesmaids.
241
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:14,176
This is, um, delicious!
What do you call it?
242
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,302
Chicken!
243
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,929
I know it's chicken, dear,
but what kind?
244
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,306
There's Kiev, there's Florentine...
245
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,808
Shake & bake!
246
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,810
Mother, I'm glad you could come.
247
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,813
I've always been sorry
you missed my wedding.
248
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,607
You know I couldn't go to your wedding.
249
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:29,816
That's cause Daddy was there.
250
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,194
Where is your father tonight, dear?
251
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,528
He's taking baby pictures.
252
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:38,408
Ha! What kind of a baby is it
that's still up at 9 at night?
253
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,839
Sweetheart, watch out for this guy.
254
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,842
He'll buy you a bottle of beer,
and squeeze the "schlitz" outta ya.
255
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,677
Who is this guy?
256
00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,347
He's my friend. Don't worry about him.
257
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,351
Excuse me, miss. I don't mean
to interrupt while you're working.
258
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,105
I was wondering if you could
come over to the house
259
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,358
Sunday for dinner and meet my mother?
260
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,860
- Do you wanna go home?
- He's kiddin' around.
261
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,364
Excuse me, pal. You got a problem here?
This is my friend.
262
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,908
- Who are you?
- Who am I?
263
00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,827
I'm the guy that put
the bathrooms in this joint.
264
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:22,619
That's who I am.
265
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,663
Now I know why the place
stinks, okay, pal?
266
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,168
Break it up, will ya? What's the matter?
267
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,673
Take it easy, will ya?
268
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,969
- Ma?
- Hmm?
269
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,388
Am I pretty?
270
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,974
Oh, you're beautiful, sweetheart.
271
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,393
Julio's a very lucky boy.
272
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,896
I wanna make him happy.
273
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,898
But there's so much I don't know.
274
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,402
- Like what?
- Like about, you know.
275
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,488
- I know what?
- You know!
276
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,950
Oh, that.
277
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,452
Didn't your father tell you
everything you need to know?
278
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,956
He keeps starting,
but he never finishes.
279
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,625
What do you wanna know?
280
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,005
Foreplay. Have you
ever heard of foreplay?
281
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,924
No, not with your father.
282
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,927
It's nice we can have
these little talks.
283
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,679
Let's go help Belinda pour the coffee.
284
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,430
Wait, Mom.
285
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,515
How did you know that
you really loved Daddy?
286
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,519
We were at Coney Island
on the ferris wheel.
287
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,938
We got caught at the top.
288
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,024
Later on, I found out
289
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,944
he paid the man a dollar
to stop the ride.
290
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,447
Your father said things to me
291
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,534
that were so sweet, so romantic.
292
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:49,539
I said to myself,
"Here's a sensitive man."
293
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,209
Just once, a fuckin' four!
294
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,212
Four! Got a four!
295
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,214
Gimme the dice, I'm hot. Gimme the dice.
296
00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,217
Hold it, hold it! You won, right?
297
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,719
We're ahead.
We can leave winners right now.
298
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,221
Okay, so we go. Let's go.
299
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,224
Double or nothin'. Come on, here we go.
300
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,310
Oh, Monty!
301
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,791
You did it again, huh?
302
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,836
We were winners.
We could've walked away.
303
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,674
That's how I am.
Once I get goin', I can't stop.
304
00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:54,354
Come on. Forget about it.
It's history. Let's go.
305
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:03,280
Good stuff. It oughta be.
I got it off a cop.
306
00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:07,450
- I'm starvin'.
- Let's go to Lucky's. He's open late.
307
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,258
He's closed.
308
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,386
Come on, Pop's inside. He'll let us in.
309
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,818
Pop's last dish.
310
00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,778
We're drivin' a half hour.
311
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:46,197
The closest we came to food,
we almost hit a deer.
312
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,991
Hey, there's a place.
313
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,048
I'm so hungry, I could eat the waitress.
314
00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:21,441
No, no! No! It's wrong.
Nicky, it's wrong.
315
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,361
- I just wanna see what...
- It's wrong!
316
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,865
It's wedding cake flavor.
I love wedding cake.
317
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,784
Why don't you get married?
318
00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,997
Let me just lick the bride.
319
00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,875
That's my daughter!
320
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:42,921
It's a little plastic thing.
It's not your daughter.
321
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,885
Only one little flower each.
322
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,888
There's a lot of little flowers.
Nobody will know the difference.
323
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,391
Forget about it. Let's get outta here.
324
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,976
And don't drive fast. You're drunk.
325
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,979
Don't worry about it.
I drive better when I'm drunk.
326
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,404
You got a weird sense of humor.
You know that?
327
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,781
You laugh at everything.
Weather reports, car chase.
328
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,449
You laugh at everything.
329
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:13,952
Keep it straight, will ya?
You're swerving all over the place.
330
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:16,830
I'm goin' straight.
I'm on the yellow line, I told ya.
331
00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:19,165
Move over to one side.
The other side! What are ya doin?
332
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,543
You're on the other side! Get over here!
333
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,670
- Keep to the right!
- Get your hands off the wheel!
334
00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,338
Nicky look out!
335
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,912
My head! I hit my head!
336
00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:36,141
What's so funny?
Everything's funny to you.
337
00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,058
You laugh and laugh.
338
00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,561
Watch the road, will ya?
Will you watch the road?
339
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:44,607
I lost my joint. Where's my joint?
340
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,418
Just watch the road, asshole.
341
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,197
Move the car, Nicky, the car!
342
00:25:13,921 --> 00:25:15,805
You got some aspirin?
343
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,829
I'm sorry. It was an emergency.
344
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,944
- You sure this is a good idea?
- Daddy.
345
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,446
Isn't she beautiful?
346
00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:17,033
Yeah, but who's that with her?
347
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:22,330
What do you see in this guy?
348
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:25,291
He has everything I ever wanted.
349
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,252
You don't ask for much, do you?
350
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:30,296
Did your mother tell you
everything you need to know?
351
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:31,965
She taught me how to fry bananas.
352
00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:33,049
Oh, beautiful!
353
00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:36,386
You'll end up working
in a Spanish restaurant.
354
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,355
You're not pregnant, are you?
355
00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:50,066
Daddy! The way you brought me up?
356
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:51,859
All right.
357
00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:10,044
Welcome, Allison. Welcome, Julio.
358
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:21,306
Julio Vidal O'Campo,
will you have Allison
359
00:27:22,725 --> 00:27:26,060
Juliana Capuletti, to be your wife,
360
00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:28,813
to live together in the
covenant of marriage?
361
00:27:29,023 --> 00:27:30,648
Shhh!
362
00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:34,277
Will you love her, comfort her,
honor her and keep her
363
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,779
in sickness and in health,
364
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,532
and foresaking all others,
be faithful to her
365
00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:41,284
for as long as you both shall live?
366
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:42,827
I do.
367
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:47,248
Where's your father?
He's directing traffic.
368
00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:51,252
Please, let's go. Get outta here.
Come on, towards me.
369
00:27:51,462 --> 00:27:56,758
Back up, back up!
Turn the wheel to the right. The wheel!
370
00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,676
Where're you goin',
what's happening here?
371
00:27:58,886 --> 00:27:59,761
We gotta get outta here.
372
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:03,348
Hold it, will ya, he ain't goin' nowhere.
What's your problem?
373
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:17,153
Hey!
374
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,155
Whoo!
375
00:28:19,406 --> 00:28:20,615
Hey!
376
00:28:24,328 --> 00:28:25,662
Whoo!
377
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:35,213
Why didn't he fix the walk?
It's been this way for months!
378
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,459
Why can't you make everybody happy
and shake hands with this kid?
379
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,461
- Not me.
- Shake hands with him.
380
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,547
Go ahead.
381
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:21,217
Look at him, look at him.
382
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,553
If I look at him, I won't shake hands!
383
00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:26,013
Look at him. Go ahead.
384
00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,727
Now look, Julio.
We're family now, all right?
385
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:33,730
Just do the right thing.
Make Allison happy.
386
00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:35,690
She's a great girl.
387
00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:39,318
I know, I lived with her for 18 years.
388
00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:42,363
Can I call you dad?
389
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:48,828
Oh, it's wonderful to
see you two get along.
390
00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:59,213
Good-bye, honey!
391
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:12,351
Hey, what are we doin' here,
my glass is empty.
392
00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,228
Come on, will ya?
393
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,749
Wow.
394
00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:37,668
This is it.
395
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:41,005
Yeah, our first motel room.
396
00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:16,690
Okay, let's get the guy up here
who paid for this shindig.
397
00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:29,804
Hold it, hold it. Let him talk.
398
00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:33,224
- I got nothin' to say, Nicky.
- Then sing a song. I sang.
399
00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:36,810
- I can't sing. Are you kiddin'?
- Sing "La Consonetta."
400
00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:41,861
I'm no Sinatra, but here it goes. Okay?
401
00:31:47,865 --> 00:31:51,826
Some think the world was
made for fun and frolic
402
00:31:52,369 --> 00:31:55,413
And so do I and so do I
403
00:31:55,873 --> 00:31:59,834
Some think it's right
to be so melancholic
404
00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:03,337
They'll pine and sigh
they'll pine and sigh
405
00:32:03,881 --> 00:32:07,884
But I, I like to spend
my time a-singing
406
00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:11,470
Some joyous song some joyous song
407
00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:15,892
To set the air with music ever ringing
408
00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,896
Is far from wrong is far from wrong
409
00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:23,482
Hark it, hark it music from afar
410
00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:26,611
Hark it, hark it with a happy heart
411
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:31,449
Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula
412
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,827
Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula
413
00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:38,497
Hark it, hark it music from afar
414
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:41,792
Hark it, hark it with a happy heart
415
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:46,923
Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula
416
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:50,343
Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula
417
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:53,930
Hark it, hark it music from afar
418
00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:57,350
Hark it, hark it with a happy heart
419
00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:01,938
Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula
420
00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:09,028
Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula
421
00:34:07,129 --> 00:34:08,754
How do I look?
422
00:34:12,134 --> 00:34:13,843
You look beautiful.
423
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,660
I always dreamed about my wedding day.
424
00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,622
I guess I never thought about the night.
425
00:35:07,189 --> 00:35:09,023
Be gentle with me.
426
00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:22,620
Julio!
427
00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:25,122
This is foreplay.
428
00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:29,585
- I have a headache.
- I don't wanna touch your head.
429
00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:32,588
Please, Julio, I've never
been with a man before.
430
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:34,590
Neither have I!
431
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,258
Julio!
432
00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:44,475
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't know what to do.
433
00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:49,105
- I brought a book.
- A book?
434
00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:57,113
"El Joyo de Sexo."
435
00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,157
- It's in Spanish.
- I'm gonna translate it for you.
436
00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,702
It has a very happy ending.
You're gonna love it.
437
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,172
Allison?
438
00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:18,092
What do you want from me, Julio?
439
00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:21,428
I never seen anything like that.
440
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,141
Try to understand.
441
00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:28,144
I keep hearing my father say, "Don't."
442
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:31,188
He meant before you were married.
443
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:38,737
I'm not so sure.
You don't know my father.
444
00:36:42,284 --> 00:36:44,243
Allison,
445
00:36:46,288 --> 00:36:47,997
listen to me.
446
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:54,128
My cousin once knew a guy,
447
00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,175
and the guy went out with a virgin
448
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:01,385
for six months.
449
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:07,683
And on their wedding night,
when they got married,
450
00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:11,270
and they wanted to consummate
the marriage,
451
00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:15,024
the woman wouldn't let him.
452
00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:20,696
And in the morning,
453
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:23,240
they found the guy dead
454
00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:27,786
in the bed next to her.
455
00:37:30,332 --> 00:37:33,250
- Oh.
- Allison?
456
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,630
I don't wanna die.
457
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:45,221
- You're my wife.
- Yeah.
458
00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:48,807
- I love you.
- Yeah.
459
00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:51,268
We're all alone.
460
00:37:52,938 --> 00:37:55,231
And your father,
461
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,016
he is a million miles away.
462
00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,784
Hello?
463
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:12,248
Julio, I just wanna say
good night to my little baby.
464
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:14,291
My father!
465
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:22,258
You hung up on my father?
I wouldn't hang up on your father.
466
00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:24,677
You wouldn't understand my father.
467
00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:28,264
Yeah, well, I'm not so sure
I understand you either.
468
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:32,351
Well then why don't you go spend your
wedding night with your father then?
469
00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:37,856
Okay, I will!
470
00:38:48,285 --> 00:38:50,744
Monty, don't forget to fix the walk.
471
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:51,996
Yeah.
472
00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:10,097
Watch it, watch it!
Watch where you're goin'!
473
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,851
My air mail!
474
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,644
Oh, my air mail!
475
00:39:28,408 --> 00:39:30,868
Listen to me. I want my wife back.
476
00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:32,870
Well, look who's here. Don Juan.
477
00:39:33,079 --> 00:39:36,332
- It's your fault she left me, man.
- What, am I responsible?
478
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:39,293
When Eddie Fisher broke up with Debbie,
you blame me for that too, huh?
479
00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:40,627
She don't wanna see ya.
480
00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:42,880
You gotta help me, man.
You gotta help me.
481
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:46,383
Give her time.
She'll come back when she's ready.
482
00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:48,969
You oughta give her a few drinks.
483
00:39:49,179 --> 00:39:51,096
That's how I got her mother ready.
484
00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:00,773
I'm in.
485
00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:03,859
- It's up to you, Paddy.
- Yeah.
486
00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:08,364
- What the hell is that you got on?
- This? This used to be a shirt.
487
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,407
You know Rose.
She don't throw nothin' out.
488
00:40:10,617 --> 00:40:11,909
She keeps lookin' at the cuffs.
489
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:14,411
Soon as they get frayed,
it becomes a short-sleeve shirt.
490
00:40:14,621 --> 00:40:16,914
When the collar goes,
I end up with a pajama top.
491
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:19,875
Right now I got 23
short-sleeve pajama tops.
492
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:23,379
You know what I found in the closet?
A hundred 1978 calendars.
493
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:25,381
That's Rose!
494
00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:28,425
I tell ya, if 1978 ever comes back,
we're in great shape, ya know.
495
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,928
Hey, are we gonna talk
or we gonna play cards?
496
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,641
He'll talk.
497
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,897
Nicky, take it easy.
498
00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:44,983
Take it easy, Nicky. He didn't mean it.
499
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,197
Monty, the phone.
500
00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:53,492
Hello? Hello?
501
00:40:54,536 --> 00:40:56,995
Monty, you have to pick it up.
502
00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,881
You got the wrong number.
There's nobody home. We're asleep.
503
00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:11,009
Mr. Capuletti?
504
00:41:12,554 --> 00:41:16,014
- Are you there?
- Monty, who is it, Monty?
505
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:27,609
Hello, hello! Anyone there?
506
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:36,243
Who know a Scrappleton?
507
00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:38,787
That's mother's lawyer.
508
00:41:44,294 --> 00:41:47,212
Yeah. Yeah?
509
00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:49,882
That's awful!
510
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:54,720
No, no. I'm sorry. I'll tell her.
511
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,805
I'll tell her. I'm sorry.
512
00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:00,184
Monty, what happened?
513
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:06,648
Rose, you better sit down for this.
514
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:14,823
Is it mother?
515
00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,160
Rose, there was a plane crash.
516
00:42:19,496 --> 00:42:23,290
Your mother earned her wings.
517
00:42:24,334 --> 00:42:28,795
It's all right. It's all right, baby.
518
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,882
"And to my nephew Clive,
519
00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:34,384
"son of my beloved departed brother,
520
00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:37,888
"whom I've undertaken to
raise as a son of my own,
521
00:42:38,097 --> 00:42:41,892
"in as much as he has always
led a simple, virtuous life,
522
00:42:42,101 --> 00:42:45,395
"and because it is my wish
that he continue to do so,
523
00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:50,442
"I bequeath to him an additional
income of $5,000 a year
524
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:52,486
for the rest of his life."
525
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,989
Ah there must be some mistake, Dan.
526
00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:59,952
- There must be some more zeroes.
- No.
527
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:01,954
Um, a comma?
528
00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:03,956
No.
529
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,500
"To my beloved daughter, Rose,
530
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:10,671
"burdened as she is with
cares and responsibilities,
531
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,757
"I bequeath the remainder of my estate,
532
00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:16,593
"which includes
Monahan's Department Store,
533
00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:19,179
estimated worth, $10 million."
534
00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:21,181
Oh!
535
00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:24,184
"If, and only if, her husband Monty
536
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,186
can reform himself in one year."
537
00:43:26,396 --> 00:43:29,147
What kind of reform you talking' about?
538
00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:32,734
There is a codicil attached
to the will, Mr. Capalooti.
539
00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:35,612
- That's Capuletti.
- Mr. Capuletti.
540
00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:39,741
Which lists the activities
which are to be proscribed:
541
00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:44,788
That is, the things
you must refrain from.
542
00:43:52,338 --> 00:43:54,715
- No smoking.
- No philandering.
543
00:43:54,924 --> 00:43:56,925
- No gambling.
- No drugs.
544
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:58,135
No alcohol.
545
00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:00,804
No alcohol? Does that go for beer too?
546
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,222
Certainly.
547
00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:06,268
And you must weigh not more
than 175 pounds.
548
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:07,728
Uh, question?
549
00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,773
Assuming Monty can't reform,
perish the thought...
550
00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:14,776
Oh, then you get the money.
551
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:16,820
I do?
552
00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:32,252
- Forget about it. I'm not doin' it.
- You're right, forget it.
553
00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:37,341
Daddy, come on, you can do it!
It's $10 million!
554
00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:40,761
Oh, and Mr. Capalooti,
555
00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:43,764
should you decide to accept these terms,
556
00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:47,351
remember we'll be watching you.
557
00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:53,857
I need a drink and a cigarette
so I can think this over, ya know.
558
00:44:55,777 --> 00:44:58,153
Twelve months? Forget about it.
559
00:44:58,363 --> 00:45:00,656
You can do that standing on your head.
560
00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:02,240
It's easy money.
561
00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:04,451
Hey, that's a lot of money, Monty.
562
00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:06,953
That could parlay
into a fortune for you.
563
00:45:08,164 --> 00:45:11,458
I couldn't care less,
Monty, but think of the kids.
564
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:15,462
- Think about mommy.
- Think of your wife, and your kids.
565
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,510
Think of me, ya bum!
566
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,977
Monty, breakfast is ready.
567
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:15,105
Oh, breakfast. Beautiful.
568
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:17,649
I stopped smoking. I'm starvin'.
569
00:46:17,859 --> 00:46:20,235
- Dad, pass the syrup.
- Here, here.
570
00:46:22,238 --> 00:46:24,489
Rose, you gave me the wrong plate.
571
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:26,992
Where's the rest of my eggs
and my home fries?
572
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:30,662
These are the rest of your eggs,
these are your home fries,
573
00:46:30,872 --> 00:46:33,707
and this is applesauce.
574
00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:42,132
Belinda, I can't eat all my home fries.
Want some home fries?
575
00:46:42,341 --> 00:46:44,134
No, thanks.
576
00:46:44,343 --> 00:46:47,846
Here, Monty.
Oohhh, pass them to Belinda.
577
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,307
If you wanna lose weight,
you should start now.
578
00:46:53,770 --> 00:46:55,645
Ooh, food.
579
00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:58,690
- It's a tough give-up.
- Allison, eat.
580
00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,735
Allison, you gotta eat.
581
00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:03,737
I know marriage is rough.
582
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,199
It's not all moonlight and canoes.
That's in the movies.
583
00:47:07,408 --> 00:47:10,202
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- What's the matter with you?
584
00:47:10,411 --> 00:47:13,747
You don't eat. You don't talk to no one.
585
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:16,666
You lock yourself in
your room all night.
586
00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,503
The way you're carrying on,
you'll never meet another guy.
587
00:47:27,136 --> 00:47:28,428
What'd I say?
588
00:47:28,638 --> 00:47:30,430
"You'll never meet another guy."
589
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,349
Take out the garbage.
590
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:36,186
Take out the garbage.
591
00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:39,648
I didn't even eat,
I gotta take out the garbage.
592
00:47:42,819 --> 00:47:44,778
Hi.
593
00:47:56,833 --> 00:47:59,292
She ain't worth $10 million.
594
00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:05,423
$5 million, maybe.
595
00:49:02,148 --> 00:49:04,566
Hey, not here! Not here!
596
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:07,569
I'm your new neighbor, Bill Jones.
You can call me Bill.
597
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:10,530
Not here! Why don't you take
him on your property, huh?
598
00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:12,949
Take it easy, you interrupt
King's business he gets very upset.
599
00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,577
What makes you think I wanna
inherit his business?
600
00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,579
If you feel so bad, I'll clean it up.
601
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,538
Sure.
602
00:49:18,748 --> 00:49:22,167
So you're Monty Capuletti.
Congratulations on your daughter's wedding.
603
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:25,962
Some party, I heard about.
What am I telling you for, you were there.
604
00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:29,549
Look, I'm your next door neighbor now,
so we gotta get to be good buddies.
605
00:49:29,759 --> 00:49:32,969
I wanna have a relationship. Most important
thing for us, we gotta have a good rapport.
606
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:35,055
Wait till you meet Ginger.
She's my better half.
607
00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:38,558
I already saw your better half.
In fact, I saw more than half.
608
00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:41,561
She's a dynamite girl. I met her
in Vegas a couple of years ago.
609
00:49:41,771 --> 00:49:44,606
Oh, man, she's a loving,
caring, sharing person.
610
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:46,483
Someone maybe one day you
can become friendly with.
611
00:49:46,692 --> 00:49:48,652
I needed you two to move in next door.
612
00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:51,363
I'm nervous enough this morning.
Are you kiddin'?
613
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:54,115
Nervous, maybe you need a little smoke.
614
00:49:54,325 --> 00:49:57,118
Little ups, little downs, little something.
I got anything you need.
615
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,828
What are you talkin' to
me about drugs for?
616
00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,622
I got my daughter here.
She's 12 years old.
617
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:03,583
Look, you got a connection in
the family already, stick with it.
618
00:50:03,793 --> 00:50:07,003
But just this once, I'll tell you what,
my friend. Let me be Santa Claus.
619
00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:10,674
There's one, two, from me to you.
We'll take a hike. Come on pouchy.
620
00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:32,946
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
621
00:50:35,658 --> 00:50:39,202
Two, four, six, eight, ten.
Two, four, six, eight, ten.
622
00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:51,756
This is ridiculous.
623
00:50:51,966 --> 00:50:54,259
But daddy, jogging's good for you.
624
00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:58,805
Thanks to jogging, more people than
ever are dropping dead in perfect health.
625
00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:12,861
Five more.
626
00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:20,201
- Celebrity Pizza.
- Send over the usual. Eight pies.
627
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:23,788
Two Lollo Brigidas, two
Jerry Vales, two Pavarottis,
628
00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:25,749
one Caruso and a Frank Nitti.
629
00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:29,044
- Monty, is that you?
- Yeah. I got a cold.
630
00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:37,761
Stay right there. I'll get some money.
631
00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:40,013
C'mon, what am I asking for?
632
00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:42,265
One slice.
You can stay up late, all right?
633
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:48,980
The top one had anchovies.
634
00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:55,278
All right, who's in?
635
00:51:58,491 --> 00:52:00,909
Come on, pick the date he blows it.
636
00:52:09,919 --> 00:52:11,836
Great guy you are, you know that?
637
00:52:12,046 --> 00:52:15,340
Can't wait till he blows it, huh?
Bettin' on it and everything.
638
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:17,884
Listen to you.
What, are you some kind of altar boy?
639
00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:20,178
Huh? You're some influence.
640
00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:22,806
You gamble in front of him,
you drink in front of him.
641
00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:25,266
Hey, Monty see, Monty do, you know.
642
00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:35,360
Hector, Hector. Don't push me.
643
00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:38,363
Listen to me. It's gonna work.
644
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,365
See these pennies?
645
00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:44,869
You take these pennies, you throw 'em
at the window, and I'll be in the bush.
646
00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,330
I saw it in a movie once.
It's gonna work perfect.
647
00:52:47,540 --> 00:52:50,750
If you need any help, just listen
to what I'm gonna tell you to say.
648
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,378
Go on. Go get 'em.
649
00:52:53,587 --> 00:52:56,881
- Where you going?
- I'll be in the bush.
650
00:52:57,091 --> 00:52:58,883
Throw the pennies.
651
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,011
- You're gonna be behind the bush?
- I'll be right here.
652
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:15,900
Who's there?
653
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,992
Hey. How are you?
654
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,163
I was just, uh...
655
00:53:29,081 --> 00:53:30,874
I was in the neighborhood,
656
00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:34,919
and thought I'd stop by,
see what's cooking.
657
00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:38,464
- That Julio?
- Yeah.
658
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:43,928
- What do I say?
- Tell her to come down.
659
00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:46,347
Prove to her you're the man.
660
00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:51,227
Come down. I'm the man.
661
00:53:51,437 --> 00:53:53,938
Get tough. Tell her you're bad.
662
00:53:54,148 --> 00:53:55,815
- I'm bad.
- Like you mean it.
663
00:53:56,025 --> 00:54:00,028
Allison! I'm bad.
664
00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,947
No, no, no!
665
00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:04,782
Jump up and down.
666
00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:09,078
- I am so bad! I am so bad!
- Be angry.
667
00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:12,916
- Who are you talking to?
- Julio and the hedge.
668
00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:15,960
I'm so bad, I should be in detention.
669
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,504
No, no. Be mean.
670
00:54:19,048 --> 00:54:21,549
Wave your arms.
Make believe you're angry.
671
00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,468
Listen to me.
672
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:25,303
I'm not that kind of guy
673
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,973
that's gonna start playing around
in the driveway of a tract house!
674
00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:33,061
I'm not gonna lose my temper
in front of the woman that I love!
675
00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:38,483
Get on your knees. Beg her.
676
00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,569
Tell her you're thinking
of killing yourself.
677
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:48,076
No. I don't talk like that.
678
00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:52,288
Do you hear me? I don't talk like that.
679
00:54:53,582 --> 00:54:57,961
If you know so much about women,
you talk to her.
680
00:54:58,212 --> 00:55:00,505
The hedge, Allison Capuletti.
681
00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:03,967
Allison, the hedge has
a few words to say to you.
682
00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:08,513
- I don't know what to say.
- Oh, now you don't know what to say!
683
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:12,517
Allison, Julio's very unhappy.
684
00:55:12,726 --> 00:55:16,771
- You made a fool out of me!
- Get off of my ear! Let go of my leg!
685
00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:25,530
Saturday lunch.
I can have a piece of fruit, citrus,
686
00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,532
or four ounces of fish.
687
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:29,534
I think I'll have the fruit.
688
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:31,744
Sometimes with the fish,
these guys go over.
689
00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,037
What'll you have, buddy?
690
00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:36,499
- Two with sauerkraut and a Yoo-Hoo.
- Got it.
691
00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:41,045
Two with sauerkraut. Yoo-Hoo.
692
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:44,590
- What do you want, buddy?
- Nothin'. I'll just smell his.
693
00:55:52,141 --> 00:55:54,058
You know why I'm going
through this whole thing, Nicky?
694
00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:56,060
For my kids, that's why.
695
00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:59,063
That's the greatest love in the world,
your kids. You can't beat it.
696
00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:02,567
That's why you do things.
That's love, for your kids.
697
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:05,069
See what I mean, see that man
over there with his kid?
698
00:56:05,279 --> 00:56:09,073
That's love. Look at the way he loves
the kid, bouncing him on his knee.
699
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:11,159
That's love, baby, I'll tell you that.
700
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:14,579
There he is!
Thank goodness he's all right!
701
00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,457
What's going on? I'm sitting here minding
my business, he jumped on my lap.
702
00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,459
- Get away from my kid!
- Everybody calm down.
703
00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:21,586
- Do you have some identification, sir?
- It's in my other raincoat.
704
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,297
Didn't I tell you to never wander
away from mommy again?
705
00:56:24,506 --> 00:56:26,674
Spit that out right now!
706
00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:36,392
Come on.
707
00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,690
It's all ready. Come on, give it a shot.
708
00:56:47,738 --> 00:56:50,198
You gotta go 30 miles an hour
709
00:56:50,491 --> 00:56:52,992
for 15 minutes for it to do anything.
710
00:56:54,370 --> 00:56:56,954
Come on, faster, faster. Come on.
711
00:56:57,164 --> 00:56:59,499
Faster. You gotta get it up to speed.
712
00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:02,568
Faster, faster, faster!
713
00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:07,006
Faster. 30 miles. Faster. Faster.
714
00:57:07,216 --> 00:57:11,803
- Oh, my!
- Oh, no! Oh.
715
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,229
Come on. Keep quiet.
Keep your head down.
716
00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:23,648
- Is my hair too flat?
- No.
717
00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:25,775
You look great. Come on.
718
00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:30,655
Come on, Julio. Okay. Gimme that.
719
00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,617
It's locked.
Let's go play Space Invaders.
720
00:57:34,910 --> 00:57:37,161
No. We'll go up the drain pipe.
721
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:40,123
Don't worry about it.
Everything's gonna be all right.
722
00:57:40,332 --> 00:57:44,043
- I will not. I won't go up that way.
- All you gotta do is climb up.
723
00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:46,170
Come on. Come on.
724
00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:48,589
You can do it! You bad!
725
00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:53,761
I had to hook up with
the only virgin in New York.
726
00:57:53,971 --> 00:57:56,639
Didn't they teach this at school?
727
00:57:56,849 --> 00:57:59,684
They taught math at your school,
but you can't divide.
728
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:01,811
At least I can multiply.
729
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,690
You sure this is Allison's bedroom?
730
00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:08,776
I know this place like
the back of my hand.
731
00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:20,163
What happened?
732
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:23,749
I got the back of my
hand stuck in the toilet.
733
00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:35,386
Listen to me. You gotta be quiet.
734
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,638
We gotta be quiet.
735
00:58:40,434 --> 00:58:42,810
- Where's the light?
- Shh!
736
00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:46,355
That isn't a light.
737
00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:50,359
That's not the light.
And this is not the light.
738
00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,947
That's the water pik.
739
00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:03,706
Here's the plan.
740
00:59:03,916 --> 00:59:06,209
I'm gonna go talk to Allison.
741
00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:09,003
When I leave the room, you...
742
00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:15,676
We're in here.
743
00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,857
Just be calm.
744
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,818
Just be calm, and get out the window.
745
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,370
Ow!
746
00:59:43,914 --> 00:59:45,748
- I'll meet you down by the car.
- Yeah.
747
00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:48,751
I'll be all right. Don't worry about it.
748
00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:54,298
Julio!
749
00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,842
Julio!
750
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:21,075
I'll have a number three
with flour tortillas.
751
01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:23,661
Mmm. Two of them.
752
01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:30,626
Um, I'll have the special. Number one.
753
01:00:33,672 --> 01:00:37,508
I'll have a junior salad. No dressing.
754
01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,598
Why don't you stop carryin' on,
huh Monty?
755
01:00:43,807 --> 01:00:46,726
Rate you're goin', I'll bet you a hundred
bucks you're not gonna make it.
756
01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:51,230
If I bet you, then I won't make it.
757
01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:56,110
Just remember: when the going gets
tough, the tough get going.
758
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,862
What if you're not tough?
759
01:00:58,822 --> 01:01:00,615
You gotta be strong like me.
760
01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,617
Look. What is this? Nothin'.
761
01:01:02,826 --> 01:01:06,078
Put it right out.
It's not gonna be my master.
762
01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:11,167
Gimme a light, Lou.
763
01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:19,133
Mmm, Monty, you gotta have discilton.
764
01:01:19,343 --> 01:01:21,093
Discipline.
765
01:01:23,722 --> 01:01:27,642
- Can I have your olive?
- You got extra olives?
766
01:01:27,851 --> 01:01:30,144
You want the black one or the green one?
767
01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:33,731
- Which one you want?
- It's up to you. Take the green one.
768
01:01:37,778 --> 01:01:42,156
Just a minute Okay, you gotta
stay still. Okay, kid?
769
01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:45,159
You gotta stay still.
Kid, you gotta stay still.
770
01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:47,578
Monty, have you ever seen
a face like that before?
771
01:01:47,788 --> 01:01:49,622
No. If I did, I'd remember it.
772
01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:53,376
Okay, I'm gonna get a real
good picture now. Okay?
773
01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:57,755
- Look at him! He's got my eyes.
- He's got my nose.
774
01:01:57,964 --> 01:02:00,758
And my sympathy. All right.
775
01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,843
We want some wallet-size pictures too.
776
01:02:03,845 --> 01:02:06,055
This kid won't fit in a wallet-size.
777
01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:09,183
Make 'em good pictures.
My wife's very particular.
778
01:02:09,393 --> 01:02:12,561
What about you, John?
He's very particular too.
779
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:15,064
I'm surprised you married each other.
780
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,566
All right. Look, kid.
781
01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:21,862
I'm tired of telling you the same thing.
You gotta stay still. I'll tell you what.
782
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,448
Anthony, I'm gonna make a deal with you.
783
01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:25,950
Anthony, pay attention.
784
01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:27,993
You gotta stay still.
785
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:30,287
If we wanna get a good picture,
we gotta stay still.
786
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,957
We wanna get a good picture, Anthony.
787
01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:37,044
Stay still. Stay still.
Help that kid out, will ya?
788
01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:40,047
- Talk to him, grandma.
- Here we go, Anthony.
789
01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:43,467
Be quiet.
790
01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:47,012
Stay still. Quiet, will ya!
791
01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:50,975
Blanche, John, grandma,
talk to him, will ya? Stay quiet!
792
01:02:51,184 --> 01:02:54,478
Hey, kid, be quiet, will ya?
793
01:02:54,688 --> 01:02:58,023
Somebody! Will you shut
the fat little bastard up?
794
01:02:58,233 --> 01:03:00,109
What is the law?
795
01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:04,113
Not to go on all fours.
796
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:07,116
- That is the law.
- What is the law?
797
01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,619
Not to shed blood.
798
01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:14,581
His prices are insane!
799
01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:19,086
All we need is one pin, Rodney.
800
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:22,089
Now, back to "Lost Weekend."
801
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:26,677
He who breaks the law must
go to the house of pain.
802
01:03:26,887 --> 01:03:28,596
Back to the pain!
803
01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:34,226
Monty.
804
01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:44,153
Monty, it's 3:00 in the morning.
805
01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:48,157
Come to bed. You haven't had
a decent night's sleep in weeks.
806
01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:53,078
I don't know how to sleep.
I know how to pass out.
807
01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:01,629
Maybe you should see a doctor.
808
01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:03,380
If I see a doctor,
I'll blow the whole thing.
809
01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:05,633
They give you sleeping pills.
810
01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:08,677
You know what I do when I can't sleep?
811
01:04:08,887 --> 01:04:11,514
- What?
- I knit.
812
01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:15,684
Maybe I'll knit myself a beer.
813
01:04:15,894 --> 01:04:18,771
How about some hot milk?
It'll do you good.
814
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,774
I'll try anything.
815
01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:27,780
- Hot milk.
- Come on.
816
01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:41,669
Monty, I know what you're going through.
817
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:44,255
Do you wanna talk about it?
818
01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:54,723
You know your friend Blanche Genaro?
819
01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:55,724
Uh-huh.
820
01:04:55,934 --> 01:05:00,739
Her kid Anthony,
I called him a fat little bastard.
821
01:05:03,859 --> 01:05:07,236
Very funny. We're laughin'
and I'm out of a job.
822
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,822
Monty, you're a great photographer.
823
01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:18,706
- You'll get another job.
- Yeah, when?
824
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,708
Meanwhile, I got nothing to do.
825
01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:23,711
What do people do when
they're not getting loaded?
826
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:27,131
What you have to do
is change your habits.
827
01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:29,216
Yeah? Who you been talking to?
828
01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,760
Mrs. Dugan. She's an expert.
829
01:05:31,970 --> 01:05:35,431
She had three husbands.
They all died of alcohol.
830
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,017
She's no expert, she's a carrier.
831
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,734
You know what I was
thinking about today?
832
01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:50,779
Coney Island. When the kids were small?
833
01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,700
Remember the time
you put Allison on the pony
834
01:05:54,910 --> 01:05:57,786
and you tried to make the pony
smile to make Allison smile?
835
01:05:58,330 --> 01:06:02,249
- I never laughed so hard.
- That was the good old days.
836
01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:05,085
If I make it through this,
I'll buy you Coney Island.
837
01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:09,840
I don't need Coney Island. I need you.
838
01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:03,602
- Hi, Nicky.
- Hi, Rose.
839
01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,856
- Hey, kid.
- Oh, yo, nick.
840
01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:11,360
- What are you playing, Mozart?
- Scales.
841
01:07:11,569 --> 01:07:13,562
Scales? Never heard of him.
842
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:20,786
Rose! Rose! Rose!
843
01:07:20,996 --> 01:07:23,330
Hey, whoa! What are you doin'?
844
01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:25,332
What's going on?
What, are you crackin' up?
845
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:28,419
I tell you, Nicky,
it's rough. It's rough.
846
01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:33,424
What's the matter with you?
What is this?
847
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,426
Rose told me I need hobbies.
848
01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:37,928
I'm making a plane.
It's a messerschmitt.
849
01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,434
It's a nice job.
850
01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:45,769
I tell ya, I'm fed up with everything.
851
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:48,647
I wanna go to sleep and wake up four
months from now when it's all over.
852
01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:51,942
You know what your problem is?
This whole thing ain't real to you.
853
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:53,777
You don't know what you're coming into.
854
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:55,404
Did you ever see
Monahan's Department Store?
855
01:07:55,613 --> 01:07:57,906
Once from the outside
when I dropped Rose off.
856
01:07:58,116 --> 01:07:59,575
Why don't we go see it from the inside?
857
01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:01,410
What do you say, come on.
We'll have a few laughs.
858
01:08:01,619 --> 01:08:04,204
Huh? Come on. I need a new shirt anyway.
859
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:11,378
Rose, there's a messerschmitt in
the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?
860
01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:25,059
Some joint, huh?
861
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:29,188
When you take over, let me
fix the bathrooms here.
862
01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:35,110
They don't go to the bathroom here.
863
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:38,155
See this?
864
01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:51,502
Could somebody help us here?
865
01:08:52,796 --> 01:08:54,630
I don't think so.
866
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:59,093
I tell ya, my friend here, he's look...
867
01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:01,637
I tell ya, my friend here,
he's lookin' for a shirt.
868
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:04,681
Yeah. You have something
in a dark black?
869
01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:08,602
He wants something he can
wear four, five days in a row.
870
01:09:11,731 --> 01:09:14,108
You have any men's shirts for men?
871
01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,693
Have you tried the Army/Navy store?
872
01:09:17,237 --> 01:09:21,115
Very funny. One more word
out of you, and he gets it.
873
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:23,700
Come on.
874
01:09:24,244 --> 01:09:27,663
Why don't you two put your heads together,
make an ass out of yourselves?
875
01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:34,253
Where're you goin'?
876
01:09:34,462 --> 01:09:36,171
It says, "Come In And Browse."
877
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:43,345
- May I help you?
- No, thank you. Just browsing.
878
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:46,640
What have they got in
this place, antiques?
879
01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:49,143
No, those are the customers.
880
01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:53,147
- May I help you?
- No, thanks. Just browsing.
881
01:09:53,356 --> 01:09:56,650
How long do you intend to browse?
882
01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,571
That lady, you didn't ask her
how long she intends to browse.
883
01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,739
How come you're asking us
how long we intend to browse?
884
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:04,658
You don't look like browsers.
885
01:10:04,868 --> 01:10:08,036
- What do browsers look like?
- Maybe I'm half browser.
886
01:10:08,288 --> 01:10:09,371
On his father's side.
887
01:10:09,581 --> 01:10:12,624
Nevertheless, I prefer that you
do not browse any longer.
888
01:10:12,834 --> 01:10:14,334
Yeah, well it's a free country.
889
01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,545
Yeah, if these people can browse,
we can browse.
890
01:10:16,754 --> 01:10:19,173
Nicky, let's show the
lady we're browsers, huh?
891
01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:21,675
Hey, look at us. We're browsing.
892
01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:26,680
- Hey, ducks in heat.
- Please! That's 18th century.
893
01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:29,183
Folks, better keep browsing
or she'll kick you out of here.
894
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:33,187
- Look at us. We're browsing.
- Is this an odd or an end?
895
01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:36,732
Hey lady, if I buy two odds,
will you show us your end?
896
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:38,525
Ohh!
897
01:10:40,028 --> 01:10:43,780
Security. Security! Security!
898
01:10:47,619 --> 01:10:50,495
- Yes?
- Mr. Barlow, please.
899
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:54,791
- What is it?
- Do you know a Monty Capuletti?
900
01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:57,294
- Yes.
- Well, he's on his way upstairs.
901
01:10:57,503 --> 01:10:59,379
Is he?
902
01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:10,349
Gentlemen, let's shelve these
petty matters for the moment.
903
01:11:10,558 --> 01:11:13,852
The son-in-law of our late, beloved
president is on his way to join us,
904
01:11:14,062 --> 01:11:17,689
so let's just sit around
and smoke and drink.
905
01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:19,691
Brent, Brice!
906
01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:24,494
Make up your mind.
Which one of us do you like?
907
01:11:25,823 --> 01:11:27,532
Down the hatch.
908
01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:34,748
Mr. Barlow, this joker
says he knows you.
909
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:37,834
This joker is part of
the Monahan family, Gus.
910
01:11:38,044 --> 01:11:40,420
Oh, sorry, sir.
911
01:11:42,966 --> 01:11:46,760
People, this is Monty Capuletti
and his friend, Nick Marino.
912
01:11:46,970 --> 01:11:50,889
- No need to stand.
- Monty, what brings you here?
913
01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,892
Nicky was lookin' to get a shirt,
but we couldn't find any.
914
01:11:54,102 --> 01:11:55,894
You got nothin' in this
store nobody wants to buy.
915
01:11:56,104 --> 01:11:58,772
Monahan's has an upscale clientele.
916
01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:02,276
All our gentlemen customers
are very conscious of style.
917
01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:04,403
Men don't have style.
918
01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:07,489
Men wear clothes. Women have style.
919
01:12:08,491 --> 01:12:10,409
What sort of shirt were you looking for?
920
01:12:10,618 --> 01:12:12,411
A regular shirt.
921
01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,871
See this shirt? Every guy on
our block's got one of these.
922
01:12:15,081 --> 01:12:17,374
You guys don't dress regular.
923
01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:19,376
You got on vests. It's hot as hell here.
924
01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:22,879
These gentlemen and ladies were
handpicked to work for me
925
01:12:23,089 --> 01:12:25,181
and dress accordingly.
926
01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:28,599
Where'd you find these guys, Noah's Ark?
927
01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:33,473
And you. There's a lot of
trouble finding your fly.
928
01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:36,935
I really must apologize.
929
01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:38,687
Monty, I've made a mistake.
930
01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:41,940
I didn't realize what
your true talents were.
931
01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:47,446
- Oh, no.
- You have such fashion sense.
932
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,282
Everything we've been buying, wrong.
All wrong.
933
01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:51,450
Tell us more.
934
01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:53,785
- Your pants.
- Our pants.
935
01:12:53,995 --> 01:12:55,829
You gotta have pants with lots of room
936
01:12:56,039 --> 01:12:57,914
so when you sit down, they don't split.
937
01:12:58,124 --> 01:13:00,083
And zippers that work
easy so you can fix your shorts.
938
01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:01,335
Know what I mean?
939
01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:05,380
Les slacks blousants avec le zip.
940
01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:06,798
Whatever you say.
941
01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:07,799
What about shoes?
942
01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:09,426
Well, you need shoes
that go on and off easy.
943
01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,971
You know, no shoe horn.
And no laces. They slow you up.
944
01:13:13,181 --> 01:13:14,973
Yes, I see that.
945
01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:21,480
Chunky, black mailman oxfords,
with adorable little white cotton socks.
946
01:13:21,689 --> 01:13:24,483
Big blousy bowling shirts.
947
01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:27,861
"Mel. The regular guy look."
948
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:29,154
What?
949
01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:32,491
You can't be this crazy.
He looks like a rummage sale.
950
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:33,784
I know what I'm doing.
951
01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:36,495
This is just the opportunity
I've been waiting for.
952
01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:39,873
You know, the boredom of unemployment
could really drive a man to drink.
953
01:13:40,083 --> 01:13:40,957
Yeah, so could you too.
954
01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:42,959
Hey, take it easy, Nicky, will ya?
Take it easy.
955
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:45,045
Monty, we need a mind like yours.
956
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:50,050
I'd like to offer you a position
as fashion consultant to Monahan's.
957
01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:51,134
Who me?
958
01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:54,678
I'm no fashion consultant.
What's the matter with you?
959
01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:56,390
Take the job. Take the job.
960
01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,517
The first thing we do is
we fire that broad downstairs
961
01:13:58,726 --> 01:14:01,029
that stopped us from browsing.
962
01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,023
Get me Sergio. Track down Alfonso.
Draw up a budget for Mr. Capuletti.
963
01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:07,567
Let's leak the story to the press.
964
01:14:17,245 --> 01:14:18,036
Hello.
965
01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:20,956
- Mr. Capuletti, please.
- It's for you. It's your wife.
966
01:14:24,043 --> 01:14:25,919
Hey Rose, they took all my clothes!
967
01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:28,004
When are you coming home?
968
01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:30,298
How can I come home?
I got nothing to wear.
969
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,759
I'll call you later. Here, take this.
970
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,303
- Turn away, please.
- Next shirt.
971
01:14:35,513 --> 01:14:37,305
Take it easy, honey. I got no good side.
972
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:39,933
Could you please turn away?
973
01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:43,311
Scrape all the gum off the
soles and analyze the shoes.
974
01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:46,815
- Should these shorts be duplicated?
- Yes, duplicated and fumigated.
975
01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,317
Mr. Barlow, I have the
blacks for the shirts.
976
01:14:49,527 --> 01:14:51,903
That's Mr. Capuletti's department now.
977
01:14:53,948 --> 01:14:57,325
I have midnight black,
raven black, licorice black...
978
01:14:57,535 --> 01:14:59,619
If Nicky was here,
you'd have black-and-blue black.
979
01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:01,663
Twelve inches.
980
01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:04,082
Boy, you're way off.
981
01:15:12,049 --> 01:15:15,469
Ladies and gentlemen.
Compliments of Monty Capuletti,
982
01:15:15,678 --> 01:15:18,972
invitations to the premiere of
Monahan's "The Regular Guy Look."
983
01:15:19,182 --> 01:15:20,974
Barkeeper, I'll have
a Perrier with a twist.
984
01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:23,977
I'm sorry. I only have Perrier on draft.
985
01:15:24,187 --> 01:15:26,396
Nicholas, Patrick,
how good to see you again.
986
01:15:26,606 --> 01:15:29,483
I know what you're thinking.
Why am I slumming?
987
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:33,487
Well, I'm here to hand-deliver
these invitations to you.
988
01:15:33,696 --> 01:15:36,031
But I'm not sure if you should attend.
989
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:39,075
We're his friends.
We'll be there. Gimme.
990
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,369
Well, it's your decision
and I'm sure your
991
01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:44,039
intentions are the best,
but think about it.
992
01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:46,708
It's not good for Monty to associate
993
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:49,461
with people who do what he used to do.
994
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:53,006
- We would protect him from that.
- He's talking about us.
995
01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:56,009
If you really are Monty's friends,
you'll stop making it hard for him.
996
01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:58,512
Look at you. You're smoking, drinking.
997
01:15:58,721 --> 01:16:01,014
We're in a bar.
What do you expect us to do?
998
01:16:01,224 --> 01:16:03,016
You must think I'm stupid or something.
999
01:16:03,226 --> 01:16:05,018
I look like I just got off a boat?
1000
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:06,686
I know what you're trying to do.
1001
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,022
Go ahead, get out of here you half
a sissy before I give you a slap.
1002
01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:10,941
Hey Nicky, take it easy, will ya?
1003
01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:16,613
Nick, you do want Monty to
have the money, don't you?
1004
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,078
Hey, what do you let it get to you for?
1005
01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:24,704
He just wants the money.
1006
01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:27,832
But what bothers me is he's right.
1007
01:16:28,042 --> 01:16:29,251
So he's right.
1008
01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:32,546
Think he's right?
I mean, Nicky's his coach.
1009
01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:35,549
He tells him eat fruit,
tells him to exercise.
1010
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:39,886
It's not what he says, it's what we do.
It's peer pressure.
1011
01:16:41,264 --> 01:16:44,099
Oh, yeah. Our lives are attractive.
1012
01:16:57,071 --> 01:16:59,197
I guess Nicky and Paddy won't show.
1013
01:17:01,534 --> 01:17:03,451
They didn't call, either, huh?
1014
01:17:03,661 --> 01:17:05,870
- No.
- Tonight, we present
1015
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,415
our tribute to the American silhouette.
1016
01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:12,519
Ladies and gentlemen,
"The Regular Guy Look."
1017
01:17:16,591 --> 01:17:20,468
Jonathan and Billy are wearing
the regular guy leisure look for fall.
1018
01:17:20,678 --> 01:17:23,471
Bold print, double-knit polyester pants
1019
01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:27,017
with totally
non-coordinated print shirts.
1020
01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:32,822
Pie is wearing the Italian
restaurant look.
1021
01:17:34,609 --> 01:17:37,319
Perfect for picnics where you
can be your own tablecloth.
1022
01:17:37,528 --> 01:17:40,989
Tie has the bowling alley sportif look.
1023
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:43,992
Next up is Peter, wearing
1024
01:17:44,201 --> 01:17:47,454
the regular guy lounge look in black
1025
01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:49,664
on black, on black.
1026
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:55,045
I think they like it.
Everyone's smiling.
1027
01:17:58,132 --> 01:18:02,510
You like to gamble, take a chance
on the regular guy robe.
1028
01:18:10,895 --> 01:18:14,564
American classic,
iridescent blue sharkskin.
1029
01:18:20,154 --> 01:18:22,530
That suit. Look at that suit.
1030
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,616
Have you seen the suit...
1031
01:18:27,453 --> 01:18:28,536
And now...
1032
01:18:28,746 --> 01:18:32,916
I'd like to introduce the man
responsible for this evening.
1033
01:18:33,125 --> 01:18:36,002
Mr. Monty Capuletti!
1034
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:38,288
Take a bow, Monty.
1035
01:19:00,152 --> 01:19:02,570
Fatty. Eating again, fatty, fatty?
1036
01:19:02,780 --> 01:19:05,573
Fatty, fatty. Eating
again, fatty, fatty?
1037
01:19:05,783 --> 01:19:09,077
Fatty, fatty, fatty...
1038
01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:11,538
- Who put this in here?
- I was only trying to help.
1039
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:12,914
Well don't help.
1040
01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:15,166
I'm tired of people trying to help me.
1041
01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:20,547
- Monty, calm down.
- What are you lookin' at?
1042
01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:22,549
Go upstairs and clean your room.
It's a pigsty.
1043
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,551
Leave me alone!
1044
01:19:25,261 --> 01:19:29,097
- I know what you're thinkin' too.
- Oh, god.
1045
01:19:29,306 --> 01:19:31,474
All I ever wanted was a happy family.
1046
01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:34,102
That's all I ever asked for,
a happy family.
1047
01:19:34,311 --> 01:19:38,148
A family that loved each other.
I never cared about anything else.
1048
01:19:40,651 --> 01:19:43,153
Stop it, will ya.
I can't take it no more.
1049
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,489
Money caused all this.
1050
01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:51,119
I don't wanna be rich.
We're not supposed to be rich.
1051
01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:54,497
We don't look rich, we don't
talk rich, we don't smell rich!
1052
01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:58,626
No more rich! I want our house
to be the way it was.
1053
01:20:04,216 --> 01:20:07,510
Hey, fatty, fatty.
1054
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,388
- Monty, where are you going?
- I'll be at Louie's.
1055
01:20:11,307 --> 01:20:12,265
Gettin' drunk!
1056
01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:14,392
Take this, Julio. Go and get her.
1057
01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:16,311
She's your wife. Go ahead, go get her.
1058
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:17,896
Right, she's my wife.
1059
01:20:18,105 --> 01:20:19,898
A gun. I don't want a gun.
1060
01:20:20,107 --> 01:20:21,733
Go back and get her, Julio.
1061
01:20:21,942 --> 01:20:23,067
Go back and get her.
1062
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,403
I must've been nuts to do this for...
1063
01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:27,405
Oh, look who's here.
1064
01:20:27,615 --> 01:20:30,200
I want her back, man. She's mine.
1065
01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:32,285
Put that thing away.
You'll hurt yourself, will ya.
1066
01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:33,912
Look, I'm in no mood for you.
1067
01:20:34,079 --> 01:20:35,705
In fact, there is no mood for you.
1068
01:20:44,924 --> 01:20:47,509
Nurse! Where is she?
1069
01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,053
They're never here when you need 'em.
1070
01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:55,850
Boy, oh, boy.
1071
01:20:57,102 --> 01:21:00,313
Oh, nurse, you're here.
Where were you, huh?
1072
01:21:00,523 --> 01:21:02,899
Three hundred and fifty
bucks a day, where are ya?
1073
01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:04,400
Where are ya?
1074
01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:08,363
Look at this. I'm dying of thirst here.
1075
01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:09,781
Hey, how ya doin'?
1076
01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:11,825
I heard about your unfortunate incident.
1077
01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:13,785
Where were you when I needed you?
1078
01:21:14,537 --> 01:21:16,287
I came to make up. I'm sorry.
1079
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:19,332
All right, Nicky, we're friends.
We're friends, all right?
1080
01:21:20,918 --> 01:21:22,877
It must be tough eatin', huh?
1081
01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:26,381
Eatin'. You should see me
go to the bathroom.
1082
01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:31,344
- Monty! Hi, Nicky. We're back.
- Rose, you're here.
1083
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:36,349
How's our patient today?
Oh, he looks much better.
1084
01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:37,600
How did you sleep?
1085
01:21:37,810 --> 01:21:39,853
Are you kiddin'? I was up all night.
1086
01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:42,188
Well, let's look at the chart.
1087
01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:46,359
He was hit in the fleshy
area of the gluteus maximus.
1088
01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:48,862
Ah, you're wrong. He got me in the ass.
1089
01:21:49,071 --> 01:21:51,865
No vital areas were damaged.
1090
01:21:52,074 --> 01:21:55,243
- No doubt he'll recover.
- How long do I have to be here?
1091
01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:58,913
Let me see now. Perhaps we
might have to keep you here
1092
01:21:59,123 --> 01:22:02,417
for four, maybe five weeks.
1093
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:04,878
Rose, I'm not hangin'
here for five weeks.
1094
01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:06,880
At least I know you're
gonna be all right.
1095
01:22:07,089 --> 01:22:09,257
I gotta pick up my mother
at the beauty parlor, all right.
1096
01:22:09,466 --> 01:22:10,884
So long, Nicky.
1097
01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:16,180
How are you feeling today?
1098
01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,433
You're looking good.
1099
01:22:21,228 --> 01:22:23,354
Oh, daddy!
1100
01:22:25,024 --> 01:22:28,234
I never realized how
much Julio loved me.
1101
01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:32,906
It was the most romantic
moment of my life
1102
01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:35,783
when he almost killed you.
1103
01:22:36,744 --> 01:22:38,912
Can I call you "dad" now?
1104
01:22:39,872 --> 01:22:41,080
Take it easy!
1105
01:22:41,290 --> 01:22:43,625
These are new stitches, you know.
1106
01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:46,127
Why can't you forgive and forget?
1107
01:22:46,337 --> 01:22:49,631
How could I forget?
Every time I sit down, I'll think of him.
1108
01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:51,799
Monty, how are you?
1109
01:22:52,343 --> 01:22:55,219
What an insensitive question.
You've been shot.
1110
01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:58,097
Well, this'll cheer you up. We're a hit.
1111
01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,600
What are you talking about?
They all laughed at me.
1112
01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:03,603
But we're laughing now,
all the way to my bank.
1113
01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,688
Look at this. What?
1114
01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,652
We put the clothes in the window,
and the kids went crazy for it.
1115
01:23:10,861 --> 01:23:14,155
I don't understand it,
but, well, who cares?
1116
01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:16,658
The regular guy look is a big success.
1117
01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:18,326
You did the regular guy look?
1118
01:23:18,535 --> 01:23:21,120
I just bought two of your
short-sleeve pajama tops.
1119
01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:25,124
- Rose, I gotta get out of here.
- Daddy, this is great!
1120
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:28,628
By the time you get out of the hospital,
we'll have the money.
1121
01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:30,630
And you'll lose weight too.
1122
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:34,634
I saw the food. Monty, she's right.
Your ship's come in.
1123
01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:37,053
But my pier collapsed.
1124
01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:40,640
All right, everyone out.
Visiting hours are over. Please!
1125
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:44,227
We have sick men in here.
You too, doctor. Please.
1126
01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:47,130
Excuse me, the two of you.
1127
01:23:47,456 --> 01:23:50,650
This is a hospital.
Hey, come on, let's go.
1128
01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:55,697
My good... Excuse me.
Will you get out? Let's go, let's go!
1129
01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:56,864
Daddy!
1130
01:23:57,408 --> 01:23:59,742
- How are you, Mr. Manucci?
- Bye, Monty.
1131
01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:01,953
Martha's gonna take
good care of you today.
1132
01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:03,663
How was your lunch?
1133
01:24:03,872 --> 01:24:07,000
I see you haven't eaten much of it.
I don't blame you, honey.
1134
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:08,376
They're trying to make
everybody up here sicker...
1135
01:24:08,585 --> 01:24:11,129
While I'm up here, check my oil.
1136
01:24:32,693 --> 01:24:33,651
Jesus.
1137
01:24:33,861 --> 01:24:36,279
We trust you had a pleasant swim, sir.
1138
01:24:36,488 --> 01:24:37,196
Your shirt.
1139
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:39,115
I don't want that shirt.
Are you kiddin'?
1140
01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:41,159
But sir, you should be
dressed to your station.
1141
01:24:41,368 --> 01:24:42,827
I don't want to wear
that shirt, all right!
1142
01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:48,916
Yes? This is Mr. Capuletti's
business advisor.
1143
01:24:49,460 --> 01:24:53,421
What can I do for you?
Better yet, what can you do for me?
1144
01:24:54,548 --> 01:24:55,590
Silver is down?
1145
01:24:55,799 --> 01:24:58,548
Call the Lone Ranger.
He'll cheer him up.
1146
01:25:00,304 --> 01:25:01,846
Hello.
1147
01:25:02,056 --> 01:25:04,432
Oil wells? Very interesting.
1148
01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:08,936
Meatballs, sir? No.
1149
01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:14,067
- Madam?
- No.
1150
01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:22,325
Meatball, sir?
1151
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,327
Where's the pistachio nuts?
1152
01:25:24,536 --> 01:25:26,370
There's too much trouble
with the shells.
1153
01:25:26,580 --> 01:25:29,373
Oh, yeah? I like the shells.
1154
01:25:29,583 --> 01:25:31,459
Hmm.
1155
01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:37,423
You got any salami or provolone?
1156
01:25:38,092 --> 01:25:40,468
Salami, salami. Provolone.
1157
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:41,886
Give it to him.
1158
01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:45,389
Why don't you get some sun
and come back next week?
1159
01:25:46,100 --> 01:25:48,059
Julio?
1160
01:25:49,019 --> 01:25:50,603
Julio?
1161
01:25:53,524 --> 01:25:55,316
Julio.
1162
01:25:57,027 --> 01:25:59,028
Julio.
1163
01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:04,450
Oh, you bad boy.
You were hiding from me.
1164
01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,994
- No.
- I found you now.
1165
01:26:08,038 --> 01:26:10,915
- You gonna play with me?
- Not again.
1166
01:26:11,125 --> 01:26:14,919
- Look what I wore just for you.
- Allison, I'm exhausted.
1167
01:26:15,129 --> 01:26:16,921
Chapter six, "El Joyo."
1168
01:26:17,131 --> 01:26:19,924
- You hired a captain?
- Yep. Everything's taken care of.
1169
01:26:20,134 --> 01:26:23,427
- He know how to get to Coney Island?
- Yeah, I told him. It's easy.
1170
01:26:24,388 --> 01:26:26,013
Here, I'll show you.
1171
01:26:31,562 --> 01:26:34,981
You go north up the Atlantic,
west into the Hudson.
1172
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:37,483
Come to the statue of that
broad, you hang a right.
1173
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:40,486
Takes 20 minutes,
a half hour with traffic.
1174
01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:44,365
Tell him to shove off as soon as I
sign those papers with Scrappleton.
1175
01:26:47,098 --> 01:26:48,494
What's that, a fire drill?
1176
01:26:48,704 --> 01:26:52,248
- It's lunch. Come on.
- I'm starving. Let's go.
1177
01:26:57,588 --> 01:27:00,423
Oh, daddy, I just saw
the cutest little dingy.
1178
01:27:00,966 --> 01:27:03,176
Allison, you're married to Julio.
1179
01:27:04,636 --> 01:27:05,887
This is the life, huh?
1180
01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:08,347
And they say money can't buy happiness.
1181
01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,933
At least you can pick
your own kind of misery.
1182
01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:15,855
Clive, you're the only one
who hasn't seen my stitches.
1183
01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:17,440
Want to take a look?
1184
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:34,540
Excuse me.
1185
01:27:36,960 --> 01:27:39,629
Mr. Daniel Scrappleton, sir.
1186
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:42,632
Hey, Scrappy, show me
that dotted line, huh?
1187
01:27:42,841 --> 01:27:45,134
And Mrs. Kathleen Monahan.
1188
01:27:46,345 --> 01:27:48,221
Oh, no!
1189
01:27:50,307 --> 01:27:51,724
My god! It's mother.
1190
01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:55,061
She's back from the dead.
She's better than Houdini.
1191
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:57,647
I've never felt better in my life!
1192
01:27:57,856 --> 01:27:59,565
Grandma, did you bring me anything?
1193
01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:01,150
A hat just like mine.
1194
01:28:01,401 --> 01:28:04,570
You never felt better?
You were in a plane crash.
1195
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:07,698
- There was no crash.
- I made up the whole thing.
1196
01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:08,866
Why?
1197
01:28:09,076 --> 01:28:11,702
Rose, I did it for you
and the grandchildren.
1198
01:28:11,912 --> 01:28:15,039
Someone had to stop Monty's debauchery.
1199
01:28:15,249 --> 01:28:17,166
He was going to hell in a hand basket.
1200
01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:18,167
Yes, quite true.
1201
01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:20,169
- And to test you as well.
- You failed!
1202
01:28:20,379 --> 01:28:23,172
- I'll kill her. I'll kill her!
- Take it easy.
1203
01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:25,258
I'll kill her! I'll kill her!
1204
01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:27,260
I'll kill her! Let me go!
1205
01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:31,055
Boy, you got some
nerve still being alive.
1206
01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:33,557
I went through this
whole thing for nothin'?
1207
01:28:33,767 --> 01:28:38,646
No, not for nothing, Monty.
You proved yourself to me.
1208
01:28:40,691 --> 01:28:44,110
And to make sure that you stay
on the straight and narrow,
1209
01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:47,196
I'm moving in with you.
1210
01:29:05,215 --> 01:29:08,092
- What's for dessert?
- Spumoni, miss.
1211
01:29:08,719 --> 01:29:10,594
Your favorite, Monty.
1212
01:29:10,804 --> 01:29:14,098
Shrimpton, none for Mr. Capuletti.
1213
01:29:14,308 --> 01:29:16,600
- Right, mom.
- And Shrimpton.
1214
01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:19,145
Mr. Capuletti is
skipping the coffee too.
1215
01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:21,689
It'll keep me awake, right, mom?
1216
01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,024
Right, dear.
1217
01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:27,653
And Shrimpton, I noticed a bottle
of beer in the refrigerator.
1218
01:29:27,863 --> 01:29:30,448
- Get rid of it.
- Tsk, tsk, tsk.
1219
01:29:31,533 --> 01:29:33,034
Right again, mom.
1220
01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,121
Well, I guess that's it for me.
1221
01:29:37,331 --> 01:29:41,208
I think I'll go out and walk
off all these vegetables.
1222
01:29:41,752 --> 01:29:46,213
And after that it's bedtime.
1223
01:29:47,257 --> 01:29:49,759
- Good night, honey.
- Good night, sweetheart.
1224
01:29:51,261 --> 01:29:53,637
- And Shrimpton?
- Yes, sir.
1225
01:29:53,847 --> 01:29:56,640
You better get rid of that
glazed fruit too. It's fattening.
1226
01:29:56,850 --> 01:29:58,517
Certainly, sir.
1227
01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:02,688
- Good night, Belinda.
- Good night, daddy.
1228
01:30:04,274 --> 01:30:05,649
Good night, mom.
1229
01:30:08,320 --> 01:30:12,782
Hey, mom. That perfume
is driving me crazy.
1230
01:30:14,826 --> 01:30:17,745
I think I married Rose
to get to you, huh?
1231
01:30:24,294 --> 01:30:26,253
Good night, all.
1232
01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:32,218
Rose, he's a changed man.
1233
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:37,098
- Finally, you've got a good marriage.
- We had a good marriage before.
1234
01:30:37,307 --> 01:30:41,310
Yes, but now you're married
to a human being.
1235
01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:45,731
I don't mind telling you,
I'm proud of what I did.
1236
01:30:46,441 --> 01:30:48,234
It wasn't easy,
1237
01:30:48,443 --> 01:30:51,904
but now I've got him under control!
1238
01:30:52,864 --> 01:30:54,657
Where's the pizza? I'm starving!
1239
01:30:54,866 --> 01:30:57,701
- Monty, where you been?
- We're keeping it warm for you.
1240
01:30:58,870 --> 01:31:01,580
Wait a minute.
Don't get grease on the cards.
1241
01:31:03,834 --> 01:31:05,793
Gimme the red pepper, will you?
1242
01:31:07,337 --> 01:31:08,754
Gimme a napkin.
1243
01:31:08,964 --> 01:31:11,799
- So what'd you tell her tonight?
- Tonight?
1244
01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:15,305
I told her her perfume
is driving me crazy.
1245
01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:20,808
Then I told her I married
Rose to get to her.
1246
01:31:22,894 --> 01:31:24,770
Gimme a beer.
1247
01:31:24,980 --> 01:31:27,982
My mother-in-law.
For years I wouldn't kiss her face,
1248
01:31:28,191 --> 01:31:30,511
I ended up kissin' her ass.96649
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof