Original subtitles

? A new day dawns in the wild wild west ?

? When a school will discover Who will be the best ?

? And you know when the going gets tough ?

? Mikey's gonna dig down And use the right stuff ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? Then you gotta give it your all ?

[record scratching]

? Come on ?

? 'Cause if you wanna play handball ?

? You gotta think big, not small ?

? If you wanna play handball ?

? Then you gotta play hardball ?

[percussive music]

Hi, my name's Mikey, this is my home.

I live here with my daddy, Daddy.

[upbeat music]

And my cousins.

My dad's a choice footy player.

One day he's gonna be in the big leagues.

When you gonna be in the big leagues?

One day, cuz.

I live in Rotorua, New Zealand.

There's a sweet lake, me and my cousins fish there.

See, fish.

These are my friends. Taika,

Tekohunui,

and Greg.

My school is--

[phone ringing]

Hello? Uh-huh, tomorrow?

Sweet.

That was the Western Sydney Bullfrogs,

an elite rugby league team who want me to come and play effective immediately.

You know how I said I lived in Rotorua, New Zealand?

Let's pretend that was 10 seconds ago.

[upbeat music]

[tires squealing]

[bird squawking]

130 bucks?

Welcome to Sydney.

[upbeat music]

I haven't seen Auntie in a while, so just smile and be yourself.

- Okay? - Okay, Daddy.

[tools whirring]

Hi, Auntie.

Hi.

You're early.

By three minutes.

Early.

Sorry.

Can we come in?

[upbeat music]

- Come in. - Come on.

This is where you stay.

Bathroom's through there.

Don't use the bath. It doesn't drain.

Toilet's through there.

It' just a toilet.

This is my movie shelf.

They're my movies.

This is where I work.

This is the fridge.

That's my shelf, that's yours.

This is your bed.

And this is yours.

Fairies, choice.

Ocean views.

Awesome.

I got to go to training. Can you take care of Mikey?

Knock 'em dead boy.

You too Daddy, love you!

[Daddy] Love you too!

I'm Mikey, you're my auntie.

So, how long you been my auntie?

How long you been alive?

- About 10 years. - About 10 years, then.

Sweet as.

How come we never met?

You live over there, I live over here.

Sweet as.

Thanks for the van bed, auntie.

I was gonna scrap it. You just saved me a trip to the tip.

Oh.

That's it, let's go.

Okay.

[upbeat music]

- So, what's your favorite color? - Blue.

Sweet as.

- Favorite food? - Eggs.

- Just eggs? - Yup.

Sweet as.

Favorite animal?

Ants.

- They're insects. - Antelope.

[car banging]

Who's that guy?

Elvis, the king. My favorite singer.

Really?

[car bangs and rattles]

Whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Dirty dacks.

[Mikey] Has it started yet?

Lunch.

Thanks for the lift, auntie.

Pick you up after school.

Yup.

[upbeat music]

You're late.

Lift, twist, pull.

Lift, twist, pull.

Got it, coming!

Michael, is it?

Mikey's okay, Ms�

Crapper?

It's Crah-per, the A is long.

Oh, sorry, Miss Crah-per.

Mz Crah-per.

Where's your uniform?

I just arrived here from NZ Mz.

Walk this way.

[upbeat music]

Not much in your size.

No worries, Mz.

Try these.

Off!

Hurry up!

How do I look?

Well it's, ah�

Tight, but choice.

So, are you like a teacher, Mz?

I'm the principal-elect.

What does that mean?

It means I will be the principal,

but I'm not yet the principal.

Promotion, choice.

What do you do now?

Teach you.

[children chattering]

Prisha, back to your desk please, darling.

Lance, just, just, prance back to your desk.

[people shushing]

Thank you, Miss Bahm.

You're welcome, Mz Crah-per.

5B, please welcome your new classmate,

Michael Mahaki.

He's joined us all the way from New Zealand.

Welcome him!

Welcome.

Good to be here.

The name's Mikey.

And although I might look like a big kid,

I am 10, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you all.

High school for giants is across the road.

- [children laughing] - Dang, wish I knew before I enrolled here.

The Avengers called, the need Hulk back.

Tell them I'm busy getting an education, bro.

- [children laughing] - Children, that's enough.

Bags Mikey man for my tug-o-war team. He's so strong.

[children laughing]

I said enough.

Be seated.

Sorry, bro.

Sorry.

Thanks bro.

No problem, Mahaki.

[bell ringing]

Dismissed.

Michael?

Yes, Mz?

This is Tiffany Steele-Stone.

She'll be your buddy.

Tiffany, show Michael the ropes.

My pleasure, Mz Crah-per.

Tiffany is one of the finest students this school has ever produced.

Without great teachers, there are no great students.

Thank you.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm off to meet your delightful dads.

- Dads?

- Dads. - Choice.

- Michael, is it? - Mikey's okay.

Mikey, cute.

So, this is our classroom, okay, but you already know that.

We have a whiteboard, we have charging docks.

Okay, listen noob.

- Noob? - Yeah, noob, it means new.

- Oh. - Back to me.

I have way better things to do at lunch than show you where the toilet is.

You're on your own, Tiny.

Huh?

Tiny, it's an insult.

But I'm big.

- That's why it's funny. - 'Cause it's ironic?

What? You're weird, okay?

Thanks for the compliment.

Point made, okay?

Now, if you tell the Crapper that I didn't show you around,

you're dead meat!

[dramatic music]

[children chatting and shouting]

[upbeat music]

[food splattering]

Thanks bro.

Mind if I join you, Mahaki?

Sweet as.

Lunch of champions.

Messy as, but.

Not if you tear and dip.

Ah, tear and dip.

Indeed. The name's Jerry.

Nice to meet you.

So you're from across the ditch?

- The what? - The Tasman Sea.

- Huh? - You're from New Zealand.

Oh, yeah, me and Daddy just got here.

And Mommy?

She's not around now.

First days are hard.

Tiffany showed me around, sort of.

- Short tour? - Yeah.

She did that to me on my first day.

Hey Jerry, look out!

Jerry, chuck us the ball!

What are they playing?

Only the finest test of skill ever invented.

If you want to fit in over here,

you gotta learn how to play handball.

- Really? - You need to get in line.

[upbeat music]

I'm more of a spectator, eh.

Not today, you're not.

[upbeat music]

The rules. We play four-square here.

The player in Ace serves.

- [Mikey] So Tiff's Ace? - Precisely.

Other three squares?

King, Queen and Dunce.

Hit the ball so it bounces in your square

and lands in their square.

Aim of the game, get in Ace and stay there.

[upbeat music]

[thunder crashing]

[lion roaring]

Whoa.

Ah, yes, the Fire Drag.

Tiff's signature move.

Only 16% of kids can return it.

That is specific.

Specificity's my middle name.

Actually, it's Louis, but you get the gag.

Out here, handball's in our DNA.

Back home, everyone's obsessed with rugby.

[ball swooshing]

She's like a super robot.

At least a super robot has a weakness.

She ever been beaten?

Many have tried, and failed.

But there is still hope.

Salwa.

[upbeat music]

Hey Tiny, you're up.

[upbeat music]

You're toast.

Hey everyone, the noob's about to play.

[upbeat music]

Ah, this is a bad idea.

Good luck.

Yeah, you'll need it.

Yeah, good luck!

First time's always the hardest.

Lance, I'm psyching him out.

Oh, sorry.

But seriously, good luck.

[ball swooshing]

[Prisha] Ace!

That was some sweet spin Tiff.

Thanks.

What happens now?

You leave.

Yeah.

Next!

Don't let her get to you.

Tiff picks on 98% of new kids.

Ah, water off a duck's back.

By the way, do yo have stat for everything?

Only 84% of things.

[bell ringing]

[children yelling]

I'm very excited to welcome two of Western Sydney's

most elite socialites slash celebrities,

slash dedicated community workers,

slash property moguls who you've no doubt seen

on billboards and buses around town.

Please give a warm welcome to Jayden Steele and Bevan Stone.

[students clapping]

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Good afternoon, I'm Jayden Steele.

And I'm Bevan Stone, and together we are,

[both] Steele and Stone Partners.

You might be asking yourself,

Why are two real estate magnates at your school?

- It's a good question, Jayden. - Thanks, Bevan.

Now look, the truth is, we are thrilled to announce

that we'll be sponsoring Steele and Stone's

Inaugural Western Sydney Handball Tournament.

Or for short,

[both] SASI-WESTS-HAT.

[students cheering and clapping]

[Bevan] Yes, thank you, very exciting.

Okay, now this end-of-term tournament

will see schools in the catchment area

send their three best handball heroes

to battle it out at Emu Valley's new sporting complex.

It is a beautiful space, okay?

However, there can only be one winner, okay?

This is not a team sport.

It's last person standing, okay?

So that person will not only take home

fame, glory and bragging rights, but also,

a Steele and Stone property evaluation.

And a SASI-WESTS-HAT trophy, [makes whoosh noise] like this.

Oh yeah, but that's a mock-up.

Oh, it will be much bigger on the day.

- Yeah, um so-- - Twice the size.

Register now to avoid missing out, okay?

Just grab your little flyers, here you go.

[Ms. Crapper] One at a time, one at a time, one at a time.

[bell ringing]

[upbeat music]

Incredible.

I've been lobbying for a tournament for years.

Why are you all so obsessed?

[Jerry] You can be a nobody, but if you can play,

you'll be a somebody.

Do you, like, actually--

I'm at a level beyond merely playing.

I see things others can't see.

Jerry, look out!

[ball whizzing]

[Mikey crashing]

You all good, Jerry?

Oi, Jerry, you okay?

Impossible!

Pure power and precision!

You hit your head, bro?

I've dreamt of a shot like that.

The Blade of Destiny.

What?

Mikey, you just performed a handball miracle.

Nah, bro, I was just making sure

your melon didn't get mashed.

I live in a world of cold hard facts.

Trust me, there's something special about you.

[car horn honking]

[rock music]

Hey boy, home time.

Aunties here, gotta split. Laters.

[rock music]

Good day?

Mm hmm.

Good.

? Whoa, Black Betty, bam-a-lam Whoa, Black Betty, bam-a-lam ?

? She really gets me high, bam-a-lam ?

Grab this.

There.

[upbeat music]

[bell ringing]

- Hey. - [Salwa] Hey.

What do you want?

Um, just some Numero?

Nummorahhh.

Oh, you need a cough lolly?

That is how you say it.

Oh, Nummor-ah.

Not bad.

And some halla wet--

Halawet el Jibn.

I was gonna say that.

Cheese dough and clotted cream.

I thought this was a sweet shop.

[Salwa] Just try it.

Holy-loo-lee!

That's heaps good.

So, Jerry says you're nuts at handball.

You believe everything you hear, don't you?

She's pretty intense.

It's like she's in a cop show for grown-ups

where she plays the main detective with a dark past

but won't talk to anyone about her feelings,

but people don't mind because in the end, she gets the job done.

That actually tastes pretty good.

So, are you gonna be in the SASI-WESTS-HAT thingy?

Here.

Thanks.

Oi, take this, you'll need it.

Oh, choice.

So, what was your name again?

Salwa.

Salad?

Was just playing with you, Salwa.

[upbeat music]

Okay, I can't remember all the rules,

but I'm pretty sure the aim of the game

is to get the other person out.

Like most games, boy.

True.

Okay, I'll serve.

[Daddy groaning]

- You okay? - Yeah, big first day, that's all.

You know what?

Try one of these.

It'll make you feel better.

Oh, off cream, rotten cheese and magic rose petals.

[Daddy] Mmm.

Holy-loo-lee! Where'd you get this?

Oh, Salwa, this kid at school, works at a skux as bakery.

Day was okay?

Mm hmm.

Grab my bag, boy.

Got you some prezzies for your bedroom.

Come on.

[laid-back music]

I know this move's been�

It's a lake.

Choice, Daddy.

Coz we used to live near a lake.

Got you those stars, too, coz you like stars.

Thanks, Daddy.

Night, boy.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing.

They just waved.

? Hardball ?

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