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.:: fmovies.se ::.
Free Online Movies
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( footsteps approaching )
2
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Hi, I'm Michael.
3
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,834
Paul.
4
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,839
I hear you're having some trouble.
5
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,844
It's okay.
6
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,680
It's okay.
7
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,383
I just...
8
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,386
don't understand...
9
00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:29,656
why God made me like this.
10
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,658
He didn't.
11
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,294
Trust me.
12
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,197
Let me tell you something.
13
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,199
You should never define yourself
14
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,068
by your choices or your desires.
15
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:47,540
Gay doesn't exist.
It's a false identity.
16
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:51,244
This isn't my choice.
Why would I choose this?
17
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,247
You always have a choice.
18
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,451
You wanna go to Heaven, right?
19
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,119
Yes.
20
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,954
If you're a moral person,
21
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,924
then you'll choose heterosexuality
22
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,127
in order to be with God.
23
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,003
♪♪
24
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,907
( street car bell rings )
25
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,520
( alarm beeping )
26
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,690
( grunts )
27
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,925
( sighs )
28
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:39,860
( alarm stops )
29
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,263
Hey.
30
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,331
Hey. Hey.
31
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:45,665
Where you going?
32
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,567
I'm gonna make us breakfast.
33
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,368
No.
34
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,869
Yeah, come on.
35
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,572
Breakfast is the most
important part of the day.
36
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,641
I'll have muffins at my meeting.
37
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,309
Muffins?
38
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,311
Yeah, muffins.
39
00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,746
Blueberry.
40
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:02,415
Mmm, blueberry.
41
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,117
Okay, then we'll do lunch, okay?
42
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,287
Mmm, morning breath.
43
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:11,291
( exhales ) Oh, stop it! Get off!
44
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,992
( laughs )
45
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,928
♪♪
46
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,892
( all cheering )
47
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,900
It's so cool that you work at XY.
48
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,568
Yeah. Yeah, it's rad.
49
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,838
You guys are like the only cool
gay magazine out there right now.
50
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,441
Oh, yeah, sort of.
51
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,235
MAN: Hey, listen up, queens.
52
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XY magazine’s taking over!
53
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,173
It's our time to shine!
54
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,043
( all cheering )
55
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,792
♪♪
56
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,104
WOMAN: Matthew Shepard
was an openly gay man.
57
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:08,375
When he went to a Laramie,
Wyoming bar last week,
58
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,377
these two suspects lured him outside,
59
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,978
pretending to be gay.
60
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,213
Now they're charged
with a vicious attack
61
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,948
that left Shepard hanging on this fence
62
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,585
for 18 hours in freezing temperatures.
63
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,120
Shepard remained on
life support until this morning
64
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,622
when he passed away.
65
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,957
Shepard's family is grateful for support
66
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,394
from around the world.
67
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,806
They killed him
because they were afraid,
68
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,809
and they were afraid because of
what their churches tell them
69
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,244
and because of what they see in movies.
70
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,746
It's fucking ridiculous.
71
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,415
I hope they get the death penalty.
72
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,817
You're against the death penalty.
Not in this case.
73
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,251
That's like being for free speech
74
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,353
until someone tells you
something that pisses you off.
75
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,722
He died a slow death
76
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,990
after being tied to a fence
and tortured.
77
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,859
Exactly, a slow death
is way more painful.
78
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,728
They should spend the rest
of their lives in prison.
79
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,797
Okay, look, we need
to move away from labels
80
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,867
because they segment
and they lead to persecution.
81
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,038
People don't wanna be
perceived as gay because...
82
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,574
they're afraid
they'll end up like Matthew.
83
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,743
But we are a gay magazine.
84
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,811
Identifying as gay
is being part of a community.
85
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,780
It's recognition, it's progress...
86
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,850
We've been telling the kids in the magazine
to come out, to be proud to be gay.
87
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,618
They should be proud to be themselves.
88
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,121
Gay and straight
are just social constructs.
89
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,357
Ugh. God,
you and your queer theory.
90
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:34,193
Class is in session
with Professor Michael Glatze.
91
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,327
Shut up.
92
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,763
Okay, okay, look.
93
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,297
We need to put out the message
94
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,633
that being attracted to the same sex
95
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:43,537
doesn't define who you are.
96
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,508
♪♪
97
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,547
Hey.
98
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,548
( music stops )
99
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,918
Have you been smoking?
100
00:06:58,986 --> 00:06:59,986
Just one.
101
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,320
Small one.
102
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,322
It was a small cigarette.
103
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,794
( chuckles ) Busted.
104
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,330
Letters to the editor.
105
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:15,201
Ninety percent are some poor
teen with religious parents.
106
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,872
Fucking Christian Fundamentalists
should burn in hell.
107
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,941
Uh, okay.
108
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:26,145
In the meantime,
there is a design competition
109
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,015
for the Halifax International Airport.
110
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,017
I don't wanna move to Halifax.
111
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,553
I know, but my father wants me
to head up the bid committee.
112
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,554
It's huge.
113
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,422
Halifax is so boring.
114
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,190
Your hometown is boring.
115
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,191
It's not.
116
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,527
Olympia?
Yeah.
117
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:44,531
It's all trees and fog and coffee.
118
00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,198
And the birthplace
of the Riot Grrrl movement
119
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,802
and where Kurt Cobain
wrote most of Nevermind.
120
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,538
( chuckles )
Oh, well...
121
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,540
Yeah.
In that case...
122
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,341
But it's unsustainable here,
123
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,209
unless you're in
the dot-com movement,
124
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:01,313
and I don't wanna live
in a studio on Mission Street
125
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,448
when we're 50.
126
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:03,750
Well, we won't be.
127
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:07,319
We'll be in a big mansion
on a hill. Duh.
128
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,822
♪♪
129
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,692
MICHAEL: May 21st, 2000.
130
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,094
I used to imagine myself growing old
131
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,030
while living in a house
atop a hill in the Castro,
132
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,732
but what's more important to me
133
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,368
is growing old with the love of my life,
134
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,536
Bennett.
135
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,538
So I'm leaving San Francisco
136
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,040
to live in Halifax, Canada.
137
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,910
Although I'm sad to leave XY magazine,
138
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,780
I'm excited to finally accept
the speaking offers
139
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,481
I've been receiving this past year,
140
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:38,685
thanks to my work
as a writer and activist.
141
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,853
What a lot of people aren't aware of
142
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,856
is that the terms "heterosexual"
and "homosexual"
143
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,193
were only introduced
about a hundred years ago.
144
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,262
As my mother used to always say,
145
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,864
"When you help others,
146
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,199
you're helping yourself
as well."
147
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,668
We often read about more sexually...
148
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,670
My goal is to thread a needle
149
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,839
through the fabric of this country
150
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,710
and stitch together the lives
of gay kids everywhere.
151
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:04,977
I know a lot of you
152
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,513
are balancing religion and sexuality,
153
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,181
but I mean, come on,
154
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:13,621
what God would punish you
for finding love?
155
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,996
( birds chirping )
156
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,797
( woodpecker pecking )
157
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,375
This is where I spread my Mom's ashes.
158
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,792
Oh, my God.
159
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,928
She's still here.
160
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,832
( sighs )
161
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,736
♪♪
162
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,744
Mom, I'm gonna stay here with you.
163
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:45,812
No.
164
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,246
Don't be stubborn.
165
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:50,382
You are not skipping
a semester to be with me.
166
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,184
I can help you through this.
167
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,722
I'm gonna be fine.
I told you.
168
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,257
I feel better.
169
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,360
Really, Michael.
170
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,397
I am so proud of you.
171
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,367
I love you so much.
172
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,838
Hmm. I love you.
173
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,214
I should've stayed.
174
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,883
( sighs )
175
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,718
Everyone kept saying,
176
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:29,890
"Don't worry, we're praying
for her, don't worry."
177
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,128
Everyone's gonna die.
178
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,834
No amount of praying
is ever gonna change that.
179
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,074
♪♪
180
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,487
( alarm beeping )
181
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,156
You're not getting up yet.
Five minutes more.
182
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,326
I can't believe I'm approaching
my one-year anniversary
183
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,296
here in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
184
00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:14,366
The food is amazing,
especially the sushi.
185
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:19,371
The people are friendly
and although the gay community
186
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,173
is much smaller than San Francisco,
187
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,845
I have some big plans
to really make an impact.
188
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,091
What's wrong with you?
189
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,193
Nothing.
190
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,429
( sighs )
191
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,131
Look, I have to find
something else to do.
192
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:48,467
I'm just not cut out
for administrative work.
193
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,602
Give it some time?
194
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,438
I have things I wanna do.
195
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,974
I want my own magazine.
I want something bigger.
196
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,976
I want...
I want to influence people.
197
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,145
I can't do that here.
You're being such a shit.
198
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,913
We made the decision
to leave San Francisco together.
199
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,148
No, we didn't.
200
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,016
I mean, you had to take this job.
201
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,385
Just like you had to take the job
that took us to San Francisco.
202
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:10,390
Which is how you got your job at
XY, so you should be thanking me.
203
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,926
Is this...
204
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,428
This is supposed to be Mexican food?
205
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,497
Why don't you go to the store
and make your own food?
206
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,698
Maybe I will.
207
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,333
You'll have to ask me for money, though,
208
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,470
'cause you don't have any, remember?
209
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:33,013
♪♪
210
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,252
Thanks.
211
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,448
Hey.
212
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,850
Hey.
213
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,486
You're Mike, right?
214
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,422
Uh, yeah.
215
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,227
The XY Survivor Guide
really helped me out.
216
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,861
Are you stalking me or something?
217
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,330
( laughs )
218
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,932
Tyler.
219
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:26,933
Hi.
220
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,034
Hi.
221
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,736
I just...
I wanted you to know
222
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,438
I agree with everything that you say
223
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,641
about gay identity and sexuality.
224
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:39,845
I don't wanna be put into a
box just because I'm gay.
225
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,847
You don't wanna be in a box?
226
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,849
No, I don't wanna be in a box.
227
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,351
( both laugh )
228
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:48,220
You're so fucking cute.
229
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,189
Can I buy you a drink?
230
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,858
Don't you have a boyfriend?
231
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:56,529
( inhales) Hmm...
He'll think you're cute, too.
232
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,333
♪♪
233
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,641
( humming )
234
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,213
TYLER: It's a galaxy.
235
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,548
Uh, actually it's a spiral.
236
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,917
It's the only symbol
that means anything.
237
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,653
It's infinite, no beginning, no end.
238
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,822
There's a beginning and there's an end.
239
00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,457
All right, well, there's
a more complicated one
240
00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,958
that has no beginning and no end,
241
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,128
but I can't do it on my pancakes, okay?
242
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,264
( all chuckle )
243
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,400
How did you guys meet?
244
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,901
How did we meet?
245
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,670
Uh, San Francisco.
246
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,540
We volunteered at this
AIDS prevention organization.
247
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:18,544
And we both got arrested protesting
this Christian Coalition event.
248
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,880
Which is how I knew it was true love.
249
00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,383
( chuckles )
Awesome.
250
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:28,087
How about you?
What's your deal?
251
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,955
Who are you?
252
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,290
Uh...
253
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,159
I'm a physics student.
254
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,993
Really?
Yeah.
255
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,662
Physics.
Science.
256
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:41,533
Yeah. I wanna be an astronaut,
but that's probably a long shot.
257
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,737
Oh, God. I'd be terrified
to go into space.
258
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,939
It's just, to me,
259
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:51,843
Earth is just this, like,
tiny speck in the universe.
260
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,847
And humans have only been around
for just a speck of that timeline.
261
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,749
So it's just...
262
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:02,622
There has to be more to life
than just this, don't you think?
263
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,227
Totally.
264
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,631
Totally.
265
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,268
BENNETT: So Tyler
was really cute, huh?
266
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,504
Interesting.
Mm-hmm.
267
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,539
It is interesting, isn't it?
268
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,473
Very interesting.
269
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,775
You know why?
( chuckles )
270
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,278
Because I love you so much.
271
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,147
( chuckles )
272
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,349
And I really feel like we're
at a place in our relationship
273
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,551
where there's more
than enough love to go around.
274
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,719
( chuckles )
275
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,554
And I know that I'm not afraid of that
276
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,055
and I don't think that you are either.
277
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,259
Mm-mm. Maybe I am afraid.
278
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,593
Well, you shouldn't be afraid
279
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,663
because I'm here to protect you. Why?
280
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,134
( chuckles )
281
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,273
Carrot thief.
282
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:59,745
MICHAEL: Here's our very uncool
soccer mom van.
283
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,380
Whoo!
( chuckles )
284
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,383
Who are these guys?
( chuckles )
285
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,085
July 23rd, 2002.
286
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,720
Road trip.
Road trip.
287
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:12,057
I'm driving across America
with Bennett and Tyler
288
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:16,162
for an exciting new project
I'm working on.
289
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,596
I guess both beds are taken.
290
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,898
I don't know where you're gonna sleep.
291
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:23,769
BOTH: Eenie, meenie, miney, moe.
292
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,638
( laughs )
293
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,741
This is the most fun
I've ever had in my whole life.
294
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,777
Really?
No.
295
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:32,644
♪♪
296
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,580
We are making a documentary
297
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,382
about queer youth in America,
298
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:40,018
because discrimination
against LGBT youth
299
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:42,288
must be eliminated.
300
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:46,558
I just wish people could see
that these kids have faces,
301
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:50,762
names, and voices that need to be heard.
302
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:54,966
BOY: Growing up in the church
and realizing that you're gay
303
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,035
is very difficult.
304
00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:00,406
You know, your family
has never talked about it.
305
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,073
I mean, I'm 13
306
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,742
and it's the first time
I've heard the word.
307
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,713
And when I heard the word
and knew what it was,
308
00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:11,250
then it was like, "Hey, I know that.
309
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:14,620
I understand that.
That's me."
310
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,522
GIRL: My mom, she's trying.
311
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,123
She's like really in the closet
about it.
312
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,825
She won't mention it to anybody
or anything like that.
313
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,993
Like, she tries to still act
like I'm straight
314
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,596
and expects me to act like
I'm straight along with her
315
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,997
when I'm not like that.
316
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,434
BOY: And this was
probably more overwhelming
317
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:31,837
when I tried to kill myself, uh...
318
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:36,508
But I felt so invisible
319
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,245
to everyone around me who was straight.
320
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:43,181
There are times when I realize
321
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:48,621
that I'm just as much a creation
of God as everyone else.
322
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,092
Olympia, Washington.
323
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,627
This is kind of somber.
324
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:59,965
But even though I grew up here,
325
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:05,504
because both my parents
don't live anymore,
326
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,673
it feels like this place
is a part of a past
327
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,675
that doesn't exist anymore.
328
00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:13,011
And I wasn't gay here.
329
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,513
I mean, you couldn't be.
330
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:17,182
There was this kid that everyone
just thought was gay
331
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:22,120
and he had to leave school
'cause he got picked on so much.
332
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,491
♪♪
333
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,399
MICHAEL: What's it like here?
334
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,200
Liberty is Falwell territory.
335
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:39,372
So as you can imagine,
it's not very gay-friendly.
336
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,943
So why do you stay?
337
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,945
Uh...
338
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,382
Well, I...
339
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,017
I don't know. I, um...
340
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,952
I didn't come out to friends and family
341
00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,754
until last year.
342
00:20:55,755 --> 00:21:00,125
And I have another year
before I graduate.
343
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,860
I'm a Christian.
344
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,662
So...
345
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,931
Which a lot of people
think is impossible,
346
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,633
but I think that's just as ridiculous
347
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,836
as the anti-gay right, so...
348
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,238
( girl crying )
349
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,607
Just a second.
350
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:17,776
Hey, Sof.
351
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,978
GIRL: Do you want us
to call them for you?
352
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,080
( girl crying )
353
00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:24,583
We're just gonna... We're gonna
wait with you until he comes, okay?
354
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:29,287
Her mother just passed.
Do you mind not filming us?
355
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,922
GIRL: So awful.
356
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,091
BOY: Here, let's pray.
Let's pray for her, okay?
357
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,426
All right, turn it off.
358
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,761
BOY: We just wanna ask, Father,
359
00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:37,228
that you would
just give her the strength
360
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:40,832
to get through this
incredibly difficult time
361
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,969
and we pray that you
would just fill us all
362
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,304
with the compassion to know
what she must be going through
363
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,675
because it would be impossible
for us to fully comprehend.
364
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,010
Just show her yourself, Father,
during this time
365
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,880
and look to you right now, Father...
366
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,816
♪♪
367
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:15,935
Hey.
368
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,438
Babe.
369
00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:21,640
We gotta go. We gotta be there at 9:30.
You ready?
370
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,776
Yeah. All right. See you in the car.
371
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,016
I didn't come out to friends and family
372
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,018
until last year.
373
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,352
I'm a Christian.
374
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,221
So...
375
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:38,590
Which a lot of people
think is impossible,
376
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,426
but I think that's just as ridiculous
377
00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,596
as the anti-gay right, so...
378
00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:51,069
When I was young, I didn't know
that there were people like me.
379
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:55,407
I felt lost, alone, and confused.
380
00:22:55,408 --> 00:22:59,778
I never even told my mother,
my best friend, that I was gay
381
00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:02,247
because I was afraid
she wouldn't accept me.
382
00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:04,750
That's why we're on this journey.
383
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:08,920
To let gay kids know
that they are not alone.
384
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:12,424
And you know what?
I learned a lot as well.
385
00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:15,160
Because we met so many amazing people
386
00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:17,162
who've heard their parents or pastors
387
00:23:17,163 --> 00:23:20,031
tell them they're wrong
and yet they've come
388
00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,901
to the realization
that they're beautiful,
389
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:27,405
blessed, and that God
loves them just as they are.
390
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:31,943
I mean, people who believe
that homosexuality is wrong
391
00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:37,015
are gonna change their minds
thanks to this next generation.
392
00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:38,951
♪♪
393
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,891
( church bell rings )
394
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,879
♪♪
395
00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:38,210
( indistinct chatter )
396
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:44,349
The sky is fucking beautiful.
397
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,952
( laughs )
398
00:24:46,953 --> 00:24:49,588
BENNETT: What is this, babe?
399
00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:50,757
Hmm?
400
00:24:52,424 --> 00:24:53,792
Oh, it's stupid.
401
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,794
Just somebody gave it to me
on the street.
402
00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:59,164
"Where Will We Go
When We Die?"
403
00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:02,133
Baby. ( Laughs )
404
00:25:02,134 --> 00:25:04,803
You guys, where will we go when we die?
405
00:25:04,804 --> 00:25:08,339
In 2012, the world is supposed to end.
406
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,141
Is that a real thing?
407
00:25:10,142 --> 00:25:11,843
I hope not.
408
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:14,012
BOY: Everyone knows this.
409
00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:17,015
It's what they drew
on the Mayan calendar.
410
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,851
You know, the Mayan calendar thing.
411
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,554
That's what they drew.
It was the moon and the sun.
412
00:25:22,555 --> 00:25:23,889
( chatter continues )
413
00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:25,825
♪♪
414
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,198
♪♪
415
00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:18,944
What? I'm curious.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
416
00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:22,280
We wanna know. Please.
We wanna know. Please.
417
00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,283
MAN: I don't think
they wanna know.
418
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,358
♪♪
419
00:26:41,734 --> 00:26:42,902
BENNETT: Mike.
420
00:26:46,205 --> 00:26:48,173
You guys go on.
I'll meet you at home.
421
00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:50,241
You okay?
422
00:26:50,242 --> 00:26:51,476
Yeah, I'm fine.
423
00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:53,544
Where are you going?
424
00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:55,682
Michael?
425
00:26:57,316 --> 00:27:01,319
What's that about? I have
absolutely no earthly idea.
426
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,790
( water running )
427
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,393
( sighs )
428
00:27:17,436 --> 00:27:20,072
( sighs )
429
00:27:38,457 --> 00:27:40,392
( sighs )
430
00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,428
( crying )
431
00:27:43,429 --> 00:27:44,831
Baby.
432
00:27:46,432 --> 00:27:50,501
I was worried about you today.
What's going on?
433
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:55,373
( sighs )
434
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:58,043
It's stupid.
435
00:27:58,044 --> 00:28:00,713
Baby, nothing's stupid.
Tell me what.
436
00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:09,988
Do you think when we die,
437
00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:14,126
we just disappear like we never existed?
438
00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,299
No, I don't think that.
439
00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:24,470
Because I know that
we'll always be together.
440
00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:28,307
Baby.
441
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,146
( crying )
442
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,382
Baby.
443
00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:40,052
Baby, you're okay.
I'm here.
444
00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:46,826
♪♪
445
00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:53,465
( all cheering )
446
00:28:58,137 --> 00:29:00,840
Let's pray for her.
Let's pray.
447
00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:05,244
( gasping )
448
00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:14,854
Bennett!
449
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:17,455
Bennett!
450
00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:20,591
( gasping )
451
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,861
I'm really lightheaded.
452
00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:26,933
It's okay. It's okay. We're
almost there. We're almost there.
453
00:29:40,913 --> 00:29:42,680
Okay.
454
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:47,418
Your heartrate seems to have
returned back to normal.
455
00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:49,354
Can you check again?
456
00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:52,590
Just because your father had HCM
does not mean that you have it.
457
00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:57,128
We followed our chest pain protocol
and there's nothing abnormal.
458
00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,132
You had a panic attack. Okay?
459
00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,635
Where's Bennett?
460
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,171
He's in the lobby.
461
00:30:06,172 --> 00:30:09,008
As soon as you're checked out,
you can see him.
462
00:30:09,976 --> 00:30:10,976
All right?
463
00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:12,111
Thank you.
464
00:30:16,615 --> 00:30:17,782
♪♪
465
00:30:17,783 --> 00:30:19,117
I was 13 years old,
466
00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:21,286
walking along the beach with my father,
467
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,288
when he suddenly collapsed and died
468
00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:25,591
from an unexpected heart condition.
469
00:30:29,295 --> 00:30:31,296
If I've inherited his disease,
470
00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:33,599
the same thing could happen to me.
471
00:30:35,301 --> 00:30:37,435
BENNETT: What's wrong, baby?
472
00:30:37,436 --> 00:30:40,305
It's happening again.
I can feel it.
473
00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:43,674
The tests confirmed that...
They don't know.
474
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,510
They don't care.
475
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,345
( gasping )
476
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:50,748
Now I'm having heart
palpitations all the time.
477
00:30:50,749 --> 00:30:54,052
And contrary to what
the doctors keep saying,
478
00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:56,956
I just know they aren't panic attacks.
479
00:30:58,324 --> 00:31:00,158
After months of fighting
with my insurance,
480
00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:02,393
I was finally allowed
to see a specialist
481
00:31:02,394 --> 00:31:04,562
who could definitively test
whether or not
482
00:31:04,563 --> 00:31:07,066
I inherited my father's condition.
483
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:11,469
Now I have to wait for the results.
484
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:14,772
BENNETT: Michael, just calm down.
MICHAEL: Calm down!
485
00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:16,374
Do you know what this disease means?
486
00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:19,577
It means I could die any
minute, just drop dead!
487
00:31:19,578 --> 00:31:21,047
You calm down!
488
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:34,360
( water running )
489
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,178
♪♪
490
00:32:08,027 --> 00:32:10,162
( panting )
491
00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:20,272
( gasping )
492
00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:42,995
( water running )
493
00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:05,684
( panting )
494
00:33:39,085 --> 00:33:41,220
( birds chirping )
495
00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:56,768
( phone chiming )
496
00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:01,539
Dr. Williams?
497
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,907
Hi.
498
00:34:02,908 --> 00:34:07,578
♪♪
499
00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:09,515
( panting )
500
00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:26,832
Thank you, God.
501
00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:32,838
Thank you, God.
502
00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,376
The test confirmed
503
00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:41,512
that I did not inherit
my father's heart condition.
504
00:34:41,513 --> 00:34:45,216
Although it's a massive sigh of relief,
505
00:34:45,217 --> 00:34:47,618
I keep thinking to myself...
506
00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:51,322
if I was really
just having panic attacks,
507
00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,491
then what's wrong with me?
508
00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:55,661
What am I afraid of?
509
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,269
All I know is that when
faced with your own death,
510
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:06,937
it reminds you
of what's important in life.
511
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:10,609
And for me, that's helping other people.
512
00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,478
Okay.
513
00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:16,847
So I've decided
to start my own magazine.
514
00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:19,850
I'm calling it YGA.
515
00:35:19,851 --> 00:35:21,652
Young Gay Americans.
516
00:35:21,653 --> 00:35:25,356
It's gonna be the biggest
and most sophisticated magazine
517
00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:29,527
aimed at improving the lives
of LGBT youth.
518
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,830
( indistinct chatter )
519
00:35:55,954 --> 00:35:57,756
♪♪
520
00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:11,937
( sighs )
521
00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,443
Hmm.
522
00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,789
( footsteps approaching )
523
00:36:45,337 --> 00:36:46,671
What is this?
524
00:36:46,672 --> 00:36:49,206
( chuckles )
What is this?
525
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:52,810
Oh, my God! Hi!
526
00:36:52,811 --> 00:36:54,612
You didn't.
527
00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:56,013
I know you wanted one, baby.
528
00:36:56,014 --> 00:36:57,782
Oh, my God!
529
00:36:57,783 --> 00:37:00,419
( chuckles )
530
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,691
Ooh.
531
00:37:06,692 --> 00:37:09,226
What are we gonna call you?
( chuckles )
532
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,095
What are we gonna call you?
533
00:37:11,096 --> 00:37:12,697
( both laughing )
534
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:14,900
BENNETT: Olly. Olly, heel.
535
00:37:16,702 --> 00:37:19,704
MICHAEL: I've been thinking
about the next issue of YGA.
536
00:37:19,705 --> 00:37:22,540
I think we need to address
this whole Christianity thing.
537
00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:24,008
BENNETT: What do you mean?
538
00:37:24,009 --> 00:37:27,812
Well, people think that gays
and Christians are enemies.
539
00:37:27,813 --> 00:37:32,883
We've met so many people who've managed
to balance their faith and their sexuality.
540
00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:35,953
But we've also met
so many people whose parents
541
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:38,489
and churches tell them
they're gonna burn in hell.
542
00:37:38,490 --> 00:37:41,659
Yeah, which is why we should
address it in the magazine.
543
00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:45,330
I mean, the whole "you're gay,
you're going to hell" myth
544
00:37:45,331 --> 00:37:50,200
was started by mistranslations and
misinterpretations of the Bible.
545
00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:54,772
I mean, God doesn't care
what your sexual orientation is.
546
00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:58,976
And the one thing that the gay
movement doesn't understand
547
00:37:58,977 --> 00:38:00,711
that I think Christianity does
548
00:38:00,712 --> 00:38:06,385
is that not everyone wants to
be a part of the subculture.
549
00:38:07,853 --> 00:38:10,455
I'm sorry, what did you
do with my boyfriend?
550
00:38:10,456 --> 00:38:12,222
Shut up.
551
00:38:12,223 --> 00:38:14,360
I'm not gonna write like...
552
00:38:16,895 --> 00:38:20,097
Gospel according to Michael
or something. ( Chuckles )
553
00:38:20,098 --> 00:38:21,467
♪♪
554
00:38:23,602 --> 00:38:26,604
It might seem strange
for a gay youth magazine
555
00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:30,307
to dedicate an entire issue to religion,
556
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,778
but it's too important to ignore.
557
00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:37,982
When my parents died, I blamed God.
558
00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:39,484
When I came out,
559
00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:43,654
I distanced myself even further
from religion.
560
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:48,359
You see, I thought I was
too smart to believe in God,
561
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,662
that he was only for the needy.
562
00:38:51,930 --> 00:38:53,798
But after a recent health scare,
563
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:58,503
I felt this nudging
in the back of my mind,
564
00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:01,506
The presence of God.
565
00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:03,508
And you know what?
566
00:39:03,509 --> 00:39:06,344
I was no longer afraid.
567
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:08,813
Aah!
568
00:39:08,814 --> 00:39:11,682
Some religious figures
spout hateful rhetoric
569
00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:15,219
and try to force
a monopoly on the truth.
570
00:39:15,220 --> 00:39:18,723
But the only truth is love.
571
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:22,927
The only sin is denying love.
572
00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:25,262
Stop hating.
573
00:39:25,263 --> 00:39:28,066
Start loving.
574
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:39,777
You gonna join us?
575
00:39:39,778 --> 00:39:41,780
Uh, yeah, just one second.
576
00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:50,020
What?
577
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:53,023
Uh, you're really combing
through that thing, aren't you?
578
00:39:53,024 --> 00:39:57,394
Look, my whole life, I thought
the Bible was full of hate...
579
00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:58,896
and it's not.
580
00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:01,231
There's a lot of love in here.
581
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:05,936
So your interest in the Bible
is more than just research?
582
00:40:05,937 --> 00:40:09,974
Well, there's a lot of
Christian roots in my family,
583
00:40:09,975 --> 00:40:12,477
my mom, my aunt and...
584
00:40:12,478 --> 00:40:13,878
Just curious.
585
00:40:13,879 --> 00:40:17,081
Your aunts disowned you
when you came out.
586
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:18,849
That's not family.
587
00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:20,851
I'm all for curiosity but...
588
00:40:20,852 --> 00:40:24,722
I-I just feel like
something saved me,
589
00:40:24,723 --> 00:40:27,125
shook me and woke me up.
590
00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:31,497
And that someone is God?
591
00:40:33,398 --> 00:40:38,604
Mike, he didn't save you
because you were never dying.
592
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,174
Okay.
593
00:40:46,645 --> 00:40:48,813
"Whoever finds their life will lose it,
594
00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,817
and whoever loses their life
for my sake will find it."
595
00:40:54,753 --> 00:40:58,088
"Whoever finds their life will lose it,
596
00:40:58,089 --> 00:41:02,661
and whoever loses their life
for my sake will find it."
597
00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:06,196
"Whoever finds their life will lose it,
598
00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:09,535
and whoever loses their life
for my sake will find it."
599
00:41:16,407 --> 00:41:19,443
Don't see many people
flaunting that out in the open.
600
00:41:19,444 --> 00:41:21,245
Oh.
601
00:41:21,246 --> 00:41:23,781
I've seen you reading out here before
602
00:41:23,782 --> 00:41:27,051
and I thought maybe you'd
wanna come to my church.
603
00:41:27,052 --> 00:41:31,589
Any Sunday, just to check it out.
604
00:41:31,590 --> 00:41:34,225
See what the Mormon religion
has to offer.
605
00:41:35,794 --> 00:41:41,298
The gospel teaches us
that we are the spirit children
606
00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:43,333
of heavenly parents.
607
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:49,540
Now, many people ask,
are we like other Christians?
608
00:41:49,541 --> 00:41:51,709
Why of course we are.
609
00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,044
We believe in Jesus Christ
610
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:57,548
and we believe in life after death.
611
00:41:57,549 --> 00:42:02,687
And everyone is welcome
at the LDS Church.
612
00:42:02,688 --> 00:42:06,323
Christ's atonement allows mankind
to be saved from their sins...
613
00:42:06,324 --> 00:42:10,628
and to return to live with God
and their loved ones in Heaven.
614
00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:13,330
Did you grow up with any kind of faith?
615
00:42:13,331 --> 00:42:14,665
Not really.
616
00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:16,333
My mother was Christian,
617
00:42:16,334 --> 00:42:19,770
but she didn't really take
me or my sister to church,
618
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:22,940
and my father was a Berkeley hippie,
619
00:42:22,941 --> 00:42:26,276
kind of agnostic or even atheist.
620
00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:28,145
They were very good people
621
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:32,349
and I know
I'll see them again in Heaven.
622
00:42:32,350 --> 00:42:35,219
My mom passed away as well.
623
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:37,187
So I know how hard that is.
624
00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:41,792
I was so afraid and angry, you know?
625
00:42:41,793 --> 00:42:43,794
Yeah, me, too.
626
00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:45,963
It's really hard to deal with death
627
00:42:45,964 --> 00:42:48,033
when you don't know where you're going.
628
00:42:49,534 --> 00:42:52,336
But once you do, then you have peace
629
00:42:52,337 --> 00:42:55,405
and you realize that God's not to blame.
630
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,843
Right.
Yeah.
631
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,178
GIRL: Catherine.
632
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:02,880
( chuckles )
633
00:43:02,881 --> 00:43:04,314
It was nice to meet you.
634
00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:05,250
You, too.
635
00:43:08,553 --> 00:43:11,455
She's single, FYI.
636
00:43:11,456 --> 00:43:13,791
FYI?
637
00:43:13,792 --> 00:43:15,425
What, you think she likes me?
638
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:18,629
Yeah. Yeah,
it seemed like it.
639
00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:23,634
But I mean, don't worry. There's plenty
of single ladies looking for a husband.
640
00:43:23,635 --> 00:43:27,638
I wasn't even thinking
about that kind of thing.
641
00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:31,041
Oh, well, maybe it's something
you should start thinking about.
642
00:43:31,042 --> 00:43:33,979
I can get you in touch with her
if you want.
643
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,747
Oh, um...
644
00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:38,684
If you're interested.
645
00:43:41,286 --> 00:43:42,787
Sure. I don't know.
646
00:43:42,788 --> 00:43:45,122
Yeah? Okay. Whatever. Yeah, okay.
647
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,891
All right.
Okay, thanks.
648
00:43:46,892 --> 00:43:49,027
Embarrassing me a little bit. ( Laughs )
649
00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:52,363
♪♪
650
00:44:06,511 --> 00:44:08,646
♪♪
651
00:44:14,686 --> 00:44:16,453
MAN:
Welcome back to New Beginnings
652
00:44:16,454 --> 00:44:18,989
and thank you for listening
to our continued conversation
653
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:21,158
about the truth path to Heaven.
654
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:24,695
Doctor, how would you respond
to other Christians
655
00:44:24,696 --> 00:44:26,496
who disagree with your angle?
656
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:30,200
DOCTOR: Look, all I'm trying
to do is help people.
657
00:44:30,201 --> 00:44:33,904
It just pains me so much when
I hear so-called Christians
658
00:44:33,905 --> 00:44:37,074
side with the left on issues
such as homosexuality.
659
00:44:37,075 --> 00:44:40,077
Now, I'm not condoning hate.
660
00:44:40,078 --> 00:44:42,747
In fact, this is about love.
661
00:44:42,748 --> 00:44:44,915
Choosing a gay identity will condemn you
662
00:44:44,916 --> 00:44:46,951
to an eternity of suffering.
663
00:44:46,952 --> 00:44:49,453
And I wanna save people from that.
664
00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:52,289
Whether it's abortion or adultery
665
00:44:52,290 --> 00:44:55,826
or accepting religions
other than Christianity,
666
00:44:55,827 --> 00:44:57,995
you must obey God's law
667
00:44:57,996 --> 00:45:00,999
or you will not be allowed
into his kingdom.
668
00:45:03,869 --> 00:45:07,005
( indistinct chatter )
669
00:45:40,839 --> 00:45:43,640
I'm not saying that. I'm not
saying that it's wrong.
670
00:45:43,641 --> 00:45:46,811
I'm just saying that over the
course of thousands of years,
671
00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:50,347
people with an agenda have made
Christianity what it is today.
672
00:45:50,348 --> 00:45:55,353
Yeah, but the original message is
still the same, it's about love.
673
00:45:58,223 --> 00:46:01,125
You know, I would've never
pegged you as a Buddhist.
674
00:46:01,126 --> 00:46:02,426
Why?
675
00:46:02,427 --> 00:46:04,661
What, 'cause I don't look a certain way?
676
00:46:04,662 --> 00:46:06,463
No, I...
677
00:46:06,464 --> 00:46:08,632
I don't know why I just said that.
678
00:46:08,633 --> 00:46:10,367
I'm just kidding you.
679
00:46:10,368 --> 00:46:11,635
Meditation.
680
00:46:11,636 --> 00:46:13,838
People get weird in their head
about meditation.
681
00:46:13,839 --> 00:46:15,439
They think it's weird or hippie.
682
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:19,309
I think it's about
developing mindfulness.
683
00:46:19,310 --> 00:46:21,311
You know, it's about
living moment to moment.
684
00:46:21,312 --> 00:46:25,649
And in a deeper level,
it's about knowing yourself.
685
00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:29,019
That's why I started volunteering
at the Buddhist center.
686
00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,488
They have classes on Friday.
You should come.
687
00:46:31,489 --> 00:46:36,026
Oh, I have to go out of town
for this speaking thing.
688
00:46:36,027 --> 00:46:38,195
What kind of speaking thing?
689
00:46:38,196 --> 00:46:41,065
It's about gay youth in America.
690
00:46:41,066 --> 00:46:43,201
No way. That's awesome.
691
00:47:09,794 --> 00:47:10,929
( dings )
692
00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:17,568
♪♪
693
00:47:24,809 --> 00:47:26,543
WOMAN:
Welcome to our very first panel
694
00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:28,879
on being young and gay in America.
695
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:31,215
Joining us is Judy Shepard,
696
00:47:31,216 --> 00:47:34,118
president of
the Matthew Shepard Foundation,
697
00:47:34,119 --> 00:47:36,286
dedicated to working towards causes
698
00:47:36,287 --> 00:47:39,556
championed by her son Matthew
during his life.
699
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:40,724
Thank you for joining us.
700
00:47:40,725 --> 00:47:42,860
( applause )
701
00:47:46,331 --> 00:47:49,934
Michael Glatze,
former editor of XY magazine,
702
00:47:49,935 --> 00:47:54,238
recipient of Equality Forum's
National Role Model Award
703
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,873
as well as Lambda's Literary Award
704
00:47:56,874 --> 00:47:58,608
for XY's Survival Guide,
705
00:47:58,609 --> 00:48:02,079
participant in the
award-winning documentary
706
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,413
Jim in Bold,
707
00:48:03,414 --> 00:48:05,282
and co-founder
of Young Gay Americans,
708
00:48:05,283 --> 00:48:07,484
which is now
a full-fledged magazine.
709
00:48:07,485 --> 00:48:09,254
( applause )
710
00:48:13,658 --> 00:48:15,994
WOMAN: What does being gay
mean to you?
711
00:48:17,662 --> 00:48:22,732
Gay doesn't mean the same thing
that it meant 20 years ago.
712
00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:26,103
And it's more important now than ever
713
00:48:26,104 --> 00:48:29,506
to make allies and make alliances
714
00:48:29,507 --> 00:48:33,577
both inside
and outside the gay community.
715
00:48:33,578 --> 00:48:36,147
( tape rewinding )
716
00:48:37,815 --> 00:48:42,819
Gay doesn't mean the same thing
that it meant 20 years ago.
717
00:48:42,820 --> 00:48:44,621
It's not about...
718
00:48:44,622 --> 00:48:46,391
( tape rewinding )
719
00:48:59,904 --> 00:49:02,739
♪♪
720
00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:04,675
( alarm beeping )
721
00:49:12,717 --> 00:49:13,651
( alarm stops )
722
00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:19,724
Hey.
723
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:23,561
No.
724
00:49:26,097 --> 00:49:27,732
I have to walk the dog.
725
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:37,408
♪♪
726
00:50:01,132 --> 00:50:04,135
( footsteps approaching )
727
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,139
Hey.
728
00:50:11,976 --> 00:50:14,278
What are you doing?
729
00:50:14,279 --> 00:50:18,015
I need some space.
730
00:50:19,484 --> 00:50:21,185
Mike...
Look, I just...
731
00:50:21,186 --> 00:50:22,819
I need some time to figure this out,
732
00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:24,622
to see where this is taking me.
733
00:50:26,624 --> 00:50:29,393
Why can't you come to me for help?
734
00:50:29,394 --> 00:50:31,261
We have to talk about this before...
735
00:50:31,262 --> 00:50:33,263
Look, I just...
736
00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:35,533
I need to get away from this life.
737
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,369
Our life?
Yes.
738
00:50:40,138 --> 00:50:43,340
And what exactly is it about our life that
you need to get away from, being gay?
739
00:50:43,341 --> 00:50:44,908
I don't know.
740
00:50:44,909 --> 00:50:46,410
I don't know!
741
00:50:46,411 --> 00:50:51,515
Okay, uh, are you attracted to women?
742
00:50:51,516 --> 00:50:53,817
Because if that's the case,
then fine, go explore.
743
00:50:53,818 --> 00:50:57,187
I just wanna be with my parents in
Heaven. Is that so hard to understand?
744
00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:59,389
Can you even hear yourself right now?
745
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:01,558
What happened to the
misinterpretation of the Bible?
746
00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:03,327
It's a fucking book, Mike!
747
00:51:03,328 --> 00:51:05,762
I read the Bible the same way
I read anything else,
748
00:51:05,763 --> 00:51:06,996
with an open mind and an open heart.
749
00:51:06,997 --> 00:51:09,099
Oh, is that what you call this?
750
00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:12,636
'Cause the way you're talking doesn't
exactly sound very fucking open-minded.
751
00:51:12,637 --> 00:51:18,041
This relationship has just developed
into something unhealthy.
752
00:51:18,042 --> 00:51:20,178
What does that even mean?
753
00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:23,380
Tyler?
754
00:51:23,381 --> 00:51:25,882
You were just as
interested in that as I was.
755
00:51:25,883 --> 00:51:27,217
No.
756
00:51:27,218 --> 00:51:28,585
I just wanted you to be happy
757
00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:30,187
because I was afraid
you were gonna leave.
758
00:51:30,188 --> 00:51:31,755
I was never gonna leave, Mike.
759
00:51:31,756 --> 00:51:33,223
I've stood by you.
760
00:51:33,224 --> 00:51:35,592
I've held your hand while you
were so terrified of dying
761
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:38,762
that you created illnesses
that didn't even exist.
762
00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:42,699
The truth is that I was living a lie.
763
00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:43,933
( sighs )
764
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:47,605
The truth is that God loves us...
Shut the fuck up!
765
00:51:48,673 --> 00:51:49,874
( sighs )
766
00:51:51,909 --> 00:51:53,243
Okay.
767
00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:54,445
Wait.
768
00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:03,253
( crying )
769
00:52:03,254 --> 00:52:05,390
Please don't go.
770
00:52:10,795 --> 00:52:13,431
Where are you going?
771
00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:25,475
The thing that will really kill you...
772
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:29,447
is repressing who you truly are.
773
00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:33,318
That's what you
should really be afraid of.
774
00:52:48,299 --> 00:52:51,302
( door opens and closes )
775
00:53:09,987 --> 00:53:11,922
♪♪
776
00:53:32,142 --> 00:53:34,612
( footsteps approaching )
777
00:53:42,987 --> 00:53:46,723
So he just left this here
out in the open?
778
00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:47,658
( sighs )
779
00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:54,365
( sighs )
780
00:54:01,706 --> 00:54:03,641
♪♪
781
00:54:12,049 --> 00:54:13,984
( rubbing hands together )
782
00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:30,468
( sighs )
783
00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:38,107
I have come to a decision
that will be shocking
784
00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:40,877
to anyone I used to relate to.
785
00:54:40,878 --> 00:54:42,746
♪♪
786
00:54:42,747 --> 00:54:47,417
The presence of God
has grown strong in my life.
787
00:54:47,418 --> 00:54:50,720
He told me that my panic attacks
788
00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:55,124
were caused by my shallow,
sinful lifestyle.
789
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,793
( sighs )
790
00:54:56,794 --> 00:55:01,798
I've come to the realization
that identifying as gay
791
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:05,802
prevents you from finding
your true self within.
792
00:55:05,803 --> 00:55:08,338
And we must be our true selves
793
00:55:08,339 --> 00:55:11,342
in order to join God in his kingdom.
794
00:55:12,710 --> 00:55:16,245
Therefore, I, Michael Glatze,
795
00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:19,083
no longer identify as gay.
796
00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:25,390
( sighs )
797
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,124
( sighs )
798
00:56:04,662 --> 00:56:07,196
( knuckles crack )
799
00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:09,133
( indistinct chatter )
800
00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:30,154
( sighs )
801
00:56:47,838 --> 00:56:48,773
( dings )
802
00:56:53,210 --> 00:56:54,144
( dings )
803
00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:09,059
♪♪
804
00:57:33,250 --> 00:57:35,218
Why did you do it?
805
00:57:35,219 --> 00:57:37,154
( sighs )
806
00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:41,390
"Gay activist goes straight"?
807
00:57:41,391 --> 00:57:44,528
You gave the anti-gay right
the story of their dreams.
808
00:57:44,529 --> 00:57:46,395
I don't know why.
809
00:57:46,396 --> 00:57:48,397
I don't know.
810
00:57:48,398 --> 00:57:50,133
Who pushed you?
811
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:51,635
No one.
812
00:57:51,636 --> 00:57:54,504
I just wanted to tell my story.
813
00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,640
Look, I think this all happened
814
00:57:56,641 --> 00:57:58,908
because God needed to teach me a lesson.
815
00:57:58,909 --> 00:58:02,479
That's why I'm here, to make it better.
816
00:58:06,984 --> 00:58:08,451
♪♪
817
00:58:08,452 --> 00:58:11,521
Meditation is a way of slowing down
818
00:58:11,522 --> 00:58:15,058
and developing kindness
towards yourself.
819
00:58:15,059 --> 00:58:20,597
Through mindfulness practice,
we develop strength of mind.
820
00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:22,932
We become more present
821
00:58:22,933 --> 00:58:26,070
and we learn to appreciate our world.
822
00:58:31,475 --> 00:58:34,978
God works in mysterious ways.
823
00:58:34,979 --> 00:58:36,980
He has sent me to a place
824
00:58:36,981 --> 00:58:39,783
where I can get away
from the physical world
825
00:58:39,784 --> 00:58:42,652
so that I can focus on my true self...
826
00:58:42,653 --> 00:58:45,655
A happier, healthier man,
827
00:58:45,656 --> 00:58:48,292
free of unnatural desires.
828
00:58:52,697 --> 00:58:53,831
( indistinct chatter )
829
00:58:56,466 --> 00:59:00,837
At first, I didn't understand
why God would send a Christian
830
00:59:00,838 --> 00:59:03,707
to a Buddhist retreat.
831
00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:06,711
But I have faith in his plan for me.
832
00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:13,850
♪♪
833
00:59:13,851 --> 00:59:15,852
Desire is powerful.
834
00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:19,222
And God is testing me.
835
00:59:19,223 --> 00:59:23,728
But I refuse to give in to temptation.
836
00:59:29,033 --> 00:59:30,900
I've come to the realization
837
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,903
that God wants me to use meditation
838
00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:37,908
to rid myself of abnormal desires.
839
00:59:39,009 --> 00:59:42,278
God gave Buddha the light to be Buddha.
840
00:59:42,279 --> 00:59:43,346
He did.
841
00:59:43,347 --> 00:59:45,882
Michael, what are you talking about?
842
00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:50,553
I just want us to be on the
right path for our future,
843
00:59:50,554 --> 00:59:53,356
for our health, for the afterlife.
844
00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:57,326
I am on the right path, okay?
My path.
845
00:59:57,327 --> 00:59:59,263
♪♪
846
01:00:07,071 --> 01:00:09,206
Michael, I...
I'm sorry.
847
01:00:11,909 --> 01:00:13,744
I'm sorry, Nico.
848
01:00:32,763 --> 01:00:34,063
MICHAEL:
It's the same kind of strength
849
01:00:34,064 --> 01:00:37,200
that you need
to-to clear your mind.
850
01:00:37,201 --> 01:00:41,037
You know, we just, we need
to find that strength
851
01:00:41,038 --> 01:00:45,474
to fight what we both know
in our hearts is wrong.
852
01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,776
We just have to fight it.
853
01:00:46,777 --> 01:00:48,377
Stop, Michael. Stop.
854
01:00:48,378 --> 01:00:50,247
No, I mean...
855
01:00:59,456 --> 01:01:01,124
Michael, you're confused.
856
01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:04,895
You're very confused
and it's at my expense.
857
01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:08,398
( engine starts )
858
01:01:13,203 --> 01:01:15,139
♪♪
859
01:01:16,974 --> 01:01:19,109
( van drives away )
860
01:01:30,487 --> 01:01:31,821
( sighs )
861
01:01:31,822 --> 01:01:34,490
People have been asking how I am.
862
01:01:34,491 --> 01:01:36,826
Some out of support.
863
01:01:36,827 --> 01:01:39,628
Others who think I've reconsidered.
864
01:01:39,629 --> 01:01:44,433
I've come to the realization
that Bennett represents soul,
865
01:01:44,434 --> 01:01:49,572
Tyler represents body,
Nico represents mind.
866
01:01:49,573 --> 01:01:53,242
Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
867
01:01:53,243 --> 01:01:55,945
I guess God need me
to complete the Trinity
868
01:01:55,946 --> 01:01:58,948
in order to move on.
869
01:01:58,949 --> 01:02:01,117
So I'm ready to set the record straight.
870
01:02:01,118 --> 01:02:05,822
I was a heterosexual person
with a homosexual problem,
871
01:02:05,823 --> 01:02:08,157
and I took care of that problem.
872
01:02:08,158 --> 01:02:11,061
I have not reconsidered.
873
01:02:12,196 --> 01:02:15,564
A good number of people
have come forward
874
01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:17,066
and expressed their concern
875
01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,068
about your being involved
with this organization.
876
01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:22,438
This center is supposed
to accept everyone.
877
01:02:22,439 --> 01:02:24,240
Yes, and we do.
878
01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:26,575
We welcome people of all beliefs,
879
01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:29,445
but we don't tolerate hate.
880
01:02:29,446 --> 01:02:32,248
I don't hate anybody.
881
01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:36,452
Michael, you've written what some
would call very hateful things.
882
01:02:36,453 --> 01:02:39,957
Those are my beliefs.
883
01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:42,758
Are you okay?
884
01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,760
Yeah.
885
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:47,630
Are you okay?
886
01:02:47,631 --> 01:02:49,332
( sighs )
887
01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:50,566
I don't know...
888
01:02:50,567 --> 01:02:54,770
I don't understand
what has changed, but I, uh...
889
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,573
Here we practice compassion.
890
01:02:57,574 --> 01:03:02,245
And I'm just, I'm afraid
this isn't gonna work out.
891
01:03:02,246 --> 01:03:07,316
So, because I'm Christian
and I express my opinions...
892
01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,819
I have to leave.
893
01:03:09,820 --> 01:03:13,423
That's so messed up.
894
01:03:25,702 --> 01:03:27,471
♪♪
895
01:03:50,727 --> 01:03:52,395
LAURA: That's really everything?
896
01:03:52,396 --> 01:03:54,931
Your whole life is in that one bag?
897
01:03:54,932 --> 01:03:57,267
MICHAEL: Yeah.
898
01:04:00,437 --> 01:04:02,939
Do you think you'll stay here?
899
01:04:02,940 --> 01:04:08,477
I mean, San Francisco can't
be the best place for an...
900
01:04:08,478 --> 01:04:10,279
ex-gay.
901
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:16,252
I'm not an ex-gay.
I'm just me.
902
01:04:16,253 --> 01:04:19,255
Honestly, I thought you'd be happy.
903
01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:21,457
I mean, you never really approved.
904
01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,259
That's not true.
905
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:26,795
Then why haven't we been close?
906
01:04:26,796 --> 01:04:28,597
I mean, you're my sister.
907
01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:31,601
We're supposed to be there
for each other.
908
01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:36,039
We can be close now.
909
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:38,374
I'm glad you're here.
910
01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:44,381
And I want you to be happy...
Loving whomever.
911
01:04:45,849 --> 01:04:46,849
Yeah?
912
01:04:46,850 --> 01:04:48,551
Yeah.
913
01:04:48,552 --> 01:04:51,021
( exhales deeply )
914
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,160
♪♪
915
01:05:46,676 --> 01:05:48,677
♪♪
916
01:05:48,678 --> 01:05:51,148
( indistinct chatter )
917
01:06:15,939 --> 01:06:17,074
( chuckles )
918
01:06:33,957 --> 01:06:35,958
I'm sorry.
919
01:06:35,959 --> 01:06:37,293
No, I can't.
What?
920
01:06:37,294 --> 01:06:39,295
No, I'm sorry. Uh...
921
01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:41,797
What happened?
I can't. Um...
922
01:06:41,798 --> 01:06:45,135
It's not you, it's...
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
923
01:06:47,671 --> 01:06:49,338
( door opens )
924
01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:52,276
♪♪
925
01:06:55,045 --> 01:06:57,181
( indistinct chatter )
926
01:07:21,004 --> 01:07:22,139
( phone beeps )
927
01:07:25,008 --> 01:07:26,310
( ringing )
928
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,747
( ringing )
929
01:07:31,748 --> 01:07:36,086
Olly, it's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
930
01:07:42,159 --> 01:07:43,460
BENNETT: Hello?
931
01:07:46,963 --> 01:07:50,100
( panting )
932
01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:53,736
Michael?
933
01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:55,672
MICHAEL: Bennett.
934
01:07:58,575 --> 01:07:59,742
( sighs )
935
01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:01,311
Where are you?
936
01:08:02,379 --> 01:08:03,847
Are you okay?
937
01:08:07,217 --> 01:08:08,217
Michael?
938
01:08:08,218 --> 01:08:10,219
I have to go.
939
01:08:10,220 --> 01:08:12,689
Wait, why did you call me, Michael?
940
01:08:15,625 --> 01:08:17,261
( scoffs )
941
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:23,732
( sighs )
942
01:08:23,733 --> 01:08:27,936
To my friends who are trapped
in homosexuality,
943
01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:30,573
I wanna thank you for your kind comments
944
01:08:30,574 --> 01:08:34,009
and keen observations regarding my story
945
01:08:34,010 --> 01:08:38,381
and my revelation that
I am no longer homosexual
946
01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:40,716
and am now heterosexual.
947
01:08:40,717 --> 01:08:45,421
The gay identity has been
packaged and fed to you,
948
01:08:45,422 --> 01:08:49,592
and if you identify as gay
then you have eaten it,
949
01:08:49,593 --> 01:08:52,127
preventing you from further growth
950
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:55,030
and understanding of your true self.
951
01:08:55,031 --> 01:08:58,934
But it's not too late to save yourself.
952
01:08:58,935 --> 01:09:01,437
If you follow my lead.
953
01:09:01,438 --> 01:09:05,974
I am confident.
I am blessed.
954
01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:07,943
I am strong.
955
01:09:07,944 --> 01:09:13,148
I am ready to give up my life for Christ
956
01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:16,620
in order to find my true self.
957
01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:23,693
( sighs )
958
01:09:28,865 --> 01:09:30,800
( birds chirping )
959
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:10,974
( sighs )
960
01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:27,690
You sure you don't want a coffee?
961
01:10:27,691 --> 01:10:30,627
I don't drink coffee anymore.
962
01:10:35,899 --> 01:10:37,232
You're well?
963
01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,101
Yeah. Why?
964
01:10:39,102 --> 01:10:41,605
Just asking.
965
01:10:42,706 --> 01:10:47,844
I'm great.
I've never been better.
966
01:10:50,547 --> 01:10:53,550
Well, I just wanted to see
how you're doing.
967
01:10:55,752 --> 01:10:57,854
So does Bennett.
968
01:10:58,922 --> 01:11:00,356
Hmm.
969
01:11:00,357 --> 01:11:02,859
I wish I could understand
what you're going through.
970
01:11:05,395 --> 01:11:08,331
I just don't want to be perceived as gay
971
01:11:08,332 --> 01:11:11,099
for the rest of my experiences.
972
01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:13,803
It's that simple.
973
01:11:16,406 --> 01:11:19,542
Are you still with Bennett?
974
01:11:19,543 --> 01:11:21,143
No.
975
01:11:21,144 --> 01:11:27,350
I'm, uh, going to Europe
to study space science.
976
01:11:27,351 --> 01:11:29,385
That's great.
977
01:11:29,386 --> 01:11:31,554
I'm going to Bible school.
978
01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:34,023
God told me to become a pastor.
979
01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:48,070
I don't want to open
old wounds or anything,
980
01:11:48,071 --> 01:11:53,943
but I also don't know when
I'll ever see you again.
981
01:11:55,912 --> 01:11:58,415
I want you to know
how much you meant to me.
982
01:12:04,788 --> 01:12:08,491
I know you don't care anymore.
983
01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:12,027
But I needed to say it.
984
01:12:12,028 --> 01:12:15,030
For closure.
985
01:12:15,031 --> 01:12:17,165
( sighs )
986
01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,468
( sniffles )
987
01:12:19,469 --> 01:12:22,204
This whole thing...
988
01:12:22,205 --> 01:12:25,509
it broke my heart.
989
01:12:27,310 --> 01:12:29,845
Tyler...
990
01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:33,516
I'm sorry.
991
01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:36,786
But I need to live for myself now.
992
01:12:40,023 --> 01:12:40,957
Okay.
993
01:12:46,262 --> 01:12:47,397
Okay.
994
01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,467
Take care.
995
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,810
( sighs )
996
01:13:10,420 --> 01:13:12,556
( birds chirping )
997
01:13:41,017 --> 01:13:44,319
MAN: Now, sometimes somebody's
gonna ask you what you believe.
998
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:46,555
They're gonna say, "You're a Christian,
999
01:13:46,556 --> 01:13:48,724
all right,
what do you believe?"
1000
01:13:48,725 --> 01:13:52,728
Maybe they're an atheist
or a agnostic or a Muslim
1001
01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:55,931
or a Buddha, you know,
who knows what they are?
1002
01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:58,934
And you better be ready to tell 'em.
1003
01:13:58,935 --> 01:14:02,104
We believe the Bible is the Word of God,
1004
01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:07,843
the supreme, final authority
in life and in our faith.
1005
01:14:07,844 --> 01:14:11,179
We believe in one God,
1006
01:14:11,180 --> 01:14:14,182
eternally existing in three persons,
1007
01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:16,752
the Father, the Son,
and the Holy Spirit.
1008
01:14:16,753 --> 01:14:20,288
And we believe the sole condition
1009
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:23,091
for receiving everlasting life
1010
01:14:23,092 --> 01:14:29,933
is belief and faith alone
in the Lord Jesus Christ.
1011
01:14:32,435 --> 01:14:34,571
♪♪
1012
01:15:07,604 --> 01:15:10,206
( indistinct chatter )
1013
01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:16,111
Thank you.
1014
01:15:16,112 --> 01:15:17,947
I'll have one of those, please.
1015
01:15:31,661 --> 01:15:32,828
Hi, I'm Michael.
1016
01:15:32,829 --> 01:15:35,131
Uh, hi, I'm Rebekah.
1017
01:15:37,133 --> 01:15:40,335
( chuckles ) Guess we
like all the same things.
1018
01:15:40,336 --> 01:15:41,638
( chuckles )
1019
01:15:42,672 --> 01:15:44,840
I love it here.
1020
01:15:44,841 --> 01:15:47,009
I mean, I never though
I'd end up in Wyoming,
1021
01:15:47,010 --> 01:15:50,746
but I feel like I've
finally found my niche.
1022
01:15:50,747 --> 01:15:52,982
Where'd you think you'd end up?
1023
01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:58,020
That's a good question.
I don't know.
1024
01:15:58,021 --> 01:16:01,657
All I know is that I've
always wanted to help people,
1025
01:16:01,658 --> 01:16:05,594
because some people struggle so much
1026
01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:08,964
when the solution
is actually very simple.
1027
01:16:08,965 --> 01:16:11,466
It's right there in Matthew 10,
1028
01:16:11,467 --> 01:16:15,704
the road may not be easy,
but if we give up our lives
1029
01:16:15,705 --> 01:16:21,210
for Christ, then we'll find
our true selves.
1030
01:16:28,384 --> 01:16:30,552
Where did you go to college?
1031
01:16:30,553 --> 01:16:31,920
Dartmouth.
1032
01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:33,255
Wow.
1033
01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:35,090
And you majored in music?
1034
01:16:35,091 --> 01:16:38,260
In creative writing
and English literature,
1035
01:16:38,261 --> 01:16:41,797
but I minored in music
theory and composition.
1036
01:16:41,798 --> 01:16:45,500
( chuckles )
That must've kept you busy.
1037
01:16:45,501 --> 01:16:47,469
What kind of stuff did you write?
1038
01:16:47,470 --> 01:16:51,674
Well, my thesis
was all poetry, actually.
1039
01:16:51,675 --> 01:16:54,542
Can I read some?
1040
01:16:54,543 --> 01:16:56,344
Oh, I don't have it anymore.
1041
01:16:56,345 --> 01:17:00,248
My poetry is from a different life.
1042
01:17:00,249 --> 01:17:01,850
But I, um...
1043
01:17:01,851 --> 01:17:06,722
I'm so interested in music now
because it transcends language.
1044
01:17:06,723 --> 01:17:10,258
You know, it's like people
don't have to argue about it
1045
01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:12,460
or judge it or misinterpret it.
1046
01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:14,262
They can just listen.
1047
01:17:14,263 --> 01:17:17,199
You know, I just play
and they just listen.
1048
01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,333
You know?
1049
01:17:18,334 --> 01:17:20,635
I don't know if I do, to be honest,
1050
01:17:20,636 --> 01:17:23,972
but the way you say it, I want to.
1051
01:17:23,973 --> 01:17:26,308
I'm sorry, I'm just blabbing.
What about you?
1052
01:17:26,309 --> 01:17:29,912
No, don't be sorry!
You're not blabbing. Um...
1053
01:17:29,913 --> 01:17:31,613
I majored in theater.
1054
01:17:31,614 --> 01:17:33,415
Theater? Really?
Yeah.
1055
01:17:33,416 --> 01:17:37,953
Yeah, it was really fun, but
it's not like it's a real job.
1056
01:17:37,954 --> 01:17:41,123
I actually stage managed
a little bit after college,
1057
01:17:41,124 --> 01:17:45,127
but I don't know, I felt adrift.
1058
01:17:45,128 --> 01:17:50,198
So I came here,
hoping to figure out my path.
1059
01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:52,534
Me, too.
1060
01:17:52,535 --> 01:17:54,670
♪♪
1061
01:17:57,807 --> 01:17:58,942
( dings )
1062
01:18:06,349 --> 01:18:08,284
( typing )
1063
01:18:15,825 --> 01:18:16,960
( dings )
1064
01:18:26,269 --> 01:18:27,203
( dings )
1065
01:18:34,510 --> 01:18:37,013
( sighs )
1066
01:18:40,116 --> 01:18:43,085
♪♪
1067
01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:45,420
I can't believe you've never had sushi.
1068
01:18:45,421 --> 01:18:48,423
Who hasn't had sushi?
It's crazy.
1069
01:18:48,424 --> 01:18:50,425
Mm.
1070
01:18:50,426 --> 01:18:51,659
Oh, no.
1071
01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:52,660
( laughs )
1072
01:18:52,661 --> 01:18:53,661
You don't like it.
1073
01:18:53,662 --> 01:18:54,662
I'm sorry.
1074
01:18:54,663 --> 01:18:56,932
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1075
01:18:56,933 --> 01:18:58,934
Oh...
I'm sorry.
1076
01:18:58,935 --> 01:19:01,804
No, I used to hate it
when my ex did that.
1077
01:19:01,805 --> 01:19:04,139
Always making decisions.
1078
01:19:04,140 --> 01:19:06,775
We can go somewhere else.
No.
1079
01:19:06,776 --> 01:19:08,643
No, no, no.
No, it's okay.
1080
01:19:08,644 --> 01:19:09,978
Are you sure?
1081
01:19:09,979 --> 01:19:13,982
Yes. Yeah.
You like it. It's fine.
1082
01:19:13,983 --> 01:19:16,119
( chuckles )
1083
01:19:17,887 --> 01:19:23,558
Uh, how, um, how long ago
was the ex you mentioned?
1084
01:19:23,559 --> 01:19:27,029
Oh. It was a long time ago.
It was, uh...
1085
01:19:27,030 --> 01:19:29,031
I don't know why I brought that up.
1086
01:19:29,032 --> 01:19:30,899
It was stupid.
1087
01:19:30,900 --> 01:19:33,601
Well, um, was it serious?
1088
01:19:33,602 --> 01:19:36,039
Were you gonna marry her?
1089
01:19:38,074 --> 01:19:42,545
It was serious,
but, um, no, not marriage.
1090
01:19:44,580 --> 01:19:46,915
What about you?
1091
01:19:46,916 --> 01:19:48,884
Oh, no, I've...
1092
01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:51,386
I've never been in
a serious relationship.
1093
01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:56,258
My parents are very, very conservative.
1094
01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:58,593
Do you think they'd approve of me?
1095
01:19:58,594 --> 01:20:02,297
( chuckles ) The future pastor
I met at Bible school?
1096
01:20:02,298 --> 01:20:04,867
Yes, I think they'd approve.
1097
01:20:04,868 --> 01:20:06,870
( both chuckle )
1098
01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,411
♪♪
1099
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,254
( chuckles )
1100
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:29,258
( chuckles )
1101
01:20:30,860 --> 01:20:32,996
♪♪
1102
01:20:40,970 --> 01:20:42,205
Rebekah.
1103
01:20:43,272 --> 01:20:44,272
Hi.
1104
01:20:44,273 --> 01:20:46,275
Hi.
1105
01:20:47,643 --> 01:20:49,611
What?
1106
01:20:49,612 --> 01:20:51,413
I just...
1107
01:20:51,414 --> 01:20:54,582
Since when do you wear shirts like that?
1108
01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:58,586
What? It's not inappropriate
and it's hot out.
1109
01:20:58,587 --> 01:21:03,326
You're here to serve our Lord,
not distract our men.
1110
01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:08,096
I don't think I'm distracting anyone.
1111
01:21:08,097 --> 01:21:10,265
Is this about Michael?
1112
01:21:10,266 --> 01:21:14,269
We are not letting what we have
get in the way of our studies.
1113
01:21:14,270 --> 01:21:17,206
Besides, the Lord brought us together.
1114
01:21:18,141 --> 01:21:20,675
It's about his past.
1115
01:21:20,676 --> 01:21:22,145
What about it?
1116
01:21:23,679 --> 01:21:26,115
You really don't know?
1117
01:21:27,550 --> 01:21:29,952
( chuckles ) Know what?
1118
01:21:29,953 --> 01:21:32,088
( typing )
1119
01:21:38,427 --> 01:21:41,230
( sighs )
1120
01:21:50,873 --> 01:21:52,040
( whispering ) Rebekah.
1121
01:21:52,041 --> 01:21:53,608
( whispering ) Oh. Hi.
1122
01:21:53,609 --> 01:21:55,543
( whispering )
Are we still meeting?
1123
01:21:55,544 --> 01:21:58,880
( whispering ) Yeah, just let me
finish this. I'll be right there.
1124
01:21:58,881 --> 01:22:01,950
( whispering ) Okay.
I'll be in the cafeteria.
1125
01:22:01,951 --> 01:22:03,419
( whispering ) Okay.
1126
01:22:05,888 --> 01:22:07,523
( sighs )
1127
01:22:11,894 --> 01:22:13,229
( sighs )
1128
01:22:23,239 --> 01:22:25,541
I have something I have to tell you.
1129
01:22:29,745 --> 01:22:32,081
You already know, don't you?
1130
01:22:36,085 --> 01:22:38,753
Are you still attracted to men?
1131
01:22:38,754 --> 01:22:41,156
No.
1132
01:22:41,157 --> 01:22:44,359
It's in the past.
1133
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:45,693
Okay, I...
1134
01:22:45,694 --> 01:22:47,195
God showed me the light.
1135
01:22:47,196 --> 01:22:49,697
He showed me the truth.
1136
01:22:49,698 --> 01:22:53,768
A lot of people have pasts
they're not proud of,
1137
01:22:53,769 --> 01:22:57,506
but God forgives, right?
1138
01:22:59,108 --> 01:23:02,444
My life has changed so much
since I've met you.
1139
01:23:02,445 --> 01:23:05,613
And my feelings for you are real.
1140
01:23:05,614 --> 01:23:10,118
My feelings for you are real, too.
1141
01:23:10,119 --> 01:23:16,124
But I feel like we should just keep
hanging out and see what happens.
1142
01:23:16,125 --> 01:23:20,128
Maybe not settle on
anything too specific.
1143
01:23:20,129 --> 01:23:22,398
If that's okay.
1144
01:23:23,799 --> 01:23:25,734
Okay.
1145
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:39,181
( exhales deeply )
1146
01:23:39,182 --> 01:23:40,649
( footsteps approaching )
1147
01:23:52,995 --> 01:23:56,199
Hi, I'm Michael.
1148
01:24:08,611 --> 01:24:10,546
♪♪
1149
01:24:31,667 --> 01:24:37,539
Now, I wanna tell you a little secret
1150
01:24:37,540 --> 01:24:41,810
about a great gift from God.
1151
01:24:43,379 --> 01:24:45,713
This gift is a human emotion
1152
01:24:45,714 --> 01:24:49,852
and considered destructive
by the enemies of God.
1153
01:24:54,223 --> 01:24:56,224
Fear.
1154
01:24:56,225 --> 01:25:01,929
You can never, never, never stop
1155
01:25:01,930 --> 01:25:04,966
fearing yourself.
1156
01:25:04,967 --> 01:25:09,637
We are our own worst enemies.
1157
01:25:09,638 --> 01:25:15,644
And we must fear ourselves till
the day we meet God himself.
1158
01:25:17,613 --> 01:25:22,817
God didn't put us here to live
our lives in constant fear.
1159
01:25:22,818 --> 01:25:24,152
No, of course not.
1160
01:25:24,153 --> 01:25:28,022
And then he scolded me
for asking questions.
1161
01:25:28,023 --> 01:25:29,224
REBEKAH:
Well, that's not fair.
1162
01:25:29,225 --> 01:25:30,425
We're here to learn
1163
01:25:30,426 --> 01:25:31,826
and we learn in part
by asking questions.
1164
01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:35,397
No, we're here to serve God,
not to identify
1165
01:25:35,398 --> 01:25:39,402
as the exact kind of Christians
they want us to be.
1166
01:25:40,936 --> 01:25:42,370
I'm sorry.
1167
01:25:42,371 --> 01:25:44,172
REBEKAH: Don't be.
1168
01:25:44,173 --> 01:25:48,177
You know what's best because
that's God speaking through you.
1169
01:25:55,284 --> 01:25:57,753
You wanted to see me?
1170
01:25:59,455 --> 01:26:02,257
Now, you've been rallying
the students against us
1171
01:26:02,258 --> 01:26:05,828
as though you're being
controlled by the devil himself.
1172
01:26:08,464 --> 01:26:11,466
I've learned a lot about the Bible here,
1173
01:26:11,467 --> 01:26:13,468
and for that I thank you.
1174
01:26:13,469 --> 01:26:19,073
But I refuse to be controlled
by anyone other than God.
1175
01:26:19,074 --> 01:26:20,875
I follow my own path.
1176
01:26:20,876 --> 01:26:23,546
Yeah, and you want others to follow you.
1177
01:26:25,481 --> 01:26:27,982
Perhaps it's best
if we mail you your diploma
1178
01:26:27,983 --> 01:26:30,819
and that you not attend the ceremony.
1179
01:26:36,325 --> 01:26:39,026
I don't know if I can stay here anymore.
1180
01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:40,963
Oh. Where will we go?
1181
01:26:42,998 --> 01:26:44,467
We?
1182
01:26:46,502 --> 01:26:50,838
Uh, I've been praying about it.
1183
01:26:50,839 --> 01:26:54,108
About us.
1184
01:26:54,109 --> 01:27:00,848
I told God how I feel about you
and how much you mean to me.
1185
01:27:00,849 --> 01:27:02,717
And you know what?
1186
01:27:02,718 --> 01:27:05,219
( sighs )
1187
01:27:05,220 --> 01:27:08,323
I was consumed with nothing but peace.
1188
01:27:08,324 --> 01:27:11,693
Pure peace.
1189
01:27:11,694 --> 01:27:14,862
( sighs )
1190
01:27:14,863 --> 01:27:17,265
I love you.
1191
01:27:17,266 --> 01:27:19,402
I love you, too.
1192
01:27:53,235 --> 01:27:55,737
And be not conformed to this world.
1193
01:27:55,738 --> 01:27:59,741
But be you transformed
by the renewing of your mind,
1194
01:27:59,742 --> 01:28:05,112
that you may prove that good, glorious,
1195
01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:07,982
and perfect will of God.
1196
01:28:07,983 --> 01:28:09,784
( sighs )
1197
01:28:09,785 --> 01:28:13,488
That you may know that good, acceptable,
1198
01:28:13,489 --> 01:28:15,624
and perfect will of God.
1199
01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:25,434
♪♪
1200
01:28:45,921 --> 01:28:52,326
PAUL: Which would you prefer to have?
Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops?
1201
01:28:52,327 --> 01:28:54,028
Well, obviously Fruit Loops.
1202
01:28:54,029 --> 01:28:55,497
Why? Why obviously?
1203
01:28:55,498 --> 01:28:57,500
Well, you're a Fruit Loop.
1204
01:29:01,303 --> 01:29:05,107
( indistinct chatter )
1205
01:29:17,486 --> 01:29:19,353
There you are.
1206
01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:20,989
Are you okay?
1207
01:29:22,224 --> 01:29:24,527
Yeah, I'm fine.
1208
01:29:29,665 --> 01:29:31,032
Okay, got 'em.
1209
01:29:31,033 --> 01:29:31,967
( chuckles )
1210
01:29:34,503 --> 01:29:36,037
You get everything?
1211
01:29:36,038 --> 01:29:37,072
Mm-hmm.
1212
01:29:40,342 --> 01:29:42,845
ANTHONY:
These are going to storage.
1213
01:29:47,049 --> 01:29:47,983
( sighs )
1214
01:29:50,152 --> 01:29:53,521
Well, so you can have a little
more room for your shoes?
1215
01:29:53,522 --> 01:29:55,022
Shut up.
1216
01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:57,659
I have never seen anyone
with more shoes than you.
1217
01:29:57,660 --> 01:29:59,795
You can never have too many shoes.
1218
01:30:12,074 --> 01:30:13,709
Get those out of here.
1219
01:30:26,221 --> 01:30:28,691
( phone rings )
1220
01:30:33,228 --> 01:30:34,395
Hello?
1221
01:30:34,396 --> 01:30:35,698
MICHAEL: Hi.
1222
01:30:39,234 --> 01:30:40,468
( papers drop )
1223
01:30:40,469 --> 01:30:42,638
Hi.
1224
01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:46,273
How are you?
1225
01:30:46,274 --> 01:30:48,610
Good.
1226
01:30:48,611 --> 01:30:51,112
I finished school.
1227
01:30:51,113 --> 01:30:53,949
But I'm no longer on their path.
1228
01:30:55,751 --> 01:30:59,453
So what path are you on now?
1229
01:30:59,454 --> 01:31:01,355
My own.
1230
01:31:01,356 --> 01:31:04,560
I'm going to be the pastor
of my own church.
1231
01:31:08,263 --> 01:31:09,263
( sighs )
1232
01:31:09,264 --> 01:31:11,866
Why are you calling?
1233
01:31:11,867 --> 01:31:12,801
Um...
1234
01:31:14,436 --> 01:31:16,771
I, uh...
1235
01:31:16,772 --> 01:31:19,440
I got the picture you sent of Olly.
1236
01:31:19,441 --> 01:31:21,643
I know it was months ago,
but I didn't respond.
1237
01:31:21,644 --> 01:31:24,512
So how is she?
1238
01:31:24,513 --> 01:31:25,847
( sighs )
1239
01:31:25,848 --> 01:31:28,049
Oh, she's getting old.
1240
01:31:28,050 --> 01:31:29,316
But she's okay.
1241
01:31:29,317 --> 01:31:30,918
She has this
1242
01:31:30,919 --> 01:31:33,721
stuffed animal that she
carries around with her now
1243
01:31:33,722 --> 01:31:36,057
everywhere she goes like it's her baby.
1244
01:31:36,058 --> 01:31:37,324
( chuckles )
1245
01:31:37,325 --> 01:31:39,762
( chuckles )
1246
01:31:41,997 --> 01:31:43,798
Bennett...
1247
01:31:43,799 --> 01:31:47,334
I should tell you
before someone else does.
1248
01:31:47,335 --> 01:31:48,804
I'm engaged.
1249
01:31:50,005 --> 01:31:53,676
To a...
really amazing woman.
1250
01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:57,411
Now, I know what you're thinking because
1251
01:31:57,412 --> 01:31:59,847
I asked myself the same thing...
1252
01:31:59,848 --> 01:32:01,849
Am I really in love with her
1253
01:32:01,850 --> 01:32:06,353
or am I only doing this
to be right in God's eyes?
1254
01:32:06,354 --> 01:32:10,693
And I'm truly in love with her, Bennett.
1255
01:32:12,761 --> 01:32:15,930
God went to the root
of my same sex desires
1256
01:32:15,931 --> 01:32:17,932
and he uprooted them.
1257
01:32:17,933 --> 01:32:21,468
He demonstrated that they were abnormal.
1258
01:32:21,469 --> 01:32:22,937
Michael...
1259
01:32:22,938 --> 01:32:26,642
I'm really glad you think you're happy.
1260
01:32:28,844 --> 01:32:30,712
And I wish you all the best.
1261
01:32:30,713 --> 01:32:33,480
I really do.
I think you know that.
1262
01:32:33,481 --> 01:32:37,685
But I have no idea
why you would call me up
1263
01:32:37,686 --> 01:32:39,822
and use words like "abnormal."
1264
01:32:42,157 --> 01:32:46,360
I'm so sorry for the way
that things went down.
1265
01:32:46,361 --> 01:32:49,396
But just because we don't
1266
01:32:49,397 --> 01:32:51,032
share certain beliefs,
1267
01:32:51,033 --> 01:32:54,870
it doesn't mean that
we can't still be friends.
1268
01:32:57,873 --> 01:33:00,008
I'll always be your friend.
1269
01:33:02,544 --> 01:33:06,047
And I really hope that this path
1270
01:33:06,048 --> 01:33:08,350
takes you where you wanna go.
1271
01:33:10,318 --> 01:33:13,988
But I also hope that...
1272
01:33:13,989 --> 01:33:17,091
as you're setting out
to help other people...
1273
01:33:17,092 --> 01:33:20,595
that you really take some time
to help yourself.
1274
01:33:23,799 --> 01:33:27,301
I-I am. I...
1275
01:33:27,302 --> 01:33:30,838
I'm not gonna sit here
and say that I know
1276
01:33:30,839 --> 01:33:34,041
I'll be this way
for the rest of my life.
1277
01:33:34,042 --> 01:33:37,578
We're always changing, evolving.
1278
01:33:37,579 --> 01:33:40,248
And I'm open to that.
1279
01:33:43,418 --> 01:33:45,419
( sighs )
1280
01:33:45,420 --> 01:33:48,222
Then...
1281
01:33:48,223 --> 01:33:52,126
I guess nothing's really changed.
1282
01:33:52,127 --> 01:33:54,930
Yeah.
1283
01:33:56,131 --> 01:33:58,400
You take care of yourself, okay?
1284
01:34:01,436 --> 01:34:03,706
Goodbye, Michael.
1285
01:34:07,309 --> 01:34:08,442
Bye.
1286
01:34:08,443 --> 01:34:09,377
( phone beeps )
1287
01:34:13,315 --> 01:34:14,950
( sighs )
1288
01:34:27,996 --> 01:34:29,932
♪♪
1289
01:34:49,484 --> 01:34:50,953
( doors open )
1290
01:34:52,487 --> 01:34:53,755
( music stops )
1291
01:34:53,756 --> 01:34:55,757
REBEKAH: Here they come.
1292
01:34:55,758 --> 01:34:57,893
( footsteps approaching )
1293
01:35:01,363 --> 01:35:03,298
♪♪
1294
01:35:53,882 --> 01:35:56,018
( panting )
1295
01:36:06,528 --> 01:36:12,266
♪ Every finger in the room
is pointing at me ♪
1296
01:36:12,267 --> 01:36:15,136
♪ I wanna spit in their faces
1297
01:36:15,137 --> 01:36:18,005
♪ Then I get afraid
of what that could bring ♪
1298
01:36:18,006 --> 01:36:20,875
♪ I got a bowling ball in my stomach ♪
1299
01:36:20,876 --> 01:36:23,544
♪ I got a desert in my mouth
1300
01:36:23,545 --> 01:36:29,283
♪ Figures that my courage
would choose to sell out now ♪
1301
01:36:29,284 --> 01:36:34,822
♪ I've been looking for a savior
in these dirty streets ♪
1302
01:36:34,823 --> 01:36:40,561
♪ Looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1303
01:36:40,562 --> 01:36:43,630
♪ I've been raising up my hands ♪
1304
01:36:43,631 --> 01:36:46,500
♪ Drive another nail in
1305
01:36:46,501 --> 01:36:49,136
♪ Just what God needs
1306
01:36:49,137 --> 01:36:52,006
♪ One more victim
1307
01:36:52,007 --> 01:36:57,744
♪ Why do we crucify ourselves?
1308
01:36:57,745 --> 01:37:00,614
♪ Every day
1309
01:37:00,615 --> 01:37:02,884
♪ I crucify myself
1310
01:37:02,885 --> 01:37:05,887
♪ Nothing I do is good enough for you ♪
1311
01:37:05,888 --> 01:37:08,622
♪ Crucify myself
1312
01:37:08,623 --> 01:37:11,458
♪ Every day
1313
01:37:11,459 --> 01:37:14,295
♪ I crucify myself
1314
01:37:14,296 --> 01:37:17,164
♪ My heart is sick of being
1315
01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:24,338
♪ I said my heart
is sick of being in chains ♪
1316
01:37:24,339 --> 01:37:25,772
♪ Oh, oh
1317
01:37:25,773 --> 01:37:29,843
♪ Chains
1318
01:37:29,844 --> 01:37:32,113
♪ Oh, oh
1319
01:37:32,114 --> 01:37:34,181
♪ Got a kick for a dog
1320
01:37:34,182 --> 01:37:37,251
♪ Beggin' for love ♪
1321
01:37:37,252 --> 01:37:40,121
♪ I gotta have my suffering
1322
01:37:40,122 --> 01:37:42,990
♪ So that I can have my cross
1323
01:37:42,991 --> 01:37:45,492
♪ I know a cat named Easter
1324
01:37:45,493 --> 01:37:48,495
♪ He says,
"Will you ever learn?" ♪
1325
01:37:48,496 --> 01:37:51,698
♪ You're just an empty cage, girl ♪
1326
01:37:51,699 --> 01:37:54,368
♪ If you kill the bird
1327
01:37:54,369 --> 01:38:00,541
♪ I've been looking for a savior
in these dirty streets ♪
1328
01:38:00,542 --> 01:38:05,913
♪ Looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1329
01:38:05,914 --> 01:38:08,916
♪ I've been raising up my hands ♪
1330
01:38:08,917 --> 01:38:11,585
♪ Drive another nail in
1331
01:38:11,586 --> 01:38:17,124
♪ Got enough guilt
to start my own religion ♪
1332
01:38:17,125 --> 01:38:22,129
♪ Why do we crucify ourselves?
1333
01:38:22,130 --> 01:38:24,999
♪ Every day
1334
01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:28,002
♪ I crucify myself
1335
01:38:28,003 --> 01:38:31,172
♪ Nothing I do is good enough for you ♪
1336
01:38:31,173 --> 01:38:33,840
♪ Crucify myself
1337
01:38:33,841 --> 01:38:36,843
♪ Every day
1338
01:38:36,844 --> 01:38:39,413
♪ I crucify myself
1339
01:38:39,414 --> 01:38:42,283
♪ My heart is sick of being
1340
01:38:42,284 --> 01:38:49,456
♪ I said my heart
is sick of being in chains ♪
1341
01:38:49,457 --> 01:38:51,458
♪ Oh, oh
1342
01:38:51,459 --> 01:38:55,462
♪ Chains
1343
01:38:55,463 --> 01:38:57,464
♪ Oh, oh
1344
01:38:57,465 --> 01:39:03,470
♪ Please be
1345
01:39:03,471 --> 01:39:08,976
♪ Save me
1346
01:39:08,977 --> 01:39:16,084
♪ I cry
1347
01:39:17,085 --> 01:39:20,421
♪ Ah, ah
1348
01:39:20,422 --> 01:39:25,926
♪ Looking for a savior
in these dirty streets ♪
1349
01:39:25,927 --> 01:39:31,132
♪ Looking for a savior
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1350
01:39:31,133 --> 01:39:34,135
♪ I've been raising up my hands ♪
1351
01:39:34,136 --> 01:39:36,803
♪ Drive another nail in
1352
01:39:36,804 --> 01:39:43,010
♪ Where are those angels
when you need them? ♪
1353
01:39:43,011 --> 01:39:47,548
♪ Why do we crucify ourselves?
1354
01:39:47,549 --> 01:39:50,617
♪ Every day
1355
01:39:50,618 --> 01:39:53,187
♪ I crucify myself
1356
01:39:53,188 --> 01:39:56,557
♪ And nothing I do
is good enough for you ♪
1357
01:39:56,558 --> 01:39:59,060
♪ Crucify myself
1358
01:39:59,061 --> 01:40:02,063
♪ Every day
1359
01:40:02,064 --> 01:40:04,931
♪ I crucify myself
1360
01:40:04,932 --> 01:40:07,734
♪ My heart is sick of being
1361
01:40:07,735 --> 01:40:14,908
♪ I said my heart
is sick of being in chains ♪
1362
01:40:14,909 --> 01:40:16,910
♪ Oh, oh
1363
01:40:16,911 --> 01:40:20,414
♪ Chains
1364
01:40:20,415 --> 01:40:26,953
♪ Why do we crucify ourselves?
1365
01:40:26,954 --> 01:40:29,656
♪ Every day
1366
01:40:29,657 --> 01:40:32,459
♪ Crucify ourselves
1367
01:40:32,460 --> 01:40:38,132
♪ Why do we crucify ourselves?
1368
01:40:38,133 --> 01:40:43,804
♪ Why do we crucify ourselves?
1369
01:40:43,805 --> 01:40:50,511
♪ Never going back again
to crucify myself again ♪
1370
01:40:50,512 --> 01:40:56,049
♪ You know never going
back again to crucify myself ♪
1371
01:40:56,050 --> 01:41:00,054
♪ Every day89026
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