Original subtitles

? A new day dawns in the wild wild west ?

? When a school will discover Who will be the best ?

? And you know when the going gets tough ?

? Mikey's going to dig down And use the right stuff ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? Then you've gotta give it your all ?

[hip hop music]

? Come on ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? You've gotta think big not small ?

? If you wanna play handball ?

? Then you've gotta play hardball ?

[fireball whooshes]

[Jerry] You're hiding from yourself.

Respect the ball, respect your power, find your flow.

[Computer Voice] Start!

[fireball whooshes]

[Mike grunting]

[Mikey] Ya, ya, ya! Oh ya!

Hadouken!

Who would've thought that retro Fireball VR

would have been so sweet?

Agreed.

Hungry work though.

[Jerry] Uh-huh.

Sweet beats, bros.

Big day, Daddy.

I believe congratulations are in order for your football debut, Mahaki Senior.

Ah, it's only reserve grade.

But still, a step in the right direction.

Cheers bros.

[upbeat music plays on radio]

Yeah!

Ah, Big Daddy in the house.

Comin' straight at ya' from the mean streets of Western Sydney.

Postcode 2161, till I die yo.

? Yeah gotta make my debut ?

? Better pack your shoe ?

? Don't you mean boots? ?

? My Dad's real ace ?

? He ain't no disgrace ?

? Came from Rotorua to pursue my dreams ?

? Now he's playing for the meanest teams ?

? Oh Bullfrogs Bullfrogs make my debut ?

? Got the meanest of rigs ?

? He eats like a pig ?

? Gonna come from the bench ?

? Show them my potench ?

'tial

What rhymes with 'tial?

Rule?

[sighs] Nah, yeah, feels like a natural ending to the rap there.

- Yeah - Yeah

[Daddy sighs]

[Daddy] See ya at the game boys!

["Black Betty"]

[engines revving]

[Mikey] Auntie!

[Jerry] Auntie Mahaki?

[Auntie] What?

[Mikey] Auntie?

[Auntie] What?

[Mikey] I can't find you.

[Auntie] I'm here you egg!

What?

Could we please get a ride to Sweet-Yummy?

No.

Pretty please with a Spark Plug on top.

Get some exercise.

- It's a long walk - Ride your bike!

Can't leave my boy behind.

He can ride.

Actually, I can't.

You sure about that?

["Black Betty"] ? Yeah black Betty Bam a lam ?

Skux!

Auntie Mahaki, I don't know what to say.

Just give me some space boy.

'kay.

I just had some spare metal that's all.

Now I'm not your driver.

Got three rules, helmets, footpath, back by six, got it?

[both] Got it.

["Black Betty"] ? Oh right ?

? Oh yeah ?

[helmet buckle clicks]

[safety belt clunks]

[bicycle whirring]

[gasps] I'm puffed.

[slurps drink]

[relaxed music]

[door entrance bell rings]

Oh, this one's my fave.

[women burps]

Better out than in.

This baklava's is pumping like it's 1981.

1981?

Meant to be a cool decade.

I hate Saturdays.

[Dad] Salwa, try not to freeze my puffs.

Wait. [sighs]

Interesting training facilities.

Think it's neat.

[relaxed acoustic music]

All right, here's the deal,

I got a list of chores longer than the M1.

- What's that? - A freeway.

- Yikes. - Yeah, punishment.

[Mikey] For the video?

- Yeah. - But you didn't do it.

Baba doesn't care if I did it or not, I got in trouble.

Hard core.

I assume training's off?

Nah, I just need help, as soon as we're done we can train.

Chores are choice.

Not here they're not.

Sugar's burnt on, needs to sparkle or Baba will blow.

Interesting taste, hey?

Nah, that's the sugar one.

The one you tasted is where he marinates his lamb brains.

Lamb brains in a bakery?

It's his lunch. He has it every Saturday.

It's actually kind of nice, isn't it Mikey?

Yeah.

All right, lets do this.

[upbeat music]

- [Mikey sighs] - Toughen up.

I'm hammered, Can we just train now?

Nah, you've cleaned like three pots

and you've given yourself a bubble beard, keep going!

- What? - I'll clean, you train.

You sure, bro?

I've got this, Mahaki.

- You're the best, bro. - Okay.

[upbeat music]

91, two, three, four, five.

Now drop.

I'm tired as a snake running away from a farmer with an axe!

Tell someone who cares.

Snazzy pic, Salwa.

Don't change the subject, drop!

I've got blisters.

Nah, they're callouses.

Hard hands means hard hits.

Hard hits are not his problem.

You want my help or not?

Of course, we need you.

Drop or we're done!

- [Mikey] One. - [Salwa] Faster!

[Mikey] Two, three, four, five.

Oh gumball, yum!

It's a bouncy ball, you eggplant.

Thought it was a bit rubbery.

[upbeat acoustic music]

[Mikey] What's the T for?

[Salwa] Tiffany, it's a target.

How am I meant to hit that with this?

You got power, big deal.

Handball's more than that.

It's control, preciseness.

- Precision. - Precisely.

[dramatic music]

Your turn, with preciseness.

Or precision.

Whatever!

You got this, bro� preciseness.

[ball splats]

Did I hit it?

Again!

[ball splats] Not even close.

Daddy's games gonna start soon.

- You wanna be good? - Yes.

Then forget about his game and focus on this, hit it!

Salwa, I don't think this is the right approach.

Well, he's trained with you

and he can't even hit a tiny target.

I'm right here, eh?

Getting angry never solves anything.

You beg for my help and now you wanna chicken out?

I'm hardly chickening out!

[Salwa] You're totally chickening out!

[Jerry] I'm not and I did not beg for your help.

As if! You begged so hard!

- I think we should agree to disagree. - [Salwa] I don't agree.

I know, but I'm saying I agree that you disagree.

- But I don't agree!

[Jerry] I know you don't, but I'm saying-

[Salwa] I know what you mean, I just don't agree!

- [Jerry] So we should agree to disagree! - What?

Just forget about it!

[glass smashes]

Oops!

What do you think it is, bro?

Your guess is as good as mine.

- Maybe it's a barbecue? - Doubt it.

A rocket? [rocket blasting off]

Probably not.

A machine that shrinks people,

like in that movie where the dad shrinks the kids

and says, honey, I think I made the kids small!

- I haven't seen that one. - It's an oldie, but a goodie.

Oh no, Mahaki, look, Salwa this is a bad idea.

Are you kidding?

This is not safe for a man of Mahaki's age.

I got this when I was six.

Intense.

People that are good at something train hard.

You wanna be good?

Of course I do.

Then let's dance.

[funky music]

Not literally, metaphorically.

Balls are going to be faster than you can imagine.

I want you to hit every one back to me.

Hit every ball? Got it.

I won't let this happen.

- Not up to you, Mikey we doing this? - I guess so.

Good luck, Mahaki.

I haven't been this nervous since I went to the pool with my Daddy

and he said, "Now boy, wanna jump off the five meter platform?"

When I was up there I felt like I was on the top of the Burj Khalifa,

that's the tallest building in the world.

So yeah, I jumped off with Daddy.

It was skux and I had an atomic wedgie.

It's still there.

[dramatic music]

[machine whirring]

["Popcorn" by Gershon Kingsley]

Salwa, that's enough.

Faster.

[tennis balls slap and machine beeps]

Salwa, stop it!

We're done here.

[upbeat music]

[crowd cheering and applauding]

[whistle shrills]

Gonna be like this all day?

[Salwa] Uh-huh.

- I got extra scarves, want one? - [Salwa] Nuh-uh.

[whistle shrills]

What are you doing?

Ah, I don't know how to say this,

but right now I feel like a kid in the movie

whose parents are separating

and they're heaps mad of each other

and I'm stuck in the middle.

And being stuck in the middle sucks eggs.

Feels like I've done something wrong.

But I haven't, so what I'm trying to say is, you know what?

I actually have no idea what I'm trying to say.

Put these on for Daddy.

Oh, by the way, sorry for

breaking your skux as school pic.

[whistle shrills and horn blares]

Oh no, halftime already?

Um, Salwa, I'll meet you over there.

[crowd applauds]

[Mikey] Daddy?

Where you been, boy?

Oh sorry, my coach is working me extra hard today.

Get a run yet?

- Oh, coach will bring me on later. - Sweet as.

- Better go join the boys, boy. - Yeah, good luck, Daddy.

Chur boy.

- Michael. - Hi Ms. Crapper, you look different.

I'm the Froggies' number one fan.

As a matter of fact, I was wondering

if you wouldn't mind asking your father to sign this for me?

Yeah, no worries.

And this.

Yep

- And this. - Yes.

And this.

No worries.

And this.

That's a lotta of Merch, Miss.

Oh, it's not all for me.

Some of it's for my friend Ms� Blarper.

Enjoy the second half.

Pretty sure Miss Blarper's Miss Crapper, anyway.

[jaunty music]

Thanks bro.

Who's hungry?

Well, I think nothing beats a meat pie at the footy.

- You ever been to the footy? - No.

Meat pies it is.

I'm vego!

Well, you don't have to eat it, do you?

And you don't have to talk about it, do you?

And you don't have to fight about it, do you?

I'll give you a hand.

I'll mind the seats then.

You should apologize, eh?

[ketchup squelches]

[chips crunching]

Hi, can we please have, ah, one veggie pasty, two meat pies,

and the biggest bucket of vegetarian chips you've got?

$48 dollars.

I've only got a 20.

You want it or not?

Ah, I'll just eat lunch at home.

[angelic music] Put it on our tab Wanda

Sweet as, sirs.

[Salwa] Yeah, thanks.

Hey, so tournament's just around the corner.

[both] Exciting!

Yeah, who would've thought handball would be so popular?

[Mr. Stone] Tiffany?

[Mr. Steele] Tiffany, come on.

Come and say hello

Come on.

[Mr. Stone] Maybe a future best in the west right here.

Hey, maybe, this tournament is gonna be totes fab.

- Obvi! - Fab.

[both beatboxing]

Dads, dads!

[Mr. Stone] Wait, what, What, What?

I love you, but you're embarrassing me, okay?

Oh, we're just excited, okay?

Yeah, not every day you get to battle it out

to be the best in the west, okay?

I won't be battling.

Oh, why's that?

'Cause Tiffany here tells us you are quite the force on the old court.

Does she? Well, Crapper banned me.

[Mr. Stone] Banned?

Yeah, some kid got me in trouble.

Oh dear, what happened?

Ask her.

Tiffany, what's Salwa talking about?

Um, this new kid, Mark.

- Mark who? - Mark Zegrab.

New kid, real nasty, okay?

- [Mr. Stone] Mmm. - Is this true?

You know what, sure.

Well darling, if you know it was this Mark Zegrab

you should do the right thing and tell Ms. Crapper.

I was going to, tomorrow.

Atta girl. [phones ping]

[both] Oh! Okay, corporate duty calls.

Hey, thanks.

Save it, you just lied to your family, deal with that.

Okay, I've gotta go do the halftime show now.

- Good luck. - Break a leg.

I'm literally so confused right now!

[whistle shrills and horn blares]

Didn't know you were so mature, eh?

Nah, I was just messing with her.

Oh, I thought you were sweet,

like you're basically like summer blueberries.

- Nah, I'm not. - Or tinned peaches.

Nah.

Or even a bowl of strawberries--

I get it, bro.

Just playing with you.

So, while we're being forgiving?

I haven't forgiven her.

Oh, anyway, I forgive you for making training extra stressful today.

I just want you to win but yeah, I'm sorry.

Not the one you should be apologizing to, ah?

[upbeat music]

Oi Jerry?

[Jerry] Yes Salwa?

I forgive you for being over protective and soft.

[Jerry] Um, Salwa?

Yes Jerry?

I forgive you for being an overbearing battle axe.

Good afternoon Western Sydney and welcome to Steele and Stone Partners

Western Sydney Bullfrogs Reserve Grade Sunday halftime show.

Please welcome,

[both] Tiffany Steele-Stone.

[crowd applauds and cheers]

- Go well. - Here she goes.

Oh golly.

? Living the dream Shouldn't be a nightmare ?

? Playing the market? ?

? Don't pull out your hair ?

? Call Steele and Stone ?

? They do deals for homes ?

? Steele and Stone Partners ?

[whispers] In work and life.

[crowd applauds]

Well done.

That was amazing.

Not bad, so how does this game work?

It's kinda like chess, but there's a ball

and the pieces tackle each other

and you only have six tackles, you can't knock on and--

You lost me at chess.

Soccer's way better.

It's cool you think that, but I respectfully disagree.

Carn the Froggies!

- Look! - Oh.

- My. - Godmother.

Yakalaka, yakalaka, frog-la-la!

Enjoy the game children.

[Ms. Crapper screams]

So, in the game of rugby league there's 80 minutes, each half is 40.

We don't have that long, so let's just hit the highlights.

[whistle shrills]

[electronic music]

[crowd cheers]

Boo!

[Announcer On Loudspeaker] That's another two points.

[Salwa groans]

Why isn't Mahaki Senior playing?

He's an impact player.

They're saving him for later.

So cool your Dad plays footy.

My cousin's dad's brother played, but we don't talk about him anymore.

Yeah, that's sad, eh?

Nah, he was a baklava.

[dramatic music]

Go Daddy!

C'mon the Froggies!

- [crowd cheers] - Yeah!

Yakalaka, yakalaka, frog la la!

- [crowd cheers] - C'mon the Froggies!

- Yes! - Ooh!

Your dad is making great impact.

He's playing his part.

There is no I in team.

You're catching on, bro.

Uh-huh.

[upbeat music]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd groans]

[crowd cheers and groans]

[whistle shrills]

[sombre music]

It's okay.

[whistle shrills]

Poor Mikey.

Poor Mahaki Senior.

Hey Mikey, you alright?

Ah, yeah, just, ah, really bummed for Daddy.

Wanted him to shine so he could get out of reserve grade.

- Look, my Baba says if you stay in the line

your turn will come.

Your Baba will get there, he's a weapon.

Just wasn't his day.

Precisely.

Thanks guys, you're awesome.

Hugs are the best.

[downbeat music]

Sorry you missed the tackle, Daddy.

Me too, boy.

But you looked pretty sweet chasing them down though, eh?

You know, if you stay in the line your turn will come.

I've been in line a long time, be nice to jump the queue.

Yeah, but then you'd be a baklava.

- A what? - A baklava.

A sweet pastry?

Yeah, Nah, I mean, it's something Salwa says

when someone's mean or stupid.

I like how she manages to swear without swearing.

Me too, she's got some others.

Eggplant, pistachio head, garlic face,

oh wait, no, that's Tiff.

Anyway, they always seem to feature food.

I believe in you Daddy, your turn will come.

How did I get so lucky?

Well, when you train hard and never give up--

No, I mean with you, boy.

How did I get so lucky with you?

Mummy'd be proud.

Let's go get pancakes.

What about dinner?

I won't tell Auntie if you won't.

Do some shopping, boy?

Nah. This is for Miss. Blarper.

Huh?

I'll explain on the way.

[upbeat music]

[electronic music]

- I wanted to wear my camouflage pants,

but I couldn't find them.

? Hardball ?

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