Original subtitles

So the doctor says we can freeze it or we can leave it,

you know, but it's totally benign.

And I'm like, Doc, I've had this my whole life,

and holy "moley," I'd miss him if he was gone.

Anyway, one Moscow mole.

Oh, I mean mule.

Hey, maybe that's what made me think of this, you know?

You can touch it if you want.

Gabby.

Do you have any tops with long sleeves?

What?

Because I showed them Moley Ringwald?

Hey, maybe that's what made me think about it.

Steve, how are we coming along with the new menus?

Because these old ones are looking pretty ratty.

Well, as you know,

we've always used Jimmy's Paper Palace

because you like to support local businesses,

and I like to be treated like a prince.

Uh-huh.

So I called Jimmy Sr.,

even though he turned the business over

to his son, Jimmy Jr.,

because Senior started the business,

and Junior is not a people person.

Right.

Anyway, turns out the business closed.

Because of Jimmy Jr.?

- No, COVID. - Oh.

But I'm sure Junior didn't help.

Have I told you about his gambling problem?

Steve.

Are we getting new menus or what?

Tomorrow, Ms. Busy.

Thank you.

Now what?

Emmett refuses to cook this steak medium-well.

Emmett.

The cow's already dead.

I'm not going to humiliate it.

OK, everybody, Happy Checks this afternoon in my office.

Ooh, Happy Checks.

That sounds fun.

They're not.

They're performance reviews.

I'd call them Unhappy Checks, but nobody would show up.

Well, I'm not prepared for that.

Oh, honey, you don't have to be.

There's no reason for everybody hating both of us.

No, I should be in there with you.

We're co-owners.

That means we share everything, even the unpleasant stuff.

OK, fine.

But remember, when they get mad,

sticks and stones may break your bones.

But words will never hurt me.

No, I'm telling you, they have sticks and stones.

- ♪ Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight ♪

♪ To get through the day ♪

♪ And sleep on through the night ♪

♪ But here you'll find a place ♪

♪ That'll surely lift your spirits ♪

♪ You belong at Happy's Place ♪

So how often do we do these Happy Check review thingies?

Oh, not often.

It's kind of like flossing.

You only do it when you need it.

That's not how flossing works at all.

I don't know, it just feels so weird

criticizing people who are like family.

Well, sometimes,

Mama and Daddy have to yell at the kids

for peeing in the tomato plants.

Nobody here is doing that, right?

Nah, but I had a cousin that did get in trouble for that.

We stopped eating salads at their house.

OK, eww.

We're not actually going to yell at them, though, are we?

Oh, of course not.

Well, maybe Emmett.

Iron sharpens iron.

But you don't have to be here.

I mean, offer still stands.

No, we're in this together, OK?

So who's up first? - OK.

Steve, you're up.

I got you a little gift

just because I'm a nice person

who likes doing nice things for other nice people.

Uh-huh.

That's sweet.

Are they for both of us?

OK.

Steve, when we ask you questions,

you answer with way too many details.

OK, if I may defend myself--

You may not.

Just knock it off, OK?

Fine.

You know what?

These are for nice people.

You bet. Tell Emmett he's up.

Mm!

Yikes.

That was a little rough.

What are you talking about?

I mean, you just tossed it out there.

"Hey, Steve, we have a problem with you.

Here it is."

He's a big boy.

He'll be fine.

Here. I got you these.

Completely independent of Steve.

Emmett, you need to stop hooting and hollering

at the customer whenever they order food

in a way you don't like.

Well, if I don't yell, how are they going to know?

They won't.

They'll eat the food they ordered

without your opinion.

They'll pay for it, and we'll call it

a restaurant.

Fine.

And we know it will be delicious,

because you're such a great chef.

Keep up the good work, soldier.

War is hell.

What was that all about?

A compliment.

I'm not surprised you didn't recognize it.

Do you have a problem with the way

I'm doing these reviews?

You know, as a matter of fact, I do.

You're upsetting people.

Nobody likes criticism, but we get over it.

Just like I'm going to get over the way

you're talking to me right now.

If you compliment someone before you criticize them

and then end with a compliment, people tend to take

the criticism much better.

It's called a compliment sandwich,

and it totally works.

Tons of studies say so. - Mm-hmm.

Seriously?

Who are these people doing these studies?

Because they sound like a bunch of whiny babies to me.

Can we just try my way, please?

You know, if it works, isn't it worth it

taking a little extra time to spare someone else's feelings?

Fine, but if it doesn't work, I'm sending you

some of my cousin's tomatoes.

So how'd your review go?

Well, apparently I take too long to give answers

to very simple questions.

But details are necessary.

Without them, you have no context.

Without context, you don't have understanding.

And without understanding, you have nothing.

Well, I guess they'd rather live in ignorance.

Thank you.

How'd yours go?

Well, I'm not supposed to complain about customers

who are idiots.

What?

You worked really hard on your recipes.

You're entitled to get upset

when someone doesn't appreciate them.

And you should be able to talk as much as you want,

because you're a funny little guy.

And you're a tall man who speaks the truth.

Aww.

Are the baby's feelings hurt after a little criticism?

Let me play you a sad song on the world's smallest cello.

Um, you're supposed to play the world's smallest violin.

That looks like you're brushing your knees.

Well, I don't know how to play the violin,

because my mom said playing the violin

would make me look like a giant.

Well, we're not being babies.

We can take criticism.

Yeah, we just don't like it.

You want me to give you a little advice?

No.

Always expect the worst.

You can't get too low if you're already living

in the basement, baby.

Listen to Yo-Yo Ma.

Gabby, you're up.

All right, MacAllister.

Give it to me straight.

I can take it.

I warmed up earlier by FaceTiming my mom

with no makeup.

Actually, Gabby, Isabella will be leading your review.

Ah.

OK, Sanchez, hit me where it hurts.

Gabby, you are one of the best bartenders

I've ever seen.

OK.

The customers love you. The staff loves you.

I mean, even the mean guy

who delivers the beef loves you.

Well, you know, he's not so bad

once you figure out which eye to look at.

You're a valuable part of this team.

And we are so, so lucky and so, so grateful to have you.

Wow.

OK, this is the best day of my life.

Thank you, guys.

Hang on.

You haven't finished your sandwich yet.

What?

There is one thing we'd like you to work on.

We feel that sometimes you tend to overshare

a little with the customers.

Overshare?

How do I overshare?

Well, like that time a customer ordered

a Reuben sandwich, and you told them how you dated

a circus clown named Reuben,

who dumped you at a Greyhound bus station.

He claimed there was no room in his car,

and everyone knows that is a lie!

Time to slap on that other piece of bread.

But what we really want you to carry away from here

is that you are a vital piece of the Happy's Place family.

Still the best day of your life?

OK. I'm confused.

You complimented me, then you criticized me,

but then you complimented me again.

Exactly, yes.

Why are you playing with my mind?

You lowered my defenses, so I wasn't prepared

when you kicked me between the cello holders.

And here I thought gluten-free was

the worst kind of sandwich.

Liver and onions.

No onions?

Are you nuts?

Liver needs help.

It's wrong, but you can't say anything.

Are we suddenly supposed to not care?

This is insanity.

Man, I cannot believe them.

What? What'd they say?

Well, after emotionally waterboarding me,

they said that I overshare with the customers.

You? Oversharing?

Did they mean overcaring?

You are not just a bartender.

You're a therapist, a psychic, a minister.

Your personal stories have probably saved lives.

Maybe pull it back a little bit.

Hey, can you guys keep it down in there?

The customers can hear you out here.

Oh, really?

Well, don't tell the bosses,

or it'll end up on my next Happy Check.

What do you mean?

Well, Takoda, I can't help but notice

that you were not called into the office.

Why? Is that because you're perfect?

Or because you're a spy?

What?

I'm not a spy.

Well, well, well, look who thinks he's perfect.

Well, I don't think I'm that either.

I'm just like you guys.

I've got tons of flaws.

Name one.

Well, one time I--

- Uh-uh-- - One time you what?

You couldn't come up with a lie fast enough?

Yeah.

Sorry, Undercover Boss, but I ain't signing a waiver.

You guys gotta help me.

I need a Happy Check.

A bad one.

What's gotten into you?

Everyone's ticked off at you guys,

and they think I'm a spy.

A spy?

That's crazy.

If anything, you're a teacher's pet.

Keep it down.

They might hear you.

Wait, hold on.

What do you mean everyone's ticked off at us?

I don't know if I should say.

Why not?

They already think you're a spy.

Oh, man.

This must be why James Bond doesn't have any friends.

Whoa, whoa. Where are you going?

I'm going to go talk to them.

I don't want them upset.

I think if I explained to Steve and Emmett

that their reviews weren't as bad as you made them sound,

they'll feel better.

So you think this is all my fault?

How do you explain Gabby's reaction?

Can we ever explain Gabby's reactions?

Isabella, listen to me.

Talking to 'em is only going to make it worse.

The best thing we can do is just leave 'em alone.

Yeah.

I'm going to go talk to them.

Well, I hope they listen to you

better than you listen to me.

I just don't find it fair

when I tried to do it in the nicest way possible.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't take a criticism unless you tell me

how wonderful I am first.

Isabella, let it go.

No, I don't want them to be upset,

especially because my critiques weren't even that big a deal.

OK.

What? What was that?

Come on, ladies.

Where I come from, snorting leads to hair-pulling.

I just think it is really easy for certain people

not to expect other people to get upset

at those certain people when those certain people never

have to get criticized by those other people.

Now, are you certain people and I'm other people?

Or am I other people and you're certain people?

All I know is, it is really easy for you two,

because you never have to get criticized.

Wait, is that what's bothering you?

Yeah.

Well, would it make you feel better

if you all got to criticize us?

- Yeah. - Wait. Wait.

No, we don't want to do that.

What's the problem? It only seems fair.

Yeah, Bobbie, what's the problem?

It only seems fair.

I don't have to be fair.

I'm the boss.

Last time I sat in a circle like this,

I was only allowed to use my first name.

So what the heck is this again?

Well, just as Bobbie and I had some suggestions for you

about how you do your jobs, we thought

you might have something to say about how we do our jobs.

Yeah, well, not to your face.

Did you approve this? - Sure.

I mean, I don't know. Whatever.

Just join the circle.

Uh, I think what Bobbie means to say

is that we are walking into this

with open minds and hearts.

And closed fists.

We are doing this so that there are no hard feelings

and everybody feels heard.

Well, I would just like to say, Isabella,

that that is truly admirable.

You're a real leader.

Oh, well, thank you.

Except you build people up just to tear them down.

You're like a Taylor Swift revenge song.

Really? You didn't see that coming?

Gabby, I'm not just trying to build you up.

I actually think you do a great job, and--

OK, save it, sister.

I'm not falling for that crap anymore.

It's not crap.

It's-- - I have a complaint.

In conversations, you always have to have the last word.

I don't think I do that.

Believe me, you do.

Agree to disagree.

You just did it.

Maybe move on to friendlier shores.

OK, but he's wrong.

Takoda...

You haven't said anything yet.

Oh. Well, this ought to be good.

I can't wait to hear what Benedict Arnold has

to say about our dear leaders.

I'm not a spy.

Exactly what a spy would say to himself in the mirror

practicing how not to sound like a spy.

Isabella, you put a target on my back.

Oh, hang on. I was in there too.

It's OK, Bobbie.

He's just making an observation.

Yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself

to sleep at night, sweetie.

Are these the sticks or the stones?

OK, y'all have picked on her enough.

Doesn't anybody have anything bad to say about me?

I do.

Why the hell would you agree to Isabella's stupid idea?

OK, good session.

I'm going to go and--

and--

and I'm going.

Well, y'all happy now that you made her cry?

both: Kind of, yeah.

Well, I'm not.

Your boo-hoo complaining was not enough?

You had to go and only pick on Isabella.

There's a good reason for that.

We're scared of you.

I'm not.

Oh, yeah.

Emmett, you're a big old tough guy.

We get it.

So does that girl out there crying.

I'm not proud of that.

Well, you shouldn't be.

Y'all are some of the best people I know,

and you attack the one person

that was just trying to help you.

I feel terrible.

You should.

Spying is a terrible thing.

There you are.

I thought you ran out in the alley.

I did, but the trash has a bunch of cabbage in it

right now, so I thought I'd just wait in here.

Well, you have every reason to.

They were way out of line.

No, they weren't.

They were just doing what I asked them to

in a really mean and spiteful way.

Oh, honey, you only did that because you care so much.

I mean, I also did it because I know that criticism hurts

my feelings, and I don't want to make

another person feel that way.

I get it, but you need to weather the storm.

People being mad at you is just part of being the boss.

I just don't take it personally.

You're right. I know.

Don't get down on yourself.

You bring out the good in people.

That's why we love having you around so much.

OK, why are you grinning like that?

Because I think you just gave me a compliment sandwich.

Oh, no, I didn't.

Wow.

Bobbie learned something from me.

You keep grinning like that,

I'm going to give you a Happy Check.

Well, just be sure to compliment me like you learned.

You gotta be really right to leave a room like that.

Yeah, she's really right.

Isabella, I have an update on that stove repair.

OK.

Siri, set a 15-second timer.

I called the guy we used last time,

but he's out sick, so I found another guy who can do it.

But we're going to have to open up early,

because he has to get out of here by 9:00

to get to his brother's wedding.

It's the brother's third marriage,

and nobody likes the bride.

But he's still got to go, and they'll fix it on Tuesday.

Great.

Well done, Steve.

Thank you.

At first, I thought I needed 20 seconds,

but then I talked to my cousin's dog-sitter,

and he said--

Ding.

Isabella.

Unhappy Cathy just ordered a Sex on The Beach,

and she still has no idea what I did in Tahiti.

I'm proud of you, Gabby.

I am keeping it all in.

I'm probably growing a tumor, but my tips are up 20%.

I think those performance reviews

are starting to pay off.

Mm-hmm.

Bobbie, Emmett won't cook a steak medium-well again.

Emmett.

What?

Did the narc tell you I just said no?

I didn't call the customer an idiot like I wanted to.

I got this.

Emmett!

Stop your hooting and hollering

and give the customer what he wants.

You got it, Boss.

See?

I learned something from you too.

Takoda, you care too much about what other people think.

That's something you can work on.

Thank you!

Did you guys hear that?

Isabella really gave it to me.