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(Thunder rumbling)
2
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(Wind howling)
3
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:40,958
(Man narrating) 'Once upon a time,
in a town not far from yours,
4
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:44,003
'there lived a real fast guy.
5
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:48,007
'His life was fast.
His friends were fast.
6
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:51,302
'(Chuckles)
Even his food was fast.
7
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,555
'But he was still
not satisfied.
8
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,224
'He wanted to share
his fast philosophy
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'with someone else:
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'a beautiful girl.
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00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,484
'The trouble was
she was in the arms of
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00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,861
'another man.'
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00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:13,157
♪ (Dance rock)
14
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♪ (Continues)
15
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,781
Whoops!
16
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,134
♪ (Continues)
17
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,892
(Man)
Good luck, honey.
18
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,329
(Excited chattering)
19
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,256
- What are we gonna do, Janet?
- It's all right, Brad.
20
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,717
Everything's gonna be
all right.
21
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,414
♪ (Ends)
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00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,416
♪ (Organ)
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00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,718
♪ You'll find happy hearts
24
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,387
♪ And smiling faces
25
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:43,140
♪ And tolerance for
26
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,976
♪ The ethnic races
27
00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,520
♪ In Denton
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00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:54,151
♪ You'll find
a ramblin' rose
29
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,904
♪ And a picket fence
30
00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,906
♪ Tenderness
31
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,243
♪ And innocence
32
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:04,536
♪ In Denton
33
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,208
♪ You'll find
conference rooms
34
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,169
♪ And a children's playground
35
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:16,257
♪ Denton is a real
okay town
36
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:20,094
♪ Civic pride
and civic duty
37
00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:22,805
♪ And Denton girls are
38
00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,807
(Wolf whistle)
39
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,727
♪ Full of beauty
40
00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:32,064
♪ You may call us
the goody-goody two shoes
41
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,776
♪ We're here to cheer you
with the good news
42
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,654
♪ That D-E-N-T-O-N
43
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,448
♪ Gets T-E-N
That's ten out of ten
44
00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:44,493
♪ If you're looking
for a life of leisure
45
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,246
♪ You're gonna get
a whole lot to please ya
46
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,790
- ♪ Again and again
- ♪ And again and again
47
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,084
(Both)
♪ And again
48
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,337
(All)
♪ Denton, Denton
49
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:58,382
♪ You've got no pretension
50
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:04,054
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
51
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,473
♪ Denton, Denton
52
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,643
♪ I'd just like to mention
53
00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:12,521
♪ You're the home of youth
54
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,232
♪ You're America's truth
55
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:20,446
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
56
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,906
♪ This is the mecca
of America
57
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:25,659
♪ The Bethlehem
of the West
58
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,704
♪ This is the birthplace
of the virtuous
59
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,206
♪ The home of happiness
60
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:35,669
♪ Leisure-wise
we're sure you will adapt
61
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,255
♪ Enjoy your stay
Have a happy holiday
62
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:44,303
♪ And we'll all put Denton
Denton on the map
63
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,305
(All)
♪ Denton, Denton
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00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,391
♪ You've got no pretension
65
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:54,480
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
66
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,608
♪ Denton, Denton
67
00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:00,736
♪ I'd just like to mention
68
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,781
♪ You're the home of youth
69
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:06,700
♪ You're America's truth
70
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:11,330
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
71
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,708
♪ Denton, Denton
72
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:17,795
♪ You've got no pretension
73
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:23,634
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
74
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:26,095
♪ Denton, Denton
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00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:29,306
♪ I'd just like to mention
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00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:33,060
♪ You're the acceptable face
77
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,270
♪ Of the human race
78
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:41,652
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A. ♪
79
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:44,530
Well, how about that?
80
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,907
Wasn't that terrific?
81
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,076
And now for,
well, certainly...
82
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,829
my favourite part of the show...
83
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:55,332
- and I sincerely hope yours at home.
- Get the whole crowd.
84
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,709
- Our regular in-depth discussion...
- Dressing room. Right here.
85
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,212
...with Judge Oliver Wright,
86
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:05,175
Denton's leading
social scientist.
87
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,136
- Judge Wright?
- Mm-hmm.
88
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:10,931
Did you enjoy
our anthem?
89
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,183
In a way.
90
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,936
I detect a note
of reticence.
91
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,313
Are you perhaps
one of those amongst us...
92
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:23,777
who feel this emotive form of presentation
is overly manipulative?
93
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,488
Well, Betty,
there are many ways
94
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:29,616
that the spider
may catch the fly.
95
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,952
There are
monetary inducements.
96
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:35,581
- Hi, Brad. Hi, Janet. Come for Marriage Maze?
- 'Extortion.'
97
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,124
Seduction.
98
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:40,878
I'm exhausted working on this documentary
for Farley's new show.
99
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,254
- Hmm?
- 'Blackmail.'
100
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,631
- Farley Flavours, our new sponsor.
- Oh.
101
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,717
- Whoo.
- 'Prejudice.'
102
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,095
I tell you, Janet,
that guy's as close as we'll come
103
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:52,473
to a successful man
in this town.
104
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:56,435
- 'And lies.'
- 'Thank you, Judge Oliver Wright.'
105
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,439
And now for
a commercial break.
106
00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,941
(Children chattering)
107
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:07,488
Okay, kids, let's hear
the five F's for today.
108
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,573
- "F" for...
- Farley!
109
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,742
- "F" for...
- Flavours!
110
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,660
- "F" for...
- Fabulous!
111
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,412
- "F" for...
- Fast!
112
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,247
- And "F" for...
- Five!
113
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:20,375
(All cheering)
114
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,755
(Woman announcer)
'First and foremost,
115
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,840
'Farley Flavours'
fabulous fast foods
116
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:31,136
'feed and fortify families
for a fabulous future.'
117
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,097
(Man on P.A.) 'Stand by for Marriage Maze.
Strike Denton Dossier.'
118
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,726
Thank you so much, Judge Wright,
for another wonderful interview.
119
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,813
Judge Wright? Oh, come on, Betty.
First names surely.
120
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:45,484
- (Chuckles)
- Oh. Oliver. You're so tolerant.
121
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,986
Time for a coffee break
before you rush off?
122
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:52,574
I'd love to, that is if you don't mind
being seen with an older man.
123
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,701
Why, Oliver.
124
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:59,373
Since Ralph and I separated,
maturity is something I look for in a man.
125
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,917
(Both chuckle)
126
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,919
- Hi, Ollie.
- Hi, Betty.
127
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,171
- Hi, Betty.
- Hello, Neely.
128
00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,298
You keep up that
high standard of interview
129
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:11,426
and I'm gonna have to include you
in Farley's documentary.
130
00:09:11,510 --> 00:09:14,721
You're so probing.
131
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,723
A free thinker.
132
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:19,017
Everything's free there.
133
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,439
- Hi, Betty. The usual?
- Plus one.
134
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:27,901
There you go. Hi, Max. Hey, you gonna
be watching Marriage Maze?
135
00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:31,697
- Sure am. This could be Bert Schnick's finest hour.
- Yeah.
136
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,740
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
137
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:38,579
- This could be a major step forward for him.
- Yeah, a leap in the dark.
138
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:41,164
I better go check on the Bert.
Otherwise...
139
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,417
- Right.
- Good luck.
140
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,586
- Okay.
- ♪ (Drumroll)
141
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:48,005
(Male announcer)
'And here to bring your just desserts
142
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,340
'and a recipe
for a perfect marriage
143
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,676
'is that gorgeous gourmet,
144
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,012
'tossing the uproarious
salad of life,
145
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,515
'Marriage Maze host,
Bert Schnick.'
146
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,559
(Man)
'Three seconds.'
147
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:14,573
- Hoopla, Denton!
- (All) Hoopla, Bert!
148
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,659
♪ (Organ)
149
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:22,289
(Excited chattering)
150
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,541
Thank you. Welcome.
Thank you.
151
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:28,795
Before we start I want to say one or two words
about tomorrow night's great new show...
152
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,839
The Faith Factory Sh...
153
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,799
(Audience gasps)
154
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:36,094
And as a matter of fact,
we have in the studio audience tonight
155
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,430
the host
and his lovely cohost.
156
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:41,725
Give a big hand, please,
to Ralph Hapschatt
157
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,936
and the vivacious
Macy Struthers.
158
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,813
(Man)
Hey, Ralph!
159
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,779
Let's get a camera in there,
for heaven's sake.
160
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:58,241
- Over the moon about that commercial, Macy.
- Thanks, Bert.
161
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:01,244
Got a good show lined up
for us tomorrow night, Ralph?
162
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,497
You bet, Bert!
163
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:08,460
Good! I'm gonna be there!
Ain't we all, viewers?
164
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,172
(Betty) 'Macy Struthers with my husband.
God, I must've been blind.'
165
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:16,510
Still, the weaker the man,
the dumber the blonde.
166
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,013
Isn't that Brad and Janet Majors
sitting in the audience there?
167
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,307
'What an ideal couple they are.
168
00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:25,977
'You know, more than anyone else in Denton,
they represent the old values.'
169
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,397
Ike would have
been proud of them.
170
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:33,360
And now, would the first couple who seem
to have made a hash of their marriage
171
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,656
and cooked their goose,
step this way, please!
172
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,034
- You!
- (Gasps) That's us, Brad.
173
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,830
Come on. What's cooking up there?
Come on down, you guys.
174
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,249
Let's feel you.
175
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:51,461
- I'm not going, Janet.
- You've got to. Everyone's watching.
176
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,422
(Cheering)
177
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,925
♪ (Organ)
178
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:07,144
Face the cameras.
Face the cameras.
179
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,146
Now introduce yourselves.
180
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,315
- My name is Brad...
- I'm Janet... Oh. Sorry.
181
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:16,445
I'm Janet Majors,
and this is my husband Brad.
182
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:21,199
(Bert) Hey, Brad, we've been hearing some
bad things about you. Haven't we, Janet?
183
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,744
(Both chuckling)
184
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:27,497
- Haven't we, Janet?
- Uh, yes, he needs help.
185
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,625
Help? Let's face it, Janet.
186
00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:33,086
Brad's an emotional cripple.
187
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,505
(Audience laughing)
188
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,343
(Janet)
'I know, I know.'
189
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:44,598
It looks like Rest Home for
this stupid old marriage, eh?
190
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:47,058
(Audience cheering)
191
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,482
(Bert) Tell me, Janet.
'Do you watch Dentonvale?
192
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:57,194
Uh, yes, I've caught it
once or twice.
193
00:12:57,319 --> 00:13:00,238
That's right. DTV's
most popular hospital series
194
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:03,074
featuring those perennial favourites,
Nation and Cosmo McKinley.
195
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,869
Neuro-specialists
par excellence.
196
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,079
I recommend, if you
pardon my French, Janet,
197
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:11,374
that you send Brad
to them for treatment.
198
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:16,588
Oh, uh, well, I know he's a little boring,
but neuro-specialists?
199
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:22,344
- That sounds a little drastic.
- It's no use pussyfooting around, Janet.
200
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,721
- We have to cut quick and deep.
- (Audience cheers)
201
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,891
♪ (Organ)
202
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,520
McKinley? McKinley?
203
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,647
- Bert brought them over from Europe.
- Oh?
204
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,317
They had a very popular series together.
It's still rerun in a lot of countries.
205
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,947
- You must have seen them in Dentonvale?
- No, I never watch that.
206
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:45,867
I'm afraid there's only one
solution. Isn't there, folks?
207
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,745
One, two, three.
208
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,414
Dentonvale!
209
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,751
Hoopla!
Don't go away!
210
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:58,630
We'll be right back to see
if Brad and Janet want to play or pass.
211
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,883
♪ (Organ)
212
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,559
Great.
213
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,979
Congratulations. I think
you've made a wise decision.
214
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,773
- But... But I...
- Janet?
215
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,693
- I'm not going.
- What do you mean, you're not going?
216
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,153
You'll ruin the show.
Bert's made all the arrangements.
217
00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,614
But I don't
need treatment.
218
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,910
(Bert)
'But you do need glasses, eh, stupid?'
219
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,454
(Laughs)
Doesn't he?
220
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,498
(Audience laughing)
221
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:44,593
I am sick of being humiliated by you!
Bert's right. You're going.
222
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:48,555
(Announcer) 'It looks like Brad
and Janet Majors have a big decision to make.
223
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,224
'Here's some more prizes
to amaze here on Marriage Maze.'
224
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:54,769
- ♪ Dear blender
- You won't blend into the background...
225
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:57,981
♪ Won't you help
a first offender
226
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:02,235
- ♪ Oh, toaster...
- 'Pop up in the popularity ratings...'
227
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,821
♪ Don't you put
the burn on me
228
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:09,534
- 'Just look at this.'
- ♪ Refrigerator
229
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:13,204
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
230
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:17,792
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
231
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,378
'Living on a knife edge?'
232
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,298
- ♪ Dear knife drawer
- 'Stay sharp with this keen knife.'
233
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,509
♪ Now won't you help me
to face life more
234
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:30,555
- ♪ Oh, trash can
- You can-can with the trash can.
235
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,476
♪ Don't you put
the dirt on me
236
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,604
♪ Oh, percolator
237
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:41,483
- ♪ Why are we always sooner or later
- 'No toil, no trouble.'
238
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:48,615
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
239
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,826
♪ Everything used
to be okay
240
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,912
♪ But I've been had
241
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,373
♪ And, Brad
I'm glad to say
242
00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,835
♪ Is on his way
243
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:04,047
♪ Micro-digital awaker
244
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,842
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
245
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:13,515
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
246
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:17,018
- ♪ Shower curtain
- 'Wash those blues away...'
247
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:21,189
♪ Won't you help me
to be certain
248
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:25,193
- ♪ Oh, toothpaste
- 'Arm yourself to the teeth...'
249
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,947
♪ Don't you put
the squeeze on me
250
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:32,242
♪ Depilatator
251
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:35,829
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
252
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:40,583
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night
253
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,711
(Audience cheering)
254
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:46,715
'Now it's back to Marriage Maze. And for
those of you who are Dentonvale watchers,
255
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,633
'here's our
surprise guest.
256
00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:52,429
- 'And here's Bert!'
- Hey, folks! It's Ricky from the Rest Home.
257
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,514
- Hey, Bert.
- Hey, Ricky.
258
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,766
I've come for Mr. Majors.
259
00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:01,604
Brad will learn how to care
in the surgical chair.
260
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:04,733
(Cheering)
261
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:08,945
- Nothing serious, I hope?
- Oh, no. Just a routine checkup.
262
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:13,116
Just a routine checkup,
eh, viewers?
263
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,663
(Bert)
'Come in.'
264
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,416
♪ Tell me, spectator
265
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:25,128
♪ Why are we always
sooner or later
266
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:30,508
♪ Bitchin' in the kitchen
or crying in the bedroom all night ♪
267
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,308
(Announcer chuckles)
'Well, Bert's done it again.
268
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,061
'Another rocky marriage
is headed for intensive care.'
269
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,605
The subject is committed.
270
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,318
As are we all.
271
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,654
- ♪ (Organ)
- (Announcer) 'Dentonvale.
272
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,408
'The arrival.
Introducing Brad and Janet Majors.'
273
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:59,412
Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Majors.
How wonderful to see you.
274
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,873
I'm Doctor Cosmo McKinley,
275
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,876
and this is my sister
and colleague,
276
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:07,879
Dr. Nation McKinley.
277
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,549
(Nation) We understand you've been
going through a rather trying time.
278
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,635
Well, yes, we have.
279
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,221
Now listen. There's...
there's nothing really wrong with me.
280
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,515
Janet and I haven't
been getting along too well lately
281
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,810
and I've had a little...
a little trouble...
282
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:27,607
- Oh, Brad.
- Ooh.
283
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,527
- Does he do this often?
- No, he's never done this before.
284
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,737
Good.
Then there's still hope.
285
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,823
Lots and lots of hope.
286
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,242
(Nation)
If anyone can help Brad, we can.
287
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:40,203
- Well, he does need help.
- (Cosmo) Nurse Ansalong, you've arrived.
288
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:44,707
- Oh, that was real short notice
because the other models...
- Attend to Mr. Majors, Nurse.
289
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,461
There are just one or two formalities
that have to be dealt with, Mrs. Majors.
290
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:51,464
A contract to be signed.
291
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,675
Oh, could I do that
later, please?
292
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,010
(Nation)
Of course you can, Mrs. Majors.
293
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,642
(Whispering)
Sign the contract tomorrow.
294
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:06,855
Ouch! Mrs. Majors.
Just one or two details.
295
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:11,151
Does Brad have any living relatives...
any blood relatives?
296
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:15,446
- No, he doesn't. Could I take care of this later?
- Of course.
297
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,993
Why did you tell me
not to sign now?
298
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:24,539
Well, that way you
get the first day free.
299
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:30,295
(Audience cheering On TV)
300
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:34,716
(Announcer)
'Here's Bert, that eternal showbiz wiz,
301
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:39,012
'with a family connection
in the 30-Second Quiz.'
302
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,682
As Janet's parents,
this should be really easy.
303
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,059
About Brad's family?
304
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:47,854
Your last clue is...
305
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,940
mental instability.
306
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:54,027
You have 30 seconds.
307
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:57,322
Mental instability?
308
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:01,367
- He was adopted, you know.
- Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten.
309
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:04,913
Well, I hadn't. I was worried about inherited
craziness when they married.
310
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:08,666
I said to Janet,
"What do we know of his parents?"
311
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:12,378
- Which leads us to...
- (Announcer) 'This afternoon's surprise prize, Bert...
312
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:17,300
'which is a delirious stay in
that evergreen series Happy Homes,
313
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:21,095
- 'with unlimited use of a new dream kitchen.'
- Infantile regression?
314
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:25,016
- You got it!
- I got it!
315
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,728
- She got it! She got it!
- I got it!
316
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,480
I got it!
317
00:20:30,605 --> 00:20:33,149
- She got it!
- (Audience cheering)
318
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:37,487
Congratulations. Congratulations.
And it's Happy Homes...
319
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:40,907
to Harry and Emily Weiss
of Denton.
320
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:43,368
- (Laughing)
- (Gasps)
321
00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:47,372
Aha.
322
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:51,167
I got it! I got it!
323
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,878
She got it! She got it!
324
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,006
In one.
Infantile regression.
325
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,717
Our speciality!
326
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:04,681
- Your speciality.
- I can't wait to begin on him.
327
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,975
Really, Bert, I don't know what
we'd do without you.
328
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:09,310
I must confess...
329
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:13,982
the decision to have Brad committed
was not strictly my own.
330
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,984
No, of course.
There's Janet.
331
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:19,779
But if she was
so keen on getting him in here,
332
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:21,948
why wouldn't she sign
the contract?
333
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,368
No, it wasn't Janet
exactly.
334
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:30,290
- It was, in fact, your new sponsor.
- Sponsor?
335
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:34,085
- Dentonvale has been sold.
- Sold?
336
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,212
Dear old Bert's
settled everything.
337
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,965
Ja, you endorse
his Faith Factory...
338
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:42,844
- and he endorses your research.
- He?
339
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:47,056
How dare this person take
advantage of my weakness!
340
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:51,644
I don't think he intends
to go that far.
341
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:54,355
(Both chuckle)
342
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:58,651
♪ (Rock)
343
00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,113
♪ If only you knew
344
00:22:02,196 --> 00:22:07,243
♪ How to win some prizes
345
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,245
♪ If only you knew
346
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:13,708
♪ How to play
347
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,879
♪ If you could sleep nights
348
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:20,214
♪ And stop your crying
349
00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:23,343
♪ Then you might find out
I still love you
350
00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:27,096
♪ In my own way
351
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:31,851
♪ If that's not enough
then I'm
352
00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:34,395
♪ So sorry I met you
353
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,522
♪ It was almost like
354
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:42,570
♪ Leading you on
355
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:46,032
♪ But there's more
to it all
356
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:50,703
♪ Than just wringing your heart out
over something
357
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:56,626
♪ That keeps on
going wrong
358
00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:00,213
♪ So don't tell me
you love me
359
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:07,136
♪ How am I supposed to know
what that means
360
00:23:07,261 --> 00:23:09,889
♪ No, don't sell emotion
361
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,141
♪ You can't buy devotion
362
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:17,814
♪ If you're falling apart
at the seams
363
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:21,109
♪ I hope that
you'll smile when you
364
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:24,654
♪ Reach your conclusion
365
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:31,661
♪ I hope that you'll know
just what to say
366
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,997
♪ But if it should mean
367
00:23:35,081 --> 00:23:37,708
♪ That the party is over
368
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:41,671
♪ You should know
that I still love you
369
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:44,715
♪ You should know that
I still love you
370
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:49,929
♪ You should know
that I still love you
371
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,181
♪ In my own way
372
00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:55,852
♪ In my own way
373
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,522
♪ In my own way
374
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:01,983
♪ In my own way ♪
375
00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:06,112
- Oh, my poor baby.
- Oh, Mom, it's Brad.
376
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:10,158
I know. I know, baby.
He's gonna get all the help he needs.
377
00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:14,203
- But in the meantime, look. For you.
- What is it?
378
00:24:14,287 --> 00:24:16,456
They call it a new look
at an old favourite.
379
00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:18,875
I copied it from
The Window on the World show.
380
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,627
- The Far East meets the Midwest.
- Mom...
381
00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:24,130
It's just what
the doctor ordered, I know.
382
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:27,550
- Come on in. My favourite show's just started.
- What show?
383
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,470
Dentonvale.
384
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:33,473
♪ (Organ)
385
00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,818
(Female announcer)
'Love starts in the home,
386
00:24:45,902 --> 00:24:50,031
'and where better to
find this than in today's Happy Homes.
387
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:54,160
'With guest star,
Janet Majors.'
388
00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:57,705
(Male announcer) 'If you're sick of having
the goodness boiled away out of your coffee,
389
00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:02,168
'replace that old perk of yours with
a coffeemaker of prestigious distinction.
390
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:06,756
'And be the envy of all
with a coffeemaker that says it all.'
391
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,425
(Janet)
'Oh, thanks.'
392
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:14,347
'When that man of yours comes in from
the big outdoors with a burning thirst
393
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,016
'that only Lake Michigan
could satisfy,
394
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:22,980
'make sure there's a cold can
of Krautmeister Light in the icebox.
395
00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:25,191
'He'll thank you for it.
396
00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:29,028
'And he'll thank Krautmeister.'
397
00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:32,865
For crying out loud, Emily.
Leave her alone. She's not a kid.
398
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:36,202
- Well, I wanted to see her in it.
- It's really very nice.
399
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,080
The material is imported.
Taiwanese.
400
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:41,874
Damn it, Emily.
She's not interested.
401
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:44,126
What are you trying to do,
Harry, start an argument?
402
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,128
Don't you want your daughter
to look pretty?
403
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,130
Who's she got
to look pretty for?
404
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,550
- She's got a husband.
- She's got a weirdo!
405
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:54,804
I've never been able to afford the time
to have a nervous breakdown!
406
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:58,391
- Oh, poor Brad.
- Thank God he was born an orphan.
407
00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,352
It would have killed
his parents.
408
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:05,022
And thank goodness he hasn't ended up
like that Slepstrini boy.
409
00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:09,235
What are you talking about?
Danny Slepstrini's a chip off the old block.
410
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,779
I played 18 holes of golf
with his father just last week,
411
00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:15,908
and Hank says that Danny's moved
to New York to... better himself.
412
00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:18,244
He moved, all right...
413
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:22,790
when they found him at the back of
Wilson's Bakery... naked...
414
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,877
with 15 other men.
415
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:29,338
Mexicans.
416
00:26:38,431 --> 00:26:42,602
I'm gonna catch up on a few jobs
that need doing outside!
417
00:26:45,146 --> 00:26:47,690
- You shouldn't have said that.
- But why?
418
00:26:47,773 --> 00:26:50,151
Your father doesn't
like Mexicans.
419
00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,361
'Your father doesn't
like Mexicans.'
420
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:54,363
(Boisterous cheering)
421
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:59,619
♪ (Dance rock)
422
00:26:59,702 --> 00:27:01,954
♪ A man should
call the toss
423
00:27:02,038 --> 00:27:04,457
♪ Wear the pants
and be the boss
424
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,709
♪ A man should be
the drake
425
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:09,128
♪ For his own damned sake
426
00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,422
♪ And men should be
the misters
427
00:27:11,505 --> 00:27:13,966
♪ And the masters
of their sisters
428
00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,968
♪ A man should be
the reason
429
00:27:16,052 --> 00:27:18,012
♪ For a heart to break
430
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:23,225
♪ So be moral
Don't quarrel
431
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:26,520
♪ Fair and square is best
432
00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:29,857
♪ Let me alert you
that virtue
433
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:32,151
♪ Won't hurt you
or desert you
434
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:36,739
♪ If you wear hair
on your chest
435
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:41,577
(All) ♪ So always remember
to follow the rules
436
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,121
- ♪ Box clever
- ♪ Jocks never
437
00:27:44,246 --> 00:27:46,916
♪ Hock another jock's tools
438
00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:54,423
♪ A man should wax a car
Fix a fuse and tend a bar
439
00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:58,886
♪ A man should like his brow
to be wet with sweat
440
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,347
♪ And should know
the right occasions
441
00:28:01,472 --> 00:28:04,058
♪ To indulge in tax evasions
442
00:28:04,141 --> 00:28:08,187
♪ A man should know the settings
that his spark plugs get
443
00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:12,149
♪ Faggots are maggots
444
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:19,198
♪ Thank God I'm a man ♪
445
00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:33,045
What a meal!
446
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:37,842
Scrumptious, meine Liebling.
I insist on the recipe.
447
00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:41,762
Coming from a gourmet,
that's praise indeed. But... secrets.
448
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,223
Oh.
449
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:48,144
With Fast-Food Farley at the helm,
it'll probably be TV dinners from now on.
450
00:28:48,269 --> 00:28:53,649
Farley is already
a TV winner as we shall see.
451
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:58,738
Dentonvale will run forever
now that his interest
452
00:28:58,863 --> 00:29:01,615
has embraced mental hygiene.
453
00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:03,743
Our field.
454
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:07,037
(Oliver) I'm convinced there's
some kind of conspiracy.
455
00:29:07,163 --> 00:29:09,081
- Conspiracy?
- Mm-hmm.
456
00:29:09,165 --> 00:29:11,459
Well, that's
a little far-fetched.
457
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:14,545
Oh, I don't know.
Remember Lieutenant Orpheus?
458
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,214
He disappeared into that underworld series
and never came back.
459
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:19,717
Sounds like my husband.
He never came back either.
460
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,179
- (Chuckles)
- Not after Flavours gave him a commercial break.
461
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:26,265
Oh, yes, Farley Flavours.
You know, I find it remarkable
462
00:29:26,348 --> 00:29:31,187
that his Faith Factory is being financed
by an entire nation's indigestion.
463
00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:37,777
Who do you think gave
you the next episode? (Chuckles)
464
00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:41,113
So that Janet will
be free to front line
465
00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:43,199
the new Faith Factory show.
466
00:29:43,324 --> 00:29:46,285
- We're the experts.
- Who trusts experts?
467
00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:48,412
Why Janet?
468
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:52,458
Everyone loves
the girl next door.
469
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,879
Particularly Farley.
470
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,634
So it seems.
471
00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,938
- (Knocking)
- Come in.
472
00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,315
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
473
00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:18,692
- Hi.
- I just came to give you this.
474
00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:21,028
- Thank you.
- Hi!
475
00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:23,030
- Hi.
- Hi.
476
00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:26,575
We'd better get going.
Tomorrow's the big one, and Farley expects.
477
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,452
Oh, you bet.
478
00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:32,915
- I guess we'd better leave you young things to it.
- Good-bye.
479
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:35,334
- Bye.
- Bye.
480
00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:44,343
- Oh, Ralph.
- Yeah?
481
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:48,681
- Shove it!
- Oh, you shove it too, Betty!
482
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:52,476
Alimony is just
another word for rape.
483
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:59,191
Conspiracy is right.
484
00:30:59,275 --> 00:31:02,486
- The Denton Dossier is...
- Closed.
485
00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:08,576
- ♪ (Organ)
- (Announcer) 'Dentonvale.
486
00:31:08,659 --> 00:31:12,329
'Special guest star,
Janet Majors.'
487
00:31:12,454 --> 00:31:15,749
- (All) Janet!
- I've come to see Brad.
488
00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:19,545
(Nation) That's out of the question.
He's sleeping like a baby.
489
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:23,799
- It's you we're concerned about, Janet.
- Yes, Janet, how are you?
490
00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:27,928
- Are you happy?
- Oh, I'm happy.
491
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:30,806
There are countless people
in this world, Janet,
492
00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:33,559
who believe
that they're happy.
493
00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:35,561
But they only think
they're happy.
494
00:31:35,686 --> 00:31:38,856
Oh, well, that doesn't
make any sense.
495
00:31:42,026 --> 00:31:45,112
This might, Janet.
496
00:31:47,531 --> 00:31:52,077
And a big Denton welcome
to my new delegation.
497
00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:56,957
This is Farley
and I'm here with the score.
498
00:31:57,082 --> 00:32:00,711
We're going to package
and sell some mental health to the nation,
499
00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:04,298
with my dream
of the girl next door.
500
00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:10,220
♪ Oh, why aren't they doing
tomorrow's new dance steps
501
00:32:10,304 --> 00:32:13,724
♪ The way they used
to yesterday
502
00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:17,811
♪ And who draws
a perfect circle anymore
503
00:32:19,897 --> 00:32:23,108
♪ And if you're waiting for greatness
to shake hands with you
504
00:32:23,192 --> 00:32:26,987
♪ You'd better daydream
your life away
505
00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:32,368
♪ I've only wanted one thing
and that's for sure
506
00:32:33,827 --> 00:32:36,997
♪ You're not just looking
at a fast-food king
507
00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:40,250
♪ Just another
well-known face
508
00:32:40,376 --> 00:32:44,713
♪ You're not looking
at the king of anything
509
00:32:46,590 --> 00:32:49,843
♪ I'm gonna shoot for the moon
I'm gonna play high noon
510
00:32:49,927 --> 00:32:53,681
♪ I'm gonna take on
the entire human race
511
00:32:53,806 --> 00:32:57,768
♪ You're not looking
at a king
512
00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,729
♪ You're looking at an ace
513
00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:08,153
♪ Ooh, I got sight
and I've seen the light
514
00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:11,615
♪ And I'm gonna see
the coming day
515
00:33:11,699 --> 00:33:14,368
♪ When the sun in the sky
is a spotlight
516
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:18,038
♪ Just for me
517
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:21,834
♪ I'm gonna take my time
and rock some rhyme
518
00:33:21,959 --> 00:33:24,712
♪ Oh, it's gonna take
your breath away
519
00:33:24,837 --> 00:33:27,297
♪ You'll be the front page
rage of the age
520
00:33:27,381 --> 00:33:31,802
♪ Just wait and see
521
00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:34,930
♪ You're not just looking
at a fast-food king
522
00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:38,434
♪ Just another
well-known face
523
00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:44,523
♪ You're not looking
at the king of anything
524
00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:47,693
♪ We're gonna shoot for the moon
We're gonna play high noon
525
00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:51,947
♪ We're gonna take on
the entire human race
526
00:33:52,031 --> 00:33:55,701
- ♪ You're not looking at a king
- ♪ No, no, no, no, no
527
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,871
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
528
00:33:58,996 --> 00:34:01,915
- ♪ You're looking at a goddamned ace
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
529
00:34:02,041 --> 00:34:05,335
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
- ♪ You're looking at an ace
530
00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:09,882
♪ You're looking
at an a-a-a-ace ♪
531
00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:14,595
I just love home movies,
don't you?
532
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:17,806
Time's tight, Janet.
Do it right, Janet.
533
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:22,478
Until tomorrow night...
534
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,605
Janet.
535
00:34:27,107 --> 00:34:32,154
Well, Farley Flavours
is fairly flattering.
536
00:34:34,782 --> 00:34:37,159
But I want to see Brad.
537
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:40,204
The question is, Janet,
does Brad want to see you?
538
00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:44,583
- Quite frankly, he hates you.
- What do you mean?
539
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:48,670
Brad is harbouring deep feelings of hostility
towards you, Janet.
540
00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:51,548
- Towards me?
- It's classical.
541
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:55,761
Almost a textbook case.
542
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,555
Oh, no!
(Crying)
543
00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:00,933
That's an extremely
negative response.
544
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:04,186
Yes, Janet. Leave
the crying to Brad.
545
00:35:04,269 --> 00:35:06,688
Is it because
I'm becoming too popular?
546
00:35:06,772 --> 00:35:11,652
On the contrary, Janet,
he wants to see your ratings soar.
547
00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:16,073
He needs a woman of
exceptional desirability.
548
00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:18,534
So, you see, Janet,
549
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:22,371
you can help us
to help him.
550
00:35:28,919 --> 00:35:31,588
Maybe I can.
551
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:34,675
♪ (Organ)
552
00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:38,971
(Humming)
553
00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:48,438
(Man on P.A.)
'Stand by for Faith Factory rehearsal.'
554
00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:52,401
- I bet that Macy Struthers had a hand in this.
- (Grunts)
555
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:55,529
We'll probably be replaced by an hour
of fashion tips.
556
00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:59,158
- (Chuckles) Now, Betty, don't overreact.
- Overreact?
557
00:35:59,241 --> 00:36:01,743
You're the one with
theories about conspirac...
558
00:36:03,912 --> 00:36:06,081
- Oliver?
- Yes, Betty?
559
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:10,627
Are you spoken for
this evening?
560
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:15,507
♪ (Organ)
561
00:36:20,262 --> 00:36:22,931
- (Stick Banging Table)
- All right, you guys.
562
00:36:23,056 --> 00:36:28,353
An early start tomorrow for Janet's debut
on Good Morning Denton.
563
00:36:28,437 --> 00:36:32,274
By the time we unveil
Farley's Faith Factory show...
564
00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:36,195
we'll have all earned
our beauty sleep.
565
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:41,074
- Could I just peep in on Brad before I go home?
- Home?
566
00:36:42,326 --> 00:36:44,953
Home.
567
00:36:45,078 --> 00:36:48,999
This is the nerve centre
of operations, Janet.
568
00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:52,377
You must stay here tonight.
That way we can all be together
569
00:36:52,461 --> 00:36:57,090
when Mr. Sun paints us a new day
with his golden brush.
570
00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:05,390
And you can "peep in"
on Brad in the morning.
571
00:37:05,515 --> 00:37:07,601
Morning?
572
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,895
Are all the beds
made up?
573
00:37:09,978 --> 00:37:12,189
Oh, yes! I've plumped up
all the pillows, changed...
574
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,484
- Then lock up for the night.
- Okay!
575
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,134
(Oliver)
Clever of you to find this spot, Betty.
576
00:37:41,218 --> 00:37:44,221
It pays to know
your way around, Oliver.
577
00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:48,058
I thought the Home of Happiness would
give your theory a new perspective.
578
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:50,811
A stately
pleasure home indeed.
579
00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:55,607
Oh, I adore
Coleridge Taylor.
580
00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:57,651
As a matter of fact...
581
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,534
"It is an ancient Mariner...
582
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,787
"and he stoppeth
one of three.
583
00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:13,667
"By thy long grey beard
and glittering eye...
584
00:38:13,750 --> 00:38:18,755
"now wherefore
stop'st thou me?"
585
00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,967
Oh.
586
00:38:22,092 --> 00:38:25,095
(Water running)
587
00:38:28,432 --> 00:38:31,435
♪ (Soft Rock)
588
00:38:48,410 --> 00:38:51,163
♪ I feel the heat
from your skin
589
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,540
♪ And the stubble
on your chin
590
00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:56,168
♪ You're no good
591
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,879
♪ You're no good
592
00:38:58,962 --> 00:39:01,298
♪ You've got dirt
on your hands
593
00:39:01,381 --> 00:39:03,759
♪ And everybody
understands
594
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,428
♪ You're no good
595
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,597
♪ You're no good
596
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,224
- ♪ Oh, what a joke
- ♪ What a joke
597
00:39:11,308 --> 00:39:13,769
♪ You feel like choking
598
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:16,355
- ♪ You play for broke
- ♪ You play for broke
599
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:18,398
♪ He leaves you smoking
600
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:24,112
♪ Oh, romance is not
a children's game
601
00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:27,074
♪ But you keep
going back
602
00:39:27,157 --> 00:39:31,328
♪ It's driving you
insane
603
00:39:40,087 --> 00:39:45,050
♪ Drift into
the treacle deep
604
00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:49,346
♪ Slip into its silent depths
Go to sleep
605
00:39:49,429 --> 00:39:54,226
♪ With your everything
akimbo
606
00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:59,731
♪ Float into
the sandman's limbo
607
00:39:59,815 --> 00:40:02,067
- ♪ Night, night
- ♪ Night, night
608
00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:04,319
♪ It's time for bye-byes
609
00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:09,699
♪ It's been a great day
Thanks a heap
610
00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,743
♪ Now it's time
611
00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:14,162
♪ For everyone
612
00:40:14,246 --> 00:40:19,543
♪ To go to sleep
613
00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:21,670
(All)
♪ Night, night
614
00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,256
♪ It's time for bye-byes
615
00:40:24,339 --> 00:40:29,302
♪ It's been a great day
Thanks a heap
616
00:40:29,386 --> 00:40:31,680
♪ Now it's time
617
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,141
♪ For everyone
618
00:40:34,224 --> 00:40:38,228
♪ To go to sleep ♪
619
00:40:57,372 --> 00:41:01,084
(Betty)
"He went like one that hath been stunned,
620
00:41:01,209 --> 00:41:05,464
- "and is of sense forlorn.
- (Snoring)
621
00:41:05,547 --> 00:41:09,634
"A sadder and a wiser man,
622
00:41:09,718 --> 00:41:12,179
he rose the morrow morn."
623
00:41:14,097 --> 00:41:16,141
(Loud banging)
624
00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:19,936
- Does this bird belong to you?
- (Screaming)
625
00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:22,355
(Beeping)
626
00:41:28,612 --> 00:41:30,614
(Beeping continues)
627
00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:45,378
Janet?
628
00:41:52,761 --> 00:41:55,514
Are you decent, Janet?
629
00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:01,603
(Shower running)
630
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,737
Hoopla, Bert!
631
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,740
Nice to see you up and about.
632
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:16,701
- Mac's waiting in the wardrobe, Janet.
- Uh-huh.
633
00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,622
Care to join me
in an on-set snack?
634
00:42:28,672 --> 00:42:31,258
(Muffled screaming)
635
00:42:48,275 --> 00:42:50,902
- (Sighs)
- (Door opens)
636
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:54,114
Good morning.
637
00:42:58,451 --> 00:43:00,704
I wanna see Brad.
638
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:06,376
Look at yourself.
You're beautiful.
639
00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:10,880
The most desirable creature
that ever walked.
640
00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,845
Oh, if only Brad could have found it within
himself to say those things to me.
641
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:21,641
He will, but it's up to you
to reawaken his feelings.
642
00:43:21,725 --> 00:43:24,519
Farley's given you
that chance.
643
00:43:24,603 --> 00:43:26,938
You can use
the Breakfast Show...
644
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:29,566
to knock Denton dead.
645
00:43:31,151 --> 00:43:33,278
Do you really think so?
646
00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,363
Everybody needs you.
647
00:43:38,533 --> 00:43:42,370
- Hmm. But what'll I do? What'll I say?
- Hmm?
648
00:43:42,662 --> 00:43:44,623
- What'll I wear?
- Ah.
649
00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:51,921
♪ Ever since I was
a little boy
650
00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:56,801
♪ Dressing up has always been
my greatest joy
651
00:43:56,926 --> 00:43:59,721
♪ But when it's time
to be discreet
652
00:43:59,804 --> 00:44:03,141
♪ There's one thing
you just can't beat
653
00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:07,354
♪ And that's a strapless
backless, classical little black dress
654
00:44:07,479 --> 00:44:10,523
♪ Well, first you go
rip, rip, rip
655
00:44:10,649 --> 00:44:12,942
♪ Then you go
snip, snip, snip
656
00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:15,362
♪ Then you whip
in a zip, zip, zip
657
00:44:15,487 --> 00:44:18,406
♪ And split it up
to the hip, hip, hip
658
00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:21,660
♪ And as you
strip, strip, strip
659
00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:24,746
♪ You shiver and quiver
660
00:44:24,829 --> 00:44:26,873
♪ For that soft caress
661
00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:31,461
♪ As you slip, slip, slip
into that little black dress
662
00:44:32,879 --> 00:44:35,882
♪ Ever since I was
the ein kleiner herren
663
00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:40,261
♪ It was the Cordon Bleu
for which I am most carin'
664
00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:44,224
♪ And the one taste treat
so sweet
665
00:44:44,307 --> 00:44:47,060
♪ That really can't be beat
666
00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:51,231
♪ Is what we have, ja, how you are, caviar
That little black mess
667
00:44:51,356 --> 00:44:55,026
- Et voilà!
- But how?
668
00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:58,571
♪ Well, first you go
rip, rip, rip
669
00:44:58,655 --> 00:45:00,699
♪ Then you go
snip, snip, snip
670
00:45:00,824 --> 00:45:03,451
♪ Then you whip
in a zip, zip, zip
671
00:45:03,535 --> 00:45:06,037
♪ And split it up
to the hip, hip, hip
672
00:45:06,162 --> 00:45:08,415
♪ And as you
strip, strip, strip
673
00:45:08,540 --> 00:45:12,252
♪ Oh, you quiver and shiver
674
00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,212
♪ For that soft caress
675
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:20,051
♪ As you slip, slip, slip
into that little black dress
676
00:45:20,176 --> 00:45:23,304
- ♪ That minimal
- (All) ♪ Minimal
677
00:45:23,430 --> 00:45:25,765
- ♪ Criminal
- ♪ Criminal
678
00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:29,519
- ♪ Cynical little black dress
- (Cheering)
679
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:34,482
♪ Let's face it, Mac
That basic black is coming back
680
00:45:36,693 --> 00:45:40,572
♪ Let's face it, Mac
That basic black is coming back
681
00:45:40,697 --> 00:45:45,243
♪ Let's face it, Mac
That basic black is coming back
682
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:49,330
- ♪ That minimal
- ♪ Minimal
683
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:52,083
- ♪ Criminal
- ♪ Criminal
684
00:45:52,167 --> 00:45:55,837
- ♪ Cynical
- (All) ♪ Little black dress ♪
685
00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:59,758
(Whistles)
Good morning, Denton. Rise and shine.
686
00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:03,052
She'll be here any second now.
So let's give her a great big hand.
687
00:46:03,136 --> 00:46:05,138
Come on now.
688
00:46:11,478 --> 00:46:14,439
♪ (Dance rock)
689
00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:25,366
Oh, Janet, I can't tell
you how excited I am... for you.
690
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:28,536
We've got the band
and dancers and dry ice standing by.
691
00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:32,290
Betty Hapschatt is indisposed,
so Macy will have to do the introductions.
692
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,375
I don't need introductions.
693
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:38,421
The fabulous, the golden...
694
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:40,965
the very wonderful...
695
00:46:41,090 --> 00:46:42,592
- I knew it!
- ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet
696
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:46,262
- I knew it!
- ♪ Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet, Janet
697
00:46:47,889 --> 00:46:51,810
♪ There's just
the two of me
698
00:46:51,893 --> 00:46:56,689
♪ Alone at last together
699
00:46:56,773 --> 00:47:01,402
♪ We've got
the luck so far
700
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:04,948
♪ We are my lucky star
701
00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:09,035
(Echoing) Star, star, star, star,
star, star, star, star.
702
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:13,039
♪ (Dance rock)
703
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:21,506
♪ Deep in the heart of me
704
00:47:21,589 --> 00:47:25,343
♪ I love every part of me
705
00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:29,013
♪ All I can see in me
706
00:47:29,097 --> 00:47:32,600
♪ Is the danger
and ecstasy
707
00:47:32,684 --> 00:47:37,146
♪ Yeah, one thing
there couldn't be
708
00:47:37,230 --> 00:47:41,442
♪ Is any more me in me
709
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:44,988
♪ This is the me of me
710
00:47:45,113 --> 00:47:48,992
♪ Me, me, me
711
00:47:49,075 --> 00:47:52,871
♪ Me, me
712
00:47:52,954 --> 00:47:56,875
♪ Me, me, me
713
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:59,168
♪ Me, me, me
714
00:47:59,252 --> 00:48:01,087
(Cheering)
715
00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:06,551
♪ I am my destiny
716
00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:08,970
♪ (Singing In French)
717
00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:14,058
(Chuckles)
♪ I'd never lie to me
718
00:48:14,142 --> 00:48:18,187
♪ I'd be willing to die
pour moi
719
00:48:18,271 --> 00:48:21,399
♪ I'll pray every day
to me
720
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:25,737
♪ And here's what
I'd say to me
721
00:48:25,862 --> 00:48:29,908
♪ This is the me of me
722
00:48:29,991 --> 00:48:34,329
♪ Me, me, me<
723
00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,665
♪ Me, me
724
00:48:37,749 --> 00:48:41,461
♪ Me, me, me
725
00:48:41,544 --> 00:48:44,547
- ♪ Me, me, me
- (Excited grunt)
726
00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:47,592
- ♪ Me, me, me
- Aah!
727
00:48:47,717 --> 00:48:51,054
- ♪ Ooh, me, me
- (Exhales)
728
00:48:51,179 --> 00:48:53,765
- ♪ Me, me, me
- Yeah!
729
00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:57,769
- ♪ Whoa, me, me
- (Chuckling)
730
00:48:57,894 --> 00:49:01,648
♪ Look at me
731
00:49:01,731 --> 00:49:03,608
♪ Moi, moi ♪
732
00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:09,322
Ah!
733
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:12,408
(Woman)
Janet! Janet!
734
00:49:12,492 --> 00:49:14,953
Janet!
735
00:49:23,044 --> 00:49:26,214
And you can see
and hear Janet tonight
736
00:49:26,297 --> 00:49:30,301
on Faith Factory, brought
to you by Farley Flavours.
737
00:49:30,385 --> 00:49:32,929
- (Audience cheering)
- All right, Janet.
738
00:49:33,012 --> 00:49:36,182
- You were far out.
- Terrific.
739
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:41,270
Out of self
came selflessness!
740
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:44,524
You revealed yourself,
the real you, the secret you.
741
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,610
- And you liked what you saw, didn't you, Janet?
- Well, I must say...
742
00:49:47,694 --> 00:49:51,864
- How's Brad?
- Well, if he caught my act, he'll be lookin' good.
743
00:49:51,948 --> 00:49:54,826
(Laughing)
744
00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:58,830
It seems I'm his medicine,
so we're off to give him another spoonful.
745
00:49:58,913 --> 00:50:02,250
Check you later, Betty.
I gotta freshen up.
746
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:04,335
(Laughing)
747
00:50:08,464 --> 00:50:12,051
Hey, how about that?
Janet was a knockout!
748
00:50:12,135 --> 00:50:14,303
- Thank you.
- Yeah, she was terrific.
749
00:50:14,387 --> 00:50:17,056
- Sexy!
- What?
750
00:50:18,391 --> 00:50:20,852
At the same time fresh,
untouched, you know.
751
00:50:20,935 --> 00:50:24,147
- Hey, how's Brad?
- (Both) He's fine.
752
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,899
Lucky dog, with a pretty girl
like that for a wife.
753
00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:31,696
Yeah, he sure is.
No sugar. Thanks, Kirk.
754
00:50:31,779 --> 00:50:35,033
Well, I'll sugar his daughter's...
(Chuckles)
755
00:50:35,116 --> 00:50:38,161
Coffee, Kirk.
I'm dying for it.
756
00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:41,873
R.I.P., Betty.
You're off the air.
757
00:50:43,416 --> 00:50:47,003
What's happening here?
Janet's on the Breakfast Show...
758
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:51,257
Brad's committed
to a nowhere series, and we've been...
759
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,551
Written out?
760
00:50:53,676 --> 00:50:56,929
- ♪ (Organ)
- (Announcer) 'Dentonvale.
761
00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:02,351
'The Mission of Mercy.
762
00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:06,189
'Starring the increasingly
popular Janet Majors.'
763
00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:08,483
Hi, Mommy.
Hi, Daddy.
764
00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:13,529
Hi, Brad. I've just come to
tell you how fabulous I am.
765
00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:17,158
Janet, where's that
lovely dress I made you?
766
00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:20,536
Oh, Mac just whipped up
this little crowd-pleaser.
767
00:51:20,620 --> 00:51:22,872
Well, you're
practically naked!
768
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:26,250
I can't wear anything under it, Daddy.
It would spoil the line.
769
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:28,586
(Muffled screaming)
770
00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:33,549
My God, Janet. How can you say such things?
Look at Brad. Look what they've done to him.
771
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,178
- Ah. Janet's parents?
- Are you the doctor?
772
00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,555
- Yes.
- There's gonna have to be an investigation.
773
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,267
- There are regulations about this sort of thing.
- It's for his own good.
774
00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:48,731
- Hoopla, Janet!
- Bert! Sweetheart! Oh, it's fabulous!
775
00:51:48,856 --> 00:51:51,025
(Cheering)
776
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:53,361
- What's going on here?
- You're wearing your black.
777
00:51:53,486 --> 00:51:57,365
- Yes, of course.
- I adore that colour.
778
00:51:57,490 --> 00:52:01,327
Patient was in great danger
of doing himself a mischief.
779
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:05,123
(Nation) We only want what's best for him.
As parents, you must understand.
780
00:52:05,248 --> 00:52:07,416
No. No, I don't!
781
00:52:07,500 --> 00:52:11,754
Brad doesn't need to be trussed up like
a turkey. There are drugs to keep him quiet.
782
00:52:11,838 --> 00:52:15,007
- We used them. All of them.
- And none of them worked?
783
00:52:15,091 --> 00:52:17,260
- No.
- Then double the strength.
784
00:52:17,343 --> 00:52:19,428
- We did.
- We know our job.
785
00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:24,433
(Nation) We also know how you feel.
We're not strangers to confusion.
786
00:52:24,559 --> 00:52:27,645
(Laughing)
787
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,398
- (Emily) 'We're not confused.'
- (Harry) 'Well, I am, goddamn it!'
788
00:52:30,523 --> 00:52:33,651
You trust Brad
with this crowd-pleaser?
789
00:52:33,776 --> 00:52:36,988
- ♪ (Rock)
- Ooh.
790
00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:43,995
♪ I'm not a locum with
motive to suture myself
791
00:52:44,078 --> 00:52:47,165
♪ I've been a cynic
for too many years
792
00:52:47,248 --> 00:52:50,793
♪ Playing doctor and nurse
It can be good for your health
793
00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:56,215
♪ I've seen clinics with
those gimmicks in Tangiers
794
00:52:57,717 --> 00:53:00,636
♪ But if you open your heart
to a smooth operator
795
00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:04,765
♪ He'll take you for all
that you've got
796
00:53:04,891 --> 00:53:09,312
♪ He'll hand you a curse
that'll be with you later
797
00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:12,023
♪ It'll shake you
the way he takes off
798
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,650
♪ Like a shot
799
00:53:14,734 --> 00:53:17,653
- ♪ You need a bit of
- (All) ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
800
00:53:17,737 --> 00:53:20,740
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
801
00:53:20,865 --> 00:53:24,869
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
802
00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,080
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
803
00:53:28,164 --> 00:53:31,584
♪ For a vista
that'll mystify ya
804
00:53:33,586 --> 00:53:37,298
♪ You're blinded by romance
You're blinded by science
805
00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,718
♪ Your condition
is critically grave
806
00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:44,805
♪ But don't expect mercy
from such an alliance
807
00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:50,353
- ♪ Suspicion of tradition's so new wave
- (Groans)
808
00:53:50,436 --> 00:53:53,940
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
809
00:53:54,065 --> 00:53:56,943
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
810
00:53:57,068 --> 00:54:00,821
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
811
00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:04,200
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
812
00:54:04,325 --> 00:54:08,287
♪ For a sister that'll certify ya
(Echoing)
813
00:54:08,371 --> 00:54:12,250
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
814
00:54:12,375 --> 00:54:15,002
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
815
00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:19,298
- ♪ You need a bit of
- ♪ Ooh, shock treatment
816
00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:22,260
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
817
00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:28,266
♪ For a sister that'll certify ya ♪
(Echoing)
818
00:54:28,349 --> 00:54:31,143
- (Chattering)
- Aha!
819
00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:38,109
Look at that!
Bert Schnick's dancing!
820
00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:46,284
- Bert can see!
- Macabre, isn't it?
821
00:54:46,409 --> 00:54:49,495
The blind<
leading the blind.
822
00:54:53,124 --> 00:54:56,877
(Audience cheering)
823
00:54:56,961 --> 00:54:59,088
- Welcome to the Faith Factory rehearsal.
- Thank you.
824
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,341
- We're all really excited about tonight.
- Oh.
825
00:55:02,425 --> 00:55:07,096
- Oh, do I get one of those?
- Oh, yes, yes, of course you do.
826
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:11,142
(Audience)
Janet? Janet? Janet?
827
00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:17,398
(Audience chanting)
Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
828
00:55:17,523 --> 00:55:19,692
Oh, really?
829
00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:23,446
Macy, why don't you take Janet
and help her freshen up before the rehearsal?
830
00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:26,490
- Surely.
- (Audience sighs)
831
00:55:29,744 --> 00:55:32,913
Ralph. You promised
me an introduction.
832
00:55:32,997 --> 00:55:35,041
Later, Francine.
833
00:55:35,124 --> 00:55:37,418
- Frankie!
- (Stomps Foot)
834
00:55:38,461 --> 00:55:42,673
Bert, could you spare
a moment?
835
00:55:42,757 --> 00:55:45,634
- Of course.
- (Chanting continues)
836
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:48,304
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
837
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:51,974
- Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
- Janet, a quick word.
838
00:55:52,058 --> 00:55:56,145
Could you tell our viewers what exactly you
will be representing tonight?
839
00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:59,148
- Sanity for today.
- Wow!
840
00:55:59,231 --> 00:56:01,942
And that's the word
from Janet Majors,
841
00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:04,236
DTV's newest star.
842
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:06,322
Okay, guys, let's move on.
843
00:56:06,405 --> 00:56:09,033
- How's Brad?
- He's a wreck.
844
00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:13,454
- Check. The quacks are willing tools?
- Ah, the quacks are fools.
845
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:17,708
You know, I wouldn't mind doing Janet
one or two favours.
846
00:56:17,792 --> 00:56:20,628
It's time to check
with Flavours.
847
00:56:23,339 --> 00:56:27,009
- (Phone buzzes)
- Shoot.
848
00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:30,221
(Chuckling)
849
00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:36,352
Is there anything else
you'd like, Janet?
850
00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:41,107
Yeah, a new carpet.
I hate the colour. Don't you?
851
00:56:41,190 --> 00:56:44,693
- (Door closes)
- It's only one night, Janet.
852
00:56:44,777 --> 00:56:47,905
- Don't forget who we're doing this for.
- Who?
853
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:50,324
Brad.
854
00:56:50,408 --> 00:56:55,579
You know, I'm getting awfully sick of hearing
about that emotional cripple.
855
00:56:55,663 --> 00:57:00,543
I've got a lot going for me, you know.
I'm going places. I'm gonna be someone.
856
00:57:00,626 --> 00:57:03,546
I'm gonna win my way
into the lives and hearts of the people
857
00:57:03,629 --> 00:57:07,258
even if I have
to kill to do it.
858
00:57:07,341 --> 00:57:10,803
I'll make the pathetic
little crumbs love me.
859
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:16,642
I don't even know why
I'm wasting my time here with you.
860
00:57:16,725 --> 00:57:18,686
I should be with my people.
861
00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:21,981
(Audience chanting)
'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!'
862
00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:24,024
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
863
00:57:24,108 --> 00:57:26,318
Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
(Cheering)
864
00:57:26,402 --> 00:57:29,363
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
865
00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:31,532
Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!
866
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,369
(Man)
Hey, Janet!
867
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:37,997
- Girl, you're great!
- Oh, thanks.
868
00:57:38,122 --> 00:57:40,916
- Hi. My name's Frankie.
- (All) Francine!
869
00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:43,752
(Francine)
And I think you're beautiful.
870
00:57:47,465 --> 00:57:51,927
Hi, I'm Brenda. This is my brother Oscar,
and this is our friend, Glish Davison.
871
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:56,682
(Glish) Janet, we really enjoyed doing
the Breakfast Show with you.
872
00:57:58,893 --> 00:58:03,022
This is Janet.
She's a phenomenon.
873
00:58:03,147 --> 00:58:06,150
♪ So if you're looking for a standard
to which you can aspire
874
00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:08,569
♪ Then, baby
875
00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:12,990
♪ Look at me
Whoa-oh
876
00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:17,828
- ♪ Look at me ♪
- All right!
877
00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:24,919
I think you need
a little rest.
878
00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:28,047
You've got a big night
ahead of you.
879
00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:32,218
- Your clothes are real neat.
- (Door closes)
880
00:58:32,343 --> 00:58:34,678
(Man on P.A.)
'Reminder. Wardrobe check...'
881
00:58:34,803 --> 00:58:39,058
(Audience chanting) 'We want Janet!
Janet! Janet! We want Janet!'
882
00:58:39,141 --> 00:58:41,852
(Chuckles)
Aren't they great?
883
00:58:41,936 --> 00:58:43,896
But getting back
to Faith Factory,
884
00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:46,982
all in all, it looks
like an exciting new series for us.
885
00:58:47,066 --> 00:58:49,818
Yes, and an attractive financial
prospect for Denton.
886
00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:53,906
- And fashion-wise?
- What did I tell you?
887
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:57,993
Well, I can just say that Faith Factory
will be introducing a new look
888
00:58:58,077 --> 00:59:02,498
that will show off one or two old faces
in an exciting new light.
889
00:59:02,623 --> 00:59:06,252
- (Neely) Really? Sounds interesting.
- Did you hear that, Oliver?
890
00:59:06,377 --> 00:59:10,673
Yes, Betty. But the false
promise of a new dawn
891
00:59:10,798 --> 00:59:15,302
usually leads to
a most bloody sunset.
892
00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:19,682
No, I don't know what Janet's next move
will be, but you can be sure of one thing.
893
00:59:19,765 --> 00:59:24,728
- It all starts right here.
- Thank you.
894
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,440
And that's the word
from Ralph Hapschatt...
895
00:59:28,524 --> 00:59:30,442
and Macy Struthers.
896
00:59:30,526 --> 00:59:32,778
(Audience chanting)
'Janet! Janet! We want Janet!
897
00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,489
'Janet! Janet!
We want Janet!'
898
00:59:35,573 --> 00:59:37,491
- Oh, Oliver!
- Hmm?
899
00:59:37,575 --> 00:59:39,577
What are we going to do?
900
00:59:40,661 --> 00:59:42,705
Care to indulge?
901
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,165
- Indulge?
- Mm-hmm.
902
00:59:45,249 --> 00:59:48,002
- In a little, um, masquerade?
- (Man on P.A.) 'Final reminder.'
903
00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:50,462
- Oh.
- 'Wardrobe check for Faith Factory medical outfits.
904
00:59:50,546 --> 00:59:53,382
'Wardrobe check for
Faith Factory medical outfits.'
905
00:59:53,507 --> 00:59:56,927
- ♪ (Organ)
- (Announcer) 'Dentonvale.
906
00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:59,221
'Parental predicament.'
907
00:59:59,305 --> 01:00:01,265
Oh, Harry,
what are we gonna do?
908
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:04,143
I don't know, Emily.
I'm worried.
909
01:00:04,268 --> 01:00:08,439
Maybe I could wear
those black leather brogues.
910
01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:12,401
Too flashy.
They'll clash with the new outfits.
911
01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:17,406
- (Groaning)
- It's all right, Brad, dear.
912
01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:19,450
Have another sedative.
913
01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:22,161
(Groans)
914
01:00:22,244 --> 01:00:24,622
We'll miss you
on the show tonight.
915
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:30,669
Don't worry, Brad.
I'll be back.
916
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:36,425
- What about those Italian loafers I bought in Hawaii?
- Mmm.
917
01:00:36,550 --> 01:00:38,927
(Groaning)
918
01:00:43,766 --> 01:00:47,936
I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
(Echoing)
919
01:01:01,492 --> 01:01:05,371
Face it, Janet.
Brad's an emotional cripple.
920
01:01:09,375 --> 01:01:12,795
- Quite frankly...
- He hates you.
921
01:01:12,878 --> 01:01:16,006
(Both laughing)
922
01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:19,802
(Farley)
'Time's tight, Janet.
923
01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:22,638
'Do it right, Janet.
924
01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:24,890
'Until tonight...
925
01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:28,018
'Janet.'
926
01:01:31,939 --> 01:01:35,150
I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
(Echoing)
927
01:01:35,275 --> 01:01:37,194
I've just come to tell you how fabulous I am.
(Echoing)
928
01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:45,160
♪ Out on a cul-de-sac
929
01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,790
♪ And I gotta go back
930
01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:54,586
♪ So come on, feet
931
01:01:55,713 --> 01:01:58,757
♪ We gotta hit the street
932
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:04,888
♪ We've got it made
933
01:02:04,972 --> 01:02:07,307
♪ I'm looking for trade
934
01:02:09,351 --> 01:02:12,604
♪ I'm lookin' for love
935
01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:15,941
♪ I'm lookin' for trade
936
01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:22,573
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
937
01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:24,908
♪ I need it now
938
01:02:26,827 --> 01:02:31,457
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
939
01:02:31,540 --> 01:02:34,585
♪ And we're gonna
get it somehow
940
01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:38,881
♪ I'm on a dead-end street
941
01:02:40,758 --> 01:02:43,302
♪ I'm like a dog
in the heat
942
01:02:45,137 --> 01:02:49,099
♪ I'm like a kid
with no toys
943
01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:53,437
♪ I wanna get those boys
944
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:58,317
♪ Oh, I can't be delayed
945
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,153
♪ I'm looking for trade
946
01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:06,992
♪ I'm lookin' for love
947
01:03:07,075 --> 01:03:09,620
♪ I'm looking for trade
948
01:03:09,745 --> 01:03:12,080
(Video game beeping)
949
01:03:12,164 --> 01:03:16,752
♪ Oh, we're all livin'
like there's no tomorrow
950
01:03:16,835 --> 01:03:20,756
♪ And the way things are going
that's probably true
951
01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:24,593
♪ But without you and me, Sis
the world would fall to pieces
952
01:03:24,718 --> 01:03:27,346
♪ Vena cava
Who's the raver
953
01:03:27,429 --> 01:03:29,807
♪ Our raving saviour
that's you
954
01:03:32,017 --> 01:03:34,645
♪ I'm on the primrose path
955
01:03:36,396 --> 01:03:39,066
♪ I'm looking for a laugh
956
01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:44,029
♪ Remember, it's no fun
957
01:03:45,197 --> 01:03:48,158
♪ To be the chosen one
958
01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:52,704
♪ There are games
to be played
959
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:56,959
♪ Looking for trade
960
01:03:58,794 --> 01:04:02,381
♪ I'm looking for love
961
01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:05,259
♪ I'm looking for trade
962
01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:11,807
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
963
01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,976
♪ And I need it now
964
01:04:14,059 --> 01:04:16,061
♪ Oh
965
01:04:16,144 --> 01:04:20,732
♪ I need some young blood
I need some young blood
966
01:04:20,816 --> 01:04:23,694
♪ And I'm gonna
get it somehow
967
01:04:23,777 --> 01:04:25,863
♪ I'm looking for trade ♪
968
01:04:25,946 --> 01:04:28,282
(Audience chanting)
'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!
969
01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:32,953
- 'Janet, Janet! We want Janet!'
- Janet? Janet?
970
01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,664
Wake up, Janet.
971
01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:40,794
You've got guests.
You can come in now.
972
01:04:40,919 --> 01:04:42,421
(Door opens)
973
01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:45,215
- Hi, Janet.
- How are you feeling?
974
01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:47,426
Who are you?
975
01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:51,430
- The band.
- Do you have any friends?
976
01:04:51,555 --> 01:04:54,016
Sure.
977
01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,143
You won't have soon.
978
01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:00,856
What are you called,
your band?
979
01:05:00,981 --> 01:05:03,567
Oscar Drill and the Bits.
980
01:05:04,693 --> 01:05:06,486
(Groans)
981
01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:18,206
(Door closes)
982
01:05:18,290 --> 01:05:23,629
Betty, it's imperative we get Janet
out of Farley's fast fingers
983
01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:28,634
and Brad out of that hellhole before
they both disappear forever.
984
01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,219
I don't mind
telling you, Oliver...
985
01:05:31,303 --> 01:05:33,931
I'm not looking
forward to this.
986
01:05:34,014 --> 01:05:36,224
If only I could
place that name.
987
01:05:36,308 --> 01:05:40,062
- McKinley.
- There was a president.
988
01:05:40,145 --> 01:05:42,397
President?
989
01:05:42,481 --> 01:05:45,400
Past presidents.
990
01:05:45,484 --> 01:05:48,612
Betty, this is
beginning to add up.
991
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:51,281
Really?
992
01:05:51,365 --> 01:05:53,408
What'll I pin this on?
993
01:05:53,492 --> 01:05:55,494
Faith, Betty.
994
01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:00,624
But make sure it's your own.
995
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:06,380
In a hurry, Mr. Flavours?
996
01:06:06,463 --> 01:06:09,424
There's a little lady
he doesn't wanna keep waiting.
997
01:06:09,508 --> 01:06:13,011
- And a date.
- Who with, Mr. Flavours?
998
01:06:15,514 --> 01:06:17,516
The past.
999
01:06:19,226 --> 01:06:22,354
♪ (Dance rock)
1000
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:27,818
♪ Like a virgin with an urgin'
in a surgery
1001
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:31,238
♪ I'll be swingin'
I'll be bringing out the nurse in me
1002
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:34,366
♪ The art will start
when I play my part
1003
01:06:34,449 --> 01:06:37,577
♪ As a healer who will
steal your heart
1004
01:06:37,661 --> 01:06:41,832
♪ Oh, look what I did
to my id
1005
01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:48,213
♪ Oh, look what I did
to my id
1006
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:53,468
♪ With neurosis in profusion
1007
01:06:53,552 --> 01:06:56,972
♪ And psychosis in your soul
1008
01:06:57,055 --> 01:07:00,142
♪ Eliminate confusion
1009
01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:06,148
♪ And hide inside
a brand-new role
1010
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:10,235
♪ Like a good-time girl
I'm gonna try some new tricks
1011
01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,113
♪ This could be the start
of a whole new career
1012
01:07:13,196 --> 01:07:16,366
♪ Got a deep plum lipstick
and some therapeutics
1013
01:07:16,450 --> 01:07:19,202
♪ This could take us to a town
that's nowhere near here
1014
01:07:19,286 --> 01:07:23,081
♪ Got the hot flush symptoms
and I'm feelin' sneaky
1015
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:25,709
♪ Young male intern
tall and handsome
1016
01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:29,212
♪ Got my hem so high
they'll say I'm being cheeky
1017
01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:32,716
♪ With legs like mine
I'm really made for dancin'
1018
01:07:34,926 --> 01:07:37,095
♪ Whoa-oh-oh
1019
01:07:38,263 --> 01:07:40,265
♪ Hey, hey, hey
1020
01:07:45,187 --> 01:07:48,523
♪ When heaven's
in the music
1021
01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:51,735
♪ Hell is in control
1022
01:07:51,818 --> 01:07:54,362
♪ The angels got the voices
1023
01:07:54,446 --> 01:07:59,910
♪ But the devil's got
the rock and roll
1024
01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,372
♪ We may look like
we're phony medics
1025
01:08:04,456 --> 01:08:07,459
♪ But we took our look
from a book by Fredericks
1026
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:12,839
♪ Oh, look what I did
to my id, kid
1027
01:08:14,091 --> 01:08:18,053
♪ Look what I did
to my id ♪
1028
01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:19,096
- (Janet) Oh, Brad.
- He's an emotional cripple, remember?
1029
01:08:19,221 --> 01:08:22,390
- (Janet) Oh, Brad.
- He's an emotional cripple, remember?
1030
01:08:22,474 --> 01:08:24,768
Even he wouldn't like
to see you like this.
1031
01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:28,563
Ralph, I need a final statement from her,
and if I don't get it, there's gonna be trouble.
1032
01:08:28,647 --> 01:08:31,399
- Later, Neely, okay?
- Ralph!
1033
01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:34,194
(Sighs)
How is she?
1034
01:08:34,319 --> 01:08:36,696
Well, come on.
Farley's expecting her any minute.
1035
01:08:36,822 --> 01:08:39,241
You guys get your asses
in front of those cameras,
1036
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:42,077
and try and earn yourselves
a reputation, okay?
1037
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,079
Well, move!
1038
01:08:44,204 --> 01:08:46,456
We just wanna ask
a few questions.
1039
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,419
These are for you, Janet.
1040
01:08:51,503 --> 01:08:53,547
They'll make you feel
a whole lot better.
1041
01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:55,549
Yeah.
1042
01:08:59,553 --> 01:09:01,555
Amateurs.
1043
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:09,104
- (Woman) 'Give us a "J"!'
- (Audience) 'J!'
1044
01:09:09,187 --> 01:09:10,772
- 'A!'
- 'A!'
1045
01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:12,315
- 'N!'
- 'N!'
1046
01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,650
- E!
- E!
1047
01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:15,527
- Give us a "T"!'
- 'T!'
1048
01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:18,613
- We can't hear you!
- (Crowd groans)
1049
01:09:18,697 --> 01:09:21,116
- Give us a "J"!
- J!
1050
01:09:21,241 --> 01:09:23,160
(Cheering continues, indistinct)
1051
01:09:41,178 --> 01:09:44,139
(Beeping)
1052
01:09:50,896 --> 01:09:54,566
Oh, my God.
Character actors.
1053
01:09:54,691 --> 01:09:56,776
(Man on P.A.)
'Ladies and gentlemen...
1054
01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,155
'the studio band will soon<
be here to entertain you
1055
01:10:00,238 --> 01:10:04,159
'in anticipation of tonight's
premiere taping
1056
01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,495
of Farley Flavours'
Faith Factory.'
1057
01:10:07,579 --> 01:10:10,707
(Crowd cheers)
1058
01:10:10,832 --> 01:10:13,126
(Typing)
1059
01:10:13,251 --> 01:10:16,213
(Beeping)
1060
01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:24,262
And so if you're a follower
of exotic trends in fashion,
1061
01:10:24,346 --> 01:10:27,265
you'll find plenty to keep
you going here tonight.
1062
01:10:27,349 --> 01:10:29,392
And, naturally,
feeling the excitement,
1063
01:10:29,476 --> 01:10:32,020
and not wishing to stick out
like a sore thumb,
1064
01:10:32,103 --> 01:10:35,106
I had to get a little outfit
of my own together.
1065
01:10:35,190 --> 01:10:38,026
And this...
1066
01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,070
is it.
1067
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:42,489
(Giggles)
1068
01:10:57,128 --> 01:10:59,130
(Ralph on P.A.)
'Ladies and gentlemen...'
1069
01:10:59,256 --> 01:11:01,800
to help get you in the mood
for Faith Factory...
1070
01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:06,888
DTV proudly presents
Denton's own...
1071
01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:10,767
with a suburban
garage sound.
1072
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,938
Let's hear it for
Oscar Drill and the Bits!
1073
01:11:15,063 --> 01:11:16,773
Oh, Oliver.
1074
01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:19,734
This is one time charity
didn't begin at home.
1075
01:11:19,818 --> 01:11:21,027
(Oscar)
'One, two, three, four!'
1076
01:11:21,945 --> 01:11:24,823
- ♪ (Rock)
- (Crowd cheering)
1077
01:11:25,907 --> 01:11:28,034
(Muffled Yelp)
1078
01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:33,415
♪ I know how it feels
to be coolin' my heels
1079
01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:36,751
♪ I've been down on them
long enough
1080
01:11:37,877 --> 01:11:41,464
♪ But if I take
to them now
1081
01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:44,551
♪ Then maybe somehow
1082
01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:46,678
♪ You'll see
through the bluff
1083
01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,847
♪ Of my playin' it tough
1084
01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,476
(All)
♪ I've been a lifetime on deposit
1085
01:11:53,601 --> 01:11:56,396
♪ And that's a long time
in the closet
1086
01:11:56,521 --> 01:11:59,107
- ♪ And if you say to me
- ♪ How was it
1087
01:11:59,190 --> 01:12:02,444
♪ It was hard takin'
that heartbreakin'
1088
01:12:02,527 --> 01:12:05,071
♪ Godforsaken route
But I'm... ♪
1089
01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:08,074
- (Backup singers) ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh
- ♪ Breakin' out
1090
01:12:09,451 --> 01:12:11,453
Whoo!
1091
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,248
♪ You may say
that you choose
1092
01:12:15,373 --> 01:12:18,293
♪ To be in my shoes
1093
01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:21,921
♪ But look what it
did for me
1094
01:12:23,715 --> 01:12:26,843
♪ I got buried alive
1095
01:12:26,926 --> 01:12:29,888
♪ I don't thrive
on that jive
1096
01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:31,931
♪ Look and you'll see
1097
01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:34,267
♪ That my spikes
don't fit me
1098
01:12:35,810 --> 01:12:38,730
♪ I've been a lifetime
on deposit
1099
01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:41,274
♪ And that's a long time
in the closet
1100
01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:43,985
- ♪ And if you say to me
- ♪ How was it
1101
01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:47,530
♪ It was hard takin'
that heartbreakin'♪<
1102
01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,033
♪ Godforsaken route
1103
01:12:50,158 --> 01:12:52,577
- ♪ But I'm-♪
- ♪ Buh-buh-buh-buh, buh-duh
1104
01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,662
- ♪ Breakin' out
- Where are we goin'?
1105
01:12:54,746 --> 01:12:57,665
To a family reunion.
1106
01:12:57,791 --> 01:12:59,459
♪ Breakin' out
1107
01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:02,337
- Breakin' out!
- ♪ Breakin' out
1108
01:13:02,462 --> 01:13:05,006
♪ Breakin' out ♪
1109
01:13:09,844 --> 01:13:12,389
(Cheering)
1110
01:13:14,474 --> 01:13:16,434
(All laughing)
1111
01:13:18,353 --> 01:13:22,816
And she represents everything
our customers want.
1112
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,859
Innocence...
1113
01:13:24,943 --> 01:13:26,986
decency...
1114
01:13:27,070 --> 01:13:29,030
and the illusion
of a happy ending.
1115
01:13:29,114 --> 01:13:32,075
- (Squeals)
- Oh, jolly good, Mr. Flavours.
1116
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:38,456
And behind her image,
take-away therapy will thrive
1117
01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:43,670
under the capable hands
of two great ethical intellects
1118
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,047
operating on the frontiers
of medical science.
1119
01:13:46,131 --> 01:13:48,049
- Huh? Huh?
- Mac and Nation.
1120
01:13:48,133 --> 01:13:50,051
Mac and Nation.
Yes. Great work.
1121
01:13:50,135 --> 01:13:53,346
And under
the firm guidance
1122
01:13:53,430 --> 01:13:56,683
of a great survivor
1123
01:13:56,766 --> 01:13:59,644
in the treacherous
sea of diplomacy,
1124
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:01,729
our own Bert Schnick.
1125
01:14:01,813 --> 01:14:04,357
Huh?
(Laughs)
1126
01:14:04,441 --> 01:14:07,152
- Now let's get this show on the road!
- Hey!
1127
01:14:07,235 --> 01:14:10,655
(All chattering)
1128
01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:14,576
Mr. Flavours, may I have a moment
of your time?
1129
01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:17,579
Sure thing.
1130
01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:22,834
We've heard rumours that you're going to
unveil more than just a new series tonight.
1131
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:25,378
- Is this true?
- Absolutely correct.
1132
01:14:25,462 --> 01:14:28,756
Could you tell us
a little more about it?
1133
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,009
Well, let just say...
1134
01:14:31,092 --> 01:14:35,763
we're planning on putting sanity
back on the national menu.
1135
01:14:35,847 --> 01:14:39,309
And how does local girl
Janet Majors
1136
01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:42,353
- fit into the scheme of things?
- (Door opens)
1137
01:14:46,274 --> 01:14:48,193
Very...
1138
01:14:48,276 --> 01:14:50,236
nicely.
1139
01:14:55,575 --> 01:14:57,577
Brad?
1140
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:01,498
And he's resented you
all these years.
1141
01:15:01,581 --> 01:15:04,459
- And Janet?
- She represents everything he was denied.
1142
01:15:04,542 --> 01:15:06,461
Oh.
1143
01:15:06,586 --> 01:15:12,342
(Announcer)
'By satellite, Farley Flavours' Faith Factory.'
1144
01:15:12,467 --> 01:15:14,802
Ladies and gentlemen...
1145
01:15:14,886 --> 01:15:17,889
Denton's own,
America's pride...
1146
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:20,350
the world's example...
1147
01:15:20,475 --> 01:15:23,186
Janet, the sensation
of the planet.
1148
01:15:23,311 --> 01:15:28,733
We bring you
Miss Mental Health.
1149
01:15:28,858 --> 01:15:33,446
♪ (Drumroll)
1150
01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,787
Isn't she lovely?
1151
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:44,624
Mommy and Daddy
love you, baby!
1152
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:48,336
- (Nation) She walks in beauty.
- That's my little girl!
1153
01:15:48,461 --> 01:15:51,005
♪ (Drumroll continues)
1154
01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:57,178
(Bert)
'Attagirl, Janet!'
1155
01:15:57,262 --> 01:15:59,889
(Emily)
'We love you, baby!'
1156
01:16:04,435 --> 01:16:06,479
(Nation)
'We all love Janet.'
1157
01:16:06,604 --> 01:16:09,315
- Who do we love?
- (Audience) 'Janet!'
1158
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:12,151
(Cheering) Janet!
1159
01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:16,114
The dress Janet's wearing has been given
by Crème de la Crème Modes of downtown Denton,
1160
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:20,493
and we've been asked that you take note of
the individual styling and exquisite tailoring.
1161
01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:24,330
This is just one of the many
gifts so freely and generously given to Janet.
1162
01:16:24,414 --> 01:16:28,918
The first of, we hope, many.
Miss Mental Health.
1163
01:16:29,043 --> 01:16:31,921
(Cheering)
1164
01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:39,429
Ladies and gentlemen,
the president.
1165
01:16:39,554 --> 01:16:41,723
- ♪ (Drumroll)
- The president's here!
1166
01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:43,766
Zoom in there.
1167
01:16:54,694 --> 01:17:00,241
Hi, I'm Irwin Lapsey,
president of Lapsey Autos.
1168
01:17:01,659 --> 01:17:05,163
And I'm holding
in my hand here some keys.
1169
01:17:05,246 --> 01:17:09,876
Keys which I would like to give to the little lady
who's being so honoured here tonight.
1170
01:17:11,085 --> 01:17:13,755
And I want to tell you.
If she takes these keys
1171
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:16,215
she will find that
they fit something.
1172
01:17:16,341 --> 01:17:19,093
- ♪ (Organ)
- (Audience gasps)
1173
01:17:19,218 --> 01:17:23,306
And what that something is,
is an almost brand-new
1174
01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:27,644
ultra-deluxe,
eight-cylinder convertible,
1175
01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:32,190
complete with radio, tape deck,
washable seat covers and many, many extras.
1176
01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:35,652
And it's all hers
for absolutely free.
1177
01:17:35,777 --> 01:17:38,571
(Audience applauding)
1178
01:17:49,499 --> 01:17:51,542
- (Ralph) Well...
- (Scoffs)
1179
01:17:51,626 --> 01:17:55,171
Janet's absolutely speechless,
ladies and gentlemen.
1180
01:17:55,296 --> 01:17:57,256
(All groan)
1181
01:17:57,382 --> 01:17:59,550
But here's someone
we do want to hear from.
1182
01:17:59,676 --> 01:18:02,637
A firm favourite
of yours and mine.
1183
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,972
- You've revelled in his recipes.
- (Groans)
1184
01:18:05,056 --> 01:18:07,350
You've marvelled at
his marriage guidance.
1185
01:18:07,475 --> 01:18:11,813
The all-knowing,
and now, all-seeing...
1186
01:18:11,938 --> 01:18:14,357
- (Murmuring)
- That's right!
1187
01:18:14,482 --> 01:18:18,528
- Bert Schnick!
- (Cheering)
1188
01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:31,999
- (Groaning)
- There. Down there. Come on, Betty.
1189
01:18:35,253 --> 01:18:37,588
(Woman)
Bert, you're beautiful!
1190
01:18:38,798 --> 01:18:41,467
- Hoopla, Denton!
- (All) Hoopla, Bert!
1191
01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:45,388
- Thank you. Welcome.
- What's cooking, Bert?
1192
01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:49,684
I'll tell you what's cooking,
buddy, and I'll tell you too, you guys.
1193
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:54,063
She made the blind see,
and it was a gift.
1194
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,275
Who was the gift from?
1195
01:18:57,358 --> 01:19:01,028
- Let's hear an "F" for...
- Farley!
1196
01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:05,199
- And another "F" for...
- Flavours!
1197
01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:08,202
(Cheering)
1198
01:19:29,056 --> 01:19:31,058
My friends!
1199
01:19:32,393 --> 01:19:36,355
And you are all my friends.
(Chuckles)
1200
01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:42,278
My friends, tonight we are taking
the first step of defiance
1201
01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:47,074
and starting something
that will grow so big
1202
01:19:47,158 --> 01:19:50,620
that the whole world will
reverberate with its sound.
1203
01:19:50,745 --> 01:19:54,749
And wherever our slogan
1204
01:19:54,874 --> 01:19:58,336
"sanity and vanity"
1205
01:19:58,419 --> 01:20:00,755
is uttered,
1206
01:20:00,838 --> 01:20:05,051
it will be linked
incontrovertibly with this night,
1207
01:20:05,134 --> 01:20:07,929
this station,
1208
01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:13,601
and this...
beautiful face.
1209
01:20:13,684 --> 01:20:16,687
(Applause, cheering)
1210
01:20:17,855 --> 01:20:20,066
Huh? Come on!
This way!
1211
01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:33,371
- (All screaming)
- (Man) It's a crazy man!
1212
01:20:35,206 --> 01:20:38,543
- Seducer!
- And who are you, sir?
1213
01:20:38,668 --> 01:20:42,505
- Your twin brother and your accuser!
- Brad.
1214
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:45,550
Arrest that man!
He's committed to our care.
1215
01:20:46,843 --> 01:20:49,136
I never signed your contract.
1216
01:20:49,262 --> 01:20:52,306
He's not going anywhere.
1217
01:20:52,431 --> 01:20:55,268
To revenge your twin,
you tried to abuse her.
1218
01:20:55,393 --> 01:20:57,395
A ridiculous accusation!
1219
01:20:57,478 --> 01:20:59,939
You force me to refuse her.
1220
01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:07,738
- Then why did you choose her?
- Because of you, sir.
1221
01:21:07,864 --> 01:21:10,741
(Farley)
♪ You're a loser
1222
01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:16,414
♪ An abomination in the eyes
of any sensitive man
1223
01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:20,209
♪ And you're
a blind-alley cruiser
1224
01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:23,421
♪ Always headin'
down a losin' straight
1225
01:21:23,504 --> 01:21:26,048
♪ Dreamin' that you're
screamin' at fate
1226
01:21:26,132 --> 01:21:29,302
♪ You're a dead-end deadbeat
nowhere mister
1227
01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:32,346
♪ With a kisser like
a Mississippi alligator sister
1228
01:21:32,430 --> 01:21:37,184
♪ I've took as much of you
as any man can
1229
01:21:37,268 --> 01:21:40,479
- ♪ You've lost your heart
- ♪ You've lost your cause
1230
01:21:40,605 --> 01:21:43,357
♪ You lost your baby
when you lost your balls
1231
01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:46,027
♪ You've lost your mind
You've lost your grip
1232
01:21:46,152 --> 01:21:49,238
♪ So say bye-bye
1233
01:21:49,363 --> 01:21:52,283
♪ We lost our mom
We lost our dad
1234
01:21:52,366 --> 01:21:56,078
♪ And if I'm losin' you
Well, that's too bad
1235
01:21:56,203 --> 01:21:59,081
♪ Well, the best thing you
could ever do
1236
01:21:59,165 --> 01:22:01,250
♪ Is die
1237
01:22:01,375 --> 01:22:04,128
♪ You're a failure
1238
01:22:04,253 --> 01:22:07,381
♪ A malformation
in the guise of many
1239
01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:09,926
♪ An also-ran
1240
01:22:10,051 --> 01:22:13,596
♪ And you're a weeper
and a wailer
1241
01:22:13,721 --> 01:22:15,932
♪ Always treadin'
on the toes of the great
1242
01:22:17,308 --> 01:22:19,810
♪ Generally spreading
your weight
1243
01:22:19,936 --> 01:22:22,813
♪ You're a spiteful, hateful
asinine creature
1244
01:22:22,939 --> 01:22:25,733
♪ A pupil with no scruples who
knew better than the teacher
1245
01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:30,947
♪ I've took as much of you
as any man can
1246
01:22:31,072 --> 01:22:34,200
- ♪ You've lost your heart
- ♪ You've lost your cause
1247
01:22:34,325 --> 01:22:37,370
♪ You lost your baby
when you lost your balls
1248
01:22:37,495 --> 01:22:40,414
♪ You lost your mind
when you lost your grip
1249
01:22:40,498 --> 01:22:42,708
♪ So say bye-bye
1250
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:46,003
♪ We lost our home
Our family
1251
01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:49,632
♪ You've lost compassion
Now you're losin' me
1252
01:22:49,757 --> 01:22:52,843
♪ Well, the best thing
you could ever do
1253
01:22:52,969 --> 01:22:55,554
♪ Is die
1254
01:22:55,680 --> 01:23:00,893
♪ Well, the best thing
you could ever do is die
1255
01:23:01,018 --> 01:23:06,065
(Farley) ♪ Well, the best thing you
could ever do is die ♪
1256
01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:08,985
Take no notice of him.
He's mad.
1257
01:23:09,110 --> 01:23:11,278
(Murmuring)
1258
01:23:11,404 --> 01:23:14,198
I'm as sane as you are.
1259
01:23:14,323 --> 01:23:17,451
- Saner!
- And he was only with us for one day.
1260
01:23:17,576 --> 01:23:20,079
(Laughing)
1261
01:23:21,414 --> 01:23:24,875
They should be sent
to the Danube at dawn.
1262
01:23:24,959 --> 01:23:26,877
What?
1263
01:23:26,961 --> 01:23:28,963
Just memories.
1264
01:23:33,843 --> 01:23:36,804
We'll edit the tapes.
It'll never see airplay.
1265
01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:38,889
Um, I hope Mr. Flavours
will accept apologies
1266
01:23:38,973 --> 01:23:41,851
on behalf of all of Denton
for this unfortunate incident.
1267
01:23:41,934 --> 01:23:44,228
It seems everyone wants
to be related to the great.
1268
01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:47,356
- (Man) Damn right!
- (Cheering)
1269
01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:49,358
No offence. No offence.
1270
01:23:49,442 --> 01:23:53,195
On the contrary, this is a perfect example
of what we're here to combat.
1271
01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:12,214
Out! Out!
Out! Out!
1272
01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:15,301
(All)
Out! Out! Out!
1273
01:24:15,426 --> 01:24:17,887
(Chanting)
Out! Out! Out!
1274
01:24:18,012 --> 01:24:20,806
Out! Out! Out!
1275
01:24:20,931 --> 01:24:24,685
Out! Out! Out!
1276
01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:27,938
(Chanting continues)
Out! Out! Out!
1277
01:24:28,022 --> 01:24:33,152
Out! Out! Out!
Out! Out! Out!
1278
01:24:33,277 --> 01:24:35,780
(Chanting Faster)
Out! Out! Out!
1279
01:24:35,905 --> 01:24:39,784
Do you see? You see, the way we got rid
of that dirty little dish
1280
01:24:39,867 --> 01:24:43,412
is the way we're going to put
the rest of our house in order,
1281
01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:45,664
including the upstairs!
1282
01:24:45,790 --> 01:24:50,961
(Cheering)
1283
01:24:51,045 --> 01:24:53,547
Ah, yes, yes.
Miss. You, yes.
1284
01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,633
Would you come up
and help us to inaugurate...
1285
01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:59,804
Farley Flavours' Faith Factory, transmitting
from coast to coast and continent to continent?
1286
01:24:59,887 --> 01:25:02,973
- You are Miss... Miss...
- Macy. Macy Struthers.
1287
01:25:03,057 --> 01:25:06,685
- Macy Struthers!
- (Audience cheering)
1288
01:25:06,811 --> 01:25:09,105
♪ (Organ)
1289
01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:12,817
Who loves you, baby?
1290
01:25:16,070 --> 01:25:18,656
She let me down.
1291
01:25:22,034 --> 01:25:24,161
She let us all down!
1292
01:25:24,245 --> 01:25:27,832
Shut up, Emily,
and listen to a success story.
1293
01:25:33,754 --> 01:25:36,173
This could be worse
than the old series.
1294
01:25:36,257 --> 01:25:39,051
In the old series,
we never had a convertible.
1295
01:25:42,221 --> 01:25:45,015
And remember,
sanity today
1296
01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:50,521
is a springboard to
the hygienic tomorrow.
1297
01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:53,023
(Cheering)
1298
01:25:58,779 --> 01:26:00,781
(Cheering stops)
1299
01:26:00,865 --> 01:26:04,451
Now will you follow me
1300
01:26:04,535 --> 01:26:08,038
down the DTV trail
to Dentonvale?
1301
01:26:08,164 --> 01:26:10,374
(Cheering)
1302
01:26:13,002 --> 01:26:16,463
Thanks, honey. They bought it.
Now out of the way. That's right!
1303
01:26:16,589 --> 01:26:18,382
I can't stand it.
1304
01:26:18,465 --> 01:26:21,093
Everything good always
happens to other people.
1305
01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:43,782
And fast-food giant, Farley Flavours
has just given Miss Mental Health
1306
01:26:43,866 --> 01:26:47,828
what can only be described as
an official kiss of approval.
1307
01:26:47,912 --> 01:26:49,955
And the crowd
are loving it
1308
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:53,000
as they follow her down
the Dentonvale trail.
1309
01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:55,127
Hey, look!
They're havin' a party.
1310
01:27:02,593 --> 01:27:05,596
Come on, you guys.
We're gonna miss out on the action.
1311
01:27:05,721 --> 01:27:08,307
(Woman)
'Hurry! Get in there!'
1312
01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:19,526
♪ Some people do it
for compassion
1313
01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:25,032
♪ Some people do it
for the fashion
1314
01:27:25,115 --> 01:27:29,119
♪ Some people
do it to be funny
1315
01:27:29,203 --> 01:27:33,123
♪ Some people
do it for the money
1316
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,961
♪ Some people do it
for enslavement
1317
01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:41,507
- ♪ Some people do it on the pavement
- ♪ But
1318
01:27:41,632 --> 01:27:44,343
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1319
01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:47,471
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1320
01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:52,768
♪ We're gonna do it
no matter how the wind is blowing
1321
01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:55,562
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1322
01:27:55,646 --> 01:27:58,440
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1323
01:27:58,524 --> 01:28:02,695
♪ We're gonna do it
We just gotta keep going
1324
01:28:02,778 --> 01:28:05,489
♪ Some people do it
for each other
1325
01:28:05,572 --> 01:28:08,450
♪ Some people do it
for their lover
1326
01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:10,995
♪ Some people do it
for improvement
1327
01:28:11,120 --> 01:28:13,539
♪ Some people do it
for the movement
1328
01:28:13,664 --> 01:28:16,875
♪ Some people do it
for enjoyment
1329
01:28:17,001 --> 01:28:18,961
♪ Some people do it
for employment
1330
01:28:19,086 --> 01:28:20,921
♪ But
1331
01:28:21,005 --> 01:28:23,674
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1332
01:28:23,757 --> 01:28:26,468
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1333
01:28:26,552 --> 01:28:32,057
♪ We're gonna do it
no matter how the wind is blowing
1334
01:28:32,141 --> 01:28:34,893
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1335
01:28:34,977 --> 01:28:38,022
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1336
01:28:38,105 --> 01:28:42,860
♪ We're gonna do it
We just gotta keep going
1337
01:28:42,985 --> 01:28:44,903
(Cork pops)
1338
01:28:44,987 --> 01:28:47,614
♪ Denton, Denton
You've got
1339
01:28:47,740 --> 01:28:50,075
♪ No pretension
1340
01:28:50,159 --> 01:28:55,664
♪ You're where the heart is
You're okay
1341
01:28:55,748 --> 01:28:58,542
♪ Denton, Denton
You've got
1342
01:28:58,667 --> 01:29:01,003
♪ No pretension
1343
01:29:01,086 --> 01:29:04,340
♪ You're the acceptable face
1344
01:29:04,423 --> 01:29:06,592
♪ Of the human race
1345
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:11,221
♪ You're Denton
Denton, U.S.A.
1346
01:29:12,473 --> 01:29:15,142
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1347
01:29:15,225 --> 01:29:18,228
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1348
01:29:18,312 --> 01:29:22,900
♪ We're gonna do it
no matter how the wind is blowing
1349
01:29:22,983 --> 01:29:26,278
- (Engine starts)
- ♪ We're gonna do it anyhow, anyhow
1350
01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:29,365
♪ We're gonna do it anyhow
anyhow
1351
01:29:29,448 --> 01:29:33,702
♪ We're gonna do it
We just gotta keep going
1352
01:29:33,786 --> 01:29:36,372
♪ We just gotta
keep going
1353
01:29:36,455 --> 01:29:39,750
♪ We just gotta
keep going
1354
01:29:44,922 --> 01:29:48,550
(Man narrating) 'The sun never sets
on those who ride into it.
1355
01:29:48,634 --> 01:29:51,220
(All)
♪ We just gotta keep going ♪
1356
01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:55,766
♪ (Rock instrumental)
1357
01:32:20,536 --> 01:32:24,248
♪ I'm not a locum with motive
to suture myself
1358
01:32:24,373 --> 01:32:27,626
♪ I've been a cynic
for too many years
1359
01:32:27,709 --> 01:32:31,547
♪ Playin' doctor and nurse
It can be good for your health
1360
01:32:31,672 --> 01:32:37,135
♪ I've seen clinics with
those gimmicks in Tangiers
1361
01:32:38,595 --> 01:32:43,267
♪ But if you open your heart
to a smooth operator
1362
01:32:43,392 --> 01:32:46,144
♪ He'll take you
for all that you've got
1363
01:32:46,228 --> 01:32:50,023
♪ He'll hand you a curse
that'll be with you later
1364
01:32:50,107 --> 01:32:55,862
♪ It'll shake you the way
he takes off like a shot
1365
01:32:55,946 --> 01:32:59,908
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1366
01:32:59,992 --> 01:33:02,786
♪ Get you jumpin'
like a real live wire
1367
01:33:02,869 --> 01:33:06,999
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1368
01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:10,085
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
1369
01:33:10,168 --> 01:33:13,463
♪ For a vista
that'll mystify ya
1370
01:33:15,465 --> 01:33:19,428
♪ You're blinded by romance
You're blinded by science
1371
01:33:19,511 --> 01:33:22,681
♪ Your condition
is critically grave
1372
01:33:22,764 --> 01:33:26,977
♪ But don't expect mercy
from such an alliance
1373
01:33:27,060 --> 01:33:32,774
♪ Suspicion of tradition's
so new wave
1374
01:33:32,858 --> 01:33:36,653
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1375
01:33:36,737 --> 01:33:39,573
♪ Gets you jumping
like a real live wire
1376
01:33:39,656 --> 01:33:43,744
♪ You need a bit of
ooh, shock treatment
1377
01:33:43,827 --> 01:33:46,913
♪ So look out, mister
Don't you blow your last resistor
1378
01:33:46,997 --> 01:33:49,499
♪ For a sister that'll certify you ♪
(Echoes)
101315
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