Original subtitles

Okay, lady, where would you like your garbage?

The garbage collectors are still on strike?

Well, it's either that

or it rained four inches of bottles and cans last night.

Come here. Give me a hand with this thing.

It's wonderful outside.

It's cold, the streets are stacked with garbage...

We men in... garbage...

Well, I don't know what we're gonna do. We're running out of space.

Hey. I got it.

We'll get a big box, and we'll gift wrap it.

- Gift wrap it? - Babe, think like a New Yorker.

What happens if I leave a big box tied with a ribbon in the backseat of the cab?

Somebody steals it.

Steals it. Right.

Hey, at least there's good news for the cabdrivers.

What?

I said, at least--

Never mind.

I said, at least there's good news for the cabdrivers.

In New York?

That, I've gotta see.

Right here. Subway slowdown starts today.

Terrific.

- Oh, your jacket. - Mm.

Don't forget, six o'clock drinks at my folks' house.

Six o'clock? Let's see, I get off at five.

Oh, yeah, well, that leaves me at least an hour to find a parking space.

Hi.

How was school today?

Oh, it was a little hectic.

- There was a protest rally. - No kidding.

No. There was pushing and shoving and shouting.

Gee, those kids must have really been rough.

No, no, those were the teachers.

Hey, Bernie.

Michael. Mrs. Fitzgerald.

Bernie, I want you to meet an old friend of the family's,

Arthur Comstock.

- How do you do, sir? - Pleased to meet you.

Please, uh, sit down.

I've been looking forward to meeting you.

- You're a talented young man. - He certainly is.

Yeah, well, if you mean, by talent,

the ability to park in half a spot.

It's not too easy, especially on the cab.

I meant you're a talented writer.

Too talented a writer to be just driving a taxicab.

Uh, Dad gave Arthur a copy of that article you wrote for The Village Voice, Bernie.

And I read the story you did for Global magazine.

I think you're a good writer. And I can always use good writers.

Arthur is the owner and the publisher of The Providence Dispatch.

And I'm always on the lookout for a bright young reporter.

Me? A newspaper reporter? I...

I don't know what to say.

I mean, I've never thought about working for a paper before.

Writing, isn't it? Plus, it pays pretty well.

And Providence, Rhode Island, isn't exactly the end of the world.

As a matter of fact, it's a charming, exciting, and a clean city.

Unlike this madhouse.

Yes, but do they have a Saks Fifth Avenue?

[Walter] Can you believe it?

Can you believe it? No, you're never, ever gonna believe it.

- [Mike] What? - Daddy, are you all right?

No, I'm not, and I never will be the same.

- Hello, Arthur. I'm sorry I'm late. - Walt.

I... had to take the subway home!

Dad, four million people use the subway every day.

Why do they all have to be on my train?

- What happened to the limousine? - Don't ask me.

Ask the police. They towed it away.

Oh, well, that was nice of them.

Well, it was.

It saved you having to make a call to the automobile club.

It wasn't broken. It was just momentarily double-parked.

First one that says "Fun City" to me again...

Now you know why, when I left Columbia University,

I turned north on the New England Turnpike and kept going.

Dad, Arthur was making Bernie a very interesting offer before you came.

Very interesting.

Well, if it has anything to do with cementing over the subway system,

I pledge a thousand dollars.

Well, Bernie, I know it's a big decision,

and I have a plane to catch, but think it over.

- I will. - Let me know by the end of the week.

- Great. I'll do that. - Think what over?

Walt, please, you've had enough trouble today

without knowing that Bridget and Bernie are thinking about moving

to the end of the world.

So, what do you think?

I don't know.

I mean, I'm not sure I wanna work for a newspaper.

And then, you know, moving to Providence, it's...

Well, sweetheart, whatever you decide,

it's fine with me.

Do you know something?

You are a terrific lady.

- See you later, gang. - [Sophie] Bernie.

- What? - What's wrong?

- Nothing's wrong. - All that whistling and singing.

- I'm happy. - In New York?

With all the smog, during a garbage strike?

Nobody's that happy.

All right, look, I was gonna save it for later,

when I wasn't in such a rush, but, uh,

I've just been offered a job by a friend of Mr. Fitzgerald's,

writing for a newspaper.

- You're kidding me. - No.

What, The News?

- The Post? - The Dispatch.

The Dispatch? Where's that?

- Providence. - Rhode Island?

I knew he had bad news.

Sophie, see those long pants?

That means your son has got a life of his own.

- I haven't really made up my mind yet. - Congratulations.

At the risk of being struck by a bolt of lightning,

it sounds like a wonderful opportunity.

Dad. I mean, you really think so?

Take it from a man whose father once had the opportunity

to leave Russia for America.

Since when is New York like Russia?

Since the garbage men overthrew the government.

Look, Ma, I know it's kind of sudden,

but writing jobs don't grow on trees, you know.

- [Sam] Sophie. - Hmm?

You're putting coleslaw in the potato salad.

So, what am I hurting?

The potato salad.

Look, and another thing, if I do take it, Ma,

I mean, it's a chance for me to do what I want, you know, write.

And getting out of this city with all its craziness.

But then again, I ought to keep my mouth shut.

After all, you and Bridget have to make up your own minds.

Dad, thanks.

I mean, who knows? Maybe my ship has come in.

Well, if it does, I hope my pickled herring isn't on it.

I just heard there's gonna be a dock strike.

Uncle Moe, guess what.

- I've got the best news in the-- - Don't tell me.

Bernie's got a terrific job offer.

A newspaper reporter

for a very influential paper in Providence.

Well, I couldn't be happier.

For the both of you.

Even if that's not a very easy thing for me to say.

- Well, why? - Why?

Because I'm gonna miss you when you move away to Rhode Island.

Rhode Island isn't that far away.

Pussycat, to a New Yorker, Rhode Island is as good as Europe.

And Europe ain't exactly a subway ride away.

- But go. - Oh.

Well, have you given Comstock an answer yet?

No. We haven't made up our minds.

We thought we'd talk it over with everyone and see what you all thought.

Newspaper reporting's not a bad career.

That's how Ernest Hemingway started.

And Winston Churchill.

But they didn't hold their jobs very long.

Amy, if I may?

I think it's a marvelous opportunity.

Mother, what do you think?

Oh, dear, I don't know.

New England's so far away.

No, Providence is only a couple of hours.

You never did like seafood that much. It always gave you the hives.

And there's no Saks.

- Or Tiffany's. - It's okay, Amy.

The wagon trains are getting through now with all sorts of supplies.

Oh.

The important thing is that you'll be leaving this jungle.

Which you wouldn't leave for anything in the world.

I didn't say I didn't like it.

But you do think that Bernie should definitely take the job?

I didn't say that either.

No, now, that's up to you two. You have to make up your own mind.

Oh, your father's right.

Breaking our hearts is not the issue.

Well, Michael, we're absolutely torn.

Both fathers are giving us every reason to take the job in Providence.

And your two mothers?

Well, they're giving us every reason to believe

they're gonna destroy themselves

if we set one foot outside the city limits.

Okay. Well, you want my opinion, now, huh?

Well...

Let's just say a reasonably objective point of view.

Well, there is no doubt,

the job offer's an excellent opportunity for both of you.

And the benefits of raising a family in a stable and safe environment,

unlike New York City, is a fantastic plan.

And why couldn't we make it that simple?

- Thank you, Michael. - [Mike] But...

on the other hand...

What?

For a writer, Bernie,

New York City is the cultural center of the country.

And people have been known to raise civilized children

within the confines of our city.

Now, witness the three of us.

So...

That's it? That's your opinion?

Well, I do have one very strong feeling.

- What? - The final decision's up to you.

Michael, that's wonderful. Thank you very much.

Well, easy come, easy go.

[Bernie] Babe?

Bernie, what is it?

- I've decided, I'm gonna take the job. - Well, what convinced you?

- My last fare. - What did he say?

"Stick 'em up."

I never thought Bernie would accept that job in Providence.

To tell you the truth, neither did I.

Then why did you both encourage them?

At the time, it seemed like a good idea.

Well, I could always call Comstock and have him withdraw the job offer.

Oh, come on, Dad.

Now, this is strictly up to Bernie and to Bridget.

Now, you said so yourself.

Only because I didn't think they'd be foolish enough to accept.

Well, I don't think you should interfere.

Oh, honestly, Michael, I know it's your job to be,

but sometimes I wish you weren't always so... good.

Sophie, how did the matzo balls get in the borscht?

What difference does it make now?

Have you ever seen anything like this?

Not since breakfast,

when I got cream and sugar in my orange juice.

Can I help it if I'm gonna miss the children?

Well, you don't have to cry.

I'm not.

I'm allergic to my new mascara.

But I'd like to cry.

Frankly, I don't know how the Fitzgeralds can take it.

If the Steinbergs are taking it like we're taking it...

It's a rotten situation.

Aha! You can't take it either.

Five months they were living upstairs.

The nicest five months of my life.

And that's including my pregnancy.

And now it's all over.

They're leaving us.

You remember when they decided to get married?

You didn't want your daughter to marry a cabdriver.

You didn't want your son to marry a Catholic.

Oh, those were the good old days.

Hold it. Hold it right there.

What is this? All of a sudden everybody's in mourning, sitting shiva?

Excuse me. I meant wake.

It's worse.

At a wake, you have fun.

The point is, Bridget and Bernie are not dead.

They're alive, with their whole life ahead of them.

We should be happy for them.

We are, Moe.

But we'd be so much happier for them if they weren't leaving town.

You're right.

It's so much nicer all around

if you've got something to live for.

Yes.

Well, look, I'm gonna miss them too,

but now that they made up their minds, what they need is encouragement.

We got no right to make them feel guilty.

Who's making them feel guilty?

[Bridget] Hi, everybody.

Hello.

Well, here they are.

How was your day?

[Bernie] Well, eventful, that's for sure.

Did you call Mr. Comstock?

Oh, better than that. We drove up to Providence to see him.

We found ourselves a great apartment with a lovely view

and our own garden.

A garden? Oh, how wonderful.

Oh, it's so hard to have a garden in New York.

Well, I mean, it's such a bother

having to drag all that dirt up on the roof.

Well, I guess that's it.

Yup. All set.

Uh, look, this wasn't by any chance a family conference about us leaving?

Who said?

- Oh, no. - Pfft.

- Oh, never. - Oh, no. A family conference.

Good. Mr. Comstock's expecting us on Monday.

What about your job?

I'll send the school board my resignation.

Oh, Monday. Oh, good.

Terrific. Uh, Sam, isn't that terrific?

- It's the best news I've had all day. - All year.

We kind of, um... we kind of thought you'd be shook.

- Shook? - Never.

Oh, no.

It would take more than Providence to shake us.

Chicago, maybe.

Dad, uh, look, we took an ad in the classifieds,

you know, to sublet the apartment.

Oh?

Um, "Darling upper two with built-in deli.

Spectacular view. Perfect for young couple."

- She insisted on the schmaltz. - How's it sound?

Good. Very good.

Terrific.

- Best ad I heard all day. - All year.

Ow.

How you doing?

Well, considering I've lost two fingers from frostbite...

And another from the wrench, not bad.

I'm gonna kind of miss the old place. Aren't you?

Just a little bit?

Not in the slightest?

- Hey, travelers. - Hey, babe, how are you? Sit down.

How do you like it? Saw it in Shaft.

Well, uh...

I'll put some coffee on.

No, no, Bridge. I'm double-parked. I'll only be a second.

I just wanna drop this off.

It's from all the guys down at the cab company.

We couldn't think of anything else you could use,

so we gold-plated your cab key.

I don't even know what to say.

Forget it. Just stay in touch, you hear?

You too. You take good care.

Okay.

- Come on. Goodbye, Bridge. - Bye.

Come on, now, not you too.

Stop it.

You're gonna have a lot of company.

I'm still trying to get over those four smiling basket cases this afternoon.

Well, it was such a nice thing.

Can't I cry over a nice thing?

Listen, uh...

you do wanna go, don't you?

Well, don't you?

Sure, I wanna go. Um...

Then I wanna go.

- Morning. - Morning.

It's Uncle Moe. He promised he'd bring up some cartons.

Oh, pardon me, uh, is this the apartment that's for rent?

Uh... Oh, yes, I'm sorry. Please come in.

Hi.

- Hi. - [Bernie] Hi.

Hi.

- Oh, I'm Roger Melton. - Hi.

- And this is my wife, Rachel. - Hi.

I'm Bridget, and this is my husband, Bernie Steinberg.

- Hi. How do you do? - Oh, the ad was right. It's darling.

Caught you early.

Oh, I may have exaggerated a little bit about the view.

Oh, no, you didn't. It's spectacular.

You know, I bet if you really leaned out,

you could almost see the Williamsburg Bridge.

Or Furillo's candy store.

Oh, Roger, isn't it perfect?

It sure is.

Oh, uh, I'm sorry about that.

Yeah. We've been meaning to do something about it.

Oh...

[Rachel] Oh, Roger, look at the kitchen.

Oh, it can be adorable.

Can't you see it in a bright lime with orange trim?

And a yellow and brown living room.

Yeah.

I can rip out those bookshelves. It'll give us a lot more space.

Gee, uh...

You know, I... I built those myself. I think you'll find that--

- Yeah? - What do you think, Roger?

- What do you think? - Yes.

We'll take it.

Hey, you know, uh, before you leap into this,

I think there are a couple of things about the place that you ought to know.

Uh, there's a leak, you know, that's right over that dining area.

Oh.

[Bernie] Uh...

- The knob keeps coming off the radiator. - And it doesn't really work anyway.

- It's everything I've always dreamed of. - It is?

Also, you've gotta remember, you're living right over a delicatessen,

so I hope you like the smell of corned beef.

Oh, it's my favorite.

Our favorite. Our favorite.

There's a draft, uh, comes, uh, right...

- It whistles right through. - Yeah.

Oh, it doesn't matter. We love fresh air.

Well, what we're trying to say is, uh, that, well, it's not exactly a palace.

Maybe not to you, but it is to us.

This is our first apartment.

I'm sure you remember what it's like.

Yeah. We do.

Well, who do I make the check out to?

I'm sorry. It's already rented.

Rented?

- Yeah. - Well, why didn't you tell us?

Uh... I, uh... I'm really sorry.

I... I already took a deposit on it.

It's, uh...

- I'm sorry. - Oh.

Come on, baby.

Let's hope everybody's awake at the other address.

Bernie...

who'd you rent it to?

To us.

Sweetheart...

- I really don't wanna leave New York. - Oh, Bernie.

Understand, if we're gonna make it, we're gonna make it right here.

I'm talented. There are gonna be plenty of offers.

- Right. - Right.

Hey, I don't think you understand.

I mean, we're not going to Providence. We're gonna stay right here.

I know.

I don't wanna leave New York either.

Really?

Oh. Oh, I love you.

Do you believe what we had to go through

in order to find out what we really wanted?

I'm just glad we care enough to give up something.

Or to hang on to something that we really care about.

Like our home.

No more trying to read each other's minds, okay?

I'm very glad you said that,

considering, uh, what's going through my mind right now.

- [Bridget] isn't it a beautiful day? - [Bernie] Mm-hmm.

[Bridget] You can almost see the Empire State Building

through the smog.

[Bernie] Hey, do you see what I see? Look, a garbage truck.

A real live garbage truck.

[Bridget] The strike is over.

- Oh, my gosh. - What?

[Bridget] Our parents. We didn't tell our folks we're staying.

[Bernie] Oh. Come on. We gotta find a phone.

[Bridget] Yeah.

Mwah.

Hey!

- You all right? - What are you gonna tell them?

What do you mean? The truth, of course.

That as far as we're concerned, New York is it.

And that we love everything about it.

Well, almost everything.