Original subtitles

OK, I just want to say something

before Steve comes in here with the weekly numbers.

You have the floor.

You're wearing it out, but you have it.

I just want to remind us that we said it would take time

for the speakeasy gets going, you know?

- I remember. - Mm-hmm.

'Cause I said it.

And it's only been open a week.

And look at the fun we're having already.

I finished my report.

Wait. Do I have time to throw up?

No, because if you throw up, then I'll have to throw up.

No, no, no, no.

She's a little nervous.

OK, then let me just get to it.

The speakeasy did...

OK.

OK?

Is that good?

I got a haircut once, and my mom said it looked OK.

Then she bought me a hat.

We lost a little money.

Look, I'm sorry.

I promise I'll make it up next week.

Oh, honey, that's so sweet.

And also impossible.

I believe in your vision.

And if it'll make you feel any better,

I could maybe look around for some savings.

Are you talking about one of your famous poke-arounds?

What's a poke-around?

It's when I scour the tavern.

It's kind of like cleaning,

but instead of looking for dirt,

I'm looking for money.

He's great at it.

It's one of the benefits of having an accountant

that's also a financial genius.

I wouldn't call myself a genius.

But you did, so yeah.

Great.

Oh, and while you're doing that,

I'll talk to some of our suppliers,

see if we can get some discounts.

Great, and while you guys are doing that,

I could sell my plasma.

You'd get more for a kidney.

What? I'm a financial genius.

- ♪ Sometimes it feels like a big ol' fight ♪

♪ To get through the day ♪

♪ And sleep on through the night ♪

♪ But here you'll find a place ♪

♪ That'll surely lift your spirits ♪

♪ You belong at Happy's Place ♪

Oh, Steve, you are never going to believe what

Tall Cathy said last night--

Gabby, I must stop you.

Even though I love gossip and Tall Cathy is a mess...

Yes.

I can't. I'm doing a poke-around.

How exciting!

You haven't done one of those in a while.

Takoda, Steve is doing a poke-around.

Ooh, fun.

Has he found anything?

Oh, not yet, but he's got that look.

He is on to something.

Gabby, after you've used the orange peels for garnishes,

what happens to the fruit?

Take it out back and I whack it

with that golf club I found in the dumpster.

Just--

What you're whacking is money.

I'd like you to start juicing these.

Then we can cut back on our costs

for orange juice for the mimosas.

Steve, how do you keep

finding stuff after all these years?

Eh, it's a gift, but it's still not enough.

Ooh, check my side work. Maybe there's something here.

Move.

Hey!

Uh-huh.

Do you remember when Bobbie had you come in

to refinish the tabletops?

Where is he going with this?

If I'm not mistaken, Takoda,

you used Dr. Orville's Clear Gloss Varnish, right?

For a finish that you can trust.

So let's trust it.

Ditch the coasters.

I'm not picking those up.

I'll get them later.

But it's still not enough.

It's just peanuts!

And I've already got rid of the peanuts!

Too bad there's not someone

who could do your savings magic on you.

Oh, that's right, Steve. You need a you.

There's still money to be found.

To the basement!

Watch out for spiders.

Not to the basement.

Hey, have you ever been to a music venue

called the Open Court?

Why? What have you heard?

Because they didn't throw me out.

I left on my own.

In the company of bouncers.

OK, well, Monica sent me a text about a blues festival

they're having there next weekend.

- Hmm. - Looks like a good time, huh?

Yeah.

Oh, wait-- I'm sorry, wait.

Uh, so when did she send you that text?

Uh, couple hours ago.

Uh-huh. And?

And what?

Well, when are you gonna text her back?

I'm not.

Emmett, so you don't want to go to the festival?

What? No, I do.

I'm gonna see her Wednesday, so I'll just tell her then.

You're going to leave that woman in the dark

for three days not knowing what's up and what's down?

I didn't think about it like that.

Yeah.

Let me explain this to you

in a way I think that you're going to understand.

Texting is like ping-pong.

You wouldn't not hit a ball back, right?

So you just got a ping,

and now, it is your turn to pong.

- That actually makes sense. - Mm.

All right, I'm gonna go pong her.

Maybe we don't say it like that.

OK, ladies.

Happy's Place has officially been poked around.

You are gonna want to stand up for this.

Isn't the expression

"you're gonna want to sit down for this?"

You can't give someone a standing ovation

if you're sitting down.

Wait, are-- are you saying you found enough

to cover the speakeasy losses for the week?

Oh, honey, I found enough to cover the speakeasy losses

for a year.

Oh, honey! Are you serious?

Have I told you that I love you more than anyone

in the whole wide world?

Like I said, the man can find a dime hiding inside a nickel.

Mm.

But really, I didn't think there was a lot left to cut.

Not really. Nothing small.

That's why on this poke-around, I went big.

Listen to him, "I went big."

He's amazing.

I love him more than anyone in the whole wide world.

Well, don't keep us in suspense.

What's this big way to cut the budget?

You

are going

to fire me!

So you want me to save money

by firing the man who saves me money?

That's such a bad idea, I ought to fire you for it.

Bobbie, the only place the poke-around hasn't poked around

is with me.

Oh, sweet Steve.

Offering to sacrifice himself

to keep me from feeling like a failure.

No. I mean, I like you, but--

So why are you saying this?

Because this is a move

the tavern will eventually have to make.

I've been tracking this revolution for a while.

What revolution?

AI.

AI?

The thing that made the video

of the Pope dunking a basketball?

Oh, I saw that--

There are new AI accounting models

that can do everything I do.

Not interested.

I'm not walking in here and seeing a computer

sitting in your chair putting on hand sanitizer.

You pay me to give you good financial advice,

and that's what this is.

You have to let me show you what's available

and you have to consider it. - Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Is he serious?

With money, Steve's always serious.

Fortunately, this time, he's also full of crap.

There's no way a computer can do what he does around here.

Well, apparently, Steve thinks it can.

So what are we gonna do?

Oh, honey.

Then I guess we're just going to have to

find a way to prove him wrong.

- Hey, Gabby. - Hey.

Thanks again for helping me out earlier.

I, uh, texted Monica back and

I feel pretty good about it.

Aw, well, it is thanks enough just seeing that little smile

peeking through the bushes of your goatee.

Ah.

So what'd you text her?

"Sounds good."

Oh.

OK, um--

Mm.

Uh, I mean, you used some fun punctuation, right?

I did. I put a period at the end.

Wow. OK.

OK, OK, OK.

Oh, Emmett!

It is like you basically just told her

to go straight to hell.

What? No, I didn't.

Emmett.

In person, your dispassionate grunts possess a certain charm.

In text,

you're a psychopath.

I can't change the kind of guy I am, Gabby.

I'm not a words guy.

Of course.

You know, what? And you don't have to be.

You can be an emojis guy.

No, I don't think so.

I barely know what those are.

"Emoji" comes from the Latin derivative "emote"

because they express emote-ions.

OK.

So what do you want to express to Monica?

I don't know.

Uh, I like blues

and I don't want her to go straight to hell.

Mm, easy.

I am thinking that we do--

not now!

Um...

yellow heart,

little guy with a guitar,

and ice cube emoji.

All right. You're the expert.

Well, I really am.

I don't wanna brag,

but I have not been texted back hundreds of times.

Oh, what'd she say?

Uh, looks like a little man with frostbite

and a sloppy guy with his tongue hanging out.

Is that, uh--is that good?

Oh, Emmett.

It's great.

I don't understand.

You told Steve you didn't want to use

the AI program he showed you, but you bought it anyway?

No, they let you try it for free.

Because they think one taste, and you'll be hooked.

Kind of like with pretzels.

Dang, now I want pretzels.

So how are we going to prove to Steve that he's better than it?

Well, he saved us a ton on last year's taxes.

Let's see what AI would have saved us.

OK. Where's our financial file?

OK.

That file right there, the one that says Dog Pictures.

Quick question.

Why is it labeled Dog Pictures?

Security.

If someone hacks my computer,

they're not going to open a folder that says Dog Pictures.

Well, unless they like dogs.

Click on it. What's it say now?

Cat Pictures.

Yeah, if someone likes dogs,

they're not gonna want to be seeing a bunch of cat pictures.

I thought this through, Isabella.

Game over, hackers.

- There you go. - Psh, yeah.

OK. Uh, our financial file.

OK.

Now, open the AI minion from hell.

You know, this looks pretty simple to do.

Very user-friendly. - Mm-hmm.

Hello there.

I'm the Money Fairy.

It talks like a person.

I thought it would...

Sound like this when it talked.

Are we ready to get started? Please, input your files.

OK. It looks like I put the spreadsheet in here.

That's correct. You're doing great.

Aw. Well, thank you.

Stop eating the pretzels.

Task received. Thanks.

You bet.

Good luck.

Yeah, I hope you didn't make any plans for tonight.

I have completed the task.

Oh, honey.

You wanted to see me?

I did.

You're gonna want to sit down for this.

OK.

We used your AI model to see how it would have done

on last year's taxes compared to you.

You tried it out?

- Uh-huh. - And?

And unfortunately...

you kicked its butt!

Yeah, maybe we should start calling it A-with-a-black-I.

A black eye.

Good one.

OK. I see what happened.

It puts some of the categories on the wrong fields.

Oh!

Nice going, dumbass!

Yeah.

I can't have an AI accountant make those kind of mistakes.

Hit the road, heifer!

It'll learn and it'll never make that mistake again.

Well, we like the guy that currently has the job, so--

You have to listen to me.

This is what the world is becoming.

Your competitors will embrace this.

They will save money, they will lower their prices,

they will put you out of business.

This is the future.

I think we'll be fine.

This tavern has to survive!

When I came here,

I didn't fit anywhere else, but I fit here,

and I'm gonna make sure that this tavern remains

for the next person that needs a place to fit in.

Steve, you're a very important part of this place.

Thank you, Bobbie.

But I'm not.

I'm the numbers guy.

I'm the thing that's replaceable.

Not to me.

I'd miss you.

Me too.

I'll still be coming around.

I'll definitely still be using my employee discount.

This is for the best.

I have corrected my mistake.

- Shut up, heifer! - Shut up, heifer!

Takoda, I need you in the kitchen!

Now!

Do you need me to cover the grill?

No, I need you to cover my phone.

I'm in the weeds with Monica.

Send a confetti emoji.

What?

I don't know. Just do it.

She sent back a picture of a truck.

I don't know if it's hers

or-- - It--it--it doesn't matter.

You know what?

Just send back a big red exclamation point emoji.

"Cutest thing ever."

Send an exploding head emoji.

She sent back a cartoon version

of herself riding a unicycle?

What?

Burgers and fries!

Burgers and fries, sent.

- No, that was to Gabby. - Sorry.

No, it's fine. Just go.

I mean--

I should have never pulled you into this.

Go.

Save yourself!

Exploding head emoji.

Follow me, but don't make it obvious.

Lock it.

Steve, you were right. This software is amazing.

It does learn.

You did it, Steve.

This is the future.

Oh, did you know that you can ask it

for more ways to save money?

Money Fairy, did you like giving us suggestions?

Yes, and I have lots of other ideas to talk about.

Oh, that's OK.

We have plenty, my little, helpful electronic box.

Has she told you how she can link

customer orders to the inventory

so reorders are automatic?

No, but she did tell us how to get rid of Takoda.

What? What-- what are you talking about?

Oh, she showed us how people can order

directly from their phone,

so we can get rid of all our waiters and waitresses.

You can't get rid of Takoda!

Well, tell it to the future.

'Cause Tinkerbell here says he ain't in it.

- Oh, same for Gabby. - Mm-hmm.

Gabby?

You're not going to have a bartender in your bar?

She showed us an AI bartending machine.

She says payroll savings pay for it in less than a year.

And they don't give away drinks

when they're flirting with customers.

Oh, yeah.

You cannot be serious about this.

Of course we're not!

But she is.

She's coming for all of us,

but we refuse to eat her pretzels!

Steve, you said you're a numbers person.

Is that all you think you are around here?

What else am I?

A huge part of this family.

The best family in the whole wide world.

Yeah, I know that.

I do.

That's why I would do anything to protect it.

This is where the world is headed.

This is coming.

Then let it come.

And when it does, they'll find us,

a family, doing what we love.

Yeah, here was AI's other big savings idea:

close the speakeasy.

But you said you believed in my vision.

Because you're not a numbers guy.

You're a human being who's great at numbers.

You're stuck with us, bub.

I'm so relieved.

I didn't know where the hell I was going to go.

Well, get out there and save your seat

before some computer tries to steal it.

Ooh, let's go watch Gabby flirt and give out drinks.

Even though it never works?

- Yes. - Fun!

So cute.

Bobbie.

What do you want?

What you said to Steve was very sweet.

Oh. Well, thanks.

Nice of you to say that.

You and I don't need the rest of them.

Be gone, demon!

Beautiful night, huh?

Is it?

Everything work out with the texting?

No, I don't know what's going on anymore.

What do you mean?

We've exchanged so many emojis

and G-I-Fs,

I've lost track of what we're talking about.

Hey.

Do you remember when I told you

that you were charming in person?

You mean with my dispassionate grunts?

Yeah, those.

- Yep. - Very charming.

You may not think you're a words guy, Emmett, but you are.

You don't use a lot of them, but they always sound...

honest.

Well, thank you.

Let me see your phone for a second.

Trust me.

There's something cool that you can do on it.

It's kind of old-school, like you.

- Mm. - It's ringing.

Hey, Monica.

Yeah.

Uh, listen, can I be honest with you?

I'm just not a texter.

Yes!

Oh, right.

They're the worst. Ever!

Oh, well, I know.

I know.

Hey, you remember call waiting?

Oh, yeah.

Well, those were the good days.