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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:56,184 --> 00:00:58,640
Nice night to be born, huh?
3
00:00:59,730 --> 00:01:03,858
Apparently my birth was not
considered a blessed event.
4
00:01:04,026 --> 00:01:08,190
That's me in the basket
and that's my mother carrying me.
5
00:01:12,618 --> 00:01:15,323
And that's my mother...running away.
6
00:01:16,831 --> 00:01:20,615
Well, this can still work out.
Look at this placel
7
00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:22,917
Oh!
8
00:01:23,088 --> 00:01:25,330
Madam!
9
00:01:29,886 --> 00:01:33,303
Aw... aw... aw...
10
00:01:36,936 --> 00:01:42,096
Who on earth would want to abandon
such a wonderful little baby boy?
11
00:01:54,496 --> 00:01:57,165
On the day I was born
12
00:01:57,332 --> 00:01:59,621
The nurses all gathered round
13
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:02,830
They gazed in wild wonder
At the joy they had found...
14
00:02:03,005 --> 00:02:05,081
But I am not dreaming.
15
00:02:05,257 --> 00:02:11,378
One thing I know, and that is that there's
no such thing in the world as a bad boy.
16
00:02:11,555 --> 00:02:13,844
What does he know?
17
00:02:14,016 --> 00:02:18,679
Bad to the bone
Bad to the bone
18
00:02:18,855 --> 00:02:23,102
B- b-b-b bad
B- b-b-b bad
19
00:02:23,735 --> 00:02:25,692
B- b-b-b bad...
20
00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:27,938
What a strange-looking dogl
21
00:02:31,827 --> 00:02:34,033
I'll bet he's hungry.
22
00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:38,581
This looks good.
23
00:02:41,212 --> 00:02:45,375
B- b-b-b bad
B- b-b-b bad...
24
00:02:50,889 --> 00:02:54,009
Diver Dan, Diver Danl Surface, surfacel
25
00:02:58,313 --> 00:03:03,224
I wanna be yours, pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
26
00:03:03,402 --> 00:03:07,530
I'm here to tell ya, honey
I'm bad to the bone...
27
00:03:07,698 --> 00:03:12,407
These are my favourite toys.
Who am I kidding? They're my only toys.
28
00:03:12,578 --> 00:03:14,867
That's my dad.
29
00:03:16,874 --> 00:03:18,997
So you want to play rough, huh?
30
00:03:26,593 --> 00:03:31,504
I was just kiddingl
Oh, nol Not the nuns, not the nunsl
31
00:03:32,432 --> 00:03:36,382
Bad to the bone
B- b-b-b bad
32
00:03:37,229 --> 00:03:38,640
Bad to the bone
33
00:03:38,814 --> 00:03:41,899
Geel I wonder if penguins can flyl
34
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:47,193
Help!
35
00:03:47,365 --> 00:03:50,734
Help!
36
00:03:52,245 --> 00:03:55,412
You see? No one really ever accepted me.
37
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:57,539
Who'd be that caring?
38
00:03:57,709 --> 00:04:00,794
Who'd be that loving? Who'd be that dumb?
39
00:04:02,589 --> 00:04:05,211
Listen to this.
It says here that Henry is a strong name.
40
00:04:05,384 --> 00:04:07,839
He's loyal and loving.
41
00:04:08,012 --> 00:04:12,508
Henry? Hank. Henri. Sounds like a loser.
42
00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:17,096
No, come on, think about it.
Henry, Hank. Hank Aaron, that's a winner.
43
00:04:17,271 --> 00:04:20,438
"How was school today, Hank?"
"Great, Dad!"
44
00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:24,357
- Let's put a star down next to Henry.
- No, I don't like it.
45
00:04:24,529 --> 00:04:29,025
What about Donald? It says
Donald is wealthy and powerful.
46
00:04:29,201 --> 00:04:31,158
That's the kind of kid I want.
47
00:04:31,328 --> 00:04:33,997
I'll be happy no matter how he turns out.
48
00:04:34,164 --> 00:04:37,829
- He'll be our child.
- It won't hurt if he's chairman of the board.
49
00:04:38,002 --> 00:04:40,493
So, when is your child due?
50
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:44,835
I'm not really pregnant yet.
We're just planning ahead.
51
00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:47,085
A little wishful thinking never hurt anyone.
52
00:04:49,097 --> 00:04:52,881
Here at the clinic we pride ourselves
on a 99%% success rate.
53
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:54,933
- Little Henry Healy.
- Donald.
54
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:57,890
Unfortunately, there is that other 1%%.
55
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:01,730
And you're it.
I'm sorry, but the test came back positive.
56
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:05,353
- Positive, that's good.
- No, positive is bad.
57
00:05:05,531 --> 00:05:07,772
No, positive is good, negative is bad.
58
00:05:07,950 --> 00:05:11,948
No, negative is good.
You see, you are positively infertile.
59
00:05:12,121 --> 00:05:15,537
You mean we've been doing it
every night for nothing?
60
00:05:17,168 --> 00:05:18,959
Let me explain.
61
00:05:19,128 --> 00:05:21,168
This is your uterus.
62
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:25,166
That purple thing is your cervix.
63
00:05:25,343 --> 00:05:29,388
These green things are your fallopian tubes
and this...
64
00:05:29,556 --> 00:05:32,129
That's not supposed to happen.
Toss me that.
65
00:05:32,309 --> 00:05:37,434
This yellow thing is your ovary.
Fits right in there like that.
66
00:05:37,606 --> 00:05:40,393
Well, you know what? It doesn't matter.
67
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:45,194
You don't even have a yellow thing
and your green thing is brown.
68
00:05:45,364 --> 00:05:50,192
- Doctor, are you sure there's no hope?
- None whatsoever.
69
00:05:50,370 --> 00:05:53,869
But there are alternatives
to having your own child.
70
00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,575
I tried to like it at the orphanage
71
00:05:58,753 --> 00:06:02,372
but then I became interested in photography.
72
00:06:05,385 --> 00:06:08,303
After that, things kind of went downhill.
73
00:06:15,479 --> 00:06:19,014
Eat all of your stew, children.
74
00:06:19,192 --> 00:06:23,901
A growing body needs nutrition.
And discipline.
75
00:06:24,072 --> 00:06:27,820
If it's so nutritious,
how come I don't see you eating it?
76
00:06:27,993 --> 00:06:31,278
- Aw, Junior!
- Junior!
77
00:06:37,753 --> 00:06:42,498
I was never really sure which one I got,
nutrition or discipline.
78
00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:58,097
- What do they put in this stuff?
- Junior, please don't get us in trouble again.
79
00:07:05,157 --> 00:07:08,241
Who are they kidding?
80
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,211
Junior!
81
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,252
What happened to your lunch?
82
00:07:21,424 --> 00:07:24,591
It was so delicious I just gobbled it all up!
83
00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:37,100
I can't believe it. For once,
you behaved yourself. Thank you, Lord!
84
00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:50,370
Hey, lady, hands off the merchandise!
I gotta hear out of that thing!
85
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,910
Ow...!
86
00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:59,245
All right, mister, you know the routine.
Start mopping.
87
00:07:59,422 --> 00:08:01,462
Sister, I'm all packed to go.
88
00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:07,090
There's my favourite little boy.
I'm going to miss you so much.
89
00:08:07,264 --> 00:08:09,470
Miss him? Where's he going?
90
00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:15,395
Haven't you heard? I'm getting adopted. I got
a new mommy and daddy and they're so nice.
91
00:08:15,564 --> 00:08:18,102
- Really?
- Yes.
92
00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:22,060
Good little boys get good homes.
93
00:08:22,238 --> 00:08:26,022
Bad little boys get something else.
94
00:08:27,368 --> 00:08:32,659
Big deal. If you have to be a creep
like Freddy, I don't want a family.
95
00:08:38,922 --> 00:08:43,051
...a man described as evil incarnate,
a man called "the fiend of the century".
96
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:45,176
Where are my cartoons?
97
00:08:45,346 --> 00:08:47,504
They did me wrongl They had it comingl
98
00:08:47,681 --> 00:08:50,054
- All 34?
- You bet they didl
99
00:08:50,226 --> 00:08:54,140
This guy's pretty popular.
He's on every channel.
100
00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:59,981
Since he escaped, residents of the bordering
states have been afraid to leave their home.
101
00:09:00,153 --> 00:09:04,566
Beck, known infamously as the Bow Tie
Killer, was recaptured this afternoon
102
00:09:04,741 --> 00:09:08,027
and is now on his way back to federal prison.
103
00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:11,204
I'm not a bad guyl I'm just misunderstoodl
104
00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:13,449
Nobody cares about me but mel
105
00:09:13,626 --> 00:09:15,951
What a good-looking guy.
106
00:09:16,128 --> 00:09:21,799
Because of this attempted prison break,
Beck would have to serve additional time.
107
00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:28,220
When he is returned to the federal prison,
Beck will be placed under...
108
00:09:43,741 --> 00:09:45,864
Do you see him?
109
00:09:46,035 --> 00:09:48,193
There's our boy!
110
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:52,660
Oh, honey!
111
00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:56,118
You guys, I'm so excited!
112
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,181
Have a good day, honey.
113
00:10:12,354 --> 00:10:16,684
Why don't you take a look at this adoption
literature? We can talk about it tonight.
114
00:10:16,859 --> 00:10:21,651
Why don't you? I don't wear second-hand
clothes and I won't have a second-hand kid.
115
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:24,740
- Adoption is out!
- OK, all right.
116
00:10:26,703 --> 00:10:27,734
Fine.
117
00:10:28,580 --> 00:10:33,325
Welcome to Big Ben's,
the sporting goods store that has everything.
118
00:10:33,501 --> 00:10:37,831
Sporting goods
made by Americans for Americans.
119
00:10:38,006 --> 00:10:41,625
My fellow Americans,
don't forget to vote for Big Ben for Mayorl
120
00:10:41,802 --> 00:10:45,669
- Mister, do you work here?
- I sure do. How can I help you?
121
00:10:45,848 --> 00:10:48,683
I'm looking for a canteen
with a compass on it.
122
00:10:48,851 --> 00:10:51,472
I saw your commercial
and they said you have everything.
123
00:10:51,646 --> 00:10:56,107
You bet we do. This is Big Ben's.
We got canteens 365 days a year.
124
00:10:56,275 --> 00:10:59,645
- Which one of these can I fix you up with?
- This blue one.
125
00:10:59,821 --> 00:11:04,282
- Hey, sport, where did you run off to?
- This man was helping me find my canteen.
126
00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:09,872
I hope Hank wasn't bothering you. He's
excited about this camping trip we're going on.
127
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:15,497
- You two must have a lot of fun together.
- These little rascals make life worth living.
128
00:11:15,671 --> 00:11:18,376
What the heck else are we here for, partner?
129
00:11:18,549 --> 00:11:20,043
Let's go!
130
00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:22,887
- Did you get what you wanted?
- Yeah.
131
00:11:23,054 --> 00:11:25,971
- Thanks a lot, buddy.
- My pleasure.
132
00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:28,596
- Little Benl
- What?
133
00:11:28,768 --> 00:11:32,552
Get your little butt in here.
I got a big surprise for you.
134
00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:37,607
That's right,
Big Ben's is 100 per cent American.
135
00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:41,105
I'm selling the store to the Japs.
136
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:42,776
I... I...
137
00:11:42,991 --> 00:11:47,784
- What? Thought I was gonna leave it to you?
- Yes.
138
00:11:47,955 --> 00:11:51,823
Well, I'm not.
I'm selling to the Hirohito Corporation.
139
00:11:53,377 --> 00:11:55,785
I still get the land, right, Dad?
140
00:11:55,963 --> 00:11:58,371
No, you won't. No, no.
141
00:11:58,549 --> 00:12:01,467
I'm selling that too.
Everything from here to the river.
142
00:12:01,636 --> 00:12:05,136
What? Dad! I can't believe this.
143
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:10,467
I slaved for you for over ten years
without even a raise or a promotion.
144
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,722
Is there a lesson to be learned?
145
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,519
- A lesson?
- Don't trust anyone.
146
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:19,441
- Not even your own father?
- Especially your own father.
147
00:12:19,613 --> 00:12:21,606
You're too nice.
148
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:27,536
I expected a little back-stabbing from you,
some ruthless scrambling to get to the top,
149
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:31,454
but you stubbornly refuse
to follow my example.
150
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,835
Today's my birthday.
Look what they gave me.
151
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:41,385
Junior!
152
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:45,847
Junior! What is taking you so long?
153
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:50,346
- We start serving dinner in 20 minutes.
- I only got two hands.
154
00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:55,183
I want these pots so shiny
I can see my face in them!
155
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,399
This one kind of looks like you.
156
00:12:57,570 --> 00:13:00,322
All right, now you're gonna pay for it.
157
00:13:05,912 --> 00:13:09,328
- Junior!
- Yikes! A penguin in a pot!
158
00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:11,741
Help!
159
00:13:16,965 --> 00:13:20,216
I wonder if they want me to do the floorl
160
00:13:30,104 --> 00:13:32,560
Junior!
161
00:13:36,569 --> 00:13:40,318
OK, kids, huddle up.
Now, listen, we got three more innings.
162
00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:43,527
Remember, if we win we all get ice cream.
163
00:13:43,702 --> 00:13:45,196
Yeah!
164
00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:49,285
And if we lose...
What the hay, we'll have ice cream anyway.
165
00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:52,874
Go take the field. I'm proud of you!
Look mean out there.
166
00:13:53,713 --> 00:13:56,630
Little Ben.
Can I talk to you for a second?
167
00:13:56,799 --> 00:14:00,299
I don't care how many runs you score.
We're not gonna forfeit.
168
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:04,420
No! I don't care about this game.
We got this thing won already!
169
00:14:04,599 --> 00:14:08,015
I just came over to share my happiness
with you, Little Ben.
170
00:14:08,186 --> 00:14:11,187
Harriet had a sonogram. Take a look.
171
00:14:11,356 --> 00:14:13,812
- What is that?
- It's a boy!
172
00:14:13,984 --> 00:14:15,478
Congratulations.
173
00:14:15,652 --> 00:14:18,819
- I got one of these for you. Open up.
- I don't smoke.
174
00:14:18,989 --> 00:14:21,611
Come on, open up. Open up!
175
00:14:25,079 --> 00:14:28,246
It's a home run for the Chieftainsl
176
00:14:28,416 --> 00:14:31,915
What do you know? Another home run.
177
00:14:32,086 --> 00:14:34,245
Way to go, Gary!
178
00:14:40,220 --> 00:14:42,676
Will you all please quiet down? Be quiet!
179
00:14:44,808 --> 00:14:48,094
Ladies, please, can you please quiet down?
180
00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:54,352
Can you quiet down?
Can you act like nuns?!
181
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,986
OK.
182
00:14:56,153 --> 00:14:58,858
Now, there's absolutely no proof
183
00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:02,531
that Junior was in any way
connected with today's tragedy.
184
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:06,747
- Who needs proof? He's evil!
- Look what he did in art class! Skeletons!
185
00:15:06,915 --> 00:15:09,370
- Headless corpses.
- Monsters devouring human flesh.
186
00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:11,167
All right, look!
187
00:15:11,336 --> 00:15:15,915
I don't claim to be some kind
of brilliant psychologist. I'm not.
188
00:15:16,091 --> 00:15:20,634
All I'm saying is
maybe all the child needs is to be loved.
189
00:15:20,804 --> 00:15:23,378
Let's cut the crap, Mr Peabody!
190
00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:27,638
Either Junior goes
or you find yourself some new nuns.
191
00:15:27,812 --> 00:15:32,889
No, no, please, don't hyperventilate.
Just take a deep breath and relax.
192
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:37,860
The only way we can straighten this out
is by hearing what Junior has to say.
193
00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:50,034
I'm sorry, sisters.
194
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:54,043
Please, please don't make me
lift those heavy stones
195
00:15:54,215 --> 00:15:57,085
and please don't make me
scrub those dirty toilets.
196
00:15:57,260 --> 00:16:00,510
I just want to be a good boy. I promise!
197
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,847
You see that? He said he's sorry.
198
00:16:04,017 --> 00:16:09,438
Please, give me another chance. I just want
to learn my lessons and do my studies.
199
00:16:09,606 --> 00:16:12,144
So I can be smart and become a priest!
200
00:16:12,317 --> 00:16:15,069
There! You see that? A priest!
201
00:16:15,237 --> 00:16:17,562
A priest! It's like a nun with a jacket.
202
00:16:17,739 --> 00:16:21,405
It's a boy nun! He wants to be a boy nun.
203
00:16:21,577 --> 00:16:26,239
Let me tell you something.
It takes a big man to admit his mistakes.
204
00:16:26,415 --> 00:16:28,455
And there is a big man!
205
00:16:28,626 --> 00:16:33,668
It is in the opinion of myself
and my agency of which I represent
206
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,505
that Junior will not be removed
from this orphanage.
207
00:16:37,677 --> 00:16:40,382
Removed? What do you mean, removed?
208
00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:42,014
Don't worry about it.
209
00:16:42,182 --> 00:16:47,307
The nuns made a suggestion you might
be happier outside of the orphanage.
210
00:16:50,441 --> 00:16:53,358
- What's so funny?
- You are, you stupid dick.
211
00:16:54,570 --> 00:16:55,815
He's wicked!
212
00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:59,938
You're not saying you'd rather not be
in the orphanage, are you?
213
00:17:00,117 --> 00:17:03,985
Think much, pea brain? I want out!
214
00:17:04,163 --> 00:17:07,330
You see, Mr Peabody?
The child is incorrigible!
215
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,371
I'm what? Why don't you speak English, lady?
216
00:17:10,545 --> 00:17:12,538
Look, maybe...
217
00:17:12,714 --> 00:17:16,415
- Uh, maybe...
- What the child is trying to say is...
218
00:17:16,593 --> 00:17:22,632
Maybe if I shrug and move my hands like this,
people will think I know what I'm talking about.
219
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:26,806
It's obvious that the kid's unbalanced.
I knew that from the start.
220
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:30,644
I was playing devil's advocate.
Devil, you know...
221
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,936
Anyway, on behalf of myself and the agency,
222
00:17:34,112 --> 00:17:39,319
this child is going to be removed
from this orphanage as soon as possible!
223
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:44,119
Well, hurry the hell up!
I'm not getting any younger!
224
00:17:59,388 --> 00:18:05,178
There's Ed and Sally and little Joey going
into the Whites'. There must be a party.
225
00:18:05,353 --> 00:18:11,189
Look at her dress. That's a new...
I've looked all over for shoes like that.
226
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:15,986
- Wonder why we weren't invited.
- Same reason we weren't invited to the rest.
227
00:18:16,156 --> 00:18:18,647
You can't go to a kids' party without a kid.
228
00:18:19,618 --> 00:18:24,494
Being a parent is power and once you're
in that circle you keep everyone else out.
229
00:18:24,665 --> 00:18:30,668
Flo, being a parent is about sharing.
It's about a mom, a dad and a kid.
230
00:18:30,838 --> 00:18:36,213
Except there isn't going to be a kid, Ben.
It's just you and me forever.
231
00:18:40,849 --> 00:18:44,384
- Why can't we adopt?
- We've been through this!
232
00:18:44,561 --> 00:18:49,270
I know, but we have so much love to give.
Why waste it on these stupid pets?
233
00:18:49,441 --> 00:18:51,849
They are not stupid!
234
00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:53,735
Hello!
235
00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:58,732
Think of it this way. All those mothers
had to make do with what nature gave them.
236
00:18:58,909 --> 00:19:02,694
You and I get to pick out our kid.
It'll be like shopping.
237
00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:05,908
- Shopping?
- Uh-huh.
238
00:19:06,084 --> 00:19:09,784
But the neighbours will know we've adopted.
What'll they say?
239
00:19:09,963 --> 00:19:13,249
The neighbours? They'll say, "Look!"
240
00:19:13,425 --> 00:19:18,301
"There's Ben and Flo Healy going out to
yet another birthday party with their new son!"
241
00:19:18,472 --> 00:19:20,761
"Isn't he adorable?"
242
00:19:20,933 --> 00:19:24,717
"And look at how fantastic Flo looks
in her new dress!"
243
00:19:24,895 --> 00:19:28,181
"Where did she get a bag
to match those shoes?"
244
00:19:28,357 --> 00:19:32,521
Then they'll say,
"Let's invite that Healy family over for dinner."
245
00:19:32,695 --> 00:19:35,317
Oh, Ben, dinners!
246
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:38,242
OK, let's get a kid.
247
00:19:38,576 --> 00:19:41,661
Hurry up, students.
Five more minutes for your pen-pals.
248
00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:44,582
Then we have to work on our times tables.
249
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:51,327
Dear Queen Elizabeth, how is England?
It must be nice to be a queen.
250
00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:54,294
Dear Bishop Tutu, how are you?
251
00:19:54,468 --> 00:19:58,513
I am fine. I hope everything's going
well with your marching.
252
00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,923
Dear Bow Tie Killer, how's prison?
253
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:06,095
There's a nice picture of you on the front
page that I'm gonna add to my collection.
254
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:11,647
Even though we've never met, I feel we have
a lot in common. Nobody understands us.
255
00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:15,948
I'm still wearing a bow tie
so I can look just like you.
256
00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:21,537
After all these letters, I've got good news.
I'm getting out. Isn't that great?
257
00:20:21,705 --> 00:20:24,908
Your number one fan, Junior.
258
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:36,679
Smoke.
259
00:20:43,019 --> 00:20:44,395
Sir.
260
00:20:45,772 --> 00:20:50,019
Sir, sorry to disturb you
but this letter came for you.
261
00:20:54,657 --> 00:20:57,278
Read this to me.
262
00:20:57,451 --> 00:21:00,073
Hey, it's a letter from JR.
263
00:21:00,246 --> 00:21:04,030
Yeah? Someday
we're gonna meet up on the outside.
264
00:21:04,208 --> 00:21:07,079
We're gonna do some serious damage.
265
00:21:07,253 --> 00:21:09,578
"Good news, I'm getting out."
266
00:21:09,756 --> 00:21:14,881
What? He's getting paroled?
They gotta be out of their minds!
267
00:21:15,053 --> 00:21:17,509
You know that guy?
He's crazier than I am.
268
00:21:17,681 --> 00:21:19,674
Chill. The warden!
269
00:21:20,475 --> 00:21:26,348
Well, well! If it isn't our model prisoner,
looking so pretty today in his little bow tie!
270
00:21:26,523 --> 00:21:28,730
Hey, warden! Catch!
271
00:21:32,697 --> 00:21:36,742
I hope I'm not rushing you.
We can always let nature take its course.
272
00:21:36,909 --> 00:21:40,954
Nature screwed us over.
Let's give commerce a try.
273
00:21:42,832 --> 00:21:48,289
Let's see what I can do. You want a kid
you could love, I'll put you on the waiting list.
274
00:21:48,463 --> 00:21:50,919
You should have a kid in seven years.
275
00:21:51,091 --> 00:21:53,416
- Seven years?
- Unless...
276
00:21:53,594 --> 00:21:58,055
Nah, nah, I didn't say a word.
I did not say a word.
277
00:21:58,224 --> 00:22:01,343
No, what? What were you gonna say?
278
00:22:01,519 --> 00:22:07,106
Well, I really put my foot in my mouth this time
but, I don't know, I like you two.
279
00:22:07,275 --> 00:22:12,270
I like the two of you and when I like
two people, I want to help them out.
280
00:22:12,447 --> 00:22:17,193
That's just my nature.
I want to help out people that I like.
281
00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:21,497
Just this morning
I came upon a seven-year-old.
282
00:22:21,665 --> 00:22:26,826
Smart as a tack, a little rambunctious
but weren't we all at that age?
283
00:22:28,422 --> 00:22:31,293
I think I even have a photo here for you.
284
00:22:32,093 --> 00:22:34,381
He does look presentable in that bow tie.
285
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:36,262
Adorable!
286
00:22:36,431 --> 00:22:41,306
I don't know. Seven is rather old. I wanted
people to think I had the baby myself.
287
00:22:41,477 --> 00:22:46,021
That's understandable. A lot of women
feel that way. You want a cute little infant.
288
00:22:46,191 --> 00:22:49,145
One that will scream
in the middle of the night
289
00:22:49,319 --> 00:22:54,396
and you'll have to stumble downstairs
in the dark and change his soiled diapers.
290
00:22:54,575 --> 00:22:57,410
You'll do your housework, eat chocolates,
291
00:22:57,578 --> 00:23:01,362
take care of the kid
and you'll put on 50 or 60 pounds.
292
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:02,572
No diapers?
293
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:06,084
You like to sleep late.
There'd be no baby waking you up.
294
00:23:06,254 --> 00:23:11,758
We could skip all that baby junk
and move right into the good stuff like...
295
00:23:11,926 --> 00:23:14,548
...parties and more parties!
296
00:23:14,721 --> 00:23:17,046
I could be president of the PTA by September!
297
00:23:17,224 --> 00:23:21,767
- Fuzzball will have someone to play with.
- Yes! Fuzzball's our cat.
298
00:23:21,937 --> 00:23:25,851
I can't believe it! Junior, he loves cats.
299
00:23:26,024 --> 00:23:28,812
Do you hear that? Let's do it.
300
00:23:28,986 --> 00:23:31,821
Mr Peabody, you've got yourself a deal.
301
00:23:31,989 --> 00:23:33,982
And you've got yourself a kid.
302
00:23:41,165 --> 00:23:44,582
Here he comes. Flo, that's our son.
303
00:23:46,630 --> 00:23:49,465
Can you believe it? That's our boy.
304
00:23:49,633 --> 00:23:53,333
He's very handsome.
I'll be the envy of the neighbourhood.
305
00:23:53,512 --> 00:23:56,429
They look like a couple of yahoos.
306
00:23:59,810 --> 00:24:00,841
Hi!
307
00:24:02,146 --> 00:24:03,640
I think I'm gonna cry.
308
00:24:03,814 --> 00:24:06,981
You ever seen a grown man
wear so much blue?
309
00:24:07,151 --> 00:24:09,689
Hey there, little buddy.
310
00:24:09,862 --> 00:24:13,232
I'm Ben, this is Flo. Put it there, partner.
311
00:24:13,408 --> 00:24:16,575
My name's Junior. My favourite
colour's blue. What's yours?
312
00:24:18,163 --> 00:24:21,532
My favourite colour's blue, too.
Can you believe...?
313
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:25,124
He's perfect. He's wonderful. Come here.
314
00:24:25,295 --> 00:24:28,499
Thank you, sisters, goodbye. Goodbye, kids!
315
00:24:28,674 --> 00:24:31,426
Bye, everybody! Don't forget to write!
316
00:24:38,017 --> 00:24:41,932
We got the pick of the litter.
Everyone's come out to see him off.
317
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:05,284
Here we are! Isn't this exciting?
318
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:10,041
Right, everybody out.
This is gonna be so great!
319
00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:16,303
OK, now, everybody over by the house.
This is Junior's first day at his new home.
320
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:18,882
OK, I want everyone over. Come on.
321
00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:23,105
Junior, put your suitcase down here.
Darling, I want you to hug him.
322
00:25:23,273 --> 00:25:26,358
A lot of teeth. I want everybody to be happy.
323
00:25:26,527 --> 00:25:30,359
- Smile and say, "cheese doodles!"
- Cheese doodles!
324
00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:33,069
That's great, that's terrific.
325
00:25:33,242 --> 00:25:38,153
How come you adopted me?
How come you just didn't have a baby?
326
00:25:38,331 --> 00:25:40,786
Well, gee...
327
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:45,003
With a baby, you never know
what you're getting. It could be a dud.
328
00:25:45,171 --> 00:25:47,544
But with you there's no surprise.
329
00:25:47,716 --> 00:25:50,503
- Mr Peabody told us how terrific you are.
- He did?
330
00:25:50,677 --> 00:25:55,386
Sure. He said that you were voted
most popular orphan two years in a row.
331
00:25:55,557 --> 00:25:57,846
That was smart of him.
332
00:25:59,311 --> 00:26:04,306
- In we go.
- Wow. This is a great house.
333
00:26:04,483 --> 00:26:07,817
We're going to keep it neat and clean,
aren't we?
334
00:26:13,034 --> 00:26:15,406
I hope you guys are insured.
335
00:26:17,205 --> 00:26:22,081
And you have a cat. Here, kitty-kitty.
336
00:26:22,252 --> 00:26:27,128
No, Junior, make nice with kitty.
Only pet her this way.
337
00:26:27,299 --> 00:26:30,502
I've never seen Fuzzball act like that.
338
00:26:30,678 --> 00:26:33,797
Junior, come here. I want you to meet Polly.
339
00:26:33,973 --> 00:26:38,931
- Polly, say hello to Junior.
- Hello. Hello.
340
00:26:39,103 --> 00:26:41,641
Is that the only word he knows?
341
00:26:41,814 --> 00:26:45,266
- Yes. I want to show you the house.
- Uh-oh!
342
00:26:47,278 --> 00:26:51,228
- Do I get my own bed?
- This is the big time! You get your own room!
343
00:26:51,408 --> 00:26:54,741
- Wow!
- I hope you like clowns.
344
00:26:58,916 --> 00:27:01,323
Oh, my God. They're retarded.
345
00:27:02,336 --> 00:27:04,412
So, what do you think, big guy?
346
00:27:04,588 --> 00:27:08,171
Well, there sure are a lot of clowns.
347
00:27:10,970 --> 00:27:15,928
That must be your new grandpa. You stay
here. We'll give old gramps a big surprise.
348
00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:17,476
Sh!
349
00:27:24,985 --> 00:27:27,024
Dad, are we glad to see you.
350
00:27:27,195 --> 00:27:30,695
What's this big surprise
you dragged me over here for?
351
00:27:30,866 --> 00:27:34,366
Well, Dad, here's a hint.
352
00:27:35,746 --> 00:27:39,032
Oh, my God.
353
00:27:39,208 --> 00:27:41,082
Finally.
354
00:27:41,836 --> 00:27:46,083
You've both cooked up a cute little kid
for my campaign!
355
00:27:46,257 --> 00:27:50,302
I thought you were getting fatter, Mama!
When's my little grandson due?
356
00:27:50,470 --> 00:27:55,013
- Fatter?
- No, Dad. Florence is not gonna have a baby.
357
00:27:55,726 --> 00:27:57,552
You rascal, you!
358
00:27:57,728 --> 00:28:02,805
You followed my advice and took your sperm
to somebody who knows what to do with it,
359
00:28:02,983 --> 00:28:04,228
a surrogate mother.
360
00:28:04,401 --> 00:28:10,487
Tell me something. Do you make out with
a cup or do you get to bump a real live one?
361
00:28:10,658 --> 00:28:12,485
No, Dad, we adopted.
362
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:15,032
Are you insane?
363
00:28:16,331 --> 00:28:18,738
I thought you'd be happy. Come on.
364
00:28:18,917 --> 00:28:21,871
You don't know
what you're letting yourself in for.
365
00:28:22,045 --> 00:28:24,714
Dopehead mothers. Garbage blood.
366
00:28:24,881 --> 00:28:28,001
His parents may have met in a loony bin.
They might be Democrats.
367
00:28:28,176 --> 00:28:32,969
He's a beautiful kid. Once you meet him,
you'll love him like your very own.
368
00:28:33,140 --> 00:28:37,802
I would like to proudly present the newest
member of the Healy family, Junior!
369
00:28:39,188 --> 00:28:41,062
No! Junior!
370
00:28:41,232 --> 00:28:44,019
That's a thousand-dollar coat!
371
00:28:44,193 --> 00:28:47,479
- Junior, are you in here?
- Junior!
372
00:28:47,655 --> 00:28:51,274
Oh, my God. It's the devil.
373
00:28:51,451 --> 00:28:54,951
- Buddy, are you OK?
- Yeah, just a little smoky.
374
00:28:56,915 --> 00:29:00,995
Look, here's the problem.
This clown must have shorted out.
375
00:29:01,170 --> 00:29:04,669
Sparks were coming out of his nose.
I was so scared.
376
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,459
- Little punk is lying.
- Dad!
377
00:29:08,636 --> 00:29:12,848
I hope you kept the damn receipt.
You got one bad seed there.
378
00:29:13,015 --> 00:29:16,965
He can hear you. You'll hurt his feelings.
It was just an accident.
379
00:29:17,145 --> 00:29:20,846
- Accident! Get rid of him.
- We've made our decision.
380
00:29:21,024 --> 00:29:25,069
OK, but it's the last time
I set foot in this house.
381
00:29:35,247 --> 00:29:37,323
Come on, boys.
382
00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:40,501
- Get back.
- What's happening?
383
00:29:40,670 --> 00:29:43,291
Get rid of that kid!
384
00:29:44,632 --> 00:29:47,966
- Get rid of him.
- Easy!
385
00:29:49,053 --> 00:29:51,805
Get rid of that kid!
386
00:29:57,020 --> 00:30:00,354
Poor Fuzzball. She'll never be the same.
387
00:30:00,524 --> 00:30:02,184
Are you ser...
388
00:30:02,359 --> 00:30:05,859
Is that all you can think of
is your stupid cat?
389
00:30:06,030 --> 00:30:12,033
What about the fact that Father's on his way
to the hospital? Or Junior's traumatic first day?
390
00:30:12,203 --> 00:30:14,279
Did you think about the poor boy?
391
00:30:14,455 --> 00:30:16,448
He must feel horrible.
392
00:30:18,668 --> 00:30:21,289
Yeah, but this might make me feel better.
393
00:30:22,339 --> 00:30:25,957
Fifty, sixty, seventy...
394
00:30:32,683 --> 00:30:34,841
I see a furry bunny.
395
00:30:36,228 --> 00:30:41,603
A furry bunny is running
through delicate white snowflakes.
396
00:30:41,776 --> 00:30:44,397
He's lying. That's not what he sees.
397
00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:48,948
I'm sorry, I'm conducting an examination.
Now what do you see, Martin?
398
00:30:49,117 --> 00:30:51,655
I see a meadow. Pink flowers.
399
00:30:51,828 --> 00:30:57,202
He's lying again. How can he see pink? It's
a black and white picture. There is no pink.
400
00:30:57,375 --> 00:31:00,745
Warden, if you don't stop,
I'll have to ask you to leave.
401
00:31:00,921 --> 00:31:02,830
There is no pink.
402
00:31:05,134 --> 00:31:07,886
I see white fluffy clouds...
403
00:31:08,053 --> 00:31:11,339
No, you don't!
You see murder! You see guts!
404
00:31:11,515 --> 00:31:13,722
I'm going to ask you to leave!
405
00:31:13,893 --> 00:31:17,392
Those damn liberal laws!
Don't you understand? He sees blood!
406
00:31:17,563 --> 00:31:19,640
No, that's what you see.
407
00:31:22,277 --> 00:31:25,064
I am so sorry about that, Martin.
408
00:31:25,989 --> 00:31:29,904
Now, let's get back
to our examination. Shall we?
409
00:31:30,077 --> 00:31:32,034
What do you see in this one?
410
00:31:32,204 --> 00:31:34,777
I see...
411
00:31:34,957 --> 00:31:36,831
...blood!
412
00:31:43,174 --> 00:31:47,172
- Doc, how did it go with the star patient?
- Oh, that guy.
413
00:31:47,345 --> 00:31:50,512
There's a few bricks missing from his building.
414
00:32:21,297 --> 00:32:25,295
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Nothing.
415
00:32:25,468 --> 00:32:26,797
Gosh, what happened here?
416
00:32:26,970 --> 00:32:31,881
I was looking for some paper
to write a get-well note to Big Ben.
417
00:32:32,059 --> 00:32:36,768
That's very thoughtful, Junior,
but these are Mom's private drawers.
418
00:32:36,939 --> 00:32:40,984
You shouldn't go in there. It's where
she keeps her needlepoint and crochet.
419
00:32:52,580 --> 00:32:57,373
I'm really sorry, Mr Healy.
I was scared being all alone in my room.
420
00:32:59,171 --> 00:33:01,294
Of course.
421
00:33:01,465 --> 00:33:06,174
I understand why you're scared.
This is your first night in your new home.
422
00:33:06,345 --> 00:33:09,928
It's gonna take some getting used to, isn't it?
423
00:33:10,099 --> 00:33:16,303
You know, Junior, I'm a little scared myself.
This is my first night being a dad.
424
00:33:16,481 --> 00:33:20,478
- You'll learn quick enough.
- Learn what?
425
00:33:20,652 --> 00:33:24,780
What it's like to be a dad.
Then you'll get rid of me.
426
00:33:25,824 --> 00:33:31,245
Get rid of you? Junior. We're never
gonna get rid of you. You're here forever.
427
00:33:31,413 --> 00:33:34,034
We're gonna do everything together.
428
00:33:34,208 --> 00:33:37,908
We'll ride bikes, go fishing, play catch.
429
00:33:38,087 --> 00:33:41,538
I want to be a good dad.
I want to be a great dad.
430
00:33:41,715 --> 00:33:43,091
You know what?
431
00:33:43,259 --> 00:33:45,750
I will never be too busy to sit down
432
00:33:45,928 --> 00:33:50,674
and listen to what's on my son's mind
over a cup of hot cocoa.
433
00:33:57,274 --> 00:34:01,224
Hey, sleepyhead. Y'all ready to go camping?
434
00:34:01,403 --> 00:34:05,068
I was planning on watching cartoons.
435
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,399
Don't be such a noodle.
436
00:34:07,576 --> 00:34:12,950
When I was your age, your grandfather
was always too busy to take me camping.
437
00:34:13,124 --> 00:34:15,366
You are a lucky duck.
438
00:34:15,543 --> 00:34:18,710
Ben! Bring him.
439
00:34:19,672 --> 00:34:25,462
- Come here, I want you to meet someone.
- Mrs Henderson! And little Miss Lucy!
440
00:34:25,637 --> 00:34:27,713
What a nice surprise!
441
00:34:27,889 --> 00:34:33,975
We heard about your little accident and
we thought this fruitcake might cheer you up.
442
00:34:34,855 --> 00:34:37,013
Thank you!
443
00:34:37,191 --> 00:34:40,607
I would like you to meet my son Junior.
444
00:34:40,778 --> 00:34:43,862
- Pleased to meet you, ladies.
- Oh, my!
445
00:34:44,031 --> 00:34:47,235
He's a perfect little gentleman. Isn't he, Lucy?
446
00:34:47,410 --> 00:34:49,237
He's so big.
447
00:34:49,412 --> 00:34:53,789
Yesterday they didn't even have a kid
and now they have a seven-year-old.
448
00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:56,331
That's gross.
449
00:34:56,503 --> 00:35:00,631
- I don't want him at my party.
- Lucy.
450
00:35:00,799 --> 00:35:06,469
But, Mother, he dresses like the man
that cremated Uncle Leo.
451
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:09,176
Lucy's turning six this week
452
00:35:09,350 --> 00:35:13,810
but I don't think we'll have a clown this year.
453
00:35:13,979 --> 00:35:17,514
Or balloons. Or ice cream.
454
00:35:19,777 --> 00:35:26,030
I'm having a birthday party Saturday.
I think it would be nice if you came.
455
00:35:30,247 --> 00:35:34,743
We'll see you Saturday at two.
Come on, Lucy, get in the car.
456
00:35:34,918 --> 00:35:39,794
- Thanks. I'll return the lovely platter.
- Thanks again.
457
00:35:39,965 --> 00:35:43,797
We have finally been accepted.
This parent crap is really paying off.
458
00:35:43,969 --> 00:35:48,382
It's a dream come true. A birthday party.
Now we're going camping with our son.
459
00:35:48,558 --> 00:35:52,935
Not me. I'm going to buy a dress
for the party. Give me some money.
460
00:35:53,104 --> 00:35:56,853
- You're not going camping with us?
- Not on your life.
461
00:35:57,025 --> 00:35:59,267
OK.
462
00:35:59,444 --> 00:36:01,271
Junior! This gives me an idea.
463
00:36:01,446 --> 00:36:06,073
I don't see why my son
shouldn't be getting his own allowance.
464
00:36:06,243 --> 00:36:08,568
- What do you say?
- All right!
465
00:36:08,746 --> 00:36:13,455
This is gonna give you a good opportunity
to learn to manage money.
466
00:36:14,460 --> 00:36:16,666
How do you manage a buck?
467
00:36:16,837 --> 00:36:21,500
Come on, Mr Molasses, let's go. We're late.
468
00:36:29,392 --> 00:36:32,393
Neat! Bears!
469
00:36:32,562 --> 00:36:36,809
Don't worry, buddy,
bears rarely attack unless provoked.
470
00:36:36,984 --> 00:36:40,519
Let's keep our eyes peeled for camp site 32.
471
00:36:40,696 --> 00:36:42,772
That's the one Roy reserved especially for us.
472
00:36:44,950 --> 00:36:49,577
Nice spot your friend reserved
especially for us, Mr Healy
473
00:36:49,747 --> 00:36:54,623
- This is nature, huh? The sky, the trees?
- The toilets.
474
00:36:54,794 --> 00:37:00,584
You're not gonna see the sunset over there.
Come on over, watch on our river-bank.
475
00:37:00,759 --> 00:37:03,001
I'd tell him to shove it, Mr Healy.
476
00:37:03,178 --> 00:37:08,136
It's no big deal. More important,
why don't you call me Dad? I'd really like that.
477
00:37:08,308 --> 00:37:11,428
I want to go home and watch TV.
478
00:37:11,603 --> 00:37:14,059
TV? What's TV compared to the...
479
00:37:14,231 --> 00:37:17,149
...to the call of the wild bobolink,
and that spruce?
480
00:37:19,987 --> 00:37:22,313
That's a pretty big bobolink.
481
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:28,077
Old MacDonald had a farm
E- i-e-i-o...
482
00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:32,290
Hey, Little Ben.
483
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:37,002
- Kids, the wienies are almost done!
- Yeah!
484
00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:39,461
I don't believe this.
485
00:37:39,633 --> 00:37:45,257
Those are Roy's kids. They're sharing a brain.
The one on the end has it today.
486
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:51,645
Little Ben. Come here, inside.
Get in here, come on.
487
00:37:53,815 --> 00:37:58,940
- How does it feel, camping with your son?
- Roy, it's great. It's a dream come true.
488
00:37:59,112 --> 00:38:03,489
Forget the fact that you had to go
to the kid emporium and buy one.
489
00:38:03,658 --> 00:38:07,407
We can't all produce six perfect little angels
like me and Harriet.
490
00:38:07,579 --> 00:38:10,746
I only got one, but he's one in a million.
491
00:38:13,502 --> 00:38:15,459
Gee, Roy.
492
00:38:15,629 --> 00:38:19,129
- It's gonna give the kids a scare, isn't it?
- You got me.
493
00:38:19,300 --> 00:38:24,342
- Wait a minute. I got something else for you.
- I can't wait to see their faces light up.
494
00:38:24,514 --> 00:38:26,388
It's so real.
495
00:38:26,558 --> 00:38:30,805
Little Ben, now that you're a father,
try this on for size.
496
00:38:35,859 --> 00:38:38,148
Gee, thanks, Roy.
497
00:38:38,987 --> 00:38:43,531
The monkey thought it was all in fun
Pop goes the weasell
498
00:38:43,701 --> 00:38:48,529
A penny for a spool of thread
A penny for a needle
499
00:38:48,706 --> 00:38:52,870
That's the way the money goes
Pop goes the weasell
500
00:38:53,044 --> 00:38:56,579
- All right! What do we do now?
- Let's tell ghost stories.
501
00:38:56,756 --> 00:38:59,757
- Let's roast marshmallows.
- Let's light a forest fire.
502
00:38:59,926 --> 00:39:04,635
- Don't you know it's bad to light forest fires?
- That's the whole point.
503
00:39:04,806 --> 00:39:08,721
- I'm gonna tell my daddy on you!
- I'm gonna tell.
504
00:39:08,894 --> 00:39:11,848
- Give him the silent treatment.
- Yeah, ignore him.
505
00:39:14,608 --> 00:39:17,894
Ignore this.
506
00:39:18,070 --> 00:39:20,146
Gross!
507
00:39:24,786 --> 00:39:29,531
This outdoor life is gonna be just the ticket
for Junior. He's gonna blossom out here.
508
00:39:29,707 --> 00:39:31,831
We sure do enjoy it.
509
00:39:32,002 --> 00:39:36,296
I bet you've never been camping before.
It's so much fun.
510
00:39:36,465 --> 00:39:39,668
There's singing. Marshmallows.
511
00:39:39,843 --> 00:39:42,630
And all sorts of stupid humans to scare.
512
00:39:45,599 --> 00:39:50,096
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
513
00:39:50,271 --> 00:39:54,483
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
514
00:40:04,619 --> 00:40:06,695
Roy, you devil.
515
00:40:10,459 --> 00:40:15,702
What's the matter, kids? You afraid
of a measly little bear? He's not so bad.
516
00:40:16,715 --> 00:40:20,049
Great. This is great, Roy.
517
00:40:21,512 --> 00:40:25,095
Let's see if he's ticklish.
Mr Bear ticklish? Coochie-coochie!
518
00:40:26,517 --> 00:40:27,893
Coochie...
519
00:40:28,061 --> 00:40:31,346
That was close! You...
520
00:40:33,942 --> 00:40:35,317
Roy?
521
00:40:35,485 --> 00:40:38,059
Roy! Help!
522
00:40:38,238 --> 00:40:40,646
Help! Help!
523
00:40:51,335 --> 00:40:54,005
Stay here, stay here.
524
00:40:55,506 --> 00:40:57,879
- Where did he go?
- I think it left.
525
00:41:20,699 --> 00:41:24,151
He must have learned it from the tourists.
526
00:41:42,306 --> 00:41:44,133
Roy!
527
00:41:50,231 --> 00:41:54,727
I can't get it out of my head that
Junior was responsible for the camping thing.
528
00:41:54,902 --> 00:41:57,191
He was laughing his head off.
529
00:41:57,363 --> 00:41:59,403
Just lock him in his room tonight.
530
00:41:59,574 --> 00:42:03,275
It says that children often misbehave
just to get attention
531
00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:08,411
and we should resort to discipline only when
other forms of positive reinforcement fail.
532
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,202
Up yours! Up yours!
533
00:42:12,379 --> 00:42:15,879
- Reinforce that.
- Dickhead.
534
00:42:21,222 --> 00:42:24,507
Mrs Henderson, your home is lovely.
535
00:42:24,684 --> 00:42:28,017
- Call me Marion.
- Marion, this is fabulous.
536
00:42:28,187 --> 00:42:32,933
There's nothing more wonderful than
children playing, hearing them laughing.
537
00:42:33,109 --> 00:42:36,443
- Excuse me.
- Did you see Junior's outfit?
538
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,943
Isn't he precious?
539
00:42:45,706 --> 00:42:48,660
Also, Big Ben means big business!
540
00:42:48,834 --> 00:42:53,081
Junior, I got some buttons for the kids
and some stickers for their bikes.
541
00:42:53,255 --> 00:42:57,205
Do your grandfather a favour
and pass them out among your friends.
542
00:42:57,385 --> 00:43:00,090
What for?
543
00:43:00,263 --> 00:43:02,137
What for?
544
00:43:02,307 --> 00:43:06,387
- For ten bucks, that's what's for.
- Sure, Grandpa!
545
00:43:06,561 --> 00:43:08,353
Kids, huh?
546
00:43:22,078 --> 00:43:25,577
Put that down! That's mine!
These are all my presents!
547
00:43:25,748 --> 00:43:31,039
- I was only looking at it.
- You're gonna break it! Get away from it!
548
00:43:31,212 --> 00:43:36,005
- Who's that?
- He can't play with us. He's got cooties.
549
00:43:36,176 --> 00:43:39,093
He's not even a real kid. He's adopted.
550
00:43:39,262 --> 00:43:41,800
Gross!
551
00:43:41,973 --> 00:43:46,018
All right, boys and girls, come on out.
Time for the magic show.
552
00:43:46,186 --> 00:43:47,645
All right!
553
00:43:49,690 --> 00:43:52,062
- You can't come out.
- Why not?
554
00:43:52,234 --> 00:43:53,515
'Cause I said so.
555
00:43:53,694 --> 00:43:59,151
It's my party and I get to say who
can watch my magic show and who can't.
556
00:44:15,384 --> 00:44:19,002
- Why aren't you outside?
- Clowns are dumb.
557
00:44:19,179 --> 00:44:21,421
It's tough being left out, isn't it?
558
00:44:25,478 --> 00:44:29,476
If I give you something,
would you promise to take care of it?
559
00:44:37,407 --> 00:44:41,025
My grandfather gave this to me
just before he died.
560
00:44:41,203 --> 00:44:43,872
What is it?
561
00:44:44,039 --> 00:44:48,167
It's a prune, hardened. It's a hardened prune.
562
00:44:48,335 --> 00:44:53,330
Grandfather became a little senile toward
the end. He thought it resembled Roosevelt.
563
00:44:53,507 --> 00:44:59,213
But the important thing
is that it's a bond between two people.
564
00:45:00,973 --> 00:45:03,595
I've kept it in my pocket for 30 years.
565
00:45:03,768 --> 00:45:07,386
- Ben, I want you to meet the Hofsteders!
- Coming, sweetheart.
566
00:45:08,356 --> 00:45:11,772
- I know you'll take good care of it.
- Ben, move it!
567
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:23,612
You can't come to my magic show.
568
00:45:24,373 --> 00:45:26,911
I had some magic of my own.
569
00:45:27,877 --> 00:45:31,495
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
570
00:45:31,673 --> 00:45:36,002
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
571
00:45:36,177 --> 00:45:41,516
You would cry too if it happened to you
572
00:45:42,976 --> 00:45:46,760
Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
573
00:45:46,939 --> 00:45:50,639
But Judy left the same time
574
00:45:50,818 --> 00:45:56,856
Why was he holding her hand?
When he's supposed to be mine
575
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,617
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
576
00:46:01,788 --> 00:46:05,702
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
577
00:46:05,875 --> 00:46:10,668
You would cry too if it happened to you
578
00:46:13,049 --> 00:46:16,501
Play all my records
Keep dancing all night
579
00:46:16,678 --> 00:46:20,759
But we were alone for a while
580
00:46:20,933 --> 00:46:27,386
Till Johnny's dancing with me
I've got no reason to smile
581
00:46:27,565 --> 00:46:30,815
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
582
00:46:30,985 --> 00:46:34,983
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
583
00:46:35,156 --> 00:46:39,783
You would cry too if it happened to you...
584
00:46:57,555 --> 00:47:01,138
Judy and Johnny
Just walked through the door
585
00:47:01,309 --> 00:47:04,974
Like a queen with her king
586
00:47:05,146 --> 00:47:12,027
Oh, what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearing his ring
587
00:47:12,195 --> 00:47:15,529
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to
588
00:47:15,699 --> 00:47:19,150
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
589
00:47:19,328 --> 00:47:25,247
You would cry too if it happened to you
590
00:47:25,417 --> 00:47:30,210
Oh-oh, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to
591
00:47:30,381 --> 00:47:34,130
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
592
00:47:34,302 --> 00:47:40,222
You would cry too if it happened to you
593
00:47:41,309 --> 00:47:45,639
Perhaps this was the one step too far.
This could be a problem.
594
00:47:45,814 --> 00:47:48,435
- I think we've got a problem.
- You think so?
595
00:47:48,609 --> 00:47:52,357
We should get rid of the kid
and buy a new cat!
596
00:47:52,529 --> 00:47:57,986
- You're not making any sense.
- Wanna make sense? Show him who's boss!
597
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,486
Here, be a man.
598
00:48:06,169 --> 00:48:11,246
Please, God, I'm so sorry for what I've done.
I won't ever do it again, I promise.
599
00:48:11,424 --> 00:48:15,125
And I don't ever
want to cause Mr Healy any trouble.
600
00:48:15,303 --> 00:48:18,470
He's the only one that's ever been nice to me.
601
00:48:21,226 --> 00:48:23,599
Please don't spank me, Mr Healy.
602
00:48:24,897 --> 00:48:28,515
I don't want to
but you're gonna have to be punished.
603
00:48:28,693 --> 00:48:32,192
So, I'm gonna take back your allowance.
604
00:48:32,363 --> 00:48:34,237
The whole buck?
605
00:48:34,407 --> 00:48:37,278
That's right. Now, just hand it over.
606
00:48:44,209 --> 00:48:46,665
I wonder if he's got change for a 20.
607
00:48:53,510 --> 00:48:55,254
OK.
608
00:48:55,429 --> 00:48:57,885
I think you'd better go right to bed.
609
00:48:58,057 --> 00:49:03,217
Just use this time to think about
what you've done and what you're going to do.
610
00:49:03,396 --> 00:49:06,148
Understand?
611
00:49:08,484 --> 00:49:11,236
I hope you've learned a lesson.
612
00:49:11,404 --> 00:49:14,358
Goodnight.
613
00:49:14,533 --> 00:49:17,949
What is this guy, nice or something?
614
00:49:30,591 --> 00:49:33,711
- Can I help you?
- Fill her up.
615
00:49:39,350 --> 00:49:42,055
Smiley pies!
616
00:49:42,228 --> 00:49:45,183
I ain't had a smiley pie in 15 years.
617
00:50:20,102 --> 00:50:24,598
Now, Cold River's favourite son,
Big Ben Healyl
618
00:50:26,775 --> 00:50:31,521
First of all, I'd like to thank everyone
who supported me in my race for Mayor.
619
00:50:33,991 --> 00:50:35,818
This is the Founders Day game.
620
00:50:35,993 --> 00:50:40,572
It doesn't matter who wins or loses,
just so long as Big Ben wins for Mayor.
621
00:50:42,459 --> 00:50:48,378
When you hit one out and that scoreboard
lights up, I want you to remember Big Ben.
622
00:50:58,350 --> 00:51:01,020
We go to the seventh inning tied.
623
00:51:14,618 --> 00:51:20,870
All right, somebody's gonna have to pinch-hit
for Andy. OK, buddy, this is your big moment.
624
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:25,872
- Who, me?
- Of course you, Junior. I need you to bat.
625
00:51:26,046 --> 00:51:30,590
Get up, grab a helmet.
Get a bat, that's a boy.
626
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:34,176
But I don't know how to play baseball.
627
00:51:34,347 --> 00:51:37,134
Now is as good a time as any to learn.
628
00:51:37,308 --> 00:51:40,760
- But what happens if...
- It doesn't matter what happens.
629
00:51:40,937 --> 00:51:45,065
The important thing is that you stand up there
and take your cuts, OK?
630
00:51:45,233 --> 00:51:48,151
I'll be proud of you no matter how you do.
631
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:53,990
Are you out of your mind, putting that
little monster in the game? I'm on a campaign.
632
00:51:54,159 --> 00:51:57,279
Junior'll do just fine, Dad.
You can do it, buddy.
633
00:51:57,454 --> 00:52:02,282
Nice little tie, moose breath. Bet you sell
a lot of Girl Scout cookies wearing that.
634
00:52:02,460 --> 00:52:04,536
No batter, Cort.
635
00:52:04,712 --> 00:52:07,286
He's cute, isn't he?
636
00:52:11,261 --> 00:52:13,716
Strike one.
637
00:52:14,472 --> 00:52:19,051
If that kid wasn't adopted,
I'd swear he was your real son.
638
00:52:19,227 --> 00:52:22,679
You weren't on the team
the last time we beat you.
639
00:52:22,856 --> 00:52:25,347
The guy I'm staying with is the coach.
640
00:52:25,526 --> 00:52:28,942
You mean that big dork
who buys everyone ice cream.
641
00:52:29,113 --> 00:52:31,189
He is not a dork!
642
00:52:31,365 --> 00:52:35,612
Watch the pitcher, not the catcher,
buddy, come on!
643
00:52:47,799 --> 00:52:50,670
My new car! Oh, my God!
644
00:52:50,844 --> 00:52:56,550
Shake it off. Tighten up that grip, all right?
Meet the ball. Hold onto the bat, OK?
645
00:52:56,725 --> 00:52:59,263
- Come on, boy!
- Good idea.
646
00:52:59,436 --> 00:53:02,058
Yeah, hold on to the bat.
647
00:53:02,231 --> 00:53:05,066
Son of dork, son of dork!
648
00:53:05,318 --> 00:53:09,398
Son of dork!
649
00:53:10,406 --> 00:53:12,732
Oh, no.
650
00:53:25,881 --> 00:53:28,039
Drop the bat, son!
651
00:53:32,179 --> 00:53:34,089
That's no good!
652
00:53:34,265 --> 00:53:36,423
You can't do that.
653
00:53:36,601 --> 00:53:39,139
Whoa!
654
00:53:40,438 --> 00:53:43,772
Drop the bat, Junior! Are you nuts?
655
00:53:47,529 --> 00:53:49,771
Whoa!
656
00:54:00,834 --> 00:54:02,911
Come on, I got something for you!
657
00:54:06,716 --> 00:54:08,673
Ow!
658
00:54:09,469 --> 00:54:12,304
Touchdown! Touchdown! Touchdown!
659
00:54:12,472 --> 00:54:15,592
Touchdown!
660
00:54:26,945 --> 00:54:29,104
We've adopted Satan.
661
00:54:29,281 --> 00:54:33,149
I don't now what you could've been
thinking about! We've done all we can.
662
00:54:33,327 --> 00:54:37,159
Now, you wait right here.
I'm gonna get the priest.
663
00:54:39,751 --> 00:54:43,831
Hello, Mr Healy. Remember me?
You sold me a canteen.
664
00:54:44,005 --> 00:54:46,543
Boy, did we have a great camping trip!
665
00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:49,966
I caught three fish. My dad was really proud.
666
00:54:50,136 --> 00:54:52,509
Blow it out your ass.
667
00:54:55,058 --> 00:54:57,514
Junior. Junior!
668
00:54:57,686 --> 00:54:59,762
Get back here, you little heathen!
669
00:55:01,148 --> 00:55:04,268
Junior! Where are you, you little creep?
670
00:55:22,003 --> 00:55:25,538
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Father? Father?
671
00:55:27,468 --> 00:55:30,919
Father, I'm at the end of my rope.
It's about my kid.
672
00:55:31,096 --> 00:55:36,850
He's a real problem. He does terrible things.
My father hates him. My wife hates him.
673
00:55:37,019 --> 00:55:38,811
Everybody hates him.
674
00:55:38,980 --> 00:55:41,435
Everybody except me. And I've had it.
675
00:55:41,607 --> 00:55:44,692
God! I've failed, Father. The kid hates me.
676
00:55:44,861 --> 00:55:49,986
It's time I faced up to what I do have to do.
I'm gonna take him back to the orphanage.
677
00:55:50,158 --> 00:55:54,701
No, no, you don't want to do that!
That's the worst thing you could do!
678
00:56:08,761 --> 00:56:11,798
- Can I call you back?
- He's all yours.
679
00:56:11,973 --> 00:56:14,725
- Can we discuss this?
- There is nothing to discuss.
680
00:56:14,893 --> 00:56:19,353
- We're signing him back over to you now!
- Bad parents make bad children!
681
00:56:19,522 --> 00:56:21,978
I'm a bad parent because I hate my kid?
682
00:56:22,150 --> 00:56:25,769
- There is something strange about that boy!
- He is twisted!
683
00:56:25,946 --> 00:56:29,232
- You took him! He's yours!
- You conned us into it!
684
00:56:29,408 --> 00:56:34,782
What am I supposed to do with the little
creep? He's already been returned 30 times!
685
00:56:34,955 --> 00:56:37,162
This makes 31!
686
00:56:37,333 --> 00:56:40,038
"We don't care
about brown hair and brown eyes."
687
00:56:40,211 --> 00:56:43,794
"We want to take him into our home
and let him play with our cat!"
688
00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,456
Hold it! Stop, wait!
689
00:56:46,634 --> 00:56:50,466
What are we talking about?
Thirty? Thirty times?
690
00:56:50,639 --> 00:56:53,130
Flo, did you hear that?
691
00:56:53,308 --> 00:56:55,930
This is a human being we're talking about!
692
00:56:56,103 --> 00:56:58,475
That kid's a monster!
693
00:56:58,647 --> 00:57:02,597
Flo, we're doing what everybody else
has done to this child.
694
00:57:02,776 --> 00:57:06,192
- It's easy to give up on a kid.
- Damn straight it is.
695
00:57:06,363 --> 00:57:11,702
Isn't that what's wrong with the world today?
Everybody's looking for the easy way out.
696
00:57:11,869 --> 00:57:16,911
They're hoping that
their problems will just go away.
697
00:57:17,083 --> 00:57:21,247
But problems don't just go, Flo, you know?
698
00:57:21,421 --> 00:57:26,130
So, the question before us is what are
we gonna do with our little problem child?
699
00:57:26,301 --> 00:57:28,508
I'll tell you.
700
00:57:28,679 --> 00:57:33,886
Something that no one's ever done
for him before. We're gonna love him, Flo.
701
00:57:35,019 --> 00:57:39,432
We're gonna love him when he's bad,
we're gonna love him when he's worse,
702
00:57:39,607 --> 00:57:43,771
until one day he's gonna crack and say,
703
00:57:43,945 --> 00:57:48,192
"Hey, these folks really do love me."
704
00:57:48,366 --> 00:57:50,738
"They ain't gonna quit on me."
705
00:57:50,910 --> 00:57:53,995
"I don't have to be bad any more."
706
00:57:54,164 --> 00:57:58,244
"What the hay!
I can be president of the United States!"
707
00:57:58,919 --> 00:58:04,459
President? Are you brain damaged? Junior's
gonna be a convict before he's in third grade!
708
00:58:04,633 --> 00:58:06,176
Sh!
709
00:58:06,343 --> 00:58:08,669
Junior? Son?
710
00:58:10,139 --> 00:58:13,639
- Unlock the door.
- You said you were gonna keep me forever.
711
00:58:15,019 --> 00:58:18,223
I am. I'm sorry, I just made a mistake.
712
00:58:18,398 --> 00:58:22,147
Trust me. We're not gonna
take you back to the orphanage.
713
00:58:22,319 --> 00:58:27,526
I don't believe you! You only pretended
to be my friend. You're just like all the others.
714
00:58:29,243 --> 00:58:32,409
Junior? Now, come on, son.
715
00:58:34,039 --> 00:58:36,791
You moron. You left the keys in the car.
716
00:58:37,877 --> 00:58:41,625
Hey, he can drive! Boy, that's great!
717
00:58:42,340 --> 00:58:46,385
Look at you handle this baby!
I'm so proud of you, son!
718
00:58:47,679 --> 00:58:49,553
Junior!
719
00:58:49,722 --> 00:58:52,677
Hold it!
720
00:58:53,852 --> 00:58:55,595
Get out of the way!
721
00:58:56,271 --> 00:58:58,347
Left! Turn left!
722
00:58:59,316 --> 00:59:02,151
Right, Junior.
723
00:59:05,155 --> 00:59:09,070
No!
724
00:59:09,243 --> 00:59:11,615
No, don't touch that!
725
00:59:13,539 --> 00:59:15,865
Junior!
726
00:59:27,262 --> 00:59:29,089
Watch out!
727
00:59:35,771 --> 00:59:39,354
Born to be wild
728
01:00:03,342 --> 01:00:04,717
Hello?
729
01:00:05,469 --> 01:00:07,925
Ben? Jim O'Connor.
Are you sitting down?
730
01:00:08,097 --> 01:00:09,472
Yes.
731
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:14,765
Bad news. Your father cleaned out your bank
account to pay for the damage to his store.
732
01:00:14,937 --> 01:00:18,271
Nothing can make up
for the loss of your life savings...
733
01:00:18,441 --> 01:00:19,816
Ben?
734
01:00:31,163 --> 01:00:33,239
Uh-ohl He's lost it nowl
735
01:00:47,930 --> 01:00:50,256
All right!
736
01:00:54,938 --> 01:00:57,263
Private business.
737
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:59,149
Hi!
738
01:00:59,317 --> 01:01:04,692
- Get out of my way, kid. I'm looking for JR.
- That's me! Junior!
739
01:01:08,536 --> 01:01:11,821
I don't have time for this crap, kid.
740
01:01:11,998 --> 01:01:16,956
Now, the guy I'm looking for is an ex-con
and he's as mean as a rattlesnake.
741
01:01:17,128 --> 01:01:20,331
That's me, dummy! I sent you all those letters.
742
01:01:20,506 --> 01:01:26,343
Man. I drove a thousand miles
to hang out with a seven-year-old?
743
01:01:26,513 --> 01:01:30,345
- I'm gonna be eight in two weeks.
- Don't count on it.
744
01:01:34,855 --> 01:01:40,360
Mr Healy, Mrs Healy, I'd like you to meet
the greatest guy in the whole wide world.
745
01:01:40,528 --> 01:01:42,236
Martin...
746
01:01:43,864 --> 01:01:45,738
Uncle Marty!
747
01:01:45,908 --> 01:01:48,316
Marty, this is Mr and Mrs Healy
748
01:01:48,494 --> 01:01:52,492
and that's the $3,000 stereo system
and the console TV.
749
01:01:52,665 --> 01:01:54,623
How wonderful, an uncle!
750
01:01:54,793 --> 01:01:57,248
You absolutely must stay the night.
751
01:01:57,420 --> 01:02:01,039
It is so wonderful to meet
the uncle of darling little Junior.
752
01:02:01,216 --> 01:02:05,843
Did you hear that? Uncle Marty.
We've gotta treat this guy like royalty.
753
01:02:06,013 --> 01:02:11,304
We've gotta make him think Junior's an angel.
He'll leave and take the little brat with him.
754
01:02:11,477 --> 01:02:14,312
Everybody just loves Junior.
755
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:19,356
For pocket money he helps some
of the older residents with their groceries.
756
01:02:19,527 --> 01:02:21,401
Isn't that right, Ben?
757
01:02:23,615 --> 01:02:29,819
If only he had a blood relative taking care of
him, someone with a natural tie. Like an uncle!
758
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:32,155
- More meatloaf?
- Yeah.
759
01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:34,325
I'll get you some.
760
01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:37,455
This guy is just so appealing.
761
01:02:37,629 --> 01:02:40,037
I'll give you a hand.
762
01:02:42,802 --> 01:02:48,176
Your nephew is such a delight. He's always
cleaning and tidying up after all of us.
763
01:02:48,349 --> 01:02:50,805
Perfect for a single man living alone.
764
01:02:50,977 --> 01:02:53,053
Are you a bachelor, Marty?
765
01:02:55,482 --> 01:02:58,732
I ain't been with a woman in 15 years.
766
01:02:58,902 --> 01:03:01,773
Women just love single male parents.
767
01:03:01,947 --> 01:03:06,656
If you had a kid like Junior
the women would be flocking over you.
768
01:03:16,879 --> 01:03:19,501
Did you say 15 years?
769
01:03:21,217 --> 01:03:23,293
Wait.
770
01:03:26,556 --> 01:03:29,759
Stop it!
771
01:04:01,843 --> 01:04:04,631
Look at all the stuff I brought for our trip.
772
01:04:04,805 --> 01:04:10,511
I got my ammo. There's guns,
hand grenades and even dynamite.
773
01:04:13,856 --> 01:04:19,859
These are toys. What are you
jerking me around for? This is kiddies' stuff!
774
01:04:22,323 --> 01:04:26,107
What did you do that for?
Don't we need supplies?
775
01:04:26,286 --> 01:04:29,038
What? I'm not working with you!
776
01:04:29,789 --> 01:04:34,333
But I thought we were gonna be partners.
I thought you liked me.
777
01:04:34,503 --> 01:04:38,121
I don't like no one. I work alone.
778
01:04:41,218 --> 01:04:46,343
Goodbye, Junior! Goodbye, Flo!
Oh, I am so sad to see you go.
779
01:04:46,515 --> 01:04:50,300
A hundred thousand dollars?
You can keep 'em!
780
01:04:50,478 --> 01:04:53,681
Good morning! Hello, sunshine!
781
01:04:55,733 --> 01:04:58,059
This was supposed to be our honeymoon!
782
01:04:58,236 --> 01:05:01,771
You said you loved me!
You called me a little kumquat.
783
01:05:01,948 --> 01:05:04,653
This is our honeymoon, you moron!
784
01:05:04,826 --> 01:05:07,448
Moron? Moron?
785
01:05:07,621 --> 01:05:12,497
I went to Radcliffe! I'm not a bimbo
you can tie up and do what you want with!
786
01:05:12,668 --> 01:05:14,744
- You shut up!
- I will not!
787
01:05:14,920 --> 01:05:20,081
Let me out of here! You stupid piece of...
You're gonna regret this!
788
01:05:20,259 --> 01:05:25,420
I'm gonna be waiting and when I'm done
with you you're gonna be singing falsetto!
789
01:05:25,598 --> 01:05:29,430
He-e-e-ere's Daddy!
790
01:05:32,189 --> 01:05:34,680
Goodbye, Junior!
791
01:05:34,858 --> 01:05:38,061
Adiosl Hasta luegol
792
01:05:39,279 --> 01:05:41,319
Sayonara!
793
01:05:42,366 --> 01:05:44,691
Yeah!
794
01:05:45,953 --> 01:05:48,824
Yes, that's very creative, Junior.
795
01:05:48,998 --> 01:05:51,750
Yeah, right on the money.
796
01:06:12,022 --> 01:06:14,560
He liked me.
797
01:06:14,733 --> 01:06:17,853
All this time he actually liked me.
798
01:06:30,166 --> 01:06:33,500
Vote for Big Ben. Here, read this.
799
01:06:36,548 --> 01:06:41,294
You can't go in. Your father's making
a television appearance for his campaign.
800
01:06:42,888 --> 01:06:45,214
Dad, I gotta talk to you!
801
01:06:45,391 --> 01:06:50,730
- What are you doing? I'm about to go on air!
- Florence and Junior have been kidnapped.
802
01:06:50,897 --> 01:06:52,307
Five minutes.
803
01:06:52,482 --> 01:06:54,937
- I need $100,000.
- Are you insane?
804
01:06:55,109 --> 01:07:00,614
That kid is a monster and your wife is
the original pain in the ass. It's for the best.
805
01:07:00,782 --> 01:07:04,400
- Are you gonna lend me the money?
- No, I'm not.
806
01:07:04,578 --> 01:07:08,410
You work for me. I know what you get.
You're a credit risk.
807
01:07:10,292 --> 01:07:12,368
Then I quit as your son!
808
01:07:12,544 --> 01:07:16,377
Just get out of here.
I got a goddamn campaign to win.
809
01:07:16,549 --> 01:07:20,796
Your campaign,
the one thing you do care about.
810
01:07:21,929 --> 01:07:26,508
Why don't you tell the voters
what you really plan on doing with this town?
811
01:07:26,684 --> 01:07:28,760
I don't give a rat's ass for the voters.
812
01:07:28,937 --> 01:07:33,480
- We're ready with that live feed.
- All I care about is power and money.
813
01:07:34,276 --> 01:07:38,570
America for the Americansl
You believe that nonsense?
814
01:07:38,739 --> 01:07:42,238
I'd sell my soul to the Japanese
if they'd make me an offer.
815
01:07:42,409 --> 01:07:45,660
Don't come sucking round me
if you want something.
816
01:07:45,830 --> 01:07:48,403
The only thing you'll get from me is this.
817
01:08:07,686 --> 01:08:09,928
- Hello?
- You got the money?
818
01:08:10,731 --> 01:08:12,106
Yeah.
819
01:08:12,274 --> 01:08:15,560
Good. Bring it to the circus.
820
01:08:15,736 --> 01:08:18,607
I'll be waiting at the tiger cage.
821
01:08:20,992 --> 01:08:23,447
Roy! I need your car.
822
01:08:23,619 --> 01:08:26,656
- Forget it. We're going hunting.
- So am I.
823
01:08:26,831 --> 01:08:31,707
You can't borrow it. We're all packed up
and ready to go. What are you doing?
824
01:08:31,878 --> 01:08:33,954
You're not going anywhere, buddy.
825
01:08:36,007 --> 01:08:37,668
Wait a minute.
826
01:08:37,843 --> 01:08:40,168
Great, the joke's over. Come on back.
827
01:08:40,345 --> 01:08:42,421
What do you think you're doing?
828
01:08:47,144 --> 01:08:49,552
Hey! Hey, get back here, you!
829
01:08:52,942 --> 01:08:55,231
- What is he doing?
- Get back here!
830
01:08:56,988 --> 01:08:59,693
Gee, I've never been to the circus before.
831
01:08:59,866 --> 01:09:03,531
- I'd sure like to try a swizzle dog.
- I hate circuses.
832
01:09:03,703 --> 01:09:07,784
Nothing worse than a bunch of clowns
trying to make you laugh.
833
01:09:16,550 --> 01:09:20,251
- Look, a giraffe!
- Look, a fist!
834
01:09:24,517 --> 01:09:26,806
Clowns.
835
01:09:26,978 --> 01:09:29,896
Help! Help, let me out of here!
836
01:09:30,064 --> 01:09:33,813
I know you're out there! Help!
837
01:09:33,985 --> 01:09:38,279
Why isn't anybody doing anything?
I know you're out there!
838
01:09:44,246 --> 01:09:46,535
Let's go see the bearded lady.
839
01:09:46,707 --> 01:09:51,369
I seen too many of them in prison.
Stop bugging me or you're gonna get hurt.
840
01:09:51,545 --> 01:09:55,543
What did you say, you bow-tied freak?
Let him go!
841
01:09:56,718 --> 01:09:58,591
Forget it, big daddy!
842
01:09:58,761 --> 01:10:01,679
This is my show. I'm calling the shots.
843
01:10:01,848 --> 01:10:05,976
OK, we make a switch on the count of three.
844
01:10:06,144 --> 01:10:08,635
You toss the money and I release Junior.
845
01:10:08,814 --> 01:10:10,605
Fine.
846
01:10:10,774 --> 01:10:13,312
One, two, three!
847
01:10:13,861 --> 01:10:15,937
- Hey!
- Sucker!
848
01:10:16,113 --> 01:10:20,692
- Give me the boy!
- Why? He wants to go with me.
849
01:10:20,868 --> 01:10:25,993
How about it, kid? We'll go on a crime spree.
We'll terrorise the whole state.
850
01:10:26,165 --> 01:10:28,870
We'll eat smiley pies until we drop.
851
01:10:29,043 --> 01:10:31,451
What do you say?
852
01:10:33,256 --> 01:10:36,590
Come on, let's have some kicks. Tell-a-me.
853
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:38,503
Tell-a-me.
854
01:10:38,678 --> 01:10:40,718
Yeah, kicks, good idea.
855
01:10:47,062 --> 01:10:50,099
- I'll tear you apart!
- Not while I'm around!
856
01:10:51,192 --> 01:10:53,481
Run, Junior, run!
857
01:10:53,653 --> 01:10:55,941
My money!
858
01:11:01,411 --> 01:11:03,487
Hold it!
859
01:11:03,663 --> 01:11:09,002
The astounding Aslanian Family Tumblersl
860
01:11:39,367 --> 01:11:41,360
Excuse me, lady!
861
01:11:44,414 --> 01:11:46,407
Ye-es!
862
01:11:56,969 --> 01:11:59,425
I'll get you now!
863
01:12:12,444 --> 01:12:15,196
Look out below!
864
01:12:16,573 --> 01:12:19,195
- Junior, are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine, Dad.
865
01:12:20,744 --> 01:12:25,205
- You called me Dad.
- Yeah, I guess I did.
866
01:12:29,963 --> 01:12:31,671
Stay away from...
867
01:12:31,839 --> 01:12:36,087
- He's getting away!
- Nobody messes with the Healys! Come on!
868
01:12:38,263 --> 01:12:40,968
There he is!
869
01:12:41,141 --> 01:12:44,842
There's nothing like
going for an outing with your father.
870
01:12:45,020 --> 01:12:47,974
- Look what I found!
- That's Roy's. Give me that.
871
01:12:48,148 --> 01:12:50,271
Why? You can't drive and shoot.
872
01:12:50,442 --> 01:12:52,934
- What do we do?
- I got an idea.
873
01:12:55,656 --> 01:12:59,025
- Go get him, Dad!
- Faster, son, faster!
874
01:12:59,202 --> 01:13:01,693
Attaboy!
875
01:13:01,871 --> 01:13:04,327
Shoot out his tyres, Dad!
876
01:13:05,375 --> 01:13:07,368
Don't mess with me!
877
01:13:09,504 --> 01:13:12,174
I demand you stop this car!
878
01:13:14,593 --> 01:13:16,586
He's the wild one
879
01:13:16,762 --> 01:13:18,636
What the hell is going on?
880
01:13:18,806 --> 01:13:22,056
- I want a divorce!
- Shut up, Flo!
881
01:13:38,618 --> 01:13:40,694
Wha...!
882
01:13:42,414 --> 01:13:44,739
Stop! Hit the brakes!
883
01:13:59,766 --> 01:14:02,601
Now what's going on? What's that smell?
884
01:14:04,145 --> 01:14:06,850
Well, Flo always said she wanted to travel.
885
01:14:09,818 --> 01:14:13,317
- Come on, let's go home.
- Move it.
886
01:14:16,617 --> 01:14:18,693
You little traitor!
887
01:14:18,869 --> 01:14:20,743
No!
888
01:14:25,835 --> 01:14:29,002
No!
889
01:14:31,090 --> 01:14:33,083
Daddy!
890
01:14:33,259 --> 01:14:37,589
Daddy, please don't go!
I'm sorry for all those bad things I did!
891
01:14:37,764 --> 01:14:42,058
If you come back, I promise
I'll never do anything naughty again.
892
01:14:42,227 --> 01:14:45,430
Daddy, come back! I love you!
893
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:49,273
I love you, too, son.
894
01:14:49,443 --> 01:14:51,899
Dad? I don't believe it.
895
01:14:53,072 --> 01:14:55,230
I don't believe it either.
896
01:14:56,117 --> 01:14:58,442
- Are you gonna be OK?
- Yeah.
897
01:15:00,663 --> 01:15:03,237
But the prune's had it.
898
01:15:03,917 --> 01:15:07,083
- Lay still. Ambulance is on the way.
- I'll be all right.
899
01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:09,626
He got me in the prune.
900
01:15:10,382 --> 01:15:16,136
You're not gonna hold me to all that stupid
junk I said about being nice, are you?
901
01:15:16,305 --> 01:15:20,255
Of course not. I just want you to be yourself.
902
01:15:21,352 --> 01:15:23,973
Some people never learn.
903
01:15:24,146 --> 01:15:26,388
Come on, son.
904
01:15:41,540 --> 01:15:42,998
Come on.
905
01:15:44,167 --> 01:15:48,415
Why does this guy love me?
Why do parents love any kid?
906
01:15:48,589 --> 01:15:54,508
It's one of those answers we'll never know
like "How high is up?", "Why is the sky blue?"
907
01:15:54,678 --> 01:15:57,170
and "Whatever happened to Mrs Healy?"
908
01:15:57,348 --> 01:16:02,888
- Your pig's making funny noises.
- Big Miguel, he's got a bad stomach.
909
01:16:07,442 --> 01:16:09,518
Oh, my God!
910
01:16:10,612 --> 01:16:14,906
Na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na
911
01:16:15,075 --> 01:16:16,450
N- n-n-n-n-n-n-n
912
01:16:16,618 --> 01:16:20,486
Whoa-o-o-o-o
913
01:16:20,664 --> 01:16:25,872
Who wants to grow up?
Who wants responsibility?
914
01:16:26,045 --> 01:16:29,414
O- o-o-e-e-e
915
01:16:30,925 --> 01:16:36,346
Who wants to show up
At work until you're 93?
916
01:16:36,514 --> 01:16:39,848
Oh, no, not me
917
01:16:41,269 --> 01:16:46,311
Now, everybody says you're running wild
918
01:16:46,483 --> 01:16:51,276
Your teacher's calling you a problem child
919
01:17:02,291 --> 01:17:07,713
You're just a kid now
But soon you'll be a king of hearts
920
01:17:10,925 --> 01:17:12,550
Oh, yeah
921
01:17:12,719 --> 01:17:18,674
That girl next door
Might turn into a work of art
922
01:17:22,813 --> 01:17:27,641
Some people sayin'put the boy on trial
923
01:17:27,818 --> 01:17:33,157
He's guilty 'cause he's just a juvenile
924
01:17:37,745 --> 01:17:40,118
Oh, yeah
925
01:17:43,752 --> 01:17:48,414
You make us crazy
You make us smile
926
01:17:48,590 --> 01:17:53,466
Some day you'll grow up, boy
And you'll change your style
927
01:17:53,637 --> 01:17:58,679
First you'll be married
And kids after a while
928
01:17:58,851 --> 01:18:04,557
And one of them might wanna be
A problem child, yeah
929
01:18:25,379 --> 01:18:29,792
You make us crazy
You make us smile
930
01:18:29,967 --> 01:18:34,962
Some day you'll grow up, boy
And you'll change your style
931
01:18:35,139 --> 01:18:40,217
First you'll be married
And kids after a while
932
01:18:40,395 --> 01:18:45,852
And one of them might wanna be
A... Oh, baby
933
01:18:46,026 --> 01:18:51,365
Who wants to grow up?
Who wants responsibility?
934
01:18:51,532 --> 01:18:54,901
O- o-o-e-e-e
935
01:18:56,412 --> 01:19:01,833
Who wants to show up
At work until you're 93?
936
01:19:02,001 --> 01:19:05,335
Oh, no, not me
937
01:19:06,839 --> 01:19:11,881
Now, everybody says you're running wild
938
01:19:12,053 --> 01:19:16,881
Your teacher's calling you a problem child
939
01:19:21,688 --> 01:19:23,930
Oh, yeah
940
01:19:27,528 --> 01:19:34,065
You're just a kid now
But soon you'll be a king of hearts
941
01:19:37,956 --> 01:19:44,326
That girl next door
Might turn into a work of art
942
01:19:48,383 --> 01:19:53,176
Some people sayin'put the boy on trial
943
01:19:53,597 --> 01:19:58,840
He's guilty 'cause he's just a juvenile
944
01:20:03,232 --> 01:20:05,391
Oh, yeah
945
01:20:12,784 --> 01:20:14,492
Oh, yeah...
946
01:20:15,305 --> 01:20:21,630
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