Original subtitles

Okay, whoever makes this jump gets to choose lunch.

You're on!

Oh, we're going to Wing Kingdom!

Rigby, did you clean out the gutters yet?

No way, that's a two-man job.

Where's Mordecai?

I don't know, I haven't seen him.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen him since CJ dumped him at Muscle Man's wedding.

Yeah, no one has.

He hasn't come to work for two weeks now.

I've tried calling, but he won't pick up.

What?

No, here, I'll call him.

Huh, that's not like Mordecai.

I can't believe this!

You don't even know where your best friend is?

Hey, I've been busy!

Look, I'm just as concerned about the well-being of my employees as any park manager.

But I've got a business to run here.

If you don't find Mordecai and bring him back to

work by tomorrow, then I'm gonna have to fire him.

What?!

Wait, I can find him!

Well, for your sake, I hope so.

Otherwise, you'll be cleaning the gutters solo from now on.

Come on, Mordecai.

Give me a clue here.

Hello?

Hey, I checked with Margaret.

She hasn't seen or heard from Mordecai.

Yeah, his parents don't know where he is either.

And I don't think he'd be hanging with CJ any time soon.

Well, guess I'll start putting up these flyers around town.

Hopefully a hundred should be enough.

Well, I'll keep rifling through his personal stuff that he doesn't like me touching.

See ya.

Huh?

Dear Mordecai, stop wallowing in your lady woes

and come have sodas with other single bros.

There's a place with hot Sandy beaches and an all-you-can-eat buffet.

So pick up your sacks and jam with the crew in Dumptown, USA.

Signed, Sad Sacks.

Ah, Sad Sacks guy.

I should've known.

And Dumptown, USA?

That sounds so lame.

I bet nobody's even been to this place.

I have.

Dumptown is a refuge for guys who have recently been dumped.

A place where they can forget about their

breakups and embrace their newfound singlehood.

Wow, that's depressing.

Oh no!

Dumptown is great!

Throughout my life, whenever I got dumped, it was the

perfect place to forget about all my ex-girlfriends.

Ashley, who?

Monica, who?

Patricia, who?

Lisa, who?

Woo-hoo!

Audrey, who?

Yep, good times.

So good that some people don't ever leave.

And I don't blame them.

Okay, well, how do I get there?

The only way you can get to Dumptown is to get dumped.

So, let me get this straight.

You want me to dump you?

Yes.

As in, break up with me?

Yes.

So, you can be magically transported to a beach

full of losers so Mordecai doesn't lose his job?

Yeah, that's right.

No!

Ah, come on!

It's not for reals.

Fine.

Rigby, it's not you.

It's me.

I think we should see other people.

Nothing's happening.

Well, put some more feeling into it.

It's not called Gentle Letdown, USA.

I gotta get dumped.

Well, I guess you are pretty immature.

Go on.

You don't floss or brush your teeth at all.

Keep going.

You're irresponsible, lazy.

You never try anything new.

Now we're talking.

I've been wanting to try that new Ethiopian place for weeks now,

and you won't-Whoa, okay, I think that's good.

You know what?

It's over!

Get out!

And consider yourself dumped, loser!

Don't call me!

Did I just get dumped for reals?

Chicks, man.

How long have you been up there?

Brother, I saw the whole thing.

It wasn't for reals.

That's what they all say.

Luckily, I have a consolation prize for you.

A one-way ticket to a place to make the sad times go away.

So, am I supposed to take a cab, or-.

Huh?

There she is!

Dumptown, USA!

You're gonna love it here, man!

I'm not here for me!

I'm here to find my friend Mordecai!

Mordecai?

Oh, yeah!

I brought him here like two weeks ago.

You know where I can find him?

Well, he's probably on a food run.

The new guy always gets the food.

Try Dumptown Deli!

Alright, man.

This is you.

What?

You're not coming with me?

Dumpies only, brother.

I'll chill around here until you get back.

Ugh.

I hate that song.

Ugh.

Everybody's all gross and wearing bathrobes in public.

Excuse me, sir.

Have you seen a tall guy by the name of Mordecai?

Rigby!

You made it!

Got dumped too, huh?

I knew Eileen couldn't take it much longer.

What?

No!

Our breakup wasn't for reals.

That's what they all say.

It's true!

I just came here to bring you back to work so you don't get fired!

Work?

Look around you, man.

This place is a paradise.

Also, now that you're the new guy, I don't have to pick up food anymore!

Maybe I'm not making myself clear here.

If you don't get back to work by tomorrow, Benson's gonna fire you!

Order up!

Come on, dude.

We have plenty of time to get back.

First, you gotta come check out the beach house.

What's up, roomies?

I brought you guys some French dibs!

Dude, this is no way to live!

It's the only way to live.

Aw, dude, that was my brunch.

Nobody eats brunch at home!

Only losers do!

Come on, man.

Don't be like that.

Hey, I know what you need.

A grand tour of Dumptown.

Come on.

There's plenty of fun things to do.

Aren't you gonna clean that up?

Nah, Jeffrey's got it.

Now, chop chop.

Dumptown awaits!

And practice!

Here, dude, give it a whirl!

No!

I've had it with this place!

Come on, Mordecai.

We're going back to the park right now.

Yeah, yeah, I'll go.

I'll go.

Alright, guys.

One more time.

You're being ridiculous!

All of this because CJ dumped you?

CJ who?

You've changed, man.

I don't even know who I'm talking to anymore.

Nah, man.

You don't understand.

This place is good for me.

It's given me a chance to rethink my life, you know?

Look, I know things have been hard for you.

But CJ is just one girl, man.

There's so many more out there.

But you're not gonna meet him if you're trapped in this place forever.

Look, I don't see what the big deal is.

I've only been here a couple days.

A couple of days?

Dude, you've been here for two weeks!

Wait, what?

No way!

That can't be right.

I just got here.

Right, guys?

Yeah, man.

You just got a new life in September.

Stacy who?

See, dude?

Everyone is so out of it because there's no concept of time here.

You're wasting your life away.

Look at yourself!

You're right, dude.

I don't want to wind up here forever.

Let's go!

Hey!

Mordecai and his little buddy Ricky took off!

Let's get him!

You can't leave, Dub 10!

Yeah!

Who's gonna pick up the food for us?

How do we get out of here?

The drawbridge!

We're not gonna make it!

Look!

Hey, you need to sign the Lazy Wheels rental agreement.

Ah, whatever.

Come on!

Yeah!

All right!

All right!

Dude!

Can't this thing go any faster?

I'm trying!

I'm trying!

Here they go!

Yeah!

Sad sacks!

We're not gonna make it!

Time to lose these losers.

Oh, man.

No!

No!

No!

No!

Wow.

I don't think I've seen anyone leave Dumb Town like that.

Most guys stay for years.

Or never come back at all.

Well, I'm ready to go home.

You got it, brother.

Ugh!

Ugh!

Welcome back to the real world, dude.

I guess.

I admit Dumb Town was a pretty lame place.

But things were definitely a lot simpler there.

You want simple?

Take a break from dating, man.

Forget about the chicks and just focus on what's best for Mordecai.

Yeah.

You're right.

Well, well.

Look who decided to finally show up.

Go take a shower, burn that bathrobe, and get back to work, or you're fired!

Oh.

Hey, sad sacks.

What's up, Ensign?

Eileen?

It's me.

Am I still dumped?

Ah, Ethiopian food.

It wasn't for reals!