Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language and adult themes

? Hello, it's me... ?

WATER RUNNING

? I've thought about us for a long, long time

? Maybe I think too much

? But something's wrong... ?

TOILET SEAT LID CLUNKS

? There's something here... ?

Lil... No!

No!

I forgot. I forgot.

? Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine... ?

QUIETLY: I'm confused.

BEN CLEARS THROAT

Come on, then. Two weeks watching you struggle.

Let me do it, cos you need a coffee. It's your first day, innit?

Come on.

How are you feeling?

You excited?

I got a job interview today.

Nothing writing-related,

just research work.

Oh, and I signed up for a tutoring thing as well.

I just want to be able to pay rent, you know?

I want to make sure you're as stress-free as possible.

LIL SCOFFS OK.

HE PUFFS

Knock, knock. Got your coffee.

Lil, look...

...I know we're not together right now...

...um, but I've been thinking that we could use this...

...this pain to...

...to build something new...

...or beautiful, even.

Like...

Like, maybe my infidelity just highlighted a wound that...

Are you reading off your hand?

I watched a really good TED Talk on it last night.

OK.

You need to do up my zip.

Come on, Lil. I just hate not talking to you.

Look...

...we're gonna get through this, Lil, I know we are, OK?

But until then,

I'm just gonna stay out of your way, pay my rent...

...and you just... you just do you.

I think I'm pretty limited on the "me" that I can do right now.

Look, I feel bad enough as it is, OK?

You just need to live your life as if I weren't even here.

OK, you want me to live my life exactly as I would... Yeah.

...if you weren't here?

Oh, so what? Dating?

And bringing guys back and railing them in the bedroom?

Yeah, if that's... if that's what you would do.

Would you do that?

You can do... You can do that.

I'm serious.

Have a good day.

I'm in support of anything that you...

HE PUFFS

OFFICE CHATTER, PHONES RING

It feels like I have too many legs.

Lil Henderson? Yeah. Oh, hi.

Ooh, hello. Sorry. There she is!

Sorry, I gave myself a head rush. Oh, no.

Oh, it's OK, I liked it.

It was awes... It was good. OK. Sorry, I'm just nervous.

Just feeling excited and nervous, and excited mainly. Yeah.

No, don't worry. So it's this way. Yeah.

So I'm Owen... Yeah. ...your boss or whatever,

if you want to get bogged down in labels.

Oh, yeah, who need labels? OK.

I mean, I am project manager,

and there is a good half a dozen rungs between us,

so just bear that in mind...

Absolutely. ..but at the same time, it's like, who cares?

No, yeah, totally. And I care, and who cares also?

Yeah, the engineers agreed to the roof plans. Mm.

Ooh, speaking of roofs, there's mine gone for the day.

Couldn't be hotter.

Health and safety-wise, that's mental.

Um... God, sorry, yes.

Team, this is Lil, our new junior architect.

You'll notice she is a woman.

Do not harass her - I cannot stress that enough.

Oh, yeah. That'd be... That'd be great.

Any questions, just let me know.

So, we... Yeah, I just have one question.

Isn't that a little bit small...

...for an apartment complex?

For people to fit in there? Regular ones?

OK. Well, in terms of roofs,

what we're thinking is sort of a modernist...

WHISPERS: That really bombed. WHISPERS: Oh, my God!

No-one laughed.

I'm Kas. Hi.

Kas, do you want to just talk us through scalability? Yeah.

So obviously, this is a smaller model.

The real building will be bigger on the day.

LIGHT LAUGHTER We're, um...

Ben Scott?

So, er... would you like to know my strengths and weaknesses?

Is that what...?

Is one of your weaknesses an allergy to penicillin?

I was gonna say, like, time management.

Yeah. No, this... this all looks good.

What, like, I've...? Like, I've got the job?

Yeah, if you want to call it that.

Sorry, I'm buzzing.

Great. When do I start?

Well, it sort of starts right now.

I thought it was gonna be, like, a couple of weeks at least.

Great. That's, um...

That's...

That's a syringe.

So, a couple of potential side-effects to be aware of.

Usual suspects -

fever, dizziness, nausea, heart arrhythmia, diarrhoea.

Full list is there.

Sorry, is this not the research job?

It's a medical trial, yes.

So first, we're going to inject you with a small dose

of either the virus or the placebo.

Sorry, you're gonna inject me with that?

Is this legal? Do we do that?

Yeah. It's kind of the main thing we do at a medical trial, actually.

Well, I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable with that at all.

Asking potentially vulnerable people to risk their health for money? Yeah.

Does that not seem just a little bit...

...morally dodgy?

I mean...

It's �800 per trial.

I am right-handed - is that OK?

Yeah. Yeah? Let's pop that shirt off.

Can't ask for the placebo first, can I?

Oh, wouldn't that be great?

Yeah, no.

PHONE CAMERA CLICKS

Maybe do one a little more neutral.

The lanyard's vibe is a bit more passport-y.

Right. Nice.

Brand-new to London, then? Yeah. Whereabouts are you living?

South, I think? I don't know.

I just go beep-boop on my phone and go where it tells me.

Are you in a house-share? Kinda.

I'm, like, unintentionally living with my ex.

OK. Wow, it's perfect.

How's that going? I'd say it's really bad.

Um, it's a little bit like...

You know that cartoon of, like, that dog thing

that's, like, running off this cliff,

and then, like, he only notices he's gonna die

when he, like, stops and he looks down?

That's basically me.

But if I just, like, keep running and I don't look down,

and I don't think about the fact

that I am permanently uncomfortable in my own home,

then it's like, "Yeah, I'm not gonna die," you know?

Er... What? Um...

It's really not my place to say. No, please do.

I just said a bunch of stuff, so if you could say one thing.

It does get easier. Yeah? Mm-hm.

It's not always this... there, y'know?

When me and my ex broke up,

I think I genuinely felt like shit till I went out with someone else.

Even if I was just performing it...

...it felt good to have an outlet.

And now look at me. Why? Are you super happy and in love?

I am...

...so single.

Hello. Oh. Oh.

Are either of you interested in a pub crawl tonight?

Oh, I can't tonight.

I'm sorry, Owen. I'm not interested. Yeah. Good.

Well, I was half-joking anyway.

Um, all right, see you later.

Lucinda! My girl. What say you to...?

Is he OK?

Deeply unwell man.

SHE SOBS

I'm OK.

It's OK.

Oh, sorry.

Weird call on my part.

And he still hasn't said who the girl was?

No, but I'm, like... I'm choosing to rise above it.

Like, I don't really need to know that any more.

I can tell you're looking at something.

I googled, "Leeds, girl, young."

Nothing comes up.

It doesn't matter, cos I'm gonna go on a hot date tonight.

What? Oh, my God! Yeah.

Ben basically pushed me to do it.

His name is Rob, he's 29 and he works in publishing.

Wow, Ben's gonna hate that. Yeah, I know.

I swiped through, like, 400 consultants just to find him.

Are you actually gonna do stuff?

I mean, I think I have to, to, like, get over Ben. OK.

Why are you doing that face?

It just feels really real, and kind of like you're cheating on Ben,

which now I've said it out loud,

I realise, like, it's kind of insane, but...

Are you sure you want to do this?

Well, now that you're talking to me like that, no.

Do you think I'm being crazy?

Do you think I need to see a therapist or something? No.

Therapy's for people with bad friends.

SHOUTING ON PHONE - Oh. Was that a scream? - Mm.

Where are you?

I'm in a hospital, being induced. LOL. What?

Kira, you're in the hospital? Yeah.

Apparently my water broke, but I'm not in labour or something,

so I have to get medically fingered.

Oh, my God, honey, that makes two of us.

Oh, you're disgusting, but I support it.

Hiya! DOOR CLOSES

WHISPERS: Shit. You all right?

Can I get you anything? No.

Don't talk to me, I'm in the bath. KIRA LAUGHS

Did you hear that? He's a psychopath.

I actually can't believe this is your life.

How was your first day? I'm in the bath!

God, he's relentless.

I've got to go. I love you. Good luck having a baby.

Thanks, mate. Bye.

Ugh... I'm gonna take the rubbish out.

BUBBLING

- Oh! - Ooh.F... SHE CHUCKLES

Really selling me on the whole "not being a stalker" thing.

Sorry, I, um...

I thought I saw some unopened food, but I don't know where it is now.

Absolutely. Mm-hm. Yeah.

Um, we haven't officially...

I'm Frances, from the deodorant.

I'm Ben. Ooh.

OK. Nice to meet you.

I think you and your husband live in the flat above us.

Oh. Heard anything?

Er, no.

You're still in the bin.

Bin-diving is actually a thing, you know?

I saw this guy do it on YouTube. He got, like, 40 M&S steaks.

Oh, wow.

Presumably, he was doing it in the M&S bins,

not the big bins outside of a block of flats.

So, London... Thank you.

It's brutal at the start.

Does it get any better? I think so.

London's like that grumpy uncle at Christmas

that you can never quite crack, you know?

Like, he's rude and mean and cold-hearted,

but when he lets you in, it's like a warm bath...

...with your uncle.

Sounds awful. Yeah, I really lost my way with that one.

Oh, here!

Hmm. Cheese and onion.

Lucky boy!

Well, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. FRANCES CHUCKLES SOFTLY

Are you all right? Do you want some tea?

Why are you grey?

Am I? I, er...

I shouldn't be. It must be all that hard water.

You're ashen. You look like someone people run half marathons for.

I feel great. I got the job that I interviewed for today, so...

...should have a little bit of money coming in, which is good,

and I didn't even have to do anything, really...

Yeah, great. Listen, buddy,

if you're gonna skulk around the flat tonight,

can you do it quietly?

Cos I actually have a date coming over to the house.

Um, you have a...?

Coming over here tonight, then? Yeah.

I'm just, er, "doing me." Yeah. Cool.

That's what we said.

And, er... that's what you want to do, then?

You want to start seeing other people?

Yeah.

Any tips?

Seeing as you've got recent experience.

And eat a vegetable - you look fucked up.

DOOR CLOSES

DOORBELL RINGS

That's my date. Don't open!

HE PUFFS All right, let's be having you.

Er, Lil?

You all right? She'll just be a second, mate.

Cheers.

You come...? Come from far?

From school?

Lil?

I still want to support you, but it looks like your date is a kid.

Ben, that's not my date, obviously.

Um, I'm Brandon -

for tutoring.

Tutoring! Oh, yeah. Oh. Today?

My mum asked if you were DBS-checked.

DBS - is that the paedo one?

Ben, you can't tutor here.

Er, well, looks like I am, doesn't it?

Come on in, little guy. Sorry, buddy, the house is occupied.

Do you want a glass of milk or summat?

You can't be here tonight. Sorry, you have to go.

Just through there. Uh-uh. Drop your bag off. I'll be in in a sec.

Don't drop your bag. Ben, what? Are you freaking kidding me? What?

You said I could have somebody over tonight.

I didn't even know he was coming, did I?

Now you're home-schooling...?

It's not my fault. I didn't even know... This is classic you...

Why is there a sleeping bag on the sofa?

Yeah, why? Tell him.

Er... Just doing a bit of camping, mate.

LIL LAUGHS

I am boiling.

Are you warm?

Oh, my God, Rob! Honestly, take a layer off if you're warm, mate.

Er... Right, so, stories.

So what I usually like to do as a writer

is a thing called free associate - you heard of it? No.

Cos it is actually quite hard to think of an idea

once you get going, you know?

All right, well, I think I have an idea.

Oh, really? Well, go on, let's hear it, then.

All right. Well, it's, um...

It's about this clock, and the clock ticks backwards, right?

So you think that it's not working,

but, actually, it transports people back in time.

I'm gonna call it The Wrong Clock.

All right. Um...

That is actually... That is quite something, actually.

A great place to jump off from.

Yeah, I guess it is funny to be from Surrey.

No, it's just how you say things - it just, um, really gets me.

So your profile says you're an architect? Mm.

Yeah, I love that. Mm.

I love the way that buildings can be a response

to their cultural context.

Rob!

Sorry, are they being too loud for you in there, mate?

She's laughing a lot, innit?

And, er, your profile said

you love, er... you love books and stuff? Oh, yeah.

I don't know how I'd live without books, honestly.

It's embarrassing, but sometimes, I go on my phone

and I actually try and call the characters

from whatever book I'm reading.

Like, they're that real to me. Totally.

I've got goose bumps just thinking about it.

For sure. For sure.

Sorry, don't mind me. I'm just looking for candles.

Can you google if it's OK to feel your heartbeat in your tongue,

please, Brandon?

I'm coming!

He works in books.

The candles are here, Lil.

BEN SIGHS What's wrong with you?

Did that kid put something in your drink?

I think I'm dying.

OK, well, my condolences, but I have a mood to set next door.

Yeah, well, make sure his cardigan doesn't set on fire, eh? OK.

Don't worry, he'll take that off.

What about Daddy's signet ring? Is that coming off as well, huh?

Oh, what, you're really observant, huh? You jealous?

No offence, but my mum's kind of paying you to teach me, so...

So rude. So rude.

OK, I'll, er...

...let you boys get back to it.

Um, I'm not the only one with a hot date tonight.

? They don't make them like they used to

? They don't make them any more... ?

Just look at me.

And you know what you would and wouldn't do, and then...

...one day, summat happens that just...

...throws all to shit, you know? PENCIL CASE ZIPS UP

Oh, sorry.

I don't even know why I did it, Brandon.

That's the worst part about it.

Like, I don't have one logical reason...

BEN SNIFFS

...as to why I would do it, because I had it so good, man.

O-o-oh, I had it so good.

All right, I feel like we should leave it there.

Why? My mum's here.

Well done today, mate.

Yeah, man... you too.

Same time next week?

BEN GROANS

DOOR CLOSES

? All in me All in me

? Everything I need... ?

Do you like this?

I'd actually quite like it to stop.

Is it not doing anything for you?

I just like to be acquainted with someone before any of the...

"Acquainted"? What? All right, Bronte.

Why'd I pick such a girly-ass boy?

Why'd I pick such a fucking soft boy?

Oh, look, I'd still love to get to know you.

Rob, I don't want you to get to know me, OK?

I want you to make me forget that I even exist.

? Everything I need... ?

Is this about the guy out there?

OK, yeah, very perceptive, Mr Emotion,

Mr I Respect Women, Mr I Love Consent.

I do like consent, yeah.

? All in me Everything I need... ?

Listen, are we gonna fuck or not?

? Inside of me... ?

I don't think we are, no.

? All in me All in me... ?

Shall we see what's on MUBI?

BEN GROANS

This is definitely not a placebo.

BEN GROANS Hey, man.

Sorry, I just...

Looking to grab some charge to get an Uber. Oh.

You work in publishing, is that right?

That's right, innit? Yeah.

I'm a... I'm a writer, did you know that?

I didn't. That's awesome.

Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber, Uber.

I've sent so many emails, man.

So many...

...beggy fucking emails.

Ah, yeah, it's hard getting your foot in the door, isn't it?

It's tough, you know?

You've just got to... keep writing, you know?

Yeah.

Is this yours?

It's actually pretty fun.

The Wrong Clock.

Is it, like, a... like, a time travel YA thing? Hmm?

And the hands spin backwards.

OK, yeah.

There's something super simple about that clock image, isn't there?

It's, like, a... Like, a really fun motif.

What are you saying? You like the clock story?

Sorry, I'm being nosy. It's just, um...

BEN SIGHS

...we're on a really big push for YA stuff right now,

and this is...

Has anyone read this?

Um...

No, no, but I definitely wrote it.

OK, well, um... Hey, maybe we can set up a meeting.

Do you want to give me your email?

Er, email, yeah.

Er, watch out.

I think you may have just got your foot stuck in the door there, mate.

Coo-coo!

Found this little guy roaming the walkway.

I didn't know you had a kid.

Um, excuse me, who are you?

Ben, we meet at last.

And who's this? Oh, my God.

I love your jawline. I'm Jos.

You all right, Brandon? Yeah, I'm just looking for my notebook.

Oh, sorry, that's... That's his one, no? Mm-hm.

His story The Wrong Clock's in that one.

HIS story? Yeah. No, this is MY story.

No, he's confused.

Oh, you're still here?

Hey, queen. What the hell? You're in my house again?

Oh, God, I see what's going on here - a little menage a trois.

Come on. No. Did you just steal a book idea from a teenager?

No, I wouldn't do that. OK, I'm really confused right now.

Who wrote The Wrong Clock? ALL: I did.

Brandon... Ben, what's wrong with you?

Yeah, that is crazy. I was gonna buy that. Huh? What?

Could buy it off me, then. What?

If you were gonna buy it off him, you can buy it off me.

20 grand. That's...

Ten, but I keep the movie rights.

You're a kid. I can't go into business with a kid.

THEY ALL GASP

I was sick.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

What?

Brandon, come on. Let's go. Super weird date. Stop.

BEN VOMITS Do...? OK.

Did you inject yourself with a virus for money?

Mm-hm. Yeah.

LIL CHUCKLES

PHONE VIBRATES AND CHIMES

Oh, my God, Kira had the baby!

Ooh!

It's so cute.

Oh!

Cute.

? Hello, it's me... ?

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