Original subtitles

? A new day dawns in the wild, wild west ?

? Where the state would discover Who would be the best two ?

? And you know when the going gets tough ?

? Team Mahaki digs down To use the right stuff ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? Then you gotta give it your all ?

(record scratching)

? Come on ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? You gotta think big, not small ?

? If you wanna play handball ?

? Then you've gotta play hardball ?

- Crunch time. Butterfield or Block Street High?

First, the pros of Butterfield.

(upbeat music) (crowd cheering)

Sweet as.

Now, the pros of Block Street.

(upbeat music) (water splashing)

I'm going to Butterfield.

(hip-hop music)

- Recipe says it only takes half an hour, bro.

- Takes three hours to drive to Canberra, bro,

- So you'll need something to eat on the drive, bro.

- First day of uni. Can't be late, bro.

Where are they?

Good one.

Why are you so keen on making knafeh anyway?

- Just thought it would be fun or whatever.

- You're gonna miss me, hey?

- Pfft. No.

- You're totally gonna miss me.

Aw, widdle Salwa's gonna cry every night?

- Am not. Not every night. That'd be weird.

Gonna be mega quiet here without you but.

- Chill, bro. Course I'll make your dumb knafeh with you.

You're doing all the stirring but.

I need my arms for the drive.

(upbeat music)

(Salwa and Rayan laughing)

I've got to go.

(somber music)

(upbeat music)

- Hey bros! Got some pretty big news, eh.

- Pray tell, Mahaki.

- Well, I've been thinking about this a lot, you know,

the pros and cons, even made a mood board.

- Mood board? What are you? 30?

- It's not been an easy decision

but I've got to do what's right for my future.

- What is it, bro?

- Well, I got a skux scholarship

for Butterfield next year for footy and I'm taking it.

Is, is this� Is it, isn't it good?

- No, it's not good.

It's great!

- Huh? Great?

- Greater than grated cheese great!

- Greater than Catherine the Great from 1762 to 1796 great.

Immensely prestigious opportunity, bro.

You'll get to follow in your Daddy's footsteps.

- Yeah, yeah. Follow your dream.

- Go follow all those Butterfield kids in their boater hats

in your own boater hat like a swarm of boater hatted ants.

Mega happy for you, bro.

- [All] Congrats!

(all clapping and cheering)

- Thought it would be that easy?

- [Jerry] Who you talking to, bro?

- No one, bro. Why you still on screen?

- Don't ask me, Mahaki. It's your fantasy.

(tape rewinding)

(tense music)

- Hey, hey bros!

Um, I've got some big news, eh.

- Pray tell, Mahaki.

- Uh�

I, um�

I, um, I�

- Come on, bro.

- I have� - What is it, Mikey?

- Um, I�

- Come on, bro, spit it out.

- I, uh- (school bell rings)

I'll, I'll tell you guys later. I don't wanna be late for class.

- Today had better be amazing.

- Yeah, yeah.

Totally amazing.

- [Salwa] Come on, Prish.

- Wait, so what's the big news?

Hello? Bros?

Bros?

(upbeat music)

- Bad news, 6B.

Apparently the registration fee for Staties is $1,000.

Per team.

(tense music)

And as the school spent the last of its petty cash

on a heated toilet seat for the staff room,

you'll have to raise the money yourselves.

- This cannot be happening.

- 1,000 bucks is a hectic amount of money, miss.

- Yeah, yeah. You can't expect us to pay

for the school's poor fiscal management.

- Huh? - Say what?

- I mean, 1,000 buck? Wowzers.

How are we supposed to come up with that?

- Well, you wouldn't be learning

if I gave you all the answers, would you?

But I know you're gonna find that cash because I want,

no, need that Staties trophy.

I'm one shy of beating my sister.

Oh, and did I mention you need to raise the money by Monday?

- Mon�

- Dismissed.

(tense music)

- Hmm. Sell some rap songs?

- Too hard.

- Yeah.

Ooh, we hold an onion peeling contest

and whoever last the longest without crying wins?

- Too weird.

- Face it, bros. It's over.

You know what? Today sucks.

Handball was actually the only good thing I had in my life

and now it's taken away from me.

- Do you need a talk talk, Sal?

- Yeah, you good, bro?

- You know what?

We've just put so much work in it, it just� It annoys me.

I can't hear anymore bad news.

- Why bro? - It doesn't matter.

But you said you have some good news, right?

- Oh, yeah, Mahaki.

- It doesn't matter,

but what does matter is we get this Staties money

and I have a plan.

(light guitar music)

I will have a plan. I promise.

- What's wrong, Team Mahaki?

Got no plan?

(tense music)

- Shouldn't we have sad faces too?

How are we going to get the cash?

- How do you think?

- You can't expect me to ask my dads for 1,000 bucks, okay!

- We don't.

We expect you to ask them for 500.

- That's like half!

- [Viktor And Ivanka] So?

- So I'm not half of the team, okay.

I'm a third.

- You look like half to me.

- Yeah.

- [Viktor And Ivanka] There's us.

- And there's you.

- Totes unfair!

- This isn't about being fair. This is about winning.

You do want to win, don't you?

(tense music)

(upbeat music)

- You all good, boy?

- Yeah, just have to raise 1,000 bucks by Monday, you know,

so my bros are too stokes to be mad at me

when I tell them I'm going to Butterfield.

No biggie.

- So you're trying to sandwich the bad Butterfield news

in between some good Staties news, eh?

- Yeah.

- Just cover it in good news sauce?

- Yeah.

- Make swallowing the Butterfield news that much easier?

- Again, yeah.

(beaten guitar music)

- If you have a massive mechanic's bill,

I mean you can put off paying it for a bit.

But the longer you leave it,

the bigger it's going to get because of interest

and then you'll end up owing 50 times as much

and you'll have debt collectors just banging on your door

just before you're about to sit down

to your Maori New Year car-b-que tomorrow.

- Do you mind if we, um, stick to one metaphor, Auntie?

Bit confused with all these sandwiches and bills, eh?

- Just tell 'em, boy.

You don't want a lie spoiling your car-b-que tomorrow.

(light dings)

- The Matariki car-b-que.

- Mm-hmm.

- That's it, Auntie.

That's how I'm going to raise the Staties money.

- Did you listen to anything I just said, you egg?

- Yeah, but I'm not gonna have mechanic's bill, am I?

And I don't own a car, eh? Laters.

I've got calls to make.

- 1,000 bucks!

Your idea to raise 1,000 bucks is a barbecue?

- Not just any barbecue.

A Team Mahaki Matariki fundraiser extravaganza!

Picture it.

Auntie flips snags over here

with a Matariki car-b-que.

Hey, boy, extra sauce? It's gonna cost extra.

Daddy plays Matariki games with peeps over there.

Pin the hook on Maui anyone?

And over there,

Lily and Lance bust out some sweet as tunes.

? Matariki ain't Matariki ?

? Without hmm, hmm ?

? Waiata ?

And then, we'll charge a gold coin donation at each stall.

Skux, eh?

- I don't know, bro.

1,000 bucks is a lot of gold coins.

- Yeah, yeah. You sure we're gonna raise it all?

- Ka puta Matariki. Ko te tohu tena o te tau e!

- [Both] Huh?

- Matariki stars gonna rise soon, bros.

Sign of Maori New Year.

- So?

- So us Maori's are all about achieving dreams

and making people happy at New Year

so they can handle all the news

that the year throws at them.

- Okay.

I mean I guess I could help people

achieve their handball dreams

with a Matariki Handball Super Coach stall.

- And maybe I could sell some of those Matariki stars.

What's their deal again?

- When the stars rise,

that signals the beginning of Matariki.

And I think something about representing the eyes

of the Maori God of Wind.

- Sweet. Staties is a done deal.

- Yes! - Yeah.

Were totally gonna make that money.

- It's skux as, eh?

- Wait. This is a Jerry moment.

Dialing.

- [Jerry's Voicemail] Hi, this is Jerry.

Please leave a message.

- Since when does he not answer?

Okay.

(upbeat music)

- Hey Dads! Best idea, okay.

How about a shill chocklava croquembouche

for your wedding cake?

It's sweet, fancy, and a little bit spicy, just like you.

- I smell agenda. - Big time, okay.

- Whoa, totes offended.

Can't a girl help her dads say yes to a wedding cake

without wanting a favor redo?

Fine.

Need 500 bucks for Staties regos. Please.

- Soz, babes.

Learned our lesson after the wedding invite shamoz.

- Yes, as directed,

we are no longer sticking our nose in your bizzo

and trying to solve your probs, okay?

- Can't you help with this one last prob?

It's obvi I need to go to Staties.

I've sacrificed so much to get there.

- No, Tiff. The bank of Dads is closed, okay.

- Darling, you said you wanted more independence.

So, here's your chance, okay.

- Loving the sound

of the chili chocklava croquembouche though.

Divine. - Yeah, honey, I am sold.

Hook us up, yo.

(upbeat music)

(light music)

(light playful music)

- Stop smiling at me.

- No.

(light elated music)

- How about cake sale? Cake eating comp?

Cake on a spoon race?

- Forget about cakes.

- (exhales) But all I've got is cake.

- You want to raise $1,000?

Find out their plan.

(bell dings)

- Tiff?

What are you doing here?

- Need to order my dads a wedding cake.

- All the other bakeries in town disappear?

- No. Dads just weirdly wanted one

of your chili chocklava croquembouches, okay.

- Weirdly? Gee, thanks.

- So this whole Staties rego fee thing is fully dumb, eh?

- It's ruining my life.

I just wanna get on the court and play

so I don't have to think.

- Yeah, I hear you, bro. I mean�

(Salwa clears throat)

So how you guys raising you Staties fee?

We've already got a fundraiser, okay.

It's gonna be awesome.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

An awesome festival of awesomeness.

(menacing music)

Anyways, how's this cake order being taken?

Telepathy?

(upbeat music)

- Celebrate Maori New Year at our fundraiser extravaganza.

It's a sweet as, heaps fun bonanza.

We're selling sausage sangas,

Matariki star hangers,

and a game that follows a traditional Maori Tikanga.

And just when you thought that was all,

we've also got a Handball Super Coach Stall.

So come on, bros,

and help Mahaki Team achieve our Matariki Handball Dream.

(upbeat music)

- Handball coaching, super coaching,

best coach here ever now.

- Matariki stars, $1 each.

? Welcome to the Matariki sale ?

- It's going heaps good, eh, Auntie?

You reckon we'll get the 1,000 bucks?

- Then you'll tell your bros, boy?

- Yeah, just waiting for the sweet as moment

when they're happy, eh.

- [Salwa] Mustafa, I'm not a miracle worker.

Backspin.

Low shot.

High shot. (dramatic music)

- Some super coach.

Ow!

- It's a high shot, get over it, mate.

- I want my money back.

- Bros.

Happy Matariki Day.

Here, Mustafa. Sausage sanga, extra sauce. On the house.

- Thanks, bro.

- What's with the nostrils, bro?

Mustafa never normally gets to you.

- Where's the knafeh when you need it?

- I thought you only ate that when you hang out with Rayan.

Oh.

Rayan's off to uni, eh? That's why you need good news.

- No. I mean, I mean, yes.

I mean, I don't wanna talk about it.

Stop asking me.

- Hang tough, bro.

I'll make sure we get the Staties fund,

than you'll be heaps happy again.

Or else I'm doomed.

- Handball coaching over here.

Hi, want a ball each, okay.

- Yay, starry star cuddle time.

- Nice origami. Can I buy some?

- Not just origami. They're Matariki stars.

They- - have eight points

and represent the eyes of the Maori God of Wind.

I know. I stayed up all night

- [Viktor And Prisha] Reading "Matariki for Ninnies".

- Me, too.

- Wowies. The subtext is strong.

(lighthearted music) (coins clinking)

- Check in time. How much cash we got?

- Okay, 250 bucks and three band-aids.

Kid didn't have any money. And these are unicorn-themed.

- Sweet as. How about you, P?

P? - Huh?

Oh, right. Uh, $85 and 60 cents.

- Sweet as.

Now add that to Auntie's 260 from the car-b-que

and Daddy's $4.40 from the game stall�

- No money, boy? No worries. Tui will let you play for free.

- We have a grand total of�

Carry the three.

- $600. - $600.

That's skuxxer than a triple cheese toastie.

- Hold the cheese. We've still got 400 bucks to go.

- Yeah, yeah. We've been at this all day.

I've got book club at five.

What if we don't make the rest in time?

- Of course we'll make the rest in time.

I'll make sure of it.

(techno music)

(record scratching)

(dramatic music)

- Super handball coaching going for $2.

Super handball coaching, $2.

(dramatic music)

- I- - Don't-

- Believe it.

- [Lance] You know that's so not fair.

- [Salwa And Prisha] How could she do this?

- We'll never make that Staties cash now.

They're stealing it with my supercoach idea!

- Sure they didn't steal it. Probs just a coincidence.

- Oh, no, they stole it for sure. Trust me.

? The Volkovs have arrived ?

? Yes, they have arrived ?

? It's getting kinda heated here ?

? But I'm trying to distract you all ?

? What? Nothing ?

? Look at me at last ?

- Why'd you really come to my stall, Viktor?

- Why do you think?

- I did think it was because you like liked me,

but after seeing this�

- Free plushies. Come get your free plushies.

Free plushies, plushies. Come get your free plushies.

- Why do you always do this?

- Do what?

- Ruin things by being you?

- You're only saying that 'cause you like me.

- No. I thought I liked you.

But you've shown me I was wrong. So, thanks.

(Viktor sighs)

- Super handball coaching, only $2.

Super handball coaching.

- Oi, traitor face.

I thought robbers were meant to keep their crimes a secret.

- Can you buzz off? Kinda busy here, okay?

- What happened? You used to be one of us.

Now you're just pathetic.

Stealing our idea and rubbing it in our faces?

You got no conscience, do you?

- Afraid of a little competition?

Those gooey feels are betraying

the tough girl exterior, Salwa.

- Why can't you just admit to what you've done?

- I need to win.

- At any cost? No matter who you stamp on?

- Pretty much. Yeah.

- You're pathetic.

- So they've got a DJ and free plushies,

but there's plenty of customers to go around, eh?

(wind blowing)

Oh.

- I'm fully freaking, bro.

- Don't wig out. We'll just have to lure the customers back.

Easy as.

- How?

(hip-hop music)

- [Man] Hang on, is this a rap battle?

(upbeat hip-hop music)

? Team Mahaki, Team Mahaki ?

? Oh, there's no need to cheat ?

? When you're on Team M ?

? 'Cause life's already sweet ?

? The Volkovs play to win ?

? We play for fun ?

? 'Cause for us bro-ship is number one ?

? Bro-Ship smo-ship ?

? That's loser talk ?

? Just what you'd expect from a team of dorks ?

? Winning is the meaning of life ?

? Now come get your plushies ?

? They're totes as nice ?

- [Crowd] Plushies!

? Chill Team V just relax ?

? Obsessing over winning's ?

? Gonna clog your ear wax ?

? Going to Staties is about being with your maties ?

? And making mems that last ?

? 'Till you're in your 80s ?

? Mems will fade ?

? But trophies won't ?

? So now give us that dollar ?

? Before we finish this note ?

? We'll take bros over winning any day ?

? So listen up when we say ?

? Play for kicks like Team M the BBFs ?

? The bestest bros Forever in Sydney's west ?

(coins clinking)

(cash register bell dings)

(coins clinking)

(cash register bell dings)

- Guys, we did it. We're going to Staties.

- Yes!

Whoo!

(upbeat music)

Where is he?

I was gonna wait for Jerry to tell you

but seeing as you're all gee'd up,

I have something to say.

Bro! - Sorry.

- Where have you been?

- Got held up. Anyway, what's this big news?

- [Tween] Come on, Jerry. What are you doing, mate?

- Come on, Jerry. Let's go. - Jerry, come on. We gotta go.

- Coming! Can we make this quick?

Just got some new chums.

Ah, I mean, just got to be somewhere, yeah.

- New chums?

- Come on, Jez. - Just a moment.

Looks like my bros got some big news.

- So, what is it, bro?

- Okay, so, um,

I've got a scholarship for footy

at Butterfield next year.

And I'm taking it.

I'll get to follow my Daddy's footsteps,

and follow my dreams

and something about following boater hatted ants.

Isn't, isn't this great?

- A football scholarship?

- How?

- Wait, when?

- Ms Blapper told me to apply.

I found the day before yesterday that I got it.

I've been doing trials and interviews for a while but.

- Wait, how? We've has Staties prep.

- Well, you see, I've kind of been doing that

in between Staties prep.

- And you didn't tell us?

- So all those times you disappeared,

the shoulder thing, the energy drinks-

- It was 'cause of Butterfield?

- Mahaki, I'm shocked.

- You lied to us.

- I tried to tell you guys yesterday

but you were so gutted about Staties

and I didn't want to make that worse.

Plus, I needed to make sure

that there was something for me to say

before I told you.

Bros.

Say something. Anything!

- I'm sorry, I can't handle this.

- Please. - No.

- Yeah, yeah. Me neither.

Been played enough for one day.

- But you're supposed to be too happy to be sad about this.

I only lied to protect their feelings.

You understand, eh, bro?

Like how you lied to me about Howie

to protect my feelings.

You have to help me fix this.

- I'm sorry, Mahaki.

You're on your own.

(somber music)

- It's just black. - Look harder.

Our Maori ancestors have been greeting

these same Matariki stars for thousands of years, boy.

They haven't lost any of their shine in all that time.

Just like the Mahaki Cluster will burn bright

for years to come.

- Not unless a stupid, dumb,

liar-liar pants on fire asteroid

comes along and (imitates explosion) blows them up.

- A liar-liar pants on fire asteroid

couldn't kill those stars.

They'll only die from all the hydrogen fuel

and that'll take millions of years, eh?

- Say what?

- Don't give up on your bros.

Show them you're sorry. They'll come round.

- Maybe you're right.

- Not maybe. Definitely.

Just like I definitely love you.

- Love you too, Daddy.

- Kia pai tou Matariki.

- Yeah. Happy Maori New Year.

I'm gonna make sure those Mahaki stars never die out.

I just hope I can do it before Staties, eh?

- You will, boy. I know it.

(light guitar music)

(theme music playing)

? Hardball ?

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