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"Will & Grace" is recorded
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00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:05,545
in front of a live studio audience.
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We feel asleep.
4
00:00:09,062 --> 00:00:11,029
Oh, my God, we fell asleep. Grace, Grace.
5
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,831
Ah!
6
00:00:12,855 --> 00:00:14,432
Hit off. Off.
7
00:00:14,456 --> 00:00:15,600
Hit the off button.
8
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,102
I don't know how to!
9
00:00:18,994 --> 00:00:21,862
There goes the
few chest hairs I had left.
10
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,736
Well, they were gray, so you're welcome.
11
00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:28,446
Comen, Jenny's gonna be here any second.
12
00:00:28,470 --> 00:00:30,181
I want the place to look nice for her.
13
00:00:30,205 --> 00:00:32,550
- Jenny?
- My surrogate.
14
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:33,585
Can you at least pretend
15
00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,553
that you've been listening
to me for the last year?
16
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,312
I was pretending!
17
00:00:39,181 --> 00:00:42,048
And besides, I'm tired.
18
00:00:42,072 --> 00:00:44,062
Grace, we're gonna be parents.
19
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,196
We got to learn how to...
20
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:48,740
how to have energy for longer
than four hours in a row.
21
00:00:49,558 --> 00:00:52,137
But... but...
22
00:00:52,161 --> 00:00:53,453
TV.
23
00:00:54,163 --> 00:00:55,673
No.
24
00:00:55,697 --> 00:00:58,243
Our kids are gonna be running
around, getting into things.
25
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:01,846
Their dopey, whiny friends will
be dropping by at all hours.
26
00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:03,922
I hate my life.
27
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,385
Once again, it's my mother's birthday,
28
00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:08,686
and I have no idea what to get her.
29
00:01:08,710 --> 00:01:10,255
Just don't try and be cute.
30
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,657
Once, I told my mom I was her gift.
31
00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,933
She asked if I came with a receipt.
32
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,186
You thought that was cute?
33
00:01:19,521 --> 00:01:22,066
I don't know...
maybe my mom will like this
34
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:25,503
overpriced coffee table
or this stupid bar cart
35
00:01:25,527 --> 00:01:27,581
or that Asian baby humping a fish.
36
00:01:28,764 --> 00:01:31,276
He is not humping a fish.
37
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,535
They are spooning. It's sweet.
38
00:01:35,037 --> 00:01:37,549
We don't have time for other
people's problems right now.
39
00:01:37,573 --> 00:01:39,917
Make time. I've got a problem.
40
00:01:40,442 --> 00:01:41,853
My jeweler...
41
00:01:41,877 --> 00:01:44,129
and I can say that because
"Jew" is in the name...
42
00:01:46,215 --> 00:01:49,227
has informed me that
a ring I was having reset
43
00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:51,729
has been delivered by mistake
to the manse.
44
00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:54,299
Now I got to go over there and get it.
45
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,700
Jackie, will you come with me?
46
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:58,602
I can't face Stan's neck rolls by myself.
47
00:01:59,394 --> 00:02:02,040
Kar, I wish I could.
48
00:02:02,064 --> 00:02:03,374
But I have to figure out
49
00:02:03,398 --> 00:02:04,712
what to get my mother for her birthday.
50
00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:07,579
I can't just go to your house
full of precious doodads
51
00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:10,697
and priceless old-lady whatnots
there for the taking.
52
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:21,748
Poodle, did you just get your
chocolate in my peanut butter?
53
00:02:26,455 --> 00:02:27,921
I think I did.
54
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,239
Okay, come on,
we got to finish cleaning up.
55
00:02:34,263 --> 00:02:35,740
Sounds good.
56
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,225
I'm gonna go clean my pillow
with my head.
57
00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:53,220
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:54,116 --> 00:02:56,461
Yeah, the pregnancy really
hasn't slowed me down at all.
59
00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:57,595
Really?
60
00:02:57,619 --> 00:02:58,796
You're not cranky and nauseous
61
00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:02,367
and one foot isn't swollen,
like, a lot more than the other
62
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:05,627
so you have to borrow a
bigger left shoe from a friend?
63
00:03:06,295 --> 00:03:08,171
No, never.
64
00:03:08,997 --> 00:03:10,257
Yeah, me neither.
65
00:03:10,979 --> 00:03:14,181
Okay, you guys ready to play some games?
66
00:03:14,206 --> 00:03:16,013
Why is my left shoe so loose?
67
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,618
Thank you guys for letting me stay here.
68
00:03:20,642 --> 00:03:21,819
I really didn't want to be
69
00:03:21,843 --> 00:03:23,221
at my apartment while they painted it.
70
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,156
You know, the fumes
could be bad for the baby.
71
00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:26,291
Of course, of course.
72
00:03:26,315 --> 00:03:27,558
Oh, you guys.
73
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,610
This is just like spending the
weekend with my grandparents.
74
00:03:33,362 --> 00:03:35,030
Now, that is sobering.
75
00:03:35,657 --> 00:03:37,468
You think of us like your grandparents?
76
00:03:37,492 --> 00:03:38,870
No, no, no, no.
77
00:03:38,894 --> 00:03:41,538
Obviously, you're much younger than...
78
00:03:43,411 --> 00:03:45,042
You're younger than them.
79
00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:46,711
You had to count?
80
00:03:46,735 --> 00:03:47,745
Okay, okay, look,
81
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:51,849
I know that we might be
a little on the old side,
82
00:03:51,873 --> 00:03:55,275
but we are still pretty cool.
83
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,489
We play games.
84
00:03:58,513 --> 00:04:00,525
Yahtzee, Heads Up!,
85
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:02,059
Perquackey.
86
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,519
It's about to get lit.
87
00:04:05,721 --> 00:04:07,065
Okay, look,
88
00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:08,666
this... this weekend
we're taking care of you,
89
00:04:08,690 --> 00:04:09,734
so what do you want to do tonight?
90
00:04:09,758 --> 00:04:12,537
Well, my friend texted me
about seeing a band.
91
00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:14,572
Oh, we love live music.
92
00:04:14,596 --> 00:04:17,074
We listen to it all the time on Google.
93
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,177
Let's... let's go.
94
00:04:19,201 --> 00:04:21,346
Now? It's... it's 8:30.
95
00:04:21,370 --> 00:04:22,747
- Grace?
- Oh, no, she's right.
96
00:04:22,771 --> 00:04:24,685
Doors won't open for a few more hours.
97
00:04:26,041 --> 00:04:27,385
But...
98
00:04:27,409 --> 00:04:28,794
TV.
99
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,405
You guys don't have to go.
100
00:04:31,429 --> 00:04:34,926
Of course we do.
You want to go, we want to go.
101
00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:36,094
Cool.
102
00:04:36,118 --> 00:04:38,229
- So who are we seeing?
- An experimental noise band.
103
00:04:38,253 --> 00:04:39,638
Oi, gevalt.
104
00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:42,182
Noise?
105
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,035
My favorite.
106
00:04:44,059 --> 00:04:46,137
We should go... we should go
early to get good seats.
107
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,980
There's no seats,
but there is a mosh pit.
108
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:53,819
So we'll be standing...
109
00:04:54,983 --> 00:04:56,488
after 8:30?
110
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,953
I'm gonna need your shoe.
111
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,655
My old key still works.
112
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,523
Guess nothing's changed.
113
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,191
Wow.
114
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,861
I forgot how fancy this place is, Kar.
115
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,697
Well, you know what
I always said about the manse...
116
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,499
it's not home,
117
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:23,974
but it's much.
118
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,272
Four milkshakes?
119
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:32,375
Stan usually only has three.
120
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:35,402
And this one doesn't have chicken in it.
121
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,882
I someone else here?
122
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,244
It's my mom.
123
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,460
What is it, Mother?
124
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,363
No, I'm not getting you
125
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,589
leather pants for your birthday.
126
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,633
Because you can't pull them off.
127
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,721
No, I mean you literally
can't pull them off.
128
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,041
And don't ask me again to help you.
129
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,892
Fool me once.
130
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,879
All right, stop talking. I have to go.
131
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:10,814
I have to go!
132
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:14,024
I'm... I'm at a fancy store
shopping for you.
133
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:17,153
Jackie, this glass has lipstick on it.
134
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:19,756
Do you think Stan's seeing someone?
135
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,393
I'm sending her to voice mail.
136
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,995
That's impossible, Karen.
Who could ever take your place?
137
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,519
Hey, guys.
138
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,808
Huh... what... Val?
139
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,411
What the hell are you doing in my house?
140
00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,720
And why are you wearing
my shower curtain?
141
00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:45,982
I live here now.
142
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,558
Stan and I are lovers.
143
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,479
Have you even been reinforced?
144
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,359
It's a sweet, sweet story, really.
145
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:59,653
I was in the park trying
to coax a rabbit into my purse.
146
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:03,500
I saw Stan buying a hot dog...
147
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,656
cart.
148
00:07:05,243 --> 00:07:08,271
And you know how he always
makes that wheezing sound?
149
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,606
Well, I told him I could help him.
150
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,775
I'm a licensed breath-ologist now.
151
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,277
- That makes sense, yeah.
- Of course you are.
152
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,112
Anyhow, I gave him my card.
153
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:19,349
One thing led to another and
now we're boyfriend-girlfriend.
154
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,883
I do love a meat-cart-cute.
155
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,220
Look, Val,
156
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,789
if you want to play house
157
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,725
with my house of an ex-husband,
have at it.
158
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,293
I just want my ring back.
159
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:34,197
Ooh, yeah. Sorry, I can't.
160
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,800
See, it got delivered here,
and Stan said,
161
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,835
"You're my girlfriend now,
so you should have it."
162
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:42,153
And he did it all in one breath
just like I taught him.
163
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:46,309
But, guys, it was so fun to see you.
164
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,645
I miss you two fruity-doos.
165
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:53,438
But could you please leave now
before I have to call security?
166
00:07:57,377 --> 00:07:59,422
Are you okay, Kar?
167
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,492
I mean, Stan and Val?
168
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,551
Val?
169
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,529
Crazy Val?
170
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,831
Stalker Val?
171
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,332
Insurance Fraud Val?
172
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,790
Oh, stop making her sound fun.
173
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,072
I got to get my ring back.
174
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:19,649
Stan gave it to my the night
we bought our first election.
175
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,780
I didn't realize it had
so much sentimental value.
176
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,415
Honey, you got to help me get it back.
177
00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:27,116
But Val's no dummy.
178
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:28,785
Whatever plan we come up with
179
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:32,162
is gonna require subtlety and nuance.
180
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,260
How do we look?
181
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:41,546
Like both community college
and porn were too hard for you.
182
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:45,223
You're not just saying that?
183
00:08:45,717 --> 00:08:48,204
And now for the final touch...
184
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,221
eau de minimum wage.
185
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,379
Hey, sorry I had to bail early.
186
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,772
It was just getting
to be past their bedtime.
187
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,785
Yeah, no. I know it's only 11:30.
188
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,420
What a fun night.
189
00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:08,156
The experimental noise
was very loud, though.
190
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:09,926
Yes, I know.
191
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:13,203
And the band really appreciated
it when you told them that.
192
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,665
Thanks. They're not real diamonds.
193
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,938
Will, are you okay?
194
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,798
I think it was a mistake to twerk.
195
00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,550
Yeah, for a lot of reasons.
196
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:32,180
I don't think you should have
twerked... for a lot of reasons.
197
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,486
Look, why don't you two go lie down?
198
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,121
I'm gonna get my stuff out of your room.
199
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,823
Oh, no, no, Grace and I can
sleep in her bed.
200
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:42,358
It'll be just like when we dated,
201
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,517
except this time
I won't be faking an injury.
202
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,264
That was fun.
203
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,766
Yeah, it really keeps you young.
204
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,168
- What?
- I said, "Keeps you young."
205
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,959
They're not real diamonds.
206
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,794
You have until the count of three...
207
00:10:12,922 --> 00:10:14,613
thousand to cut that out.
208
00:10:15,885 --> 00:10:18,364
One, one and a half...
209
00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,474
Fix your ties, swallow your pride.
210
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,960
She's coming.
211
00:10:26,531 --> 00:10:28,242
Hey, you guys.
212
00:10:28,266 --> 00:10:31,712
Oh, look at you all so serious.
213
00:10:31,736 --> 00:10:35,649
I need somebody to volunteer
to come to my boudoir,
214
00:10:35,673 --> 00:10:37,751
check all the closets for monsters,
215
00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:38,953
and tuck me in.
216
00:10:38,977 --> 00:10:42,356
There's an extra caramel in it
for anyone who has teeth.
217
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,419
Sorry, Margot.
218
00:10:45,016 --> 00:10:46,193
I'll do it.
219
00:10:46,217 --> 00:10:48,062
I'm sorry. I don't remember you.
220
00:10:48,086 --> 00:10:49,797
I'm Eliza.
221
00:10:49,821 --> 00:10:51,298
And what do you do, Eliza?
222
00:10:51,322 --> 00:10:55,013
Mm, this and that. Buns and nickels.
223
00:10:55,994 --> 00:10:57,932
This is my friend...
224
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,643
Oliver.
225
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,414
Ow.
226
00:11:09,874 --> 00:11:11,952
Ugh.
227
00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:13,554
Why are you moaning, too?
228
00:11:13,578 --> 00:11:16,800
I had two non-alcoholic beers
at that club.
229
00:11:16,824 --> 00:11:20,580
I got none of the buzz
and all of the gas.
230
00:11:21,252 --> 00:11:23,937
- Plus, I am freezing.
- What?
231
00:11:23,961 --> 00:11:25,263
It's a thousand degrees in here.
232
00:11:25,287 --> 00:11:26,743
I'm taking this cover off.
233
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,380
I would not lift that up if I were you.
234
00:11:30,595 --> 00:11:31,972
This should knock her out.
235
00:11:31,996 --> 00:11:32,940
Then we can grab the ring.
236
00:11:32,964 --> 00:11:33,874
Okay.
237
00:11:33,898 --> 00:11:36,343
Ooh, what'd you use?
Deep Sleeps, Orange Fog?
238
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:39,313
Who knows? I just shook out my purse.
239
00:11:39,337 --> 00:11:41,082
Now, to cover our tracks,
240
00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,117
we may have to change our identities,
241
00:11:43,141 --> 00:11:45,352
burn off our fingerprints,
and go underground.
242
00:11:45,376 --> 00:11:46,754
Or...
243
00:11:46,778 --> 00:11:49,317
we can just not make
that big of a deal out of it.
244
00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:51,340
Darn, in my head,
245
00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:54,030
I already changed my identity
to Johnny Cox.
246
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:55,811
He's a retired porn star
247
00:11:55,835 --> 00:11:58,201
who found the Lord
but kept his stage name.
248
00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:00,203
Come in.
249
00:12:01,107 --> 00:12:02,551
Hey. Can I get you guys anything?
250
00:12:02,575 --> 00:12:04,753
Yeah, can you get another
blanket from the closet?
251
00:12:04,777 --> 00:12:06,455
But not the gray one... it makes me itch.
252
00:12:06,479 --> 00:12:08,223
And not the red one
'cause it makes me sneeze.
253
00:12:08,247 --> 00:12:09,479
And can you take the tray?
254
00:12:09,514 --> 00:12:12,460
Grace... she's our guest, not our nurse.
255
00:12:12,485 --> 00:12:13,495
It's fine.
256
00:12:13,519 --> 00:12:15,964
I'll get another blanket,
I'll take the tray,
257
00:12:15,988 --> 00:12:17,385
and if you need to go to the restroom
258
00:12:17,409 --> 00:12:19,134
before you go to sleep,
I will take you there.
259
00:12:19,158 --> 00:12:22,366
I don't need anybody's help
to go the bathroom.
260
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,894
I can do that myself.
261
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,137
Begging your pardon, ma'am,
262
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:37,241
but wouldn't you have a glass
of warm strawberry milk?
263
00:12:37,265 --> 00:12:39,909
Straight from the strawberry cow's teat.
264
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:41,812
You guys are so good for me.
265
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:45,104
And thank you for remember
that I'm on an all-dairy diet.
266
00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:50,643
Oop, every last drop.
267
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,593
You know, I've always
had problems sleeping,
268
00:12:56,617 --> 00:12:58,395
and I've tried everything.
269
00:12:58,419 --> 00:12:59,863
I've tried meditating,
270
00:12:59,887 --> 00:13:02,633
shoplifting,
cutting other people's nails,
271
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:05,202
and, finally, finally,
I stumbled on the one thing
272
00:13:05,226 --> 00:13:07,004
that really helps.
273
00:13:07,028 --> 00:13:08,806
Oh!
274
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,845
- She's out.
- Well, wake her up.
275
00:13:10,869 --> 00:13:12,142
I want to know what helped her sleep.
276
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,411
What? Get her on the bed.
277
00:13:14,435 --> 00:13:18,549
I can't lift her by myself.
She's full of dairy.
278
00:13:18,573 --> 00:13:19,709
I'll get her legs.
279
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,234
- Yeah, okay.
- Okay, okay, okay.
280
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,385
Okay, get her to the bed.
281
00:13:22,409 --> 00:13:23,513
To the bed, to the bed, to the bed.
282
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,015
Wait. What?
283
00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:29,553
It's like being back at Sarah Lawrence.
284
00:13:29,577 --> 00:13:32,689
Okay.
285
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,028
Can you go a little faster?
286
00:13:38,052 --> 00:13:40,252
It's like watching a tree die.
287
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:47,537
This soup smells really terrible.
288
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:49,461
I know, right?
289
00:13:55,369 --> 00:13:57,714
- Wait, wait, wait. Ow!
- Let's just... Whoa!
290
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,784
Ma'am, are you all right? I heard a thud.
291
00:14:00,808 --> 00:14:02,789
Must be in your head.
292
00:14:02,813 --> 00:14:05,188
It could be a tumor.
293
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,526
You should see a doctor.
294
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:10,182
But stay in network.
295
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,744
Oh, okay.
296
00:14:18,104 --> 00:14:19,749
It's stuck. I'll get some soap.
297
00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,553
What if there's no liquid soap?
298
00:14:24,644 --> 00:14:26,455
We'll just cut her finger off.
299
00:14:26,479 --> 00:14:27,423
Okay.
300
00:14:27,447 --> 00:14:30,148
Mother, I can't talk now.
I'm under a woman.
301
00:14:32,152 --> 00:14:35,064
Why does that make you happy?
302
00:14:35,088 --> 00:14:37,333
What? Are you...
303
00:14:37,357 --> 00:14:40,547
No, I'm not taking you
on a cruise for your birthday.
304
00:14:40,571 --> 00:14:42,679
What, and spend ten days
rubbing your belly
305
00:14:42,703 --> 00:14:44,896
'cause you ate too much pineapple?
306
00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:46,931
No. That's a hard pass.
307
00:14:52,572 --> 00:14:55,056
So strange being back here.
308
00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:56,852
Different but the same.
309
00:14:56,876 --> 00:14:59,290
They changed my medicine cabinet
310
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,582
into a Pilates studio.
311
00:15:02,952 --> 00:15:04,896
Know what, Kar?
312
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,015
This feels kind of nice.
313
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:11,858
If women kept their clothes on,
I could be straight.
314
00:15:13,729 --> 00:15:16,985
I got it. I got it.
315
00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:19,244
What's going on?
316
00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:22,238
Did I take a milk nap?
317
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,021
Go back to sleep. Okay.
318
00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:27,151
What happened to your accent?
319
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,620
Oh, I assimilated.
320
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:31,039
Got my GED and said good-bye
to my health care.
321
00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:34,126
And I was never British.
322
00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,877
You did it, Kar.
You got what you came for.
323
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,745
Yeah.
324
00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:46,080
What's the matter?
325
00:15:46,104 --> 00:15:48,015
You got that happy-sad look,
326
00:15:48,039 --> 00:15:49,684
like when you see a waiter fall
327
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:52,351
but then realize
they were carrying your drink.
328
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:58,326
It's this inscription... "Forever yours."
329
00:15:58,350 --> 00:16:00,828
Stan had that inscribed for you, huh?
330
00:16:00,852 --> 00:16:03,321
But we didn't last forever, did we?
331
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:06,400
Stan's not mine anymore
332
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,936
and this isn't mine anymore either.
333
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,038
None of this is.
334
00:16:11,062 --> 00:16:12,607
But you had a whole life here.
335
00:16:12,631 --> 00:16:15,083
My life is somewhere else now.
336
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,412
I'm not even sure this place
brings me joy anymore.
337
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:19,536
Boo!
338
00:16:27,078 --> 00:16:29,972
Funny is funny, right?
339
00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:34,896
Not another step, you two.
340
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,697
It was her idea.
341
00:16:36,721 --> 00:16:38,766
Karen, Jack,
342
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,269
were you gonna leave
without saying good-bye?
343
00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,937
How'd you know it was us?
344
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,363
Your faces.
345
00:16:46,398 --> 00:16:47,875
Gosh, I had so much fun
346
00:16:47,899 --> 00:16:50,910
playing make-'em-ups
and getting drugged by you.
347
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:52,947
I'm glad you got your ring back.
348
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:55,706
It's obviously super important to you.
349
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:58,286
Thanks Val, but...
350
00:16:58,310 --> 00:16:59,720
I don't want it.
351
00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:00,922
It belongs to you.
352
00:17:00,946 --> 00:17:01,989
Oh, no. I can't take it.
353
00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,090
Stan got it for you.
354
00:17:04,202 --> 00:17:05,902
And if I want something
really nice on my hands,
355
00:17:05,927 --> 00:17:08,970
I can just ask him
to buy me fancy ring pops.
356
00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:13,990
Besides, I wouldn't want
to ruin our friendship.
357
00:17:14,392 --> 00:17:16,304
You think of me as a friend?
358
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,839
You're, like, my best friend.
359
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,141
Best human friend.
360
00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,233
You think of me as human?
361
00:17:23,101 --> 00:17:25,001
Kind of.
362
00:17:26,771 --> 00:17:29,951
Well, if neither of us wants the ring
363
00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:31,252
what should we do with it?
364
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:39,160
Yeah. No, Mother, that's right.
365
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:41,627
I had it inscribed just for you.
366
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,632
Well, I meant it.
367
00:17:44,656 --> 00:17:46,000
I am...
368
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,884
forever yours.
369
00:17:51,329 --> 00:17:52,840
No, Mother, I'm married now.
370
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,309
I'm never moving home.
My only plan B is death.
371
00:17:57,736 --> 00:17:59,213
What do you mean
where are you gonna wear it?
372
00:17:59,237 --> 00:18:00,514
How about anywhere?
373
00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:02,183
You're a 77-year-old knockout
374
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,985
with a high arch and your own hair!
375
00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:05,151
Live it!
376
00:18:06,077 --> 00:18:07,820
And, Mom...
377
00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:10,489
happy birthday.
378
00:18:11,850 --> 00:18:13,828
Okay, I'm back.
379
00:18:13,852 --> 00:18:16,631
Everything go okay in there?
You were gone for a half hour.
380
00:18:16,655 --> 00:18:18,733
I had to lean up against
the tile for a while till the...
381
00:18:18,757 --> 00:18:20,568
till the spasms went away, but...
382
00:18:20,592 --> 00:18:23,037
but I'm good as...
383
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,694
Will you go lie down, please?
384
00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:27,174
This is crazy. You're having my baby.
385
00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:29,210
I'm supposed to be taking care of you.
386
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:30,597
Are you... are you hungry?
387
00:18:30,621 --> 00:18:33,429
If you give me six hours,
I can get to the kitchen.
388
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,650
No, just get in bed.
389
00:18:35,674 --> 00:18:38,052
You're as stubborn as my grandpa.
390
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:39,420
This side.
391
00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:43,057
Move over.
392
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,059
Oh, and it was perfect.
393
00:18:47,452 --> 00:18:49,697
No wonder we remind you
of your grandparents.
394
00:18:49,721 --> 00:18:52,700
We're basically skeletons having babies.
395
00:18:52,724 --> 00:18:55,403
But isn't having kids
gonna keep us young?
396
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,605
Isn't that something people say?
397
00:18:57,629 --> 00:18:59,762
It's something liars say.
398
00:19:02,734 --> 00:19:04,912
We're gonna be exhausted and frail,
399
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:08,082
and we won't understand any
of their weird music
400
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:09,717
or technology.
401
00:19:09,741 --> 00:19:12,718
I don't understand any of our technology.
402
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,691
How are we grandparents
before we're even parents?
403
00:19:16,715 --> 00:19:19,226
No, when I said you guys
reminded me of my grandparents,
404
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,262
I meant that as a compliment.
405
00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,964
My mom worked three jobs.
My dad left when I was little.
406
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:26,600
My grandparents pretty much raised me.
407
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,592
But they were active grandparents, right?
408
00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:32,673
Like, the ones
409
00:19:32,697 --> 00:19:35,326
who have snowball fights
in the Celebrex ads?
410
00:19:35,350 --> 00:19:36,410
Mm-mm.
411
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,112
No, they hardly left the couch,
412
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:41,449
but they were kind, and they
knew how the world worked.
413
00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:42,650
And when I had hard days...
414
00:19:42,674 --> 00:19:44,719
and I had a lot of really hard days...
415
00:19:44,743 --> 00:19:46,887
they would let me sleep
right in between them
416
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:48,723
where I knew I was safe.
417
00:19:48,747 --> 00:19:52,466
That's what a kid needs,
not someone to twerk with.
418
00:19:53,314 --> 00:19:55,262
You're not gonna
let me forget that, are you?
419
00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:56,630
Never.
420
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,999
And if you do, I have a video.
421
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,801
Oh, good.
422
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,603
You guys are gonna be great parents.
423
00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,105
- Thanks.
- That means a lot.
424
00:20:04,129 --> 00:20:06,507
All right, good night, guys.
Get some rest.
425
00:20:06,531 --> 00:20:08,576
Um, you know, there's room
for one more in here.
426
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,089
- Really?
- Yeah.
427
00:20:10,113 --> 00:20:13,447
You'll be sleeping in a sea of
crumbs and used dental floss,
428
00:20:13,471 --> 00:20:15,004
but you'll get used to it.
429
00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:17,451
He's joking.
430
00:20:17,475 --> 00:20:19,160
I don't floss.
431
00:20:23,148 --> 00:20:25,326
Ahh...
432
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:29,045
Aw. This is so nice.
433
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,166
And this duvet is so comfortable.
434
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,091
I got a good deal.
435
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,538
Of course, this was in the '90s,
436
00:20:37,562 --> 00:20:40,306
so things were much cheaper then.
437
00:20:41,499 --> 00:20:44,512
You could get a cup of coffee
for a dollar.
438
00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,679
Shut up.
439
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,237
You could see a movie for five.
440
00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:50,351
That's crazy.
441
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:54,388
This reminds me of this one
time I was at my grandparent's.
442
00:20:54,412 --> 00:20:56,390
It was the middle of winter.
443
00:20:56,414 --> 00:20:59,059
I'd been playing in the snow all day.
444
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:02,897
My grandma made me a cup of hot cocoa.
445
00:21:08,108 --> 00:21:10,519
Damn! The lights.
446
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:18,434
Oh they are old.
31263
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