Original subtitles

It's very lovely to have you staying

with us this week. I promise this to be

phones.

>> Indoor plumbing and [music] beds to

boot. I think you'll be quite cozy here.

Is every family here this week really

named Mac something [music] or other?

>> Yes, amazingly enough, young lady.

Will Mr. MacDougall be joining you? Uh

that would be a big fat no. They're

divorced. My dad has a girlfriend. And

she's really hot. Thank you, honey.

It's nice, isn't it?

Not really.

Yeah, okay. Um why don't [music] you two

take the front bedroom and I will take

the back bedroom. What about my privacy?

Hey, 8-year-old, if I can give up my

privacy, you can give up [music] yours.

Thanks, Sid. All right, you two unpack.

I'm going to take a shower and uh

when I'm done, you can come out there

and explore, okay?

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> I know the key is here somewhere.

My better half, Molly, you'll meet her,

must have put it in the wrong place.

Wonderful woman, but she's always

tidying things away. You do have a

reservation, right? Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, booked it myself.

Ah, here.

Here's the master. That'll get you into

the cabin. I'll stop by with your own

key as soon as it pops up.

All right, princess.

Pack up a bag.

There's only one bathroom in here? This

isn't going to be pretty. So, where are

we sleeping?

Well, I think the Mensches have the

front bedroom and maybe Bailey can have

the back BEDROOM TO YOURSELF.

MOM, WHAT'S WRONG?

Who are you and what are you doing in

our cabin? Uh

our cabin? Does this look like your

cabin? Well, if it has a five on the

door, then yes, it does. You're [music]

that guy from the highway.

>> Mom, it's the bonehead.

Look, look, I don't know what you're

doing in our cabin, but I would

appreciate it if you would just leave.

Otherwise, I'm afraid we're going to

have to call security. What, the old guy

at the front desk?

>> [music]

>> Good luck with that. All right, Bailey.

Shush.

Look, there's obviously some kind of

misunderstanding, so let's just go to

the office [music]

and we can work it out. You go to the

office, we'll stay here in our cabin.

Okay, fine.

Okay, kids, let's unpack.

Are you a 6-year-old?

It's up to you.

Fine.

I'll go to the office. Good. Good. Okay.

Okay. [music]

Oh, dear, this is quite embarrassing. An

honest mistake, really. It seems I took

Mrs. McDougal's reservation. And I I

took Mr. McDougal's reservation. Same

last name, same type of guest and

accommodations.

>> And then when I was assigning the cabins

for the [music] week, I must have

thought it was a duplicate reservation

and I held only the one room.

Amusing when you think about it.

Yes, [music] it is, but you can give him

his own cabin and we can keep ours,

right? That would be the logical thing.

>> If it wasn't for the meeting of the Mcs.

So, are you saying you have absolutely

no [music] other cabins? Not a one. Full

to the brim? As is every other hotel and

motel, holiday park and lodge and castle

[music] and cottage within 50 miles.

>> Uh 60?

Well, I'm really sorry that you have to

leave, but [music] just consider it bad

karma for yelling at an innocent driver.

What?

Our reservation is perfectly valid.

Well, I was here first.

>> now

>> sounds like a 6-year-old? I do not sound

like I'm 6-years-old.

>> Yes, you do.

>> No, I don't. I am unpacked. I am there

and I am not leaving. But, we have made

a reservation just the same as you.

There is one rather small cabin.

>> I'll take it. Oh, but that won't be

available for a day or maybe two. Nasty

plumbing problem, but I think I've

almost got it sorted out. So, what do we

do in the meantime?

>> Well, now I think as Mrs. MacDougall

checked in first No, no, dear, but Mr.

MacDougall made his reservation first.

>> [music]

>> Will you maybe want to consider a wee

>> [music]

>> I'm Connor. This is Tim and Bailey.

Sydney and [music] Miles. Folks, really,

this is a joyous week in our little part

of Scotland. Try not to let a wee issue

like a common Patience get in the way.

And [music] besides, I'm afraid sharing

is really the only solution.

Can I talk to you for [music] a moment?

Look,

as soon as your cabin is ready, you have

to leave.

>> You know, I don't much like your tone.

I'm not sure I much like you. Look,

you can make this [music] easy or you

can make it difficult.

Dad, this looks gross. It is not gross.

It is my famous Scottish lamb [music]

stew. Famous for what? Giving people

indigestion? No.

Famous [music] for being hearty, palate

pleasing, and most of all, not boring,

unlike, say, that. That [music] is a

chicken Caesar salad and it is not

boring.

I like to cook healthy. When you cook?

That's just cuz I work so hard, honey.

What do you do, if you don't mind me

asking.

Um, well, I'm the [music] vice president

of sales in the New York division of

Lorina Chain Shoes. Whoa, seriously?

Those are like my fantasy shoes. They're

amazing. Thank you. Those are expensive.

They are. That's why I said [music]

fantasy. So, um, what do you do, Connor?

I run the best auto body shop in central

Boston.

Break your car?

I'm your man.

No wonder you drive like a maniac.

>> [music]

>> You're drumming up business wherever you

go. Ha ha ha ha.

Anybody want any more?

>> [music]

>> I didn't even want this.

I'll have some more, Dad. Attaboy.

If he's having more,

>> [music]

>> you're not sitting next to me tonight.

>> [music]

[music]

>> What?

Mom?

I'm fine, honey.

What do you usually get?

>> Molly.

The spare cabin, is it ready? [music]

Uh, but Jared is actually working on the

pipes as we speak.

Oh my

goodness, will you look. I cannot tame

those blasted pipes for love nor money.

Got a mind of their own.

that mean we're stuck sharing that tiny

room? Like I said, worst vacation ever.

Ah,

this spare should help a bit.

Heard you wanted it. Uh, back better.

A speedy decision would be greatly

appreciated.

Well, you seem to fit quite nicely in

the bunk with Sydney. I'm on the floor.

I don't [music] fit. I fell out of bed

last night. Where is your sense of

chivalry? I left it in the divorce

court. Where is your sense of

cooperation? I left it on the highway

coming here.

Are you ever going to let that go? I

don't know about her, but we are.

And look, try and soak up the great

mattress debate by 10, huh? That's when

Wouldn't want the young ones to miss

out, now, would we?

You can have it. No, you take No,

really. It's fine. No, I don't want it.

You take it. No, you're absolutely

right. I can fit in the bunk with

Sydney. Okay.

Let's flip a coin.

I thought you didn't want it. I don't.

The winner doesn't get it. Wait, so even

when you lose, you want to win? What is

with you? I'm just trying to be nice.

Okay, then what what who who gets it?

Please.

Take the mattress.

Well, thank you.

That's very chivalrous of you.

Nice work, Pop.

>> [music]

>> Good morning. Good morning.

The annual meeting of the Mack

celebrates [music] the history of

Scottish descendants with a wonderful

range of activities. Including the

fabulous meeting of the Mack games, in

which four lucky families will compete

in a day of exciting athletic events.

>> Grand prize, the coveted Heart of the

Clan Award.

And of course, every visiting [music]

Mack family

is invited to compete.

Mom, can we? Please?

is [music] a broken nose or a chipped

tooth. I'll protect you. Instead of Tim,

huh? Why don't you be Tim? Are there any

wee questions before we start the games

registration? Y'all, why are you wearing

a dress?

Oh my [laughter] lord.

That's actually a very good question,

young man.

This is not actually a dress, but rather

a traditional Scottish kilt, which we

Highlanders have been wearing since the

1500s.

But first, would you and your lovely

mother like to be the fastest sign up

for the games? We'll be the first to

sign up.

Excellent.

Mom, you sign up, too.

Go,

please.

Just fill out this release form, and

[music] um you'll be all set.

You're not afraid of a little friendly

competition, are you?

>> [music]

>> Thank you.

You know which one of these is the great

McDougall [music] clan tartan?

Are you following me? Don't flatter

yourself.

>> [music]

>> Okay. Which one is the great McDougall

clan tartan?

Loud and proud. Huh.

would be so pleased.

Any little Scottish on your side of the

family?

Uh

well, I think my great-great-grandmother

on my uncle's side was half Welsh. Does

that count? No, only if you're Welsh.

Our kids seem to be getting on like a

house on fire.

Kids are very adaptable.

>> [music]

>> Yeah,

unlike adults.

Who are you talking about, you or me?

Oh, you. Most definitely.

You know, your Bailey is going to be a

real heartbreaker. Yeah.

Terrifies me, you know.

The idea of some hormonal teenager

lusting after my daughter. Some battles

you just can't win. [music]

>> you?

>> [laughter]

>> You know, if our kids can get along,

maybe we should just call a truce.

>> [music]

>> To this.

In case you haven't noticed, you sort of

rub me the wrong way.

Yeah, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong

foot.

I know I can be a bit of a

bonehead sometimes. Hm.

Well,

maybe Jared will get a real plumber and

all our problems will be solved. [music]

Until then?

All right, [music] but you got to

promise me that frog stays locked up

outside.

You two finally agree on something?

Yeah.

>> Yeah.

I I think that we should do something

together. Fond of it.

How about a game of horseshoes?

McDougals [music] versus McDougals.

Horseshoes?

>> [music]

[music]

>> Yes.

Hey Timbo, come on.

Make me proud.

Come on, Tim.

Hey, good try, Tim.

Yeah, trying is fine, [music] Sydney,

but it doesn't win the big trophies.

Ah, you know, it's just horseshoes,

[music] Connor, okay?

Just give me a little coaching, that's

all. It's okay, Connor. My mom doesn't

really get sports.

Come on, Bales.

Bring it home.

Dad, I told you, no sports.

Bailey, the only way one of these

horseshoes is going to break your tooth

is if [music] you try and eat it.

Don't you call me stubborn.

>> [music]

>> Yes! [laughter] No, I did it!

Ah, you see? Throwing like a girl does

work. What's wrong with throwing like a

girl?

Nothing else. Except if you're a boy.

>> [music]

>> Tim.

Did I say something wrong? Yes, but I

think someone else upset him first.

Are you going to go after him?

No, he's he's he's fine. Just needs a

little bit of space. He'll see, he'll be

back in a couple of minutes. He's

probably in his space ready for the

second round. I don't think so. You were

pretty harsh on him. Why don't you

[music] raise your kids, I'll raise

mine. How's that? You know how I shook

your hand before? Well, I take it back.

>> [music]

>> Come on, kids. Let's go to town and get

some lunch. Can't we stay and play

horseshoes? No, please. [music] Let's

just go. Bailey, you want to come with

us? We could discuss human shoes.

Dad?

>> [music]

>> Come on.

Sure as heck do I go. Call me Lily. Come

[music] on, you guys. Please, I'm

starving.

>> [music]

>> You okay, buddy?

>> [music]

>> Hey, Dad.

So, who's winning?

Does it matter? I'm playing myself. Yes,

it sure does. My grandpa Harry used to

say anything that's worth doing is worth

doing well. And he was way smarter than

I am.

You know, Tim,

>> [music]

>> being good at sports isn't something

that happens overnight. You need a lot

of practice and focus. [music] Yeah.

Bailey still ring with her eyes closed.

>> Yeah, well, just between you and me,

that was a lot of dumb luck. Dad, if I

clean the meeting of the Macs, we'll

lose for sure.

>> No, we won't. Like I said, we got plenty

of time to prepare and practice.

And never forget,

we are the fighting McDougals.

>> [laughter]

>> So, we okay?

Sure. Yeah.

All right.

>> [music]

>> Hey.

Saw your car outside. What happened to

lunch?

Oh, hi.

Huh.

Nice to see you, too.

We were driving by and the kids went all

Robin Hood on me. What could I say? I

was outnumbered.

Yes.

Hey, Tim, why don't you [music] go join

the rest? Sure.

Wow.

She's a bit of a natural.

I know. She loves sports and animals and

I love art and fashion.

What can I say? Apple fell far from the

tree, huh? Into a completely different

orchard.

So,

did you go to Tim or did he find [music]

you?

Like I said, he was fighting.

Yes, I went to him and yes, you were

right.

I see.

But seriously, thank you for the advice.

[music]

It was a big help. I'm glad.

So, Marion, going to show them how it's

done? Uh,

no. I haven't picked up a bow since Girl

Scout camp. No way.

You know, sometimes

I think the tree should go to the apple,

don't you?

Will you give me a lesson?

So,

stand up straight, bow on your left

hand,

feet planted,

head down,

elbows in,

as you

draw

the arrow back,

and

let her rip.

Look, Mom, you hit it. Way to go, Mom.

Yeah, way to go, Mom. Thank you. Mom,

can we go eat now? Oh, yes, honey, of

course.

>> [music]

>> don't we go in one car?

>> [music]

>> So,

what is all this stuff, exactly? Well,

then, for starters, we've cock-a-leekie.

[music]

That's a leek and chicken soup served

with prunes.

Next, we have a ham and haddie pie.

That's smoked haddock and bacon [music]

baked into a luscious casserole.

Pork belly patties. That's what you

Americans call sandwiches.

Cauliflower in a cheese and whiskey

sauce. And for dessert, rhubarb and

oatmeal crumble.

So, what's this stuff?

>> [music]

>> This? Oh, this, my love, this is haggis.

Scotland's most famous [music] dish. It

virtually defies description.

Would you care to have a wee taste? Come

on.

>> [music]

>> Are you sure you want to eat that?

It's a bit of a kilt lifter, eh, boy?

It's pretty good. You should try some.

Any other takers? Get it while it's good

>> If your eight-year-old can try some, so

can you. Come on.

Thank you.

>> [music]

>> All righty.

What exactly is in haggis? Well, it's a

hearty combination of sheep's [music]

liver, heart, and lung with a little bit

of beef fat, onion, and oatmeal all

simmered [music] up inside a sheep's

belly.

What are you lightweights all looking

at?

You knew what was in that haggis all

along, didn't you?

I was just having a little fun, trying

to [music] keep it lively for the kids,

you know.

Your idea of fun is an acquired taste,

little bit of a challenge every now and

again, don't you?

I don't know. I guess I just don't have

your competitive spirit.

So, how did you get the big-time job

then, [music] by not being competitive?

I started as an assistant's assistant,

and I worked my way up. That's how I got

that job. All right. So, why do you

dress like this, all made up and swanky

in the middle of the Scottish

My mother used to say, "Always look your

best. You never know who you're going to

meet."

Well, all due respect to your mother, I

think you just want to be the

best-looking woman in 50 miles.

>> [music]

>> How's it working?

>> [music]

>> Mr. and Mrs. McDougall.

>> [laughter]

>> No, we're not married. No. We We don't

even really know each other. We're just

kind of sharing [music] the same cabin.

Yeah.

We missed you at the jousting fair.

Oh, we were in town for the Scottish

food tasting. Hope to see you all at the

[music] Everyone gets to flaunt their

footwork, and maybe even have a go on

the old bagpipes. Well, I can't speak

for the New Yorkers, but the Bostonians

will definitely [music] be there.

Lovely.

Mom, can we go, too? You love to dance.

Is that so?

Yes, actually, I do.

Of course we can go.

Splendid.

I hope you'll save me a jig.

>> [music]

>> Tonight, then?

Dancing is so magical. Brings out the

best in everyone, don't you think?

You'll have to ask me again after

tonight. Can we go practice more archery

now? Can we ask? Of course.

Well, best get back to the plumbing.

Try and make that little cabin habitable

once and for all. Take your sweet time

in that, love. Excuse me?

I said you've been working so hard, you

ought to go and have a wee lie down. Uh

actually, I I'm a bit worn out. Go on,

then. I'll look after the stall. Ah,

you're an angel, you know that? Well, as

the good book says, do unto others as

you would have others do unto you. Aye,

nothing truer than the golden rule.

Especially as I need my 40 winks, eh?

Snaps.

Got you.

We got to get to the dance, you guys.

What are we all waiting for?

Maleficent's been in the bathroom for

hours. Probably making herself all

pretty for the [music] dance. I hope so.

Ew, are you in love with my sister?

Maybe.

>> [laughter]

>> Honey, what are you going to wear

tonight? What do you mean? I'm wearing

it.

Baby, I bought you that new dress. Why

>> [music]

What do you think? Did you borrow that

from that Donald Duck? Nope, this is my

[music] generations of Mcducks.

And you, my son, will be next.

a little too much?

I could say [music] the same for you.

I think she looks wonderful.

Me, too. Thanks.

Here.

This will go perfectly.

That looks nice. Thanks, Lilly.

>> [snorts]

>> All right, everybody ready to go? Yep.

>> [music]

>> Thank you for your help earlier, by the

way.

Nothing like a [music] good

old-fashioned compromise, don't you

think? Well, I am sharing a cabin with

you, aren't I? Mhm.

>> [music]

>> Come, dance with your favorite auntie.

Good night, darling.

Uh what what what's the kids for, Irene,

would you?

Sure.

Go dance your face off.

>> [music]

>> That's for that.

It certainly is.

All the pretty girls must dance. Um you

really I I can't.

All the pretty girls must dance.

Well, look at you.

>> [music]

>> Hi.

I'm Kevin.

You want [music] to dance?

I'm already dancing with someone.

>> [music]

>> Seriously?

Yeah.

Maybe some other time?

>> [music]

>> Come on.

Thank you.

>> [music]

>> Where did you learn how to dance like

that? I have a couple of tricks up my

sleeve that you don't know about.

Come on, Lilly. Show us your TRICKS ON

STAGE.

>> [music]

[music]

[cheering]

[music]

[cheering]

[applause]

>> I HAD NO IDEA it was a contest.

Mom, you were awesome out there. Thank

you. Feels good to win something,

doesn't it?

>> Never said it didn't. Imagine if [music]

we actually won the Meeting of the Max

games. Honey, don't you think we should

get through the eliminations before we

even think about winning? Nothing wrong

with a bit of positive thinking. Well,

I'm positive we won't win. [music] How's

that, Dad? That's not exactly what I

meant, sweetie.

Here, Lilly. It's beautiful. No, no, no,

no. You keep it. It looks better on you,

anyway. [music]

Really?

Dad, can I?

Hey. I want to go say goodnight to

Rocky.

Just make sure you keep the lid closed

on the jar.

Here, Lilly.

That's very nice of you, but I'm

going to have to pay back.

Oh, it's [music] really nothing. Just

pick up after yourself and keep tabs on

that frog and we'll just call it even,

okay?

And by the way, despite what you think,

I'm a very positive person.

Well, then what are you so afraid of

then?

Getting my kids' hopes up for something

that's probably not going to happen. But

wasn't it you [music] that said it was

just a game?

Yeah.

They lost so much with the divorce.

I don't want them to have any more

disappointment.

>> [music]

>> Well, what did I say, when?

By the way,

barefoot becomes you.

You look good in a skirt, [music] too.

Going to be okay down there?

No, but I should put in my floor time

like everyone else.

You know,

>> [clears throat]

>> you were beautiful tonight.

>> [music]

>> I was very proud of you.

Thanks.

You're a pretty good dancer, too.

Maybe you could teach me sometime.

[music]

Still the worst vacation ever.

Not ever.

Hm?

Hi.

I'm sorry. I didn't [music] mean to

dampen your enthusiasm about the games.

Winning isn't everything, but

we have as much [music] a chance as

anyone.

It's okay, Mom.

Tonight was [music] fun.

Welcome everyone to the meeting of the

Max Games trial eliminations.

>> [applause]

>> Each of our Mac families will compete in

a sampling of traditional Scottish

athletic events. Are we ready to begin?

Yes.

I said, are we ready TO BEGIN? YES.

>> [cheering]

>> I'M REALLY NERVOUS, DAD. OH, don't worry

about it, pal. Just copy everything I

do. I am so nervous. I have no idea what

to do.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> Okay, everyone now, gather your steam

because it's on to the strength and

agility events. We'll start with the

famous caber toss with different sizes

[music] and have some poor courage and

weight class. The same goes for the

hammer throw, just another of the native

contests you'll be playing on game day.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> Let me just say you all did a fantastic

job.

Especially for your first time.

This is tough stuff. Absolutely.

That said,

the four highest scoring families based

on our eagle eyed observations are

the McAllisters,

THE MCDOUGALS,

AND THE MCDOUGALS.

>> [applause]

>> CONGRATULATIONS,

FINALISTS. NOW, let's make it official.

One member [music] from each family,

please draw a straw. If your straws

match,

you're a team.

Team McDougal versus Team

McAllister-McNeal.

>> [applause]

>> You just can't seem to get away from

each other, huh?

Well, maybe we're not supposed to.

>> [applause]

>> So, Molly, you still have no [music]

idea when the plumbing's going to get

fixed?

>> I'm afraid not, dear. Poor Jared's

having a dreadful time with it.

He had to specially order new parts this

morning.

Isn't there a professional plumber

around?

>> But my Jared is a professional plumber.

Fully licensed and bonded.

It's just that the quarters are so

close.

>> But having a strapping fellow like

Connor so close can't be all that bad.

You haven't tasted his cooking.

>> [music]

>> Connor, I'm sorry, but I refuse to eat

anything I can't spell, [music]

identify, or pronounce.

>> Me, too. Me, three.

Ta-da!

Well, there's nothing Scottish about

that. Hamburgers, corn on the cob, fried

potatoes, as American as apple pie. Oh,

which reminds me, that's what we're

having for dessert.

>> [music]

>> On behalf of me and my family, we thank

you. On behalf of me and my brood, thank

you for having faith that we might win.

Yeah, thanks, Mom. Team McDougall! Team

McDougall!

>> [music]

>> Dad, why do we have to exercise? Why

can't we just practice the different

games? Why do we have to practice at

all? They picked [music] us, didn't

they?

Frankly, it still amazes me. They didn't

pick us because we were great. They

picked us because we weren't as bad as

the rest. And let's face it, they were

pretty bad. So, does that mean we're

like the best of the worst? Is that like

better [music] than being the worst of

the best? We're going to lose a fight,

No, we're not going to lose. That's the

point. The point is to be prepared. To

be prepared means to be in shape, and

that means exercise and endurance.

[music]

Now, does anybody have any more

questions? Yeah, who made you the team

leader?

You want to co-lead? Thought you'd never

ask.

All right, everybody. 1 2 3 Hit it!

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

>> All right, everybody, we're going to do

warrior two.

I'm

out.

palms forward.

See, I can be surprisingly

flexible, unlike some other people I

know.

Come on, Bailey.

Step it up. Pretend like you got to get

to the mall before it closes. I can't

go any faster, Dad. Mom, what's gotten

into you? I don't know. I just have so

much energy all of a sudden. She's

tasted [music] victory, right? Yeah,

well, if you were going any slower,

>> [music]

>> Anyone [music] mind if I shower first?

Sorry, kid. Age before beauty. You're

up, Lilly. Ah, it's okay. We have a full

afternoon of practice, right, kids?

You know, I thought I'd take Tim and

Bailey to the friendly castle.

Show them a bit of history.

A real castle? With knights and

drawbridges? Uh, well, maybe not the

knights, but when do you guys come? You

know how I feel about sightseeing, but

we have a lot of work to do.

>> Yeah, but I promised my son a castle, so

I thought I'd compromise.

You like compromises, don't you? Nothing

like them. All right, I'll tell you

what. Let's go to the castle, run laps

around it, and this time, I will let you

win. Good luck with that.

To what end is your marriage?

If you don't mind talking about it. Oh,

I don't know. I don't think he could

handle the pressure

being a grown-up, so he

he opted

for something and then someone a little

less complicated.

Yeah, well, my wife went off with the

pest control guy.

>> [music]

>> True story.

Now he owns the whole darn company,

rakes in tons of cash.

Rat.

>> [music]

>> You know you're right.

None of this is easy.

Children,

divorce,

trying to make every legally determined

second with your kids count. Oh, you

mean like making sure your big vacation

is better than the one with the other

parent?

You see, you are competitive. No, it's

just that I'm not the fun one.

they do from him. Yeah.

So you end up trying too hard.

We both do. Well, I pass mine off as

charm and enthusiasm. Mhm.

It's not quite [music] working.

>> [music]

>> Do you think your dad likes my mom?

Like your mom huh? You know,

liked her.

Do you think your mom likes my dad? All

I know is that she's been way happier in

the last [music] few days.

Your mom's nice and everything, but I

already have a mother, and I am not in

the market for another one. Relax. We're

not getting married or anything. I was

just saying.

You know, you were really good at the

trials yesterday by the way.

Really? Yeah, considering.

Considering what? You think [music]

you're all uncoordinated, but you're

not.

I'll never be as good as my dad.

Or you.

What's the point? There's no point. Just

do your best, enjoy it, and we'll all be

there for you.

Come on.

So, do you [music] have a girlfriend?

I'm only eight.

I had a boyfriend when I was eight.

Well,

more like an admirer. I admire you.

Thanks, Miles. I admire you. Really?

How?

Well, you're funny,

clever,

a great dancer.

You're a handsome little guy, too.

And you're the hottest girl I've ever

seen who wasn't famous.

Thanks, Miles. It's the sweetest thing

anyone's ever said to me.

Well, since we've been on this trip,

>> [music]

>> All right, team Maduna. It's time for a

friendly castle marathon.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> So, how do you win this game? Well, you

don't play against Tim, that's for sure.

He's an animal.

All right, so it's all about eliminating

your opponent's king.

Checkmate, Dad.

Nice move.

Well played, buddy.

Tim, could you teach me?

Sure.

Okay.

>> [clears throat]

>> Take your pieces.

>> [music]

>> Look at that moon.

It's awesome, isn't

>> [music]

>> Yeah,

I finally feel like I'm actually on

vacation. [music]

Except for these cramps in my legs from

all that running.

>> [music]

>> Legs look fine to me.

That's just the wine talking. [music]

Just telling you like it is.

Oops.

Sorry.

Stepped [music] on my lines, huh?

Okay, just

What?

>> [music]

>> I'm having too much fun with you.

Let's just

put the cork back in the bottle

and go to sleep.

>> [music]

>> Good night, Connor.

Night. [music]

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> Sweet 16, perfect 12.

>> [music]

>> Master of the cable, you have my two

votes. We're working on it, Macalister.

worry about your own skills, pal. We've

got ours covered. I don't you think

we're the ones that need to worry?

And I'm not your pal.

At least not till after next Saturday,

anyway.

All right.

>> [music]

Where are you guys going? Dansmore Park.

What for? Uh hiking and hopefully bird

watching. It's supposed to be one

[music] of the best in the UK. You can't

leave now. We've got to do an emergency

practice. The opposition are tossing

those cabers like they're chopsticks.

>> There's plenty of time to practice. Come

on, kids. Let's go before those trails

get too crowded. Come on. Mom, maybe we

should practice first, like yesterday.

Plus, I said I'd be there for [music]

Tim. And I should be there for Bailey.

We'll be back late, three or maybe even

four. Come on. Come on.

Warm up those cabers for us, okay?

This is going to be so much fun. [music]

Still no sign of those new plumbing

supplies? No, nothing at all. Ah, this

is a fine how-do-you-do. [music]

Without those special drains and pipe

fittings, there's nothing more I can do.

Oh, I'm sure they'll turn up eventually.

All I've seen is a couple of scruffy

squirrels and an old shoe. Sky books

says this place is swarming with rare

birds. Maybe they're all asleep or on

vacation.

Or off practicing for the meeting of the

Mac Games [music] like we should be.

incredible beauty, and all you can think

about are those silly games. I don't get

it. Yesterday it was like you [music]

really cared about winning, and today

all you seem to care about is

birds.

Of course I care about [music] us doing

well, honey. I just wanted some time

alone as a family away from the other

What about what Miles and I [music]

want?

All right, well, I suppose it is a bit

windy.

Let's go back. All right, so you balance

the thin end in both your hands like

this.

>> [music]

>> And then you walk forward

and you throw, and the fat end should

>> I can't believe we're stuck here playing

these stupid logs while the others are

in some beautiful park somewhere.

[music]

Yeah, that's the park with the bird

sanctuary I wanted to see.

Well, like I was saying,

the fat end should go first, followed by

the thin end to make 12:00. Now, watch

me.

Ah!

Well,

not perfect, but you get the idea. Now,

you guys have a go.

I failed. You're up.

Okay.

>> [music]

have gone to the park. Uh-oh. Is that

blood?

>> [music]

>> Blood?

Blood.

Oh, you know

It's okay. It's okay.

Oh.

You're lucky. It's [music] just a

scratch. Keep icing it and the swelling

should go down in no time.

Oh, Bails, honey, [music] don't cry.

You said you'd protect me. I did protect

you.

>> [snorts]

[music]

>> Timmy, could you pass me my makeup?

Sure.

Right.

Best get back to work.

But, if you need [music] anything else,

here's my private mobile number.

Don't hesitate to call

day or night.

I won't.

Billy, ice pack.

I don't know who you think you delivered

it to, but it wasn't anyone here.

Did you get a signature?

Molly Ferguson

>> [music]

>> at 12:20

yesterday?

I we

We do have someone here by that name,

Okay, I'll ask her.

Thank you.

>> [music]

>> It's all your fault, you know. Yeah, I

know.

I should have been paying attention to

how

badly she was tossing it.

Yeah, [music] that's bad, but

what I meant is it's all your fault that

my kids are mad at me.

Wait.

You think it's my fault cuz you took

your kids to the park instead of letting

them practice?

I needed to be away from you this

morning.

Why?

Oh, cuz we almost

Well, you think it's funny. [music]

I used my children to avoid you. I am a

terrible mother. No, you're not.

And why did you have to avoid me? It's

not as though anything actually happened

last night.

So, maybe I drank too much.

Wait, now you're saying you had to drink

an entire bottle of wine just to want to

>> It It was half a bottle of wine, and

don't you put words into my mouth.

>> don't need to because you already said

them. They came right out.

Do you want to kiss me or not?

>> [music]

>> You know, the worst thing about being an

adult is sometimes you can't do

exactly what you want to do when you

want to do it.

Is that a yes or no?

>> [music]

>> What's on your hand?

It's a cell phone number.

Oh.

Heather's.

>> [music]

>> Heather?

Guest relations Heather?

The one that's always panting all over

you?

>> She's not always panting over me. Yes,

she is.

>> Are you jealous? No. No, of course I'm

[music] not jealous.

>> [laughter]

>> Okay, so you won't mind if I ask her out

for a drink tonight.

No. What about Bailey? Oh, Bailey's

fine. She doesn't need me around [music]

at all this evening.

Fine. Do whatever you want.

I don't care.

Okay, Bailey can look after Tim and

Sydney and Miles, too, if you like. If

you need a little bit of me time. Yeah.

Yeah, I need some me time.

Hi, Donald. Just passing by.

Was wondering how young Bailey was doing

after her wee mishap. Oh, she's fine.

[music] She's got Thank you for asking.

Splendid.

So,

Team MacDougall is still intact?

Yeah, I think so.

>> [music]

>> Might I add, you're looking as lovely as

a sunrise.

Donald,

are you busy tonight?

Of course, the meeting of the Marks is

our biggest event, but I also get to

work on all [music] kinds of other

exciting activities. It's pretty much

go, go, go around here.

That is when I'm no skydiving chasing

deals.

>> [music]

>> I don't think you're listening, are you?

Oh, no. Sorry, I

I think I'm still rattled by the Caber

Toss incident.

>> [music]

>> I keep on thinking how much worse it

could have been.

Guilt is a wasted emotion, Connor.

Didn't anyone [music] ever teach you

that? Well, you've obviously got no

kids? Me? No.

I mean they're fine [music] for other

people and I enjoy being around them at

events and such, but being a parent just

isn't on my schedule.

>> [music]

>> Another round?

Mhm.

>> [music]

>> Not really.

Well, you know.

>> [music]

>> You were swimming in a kilt?

Yeah.

What helps you swim?

Really?

Well, whatever floats up.

Hello, Connor.

Hello, Donald.

So, was this a private party or can

anybody join in? Well, I should be

going.

Busy morning tomorrow.

Kilt wrestling and a good old-time

Scottish singalong. Kilt wrestling? That

sounds fascinating.

Thank you for stopping [music] by,

Donald.

Sleep tight.

What?

Just had a visitor.

Should the kids around?

We were just talking.

Which is a whole lot less than you did

with that little Scottish terrier, I

bet.

You're jealous.

>> [music]

>> And you're not?

Of course I'm jealous.

This isn't a good idea.

We shouldn't do this.

I know. It's not a good [music] idea.

>> [music]

[music]

>> Like I said, this is not a good idea.

>> [music]

>> Wait.

Don't tell me you didn't feel that, too.

>> [music]

[music]

>> All right. This one's called the

>> [music]

>> sheaf toss.

And then the idea is to throw it

over the top of the bar. It's wicked

fun, guys. Watch.

Cool.

Hey.

Well, it is not cool, captain. Nice of

you to show up. I'm sorry. I went back

to sleep. I don't know how. And I know

that we have a lot of work to do. Yeah.

[music] finish my coffee first? Besides,

it's windy as all get out. Well, what

are we supposed to do in the meantime?

Just stand around and watch? [music]

Can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah.

Hey.

How's it going?

Good. Just practicing for the Chief Toss

for the games. Connor, whatever did or

did not happen between us last night

does [music] not give you the right to

be rude to me. Hey, don't flatter

yourself. You're not the first woman to

okay, well you're not the first man I

ever walked away from. Good.

So, Raven, now what? Let me quote you.

You can either make this easy or you can

make [music] it hard.

>> [music]

>> See you later. See you.

Who's that? Nobody, Dad. Well, let's

keep it that way, okay?

Hey, if I may say so, you've done a good

job with that concealer. I can barely

see your scratch. Really? I still feel

gross. Yeah, well, it's not surprising

with all that makeup on your face.

Should be wearing a Halloween [music]

mask. I should be wearing a crash helmet

with you as a catcher.

>> Bailey, that is enough. Say it, Dad. You

just don't want me to grow up. Um look,

this might be none of my business,

[music] but as a woman and as a mother,

and that's all it is, just a little

makeup. You're absolutely right. It is

know best how to look after my children.

Oh, yeah? Like letting him play with a

pitchfork after what happened yesterday?

>> What are you talking about? This thing

is as blunt [music] as butter. Look.

Actually, Dad, does seem a little scary.

Yeah, count [music] me out.

Well, that's just swell.

What kind of a team captain are you

anyway? A responsible one, unlike some

people I know. Mom, stop it. You sound

just like when you and Dad were married.

Yeah, like you and Mom, too.

>> [music]

>> Okay.

I'm sorry, kids.

I'm sorry, too.

What?

Well, you were kissing each other last

night. Wait, what? Really? I saw them on

the front deck.

Are you guys moving to New York? Okay,

listen. There's going to be no kissing,

there's no getting married, and there's

absolutely no moving anywhere. Except

out of that cabin, we'll go. No, we'll

go. What? I like our cabin.

>> Me, too, Mom. Why should we move? We

were there first.

>> At least you have a mattress. You know,

the floor. Maybe it'll toughen you up a

bit.

>> Hey, don't talk to my brother that Wait.

Okay, okay, okay. I think we're done

here, okay?

Are you absolutely sure you want

separate cabins? We have been absolutely

sure since the day we arrived. I know,

but you seem to be all getting along so

warmly.

Molly, is the cabin ready or not? The

plumbing is tip-top, but the cabin is

not very comfortable.

Molly, for Pete's sake, please give

these nice, patient folks the key to

cabin 18. Hm? Which isn't fit fit for

purpose.

Nope.

I said we'd move.

>> No, no, no, we'll move. It's our No, no,

no, last in, first out.

>> What kind of stupid logic is that? Oh,

so now I'm stupid?

>> You're not stupid, you're just

bullheaded and stubborn.

>> Oh, and who have you been talking to? My

ex-wife? No. That's that. I I

That is it.

Don't blame.

>> [music]

>> I'll let him stay there.

Hey,

still don't think they're a love match?

You'll have to forgive my darling wife.

She's really had your best interests at

heart, but she may have gone a tad too

far.

Molly?

Were you trying to keep us together?

>> [music]

>> Well, not at first, but well Well, that

is the icing on a very badly baked cake.

And your cabins half price for your

trouble.

I still think they're crazy about each

other. Uh, you got the crazy part right.

Come on, Rex.

Come on, Rex.

Come in, May.

So, is the cabin nice there? Like the

Ritz Carlton compared to this place. Did

you feed Rocky?

>> Yep.

Lilly?

Does this mean you want your shawl back?

No, honey. You keep it. It looks

beautiful on you. You enjoy it. Thanks,

Mom.

Oh, good. We caught you.

We have a bit of official business to

discuss. What kind of official business?

We're here to reconfirm that, um, under

the circumstances,

you're still all planning to compete

[music] in the games together.

Cooperation being of number one

importance to the success and enjoyment

of the sporting [music] experience, you

know?

What exactly are you saying, Heather? We

want to make sure you two [music] won't

start fighting in the middle of it all

and cause a scene. Oh. It could be bad

PR for the games, this resort, [music]

and,

well, Scotland in general. Don't forget

the entire Western Hemisphere. So, do we

need to sign something in blood or is a

simple

"We'll behave" going [music] to suffice?

No blood.

Yes, that would be the point. Mom, I

really still want to play.

We'll behave. Excellent.

It would have been rather a mess if

you'd said no.

Come on, guys.

See you, Mom.

See you. Bye, Mom.

>> [music]

>> Well, this is nice and cozy, isn't

[music] it? It's half the size of the

other cabin. And there's only half as

many of us, so we're even, aren't we?

So, is this what the Ritz Carlton looks

like? Yes, Tim. [music]

Exactly.

Is there even a bathroom in here?

And it should be in perfect working

condition. [music]

>> [sighs]

>> Come on, Bails. It's only for a few

nights. I know.

It's just so

quiet.

Look,

I say

let's enjoy it.

We can all camp out in here.

Have some fun.

I'm sorry I've been [music] such a brat,

Dad.

I didn't really mean any of that stuff

about [music] you not protecting me or

wanting me to grow up.

No, this, sweetie.

No matter how big you get,

you're always going to be my little

girl.

It's a dad thing.

Did you really kiss [music] Lily?

Does it matter?

I don't know.

It should. [music] Isn't that what you

tell me?

But whatever happened,

it was a big mistake.

End of story.

What was that?

I think that must be the tip of the

iceberg.

Still think it's too quiet?

>> [music]

>> Next time,

ear plugs.

>> [laughter]

[music]

>> All right, guys.

>> [music]

>> This was our worst event in the trials.

Let's try and make it our best, okay? Is

everybody with me? Well, uh

I said, is everybody with me?

Connor, it's pouring rain. Do we have to

be out here?

>> Oh, come on. What is rain to the Mighty

McGoogles?

All right. When I say go, everybody,

eyes up, knees bent, sacks high. All

right? And

go!

What?

Connor, hurry up.

Sydney, higher, higher. Come on.

Okay.

All right, this is ridiculous. Come on.

Quick, quit this team.

Sydney,

Miles,

we're quitting these games. We're going

home.

Okay, go.

Go.

The Mighty McGoogles don't need you

anyway. We'll be fine without you.

Sorry, guys.

I just tripped.

It's okay. We're [music] going to be

fine. It's just a just a little setback.

Mom, are we going home now? No, honey.

We have 3 more days left in Scotland. To

do what? Watch them win the Meeting of

the Max Games without [music] us? No.

We're going to drive to Edinburgh and

Glasgow, and we're going to sightsee

along the way. And then, we're going to

check into a real hotel with duvets and

chocolates on the pillow.

Sound good?

>> [sighs]

>> So, what? One family can't [music] play?

What kind of stupid rule is that? The

only kind that makes any sense.

You can't compete with half a team.

So, what then?

We're out, right?

We traveled thousands of miles to come

here, and we're out over some stupid

petty rule?

Yes.

Unless you can get your teammates back.

The rules are the rules, Connor. I'm

sorry.

>> [music]

>> Looks like we got ourselves a vacancy.

>> When should he be back? Mark my words.

You never give up, do you? I've stayed

married to you for 41 years. You tell

me.

Where did they go?

She's on her way to Glasgow, I'm afraid.

[music] She's visiting St. Abernathy's

Church. If you go there now, you'll

catch her.

Isn't it gorgeous, Sid?

Looks like something out of one of your

old story books.

Come on.

Over here.

Now, it says here Bonnie Prince Charlie

sought refuge here [music]

after the Battle of Culloden. Isn't that

Why are we visiting a church here if we

never [music] go to church at home?

>> Well, you do a lot of things on vacation

that you don't do at home. Like what?

Playing the Meaning of the Max games?

Forget it, Miles. Connor doesn't want

us, and Mom isn't taking us back. It's a

done deal.

>> [music]

>> Honey, are you okay?

Oh, your hands are so cold.

So [music] beautiful.

Um,

but

I don't want nail polish or get

manicures like you do.

And

I don't like dresses or lacy shawls like

the one you gave Bailey.

Oh, honey.

Oh, you don't have to like any of those

things. I'm a chronic over-dresser. You

don't have to be like me or [music] like

Bailey.

You're perfect just the way you are.

Am I perfect [music] just the way I am?

Of course. So far, so good. [music]

Oh, you guys, we're standing in a

graveyard in the middle of nowhere.

This is officially the worst vacation

ever. Hey, look, it's Connor.

>> [music]

>> Okay,

here it is.

I am sorry for pushing you guys so hard,

especially with the weather being so

bad.

But I just wanted to win so much.

>> I understand. And I did not want to

quit. But Connor, really, it's supposed

to be fun. This is vacation. I know. I

know.

And I am sorry, but do you think we

could start to work together now?

Not for me, not for you, but for the

kids.

I think we all owe it to them, don't we?

Yeah.

We do.

Sydney, Miles, come here. Good news.

We're going to reunite team McDougall.

>> Team McDougall. Woohoo!

What? You've already rented out our

cabin? Oh, sorry, dear, but we had a

waiting list.

Molly, are you sure this isn't just

another one of your matchmaking schemes?

>> Between ourselves, I wish it were.

No, Jared didn't want to lose the

[music] rental fee.

It's a bit of a tight walk, you know.

Any suggestions?

So, welcome to our tiny but wonderful

cabin.

Be tight.

But it'll be cozy.

Don't even get me started on the

bathroom.

It's so small. It's barely the size of a

kidney bean. How are we all going to fit

in it?

>> It's only for one or two nights, Lily.

Come on, we can work it out.

And after all, we are the Fighting

McDougals.

The Fighting McDougals.

>> THE FIGHTING MCDOUGALS.

FIGHTING MCDOUGALS.

YEAH.

YOU TWO AREN'T GOING TO MESS THIS UP

AGAIN, are you?

>> [music]

>> Nope. This time we are definitely in it

to win.

Cross our hearts, hope to kick some

butt.

All right, last one in the practice

field is a big, fat, hairy ball of

>> [music]

>> Hey.

Mind if I join you?

As long as you got two glasses of wine.

>> [laughter]

>> To tomorrow's games.

To the games.

I [music] think we did pretty good

today.

Yeah, definitely improvement.

>> [music]

>> A keeper toss?

We're going to get it.

It's going to happen.

I meant the two of us.

>> [music]

>> Connor, you know that kiss?

You were right. I

I felt something.

>> [music]

>> It just scared me.

I'm a guy, Lily.

Not a bad liar.

You're not a vampire? No.

>> [laughter]

>> I'm so glad.

No, honestly. [music]

Even the thought of liking a man again

makes me think [music] about losing a

man again, and the whole thing is so

overwhelming I've completely avoided it.

It hasn't been that hard

>> [music]

>> between raising my kids and working so

hard.

Till now.

See, what overwhelms me

is the idea that I'll never meet another

woman that I like.

And if I do

I don't know that [music] she won't like

me.

But you know what?

It doesn't stop me from trying.

Heather likes you.

No, I only wanted Heather to get a rise

out of you.

Good.

Cuz that's why [music] I went out with

Donald.

>> [laughter]

>> So silly.

Yeah.

But tell the truth.

It would never work between us.

Yeah.

We'd probably just make each other

crazier than we already are.

Yeah.

And we live like 200 miles away.

Impossible.

Nice while it lasted though, huh?

All 10 seconds of it.

Yeah.

It was nice.

I know that there's a really great woman

out there for you.

There's a guy for you.

>> [music]

>> Welcome to the annual meeting of THE MAX

GAME.

>> [applause]

>> LET'S HEAR IT FOR OUR competing

families, team McNeal AND MCALISTER.

>> [cheering]

>> VERSUS TEAM MCDOUGAL AND

MCDOUGAL.

>> [cheering]

[applause]

[music]

>> UH,

TAKE IT FROM A FORMER [music] TEENAGER,

anger is the fastest way to drive her

towards him. Now, if each of our team

captains would step forward and shake

hands, we can let THE GAMES BEGIN.

>> [cheering]

[music]

>> CONNER?

CONNER.

>> [music]

>> IT'S FINE. Let's go.

You all ready?

>> [music]

>> I think I'm going to throw up.

Oh, you're just excited.

Come on, [music] pal.

Remember,

you got a secret weapon.

I do?

>> [music]

>> Yeah.

That super brain of yours.

You listening?

Yeah, Dad.

You [music] think I am?

All right.

McDougals, let's kill this hill. [music]

Big teams, on your marks. Get set.

>> [cheering]

[music]

[cheering]

[music]

>> Yes!

Winner!

Dean McAlistair vs. McNeal.

All right.

Good start, guys.

Look, just do our best

and try to have some fun, okay? Have

some fun.

I'm watching you guys.

Forget about the fun.

Let's beat those creeps.

Yeah, ready?

>> [music]

>> This sack race is abandoned due to foul

play by both [music] teams.

Minus one point each side.

up for it.

It's all your fault, McNeal.

>> [music]

[music]

>> Listen,

Connor,

now look, we both have a little problem

with competition, I know, and that guy

is a

twerp, but you're right.

We need to have fun, play [music] fair,

and set a good example for our children.

Okay?

Okay.

>> [music]

>> I'll tell the kids.

>> [music]

>> Are you ready?

Come back.

Watch the hammer.

>> [applause]

>> 55 POINTS.

>> [applause and music]

>> THAT WAS AMAZING.

COME ON, DOLLY. Come on.

ARE YOU READY?

WATCH THE HAMMER.

WATCH THE HAMMER.

43 points.

>> [music]

>> Come on, bells.

Watch the hammer.

Watch the hammer.

29

points.

>> [music]

>> Watch the hammer.

WATCH THE HAMMER.

>> [screaming]

[music]

>> 58 POINTS.

>> [applause]

>> THE SCORE

IS 50.

MACNEIL

ONE POINT.

>> [applause]

>> MACDOUGALL MACDOUGALL

minus [music] one.

>> [music]

>> And the winners are team McAlister

MacNeil. [music]

>> [music]

[applause]

[music]

[music]

>> Oh, good toss Mac at 11:00.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> Oh,

perfect throw,

12:00.

>> [cheering]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[cheering]

>> And the winner

Team MacDougall and MacDougall

with an amazing tied score of two to

two. We're ready for the final event.

May the best team win.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the tug of war.

>> [cheering]

>> Pick up the rope.

>> [music]

>> Take the strain.

All right, girls. Give up now,

MacDougall.

>> [music]

>> You and that bustly team of yours are

history. Not so fast, bone head. We

still got [music] a few tricks up our

sleeve.

>> [cheering]

>> Come on, MacDougall. [music]

>> [cheering]

[music]

>> MacDougall side

>> Oh, [screaming] McJuggernauts.

>> [music]

>> That's it.

>> [music]

[music]

[music]

>> Don't give up.

Don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give

up.

>> [cheering]

[music]

>> Miranda.

James McDougall.

>> [cheering]

[cheering]

>> So, who did Rocky throw up? Well, I

brought him along for good luck. And he

got him on the stage. He shot out of his

jar.

>> [laughter]

>> Listen, you guys better go find him

before he causes any more trouble. Hey,

Tim.

You were awesome out there.

You're my

Thanks, Dad. You, too.

What?

He seems really happy. Yeah, he is.

So am I.

You should be. You were amazing out

there. That hammer toss.

We made a pretty good team.

Yeah.

You know, about that.

I really don't want what we have

whatever it is

to end here.

Yeah.

It's a pretty good game. and the

camaraderie.

Besides, [music] what's a measly 200

miles between a couple of fighting

McDougals?

>> Yeah, right.

And the grand prize for the 2011

meeting of the McDougals games goes to

team McDougals. [music]

>> [cheering]

[cheering]

>> We coming again next year, Dad? Maybe,

Tim.

But I think we've got another vacation

to do before then. Really? Where to?

I don't know. Maybe

New York. Cool.

Nice work, Pop.

Congratulations.

If I told you once, I've told you a

thousand times, young lady.

You need to socialize more.

Go on.

Really?

>> [music]

>> Go on. No way.

Thanks, Dad. This is like the best

vacation ever.

I second that, Mom. Best vacation

[music] ever.

Come on, let's go say bye to Molly.

>> [music]

>> Best vacation ever.

Best vacation ever.

>> [music]