Original subtitles

Bring in the bags.

Sure.

Howdy.

How are ya?

You got a couple of rooms there, four of us.

Yes, sir.

Two right in front, joinin' each other.

Rope and case of fire, bed with regular springs, every convenience.

Bathroom's right at the end of the hall.

Here's the register.

Help yourself.

Thank you.

How much are they?

They'll be two dollars a room.

That's European, without meals.

What's the matter?

Don't the Europeans eat?

Any mail for me?

I'm Ed Hatch.

Nope, ain't seen none.

Well, you must have a letter from New York.

Maybe you sent it back.

Nope, ain't been no mail in over a week.

Nothin' but a Joplin paper.

I can't understand what's happened to Cookie.

I haven't heard from her in five days.

Well, once she saw the names of the towns we've been in,

maybe she thought you was kiddin'.

I did.

What are y'all, show folks?

Show folks?

My friend, you are now gazing at Joe Skopapoulos,

the great wrestler and his entourage.

I'm Mr. Skopapoulos' owner.

This is Mr. Ward, my assistant

Mr. Brunson, the trainer

and that is Joe Skopapoulos himself.

Of course, he's a whopper, ain't he?

My friend, you're putting it mildly.

Joe Skopapoulos, the ponderous pachyderm of grunt and groan.

The wrestling Hercules, is the next heavyweight champion of the world.

Say somethin', Joe.

When do we eat?

You see?

Boy!

Gee, I wish there was [garbled]

Quit beefing, will ya?

I don't blame him.

We should have stayed east, like I told 'em.

Where's the percentage and wild cat and these flagstaffs?

Joe's gotta make a name for himself, don't he?

He will.

He'll make a name for bein' a jinx.

Look at us.

We've been barnstormin' for months.

We've unveiled that gorilla that walks like a man in every tank town west of Hoboken.

And where are we?

Russell City, Missouri.

With no dough and no dates.

Aw, listen, quit worryin', will ya?

I just got a hot tip from the proprietor of this joint.

He says there's a guy in the next town named Davis that runs the Trick Sport Club.

He says it's a wide-awake, up-and-coming joint.

So what?

Well, so what?

So I go over there tomorrow and I try to get a match for Joe.

Even if he's got a rustlin' overgrown rooster.

He'll probably have to.

Hey, I ain't gonna rassle no rooster.

Go ahead, Joe.

You can saw him.

♪ He'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. ♪

♪ Dig me a grave in Missouri ♪

♪ Out where a tired man can rest ♪

♪ Bury my shotgun beside me ♪

♪ A corn liquor jug on my chest ♪

♪ Hide me away in the Ozarks ♪

♪ Don's put no stone in my head ♪

♪ Plant me where my wife can't find me ♪

♪ Then I'll live in peace when I'm dead ♪

[ ♪ Instrumental saw music ♪ ]

[ ♪ Orchestra plays ♪ ]

♪ I'll take my shotgun a'huntin ♪

♪ Drink from my jug when I'm dry ♪

[ ♪ Flute plays ♪ ]

[CROWD] ♪ If I should die by the sudden ♪

♪ Just tell the old folks goodbye ♪

♪ Dig me a grave in Missouri ♪

♪ But don't call me in till I die ♪

Well, well, well, well, well...

Now that's mighty fine music, folks.

Very entertaining.

Which one of you gentlemen is Mr. Davis?

I'm Davis.

Well, how do you do, Mr. Davis?

How do you do?

My name is Hatch, Ed Hatch.

I know you by reputation, Mr. Davis.

Heard a lot about the fine work you've been doing here with the sports club.

I'm pleased to meet you.

Meet Mr. Davis.

How do you do, Mr. Davis?

Howdy.

And this is Oliver Biffin.

Mr. Biffin?

I heard your sport does been pretty active, Mr. Davis.

I thought maybe you boys might be interested in putting on a big-time wrestling bout.

You know, make a nice hunk of dough for yourselves.

Well, sounds like a good idea, but who are we gonna get to wrestle?

Oh, I'm gonna let you in on a good thing, Mr. Davis.

I'm touring Joe Skopapoulos, the wrestling Hercules.

Now, we can work up a match with one of your own boys.

Create local interest.

All we need's a fella with enough weight and nose holes enough to get in the ring

there and give the crowd their money's worth.

Well, I don't know of anybody around here that's fit.

Do you, Ollie?

Nope.

Well, it looks like we can't do any business.

Too bad.

We sure could use that money.

Thanks anyway, Mr. Davis.

You've got a mighty fine, wide-awake enterprising town.

Well, if you scare up anything, let me know.

I'd like to get up sometime with Farah.

Decoration day's comin' up.

So would I.

[ Chickens squawking ]

[Car backfires]

Hello Boys. I'm here.

Oh.

Hello, Cookie.

Surprise.

Where's Ed?

Out arrangin' a match.

What are you doin' here?

Well, I thought I wouldn't wait for Ed to send for me.

But I read about the tour bein' so triumphal, I thought I'd come right down without even writin'.

Look, I spent every cent I saved on my trousseau.

[CORRECTING] Trousseau.

Yeah, sure.

I got it all right here in my trunk.

Now, Ed and me can get married, and we can use the tour for our honeymoon.

You don't travel around.

Oh, my, I'm so excited, I can hardly talk.

Well, you're doin' all right.

Am I? Oh, fine.

Now, listen.

When you see Ed, don't tell him I'm here, will ya?

I wanna walk into his room, careless-like, and say, Hello, Ed.

Just like that.

Hello, Ed.

Where does the minister live?

He'll fall right over.

That's what I've been thinkin'.

Well, come on, boys.

Help me in with my things.

Come on, hurry up.

Oh, cut it out, will ya?

Hey Rufe look. Another one.

I saw it first.

I'll be derned if you did.

Hey, kids, anybody around here can give me any help?

Listen, little girl.

Hey, hey, stop that, will ya?

Leave it alone.

I've got trouble enough.

Cut it out, will ya?

Are ya stuck, mister?

Yeah, what's so funny about it?

Anybody up in that barn?

Ah, that ain't a barn.

That's a blacksmith shop.

Well, is the blacksmith up there?

Sure.

[All Kies Yelling] Ma!

[All Kies Yelling] Ma!

[All Kids] A fella wants ta see ya!

[All Kies Yelling] Ma!

[All Kies Yelling] Ma!

What's ya screaming fur!

[All Kids] Fella wants ta see ya!

♪ Oh, dig me a grave in Missouri ♪

You young'uns, get out of thar.

Come on, now.

The whole kit of ya.

Fellers stuck, Ma.

I know it.

Get goin'.

Get on now.

Go on. [Garbled]

You're in there for sure, all right.

Yeah, looks like it.

Cost y'all four-bist to get out of there.

Okay.

Where's the blacksmith?

Right here.

I'm the blacksmith, mister.

What, a lady blacksmith?

That's right.

If you need any help, I reckon I'll have to do.

I don't know nothin' about them things when it comes to doin' any tinkerin',

but I allow as how I know enough to get'm out of the mud.

Thow y'are.

Where's the four-bits, mister?

Hey.

Hey, do you want a wrassell?

What fer?

Oh, for money.

Sure.

Hey, listen, wait, wait.

I didn't mean me.

Oh, no, listen, stop.

Let me up will ya?

Say, hootie-owl.

No, no, I'll tell her.

Listen, let me up.

Say, hootie-owl.

All right, all right, hootie-owl.

Listen, I come from New York now, and I want to...

All set, China.

We're in the money.

Ed! Oh, oh, gee.

When did you get in?

Two days ago.

Ain't you glad?

Well, sure I am, but why didn't you write?

Well, I wanted to surprise you.

When I read the Sportin' World

about how well you've been doin'.

Honest, I couldn't hardly wait to buy my trousseau.

What?

Why, what's the matter?

We can get married now, can't we, Ed?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Didn't the boys tell you anything?

Tell me what?

Well, cookie, you can't believe everything you read in the sport magazines.

You mean it ain't true how well you've been doin'?

Well, no, it ain't exactly true.

You see, I sent that particular item in myself.

Oh, but it's gonna be all right.

We got a great match lined up.

Goodbye.

Oh, wait a minute, cookie.

I'm goin' home.

Well, you don't wanna do that.

Yes, I do.

Now, look here, Ed.

I come down here expecting a wedding, and what do I get?

The same old story, just hopes.

Ed, somethin' tells me you and me ain't never gonna get married.

Oh, baby, you never were more wrong in your life.

I tell ya, I got a great match lined up.

I'm gonna build Joe up into the big money.

You're gonna see his name up in lights over Madison Square Garden.

And you and I in a swell apartment house overlooking Central Park.

You told me that before, Ed.

Oh, but this time it's gonna be true.

Well, it sounds all right.

Oh, it's gonna be all right.

Now, sit down and relax, will ya?

Come on, pack.

What about this match?

You got me all excited.

You ever hear of Plunkett?

What is it, a place or a game?

No, it's a town about 30 miles from here, over in the Ozarks where the Hillbillies come from.

Who's he meetin'?

A blacksmith.

We get half the take.

I fixed it with old man Davis so we could eat and sleep free until the match comes on.

What does a blacksmith get?

A hundred for stayin' with Joe half an hour.

He ain't got a chance.

I know it, but the big hick's gotta get him to buy a fancy bedroom set.

A fancy bedroom set?

What's he gonna do with it?

Put a horse in it?

Oh, I forgot to tell ya.

He's a lady blacksmith.

A lady blacksmith?

Now, don't jump me. I done the best I could.

Doc, are you crazy?

You mean to say you match Joe with a dame?

I tell ya, I had to. My back was to the wall.

Back or no back, you shouldn't have done it, Ed.

You certainly shouldn't.

Now, what else am I gonna do?

We gotta eat, don't we?

Matchin' Joe with a dame.

Well, listen, I'd match him with an ape if the customers could tell him apart.

Yeah, but Joe's not in any condition to wrestle with a woman.

Oh, now, what are you talkin' about?

He'll have her on the mat in five minutes.

And our gettin' married depends on a match like that.

Cookie, will you quit grabbin' novelies, what they want nowadays?

You'll get novelty, all right.

And get this.

Nobody tips Joe off about his rastlin' a dame until I'm ready to tell him.

We gotta break it to him easy.

Hello, Ed.

Did you have any luck?

You bet I did.

I got a great match lined up.

Tell you all about it later.

How do you feel, Joe?

I don't feel so good.

Oh, he feels fine as silk.

Look what he picked.

Dandelions.

Yeah, well, never mind the dandelions.

Get in there and pack.

We'll leave in right away, Joe.

Oh, Joe, hurry up.

[ ♪ Singing ♪]

Ed: Ah, stop being so happy!

You know what I like about this life.

The uncertainty.

Hello, Maple.

Ah!!

You keep away from me, you ornery critter.

Come on, Cookie, get your bags packed.

We're Ieavin'.

Well, all right, Ed, but if this match don't work out, I'm goin' back to New York.

[Crashing Sound]

Joe!

- Joe - Joe - What happend? - Joe - Joe.

What did he do?

What's the matter.

He's fainted!

Come to Joe. Come to!

And the next time I hit that critter, it'll take more'n water to bring'm to.

What is all this?

What's she doin' up there?

You might as well know, Ed.

Since you've been away, Joe's been actin' awful.

F-U-N-N-Y.

What are you talkin' about?

W-O-M-E-N.

That's why we were so scared when you matched him with a G-I-R-L.

You better call off the match, I tell ya.

Call off nothin'.

If he tries to pull any of that stuff on me, I'll...

Wait a minute, Ed, wait a minute.

Don't get him all U-P-S-E-T again.

Oh, gee.

Talk United States will ya?

All right, fellas.

Come on.

Gang way.

Gang way.

♪ Oh, the old apple tree in the orchard ♪

♪ Lives in my memory ♪

♪ 'Cause it reminds me of my pappy ♪

♪ He was handsome, young, and happy ♪

♪ When he planted the old apple tree ♪

♪ Then one day pappy took Sister Norton ♪

♪ - Out on a jamboree - ...jamboree ♪

♪ And when he took her home at sunup ♪

♪ Brother Norton raised his gun up ♪

♪ and he chased Pappy up in the tree ♪

♪ - When the neighbors came after my pappy, poor pappy ♪

♪ Up in the tree was he. ♪

♪ Thy neighbors took a rope and strung him ♪

♪ - by the neck. - And then they hung him ♪

♪ - to a branch of the old apple tree. - apple tree ♪

♪ Now my poor Pappy lies in, in the orchard ♪

♪ out on his misery ♪

♪ They put the apples in a basket ♪

♪ chopped the tree down for a casket ♪

♪ Now my poor Pappy's gone with the tree ♪

♪ - Say goodbye - say goodbye ♪

♪ - Say goodbye - say goodbye ♪

♪ Say goodbye to the old apple tree ♪

♪ If my pappy had-a knowed it ♪

♪ He'd be sorry that he growed it ♪

♪ 'Cause he died on the old apple tree ♪

Gee, that was beautiful.

Sister Norton's beautiful.

Sure good for cryin'.

If you like cryin'.

Oh, I love it.

You see, I guess I'm just a hillbilly at heart.

Sure enough.

♪ I was born in the hills of Manhattan ♪

♪ Way back in NYC ♪

♪ but the only tree I saw there ♪

♪ was proteced by the law ♪

♪ there was a sign reading 'This is a Tree' ♪

♪ I have not had a broad education ♪

♪ when it comes to the old apple tree ♪

♪ I'm just a hillbilly from 10th Avenue ♪

♪ The hills of Central Park were all I knew ♪

CHORUS: Fa la la la la la.

♪ That's where the roses grow on vines ♪

♪ Among 'Don't Pick the Flowers' signs ♪

♪ and every cop you pass ♪

♪ yells out 'Keep off the grass' ♪

♪ Though I was raised on the sidewalks of New York ♪

♪ I learned to sing before I learned to talk ♪

♪ Though I like rythm songs it seems ♪

♪ give me a mountain long to do ♪

♪ I'm just a hillbilly from 10th Avenue ♪

ALL: ♪ When, if you find mountain music ♪

♪ just join right in and sing ♪

♪ But when I sing mountain music ♪

♪ it has to have a ring ♪

♪ Oh the old apple tree in the orchard ♪

♪ may be living in your memory ♪

♪ But if you brung your pappy up in rythm ♪

♪ if the tree had found his rythm ♪

♪ he'd be here with ye'old apple tree ♪

♪ There's thy'n ♪

♪ ALL: That's good ♪

♪ There's me ♪

♪ ALL: Now then... ♪

♪ - Oh the old apple tree in the orchard ♪ - Whoo huh!

♪ Might have had a different history ♪

♪ but the tree was too dog gone old-fashioned ♪

♪ didn't have that swing or dash'n ♪

♪ - So they cut down that old apple tree ♪ - Whoo!

♪ ALL: Say goodbye... say goodbye ♪

♪ ALL: Say goodbye to the old apple tree ♪

♪ ALL: Say goodbye... say goodbye ♪

♪ ALL: Say goodbye to the old apple tree ♪

♪ - Say goodbye - ALL: Say goodbye ♪

♪ - Say goodbye - ALL: Say goodbye ♪

♪ ALL: Say goodbye to the old apple tree. ♪

[ Applause ]

♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. ♪

♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. ♪

♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain... ♪

Fat Joe!

Fat Joe!

Which way do you suppose he went?

Ah he probably went up some tree like any other ape.

Eeny, meeny, miney, moe, let's try this road.

[ Donkey Braying ] Hee haa haa haa haa haa.

[ Hammering Noise ]

♪ She's coming around the moutain ♪

[Ducks honk in freight]

♪ She's coming around the moutain when she comes ♪

[Ducks quack]

Stand back now.

I ain't a scared of ya even if you are crazy.

I ain't gonna hurt ya.

Can I have a drink of water?

Ah, help yourself.

But stay your distance.

I got my eye on yee.

[Donkey Brays]

Hey, what's that horse lookin' at me for?

Well, I lowed how he ain't never seen the likes of you afore.

Go on, get your water.

Gee, you're a big one, ain't ya?

Big enough to take care of myself after you start somethin'.

Oh, I ain't gonna start nothin'.

Well, you got your water, now get.

Say.

I told you to get.

Listen, I ain't crazy.

Honest, I ain't.

Well, whatcha up to, skippin' round the timber in your under drawers?

I got a sweat.

What in ternation you got a sweat for?

To keep in shape.

Say, how much you figure you weigh, huh?

Whatcha wanna know, Fer?

Oh, I only asked.

I like big girls.

You ain't so dang puny yourself.

Say, mister, who in the name of Gee-Roos-La-Mary you anyway?

Joe Scoppapoolis.

Huh?

Joe Scoppapoolis.

What are you, Italian?

No.

I'm a great catcher.

Come on, now.

Come on, now.

You got kids, huh?

Sure have.

Three of them.

Say, uh, no man home?

No.

Last I see to him, he was goin' out possum huntin'.

Back soon, huh?

Well, I don't reckon.

That was 11 year ago.

[ Distant thunder ]

Say, mister, you better get goin'.

Hears like it's clabberin' up for rain.

Oh, I ain't got no place to go.

Well, what you do for a livin'?

Grapplin'.

Huh?

Grapplin'.

You know.

Wrasslin'.

I gotta rassle some loca fella here.

Decoration day for some club or somethin'.

Well, shut my cord.

Huh?

Ain't they told you who you're wasslin'?

Oh, it don't mean nothin' to me.

Doc says rassle, and I just rassle.

Well, I'll be hung to door.

Ha!

It's me you're rasslin', mister.

Gee.

A dame?

Well, you're a dame.

Sure I am.

And your manager says he'd pay a hundred dollar note if I'd rassle a fella.

What's the matter with Doc, anyway?

I might've known he was up to somethin' the way him and Popeye and Cookie was spellin'.

Ah Gee, me wrasslin' dames.

Ain't you never fit women folks before?

You don't know much, do ya?

Oh, what's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it?

Well, it ain't in the book.

It ain't right.

Wrasslin' dames.

Well, looky here, mister.

You ain't aimin' to do me out of my chance to get a hundred dollars.

Say, I want that hundred worse than pies than I aim to get it.

Yeah?

To buy me somethin' I've been hankerin' after for a coon's age.

A four-piece golden oak bedroom suit.

Wildo Davis got in the store window down in Plunkett.

Bedroom suit?

You mean nightshirt.

Good ganny, your ignorance.

Listen.

What's your name?

Horn.

Sadie Horn.

Well, look, Sadie.

I like you.

I'm gonna let you in on somethin'.

I wouldn't do you no good if I did wrassle ya.

There's a catch in it, see?

Day ain't gonna give you a nickel unless you stay on the mat with me thirty minutes.

That's a half hour.

Didn't you see your way clear to let me stay that half hour?

Just so as not to get my bedroom suit.

No.

No, nothin' doin'.

Well, then I reckon I gotta take my chances.

Gee, I gotta hand it to you for nerve.

Why, I could tear you apart.

I could tie you into a pretzel in no time.

You know Pete Kazookas?

No.

Weighs 245 strip.

Knows all the holes.

I pinned him in ten flat.

You mean you made him stay Booty owl?

Look, I got him like this in a half Nelson, see?

He's on one shoulder.

He's goin', he's goin', then he rolls me.

But I'm too smart for him.

I kicks him in the bread basket, and he gets me in the toe hold.

Oh, I'm sufferin'.

I try for the ropes.

I can't make it.

I can't take it, but I won't give up.

Then I clunk him in the chin with my head, and I break it.

And I'm up, and he's up.

We're like two tigers in the woods.

And I triple.

He's down.

He's grabby.

I jump on him.

We're both down.

But I'm up.

I grab him in the crotch hold.

I run a, an aeroplane spin.

And run.

And run.

And the merry-go-round.

And run.

And heave him into the customers.

The winner.

Chisel my tombstone.

Is that what you're aiming to do to me?

Well, I ain't sayin'.

Well ya ain't gonna scare me none.

I don't doubt you're as good as you say, but... Feel my muscle.

And see if you still wanna wrassle me.

Go on.

Feel it.

[Whistles]

How about I feel yours?

Go ahead. Feel it.

Well?

How about it?

Yeah.

Gee.

What you lookin' at me like that for?

You're a pretty one, all right.

Shucks...

Gee, fellas, will you leave me alone?

Come on, Joe.

Quit stallin'.

I'm askin' ya once more.

Where was you till after midnight?

I tell ya, I don't know nothin'.

Listen, Stoubert.

What's the idear of givin' us the slip.

Who give you a slip?

We're askin' the questions.

What do you wanna know?

Right here, Pip.

Listen, Joe.

We're your friends.

Was you out in the hills?

Hills?

Yeah.

Hills.

Y'know.

Hills.

Was it rough goin'?

Yeah, Popeye.

It was awful rough.

Here, let me handle this.

What did you do when it rained?

I left it rain.

Oh, gee.

Why don't you leave me alone?

I don't feel so good.

And why don't you feel so good?

Answer me that.

Tellin' us you don't know where you've been.

That's right.

What's right?

I don't know where I've been.

Now, listen, you conniving baboon.

I'm givin' you one more chance.

What was you doin' up in them hills last night?

Oh so you won't talk.

Well no clown's gonna give me the Mexican standoff.

I'll make you talk.

Take him out and run him 50 times around the field, Popeye.

Come on, Joe.

Oh, gee, Doc.

Make it 75, and don't bring him back with his tongues hangin' out.

All right, have a heart.

75 times around that field is a lot of exercise for me.

35.

36.

I don't care what you do, but I told you not to let him out of your sight.

- Listen. - It is. Where's Joe?

He's outside runnin' around the ring.

You gotta get him in hear quick.

Why?

You gotta tell him right away who he's gonna wrestle.

I mean, what sex she's a member of.

Hey, listen, haven't I got troubles enough without you comin' in here springin' riddles on me?

What are you talkin' about?

Waldo Davis is bringin' Sadie Horne over.

They're on their way now.

What?

Waldo says as long as they're gonna wrestle, they oughta meet.

But that's just what they ain't oughta do.

I don't care what Waldo says.

I'm runnin' this show, not Waldo.

I know you're right, Ed.

But Sadie's comin', I tell ya.

And you've gotta break it to Joe first.

Popeye's right, Ed. It's the only way out.

All right, get him in here, but I'm warnin' you, you're gonna kick the match right out the window.

Listen, I never figured it was a match anyway.

Gee, Ed, supposin' he don't take it.

Supposin' he gets pig-headed and won't wrestle.

Supposin', supposin', supposin'.

That's just why I don't want her to meet till I push him in the ring.

But, oh, but, Ed, you can talk him into it.

Now, listen, baby.

I know everything there is to know about wrestling.

I can promote a match from podunk to the garden.

I can make a wrestler out of a soda-jerker.

But I don't know how to tell that slap-happy donkey he's got to wrestle the dame.

Well, I had an idea on the way over, and... Well, let's have it.

Well you see Ed, you can get at it like this.

You know, there are two kinds of people.

Men and women.

Just because women are a little bit different than men don't mean they can't wrassle once in a while.

I mean if they're strong enough.

Is that it?

Yeah.

Oh, that's a lot of help.

Well, you could try it, Ed.

Joe don't know so much about things like that.

Why, Joe!

How are ya?

I don't feel so good.

Aw, say, that's too bad.

Where's Popeye and Shiner?

They said they was goin' for a long walk.

Well Come on in Joe, and sit down.

Aw, now, Joe, don't be afraid.

Come right in here. I won't hurt ya.

Now, just sit right down over here, Joe.

- It's alright, Joe. - Here let me take your cap.

Now, listen, Joe. I was mad at you, you know.

You know, kinda lost my head, but that's all over.

Now I got a little surprise for you.

A big surprise?

Yeah, it's about the clink you made in decoration day.

What about'm.

Now, Joe.

E-A-Z-Y - Now easy Joe, easy.

Now, look, Joe.

You always said I was a smart manager, didn't you?

Now, look, just because I always done a thing, you know, one way

there's no reason why I can't turn right around and then do it another way.

- Well, what I'm tryin' to tell you, Joe, is tha... - Look, Joe, what Ed means is this.

You see, we're not all the same kind of people.

It's like the flowers and the birds.

There's really two kinds.

What about flowers?

Well, it's like what I said.

If there wasn't both kinds, there wouldn't be any more flowers.

One's one kind, and one's the other.

Get it?

No.

Well, it's the same way with people.

Now, you take Ed and me.

Ed's a man, and I'm a girl.

And if there wasn't both kinds, well, you know what'd happen.

What's that got to do with Decoration Day?

Hey, you're gettin' him all balled up.

No, I'm not, Ed.

It's got a lot to do with Decoration Day, Joe.

Cause if you wasn't a flower, I mean the right kind of flower

you wouldn't be wrasslin' on Decoration Day.

But that don't mean that the flower that's gonna be in the ring,

the one you're gonna meet,

is the same kind of a flower as you are.

It's like, you know, dandelions.

They're different.

And there's gotta be all kinds of dandelions.

Hey, how many's in that ring, huh?

Just two, Joe.

You see, what she's tryin' to tell you is that when you're one kind of a...

Ed, I'm not finished.

You're finished and I'm finished.

This is the idea.

The lug you're meetin' is a quilt.

Uh-huh.

He don't get it, Ed.

Oh, don't you understand, Joe?

It's a dame you gotta wrassle, a skirt.

You know Joe, a woman.

The other kind.

Well, ain't you gonna do anything?

Ain't you sore or anything?

No, I ain't sore.

Say, which one of us is Daffy?

It was the birds, Ed, and the flowers.

I got it.

What's the idea?

Search me?

Maybe he's savin' up for a horse.

Is it all over?

Yeah, come on in.

How'd he take it?

Okay, but he's actin' kinda funny.

You better keep an eye on him.

Come on, Cookie.

And say, get him into some clean clothes.

Hiya.

How'd you get off, Ed?

Oh, Sam, get over there.

Come on.

Well, here I am, Ollie.

Where you been?

I stopped off to get some gumdrop.

Say, they're all waitin' for us, and we better get in there right now.

Go on, we better get goin'.

Here I am, folks.

Mornin', Mr. Harris.

Oh, hello, Sadie.

Hiya.

Mornin', honey.

Right nice place you got here.

This where I get my w rasslin' lesson?

Yeah, this is it, Sadie.

Well, I'm rarin' to go.

Where's my spar'n partner?

Oh, not so fast.

Now, this is serious.

Now, listen, everybody.

I don't want anything to happen when Joe meets Sadie.

So I want you all to keep quiet, and not make any sudden moves.

You get me?

Yeah.

I get you.

What's the matter? He's skittish?

No, it ain't that.

He just ain't used to havin' ladies in his dressing room.

Now, you keep him here till I say when, Cookie.

Okay.

♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. ♪

♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. ♪

Now, listen, Joe.

Remember what I was tellin' you about the little gal you're wrasslin' Monday night?

Uh-huh.

Well, she's here. She's outside.

Oh, no, no, no.

Easy, Joe.

Easy, easy.

I'm gonna bring her in, and I want you to be nice to her.

Understand?

Calm down, Joe.

♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. ♪

All right, Cookie.

Bring him in.

Come on.

Hurry up.

Hurry up, boys.

Now, steady, boys.

Steady.

Now, this is her.

It's Sadie Horne, Joe Scopopolis.

Hey Joe, Slip her five.

Howdy, mister.

Right place to see ya.

I'm fine, Sadie.

I, I...

Take it easy boy, easy.

That's it.

Just call me Sadie, and I'll call you Joe.

Nice and friendly, ain't he, all?

Yep.

Sure.

We're gonna get along famous, ain't we, Joe?

Yeah.

All right.

That's enough, Joe.

You better take him, Popeye.

Sit down, Joe.

We better get on with this lesson.

I'll probably be as clumsy as a cow on ice.

But if you take it kinda easy, I'll get the hang of it.

All right. I'll have Joe and Popeye show you some holds so you know what it's all about.

Let's get started, Popeye.

Get this table out of the way, fellas.

You better get over there where you can see, Sadie.

What do I do, Popeye?

- Help me wit this bed. - Easy, Joe, easy.

Alright. OK.

There you are.

Get it around there straight.

Okay.

Come on, Joe.

Come on, Joe. Wake up.

- Now, when the bell rings... - What bell?

Now, don't ask questions or we'll never get started.

Now, when the bell rings, you come out weeping.

Take it slow, boys.

I don't wanna miss nothin'.

Come on, Joe.

Come on, Joe.

Joe!

Bye, Gani.

I didn't follow it.

Do it over once, will ya?

Well, keep your eyes open, Sadie.

I didn't have any breakfast.

All right, Joe, once again, and take it slower.

Take it easier, Joe.

Come on.

Say!

That's slick as a whistle.

I can do a somersault.

Well, you can have my place anytime you want.

Save your strength, will ya.

Now we'll show him you a hammerlock.

Take it easy.

This ain't no match.

Come on, Joe.

Joe!

Take it easy, take it easy.

Take it easy!

Take it easy, let's go!

Aw, he ain't hurtin' ya.

How do you know he ain't?

Take it easy, will ya, Joe?

Take it easy!

Aw, stop it.

Take it easy!

Ed! Let's all try that monkey shines on me once.

I'd get the hang of it quicker.

I think she's got the right idea.

All right, Sadie, get in there.

Let him go, Joe.

Hey, get out of there.

Hey now step back there.

All right, now you're gonna do a couple of holds with Sadie.

You better go easy on her, Joe.

Give her a hammerlock and throw in a grapevine.

What's a grapevine?

You'll find out.

All right, swing into it, Joe.

Come on, Joe, I'm a-waitin'.

Careful Joe, you don't want to hurt her.

He ain't hurtin' a mite.

Tell him when you've got enough Saddie.

Keep her go'n. I want to see what happens next.

Lady.

Hey! Joe!

Take it easy.

Hey! Hey! Joe!

Come on Joe. Stop that!

I can't do it, Doc.

I can't.

You can't do what?

I can't wrassle Sadie.

I can't, I can't.

Sadie.

You ain't sore, are ya?

You ain't mad, huh?

Countin' what I done?

You're tootin' I'm sore.

I'm a-hoppin'.

Oh, jeez.

Like I figured.

I says to myself, Sadie's gonna be sore at ya.

Countin' you done what you done.

Then I says, you better go explain her, or else Sadie's gonna...

Oh, gee, listen to me, Sadie.

I just gotta tell ya.

You done somethin' to me.

Well, that's plain as sights on a rifle.

I'm crazy about ya.

Gosh, it come to me this mornin', right in the middle of Popeye givin' me the rubdown.

When I had that hammerlock on ya, and was bendin' your back.

All of a sudden, somethin' happened,

and I was kissin' ya.

And I didn't have no hammerlock no more.

Do you get it, Sadie?

Well.

Lookit here, Joe.

Maybe I appreciate ya gettin' all up over me this way,

but it's a question of money with me.

Strictly business.

Can't you wrassle this one?

I tell ya, I can't, Sadie.

I ain't got it in me no more.

Well, can't you just sort of go through the motions?

There's no tellin' what I'd do.

I'd forget we was in the ring.

Aw, Joe, you're just bein' pig-headed.

No, I ain't, Sadie, honest.

I can't just throw ya around like you was only another palooka.

Oh, I get it.

For all ya bein' a furriner,

you got right nice feelin'.

It's been like that ever since I stayed here to get in out of the rain.

And then when you give me that horse's shoe...

Oh, gee, Sadie.

Hey, Joe.

Joe, they folks here.

Listen, you big stumble-bum,

I got a good mind to punch you right in the nose.

- Look, Doc... - Now, keep your trap shut.

And you, what do you think you've been doin'?

What are you blamin' me fer?

Because you took Joe's mind off his work.

Well, how'd I know a fella wouldn't wrassle cause he fell in love with ya?

Well, you can tell by lookin' at him that he ain't like other people.

Well, he didn't look no different to me

outside of bein' a furriner and kinda cow-like.

Aw, Sadie, whatever made you do it?

Well, it was like I told ya, honey.

It was rainin'.

And thar Mr. Scopper-People-Us was, and thar I was,

just as cozy as ya please.

It all just seemed to go together

like hoe-cakes in Harmony.

Yeah, well, you just hoe-caked yourself out of a hundred smackaroos.

That's what you done.

By ganny, mister.

I'm in a fix.

I just got to have it.

I went ahead and ordered that bedroom suit.

What was you sleepin' on before we got here?

Corn husks.

Then stay on them.

All right, slap-happy, get in the car.

No, I ain't gonna leave Sadie.

Ma!

Noah's a-comin' down a mountain of ballin' and a-fun chin'.

Noah?

Lamb of God, you been up there blabbin' your mouth.

You went and squolin' Mr. Scopper-People-Us and me.

Come on, now, fess up.

Told him all about this, your furriner.

Sure I did.

And he's totin' his old scatter gun too.

By ganny, he'll use it.

He's been a-coatin' me, and the crazy galoot figures this is his stomping ground.

Say, get Mr. Scopper-People-Us outta here.

Come on, John.

Who's Noah?

Never mind who Noah is.

You wanna get your head shot off?

Mr. Shaft.

Give me your hand.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Joe.

Well, who's runnin' this thing?

What?

You know, huh?

Sit down.

I'll go.

Better get goin' now.

[Gun shot]

What is that?

It ain't rain.

Somebody's come a-shoot in.

[Gun shots]

Can anybody snype?

[Gun shots continue.]

Doc, I think somebody's shootin' at us.

Where's Popeye?

He's layin' on the floor on his face.

Get him off his face and make a run for it in here.

Not me.

I ain't no Clay-.

[More gun shots]

Come on in here.

I'm takin' a hand in this rumpus.

Come on, get out quick.

Come on.

Get out, Joe.

[More Gun shots]

Noah Wulliver! You quit this!

I see ya!

You come down outta thar or by daddy I'll come up and getcha!

Hey, don't bring him in here.

You stay where you're at.

I'm still rulin' this ruse.

Come down now, you hear me?

Before I come up there and smack you bull-headed.

Noah Wulliver.

I'm gonna smack you down for a toad.

Hush up, woman?

You come out of thar!

Come here, you waste deal youth.

What do you mean, come'n in and make'n a honey of my woman?

Who, me?

You heard me.

You hunk, black hound, you.

This is my ruse.

Which ruse you are?

High pile of meat and bones.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Fool, surgeon, and give me that shoot'n arm.

He ain't the one.

Huh?

Of course he ain't.

He's here, my friend.

You're just showin' off, Noah Wulliver,

and I ain't standin' for it.

Well, by golly.

Who do you think you air,

rip snortin' around here

like a thresher machine with your smokestack open?

I don't care for his looks anyhow.

It don't concern you none.

Hey, who is he, huh?

He's the head man around here.

Nothin' doin'. I'm head man.

What's that?

Let me at him. I'll tear him apart.

Let him come. I'll chew him in half.

Let him come. I'll break him in two.

- No fightin' here, boys. - Let him come on out.

I'll murder him.

Oh, hold on, now, boys.

No fightin' here.

Quiet him down, Sadie.

Quiet him down. I got a whale of an idea.

Simmer down, darlin', Noah.

Listen, Noah, Noah.

You wanna fight that guy?

Let him come. I'll tore him in half.

You can tore him in half on Monday night.

Monday?

Sure. If Joe won't wrestle you, let him wrestle Noah.

You get your money and you don't lift a finger.

You mean it, Mr. Hatch?

Why, it's a natural. I'd pay to see it myself.

Well, bust my bustle.

That's the right smart idea.

I'm not waitin' till Monday. Give him to me now.

You'll git him when we guv him to ya.

No, no, no.

No, Sadie.

The cash comes to Monday night.

Remember Monday night, Noah.

I'll murder him.

Spit on me, will ya?

I'll break his bones.

I'll, I'll...

[Crowds Cheer]

[Crowd Boos]

[Joe blows a raspberry]

Come in.

Ed Hatch in here?

Yeah, in the flesh.

I'm Jack Miller, Associated Press.

Oh, Associated Press.

Hey, glad to see you.

I'm over at Joplin.

Got a wire from New York this morning telling me to cover this bout.

What's the lowdown?

Why, it's a love match of the century.

A battle of the giants for the hand of an Amazon.

Bearded mystery man.

A lovesick Hercules.

A beautiful mountain siren.

I'll write the story.

You just give me the facts.

And how about some pictures?

Anytime you say.

You can get some swell stuff right here tonight in the monthly shindig.

Sadie, that's the Amazon, will be here all decked out in her finest.

Hey, pass the hat and give her seventeen bucks to buy herself some new clothes with.

That's one of Hatch's screwy ideas.

Screwy my eye, that showmanship.

Wait till you get a load of her.

The whole town's gonna be there.

Oh, it'll be the biggest dance they've had in years.

Want some rice pudding?

No, thanks. I just had a haircut.

Oh?

How about a look at those grapplers?

Sure, come on outside.

I'll show you 500 pounds of bone and muscle

just waiting to tear each other to pieces.

Joplin, smart guy.

Want some rice pudding?

No, thanks. My feet hurt.

Oh, that's too bad.

Your feet hurt?!

Ah this boy's awful strong.

Sure to be the next champion.

The slickest wrestler of his weight in the world.

He ain't got a chance with Noah.

CROWD: No.

Now, wait a minute, neighbor.

Wait a minute.

Don't be too sure of that.

You ever hear of Joe Gazooka?

Well, weighs 245 pounds, stripped.

Knows all the holds.

Joe here throw him in 10 seconds flat.

Like that.

I don't believe you.

Show him that hold, Joe.

Oh, not me. Show it to him.

Show it to him. Oh, cut it out, Joe!

I know the hold. Show it to him!

He's a fella, Joe!

Cut it out, will ya?

Joe!

Saddie!

Howdy, Joe.

Gee, you look like a doll.

There ain't nothin' bout me made of wax, though.

Sadie, you kill me.

You smell awful good, too.

Love in the moonlight.

You don't get in a horse now, do ya?

Uh-uh.

Oh, Sadie.

Oh, it's Mr. Hatch.

Wait right here, Joe. I'll be back.

I'll be waitin'.

Don't go away Joe. I'll be back thar.

Yes Mr. Hatch?

Oh, I want you to meet a newspaper man, Mr. Miller.

How about a statement, Miss Horn?

Well, you can say for me, it's hotter than Dutch love.

He means about Monday, Sadie.

Our readers would like to know which one you really want to win you.

Tell him, Joe.

What?

Well, I don't mind sayin', Mr. Hatch.

That Greek of yours has kinda got under my skin.

Sadie, you don't know what you're sayin'.

Listen, Miller, she's crazy.

I'll give you her statement.

Miss Horn says that's a very ticklish question to answer.

You see, on the one hand, Joe gives her a chance of bein' in the spotlight.

Oh, he done more than that.

Quiet, Sadie.

And on the other hand, Noah's been court'n her for 10 years.

So you can tell your readers it's a horse apiece.

And they're both her boys.

Well, just the same, I favor Mr. Scaf-a-people-ous.

Oh, now, Sadie, haven't you caused trouble enough?

This is the press.

Well, I can't help my feelings, can I?

Excuse me a minute, will ya?

I wanna talk to you alone.

Well, where are we goin'?

In the office.

Now, listen, Sadie, I'm warnin' you once and for all,

you gotta keep your hooks off Joe.

Well, good dairy, Mr. Hatch.

You said I'd go to him if he wins Monday.

Can't you get it through your nut that's only publicity

stuff for the yokels to build up interest in the fight?

You can't take that serious.

Well, I took it serious, and I say if he wins me, he can have me.

Well, I say he can't.

Well, why cain't he?

- Becau... - Look, Sadie, what Ed means is this.

Now, Joe is Ed's wrestler, and Ed is Joe's manager.

Never mind, Cookie.

You really wanna know why Joe can't marry you?

Sure I do.

Well, I hoped I wouldn't have to do this, but

you're askin' for it.

What are you gonna do?

What does that look like?

A woman and some young'uns, I reckon.

Right.

Who do you think they belong to?

Well, how'd I know?

Well, take another look.

What ya aim'n at, Mr. Hatch?

Joe Skopapoulos. Don't you catch on?

They're his.

Huh?

Sure, he's married.

Look, there's the mom and the four kids.

A wife and four young'uns?

But Ed...

Quiet, Cookie.

And make'n love to me?

Why, dang his triflin' height.

Shootin's too good for him.

Oh, them poor little tykes.

Look, that's the oldest, Crisco, the one with the ears.

Takes after Joe, don't he?

And just when I was about figure in' I'd got me a real gentleman.

How can a man be so downright two-faced?

Why he's lower than a seed-pig?

Oh, you ain't the first one's been taken in by his smooth ways, Sadie.

Well, by ganny, I'll be the last.

I'll smack him down for a toad.

Try it, little one.

Come on.

Ed Hatch, that's the biggest lie I ever heard.

Sadie's a big gal.

Well, what are you gonna do when she tells Joe?

Oh, by the time he figures it out, we'll be 500 miles away from this burg.

Now, listen, don't you worry your pretty head.

Leave it to me.

Go on out and have some fun with those yokels.

What's go'in on?

Why, they're startin' a square dance.

Square dance?

Hey, Sonny, will you loan me your overalls?

I will not.

Aw, come on.

Let's talk it over.

Come on.

So, there yee air.

Yeah, here I am.

Y'know, Sadie, I've been thinkin'.

Me and you oughta get hitched right away, without waitin'.

You've got the everlasting gall to come right out and ask me to marry ya?

Sure, and we oughta settle it now.

Well, by ganny, I'll settle it for ya.

Ya ain't addin' my scalp to your belt.

I wouldn't marry ya if you was the last man in Missouri.

[Crowd Laughs]

♪ Sweet music and hot music ♪

♪ is in the air ♪

CROWD: ♪ We're com in round the mountain night or day ♪

♪ fast rythm and slow rythm is always there ♪

CROWD: ♪ In the country round the Ozarks it's how we play ♪

♪ In my old Missouri home ♪

♪ we make music on comb ♪

♪ When they sit around and play, oh, my darlin' Nellie Gray ♪

[Kazoo plays]

♪ Swing your lady ♪

♪ Everybody's got the bug ♪

♪ Take a washboard and a jug ♪

♪ Add a scratchy violin ♪

♪ Mix'em up and then begin ♪

[Kazoo and Jug play]

♪ Swing your lady ♪

♪ Mountain dudes have quit their feuds and given up their stills. ♪

♪ Everyone is out for fun ♪

♪ There's music up in them thayr hills ♪

♪ Anything that makes a noise thrills the mountain gals and boys ♪

♪ When you hear a momma call ♪

♪ Play'n Turkey in the Straw ♪

CROWD: ♪ Shake your horse and bow ♪

♪ Get goin' ♪

ALL: ♪ Cause you gotta learn to swing your lady now ♪

[ Square Dance Caller ] Everybody grab your partner.

Ladies, face your men.

Walk right in. Turn around.

Walk right out again. Ha ha!

Ladies, left!

Do si do.

Left - Right!

Come on folks! Let'r go!

Swing it sisters.

Howdy Brother bow.

Well there's the bear Ezikiel.

Come on, folks. Let's go to town.

♪ How you gonna go to town with a dance that's old and broken down? ♪

♪ Heft it up - It's all in fun ♪

♪ This is how it should be done ♪

♪ Grab your partner. Get in and swing it ♪

♪ Give your neighbor a howdy doo ♪

♪ You can jump'm, or muck and wing it ♪

♪ That's the moutain swingeroo ♪

♪ You can make it a new endeavour ♪

♪ You can do it if others do ♪

♪ When its dark it'll go on forever ♪

♪ 'Cause you're never through when you do the mountain swingeroo ♪

All: ♪ It's the swingeroo ♪

♪ Mountain swingeroo ♪

All: ♪ You can do it to ♪

♪ Even you ♪

All: ♪ Even you. Ohh... ♪

♪ Yeah, yes and you ♪

Women: ♪ It's time to hear ♪

Men: ♪ Mountain swingeroo ♪

Women: ♪ Ahh... swing already ♪

Men: ♪ Mountain swingeroo ♪

All: ♪ Ahh... Swing your lady now ♪

Get these ropes tightened up all the way around.

Look it Hatch.

Me and Harley have been talkin' things over.

Kinda looks like there's gonna be some trouble tonight after the match.

What do you mean, trouble?

Well, we promised the folks Sadie goes to the winner.

When you promise folks around here anything

they've got to get it or there ain't no tellin' what they'll do.

What about it?

Supposin' Joe wins.

Sadie won't have nothin' to do with him.

Aw, now, wait a minute.

You fellas keep your shirt on.

I got it all worked out in my mind.

Joe's gonna lose.

Well, he'd better.

We promised our neighbors an honest fight.

And if Sadie's goin' back to Noah, Joe's got to lose to keep it honest.

He'll lose, all right.

I'll take care of that right now.

Gosh, if I could only remember somethin' I done.

We was gettin' along swell.

What's the matter, Joe?

Oh, it's Sadie.

What's she sore at me fer?

What's got into her, huh?

Oh, she just givin' you the Ozark raspberry.

Y'know, I think you better forget her.

Yeah?

What about after I win the match tonight?

Huh.

Oh, yeah, well, that's what I come in to tell you about, Joe.

You ain't winnin' tonight.

Huh?

You're losin'.

Who says I gotta lose?

No, no, no, take it easy, Joe.

I, I don't see why...

Now, we've been sayin' all along that Sadie goes to the winner, ain't we?

Yeah.

And she give you the air for Noah, didn't she?

Yeah.

Well, then he's gotta win.

You don't wanna force yourself on a dame that don't want you, do ya?

No.

Well, then you gotta lose.

But I don't wanna lose. I wanna beat the stuff from out of that...

Now, listen, Joe, you're takin' orders from me.

I'm tellin' you, you're losin' tonight.

Now, get that straight.

Oh.

All... right.

All right, that's a good boy now, Joe.

[Joe Cries]

Where's that Wayne Steeler at?

I'll tear him to pieces.

Why do you want this whale with whiskers?

Put him down over there.

Sit down.

You better get out of here, Cookie.

Okay.

Keep an eye on that guy in that box over there.

Sure.

Now, change.

Sit down there, Dale.

Sit down.

Sit down, Joe.

Cool off.

Don't let him get ya nervous.

Quiet down.

Now, listen, you guys.

We got the biggest crowd out there ever assembled in Plunkett.

They're hot for this match, and they expect their money's worth.

And I want you to go through with it just like I told ya.

And the first guy that double-crosses me is gonna get conked.

Right over the skull.

You understand?

- I'll chew him in half, - Sit down or I'll punch this over your head.

Steady, Joe.

Steady, steady.

Mr. Hatch, here comes the umpire.

Oh, good. Send him in. Hello.

Hi ya!

I'm Smith, the Joplin referee.

I'm glad to see you. I'm Ed Hatch, the visiting manager.

Just puttin' the boys through their final rehearsal.

Good.

Who's winnin' tonight?

The big guy with the whiskers.

Say, he's a beaut.

Where'd you dig him up?

He came out from under a bush.

Say, if he was any bigger, he'd have to wear a license.

This here's my boy.

He's takin' a dive.

What's he so dopey about?

- Girl trouble. - Oh.

Well, what is it tonight? Two falls out of three?

No, no, one fall to a finish.

How long do you want it to run?

Oh, I dunno, about an hour and a half.

Make it an hour.

I wanna catch the ten O'clock bus home.

Okay, and keep it movin', will ya?

And say, listen, if they happen to land on the mat, let them stay there.

I don't want my boy hurt.

He ain't in any too good shape anyway.

Yeah, I get it.

Plenty of toe holds and a few leg splits to keep the old crowd roarin', eh?

Yeah, you know, nothin' too strange.

Mm, usual stuff.

Okay.

I'll have the boys show you what they're gonna do.

What do you do when the bell rings, Joe?

All right. I take a wrist lock.

And what do you do, Noah?

- I'll chill him in there. - Sit down.

- I'll chill him. - Sit down.

Save your strength, Joe.

See, he's well rehearsed.

He ain't actin'.

Now, what happens next, Joe?

The both of us hit the mat, and I take a body scissor.

He's got you in a body scissor.

What do you do?

I jerk loose and break his legs.

Oh, you don't jerk loose. You holler and wiggle.

I'll holler and wiggle. Then I'll jerk loose and break his legs.

You let that run for about a minute.

Now we're comin' to the beer.

What happens next?

I kick him in the face.

I swing on his whiskers and pull out a handful.

Here's the whiskers, Joe.

Stick them in your tights.

He's swingin' on your whiskers.

What do you do now?

I'll bite his hand off.

No, you don't bite his hand off. You holler.

Now let's hear you holler.

Oh, that's terrible.

Show him how to holler like it hurts, Popeye.

Squeeze my hand, Joe.

Ahhhhh!

Now holler like that.

Ho!

Louder!

Ho...!

Good.

But I'll kill him any how.

Looks like you got a great act, pal.

Hey, listen, if the boys do it like that, we'll have the audience in the eye.

I want him now!

Take it easy, Joe.

Sit down.

Take it easy, Joe.

I think he wants to kill him.

Mr. Hatch, three minutes to go. You better come on, hurry up.

All right, get your stuff on, Rep.

Right, see you all at the ring.

Now listen, you guys, you heard what I said,

and I want you to do it exactly like I...

Howdy, everybody!

Sadie!

Keep quiet. Sit down, will ya?

Sadie.

Now, you know what you gotta do, Sadie?

Sure. After I'm introduced, I grab their paws, and I wish them good luck.

Right, good girl.

All right, Popeye, keep them apart, and we'll get them in the ring.

How ya feeling, Noey?

Feel pro' good, Sadie. I'll break his back.

Well, I got something extra for ya, you old fire-hog.

Sadie,

ain't you got something extra for me, too? Huh?

I only got something ex tree for them as desarve.

[Joe Cries]

Will you get out of here, Sadie, before this guy has a fit?

I'm a-goin'.

Take care of yourself, Nolly.

I'll bear hug you to dance, Sadie.

- Ha Ha. - Sadie.

Sadie.

Sadie.

Sadie.

I told you afore. I want no plunk with a snake in the grass.

[ Joe Cries ]

She won't have nothin to do with me.

[Noah laughs at Joe]

Hey what's the matter with you guys. They're wait'n for ya.

Alright. Take them out one at a time. Him first.

Come on Noah. Come on.

I wanna kill him now.

All right. Ready Joe. Get up. That's a good boy.

Keep go'in. Keep go'in.

Oh Popeye. It ain't right why I gotta lose.

Joe, we're only tryin' to save ya from yourself.

I don't wanna be saved.

I want Sadie.

Don't worry, Joe.

It'll all be so simple in the other life.

Come on Joe.

[Crowd Cheers]

I'll bear hug his to-do.

[ Crowd Boos ]

JOE: I'll saw him in half, I'll show him.

Sit down.

Quiet! Quiet everyone!

Quiet everybody.

Ladies and gentlemen, and citizens of Plunkett.

Tonight, we have the pleasure in the bringin' you

the event you have all been waitin' for.

[ Crowd Cheers ]

A battle to death between two ripped snortin' giants of bone, gristle,

and muscle to settle once and for all which one gets something they both want.

[ Crowd Cheers ]

In this corner, you see the injured party, the grievin' Romeo, the forgotten man,

the hermit of Goose Nibble Ridge, Noey Williver!

[ Crowd Cheers ]

- I'll kick his ribs in. - Sit down.

In this corner, the other one,

the fellow who wants what Noey's got,

whose smooth ways has practically busted up a happy mountain home.

The outlander, the wrashlin' Hercules, Joe Scopopolis!

[ Audience Boos ] Popeye: Whee!

[ Audience Boos ]

Sadie: Boo.

Popeye: Never mind Joe. Hurray!!

Ladies and gentlemen, the prize package of the even, that sturdy flower of the hills

and poplar smithy of Sheepdick Mountains, Big Sadie Horn!

Crowd: Hurray!

[ Sadie Honks Nose ]

[ Man in Crowd] Atta girl Sadie. Atta girl!

Quiet everybody. Quiet!

Neighbors, I'm mighty proud and happy to be the cause of this here ruption tonight.

I just wanna say one thing.

Whichever it is gets me, I'm gonna take him and be right thankful.

I reckon I've been travelin' in single harness long enough.

[ Crowd laughs and claps ]

Good luck, Noey, and may the best man win me.

Noah: I'll kill him, Sadie. Popey: Sit down!

[ Crowd laughs, cheers and claps ]

Sadie.

Good luck, furriner.

You'll need it.

[ Crowd laughs and cheers ]

Quiet everybody!

Timekeeper for tonight, Osage Harrison from Springfield.

Referee, Humpty Smith from Joplin.

All right, Mr. Smith.

All right, boys, come on and get your instructions.

Noah: I'll bite his hand off.

Now, you both know what to do.

No gouging, kicking, or biting.

And no hitting with the closed fist.

And the stranglehold is barred.

Is that clear?

Noah: Yes, but I'll kill him anyhow.

[ Crowd cheers ]

Quiet!

Okay, one fall to a finish.

Shake hands.

Hey, ref, you're not gonna let him get away with them boots, are you?

I'm gonna wear these boots like a pig!

[ Bell Rings ]

Noah: I'll kill him.

Noah: Ahhhh! Ahhhh!

Kill that pendant quicker if he don't lose.

Will ya quit worrying Doc he's gonna lose?

He's just tryin' to make a good show out of it.

Noah: I'll kill him.

Popeye: Do what I told ya.

Woman: Drop his brains out!

Noah: You party, you cross this line here, I'll knock your head off.

Man in Crows: Let him kill that fool on the ropes.

[ Noah screams ]

[Noah screams ]

Man: Come on... come on!

[ Noah screams ]

[ Noah laughs ]

Boo!

[Noah laughs]

[ Audience Boos ]

Get that fire a fight you stripeless critter!

[ Crowed boos ]

Noah: I'll kill ya.

[ Beard ripping sound ]

[ Girgle ]

Noah: I'll break his back.

Mr. Hatch. Here's a telegram for ya from New York.

Popeye: Don't let him hurt ya Joe. Don't let him hurt ya.

Popeye screaming: Don't let'm hurt ya Joe!

Take it easy boy. Take it easy.

That's the lad.

Hey, Popeye, get a load of this.

Offer match at Madison Square Garden next week.

To winner of Skopapoulos hill billy match.

Stop.

Wire repply.

Madison Square Garden, we're in!

Yeah, but we sent Joe out there to lose.

Hey, Joe, we're in!

Noah: I'll bear hug you to death.

Popeye: Hey, Joe we're in! Hatch: Hey Joe!

Popeye: Forget what I told ya Joe.

Flatten him Joe.

Go after him Joe.

Hey Joe. Hammer him Joe.

Hamer him! Ahhh! Ahhh!

Hey Joe, you gotta win. You gotta win.

Popeye: Com on over here Joe. Hatch: Come here!

What you say Popeye?

Forget what I told you in the dressing room. You gotta win!

Noah: Get me otta here.

I can win!?

Man: Get him out.

Noah: Get me outta here!

[ Crowd boos ]

Boooo.

Ply on him Joe, ply on him.

Noah: Sadie... Sadie...

See Doc. It was right I should win. Wasn't it Popeye!?

Sure it was Joe.

All right Cicero. Turn the lights up.

Folks and neighbors of Plunkett, now for the big doings of the evening.

As you all know, Sadie has to go to the winner.

That's what we said.

What we say, we gotta do.

We're now gonna take great pleasure in livin' up to our promise and hereby

present Sadie Horn, bag and baggage, to this wrastlin' Hercules as advertised.

Now listen, Waldo, you better not.

Look, I'm gonna tell you something.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

What was it, Mr. Hatch?

It's marriage, business is out, Joe isn't marryin' Stadia.

No, so my 10% ain't tie in' up to nobody.

That's right, Waldo, Joe's got his career to think of.

Well, you fellas can have your careers and 10% and everything like that

but I got my neighbors to think about.

Folks, these city slickers wanna back out on the bargain and don't want Joe to marry Sadie.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

Popeye: You gotta back off. Let's take it easy. We didn't say anything.

He's makin' a buckin' issue.

Quiet - Let's hold on a minute.

Quiet!

I can't marry Joe Scafa-fee-fa-lus.

Why?

Call it cause the critter's married and got a house full of young'uns back yonder.

Hey, hey, quiet down, yous.

I gotta talk.

Who's married?

You ayr, you durn dirgin'.

Who said so?

He did.

Well, it's a lie.

I ain't hooked.

Well, I got a picture right here to prove it.

Why that's my aunt.

I ain't my aunt's husband.

Who give you that picture?

He did.

And by ganny, if it ain't true, you're the victim of a low-down ornery trick.

And somethin' oughta be done about it.

Explain.

All right, I made a little mistake.

Joe ain't married.

Oh, Mr. Hatch, what'd you do that fer?

You almost made me lose Joe.

Saidie, Joe can't stay here. He's Ed's meal ticket.

No. I got a match for you in the Garden.

I'm building you up into the top money.

Joe. A match in the garden!

I don't want no match.

I only want Sadie.

How about it? Huh?

Boo.

♪ Dig me a grave in Missouri ♪

♪ Back where a tired man can rest ♪

Hey, Pappy, tell us again how your throat peaked Kazooka's.

Now, simmer down, youse.

The whole kit and barley of youse.

Or I'll chaw ya in half.

Whoa, Noah, whoa.

Hey, you, curb service!

Whatcha gonna have, folks?

Hamburgers all around.

Yeah, make his with two pounds of beef.

Hurry up, will ya?

Oh, I tell ya, that ton of beef will be a sensation.

I'm gonna bill him as the whiskered wonder.

And another thing, he won't give us the same trouble Skopapoulos did.

Whoo hoo! Whoo hoo!

Oh, Kelly!

Subtitles by: ClassicLover