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There you go. Bottoms up!

Where did I come from? How did I get here?

This is the first time I see you like this.

This is a groom’s party. Drink up!

I’ve never drunk this in my life before.

You’ll marry her. Don’t sweat it, Hasbi.

First of all, I am already married.

Second of all, who the hell is Hasbi? I am the hodja from Of.

If you don’t marry Zekiye, brother Salih will hang you...

...and pound your ass.

I am not getting married, will you force me?

-We will force you! -We will force you!

6 Hours Earlier

A five letter word for...

...vital fluid in reddish colour?

Blood.

Punch.

A four letter word...

-...for blast? -Bang.

A four letter word for blast...

Shot.

Form of addressing in a loving way?

It starts with P.

Precious.

Pimp.

A four letter word for an animal?

Rooster.

I might be racoon.

It might be.

What do you do for a living?

I am a historian.

What is your main area of historical expertise?

Porn historian.

This poor Laz is heading to Luleburgaz.

No fucking way.

President from Of!

-Let me kiss your hand. -OK. It is enough.

What are you doing here?

I used to work here. I just got fired.

I am dead broke.

I will organize a bill of debt signing day soon.

If seagulls saw me, they would throw bagels at me.

Doesn’t contractor Ahmet give you money?

To hell with him...

..I will...

...whatever.

He has the moral compass of a roulette wheel.

That pimp fired me.

You are a man of your word.

You, my friend, have balls the size of Volkswagens.

But I got it.

I found my motto, my life lesson.

A low fart is filthy,...

...a loud fart is courageous.

How beautiful!

Do you have a place to stay?

I was sleeping at the gas station.

Where are you going?

There is a player in Luleburgaz. I am going to see him.

I have never been there. It must be beautiful.

Shall I come with you?

I can help you.

They put a farmer in tanning bed, he insisted on getting a farmer’s tan.

He is a farmer after all.

You don’t know anything else, don’t you?

Come with me.

Really?

Of course.

You rock. You are the man, hodja from Of.

What? Hodja from Of?

Hodja from Of?

Let me see.

We are watching you on satellite TV.

We love you hodja.

Come on guys. Beat it.

Let’s make some music for hodja.

If you have questions, go and ask hodja.

To hodja, go and ask hodja.

Hodja has all the answers.

These guys are off their rockers.

-Hodja? -Yes.

My wife and I have been married for 20 years.

-Wonderful. -What if I...

...make a pass at a woman?

Then she flirts back...

...and if I squeeze her boobs...

...it won’t count as adultery, right?

Since I am going to die,...

...I might as well kiss as many women as I can.

Can anyone listen to the same record every day?

You shouldn’t listen to the same record every day.

Yes.

Be careful so that your wife doesn’t change the needle of your record player.

Hodja?

Go ahead.

My husband is seeing this woman with a huge ass.

She is a tramp, a real ass hopper.

Everyone hops on her and runs away..

She shakes it in such a way that...

...if I tie a bucket around her waist...

...one kilo of yogurt...

...would be a yogurt drink and be drunk by ten men.

This freaking man with buggy eyes...

...stares at a piece of ass until it disappears over horizon.

Doesn’t it count as adultery?

She shakes it and he looks at it?

Yes.

Is he not going to look at the menu just because he is on diet?

Laugh as much as you want.

Once we return to Luleburgaz, I will divorce you.

You will feel each other up then.

You always ask. Let me ask you a few questions.

-What is your name? -It is Fatih.

-Have you ever said al- fatehah? -Yes, hodja.

Well done.

-What is your name, sister? -It is Kevser.

Can you say al-kawthar at once?

Of course. I am an expert at it.

Well done.

Why are you shaking over there like an old wringer washer?

Stand up.

-What is your name? -My name is Yasin.

My late grandfather used to call me “My Subhaneke”.

Incredible!

There is no one like you, hodja.

My president!

You are being discharged today, Hasbi Karaca.

Some are remembered with their memories, some are remembered with their mothers.

Be remembered with your memories.

A chicken’s ass doesn’t keep her promise but still.

How did you end up here?

I printed money.

Dollars to be exact. 120 dollar bills.

Why didn’t you print 100 dollar bills?

I wanted to keep the 20.

You are something else.

Salih has sent the wedding convoy.

You won’t be able to run away. You’ll marry Zekiye.

Otherwise, they will get...

...medieval on your ass.

You shouldn’t have kissed her.

I only kissed her. I didn’t deflower her.

Mine was just an infatuation.

I will get a nail puller and pull your teeth one by one.

He loves Zekiye, he loves her not, he loves her, he loves her not.

He insulted our family. Fucking prick!

Come on son, hurry up.

Look at me,...

...does Zekiye have a bun in the oven?

Is she internally fluffed?

Is she up the duff?

Is she pregnant?

I swear she is not.

They put a ring on my finger like crap through a goose.

First of all, she is impolite.

I asked over the phone what she had.

She said she had three apartments,...

...two summer houses and a taxi licence plate.

You are screwed, Hasbi.

I was fondling baker’s daughter...

...when they were still babies.

Did you bring my belonging?

I did.

I brought it but...

...what are you going to do with it?

-How are you, mate? -What the hell are you doing?

Uzeyir.

-What are you doing, pervert? -Stop.

Uzeyir, mate.

Welcome, mate.

How are you?

Have you been drinking?

Enough for me.

Every glass you drink, takes off an hour from your life.

No way.

Then I have been dead for 20 years.

Let’s go.

Mate, they stole the car.

Leave it.

You zipper is down. Zip it up.

They stole my wife.

Who is this dickeating fox?

I am Idris. Just Idris.

Come with me.

You know this guy, why did you trust him and come here?

We trusted him and came here to see a football player.

Come on, Idris.

Mate, you must be tired.

Let me drive.

You are already driving, be careful.

Slow down!

This means I don’t drive well.

What is this?

That is a blood test.

Doctor asked for it.

Do you understand any of it? Tell me what I’ve got.

-You are pregnant. -What?

I must have marked it wrong.

Don’t look at me like that.

They found a little blood in your alcohol.

You will be shitting raki soon. You have to drink less.

Mate, you know what?

If you want to be happy in this life,...

...you either have a beautiful fate...

...or you must be hammered.

Stop laughing, butt face.

Look ahead.

Wait a minute.

My phone is ringing.

I got excited.

Halime.

-Uzeyir, where are you? -I won’t tell.

-Uzeyir. -Okay then.

Do you remember when we looked for a ring?

Yes.

-We went to a jewellery store. -Yes.

You had liked it so much but we couldn’t buy it.

Yes.

I was passing right in front of that jewellery store.

Oh my God!

Did I screw the pooch?

Have I been barking up the wrong tree?

Did I stone kaaba instead of devil? Why am I stuck with this husband?

Other husbands tattoo their wives’ names on their arms.

Their ablution won’t count.

As if you are so pious.

Don’t waste time. I am waiting.

I am driving. Don’t keep me.

She never stops nagging.

How long have you been married for?

20 years.

Good, most of it is over.

Where is this groom?

Hasbi is used to docking out.

If we don’t take him to Salih with us, we are screwed.

He is bad tempered.

If you mess with Hasbi, he will dry slam your shitbox.

This ass doesn’t come cheap.

He is coming. Start playing.

Stop. Change the song.

How are you doing?

-Fine, how are you doing? -As usual.

What are we doing now? Are we going to Esma?

When you say Esma, my heart skips a beat...

...my heart jumps out of my chest.

I will never get married to that cussing Zekiye.

Come on, speed up.

I am speeding up. Relax.

Easy! Damn it!

What can I do?

I need to drive around Kesan so that I don’t hit you.

-Dear! -What happened?

Remember how you talked about moving to a more expensive house?

Yes.

And I said let’s hope for the best.

-Yes. -Congratulations.

Landlord increased the rent.

I won’t listen to you ever again before I take a sublingual.

When I see you, I develop a blood clot.

-So many doctors proposed-- -So did the engineers, right?

No.

Neither doctors nor engineers proposed to me.

Otherwise, I would never marry this good for nothing knucklehead.

What is wrong with you?

I broke off my two year old relationship.

Fuck it!

You’ll study harder next year and get yourself into a four year old one.

Waiter, check please.

Halime, your womanhood is a deed from heaven,...

...and this man’s ugliness has reserved combined ticket in hell.

He doesn’t drink for a year but on his annual leave he drinks like a fish.

Nobody believes he is the chief of police.

I got a haircut. He didn’t realize that.

You got a haircut?

What colour is it?

In his drunk state of mind, he will drive you in circles.

I should come with you.

That will be fine.

She is a beautiful woman.

You are a president.

You never let go of Asiye’s hand at the bazaar.

How can I let go? She runs to shopping.

Check.

OK. It is coming.

We’ll leave when it comes.

Bold head.

Leave a tip.

She has worked so hard.

Esma, when you laugh...

...you know how they pour syrup over baklava...

...then it starts bubbling.

I am bubbling over with enthusiasm when I think of you.

Hasbi, will you always love me...

...even when I am 60 years old?

I will exchange you with two 30 year old chicks.

Won’t you get me cotton candy when I turn 80?

Let’s reach that age first. Our asses for sure will be plugged with cotton.

Animal.

Don’t say that. I get offended.

Somewhere deep down, there is a romantic immigrant in me.

Yes, deep down. Very deep down.

You need to drill a well.

I started smoking 5 packages of cigarette every day...

...because of the love I have for you.

I am wandering around like a steam car.

No way, Hasbi.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

You need to be serious.

I have to take care of something.

Let me handle it then I will visit you today.

I will ask for your hand in marriage.

Really?

Really.

I swear I will ask for your hand in marriage.

Hang up the phone. I will call you.

Look at that forward!

We put him on this team as a forward to run behind the defence.

He ran towards the sister of the defence.

Here is our goalkeeper.

He became 90 kilos because of overeating.

He started weight lifting. Now he looks like a triangle cheese.

Look. He constantly concedes goals.

He is running away from the ball as if he is running away from a dog.

This is the player you favour.

Hayati.

Look how he kicks the ball.

He scores all the time.

Clap your hands, stomp your feet. This guy can’t be beat!

He is an amazing player!

He let my brain turn to jelly.

How much do you want for him?

I will pay. Don’t worry.

Hold on a minute.

You are welcome. Give me my wallet. I will take care of the check.

-Sober up. -What?

I am not drunk or anything.

I can walk straight.

Walk? You are standing still. Come and sit here.

Really?

Who is in charge here?

His father is his manager. Brother Bayram.

Let me warn you. He is a tough man.

He won’t budge an inch.

He goes to the creek to drink around this time of day.

You may find him in the next half an hour...

...after that, forget about him.

How can we make it on time?

Didn’t I tell you to get something that achieves...

...an acceleration performance of 0-100 during 6 seconds?

You did.

Didn’t I get you a scale?

Transfer me as well.

We will. Let me see you run.

-Shall I run? -Run and I will watch you.

Come on.

-Take this. -OK.

Take it.

I don’t want to deal with you.

Screw your driving!

Thanks to you, I passed all my kidney stones.

You are the one who is driving. Sober up, Uzeyir.

I am not drunk.

I am not drunk.

You are so drunk. You are sober.

Hold the wheel, Uzeyir.

Screw the car she drives.

From now on I will never drive with her.

Mate, you are so drunk.

Make a turn from here. Let’s go to the bazaar.

Let’s not go to Bayram empty handed.

Easy! You can’t drive.

You drive. Let me get off.

Don’t get me mad.

You are carrying human beings in this car not potato sacks.

Sober up, pull yourself together.

I just told you to drive to the bazaar.

Shut up for God’s sake. I am going.

Divorce me from this woman.

Drive carefully.

Lord, give me patience!

Don’t hype me up, woman!

Get out!

Come here. Watch out.

How are you?

Remember when you bought cheese halva?

-Where did you get it from? -Cheese?

You had given it to me.

Look, there is a store over there. Did you see it?

-Yes. -Their business is failing.

Uzeyir, where is the dessert place?

Look, there is a white building over there.

-Did you see it? -Yes.

There is a road in between. Did you see it?

-Yes. -Don’t go straight.

Welcome chemotherapy.

Go straight on this road.

There is another road over there.

-Go there and you can ask-- -Anyone?

No. You can’t ask anyone. They are bunch of douche bags.

They won’t show you the way.

Who would show you the way?

Mate, look...

...there is a tower over there.

I see it.

-Did you see it? -I see it. Yes.

May it be shoved up your ass.

Well done.

How did you pull off that joke? Devil wouldn’t come up with it.

Don’t try it anywhere else. They will jinx it.

Why haven’t you been cracking this joke for years?

On the days you don’t make this joke, I don’t consider myself alive.

When you made this joke,...

...I thought I wouldn’t laugh or give enough credit to it. So I panicked.

You can’t make this joke on your own.

You need the contribution of at least 7 other people to make this joke.

You can’t waste it here.

Go on television, address to the nation...

...everyone in the country should laugh at this joke.

You are the Messi of this joke.

Screw you.

I froze in horror. What kind of a joke is this?

Uzeyir, where is the dessert store?

You are in the wrong place.

You need to go that way.

There is a small mosque over there.

Walk this way inch by inch.

Then make a turn...

Then you’ll come back where you started.

I don’t know this area, bro.

Bro?

I will choke you!

Come on, we are going. We’ll find that dessert place.

Why don’t you rest up at the café for 5 minutes?

-Let me find it and come back. -OK.

-Walk with me. Come on. -You look very beautiful.

There you go, my president.

What are you doing guys? Are you killing time?

What is going on?

Your reputation has exceeded Trabzon.

Is that so?

Why are you looking like as if you’ve just seen the crack of a plumber?

Look at me.

Just look?

If you want, I can give you my eyes.

Sometimes, I get very angry during the show...

...my sign becomes Taurus and my rising sign is diastolic.

That’s why they are afraid of me.

Brother Hasbi has a much dirtier mouth now.

He must have gone off his head in prison.

So you are afraid of me?

There is no space for fear in real love.

Love is the most important thing in life.

If they ask me whether I choose money over love...

...I instantly would say I choose love.

Because if you think you would choose money.

There are more important things in life than money.

For example, real estate property.

If they ask me whether I choose money over love...

...I would choose money for sure.

Screw your money, Idris.

What is wrong with you?

If I took you to a repair shop, they would tell me you’ve broken down.

Jankey-ass.

Whatever!

Guys, this is life.

Sometimes you take people seriously. Sometimes you cross them out.

I take trustworthy men seriously.

You will tell me what you can’t tell others...

...you will ask me what you can’t ask others.

Then I will see how much you respect.

What is this?

Pearl coated amulet. It has been waiting for you.

-For me? -Yes.

It is a gift. You have to wear it.

I put it on, my president.

Come on, Idris.

Don’t forget what I told.

Don’t keep anything bottled up inside of you.

Have a nice day.

Dad, they have arrived.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Screw your...

It will be too late if we don’t do anything.

Wedding will start any minute now but groom is still missing.

You will do what you couldn’t do...

...you will tell what you couldn’t tell before.

That’s what that maniac wants.

-Hello. -Hello.

Put it over here.

What the hell are you doing, pimp?

What the hell are you talking about?

Sod off!

Ramiz, you had quit when I was going.

When did you start again?

When you came back safe and sound.

Hold on, chief.

Your prison bed is still warm.

Sit down.

You got a haircut, now you look like my dick.

Has the barber shorten it that much?

Everyone has become an asshole.

-Watch your mouth. -It is all because of you, chief.

If imam smirks, congregation will behave coquettishly.

We always follow you out of respect.

Stop babbling. Go and bring my amulet.

I just gave it to you.

-What? -What?

Thank you.

She is hitting on you.

This coffee is salty.

Wasn’t he an immigrant? He sounds like he is from North.

Sir, you know the reason of our visit.

Let me get to the point.

-Has your child gone all the way? -What?

You know experience is important. That’s why I am asking.

Bring my sublingual pill.

Bayram...

...how capable is your child when it comes to trying new positions?

Can your child pull off every single position?

Don’t get started, Uzeyir.

Is it hard enough?

I like a certain strength.

Esma,...

...cancel my sublingual pill, bring my rifle instead.

Is your child prone to cheating?

My child doesn’t do such things.

Whoever says such a thing, I will make him pay for it.

By the way, I looked at your child’s legs carefully.

I haven’t seen anything like that before.

I will beat the shit out of you.

Get the hell out!

Get out of here!

Fuck off!

Get up!

Get up! Piss off!

My child has a family.

I would kick the stuffing out of you.

You have been blustering.

He found an overpaying customer.

He is still dissatisfied.

Get in.

I know what he has been worrying about.

You go. I will take Idris and join him.

This area is not safe.

I wouldn’t want you to get fucked.

You go, I will call you.

I wouldn’t want you to be left dickless like one of those Greek statues.

-You go. I will handle him. -Let’s go.

He has seen only one statue in his life...

...and it is a Greek one. He never stops talking about it.

Easy. Easy!

Stop. Isn’t that Hasbi?

That’s really him.

Speed up.

This must be the country of crazy people. How does he drive like that?

-What are you doing? -Where are you going? My president!

Take me with you. I will get lost here.

Take me.

Let me come with you.

My president! Stop!

That’s it Hasbi.

Who is Hasbi? I am the hodja from Of.

Hodja from Of.

A groom can’t be dressed like this.

Let’s get him an Italian power suit.

I am telling you I am the hodja from Of. Don’t you understand?

What does it read on my ID? Look at it.

We lost your ID, it is invalid.

What have you done?

May God damn you!

I will go on a shooting spree on you.

Eat shit!

I am on my way!

I am coming, president.

I am almost there, my president from Of.

What the hell is that?

It is extra large.

You buy it just to show off to the cashiers...

...do you take it to a tailor and take it in on the sides later?

Do you think you should get a bigger size so that you can wear it next year as well?

What are you doing?

Your dresses are off the hook.

What are you doing?

How about I give 300 liras for 2 hours?

In exchange of what?

God, what do you test me with?

That’s very kind of you.

That’s good enough.

You are being unfair.

That’s too small. Am I a kid?

Put it down.

Why don’t you say that?

Draw it. Mold it.

We blessed the amulet, someone else will benefit from it.

That was our retirement bonus.

May you roast like a tomato and fry like a pepper!

May God give you a rash and no fingernails to itch it!

May God turn you into a drum and give me the drumsticks!

Hold on.

My dad is going to put his hand somewhere,...

...and freeze like a block of ice.

That wasn’t a proper way to ask for a girl’s hand in marriage!

Animal!

What happened?

There is this pimp,...

...he eats unripe grape, I am the one who puckers.

Chief, they are coming.

Quick.

OK. They are coming but you panic too much.

Don’t panic.

Didn’t our guys catch them?

They must have run away.

Don’t panic right away.

Don’t panic right away.

Sir, this is the backstage. Can you get out please?

Wait a second.

You came half an hour earlier but...

-Is that so? -Didn’t they send you from the agency?

For magic tricks.

Mandrake Feyyaz and magnificent Irfan.

One minute.

One minute.

He is coming.

Yes.

What will you make disappear?

Apparently, our asses.

In this business, many people imitate us.

I mean Ayse also chews gum but can’t blow it like Fatma.

If they come here, fire them.

They sent your costumes. Come on. Get ready.

Please welcome...

...magnificent Irfan and Mandrake Feyyaz.

They will pull a tablecloth...

...and nothing will move.

Next, playing cards.

Where are they?

Come here.

If you mess with me, I will jab your cock out.

-OK? -OK.

-That’s it. -Kid hasn’t picked up a card yet.

Next, invisibility cloak.

Now they will go behind that cloak...

...and get disappeared.

No way!

Is that it?

Yes, our next trick is...

...sword trick.

Let’s go for it.

Get on it.

Get in there.

Come on. Otherwise, I will tear your mouth.

Bro...

...watch out.

Don’t worry. It is just an optical illusion.

Stop.

-You are not walking. -Stop.

They are here. Run.

Hodja from Of!

Hodja, won’t you honour our show with your presence?

Ladies and gentlemen,...

...Black sea’s source of pride, hodja from Of is in our studio today.

Now that he is in our studio, let’s hear the questions.

Go ahead.

Hodja,...

...my girlfriend is unbalanced.

She is a different person every day.

Can you give me an advice on this matter?

I can.

If she is different every day, screw the love you have.

Hodja, you haven’t changed a bit.

We are not wasting time. Let’s move on to the next question.

Go ahead.

Hodja,...

...I always want to marry a young woman...

...and put on 5 22K gold coins around her neck.

Is that licit?

Buy it but...

...she needs to get permission from council of monument...

...in order to step on your foot after your wedding ceremony.

At this age there is a downside of--

Hodja.

We are having a commercial break.

Cut.

We have already cut it. You should have asked.

Hodja.

I am so high.

I got hammered before meatballs arrived.

An army is wandering around in my head.

Stop drinking.

You are like pregnant rabbits.

He is such a tightwad.

He serves very small amounts of appetizers.

You are such a cry baby. We gave you very little alcohol.

I’ve never seen you like this before.

This is a groom’s party. Drink up!

We brought mastic from Bulgaria.

It has worn fishnet stockings. It is a real knockout.

I have never drunk this.

You probably didn’t drink it from a glass.

You used to drink it from a trough.

You were drinking like that.

Groom! Look. We fixed Zekiye.

She got her hair dyed. Now she looks like a chick’s dick.

While you were in prison, she had a laser eye surgery.

She used to exchange eyes only with herself.

She got a boob job because bras were committing suicide.

Now, all of the eligible bachelors will line up at her door.

Like a line for pita.

She lifted her face so much that her forehead is in the back of her neck.

Her belly button looks like a dimple.

Maybe years ago that beauty spot was on her foot.

She got a botox lip injection...

...if she asked to leave a gap for a sip, they would give her an empty glass.

Take this!

What a fucking answer!

Look at yourself!

If I were your midwife...

...I would slap your parents’ ass...

...instead of yours.

What an ugly ass looking son.

His teeth are yellow just like a toilet.

You will marry her. Don’t push it.

First of all, I am already married.

Second of all, who the hell is Hasbi?

I am the hodja from Of. Hodja from Of.

He won’t shut up about being a hodja from Of.

Take the gun.

There are bottles over there. Shoot at them.

Move your head.

What are you doing?

Hodja, that’s not a way to handle a firearm?

What does it read on my ID?

Birth of place: Of.

If you aim and can’t shoot from this distance, you can’t get an ID.

Trabzon’s plant cover is empty cases, idiot!

Hasbi, if you don’t marry Zekiye. Brother Salih will hang you...

...and pound your ass.

Look at me, tomorrow around this time...

...your corpse will be getting washed.

I won’t get married. Will you force me?

-We’ll force you! -We’ll force you!

Look at him. He is just like my twin.

He is like the original. You can stamp the corner.

It is not that but Salih’s men are huge.

If one of them goes on a balloon ride in Tekirdag,...

...you’ll think there is a solar eclipse in Kirklareli.

What the fuck are we going to that wedding for?

We know what is really going on.

They marry Zekiye and hodja off.

He also has the amulet.

How are we going to get in?

Let’s suppose we got in, how are we going to get that amulet?

Let’s suppose we got it, how are we going to get out of there?

We have to change our store window.

What is this lamb dish made of?

You are asking weird questions.

Stop talking like an idiot. I am asking about its ingredients.

Wheat and lamb meat.

Why don’t we throw some magic mushrooms in that dish?

You are a pro, dude.

OK. Go ahead.

Leave it, bro. You must have been tired.

I’ll do it. You go.

Come on. You go.

I will take care of it.

Bon appétit.

There you go.

Bon appétit.

I am hungry.

Eat it. It is delicious.

Open your mouth.

Do you, Hasbi Karaca...

...take Zekiye Ezen...

...willingly?

Yes!

Is that an offer?

Dude,...

...I will kill you.

Is that a threat?

Our groom is a real idiot.

Is that an observation?

Do you witness?

I was looking at another direction,...

...can you perform the marriage ceremony again?

Do you witness?

Run away. They will count you as a witness.

Guys, if anyone objects this marriage, he may speak now...

...don’t bottle it up.

Emotions can lead to serious diseases.

I am telling you, isn’t that right? You will be constipated.

Come on. Sign it.

Come on.

Good luck with it.

May God give you happiness.

Happiness? I am a witness.

You signed the wrong place.

It is an official document. I can’t make any changes.

Look who I got married to.

Let me see.

-You married to me. -To you?

I am not ready for this marriage.

It is not that I am crazy about you either. Asshole.

Did we get married?

OK. I pronounce you husband and wife.

Step on his foot.

Step on his foot.

What are you doing?

I am sorry, groom.

I hyped up when everyone started shouting.

Good luck with everything.

You can squeeze her boobs now.

I have a headache.

She started behaving capriciously before she got married.

Salih, our groom has lost it.

Salih?

It is a magnet from a kebap store.

My grandfather gave his veteran of labour medal.

Brother in law gave me a bracelet.

-Nusret? -His false teeth.

What did groom’s friend give you?

Two protested checks.

A quarter gold coin from groom’s friend.

Where have you been?

I am giving gold.

Listen to me carefully. You can’t make our daughter sad.

Otherwise, I will beat the shit out of you.

I wish you an eternal happiness.

Is there anything you’d like to ask?

What year is it?

Whose hand is this?

Mrs, is there anything you’d like to ask?

Yes.

What is your name?

Ismet.

Mine?

What year is it?

I get it. I wish you happiness.

Won’t you carry me over the threshold?

Are you carrying a sofa bed inside?

I can fit you in vertically.

I can do it vertically.

Inglorious married animal.

Yes?

Is that what you think of me?

I will listen to you from the next room.

You won’t even touch her hand.

Salih might go easy on you,...

...but I will show no mercy.

Do you get it? You will convince her to get a divorce.

Otherwise, I will say something...

...out of spite.

I only threaten, I don’t insist.

What is going on? I don’t get it.

Finally!

You are my man. There will be no more hold-ups.

There is one. I am a virgin.

I am untouched, celibate, pure.

Give me a break.

If a rolling stone gathers no moss, yours would be a fluorescent light.

I am gay.

So be it. I don’t differentiate religion, language or ethnicity.

Ousted king, radio with a broken antenna.

Mine is running away from a roll call.

We’ll take care of it.

Divorce me.

My mouth stinks.

If I blow, you’ll think I ate a horse.

And...

...I fart like a whale.

People break their fasts during Ramadan...

...and all the alarms of neighbourhood cars ring when I fart.

Dogs are making funny noises.

So on and so forth.

I am suffering,...

...and the boldy has the cure.

Dude,...

...I’ll get ready and come back.

Wait up.

Wait up.

Wait up.

What is going on? Who is this woman? What is this place?

She will make a man perform a full ghusl.

Come on!

Come, dear.

My love!

They will pass out soon.

If I climb through this balcony to theirs,...

...I can steal our amulet.

OK, chief. I’ll cover this place.

Come on.

It is all because of you.

You make her scream and make me jealous.

Shut up and listen.

What am I going to listen?

My heart is like a building that was damaged after an earthquake.

I haven’t done anything wrong.

You need a woman to show you an A2 engine licence when you ask for her ID.

Come on.

Stay there!

That’s wrong...

Dear, where are you?

What the fuck?

Dude.

Where have you been?

Yes.

Won’t the prophet of gypsies be seen this year?

Prophet who is believed to guide all Romani people...

...after he comes out of water during the day of Hizir...

...hasn’t showed up yet.

Is prophet who has been keeping Romani people waiting...

...all those years by the waterfront...

...just a myth?

The last remaining gypsy by the waterfront is right behind us.

Let’s go.

Hello.

When did you come here?

We came here...

...early in the morning.

Yes.

Why did you wait so long?

An old man said...

...we should wait a little longer.

Will you come next year and wait again?

-If I ever wait again... -Yes.

People of Burgaz...

...should warn me.

-You see this tree? -Yes.

Good bye!

I won’t go to the channel. I am tired.

Let’s rest up a little while.

Give me a break!

Walk.

Don’t you remember who kidnapped you?

I will beat the crap out of them.

My brain still feels like jelly.

I don’t remember.

Halime, stop playing around. Dip your fork.

My mate has brought it. Whoever eats it, loves it.

Mind your own business. I am on diets.

Why? Doesn’t one of them fill you?

You think I don’t have a heart.

I have a heart...

...you’ll need a transporter for an organ transplant.

You told me you had a dream the other day.

I was coming home with a box.

-Yes? -There was a pearl necklace inside.

-Yes? -Did you ask Uzeyir what it meant?

-I did. -Would Uzeyir do something about it?

-He would. -There you go. Dream dictionary.

What is a necklace?

You first need to ask yourself...

...whether money brings you happiness or not.

Will it? It will even fuck--

Don’t ask, Idris!

Yes, Sir.

Minger.

Breaking news from...

...Hasbi Karaca and Zekiye Ergun’s wedding.

Here is the footage from the wedding.

Bride’s father will do...

...a gypsy dance.

Move.

It wasn’t a nightmare.

Beat it.

Michael Jackson.

The content of the envelopes which were prepared for the wedding...

...created a huge impact at agenda of Luleburgaz.

Everyone suspects that there was too much...

...alcohol and dope consumption at this wedding.

Fuck me!

Hasbi lost hair and grew a beard in prison...

...now he looks just like Hodja.

That’s why they kidnapped you.

That’s why Bayram yelled at us.

We’ll take care of Bayram.

We’ll go soon and ask for that football player.

Tell me what you avenge.

Never mind lighting the cigarette. The whole packet got lit in my pocket.

Cheers.

Come on. Bottoms up.

We lost the amulet.

Esma is so angry.

She walks like...

...the way sunflower blooms.

The way she looks...

...as if you cool a watermelon...

...and open a small bottle of raki to go with it.

Just like that.

Give me that.

Let me send her a message and...

...make her lose her mind.

But you have to look like you are doing well.

Write it down.

Esma...

...we never know what tomorrow brings. I apologize to you.

And send her one the ready-made poems.

Take it and read it.

Esma, you never know what your tit brings. I won’t apologize to you.

It auto corrected itself.

Let me see which poem you wrote.

Lengthen, pull, pull, wrap around it...

And tie it off. Gather reason, grasp...

...Tug, tug, tug. When I first saw one...

...circumcised I cried at its beauty.

You sent her a circumcision poem.

I will make a pig’s ear of your father in law.

They married off hodja from Of last night. Not me.

I swear Esma.

I didn’t touch Zekiye.

You want commitment. Right away.

Hang up that phone.

I will come and ask for your hand in marriage.

Hang up the phone.

Get up. We are leaving.

-Am I coming too? -I don’t have anyone else but you.

-Come on. Be quick. -Wait. I’ll pack something for the road.

Excuse me Seyfettin.

Screw your beer!

They will shove up a pillow when a die instead of a piece of cotton.

Brother Salih...

...your groom just left to ask for a girl’s hand in marriage.

Really?

Should I follow him?

Of course.

You are grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Chief.

To hell with your chief, how do you turn the bends?

I am sitting in the front seat but I could read the licence plate on the back.

I wanted to open the door and realized I was in the trunk.

This car is mining sand.

Don’t worry!

Fuck it. Never mind.

We shoved cotton up reaper’s ass. That’s how you should look at it.

Go and get me a dry suit. Be quick.

OK. Chief.

The prophet?

He really is the prophet.

Huseyin.

Huseyin, get up.

-Huseyin. Get up! -What happened?

Don’t you see?

The prophet came out of the water.

-Have you started shooting? -I did.

He is temperamental.

Let’s not scare him off.

Did you remember?

You opened up to me in this sunflower field.

This is the first place I kissed you.

I had touched you.

Don’t talk about it in the company of guests.

Did you remember what you told me later?

“What are we, Uzeyir?”.

I told you so.

Then I came...

...right away.

-You really said that. -I did.

He was born as a reaction to romanticism.

That’s how your stories develop...

...first act, second act, fucking up!

Don’t say that. I am in love with Halime.

OK. Maybe you yell and cause my ear to bleed.

Maybe you have wobbly bits.

Maybe you have saggy boobs.

Singles who see me say grace.

But...

...Halime is a faithful woman.

She is like a wrestler.

OK. Uzeyir.

-Maybe you are a snob. -Yes.

-Maybe you are a dick. -Yes.

Maybe if I had been your midwife, I would have pushed you back.

-But... -There is no but. You are like that.

Screw your...

-And... -Yes.

...you might be handsome but you are a real jackass.

I am not a jackass.

You admit you are handsome.

Double.

Drop off the twig.

Shall I get out? What should I do?

Get out.

-Hold the wheel. -OK. Get in.

Beer in the black bag.

Salty peanut and roasted chickpeas in a gondola.

Did you come here to ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage?

Do you see chief? I told you.

We should have bought hundred grams of cashew nuts.

To hell with your cashew. Open up the conversation.

OK.

You know the reason of our visit.

They’ve made out and hit it off.

-What are you doing? -They have met and hit it off.

What I try to say is that...

...why don’t you give your daughter for a test drive?

We ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.

Skip the formality. Does he drink?

I left my bottle in the car.

-Does he gamble? -Horse racing.

-Is he attached? -To your daughter.

-What does he do for a living? -Nothing.

Can you take my side?

As if you work so hard...

Cancel the coffee.

Take his side as well.

That’s what I told him.

I said what does this pimp do for a living?

I don’t want a son like you. Get up and get the hell out of here.

-What are you doing? -I am hyped up. I am going with it.

Bring me a sublingual pill.

What does your son do for a living?

He used to carry off something.

-Like what? -Car tapes.

Let me explain myself to you.

No.

Tell me your friend and I will tell you who you are.

It is going well. I will ask him.

Tell him something convincing.

Anyone who has an extra daughter and doesn’t give her away shall--

Do you have a death wish or what?

-Tell him something exciting. -Exciting.

If you don’t give your daughter, then you are a faggot.

What if I don’t give her away?

-If you give her away this October-- -If you don’t, wait until November.

-November. -What does your son do for a living?

What does he do for a living?

Never mind this slavery terminology that was created by the capitalist world.

-What are you doing? -How the hell do I know?

I heard some people talking at the coffee house.

He was talking through his head.

That’s why I am doing the same.

What does he do for a living?

His brother in law is an engineer.

How about him?

I don’t say this because he is my son but...

...he is a good man. He has no bad habits.

What does this pimp do for a living?

He is smart but he doesn’t work.

Screw the girl you want!

You have been drinking...

...and got drunk.

You came here and ask for my daughter’s hand in marriage.

There is a reason why we drink.

Ask us why we drink.

I am asking you. Why do you drink?

He really asked.

There isn’t a reason. There really isn’t.

When we think about it, there isn’t a reason.

Hasbi,...

...take a good look at me. I am the hodja from Of.

He really is the same.

You didn’t let me peacefully ask for her hand in marriage.

I love her.

My husband used to be just like him.

He always had his eyes on me.

-That was called-- -Cross eyed.

I used to be cross eyed.

I was cross eyed before I married her.

Then I got a laser surgery, now everything is crystal clear.

Hodja, you have something that belongs to me.

Are you talking about this?

Is it that valuable?

As if it was a deed from prison.

Does money bring happiness? Think about it.

Two months ago, I had a bundle of money in my pocket.

Ask me if I were happy?

-Were you happy? -Of course, I was happy. Are you crazy?

Screw you and your money, Idris!

Open it and see for yourself!

What I really value is, in it.

It is in it.

I placed my father’s photo whom I’ve never seen.

He had his military duty in Luleburgaz...

...then he took off.

-Dad? -Dad?

Do you have a branch in every city?

Brother...

...our dough is the same but...

...we are coming out of different ovens.

Your groom is inside.

What are they doing?

They have been inside for half an hour.

They are talking about an event which is the incident of this century.

We can’t choke Hasbi when they are here.

Why don’t I sweep him and take him somewhere remote?

-Then? -Then...

...we bury Hasbi.

Full stop.

Sure.

Where is that ass--

I can’t finish the sentence.

Where are you?

What’s going on?

We will take Hasbi and leave, chief. That’s it.

Really?

When you were eating with your bare hands, I was itching my back with a fork.

You will kill him, won’t you?

If you want to take Hasbi...

...you need to be brave as a mountain lion.

Chief has taken you under his wing.

Then what?

What is going on?

What are you doing?

Where do they take him?

Where are you going?

Our leader has come out of water.

If you say die, we’ll die, Prophet!

Thousands will follow you.

What will happen to Romani people if they do wrong to the Prophet?

Oh no!

-You can’t say no to the Prophet? -You can’t.

Bayram, come here.

Come here.

Do you give away Esma or not?

-No way. -What?

I can’t say no way.

Now I am doing another favour to my brother.

Do you give Hayati to hodja’s team?

Go ahead.

-Are we going to give him away as well? -Give him away.

Ok then.

Let’s pump it up.

You will be a great football player in the future. You’ll behave.

You will listen to me and become a great football player.

Come on in.

Where have you been Idris? Everyone has been waiting for you.

Here I am. I was about to pee in my pants.

Get in there.

A word for expression of surprise?

Motherfucker!

No. It is not correct.

Bro,...

Let me take my seat.

-Please. -Yes.

Hodja from Of?

-Hodja from Of? -Hodja from Of?

Come on guys. Beat it.

Let’s make some music for hodja.