Original subtitles

He's alive. They want to swap him for Grinner.

It'll be a trap.

We put it in there on top of him.

If you've been fucking with us this whole time and there was

never any treasure... I know who's got it.

Lady Fitz-fucking-Gibbon.

Says they're on holidays.

Body's still in the toilet.

Horses need Viagra. They do indeed.

Indeed they do.

It's never been tested on humans, mind.

Oh, fuck!

Take two of these on the hour, every hour.

Giddy. Sorry, bro.

Fuck Ma Baker?

He came to me in a vision.

Something to do with the apocalypse?

And I saw one of his heads, as it were, wounded to death.

And his deadly wound was healed, and all the world

wondered after the beast.

Nasty.

So this vision you had...

Bad, was it?

It was the end of days. Right, of course.

Um, and are we talking, I don't know, tomorrow,

this time next week, or four days?

What are we thinking of in terms of a time frame?

It will be more than 1,000 years hence.

Oh, well, that's a relief.

But it's still terrible all the same.

And any idea where it will all kick off, the old end of days?

In the furthermost west, a beast will appear,

a beast without a soul who casts truth to the ground.

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness

for light and light for darkness.

Boastful and blasphemous, the son of perdition exalts

himself above all others.

Many will worship at his altar of gold as he makes

turmoil among the nations.

The poor will be persecuted, the innocent imprisoned.

The mighty seas will rise and kingdoms will fall.

There will be signs.

A fiery burning star will appear in the celestial heavens.

It hurtles through space and time, leaving nothing in its wake.

You're talking about a comet?

And I thought you said this book speaks

of how to avert the end of days.

Hidden within these pages is a sacred code

to stave off the apocalypse.

The burning star can be sundered from its sacred path,

but only by song.

By song?

You're not serious.

Music is the divine language, a way to commune with heaven.

None can hear it.

Yet there may be one.

So who is this chosen one?

Music of the spheres may only be heard by one pure of soul.

Come on, Paul, where are ya?

♪ Clare Sands, " Carry My Song"

♪ I am nowhere But home by the sea.

♪ Le na iascaire,

♪ agus a bhriongl id

♪ Whisper my secrets, embracing thee.

♪ I'll carry my song Across the sea.

♪ Many homes are filled with sorrow

♪ and with sadness.

♪ Many hearts are filled...

Sorry, bro.

♪ with anger and with pain.

Agh, Gitsy, ya fuckin' rat!

Keep going.

Come on, Britney, get stuck in there.

Stop it! Stop! Gitsy!

Ma, tell him to stop, please.

What is it now?

He's beautiful, Ma.

Oh, for jaysus' sake.

Look at those beautiful legs, Ma.

That's enough now, Britney.

Just get out the way and let Gitsy take care of him, okay?

Ah, no, please.

I think I'm in love with him.

Get him in the car.

That was Paul.

What the fuck, that's Ma Baker.

Who's Ma Baker?

That's my car! What's Bridget doing driving?

She can't drive!

Go after them, Bunny!

We have the caravan.

I need to find a place to turn.

Sorry, where were we? Um

Oh yeah.

What the fuck?

That's me rings, that is.

Better than any brass knuckles.

Now this big score, what you say you have, it really

better be worth my while.

Do you hear me?

What the fuck do you seriously call this, Bunny?

What?

Jesus Christ.

Did they not make you do an advanced driving

course for the guards? What?

Yeah, pulling the caravan in the high-speed chase.

Yeah, they do that all the time.

Grinner!

Come on.

Come on, please!

Oh, were we in a car crash?

You were doing a lot of thrashing about in your sleep, so you were.

Come on, we need to go get Paul.

Oh, you dirty bastard!

No, it's not you, it's the horse Viagra.

I have to wait till this fucking thing goes down.

How long will it take? I don't know.

Oh, fuck ya anyway, Grinner.

I'll go myself.

Shit, that's some gaff.

What's yer name?

Paul. Paul, that's a beautiful name.

Britney? Babe, you are seriously wrecking my head so here.

There's literally loads of other lads out there.

No, I want this one.

He's perfect, aren't you, Paul?

So what's your favorite color, food, and film?

Mine's turquoise, fettuccine Alfredo, and Legally Blonde.

Turn off the lights. We don't want to attract attention.

Where has she gone?

I can't see a thing.

Bunny!

Fuck!

Bridget! Oh, she's not dead, is she?

Oh, you put the heart crossways in me.

Are you all right, Bridget?

Are you okay, Marion? You're acting weird.

I'm not acting weird.

How did you find me?

"Find my car".

Is this yours by any chance?

Yeah, of course it is.

Oh, we need to find Paul.

He's after been taken, kidnapped. They took him up to the castle.

How could you, Bridget?

How could I what?

Take off in me new Mercedes, like.

You and that fucking car.

The only reason that you have that car

is because you and Maurice were getting blood money.

Wha-at?

Who said that?

Grinner, no doubt.

Where's Grinner now?

He's in the car. He can't walk or anything.

He's a horn on him like a hockey stick.

Uh, we need to go get him, Bunny.

No, we need to get Paul.

She's right, Marion.

Paul first, then Grinner.

Come on, let's go.

Fecking thing.

It's useless.

Here Marion.

Right. Right.

Right.

This would be an amazing place to get married.

Bleeding state of me. My makeup's after running.

Might just go to the little girls' room and powder me nose.

Do you want to come, Paul?

Where?

To the toilet.

But I don't need to go to the toilet.

Well, if you change your mind.

Come here to me, you.

Quick word, if you don't mind.

That's Ma Baker.

I think Paul owes her, like, money or something.

He's a keeper then, is he?

Fuck off.

Ready, Bunny?

I am.

Do you think I can't see what you're playing at?

What do you mean? Don't you play dumb with me.

What?

I see you trying it on with my daughter, and we're gonna have

to knock that on the head right now.

But I didn't do anything.

Yeah, if your flute goes anywhere near my Britney...

It won't.

It won't, I swear to God. Yeah?

Yeah.

Sure as my name is Baker, I'll have you

in the fucking ground.

Back the fuck away, bitch.

Who the fuck are you?

I'm his girlfriend.

Oh, really?

Try me. Go on, I dare you.

Paul, what's going on?

Who the fuck do you think you are, robbing my man?

You bleeding tramp! You fucking bastard!

I haven't my back turned two minutes and what happens?

Only this smelly gee bag shows up!

Smelly gee bag?

You have no idea who you're fucking with.

You haven't a clue.

Dirty little whore!

Fucking break it up!

Get off! Aagh!

Get off her.

Aaagh!

Don't!

Fuck!

Get up Britney.

Place your hand below your navel.

If you want abs like these, click and follow.

Since integrating my morning breathwork routine

Get off! Aargh!

How the fuck...?

We saw you.

You were dead in that van.

Is that him? Is that the pervert?

I am not a pervert.

Did you think I wouldn't find you, Paul?

You and this little hussy.

That I would let you get away with what you did?

Don't you know I can find anyone?

Anyone.

Especially a couple of dirty little ants like you.

I'll tell you what's gonna happen now.

I'm going to finally...

Whoa!

What the fuck? Jesus!

Who's this?

What the fuck, man?

Grinner McNair.

I heard you were dead.

Well, you can't kill a good thing, Ma Baker.

Not when it's as bad as me.

I wouldn't try that if I was you.

What the bloody hell is going on?

Remember me, Lady Fitzmuck?

Oh, God.

God won't help you now.

What about you? How are you doing, Lord Fuckface?

I am not Lord Fuckface. That's what I'm calling you.

I'm the Queen.

You are a dirty, thieving, rat bastard, that's what you are.

My dear boy, I just told you I'm the Queen.

He's got a touch of dementia.

More than a touch, I'd say.

Where is it?

There's really no point, Mr. McNair.

My husband here isn't quite at home.

Would anyone care for a cup of tea?

Yeah, I'd actually love a cup.

Yeah, go on. Yeah, that'd be nice.

Well, well.

The dead arose and appeared to many.

It's a social call, Wesley?

I'm here to re-up.

Yeah, I'll take it.

What else have you got?

We've got Glocks, Lugers, Mausers, Shotguns, Double Bars,

Sawn-offs, Pump-action... You name it.

I'll take it all.

How are you fixed for blades?

Hand me that katana.

Well, you know, strictly speaking,

the shorter blade is called a wakizashi.

Well, strictly speaking, I don't care, Chick.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'll take it.

You want it gift-wrapped, aye?

I'm not the first dead man you've seen tonight.

Am I, Chick?

You know me, Wesley.

I'm not one to kiss and tell.

I haven't got time to fuck around.

I need to know.

And I know you know something.

Hmm.

Well, there's nothing you could do or say...

...that would make me talk.

How about I shoot your horse?

Okay. All right.

All right, Wesley.

There's no need to bring Teddy into all this.

Aye, Grinner McNair stopped by earlier for a visit.

Didn't he?

He did, surely.

Ah...

That wagon wants me dead.

We won't let that hand you over.

No?

Grinner, you're a fucking lunatic.

We owe you one though.

You've done what you wanted, Bunny.

You've saved your lad there.

So how do we do the swap with Grinner?

Well, he's not going to go easy.

Wesley hasn't tried calling in a while.

Something is not right.

This is a lovely house.

Is it just the two of you live here?

The two of us and about eight centuries of history,

some of which I'd really rather not have around the place.

Oh, I love it. All those stories.

But more stuffed animals than one would want to share

one's house with.

And you're really not angry about coming back to, well, us?

This is how it's supposed to be, Bridget.

Even the presence of Mr. McNair.

Do you know much about his treasure?

I do.

It's up at my family's mausoleum.

It's rather a steep climb.

We were quite an outdoorsy tribe, but my knees aren't

up to it anymore.

And is that where you put the treasure,

in your family's mausoleum?

Yes, it's all there. Has been for years.

Is it far?

You have no idea just how important you are.

So do you think you could take us there, to the treasure,

to the mausoleum? Up there?

God, no.

Because of your knees? Sorry?

You... You won't bring us because of your knees?

You said it was a climb.

I can't go with you because I'm not supposed to be there.

What do you mean?

I'm not in the book.

I've read the book, Bridget, and I'm not there.

But you are.

Tea! Fuck your tea!

Where's my treasure at?

Grinner, the language out of ye, talking to an old dear like that.

Fuck her! Fuck him!

You better not have burnt through at all.

As I've explained, Mr. McNair, my husband is not all there.

Youse are a pair of rats.

You dug it up, you moved it, you fingered the fuck out of it.

Now, why else would your bollocks of a husband have moved it

if he wasn't gonna sell it?

He didn't move it. I did.

You did? Yes.

You see, the truth is, the grave you dug was particular to me.

I don't follow you.

Toby was much more than a servant or a ghillie to me.

We were in love, and I'm quite sure my husband chose

to desecrate his grave as a way to hurt me.

So when the old bugger lost his mind,

I rather seized the opportunity, so to speak,

and moved the treasure.

You're telling me that you... You dug it up on your own?

Six feet under, shovels, fucking everything?

Well, I do garden.

Yeah, so where is it now?

I moved it. Where?

Why don't you sit down?

And have a biscuit.

Fuck your biscuit!

Ma Baker.

What the fuck are you doing poking your nose in my business?

Who's Ma Baker?

Someone I thought learned her lesson a long time ago.

Greed, Waldo Jr., keeps them on their willful ways.

Isaiah, 57, 17.

Is she a baddie, Uncle Wes?

Is she on their side?

It looks that way.

On their side and on my turf.

That's not important now.

Do you know what the best strategy in a war is,

Waldo Jr.'s son?

No.

What is it, Uncle Wes?

The element of surprise.

Bang.

Don't be pointing it at me.

It's him.

Wesley, Wesley, we have Grinner now.

Where's Maurice?

And if thy right hand should cause thee to sin,

cut it off and cast it from thee.

Patch it up. He'll live.

No more fucking about, Marion.

I'm sending you the address where I want this swap to happen.

You got one hour.

Uh... kay.

Okay.

Droichead Abhainn na Marbh.

The River of Death Bridge.

I don't suppose you know where that bridge is?

It's not far at all. It's on our land, actually.

Well, I'm not handing Grinner over to that fucking psychopath.

I'm not letting my husband be butchered!

Not when we can hand this bastard over and be done with it!

Anyone tries that, I'm gonna start chopping off heads.

Okay, calm the fuck down, Grinner. Okay?

In fairness now, Marion, he did save us from that pedophile.

You wouldn't let us borrow

your husband's wheelchair by any chance?

Yes, of course, take it.

Have you any tape?

Wesley fucking Swanson. What?

Wesley Swanson? Grinner McNair.

The crazy fella with the knife?

Lord fucking Fitzgibbon.

So the legend is true.

What legend?

The heist of the century.

A haul of gold.

Chalices.

Oh, there are yokes.

I thought it was just all gangster bullshit, but now...

I think the gobshite with the legs might be onto something.

And me and you might get a chest or two of it for ourselves.

So what's the play?

Baseball bats? Guns?

Violence isn't always the answer, really.

Isn't it?

A fair point, it usually is, in the end, yeah.

But sometimes you need to play the smart game.

The smart game, Britney, is you sell what you know.

Right, hold still.

Move your hand. Come on, will ya?

Hold still, aye. Bunny, it's fucking gross.

I'm getting his bleedin' tonsils on me hand.

What do we think?

It's fucked.

Oh!

Put a hat on him.

Dress him up a little bit.

The second they see that's not Grinner, they will cause murder.

And we won't put up much of a fight with what?

A rusty shotgun and a bladed machete.

Cockblade.

"To win 100 victories in 100 battles is not the acme of skill,

but to subdue the enemy without fighting,

that's the acme of skill."

Sun Tzu, Art of War.

Do yous not read?

Come on, lads!

What's that got to do with anything?

So we're not gonna fight them.

So what we need is a distraction.

Sweet Jesus, this isn't gonna work.

We're just wasting time. What other choice do we have?

This is what we have, Marion. This is it.

Well, there might be another option.

A bit looser on your right hand there. I know.

Remember, the follow-through is in the wrist, yeah?

Just fucking light one of them, will ye, Bunny.

It's not Grinner.

That's not Grinner.

NOW, PAUL! NOW!

What's that, petrol?

Fuck me.

Ah, fuck!

Go!

You still have it, Paul.

I'm not going back on your hurling team. Shite.

Come quick. Go on. Get in. Get in.

Oopsy daisy, that's it.

Get him in.

We got you, Maurice, we got you.

Drive, drive, drive!

Maurice!!

Go back! Go baaack!

Aaaargh!

Maurice!! Maurice!!

What the fuck?

What the fuck is this?

Come on, Marion. Come on, Marion.

I'm so sorry.

So, so sorry.

Just get the last bit of blood.

He's just lying out there, Bridget.

He's just lying out there somewhere, all alone.

Where he... I know, Marion. I know.

What's gonna happen to him?

What if they do something to him?

What if we never find him?

What are we gonna do for the funeral?

We'll come back. We'll get him.

So we will.

I'm sorry for being so horrible to you, Marion.

You're not horrible, Bridget.

I was horrible to you.

You taking me in and everything.

Shit, that's what Mammy would have wanted.

Yous are sisters?

How come you call her matron then?

Just being a cunt, like.

I broke Mammy's duck lamp, Bridget.

That fella we lit on fire,

I broke it while I was killing him.

So sorry, Bridget.

I think Mammy would have liked that.

So what now?

Let's fucking take that treasure Wesley wants so badly.

Now you're talking.

This is the key to the crypt, my dear.

Follow the path along the river into the woods, and you'll arrive

at my family's ancestral mausoleum.

Thank you. Bonne chance.

Maybe it's best if I, um, stay here and keep guard.

Me too.

I'll come. You coming?

All right, come on.

This place has me freaked out.

Do you want to go back?

I'm sticking with you,

How are you, lads?

Grinner!

And lassies. That's rude.

What's the story?

Just chilling out, are yous?

It's real!

Oh my God. Yes!

I fucking told ya!

Oh, fucking yes!

Oh yes.

Oh, oh yes. What did I tell yous?

We did it. I fucking told you.

The chalices. I found you at last.

I knew I would. All these Crosses.

They tried to take it from me, but they couldn't!

It's ours! It's mine!

It's fucking here! It's ours!

Can anyone else hear that?

hear what?

Your ear's bleeding.

Have you any bags in that bag of yours?

Yeah.

Come on, gimme. Gimme bags!

Give us bags!

Millions!

Oh, yes!

Where have they gone?

Bunny!

Always getting someone else to do the heavy lifting, Grinner.

The same as always.

Don't move!

Give me your weapon!

Uh, you should get some better lookouts next time.

Once a rat, always a rat.

Eh, Ma Baker?

Your sold us out. Are we not all gonna share it?

Now, why would I share the treasure with yous?

When Mr. Swanson here says I can keep the whole lot?

That's what he says, is it? Oh, yeah.

I don't care about the treasure.

All I want is that book.

Wait a minute.

You murdered my husband all because of a fucking book?

It's not just a book.

It is a holy book.

Mine is a higher calling.

I don't care about the money.

I am on a divine mission here.

Do you understand?

Now you step the fuck back, grinner.

Now here's what's gonna happen.

Ma Baker is going to take that treasure.

I am going to take that book, and me and Grinner here are going

to go for a walk in the woods.

I'm keeping the book.

Now that would be a mistake, because I have guns on all of ye.

And I have no compunction about shooting you all.

All you had to do was hand me over Grinner, but you had

to go and double-cross me. Double-cross you?

You murdered your own gang, you're a psycho.

That's shite. That's pure shite.

Whoa, Marion, whoa.

Lads, lower your guns.

Give him the gun.

This man is a bad man.

He didn't kill my husband.

He is a psycho.

No more than your lot.

This man murdered my gang and ran off with the treasure.

I thought your brother Waldo was the one who went crazy.

No. It was Grinner.

My brother Waldo came back and they were all dead.

Slaughtered like they were no better than pigs by a man

that stood beside and treated as a brother.

It was a massacre at the hands of Grinner McNair.

Grinner?

This man and the devil are one and the same.

What the fuck is going on?

Grinner betrayed us, and for what?

A bigger slice of the pie?

You're a fucking snake, aren't you, Grinner?

Marion!

Oh, shit.

We need to stop the bleeding.

Press.

Stay with us, Marion.

Okay, okay.

Don't try it, kid.

I like you, but I'll put you down if I have to.

Paul! Don't!

The book!

Don't let him take that book!

I'm gonna need a hand with this.

Come on, come on, don't be stupid. Let's go, come on.

Please, the book! Press here.

Okay, okay.

There's no fucking signal.

Right. Keep pressing. I'll call for help.

Okay, okay, okay. Marion, stay with me.

Stay with us.

Come on.

Please, God, don't let my sister die.

If you save her, I'll even start believing in you.

There's an ambulance on the way.

Go on.

Bridget.

Ah.

I'm here.

I'm here.

Bunny.

I'm here, Marion.

Stay with us, now.

And Paul.

I don't know who's taken him.

I'm so sorry for dragging you into all of this.

No, I'm staying with you.

Go save them all.

Do what you're told for once in your life.

Okay.

Okay, Marion.

It's gonna be okay.

Come on, come on, keep her moving there.

Grinner!

You're not going nowhere!

You shot my sister!

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Sorry about your girl.

Take one of the bags.

Come on, kid, you haven't got it in ya.

Bridget!

Bridget!

That was sore.

You’re alive

I was wearing your vest.

Oh, thank fuck.

Where's Grinner?

He's in the water, I shot him.

Where's the book?

It's in the water too.

Oh.

♪ SONG: Niall Toner Band, "Chainsaw Country Blues"

Where are the others?

There's help coming for them.

We have to go.

♪ I'm sitting here a-picking on the cheap guitar.

♪ Playing for pennies in a chainsaw bar,

♪ dressed to kill in my suit

♪ and my blue suede shoes.

♪ But my rent's too high, my pay's too low, my tongue is too fast.

Okay, so what's your favorite color, food, and film?

Mine's turquoise, fettuccine Alfredo, and Legally Blonde.

Uh, mine's blue, Zetoon Mixed Kebab,

like a sausage supper or pasty bap from there.

And My Left Foot. That's my favorite film.

♪ Well, bars like this, I'll be gone... ♪

You really don't want to stay? Regroup?

Thanks, but if the cops ask me anything, it doesn't matter.

I'm getting done.

Well...

Do come back and visit sometime.

What are we gonna do for a lift out of here?

You're hardly gonna rob Ma Baker's car.

Fuck it.

Oh, wait.

That's some bling. Hmm.

Let's go.

Can you hotwire it? No bother.

What the fuck?

I had a bit of a kip there. What happened?

I'm sorry about grassing you up, bro.

And like, hitting you with the bat an' all, like...

Sorry.

Gitsy? Yeah?

Fuck off.

Grand.

Ah... Father Michael.

I'll just have the caprese salad, I think.

The old cassock's getting a bit on the tight side.

News from Ireland, Your Eminence.

The Holy Book of Bangor.

I trust Mr. Swanson has it in his possession at last?

Uh, I'm afraid the book is lost.

Does this mean the end times are approaching?

Fuck it, I'll have the steak.

If the book is lost, then how is the apocalypse

to be averted?

♪ SONG: Joe Dolan, "I Love You More and more Everyday"

♪ They said our love was just emotion,

♪ that time would slowly fade away.

♪ But time's just...

So... Where are off to?

Surprise me.

♪ I love you more and more every day

♪ The day you made

♪ Those tender vows beside me

♪ My joy was more

♪ Than words could ever say.

♪ And darling, still it grows and grows inside me.

♪ I love you more and more every day.

♪ The day you made those