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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:00,00 --> 00:00:30,00 .:: fmovies.se ::. Free Online Movies 1 00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:45,779 ( footsteps approaching ) 2 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:04,132 Hi, I'm Michael. 3 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:06,834 Paul. 4 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,839 I hear you're having some trouble. 5 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,844 It's okay. 6 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,680 It's okay. 7 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,383 I just... 8 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:26,386 don't understand... 9 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:29,656 why God made me like this. 10 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,658 He didn't. 11 00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:33,294 Trust me. 12 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,197 Let me tell you something. 13 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,199 You should never define yourself 14 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,068 by your choices or your desires. 15 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:47,540 Gay doesn't exist. It's a false identity. 16 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:51,244 This isn't my choice. Why would I choose this? 17 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,247 You always have a choice. 18 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,451 You wanna go to Heaven, right? 19 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,119 Yes. 20 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,954 If you're a moral person, 21 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,924 then you'll choose heterosexuality 22 00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,127 in order to be with God. 23 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,003 ♪♪ 24 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,907 ( street car bell rings ) 25 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,520 ( alarm beeping ) 26 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,690 ( grunts ) 27 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,925 ( sighs ) 28 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:39,860 ( alarm stops ) 29 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,263 Hey. 30 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,331 Hey. Hey. 31 00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:45,665 Where you going? 32 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,567 I'm gonna make us breakfast. 33 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,368 No. 34 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,869 Yeah, come on. 35 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,572 Breakfast is the most important part of the day. 36 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,641 I'll have muffins at my meeting. 37 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,309 Muffins? 38 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,311 Yeah, muffins. 39 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,746 Blueberry. 40 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:02,415 Mmm, blueberry. 41 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:05,117 Okay, then we'll do lunch, okay? 42 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,287 Mmm, morning breath. 43 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:11,291 ( exhales ) Oh, stop it! Get off! 44 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,992 ( laughs ) 45 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,928 ♪♪ 46 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,892 ( all cheering ) 47 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,900 It's so cool that you work at XY. 48 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,568 Yeah. Yeah, it's rad. 49 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,838 You guys are like the only cool gay magazine out there right now. 50 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,441 Oh, yeah, sort of. 51 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:29,235 MAN: Hey, listen up, queens. 52 00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:32,138 XY magazine’s taking over! 53 00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,173 It's our time to shine! 54 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,043 ( all cheering ) 55 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:51,792 ♪♪ 56 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,104 WOMAN: Matthew Shepard was an openly gay man. 57 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:08,375 When he went to a Laramie, Wyoming bar last week, 58 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,377 these two suspects lured him outside, 59 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,978 pretending to be gay. 60 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,213 Now they're charged with a vicious attack 61 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,948 that left Shepard hanging on this fence 62 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,585 for 18 hours in freezing temperatures. 63 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,120 Shepard remained on life support until this morning 64 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,622 when he passed away. 65 00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,957 Shepard's family is grateful for support 66 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,394 from around the world. 67 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,806 They killed him because they were afraid, 68 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,809 and they were afraid because of what their churches tell them 69 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,244 and because of what they see in movies. 70 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,746 It's fucking ridiculous. 71 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,415 I hope they get the death penalty. 72 00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,817 You're against the death penalty. Not in this case. 73 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,251 That's like being for free speech 74 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,353 until someone tells you something that pisses you off. 75 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,722 He died a slow death 76 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,990 after being tied to a fence and tortured. 77 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,859 Exactly, a slow death is way more painful. 78 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,728 They should spend the rest of their lives in prison. 79 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,797 Okay, look, we need to move away from labels 80 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,867 because they segment and they lead to persecution. 81 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,038 People don't wanna be perceived as gay because... 82 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,574 they're afraid they'll end up like Matthew. 83 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,743 But we are a gay magazine. 84 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,811 Identifying as gay is being part of a community. 85 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,780 It's recognition, it's progress... 86 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,850 We've been telling the kids in the magazine to come out, to be proud to be gay. 87 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,618 They should be proud to be themselves. 88 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,121 Gay and straight are just social constructs. 89 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,357 Ugh. God, you and your queer theory. 90 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:34,193 Class is in session with Professor Michael Glatze. 91 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,327 Shut up. 92 00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,763 Okay, okay, look. 93 00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,297 We need to put out the message 94 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,633 that being attracted to the same sex 95 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:43,537 doesn't define who you are. 96 00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:47,508 ♪♪ 97 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,547 Hey. 98 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,548 ( music stops ) 99 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,918 Have you been smoking? 100 00:06:58,986 --> 00:06:59,986 Just one. 101 00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,320 Small one. 102 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,322 It was a small cigarette. 103 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,794 ( chuckles ) Busted. 104 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,330 Letters to the editor. 105 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:15,201 Ninety percent are some poor teen with religious parents. 106 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,872 Fucking Christian Fundamentalists should burn in hell. 107 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,941 Uh, okay. 108 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:26,145 In the meantime, there is a design competition 109 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:29,015 for the Halifax International Airport. 110 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,017 I don't wanna move to Halifax. 111 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,553 I know, but my father wants me to head up the bid committee. 112 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,554 It's huge. 113 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,422 Halifax is so boring. 114 00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:38,190 Your hometown is boring. 115 00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,191 It's not. 116 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,527 Olympia? Yeah. 117 00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:44,531 It's all trees and fog and coffee. 118 00:07:44,532 --> 00:07:46,198 And the birthplace of the Riot Grrrl movement 119 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,802 and where Kurt Cobain wrote most of Nevermind. 120 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,538 ( chuckles ) Oh, well... 121 00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,540 Yeah. In that case... 122 00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:55,341 But it's unsustainable here, 123 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,209 unless you're in the dot-com movement, 124 00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:01,313 and I don't wanna live in a studio on Mission Street 125 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,448 when we're 50. 126 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:03,750 Well, we won't be. 127 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:07,319 We'll be in a big mansion on a hill. Duh. 128 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,822 ♪♪ 129 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,692 MICHAEL: May 21st, 2000. 130 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,094 I used to imagine myself growing old 131 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,030 while living in a house atop a hill in the Castro, 132 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,732 but what's more important to me 133 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,368 is growing old with the love of my life, 134 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,536 Bennett. 135 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:25,538 So I'm leaving San Francisco 136 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,040 to live in Halifax, Canada. 137 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,910 Although I'm sad to leave XY magazine, 138 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,780 I'm excited to finally accept the speaking offers 139 00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,481 I've been receiving this past year, 140 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:38,685 thanks to my work as a writer and activist. 141 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,853 What a lot of people aren't aware of 142 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,856 is that the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual" 143 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:47,193 were only introduced about a hundred years ago. 144 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:50,262 As my mother used to always say, 145 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,864 "When you help others, 146 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,199 you're helping yourself as well." 147 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,668 We often read about more sexually... 148 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,670 My goal is to thread a needle 149 00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,839 through the fabric of this country 150 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,710 and stitch together the lives of gay kids everywhere. 151 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:04,977 I know a lot of you 152 00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,513 are balancing religion and sexuality, 153 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,181 but I mean, come on, 154 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:13,621 what God would punish you for finding love? 155 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,996 ( birds chirping ) 156 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,797 ( woodpecker pecking ) 157 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,375 This is where I spread my Mom's ashes. 158 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,792 Oh, my God. 159 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,928 She's still here. 160 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,832 ( sighs ) 161 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,736 ♪♪ 162 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,744 Mom, I'm gonna stay here with you. 163 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:45,812 No. 164 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,246 Don't be stubborn. 165 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:50,382 You are not skipping a semester to be with me. 166 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,184 I can help you through this. 167 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,722 I'm gonna be fine. I told you. 168 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,257 I feel better. 169 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,360 Really, Michael. 170 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,397 I am so proud of you. 171 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,367 I love you so much. 172 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,838 Hmm. I love you. 173 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,214 I should've stayed. 174 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,883 ( sighs ) 175 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,718 Everyone kept saying, 176 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:29,890 "Don't worry, we're praying for her, don't worry." 177 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,128 Everyone's gonna die. 178 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,834 No amount of praying is ever gonna change that. 179 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,074 ♪♪ 180 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,487 ( alarm beeping ) 181 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:04,156 You're not getting up yet. Five minutes more. 182 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,326 I can't believe I'm approaching my one-year anniversary 183 00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,296 here in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. 184 00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:14,366 The food is amazing, especially the sushi. 185 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:19,371 The people are friendly and although the gay community 186 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,173 is much smaller than San Francisco, 187 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,845 I have some big plans to really make an impact. 188 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,091 What's wrong with you? 189 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,193 Nothing. 190 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,429 ( sighs ) 191 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,131 Look, I have to find something else to do. 192 00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:48,467 I'm just not cut out for administrative work. 193 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,602 Give it some time? 194 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,438 I have things I wanna do. 195 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,974 I want my own magazine. I want something bigger. 196 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,976 I want... I want to influence people. 197 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,145 I can't do that here. You're being such a shit. 198 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,913 We made the decision to leave San Francisco together. 199 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,148 No, we didn't. 200 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,016 I mean, you had to take this job. 201 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,385 Just like you had to take the job that took us to San Francisco. 202 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:10,390 Which is how you got your job at XY, so you should be thanking me. 203 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,926 Is this... 204 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:16,428 This is supposed to be Mexican food? 205 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,497 Why don't you go to the store and make your own food? 206 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:19,698 Maybe I will. 207 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,333 You'll have to ask me for money, though, 208 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,470 'cause you don't have any, remember? 209 00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:33,013 ♪♪ 210 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,252 Thanks. 211 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,448 Hey. 212 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,850 Hey. 213 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,486 You're Mike, right? 214 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,422 Uh, yeah. 215 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:20,227 The XY Survivor Guide really helped me out. 216 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,861 Are you stalking me or something? 217 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,330 ( laughs ) 218 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,932 Tyler. 219 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:26,933 Hi. 220 00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,034 Hi. 221 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,736 I just... I wanted you to know 222 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,438 I agree with everything that you say 223 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:35,641 about gay identity and sexuality. 224 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:39,845 I don't wanna be put into a box just because I'm gay. 225 00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,847 You don't wanna be in a box? 226 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,849 No, I don't wanna be in a box. 227 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,351 ( both laugh ) 228 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:48,220 You're so fucking cute. 229 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,189 Can I buy you a drink? 230 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,858 Don't you have a boyfriend? 231 00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:56,529 ( inhales) Hmm... He'll think you're cute, too. 232 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,333 ♪♪ 233 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,641 ( humming ) 234 00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,213 TYLER: It's a galaxy. 235 00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,548 Uh, actually it's a spiral. 236 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,917 It's the only symbol that means anything. 237 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,653 It's infinite, no beginning, no end. 238 00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,822 There's a beginning and there's an end. 239 00:15:56,823 --> 00:15:58,457 All right, well, there's a more complicated one 240 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,958 that has no beginning and no end, 241 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,128 but I can't do it on my pancakes, okay? 242 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,264 ( all chuckle ) 243 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,400 How did you guys meet? 244 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:09,901 How did we meet? 245 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,670 Uh, San Francisco. 246 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,540 We volunteered at this AIDS prevention organization. 247 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:18,544 And we both got arrested protesting this Christian Coalition event. 248 00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,880 Which is how I knew it was true love. 249 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:24,383 ( chuckles ) Awesome. 250 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:28,087 How about you? What's your deal? 251 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,955 Who are you? 252 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,290 Uh... 253 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,159 I'm a physics student. 254 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,993 Really? Yeah. 255 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,662 Physics. Science. 256 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:41,533 Yeah. I wanna be an astronaut, but that's probably a long shot. 257 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,737 Oh, God. I'd be terrified to go into space. 258 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,939 It's just, to me, 259 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:51,843 Earth is just this, like, tiny speck in the universe. 260 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,847 And humans have only been around for just a speck of that timeline. 261 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,749 So it's just... 262 00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:02,622 There has to be more to life than just this, don't you think? 263 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,227 Totally. 264 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:11,631 Totally. 265 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,268 BENNETT: So Tyler was really cute, huh? 266 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,504 Interesting. Mm-hmm. 267 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,539 It is interesting, isn't it? 268 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,473 Very interesting. 269 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,775 You know why? ( chuckles ) 270 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,278 Because I love you so much. 271 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,147 ( chuckles ) 272 00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,349 And I really feel like we're at a place in our relationship 273 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,551 where there's more than enough love to go around. 274 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,719 ( chuckles ) 275 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,554 And I know that I'm not afraid of that 276 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,055 and I don't think that you are either. 277 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:40,259 Mm-mm. Maybe I am afraid. 278 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,593 Well, you shouldn't be afraid 279 00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,663 because I'm here to protect you. Why? 280 00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:47,134 ( chuckles ) 281 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,273 Carrot thief. 282 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:59,745 MICHAEL: Here's our very uncool soccer mom van. 283 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,380 Whoo! ( chuckles ) 284 00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:04,383 Who are these guys? ( chuckles ) 285 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,085 July 23rd, 2002. 286 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,720 Road trip. Road trip. 287 00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:12,057 I'm driving across America with Bennett and Tyler 288 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:16,162 for an exciting new project I'm working on. 289 00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:17,596 I guess both beds are taken. 290 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,898 I don't know where you're gonna sleep. 291 00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:23,769 BOTH: Eenie, meenie, miney, moe. 292 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,638 ( laughs ) 293 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,741 This is the most fun I've ever had in my whole life. 294 00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,777 Really? No. 295 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:32,644 ♪♪ 296 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,580 We are making a documentary 297 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,382 about queer youth in America, 298 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:40,018 because discrimination against LGBT youth 299 00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:42,288 must be eliminated. 300 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:46,558 I just wish people could see that these kids have faces, 301 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:50,762 names, and voices that need to be heard. 302 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:54,966 BOY: Growing up in the church and realizing that you're gay 303 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,035 is very difficult. 304 00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:00,406 You know, your family has never talked about it. 305 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,073 I mean, I'm 13 306 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,742 and it's the first time I've heard the word. 307 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:07,713 And when I heard the word and knew what it was, 308 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:11,250 then it was like, "Hey, I know that. 309 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:14,620 I understand that. That's me." 310 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,522 GIRL: My mom, she's trying. 311 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,123 She's like really in the closet about it. 312 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,825 She won't mention it to anybody or anything like that. 313 00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,993 Like, she tries to still act like I'm straight 314 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,596 and expects me to act like I'm straight along with her 315 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,997 when I'm not like that. 316 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,434 BOY: And this was probably more overwhelming 317 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:31,837 when I tried to kill myself, uh... 318 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:36,508 But I felt so invisible 319 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,245 to everyone around me who was straight. 320 00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:43,181 There are times when I realize 321 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:48,621 that I'm just as much a creation of God as everyone else. 322 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:54,092 Olympia, Washington. 323 00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,627 This is kind of somber. 324 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:59,965 But even though I grew up here, 325 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:05,504 because both my parents don't live anymore, 326 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,673 it feels like this place is a part of a past 327 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,675 that doesn't exist anymore. 328 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:13,011 And I wasn't gay here. 329 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,513 I mean, you couldn't be. 330 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:17,182 There was this kid that everyone just thought was gay 331 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:22,120 and he had to leave school 'cause he got picked on so much. 332 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,491 ♪♪ 333 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,399 MICHAEL: What's it like here? 334 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,200 Liberty is Falwell territory. 335 00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:39,372 So as you can imagine, it's not very gay-friendly. 336 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,943 So why do you stay? 337 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:45,945 Uh... 338 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,382 Well, I... 339 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,017 I don't know. I, um... 340 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,952 I didn't come out to friends and family 341 00:20:53,953 --> 00:20:55,754 until last year. 342 00:20:55,755 --> 00:21:00,125 And I have another year before I graduate. 343 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:01,860 I'm a Christian. 344 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,662 So... 345 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,931 Which a lot of people think is impossible, 346 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,633 but I think that's just as ridiculous 347 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,836 as the anti-gay right, so... 348 00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,238 ( girl crying ) 349 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,607 Just a second. 350 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:17,776 Hey, Sof. 351 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,978 GIRL: Do you want us to call them for you? 352 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,080 ( girl crying ) 353 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:24,583 We're just gonna... We're gonna wait with you until he comes, okay? 354 00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:29,287 Her mother just passed. Do you mind not filming us? 355 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,922 GIRL: So awful. 356 00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,091 BOY: Here, let's pray. Let's pray for her, okay? 357 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,426 All right, turn it off. 358 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,761 BOY: We just wanna ask, Father, 359 00:21:35,762 --> 00:21:37,228 that you would just give her the strength 360 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:40,832 to get through this incredibly difficult time 361 00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,969 and we pray that you would just fill us all 362 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,304 with the compassion to know what she must be going through 363 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,675 because it would be impossible for us to fully comprehend. 364 00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,010 Just show her yourself, Father, during this time 365 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:54,880 and look to you right now, Father... 366 00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,816 ♪♪ 367 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:15,935 Hey. 368 00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,438 Babe. 369 00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:21,640 We gotta go. We gotta be there at 9:30. You ready? 370 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,776 Yeah. All right. See you in the car. 371 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,016 I didn't come out to friends and family 372 00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,018 until last year. 373 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,352 I'm a Christian. 374 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,221 So... 375 00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:38,590 Which a lot of people think is impossible, 376 00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,426 but I think that's just as ridiculous 377 00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,596 as the anti-gay right, so... 378 00:22:45,264 --> 00:22:51,069 When I was young, I didn't know that there were people like me. 379 00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:55,407 I felt lost, alone, and confused. 380 00:22:55,408 --> 00:22:59,778 I never even told my mother, my best friend, that I was gay 381 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:02,247 because I was afraid she wouldn't accept me. 382 00:23:02,248 --> 00:23:04,750 That's why we're on this journey. 383 00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:08,920 To let gay kids know that they are not alone. 384 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:12,424 And you know what? I learned a lot as well. 385 00:23:12,425 --> 00:23:15,160 Because we met so many amazing people 386 00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:17,162 who've heard their parents or pastors 387 00:23:17,163 --> 00:23:20,031 tell them they're wrong and yet they've come 388 00:23:20,032 --> 00:23:22,901 to the realization that they're beautiful, 389 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:27,405 blessed, and that God loves them just as they are. 390 00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:31,943 I mean, people who believe that homosexuality is wrong 391 00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:37,015 are gonna change their minds thanks to this next generation. 392 00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:38,951 ♪♪ 393 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,891 ( church bell rings ) 394 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,879 ♪♪ 395 00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:38,210 ( indistinct chatter ) 396 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:44,349 The sky is fucking beautiful. 397 00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:46,952 ( laughs ) 398 00:24:46,953 --> 00:24:49,588 BENNETT: What is this, babe? 399 00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:50,757 Hmm? 400 00:24:52,424 --> 00:24:53,792 Oh, it's stupid. 401 00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,794 Just somebody gave it to me on the street. 402 00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:59,164 "Where Will We Go When We Die?" 403 00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:02,133 Baby. ( Laughs ) 404 00:25:02,134 --> 00:25:04,803 You guys, where will we go when we die? 405 00:25:04,804 --> 00:25:08,339 In 2012, the world is supposed to end. 406 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,141 Is that a real thing? 407 00:25:10,142 --> 00:25:11,843 I hope not. 408 00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:14,012 BOY: Everyone knows this. 409 00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:17,015 It's what they drew on the Mayan calendar. 410 00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:19,851 You know, the Mayan calendar thing. 411 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,554 That's what they drew. It was the moon and the sun. 412 00:25:22,555 --> 00:25:23,889 ( chatter continues ) 413 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:25,825 ♪♪ 414 00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,198 ♪♪ 415 00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:18,944 What? I'm curious. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 416 00:26:18,945 --> 00:26:22,280 We wanna know. Please. We wanna know. Please. 417 00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:24,283 MAN: I don't think they wanna know. 418 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,358 ♪♪ 419 00:26:41,734 --> 00:26:42,902 BENNETT: Mike. 420 00:26:46,205 --> 00:26:48,173 You guys go on. I'll meet you at home. 421 00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:50,241 You okay? 422 00:26:50,242 --> 00:26:51,476 Yeah, I'm fine. 423 00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:53,544 Where are you going? 424 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:55,682 Michael? 425 00:26:57,316 --> 00:27:01,319 What's that about? I have absolutely no earthly idea. 426 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:03,790 ( water running ) 427 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,393 ( sighs ) 428 00:27:17,436 --> 00:27:20,072 ( sighs ) 429 00:27:38,457 --> 00:27:40,392 ( sighs ) 430 00:27:42,094 --> 00:27:43,428 ( crying ) 431 00:27:43,429 --> 00:27:44,831 Baby. 432 00:27:46,432 --> 00:27:50,501 I was worried about you today. What's going on? 433 00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:55,373 ( sighs ) 434 00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:58,043 It's stupid. 435 00:27:58,044 --> 00:28:00,713 Baby, nothing's stupid. Tell me what. 436 00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:09,988 Do you think when we die, 437 00:28:09,989 --> 00:28:14,126 we just disappear like we never existed? 438 00:28:18,497 --> 00:28:20,299 No, I don't think that. 439 00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:24,470 Because I know that we'll always be together. 440 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:28,307 Baby. 441 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,146 ( crying ) 442 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:37,382 Baby. 443 00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:40,052 Baby, you're okay. I'm here. 444 00:28:44,690 --> 00:28:46,826 ♪♪ 445 00:28:50,529 --> 00:28:53,465 ( all cheering ) 446 00:28:58,137 --> 00:29:00,840 Let's pray for her. Let's pray. 447 00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:05,244 ( gasping ) 448 00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:14,854 Bennett! 449 00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:17,455 Bennett! 450 00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:20,591 ( gasping ) 451 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,861 I'm really lightheaded. 452 00:29:22,862 --> 00:29:26,933 It's okay. It's okay. We're almost there. We're almost there. 453 00:29:40,913 --> 00:29:42,680 Okay. 454 00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:47,418 Your heartrate seems to have returned back to normal. 455 00:29:47,419 --> 00:29:49,354 Can you check again? 456 00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:52,590 Just because your father had HCM does not mean that you have it. 457 00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:57,128 We followed our chest pain protocol and there's nothing abnormal. 458 00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,132 You had a panic attack. Okay? 459 00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,635 Where's Bennett? 460 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:06,171 He's in the lobby. 461 00:30:06,172 --> 00:30:09,008 As soon as you're checked out, you can see him. 462 00:30:09,976 --> 00:30:10,976 All right? 463 00:30:10,977 --> 00:30:12,111 Thank you. 464 00:30:16,615 --> 00:30:17,782 ♪♪ 465 00:30:17,783 --> 00:30:19,117 I was 13 years old, 466 00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:21,286 walking along the beach with my father, 467 00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,288 when he suddenly collapsed and died 468 00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:25,591 from an unexpected heart condition. 469 00:30:29,295 --> 00:30:31,296 If I've inherited his disease, 470 00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:33,599 the same thing could happen to me. 471 00:30:35,301 --> 00:30:37,435 BENNETT: What's wrong, baby? 472 00:30:37,436 --> 00:30:40,305 It's happening again. I can feel it. 473 00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:43,674 The tests confirmed that... They don't know. 474 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,510 They don't care. 475 00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,345 ( gasping ) 476 00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:50,748 Now I'm having heart palpitations all the time. 477 00:30:50,749 --> 00:30:54,052 And contrary to what the doctors keep saying, 478 00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:56,956 I just know they aren't panic attacks. 479 00:30:58,324 --> 00:31:00,158 After months of fighting with my insurance, 480 00:31:00,159 --> 00:31:02,393 I was finally allowed to see a specialist 481 00:31:02,394 --> 00:31:04,562 who could definitively test whether or not 482 00:31:04,563 --> 00:31:07,066 I inherited my father's condition. 483 00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:11,469 Now I have to wait for the results. 484 00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:14,772 BENNETT: Michael, just calm down. MICHAEL: Calm down! 485 00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:16,374 Do you know what this disease means? 486 00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:19,577 It means I could die any minute, just drop dead! 487 00:31:19,578 --> 00:31:21,047 You calm down! 488 00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:34,360 ( water running ) 489 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,178 ♪♪ 490 00:32:08,027 --> 00:32:10,162 ( panting ) 491 00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:20,272 ( gasping ) 492 00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:42,995 ( water running ) 493 00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:05,684 ( panting ) 494 00:33:39,085 --> 00:33:41,220 ( birds chirping ) 495 00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:56,768 ( phone chiming ) 496 00:34:00,005 --> 00:34:01,539 Dr. Williams? 497 00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,907 Hi. 498 00:34:02,908 --> 00:34:07,578 ♪♪ 499 00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:09,515 ( panting ) 500 00:34:25,564 --> 00:34:26,832 Thank you, God. 501 00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:32,838 Thank you, God. 502 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:38,376 The test confirmed 503 00:34:38,377 --> 00:34:41,512 that I did not inherit my father's heart condition. 504 00:34:41,513 --> 00:34:45,216 Although it's a massive sigh of relief, 505 00:34:45,217 --> 00:34:47,618 I keep thinking to myself... 506 00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:51,322 if I was really just having panic attacks, 507 00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,491 then what's wrong with me? 508 00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:55,661 What am I afraid of? 509 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,269 All I know is that when faced with your own death, 510 00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:06,937 it reminds you of what's important in life. 511 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:10,609 And for me, that's helping other people. 512 00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,478 Okay. 513 00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:16,847 So I've decided to start my own magazine. 514 00:35:16,848 --> 00:35:19,850 I'm calling it YGA. 515 00:35:19,851 --> 00:35:21,652 Young Gay Americans. 516 00:35:21,653 --> 00:35:25,356 It's gonna be the biggest and most sophisticated magazine 517 00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:29,527 aimed at improving the lives of LGBT youth. 518 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,830 ( indistinct chatter ) 519 00:35:55,954 --> 00:35:57,756 ♪♪ 520 00:36:10,302 --> 00:36:11,937 ( sighs ) 521 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:17,443 Hmm. 522 00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,789 ( footsteps approaching ) 523 00:36:45,337 --> 00:36:46,671 What is this? 524 00:36:46,672 --> 00:36:49,206 ( chuckles ) What is this? 525 00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:52,810 Oh, my God! Hi! 526 00:36:52,811 --> 00:36:54,612 You didn't. 527 00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:56,013 I know you wanted one, baby. 528 00:36:56,014 --> 00:36:57,782 Oh, my God! 529 00:36:57,783 --> 00:37:00,419 ( chuckles ) 530 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,691 Ooh. 531 00:37:06,692 --> 00:37:09,226 What are we gonna call you? ( chuckles ) 532 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,095 What are we gonna call you? 533 00:37:11,096 --> 00:37:12,697 ( both laughing ) 534 00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:14,900 BENNETT: Olly. Olly, heel. 535 00:37:16,702 --> 00:37:19,704 MICHAEL: I've been thinking about the next issue of YGA. 536 00:37:19,705 --> 00:37:22,540 I think we need to address this whole Christianity thing. 537 00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:24,008 BENNETT: What do you mean? 538 00:37:24,009 --> 00:37:27,812 Well, people think that gays and Christians are enemies. 539 00:37:27,813 --> 00:37:32,883 We've met so many people who've managed to balance their faith and their sexuality. 540 00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:35,953 But we've also met so many people whose parents 541 00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:38,489 and churches tell them they're gonna burn in hell. 542 00:37:38,490 --> 00:37:41,659 Yeah, which is why we should address it in the magazine. 543 00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:45,330 I mean, the whole "you're gay, you're going to hell" myth 544 00:37:45,331 --> 00:37:50,200 was started by mistranslations and misinterpretations of the Bible. 545 00:37:50,201 --> 00:37:54,772 I mean, God doesn't care what your sexual orientation is. 546 00:37:54,773 --> 00:37:58,976 And the one thing that the gay movement doesn't understand 547 00:37:58,977 --> 00:38:00,711 that I think Christianity does 548 00:38:00,712 --> 00:38:06,385 is that not everyone wants to be a part of the subculture. 549 00:38:07,853 --> 00:38:10,455 I'm sorry, what did you do with my boyfriend? 550 00:38:10,456 --> 00:38:12,222 Shut up. 551 00:38:12,223 --> 00:38:14,360 I'm not gonna write like... 552 00:38:16,895 --> 00:38:20,097 Gospel according to Michael or something. ( Chuckles ) 553 00:38:20,098 --> 00:38:21,467 ♪♪ 554 00:38:23,602 --> 00:38:26,604 It might seem strange for a gay youth magazine 555 00:38:26,605 --> 00:38:30,307 to dedicate an entire issue to religion, 556 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,778 but it's too important to ignore. 557 00:38:34,446 --> 00:38:37,982 When my parents died, I blamed God. 558 00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:39,484 When I came out, 559 00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:43,654 I distanced myself even further from religion. 560 00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:48,359 You see, I thought I was too smart to believe in God, 561 00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,662 that he was only for the needy. 562 00:38:51,930 --> 00:38:53,798 But after a recent health scare, 563 00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:58,503 I felt this nudging in the back of my mind, 564 00:38:58,504 --> 00:39:01,506 The presence of God. 565 00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:03,508 And you know what? 566 00:39:03,509 --> 00:39:06,344 I was no longer afraid. 567 00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:08,813 Aah! 568 00:39:08,814 --> 00:39:11,682 Some religious figures spout hateful rhetoric 569 00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:15,219 and try to force a monopoly on the truth. 570 00:39:15,220 --> 00:39:18,723 But the only truth is love. 571 00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:22,927 The only sin is denying love. 572 00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:25,262 Stop hating. 573 00:39:25,263 --> 00:39:28,066 Start loving. 574 00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:39,777 You gonna join us? 575 00:39:39,778 --> 00:39:41,780 Uh, yeah, just one second. 576 00:39:47,853 --> 00:39:50,020 What? 577 00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:53,023 Uh, you're really combing through that thing, aren't you? 578 00:39:53,024 --> 00:39:57,394 Look, my whole life, I thought the Bible was full of hate... 579 00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:58,896 and it's not. 580 00:39:58,897 --> 00:40:01,231 There's a lot of love in here. 581 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:05,936 So your interest in the Bible is more than just research? 582 00:40:05,937 --> 00:40:09,974 Well, there's a lot of Christian roots in my family, 583 00:40:09,975 --> 00:40:12,477 my mom, my aunt and... 584 00:40:12,478 --> 00:40:13,878 Just curious. 585 00:40:13,879 --> 00:40:17,081 Your aunts disowned you when you came out. 586 00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:18,849 That's not family. 587 00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:20,851 I'm all for curiosity but... 588 00:40:20,852 --> 00:40:24,722 I-I just feel like something saved me, 589 00:40:24,723 --> 00:40:27,125 shook me and woke me up. 590 00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:31,497 And that someone is God? 591 00:40:33,398 --> 00:40:38,604 Mike, he didn't save you because you were never dying. 592 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,174 Okay. 593 00:40:46,645 --> 00:40:48,813 "Whoever finds their life will lose it, 594 00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,817 and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." 595 00:40:54,753 --> 00:40:58,088 "Whoever finds their life will lose it, 596 00:40:58,089 --> 00:41:02,661 and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." 597 00:41:03,862 --> 00:41:06,196 "Whoever finds their life will lose it, 598 00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:09,535 and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." 599 00:41:16,407 --> 00:41:19,443 Don't see many people flaunting that out in the open. 600 00:41:19,444 --> 00:41:21,245 Oh. 601 00:41:21,246 --> 00:41:23,781 I've seen you reading out here before 602 00:41:23,782 --> 00:41:27,051 and I thought maybe you'd wanna come to my church. 603 00:41:27,052 --> 00:41:31,589 Any Sunday, just to check it out. 604 00:41:31,590 --> 00:41:34,225 See what the Mormon religion has to offer. 605 00:41:35,794 --> 00:41:41,298 The gospel teaches us that we are the spirit children 606 00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:43,333 of heavenly parents. 607 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:49,540 Now, many people ask, are we like other Christians? 608 00:41:49,541 --> 00:41:51,709 Why of course we are. 609 00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,044 We believe in Jesus Christ 610 00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:57,548 and we believe in life after death. 611 00:41:57,549 --> 00:42:02,687 And everyone is welcome at the LDS Church. 612 00:42:02,688 --> 00:42:06,323 Christ's atonement allows mankind to be saved from their sins... 613 00:42:06,324 --> 00:42:10,628 and to return to live with God and their loved ones in Heaven. 614 00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:13,330 Did you grow up with any kind of faith? 615 00:42:13,331 --> 00:42:14,665 Not really. 616 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:16,333 My mother was Christian, 617 00:42:16,334 --> 00:42:19,770 but she didn't really take me or my sister to church, 618 00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:22,940 and my father was a Berkeley hippie, 619 00:42:22,941 --> 00:42:26,276 kind of agnostic or even atheist. 620 00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:28,145 They were very good people 621 00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:32,349 and I know I'll see them again in Heaven. 622 00:42:32,350 --> 00:42:35,219 My mom passed away as well. 623 00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:37,187 So I know how hard that is. 624 00:42:37,188 --> 00:42:41,792 I was so afraid and angry, you know? 625 00:42:41,793 --> 00:42:43,794 Yeah, me, too. 626 00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:45,963 It's really hard to deal with death 627 00:42:45,964 --> 00:42:48,033 when you don't know where you're going. 628 00:42:49,534 --> 00:42:52,336 But once you do, then you have peace 629 00:42:52,337 --> 00:42:55,405 and you realize that God's not to blame. 630 00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,843 Right. Yeah. 631 00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:00,178 GIRL: Catherine. 632 00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:02,880 ( chuckles ) 633 00:43:02,881 --> 00:43:04,314 It was nice to meet you. 634 00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:05,250 You, too. 635 00:43:08,553 --> 00:43:11,455 She's single, FYI. 636 00:43:11,456 --> 00:43:13,791 FYI? 637 00:43:13,792 --> 00:43:15,425 What, you think she likes me? 638 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:18,629 Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. 639 00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:23,634 But I mean, don't worry. There's plenty of single ladies looking for a husband. 640 00:43:23,635 --> 00:43:27,638 I wasn't even thinking about that kind of thing. 641 00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:31,041 Oh, well, maybe it's something you should start thinking about. 642 00:43:31,042 --> 00:43:33,979 I can get you in touch with her if you want. 643 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,747 Oh, um... 644 00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:38,684 If you're interested. 645 00:43:41,286 --> 00:43:42,787 Sure. I don't know. 646 00:43:42,788 --> 00:43:45,122 Yeah? Okay. Whatever. Yeah, okay. 647 00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,891 All right. Okay, thanks. 648 00:43:46,892 --> 00:43:49,027 Embarrassing me a little bit. ( Laughs ) 649 00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:52,363 ♪♪ 650 00:44:06,511 --> 00:44:08,646 ♪♪ 651 00:44:14,686 --> 00:44:16,453 MAN: Welcome back to New Beginnings 652 00:44:16,454 --> 00:44:18,989 and thank you for listening to our continued conversation 653 00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:21,158 about the truth path to Heaven. 654 00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:24,695 Doctor, how would you respond to other Christians 655 00:44:24,696 --> 00:44:26,496 who disagree with your angle? 656 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:30,200 DOCTOR: Look, all I'm trying to do is help people. 657 00:44:30,201 --> 00:44:33,904 It just pains me so much when I hear so-called Christians 658 00:44:33,905 --> 00:44:37,074 side with the left on issues such as homosexuality. 659 00:44:37,075 --> 00:44:40,077 Now, I'm not condoning hate. 660 00:44:40,078 --> 00:44:42,747 In fact, this is about love. 661 00:44:42,748 --> 00:44:44,915 Choosing a gay identity will condemn you 662 00:44:44,916 --> 00:44:46,951 to an eternity of suffering. 663 00:44:46,952 --> 00:44:49,453 And I wanna save people from that. 664 00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:52,289 Whether it's abortion or adultery 665 00:44:52,290 --> 00:44:55,826 or accepting religions other than Christianity, 666 00:44:55,827 --> 00:44:57,995 you must obey God's law 667 00:44:57,996 --> 00:45:00,999 or you will not be allowed into his kingdom. 668 00:45:03,869 --> 00:45:07,005 ( indistinct chatter ) 669 00:45:40,839 --> 00:45:43,640 I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that it's wrong. 670 00:45:43,641 --> 00:45:46,811 I'm just saying that over the course of thousands of years, 671 00:45:46,812 --> 00:45:50,347 people with an agenda have made Christianity what it is today. 672 00:45:50,348 --> 00:45:55,353 Yeah, but the original message is still the same, it's about love. 673 00:45:58,223 --> 00:46:01,125 You know, I would've never pegged you as a Buddhist. 674 00:46:01,126 --> 00:46:02,426 Why? 675 00:46:02,427 --> 00:46:04,661 What, 'cause I don't look a certain way? 676 00:46:04,662 --> 00:46:06,463 No, I... 677 00:46:06,464 --> 00:46:08,632 I don't know why I just said that. 678 00:46:08,633 --> 00:46:10,367 I'm just kidding you. 679 00:46:10,368 --> 00:46:11,635 Meditation. 680 00:46:11,636 --> 00:46:13,838 People get weird in their head about meditation. 681 00:46:13,839 --> 00:46:15,439 They think it's weird or hippie. 682 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:19,309 I think it's about developing mindfulness. 683 00:46:19,310 --> 00:46:21,311 You know, it's about living moment to moment. 684 00:46:21,312 --> 00:46:25,649 And in a deeper level, it's about knowing yourself. 685 00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:29,019 That's why I started volunteering at the Buddhist center. 686 00:46:29,020 --> 00:46:31,488 They have classes on Friday. You should come. 687 00:46:31,489 --> 00:46:36,026 Oh, I have to go out of town for this speaking thing. 688 00:46:36,027 --> 00:46:38,195 What kind of speaking thing? 689 00:46:38,196 --> 00:46:41,065 It's about gay youth in America. 690 00:46:41,066 --> 00:46:43,201 No way. That's awesome. 691 00:47:09,794 --> 00:47:10,929 ( dings ) 692 00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:17,568 ♪♪ 693 00:47:24,809 --> 00:47:26,543 WOMAN: Welcome to our very first panel 694 00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:28,879 on being young and gay in America. 695 00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:31,215 Joining us is Judy Shepard, 696 00:47:31,216 --> 00:47:34,118 president of the Matthew Shepard Foundation, 697 00:47:34,119 --> 00:47:36,286 dedicated to working towards causes 698 00:47:36,287 --> 00:47:39,556 championed by her son Matthew during his life. 699 00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:40,724 Thank you for joining us. 700 00:47:40,725 --> 00:47:42,860 ( applause ) 701 00:47:46,331 --> 00:47:49,934 Michael Glatze, former editor of XY magazine, 702 00:47:49,935 --> 00:47:54,238 recipient of Equality Forum's National Role Model Award 703 00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,873 as well as Lambda's Literary Award 704 00:47:56,874 --> 00:47:58,608 for XY's Survival Guide, 705 00:47:58,609 --> 00:48:02,079 participant in the award-winning documentary 706 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:03,413 Jim in Bold, 707 00:48:03,414 --> 00:48:05,282 and co-founder of Young Gay Americans, 708 00:48:05,283 --> 00:48:07,484 which is now a full-fledged magazine. 709 00:48:07,485 --> 00:48:09,254 ( applause ) 710 00:48:13,658 --> 00:48:15,994 WOMAN: What does being gay mean to you? 711 00:48:17,662 --> 00:48:22,732 Gay doesn't mean the same thing that it meant 20 years ago. 712 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:26,103 And it's more important now than ever 713 00:48:26,104 --> 00:48:29,506 to make allies and make alliances 714 00:48:29,507 --> 00:48:33,577 both inside and outside the gay community. 715 00:48:33,578 --> 00:48:36,147 ( tape rewinding ) 716 00:48:37,815 --> 00:48:42,819 Gay doesn't mean the same thing that it meant 20 years ago. 717 00:48:42,820 --> 00:48:44,621 It's not about... 718 00:48:44,622 --> 00:48:46,391 ( tape rewinding ) 719 00:48:59,904 --> 00:49:02,739 ♪♪ 720 00:49:02,740 --> 00:49:04,675 ( alarm beeping ) 721 00:49:12,717 --> 00:49:13,651 ( alarm stops ) 722 00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:19,724 Hey. 723 00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:23,561 No. 724 00:49:26,097 --> 00:49:27,732 I have to walk the dog. 725 00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:37,408 ♪♪ 726 00:50:01,132 --> 00:50:04,135 ( footsteps approaching ) 727 00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,139 Hey. 728 00:50:11,976 --> 00:50:14,278 What are you doing? 729 00:50:14,279 --> 00:50:18,015 I need some space. 730 00:50:19,484 --> 00:50:21,185 Mike... Look, I just... 731 00:50:21,186 --> 00:50:22,819 I need some time to figure this out, 732 00:50:22,820 --> 00:50:24,622 to see where this is taking me. 733 00:50:26,624 --> 00:50:29,393 Why can't you come to me for help? 734 00:50:29,394 --> 00:50:31,261 We have to talk about this before... 735 00:50:31,262 --> 00:50:33,263 Look, I just... 736 00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:35,533 I need to get away from this life. 737 00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,369 Our life? Yes. 738 00:50:40,138 --> 00:50:43,340 And what exactly is it about our life that you need to get away from, being gay? 739 00:50:43,341 --> 00:50:44,908 I don't know. 740 00:50:44,909 --> 00:50:46,410 I don't know! 741 00:50:46,411 --> 00:50:51,515 Okay, uh, are you attracted to women? 742 00:50:51,516 --> 00:50:53,817 Because if that's the case, then fine, go explore. 743 00:50:53,818 --> 00:50:57,187 I just wanna be with my parents in Heaven. Is that so hard to understand? 744 00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:59,389 Can you even hear yourself right now? 745 00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:01,558 What happened to the misinterpretation of the Bible? 746 00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:03,327 It's a fucking book, Mike! 747 00:51:03,328 --> 00:51:05,762 I read the Bible the same way I read anything else, 748 00:51:05,763 --> 00:51:06,996 with an open mind and an open heart. 749 00:51:06,997 --> 00:51:09,099 Oh, is that what you call this? 750 00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:12,636 'Cause the way you're talking doesn't exactly sound very fucking open-minded. 751 00:51:12,637 --> 00:51:18,041 This relationship has just developed into something unhealthy. 752 00:51:18,042 --> 00:51:20,178 What does that even mean? 753 00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:23,380 Tyler? 754 00:51:23,381 --> 00:51:25,882 You were just as interested in that as I was. 755 00:51:25,883 --> 00:51:27,217 No. 756 00:51:27,218 --> 00:51:28,585 I just wanted you to be happy 757 00:51:28,586 --> 00:51:30,187 because I was afraid you were gonna leave. 758 00:51:30,188 --> 00:51:31,755 I was never gonna leave, Mike. 759 00:51:31,756 --> 00:51:33,223 I've stood by you. 760 00:51:33,224 --> 00:51:35,592 I've held your hand while you were so terrified of dying 761 00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:38,762 that you created illnesses that didn't even exist. 762 00:51:38,763 --> 00:51:42,699 The truth is that I was living a lie. 763 00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:43,933 ( sighs ) 764 00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:47,605 The truth is that God loves us... Shut the fuck up! 765 00:51:48,673 --> 00:51:49,874 ( sighs ) 766 00:51:51,909 --> 00:51:53,243 Okay. 767 00:51:53,244 --> 00:51:54,445 Wait. 768 00:52:01,252 --> 00:52:03,253 ( crying ) 769 00:52:03,254 --> 00:52:05,390 Please don't go. 770 00:52:10,795 --> 00:52:13,431 Where are you going? 771 00:52:20,605 --> 00:52:25,475 The thing that will really kill you... 772 00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:29,447 is repressing who you truly are. 773 00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:33,318 That's what you should really be afraid of. 774 00:52:48,299 --> 00:52:51,302 ( door opens and closes ) 775 00:53:09,987 --> 00:53:11,922 ♪♪ 776 00:53:32,142 --> 00:53:34,612 ( footsteps approaching ) 777 00:53:42,987 --> 00:53:46,723 So he just left this here out in the open? 778 00:53:46,724 --> 00:53:47,658 ( sighs ) 779 00:53:52,730 --> 00:53:54,365 ( sighs ) 780 00:54:01,706 --> 00:54:03,641 ♪♪ 781 00:54:12,049 --> 00:54:13,984 ( rubbing hands together ) 782 00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:30,468 ( sighs ) 783 00:54:34,204 --> 00:54:38,107 I have come to a decision that will be shocking 784 00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:40,877 to anyone I used to relate to. 785 00:54:40,878 --> 00:54:42,746 ♪♪ 786 00:54:42,747 --> 00:54:47,417 The presence of God has grown strong in my life. 787 00:54:47,418 --> 00:54:50,720 He told me that my panic attacks 788 00:54:50,721 --> 00:54:55,124 were caused by my shallow, sinful lifestyle. 789 00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,793 ( sighs ) 790 00:54:56,794 --> 00:55:01,798 I've come to the realization that identifying as gay 791 00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:05,802 prevents you from finding your true self within. 792 00:55:05,803 --> 00:55:08,338 And we must be our true selves 793 00:55:08,339 --> 00:55:11,342 in order to join God in his kingdom. 794 00:55:12,710 --> 00:55:16,245 Therefore, I, Michael Glatze, 795 00:55:16,246 --> 00:55:19,083 no longer identify as gay. 796 00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:25,390 ( sighs ) 797 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,124 ( sighs ) 798 00:56:04,662 --> 00:56:07,196 ( knuckles crack ) 799 00:56:07,197 --> 00:56:09,133 ( indistinct chatter ) 800 00:56:28,886 --> 00:56:30,154 ( sighs ) 801 00:56:47,838 --> 00:56:48,773 ( dings ) 802 00:56:53,210 --> 00:56:54,144 ( dings ) 803 00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:09,059 ♪♪ 804 00:57:33,250 --> 00:57:35,218 Why did you do it? 805 00:57:35,219 --> 00:57:37,154 ( sighs ) 806 00:57:38,756 --> 00:57:41,390 "Gay activist goes straight"? 807 00:57:41,391 --> 00:57:44,528 You gave the anti-gay right the story of their dreams. 808 00:57:44,529 --> 00:57:46,395 I don't know why. 809 00:57:46,396 --> 00:57:48,397 I don't know. 810 00:57:48,398 --> 00:57:50,133 Who pushed you? 811 00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:51,635 No one. 812 00:57:51,636 --> 00:57:54,504 I just wanted to tell my story. 813 00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,640 Look, I think this all happened 814 00:57:56,641 --> 00:57:58,908 because God needed to teach me a lesson. 815 00:57:58,909 --> 00:58:02,479 That's why I'm here, to make it better. 816 00:58:06,984 --> 00:58:08,451 ♪♪ 817 00:58:08,452 --> 00:58:11,521 Meditation is a way of slowing down 818 00:58:11,522 --> 00:58:15,058 and developing kindness towards yourself. 819 00:58:15,059 --> 00:58:20,597 Through mindfulness practice, we develop strength of mind. 820 00:58:20,598 --> 00:58:22,932 We become more present 821 00:58:22,933 --> 00:58:26,070 and we learn to appreciate our world. 822 00:58:31,475 --> 00:58:34,978 God works in mysterious ways. 823 00:58:34,979 --> 00:58:36,980 He has sent me to a place 824 00:58:36,981 --> 00:58:39,783 where I can get away from the physical world 825 00:58:39,784 --> 00:58:42,652 so that I can focus on my true self... 826 00:58:42,653 --> 00:58:45,655 A happier, healthier man, 827 00:58:45,656 --> 00:58:48,292 free of unnatural desires. 828 00:58:52,697 --> 00:58:53,831 ( indistinct chatter ) 829 00:58:56,466 --> 00:59:00,837 At first, I didn't understand why God would send a Christian 830 00:59:00,838 --> 00:59:03,707 to a Buddhist retreat. 831 00:59:03,708 --> 00:59:06,711 But I have faith in his plan for me. 832 00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:13,850 ♪♪ 833 00:59:13,851 --> 00:59:15,852 Desire is powerful. 834 00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:19,222 And God is testing me. 835 00:59:19,223 --> 00:59:23,728 But I refuse to give in to temptation. 836 00:59:29,033 --> 00:59:30,900 I've come to the realization 837 00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,903 that God wants me to use meditation 838 00:59:33,904 --> 00:59:37,908 to rid myself of abnormal desires. 839 00:59:39,009 --> 00:59:42,278 God gave Buddha the light to be Buddha. 840 00:59:42,279 --> 00:59:43,346 He did. 841 00:59:43,347 --> 00:59:45,882 Michael, what are you talking about? 842 00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:50,553 I just want us to be on the right path for our future, 843 00:59:50,554 --> 00:59:53,356 for our health, for the afterlife. 844 00:59:53,357 --> 00:59:57,326 I am on the right path, okay? My path. 845 00:59:57,327 --> 00:59:59,263 ♪♪ 846 01:00:07,071 --> 01:00:09,206 Michael, I... I'm sorry. 847 01:00:11,909 --> 01:00:13,744 I'm sorry, Nico. 848 01:00:32,763 --> 01:00:34,063 MICHAEL: It's the same kind of strength 849 01:00:34,064 --> 01:00:37,200 that you need to-to clear your mind. 850 01:00:37,201 --> 01:00:41,037 You know, we just, we need to find that strength 851 01:00:41,038 --> 01:00:45,474 to fight what we both know in our hearts is wrong. 852 01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,776 We just have to fight it. 853 01:00:46,777 --> 01:00:48,377 Stop, Michael. Stop. 854 01:00:48,378 --> 01:00:50,247 No, I mean... 855 01:00:59,456 --> 01:01:01,124 Michael, you're confused. 856 01:01:01,125 --> 01:01:04,895 You're very confused and it's at my expense. 857 01:01:07,464 --> 01:01:08,398 ( engine starts ) 858 01:01:13,203 --> 01:01:15,139 ♪♪ 859 01:01:16,974 --> 01:01:19,109 ( van drives away ) 860 01:01:30,487 --> 01:01:31,821 ( sighs ) 861 01:01:31,822 --> 01:01:34,490 People have been asking how I am. 862 01:01:34,491 --> 01:01:36,826 Some out of support. 863 01:01:36,827 --> 01:01:39,628 Others who think I've reconsidered. 864 01:01:39,629 --> 01:01:44,433 I've come to the realization that Bennett represents soul, 865 01:01:44,434 --> 01:01:49,572 Tyler represents body, Nico represents mind. 866 01:01:49,573 --> 01:01:53,242 Father, Son, Holy Ghost. 867 01:01:53,243 --> 01:01:55,945 I guess God need me to complete the Trinity 868 01:01:55,946 --> 01:01:58,948 in order to move on. 869 01:01:58,949 --> 01:02:01,117 So I'm ready to set the record straight. 870 01:02:01,118 --> 01:02:05,822 I was a heterosexual person with a homosexual problem, 871 01:02:05,823 --> 01:02:08,157 and I took care of that problem. 872 01:02:08,158 --> 01:02:11,061 I have not reconsidered. 873 01:02:12,196 --> 01:02:15,564 A good number of people have come forward 874 01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:17,066 and expressed their concern 875 01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:19,068 about your being involved with this organization. 876 01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:22,438 This center is supposed to accept everyone. 877 01:02:22,439 --> 01:02:24,240 Yes, and we do. 878 01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:26,575 We welcome people of all beliefs, 879 01:02:26,576 --> 01:02:29,445 but we don't tolerate hate. 880 01:02:29,446 --> 01:02:32,248 I don't hate anybody. 881 01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:36,452 Michael, you've written what some would call very hateful things. 882 01:02:36,453 --> 01:02:39,957 Those are my beliefs. 883 01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:42,758 Are you okay? 884 01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,760 Yeah. 885 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:47,630 Are you okay? 886 01:02:47,631 --> 01:02:49,332 ( sighs ) 887 01:02:49,333 --> 01:02:50,566 I don't know... 888 01:02:50,567 --> 01:02:54,770 I don't understand what has changed, but I, uh... 889 01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,573 Here we practice compassion. 890 01:02:57,574 --> 01:03:02,245 And I'm just, I'm afraid this isn't gonna work out. 891 01:03:02,246 --> 01:03:07,316 So, because I'm Christian and I express my opinions... 892 01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,819 I have to leave. 893 01:03:09,820 --> 01:03:13,423 That's so messed up. 894 01:03:25,702 --> 01:03:27,471 ♪♪ 895 01:03:50,727 --> 01:03:52,395 LAURA: That's really everything? 896 01:03:52,396 --> 01:03:54,931 Your whole life is in that one bag? 897 01:03:54,932 --> 01:03:57,267 MICHAEL: Yeah. 898 01:04:00,437 --> 01:04:02,939 Do you think you'll stay here? 899 01:04:02,940 --> 01:04:08,477 I mean, San Francisco can't be the best place for an... 900 01:04:08,478 --> 01:04:10,279 ex-gay. 901 01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:16,252 I'm not an ex-gay. I'm just me. 902 01:04:16,253 --> 01:04:19,255 Honestly, I thought you'd be happy. 903 01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:21,457 I mean, you never really approved. 904 01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,259 That's not true. 905 01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:26,795 Then why haven't we been close? 906 01:04:26,796 --> 01:04:28,597 I mean, you're my sister. 907 01:04:28,598 --> 01:04:31,601 We're supposed to be there for each other. 908 01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:36,039 We can be close now. 909 01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:38,374 I'm glad you're here. 910 01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:44,381 And I want you to be happy... Loving whomever. 911 01:04:45,849 --> 01:04:46,849 Yeah? 912 01:04:46,850 --> 01:04:48,551 Yeah. 913 01:04:48,552 --> 01:04:51,021 ( exhales deeply ) 914 01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,160 ♪♪ 915 01:05:46,676 --> 01:05:48,677 ♪♪ 916 01:05:48,678 --> 01:05:51,148 ( indistinct chatter ) 917 01:06:15,939 --> 01:06:17,074 ( chuckles ) 918 01:06:33,957 --> 01:06:35,958 I'm sorry. 919 01:06:35,959 --> 01:06:37,293 No, I can't. What? 920 01:06:37,294 --> 01:06:39,295 No, I'm sorry. Uh... 921 01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:41,797 What happened? I can't. Um... 922 01:06:41,798 --> 01:06:45,135 It's not you, it's... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. 923 01:06:47,671 --> 01:06:49,338 ( door opens ) 924 01:06:49,339 --> 01:06:52,276 ♪♪ 925 01:06:55,045 --> 01:06:57,181 ( indistinct chatter ) 926 01:07:21,004 --> 01:07:22,139 ( phone beeps ) 927 01:07:25,008 --> 01:07:26,310 ( ringing ) 928 01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,747 ( ringing ) 929 01:07:31,748 --> 01:07:36,086 Olly, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 930 01:07:42,159 --> 01:07:43,460 BENNETT: Hello? 931 01:07:46,963 --> 01:07:50,100 ( panting ) 932 01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:53,736 Michael? 933 01:07:53,737 --> 01:07:55,672 MICHAEL: Bennett. 934 01:07:58,575 --> 01:07:59,742 ( sighs ) 935 01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:01,311 Where are you? 936 01:08:02,379 --> 01:08:03,847 Are you okay? 937 01:08:07,217 --> 01:08:08,217 Michael? 938 01:08:08,218 --> 01:08:10,219 I have to go. 939 01:08:10,220 --> 01:08:12,689 Wait, why did you call me, Michael? 940 01:08:15,625 --> 01:08:17,261 ( scoffs ) 941 01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:23,732 ( sighs ) 942 01:08:23,733 --> 01:08:27,936 To my friends who are trapped in homosexuality, 943 01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:30,573 I wanna thank you for your kind comments 944 01:08:30,574 --> 01:08:34,009 and keen observations regarding my story 945 01:08:34,010 --> 01:08:38,381 and my revelation that I am no longer homosexual 946 01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:40,716 and am now heterosexual. 947 01:08:40,717 --> 01:08:45,421 The gay identity has been packaged and fed to you, 948 01:08:45,422 --> 01:08:49,592 and if you identify as gay then you have eaten it, 949 01:08:49,593 --> 01:08:52,127 preventing you from further growth 950 01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:55,030 and understanding of your true self. 951 01:08:55,031 --> 01:08:58,934 But it's not too late to save yourself. 952 01:08:58,935 --> 01:09:01,437 If you follow my lead. 953 01:09:01,438 --> 01:09:05,974 I am confident. I am blessed. 954 01:09:05,975 --> 01:09:07,943 I am strong. 955 01:09:07,944 --> 01:09:13,148 I am ready to give up my life for Christ 956 01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:16,620 in order to find my true self. 957 01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:23,693 ( sighs ) 958 01:09:28,865 --> 01:09:30,800 ( birds chirping ) 959 01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:10,974 ( sighs ) 960 01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:27,690 You sure you don't want a coffee? 961 01:10:27,691 --> 01:10:30,627 I don't drink coffee anymore. 962 01:10:35,899 --> 01:10:37,232 You're well? 963 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:39,101 Yeah. Why? 964 01:10:39,102 --> 01:10:41,605 Just asking. 965 01:10:42,706 --> 01:10:47,844 I'm great. I've never been better. 966 01:10:50,547 --> 01:10:53,550 Well, I just wanted to see how you're doing. 967 01:10:55,752 --> 01:10:57,854 So does Bennett. 968 01:10:58,922 --> 01:11:00,356 Hmm. 969 01:11:00,357 --> 01:11:02,859 I wish I could understand what you're going through. 970 01:11:05,395 --> 01:11:08,331 I just don't want to be perceived as gay 971 01:11:08,332 --> 01:11:11,099 for the rest of my experiences. 972 01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:13,803 It's that simple. 973 01:11:16,406 --> 01:11:19,542 Are you still with Bennett? 974 01:11:19,543 --> 01:11:21,143 No. 975 01:11:21,144 --> 01:11:27,350 I'm, uh, going to Europe to study space science. 976 01:11:27,351 --> 01:11:29,385 That's great. 977 01:11:29,386 --> 01:11:31,554 I'm going to Bible school. 978 01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:34,023 God told me to become a pastor. 979 01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:48,070 I don't want to open old wounds or anything, 980 01:11:48,071 --> 01:11:53,943 but I also don't know when I'll ever see you again. 981 01:11:55,912 --> 01:11:58,415 I want you to know how much you meant to me. 982 01:12:04,788 --> 01:12:08,491 I know you don't care anymore. 983 01:12:08,492 --> 01:12:12,027 But I needed to say it. 984 01:12:12,028 --> 01:12:15,030 For closure. 985 01:12:15,031 --> 01:12:17,165 ( sighs ) 986 01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,468 ( sniffles ) 987 01:12:19,469 --> 01:12:22,204 This whole thing... 988 01:12:22,205 --> 01:12:25,509 it broke my heart. 989 01:12:27,310 --> 01:12:29,845 Tyler... 990 01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:33,516 I'm sorry. 991 01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:36,786 But I need to live for myself now. 992 01:12:40,023 --> 01:12:40,957 Okay. 993 01:12:46,262 --> 01:12:47,397 Okay. 994 01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,467 Take care. 995 01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,810 ( sighs ) 996 01:13:10,420 --> 01:13:12,556 ( birds chirping ) 997 01:13:41,017 --> 01:13:44,319 MAN: Now, sometimes somebody's gonna ask you what you believe. 998 01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:46,555 They're gonna say, "You're a Christian, 999 01:13:46,556 --> 01:13:48,724 all right, what do you believe?" 1000 01:13:48,725 --> 01:13:52,728 Maybe they're an atheist or a agnostic or a Muslim 1001 01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:55,931 or a Buddha, you know, who knows what they are? 1002 01:13:55,932 --> 01:13:58,934 And you better be ready to tell 'em. 1003 01:13:58,935 --> 01:14:02,104 We believe the Bible is the Word of God, 1004 01:14:02,105 --> 01:14:07,843 the supreme, final authority in life and in our faith. 1005 01:14:07,844 --> 01:14:11,179 We believe in one God, 1006 01:14:11,180 --> 01:14:14,182 eternally existing in three persons, 1007 01:14:14,183 --> 01:14:16,752 the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 1008 01:14:16,753 --> 01:14:20,288 And we believe the sole condition 1009 01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:23,091 for receiving everlasting life 1010 01:14:23,092 --> 01:14:29,933 is belief and faith alone in the Lord Jesus Christ. 1011 01:14:32,435 --> 01:14:34,571 ♪♪ 1012 01:15:07,604 --> 01:15:10,206 ( indistinct chatter ) 1013 01:15:15,178 --> 01:15:16,111 Thank you. 1014 01:15:16,112 --> 01:15:17,947 I'll have one of those, please. 1015 01:15:31,661 --> 01:15:32,828 Hi, I'm Michael. 1016 01:15:32,829 --> 01:15:35,131 Uh, hi, I'm Rebekah. 1017 01:15:37,133 --> 01:15:40,335 ( chuckles ) Guess we like all the same things. 1018 01:15:40,336 --> 01:15:41,638 ( chuckles ) 1019 01:15:42,672 --> 01:15:44,840 I love it here. 1020 01:15:44,841 --> 01:15:47,009 I mean, I never though I'd end up in Wyoming, 1021 01:15:47,010 --> 01:15:50,746 but I feel like I've finally found my niche. 1022 01:15:50,747 --> 01:15:52,982 Where'd you think you'd end up? 1023 01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:58,020 That's a good question. I don't know. 1024 01:15:58,021 --> 01:16:01,657 All I know is that I've always wanted to help people, 1025 01:16:01,658 --> 01:16:05,594 because some people struggle so much 1026 01:16:05,595 --> 01:16:08,964 when the solution is actually very simple. 1027 01:16:08,965 --> 01:16:11,466 It's right there in Matthew 10, 1028 01:16:11,467 --> 01:16:15,704 the road may not be easy, but if we give up our lives 1029 01:16:15,705 --> 01:16:21,210 for Christ, then we'll find our true selves. 1030 01:16:28,384 --> 01:16:30,552 Where did you go to college? 1031 01:16:30,553 --> 01:16:31,920 Dartmouth. 1032 01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:33,255 Wow. 1033 01:16:33,256 --> 01:16:35,090 And you majored in music? 1034 01:16:35,091 --> 01:16:38,260 In creative writing and English literature, 1035 01:16:38,261 --> 01:16:41,797 but I minored in music theory and composition. 1036 01:16:41,798 --> 01:16:45,500 ( chuckles ) That must've kept you busy. 1037 01:16:45,501 --> 01:16:47,469 What kind of stuff did you write? 1038 01:16:47,470 --> 01:16:51,674 Well, my thesis was all poetry, actually. 1039 01:16:51,675 --> 01:16:54,542 Can I read some? 1040 01:16:54,543 --> 01:16:56,344 Oh, I don't have it anymore. 1041 01:16:56,345 --> 01:17:00,248 My poetry is from a different life. 1042 01:17:00,249 --> 01:17:01,850 But I, um... 1043 01:17:01,851 --> 01:17:06,722 I'm so interested in music now because it transcends language. 1044 01:17:06,723 --> 01:17:10,258 You know, it's like people don't have to argue about it 1045 01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:12,460 or judge it or misinterpret it. 1046 01:17:12,461 --> 01:17:14,262 They can just listen. 1047 01:17:14,263 --> 01:17:17,199 You know, I just play and they just listen. 1048 01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,333 You know? 1049 01:17:18,334 --> 01:17:20,635 I don't know if I do, to be honest, 1050 01:17:20,636 --> 01:17:23,972 but the way you say it, I want to. 1051 01:17:23,973 --> 01:17:26,308 I'm sorry, I'm just blabbing. What about you? 1052 01:17:26,309 --> 01:17:29,912 No, don't be sorry! You're not blabbing. Um... 1053 01:17:29,913 --> 01:17:31,613 I majored in theater. 1054 01:17:31,614 --> 01:17:33,415 Theater? Really? Yeah. 1055 01:17:33,416 --> 01:17:37,953 Yeah, it was really fun, but it's not like it's a real job. 1056 01:17:37,954 --> 01:17:41,123 I actually stage managed a little bit after college, 1057 01:17:41,124 --> 01:17:45,127 but I don't know, I felt adrift. 1058 01:17:45,128 --> 01:17:50,198 So I came here, hoping to figure out my path. 1059 01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:52,534 Me, too. 1060 01:17:52,535 --> 01:17:54,670 ♪♪ 1061 01:17:57,807 --> 01:17:58,942 ( dings ) 1062 01:18:06,349 --> 01:18:08,284 ( typing ) 1063 01:18:15,825 --> 01:18:16,960 ( dings ) 1064 01:18:26,269 --> 01:18:27,203 ( dings ) 1065 01:18:34,510 --> 01:18:37,013 ( sighs ) 1066 01:18:40,116 --> 01:18:43,085 ♪♪ 1067 01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:45,420 I can't believe you've never had sushi. 1068 01:18:45,421 --> 01:18:48,423 Who hasn't had sushi? It's crazy. 1069 01:18:48,424 --> 01:18:50,425 Mm. 1070 01:18:50,426 --> 01:18:51,659 Oh, no. 1071 01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:52,660 ( laughs ) 1072 01:18:52,661 --> 01:18:53,661 You don't like it. 1073 01:18:53,662 --> 01:18:54,662 I'm sorry. 1074 01:18:54,663 --> 01:18:56,932 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1075 01:18:56,933 --> 01:18:58,934 Oh... I'm sorry. 1076 01:18:58,935 --> 01:19:01,804 No, I used to hate it when my ex did that. 1077 01:19:01,805 --> 01:19:04,139 Always making decisions. 1078 01:19:04,140 --> 01:19:06,775 We can go somewhere else. No. 1079 01:19:06,776 --> 01:19:08,643 No, no, no. No, it's okay. 1080 01:19:08,644 --> 01:19:09,978 Are you sure? 1081 01:19:09,979 --> 01:19:13,982 Yes. Yeah. You like it. It's fine. 1082 01:19:13,983 --> 01:19:16,119 ( chuckles ) 1083 01:19:17,887 --> 01:19:23,558 Uh, how, um, how long ago was the ex you mentioned? 1084 01:19:23,559 --> 01:19:27,029 Oh. It was a long time ago. It was, uh... 1085 01:19:27,030 --> 01:19:29,031 I don't know why I brought that up. 1086 01:19:29,032 --> 01:19:30,899 It was stupid. 1087 01:19:30,900 --> 01:19:33,601 Well, um, was it serious? 1088 01:19:33,602 --> 01:19:36,039 Were you gonna marry her? 1089 01:19:38,074 --> 01:19:42,545 It was serious, but, um, no, not marriage. 1090 01:19:44,580 --> 01:19:46,915 What about you? 1091 01:19:46,916 --> 01:19:48,884 Oh, no, I've... 1092 01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:51,386 I've never been in a serious relationship. 1093 01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:56,258 My parents are very, very conservative. 1094 01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:58,593 Do you think they'd approve of me? 1095 01:19:58,594 --> 01:20:02,297 ( chuckles ) The future pastor I met at Bible school? 1096 01:20:02,298 --> 01:20:04,867 Yes, I think they'd approve. 1097 01:20:04,868 --> 01:20:06,870 ( both chuckle ) 1098 01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,411 ♪♪ 1099 01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,254 ( chuckles ) 1100 01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:29,258 ( chuckles ) 1101 01:20:30,860 --> 01:20:32,996 ♪♪ 1102 01:20:40,970 --> 01:20:42,205 Rebekah. 1103 01:20:43,272 --> 01:20:44,272 Hi. 1104 01:20:44,273 --> 01:20:46,275 Hi. 1105 01:20:47,643 --> 01:20:49,611 What? 1106 01:20:49,612 --> 01:20:51,413 I just... 1107 01:20:51,414 --> 01:20:54,582 Since when do you wear shirts like that? 1108 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:58,586 What? It's not inappropriate and it's hot out. 1109 01:20:58,587 --> 01:21:03,326 You're here to serve our Lord, not distract our men. 1110 01:21:04,560 --> 01:21:08,096 I don't think I'm distracting anyone. 1111 01:21:08,097 --> 01:21:10,265 Is this about Michael? 1112 01:21:10,266 --> 01:21:14,269 We are not letting what we have get in the way of our studies. 1113 01:21:14,270 --> 01:21:17,206 Besides, the Lord brought us together. 1114 01:21:18,141 --> 01:21:20,675 It's about his past. 1115 01:21:20,676 --> 01:21:22,145 What about it? 1116 01:21:23,679 --> 01:21:26,115 You really don't know? 1117 01:21:27,550 --> 01:21:29,952 ( chuckles ) Know what? 1118 01:21:29,953 --> 01:21:32,088 ( typing ) 1119 01:21:38,427 --> 01:21:41,230 ( sighs ) 1120 01:21:50,873 --> 01:21:52,040 ( whispering ) Rebekah. 1121 01:21:52,041 --> 01:21:53,608 ( whispering ) Oh. Hi. 1122 01:21:53,609 --> 01:21:55,543 ( whispering ) Are we still meeting? 1123 01:21:55,544 --> 01:21:58,880 ( whispering ) Yeah, just let me finish this. I'll be right there. 1124 01:21:58,881 --> 01:22:01,950 ( whispering ) Okay. I'll be in the cafeteria. 1125 01:22:01,951 --> 01:22:03,419 ( whispering ) Okay. 1126 01:22:05,888 --> 01:22:07,523 ( sighs ) 1127 01:22:11,894 --> 01:22:13,229 ( sighs ) 1128 01:22:23,239 --> 01:22:25,541 I have something I have to tell you. 1129 01:22:29,745 --> 01:22:32,081 You already know, don't you? 1130 01:22:36,085 --> 01:22:38,753 Are you still attracted to men? 1131 01:22:38,754 --> 01:22:41,156 No. 1132 01:22:41,157 --> 01:22:44,359 It's in the past. 1133 01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:45,693 Okay, I... 1134 01:22:45,694 --> 01:22:47,195 God showed me the light. 1135 01:22:47,196 --> 01:22:49,697 He showed me the truth. 1136 01:22:49,698 --> 01:22:53,768 A lot of people have pasts they're not proud of, 1137 01:22:53,769 --> 01:22:57,506 but God forgives, right? 1138 01:22:59,108 --> 01:23:02,444 My life has changed so much since I've met you. 1139 01:23:02,445 --> 01:23:05,613 And my feelings for you are real. 1140 01:23:05,614 --> 01:23:10,118 My feelings for you are real, too. 1141 01:23:10,119 --> 01:23:16,124 But I feel like we should just keep hanging out and see what happens. 1142 01:23:16,125 --> 01:23:20,128 Maybe not settle on anything too specific. 1143 01:23:20,129 --> 01:23:22,398 If that's okay. 1144 01:23:23,799 --> 01:23:25,734 Okay. 1145 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:39,181 ( exhales deeply ) 1146 01:23:39,182 --> 01:23:40,649 ( footsteps approaching ) 1147 01:23:52,995 --> 01:23:56,199 Hi, I'm Michael. 1148 01:24:08,611 --> 01:24:10,546 ♪♪ 1149 01:24:31,667 --> 01:24:37,539 Now, I wanna tell you a little secret 1150 01:24:37,540 --> 01:24:41,810 about a great gift from God. 1151 01:24:43,379 --> 01:24:45,713 This gift is a human emotion 1152 01:24:45,714 --> 01:24:49,852 and considered destructive by the enemies of God. 1153 01:24:54,223 --> 01:24:56,224 Fear. 1154 01:24:56,225 --> 01:25:01,929 You can never, never, never stop 1155 01:25:01,930 --> 01:25:04,966 fearing yourself. 1156 01:25:04,967 --> 01:25:09,637 We are our own worst enemies. 1157 01:25:09,638 --> 01:25:15,644 And we must fear ourselves till the day we meet God himself. 1158 01:25:17,613 --> 01:25:22,817 God didn't put us here to live our lives in constant fear. 1159 01:25:22,818 --> 01:25:24,152 No, of course not. 1160 01:25:24,153 --> 01:25:28,022 And then he scolded me for asking questions. 1161 01:25:28,023 --> 01:25:29,224 REBEKAH: Well, that's not fair. 1162 01:25:29,225 --> 01:25:30,425 We're here to learn 1163 01:25:30,426 --> 01:25:31,826 and we learn in part by asking questions. 1164 01:25:31,827 --> 01:25:35,397 No, we're here to serve God, not to identify 1165 01:25:35,398 --> 01:25:39,402 as the exact kind of Christians they want us to be. 1166 01:25:40,936 --> 01:25:42,370 I'm sorry. 1167 01:25:42,371 --> 01:25:44,172 REBEKAH: Don't be. 1168 01:25:44,173 --> 01:25:48,177 You know what's best because that's God speaking through you. 1169 01:25:55,284 --> 01:25:57,753 You wanted to see me? 1170 01:25:59,455 --> 01:26:02,257 Now, you've been rallying the students against us 1171 01:26:02,258 --> 01:26:05,828 as though you're being controlled by the devil himself. 1172 01:26:08,464 --> 01:26:11,466 I've learned a lot about the Bible here, 1173 01:26:11,467 --> 01:26:13,468 and for that I thank you. 1174 01:26:13,469 --> 01:26:19,073 But I refuse to be controlled by anyone other than God. 1175 01:26:19,074 --> 01:26:20,875 I follow my own path. 1176 01:26:20,876 --> 01:26:23,546 Yeah, and you want others to follow you. 1177 01:26:25,481 --> 01:26:27,982 Perhaps it's best if we mail you your diploma 1178 01:26:27,983 --> 01:26:30,819 and that you not attend the ceremony. 1179 01:26:36,325 --> 01:26:39,026 I don't know if I can stay here anymore. 1180 01:26:39,027 --> 01:26:40,963 Oh. Where will we go? 1181 01:26:42,998 --> 01:26:44,467 We? 1182 01:26:46,502 --> 01:26:50,838 Uh, I've been praying about it. 1183 01:26:50,839 --> 01:26:54,108 About us. 1184 01:26:54,109 --> 01:27:00,848 I told God how I feel about you and how much you mean to me. 1185 01:27:00,849 --> 01:27:02,717 And you know what? 1186 01:27:02,718 --> 01:27:05,219 ( sighs ) 1187 01:27:05,220 --> 01:27:08,323 I was consumed with nothing but peace. 1188 01:27:08,324 --> 01:27:11,693 Pure peace. 1189 01:27:11,694 --> 01:27:14,862 ( sighs ) 1190 01:27:14,863 --> 01:27:17,265 I love you. 1191 01:27:17,266 --> 01:27:19,402 I love you, too. 1192 01:27:53,235 --> 01:27:55,737 And be not conformed to this world. 1193 01:27:55,738 --> 01:27:59,741 But be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, 1194 01:27:59,742 --> 01:28:05,112 that you may prove that good, glorious, 1195 01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:07,982 and perfect will of God. 1196 01:28:07,983 --> 01:28:09,784 ( sighs ) 1197 01:28:09,785 --> 01:28:13,488 That you may know that good, acceptable, 1198 01:28:13,489 --> 01:28:15,624 and perfect will of God. 1199 01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:25,434 ♪♪ 1200 01:28:45,921 --> 01:28:52,326 PAUL: Which would you prefer to have? Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops? 1201 01:28:52,327 --> 01:28:54,028 Well, obviously Fruit Loops. 1202 01:28:54,029 --> 01:28:55,497 Why? Why obviously? 1203 01:28:55,498 --> 01:28:57,500 Well, you're a Fruit Loop. 1204 01:29:01,303 --> 01:29:05,107 ( indistinct chatter ) 1205 01:29:17,486 --> 01:29:19,353 There you are. 1206 01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:20,989 Are you okay? 1207 01:29:22,224 --> 01:29:24,527 Yeah, I'm fine. 1208 01:29:29,665 --> 01:29:31,032 Okay, got 'em. 1209 01:29:31,033 --> 01:29:31,967 ( chuckles ) 1210 01:29:34,503 --> 01:29:36,037 You get everything? 1211 01:29:36,038 --> 01:29:37,072 Mm-hmm. 1212 01:29:40,342 --> 01:29:42,845 ANTHONY: These are going to storage. 1213 01:29:47,049 --> 01:29:47,983 ( sighs ) 1214 01:29:50,152 --> 01:29:53,521 Well, so you can have a little more room for your shoes? 1215 01:29:53,522 --> 01:29:55,022 Shut up. 1216 01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:57,659 I have never seen anyone with more shoes than you. 1217 01:29:57,660 --> 01:29:59,795 You can never have too many shoes. 1218 01:30:12,074 --> 01:30:13,709 Get those out of here. 1219 01:30:26,221 --> 01:30:28,691 ( phone rings ) 1220 01:30:33,228 --> 01:30:34,395 Hello? 1221 01:30:34,396 --> 01:30:35,698 MICHAEL: Hi. 1222 01:30:39,234 --> 01:30:40,468 ( papers drop ) 1223 01:30:40,469 --> 01:30:42,638 Hi. 1224 01:30:44,940 --> 01:30:46,273 How are you? 1225 01:30:46,274 --> 01:30:48,610 Good. 1226 01:30:48,611 --> 01:30:51,112 I finished school. 1227 01:30:51,113 --> 01:30:53,949 But I'm no longer on their path. 1228 01:30:55,751 --> 01:30:59,453 So what path are you on now? 1229 01:30:59,454 --> 01:31:01,355 My own. 1230 01:31:01,356 --> 01:31:04,560 I'm going to be the pastor of my own church. 1231 01:31:08,263 --> 01:31:09,263 ( sighs ) 1232 01:31:09,264 --> 01:31:11,866 Why are you calling? 1233 01:31:11,867 --> 01:31:12,801 Um... 1234 01:31:14,436 --> 01:31:16,771 I, uh... 1235 01:31:16,772 --> 01:31:19,440 I got the picture you sent of Olly. 1236 01:31:19,441 --> 01:31:21,643 I know it was months ago, but I didn't respond. 1237 01:31:21,644 --> 01:31:24,512 So how is she? 1238 01:31:24,513 --> 01:31:25,847 ( sighs ) 1239 01:31:25,848 --> 01:31:28,049 Oh, she's getting old. 1240 01:31:28,050 --> 01:31:29,316 But she's okay. 1241 01:31:29,317 --> 01:31:30,918 She has this 1242 01:31:30,919 --> 01:31:33,721 stuffed animal that she carries around with her now 1243 01:31:33,722 --> 01:31:36,057 everywhere she goes like it's her baby. 1244 01:31:36,058 --> 01:31:37,324 ( chuckles ) 1245 01:31:37,325 --> 01:31:39,762 ( chuckles ) 1246 01:31:41,997 --> 01:31:43,798 Bennett... 1247 01:31:43,799 --> 01:31:47,334 I should tell you before someone else does. 1248 01:31:47,335 --> 01:31:48,804 I'm engaged. 1249 01:31:50,005 --> 01:31:53,676 To a... really amazing woman. 1250 01:31:55,110 --> 01:31:57,411 Now, I know what you're thinking because 1251 01:31:57,412 --> 01:31:59,847 I asked myself the same thing... 1252 01:31:59,848 --> 01:32:01,849 Am I really in love with her 1253 01:32:01,850 --> 01:32:06,353 or am I only doing this to be right in God's eyes? 1254 01:32:06,354 --> 01:32:10,693 And I'm truly in love with her, Bennett. 1255 01:32:12,761 --> 01:32:15,930 God went to the root of my same sex desires 1256 01:32:15,931 --> 01:32:17,932 and he uprooted them. 1257 01:32:17,933 --> 01:32:21,468 He demonstrated that they were abnormal. 1258 01:32:21,469 --> 01:32:22,937 Michael... 1259 01:32:22,938 --> 01:32:26,642 I'm really glad you think you're happy. 1260 01:32:28,844 --> 01:32:30,712 And I wish you all the best. 1261 01:32:30,713 --> 01:32:33,480 I really do. I think you know that. 1262 01:32:33,481 --> 01:32:37,685 But I have no idea why you would call me up 1263 01:32:37,686 --> 01:32:39,822 and use words like "abnormal." 1264 01:32:42,157 --> 01:32:46,360 I'm so sorry for the way that things went down. 1265 01:32:46,361 --> 01:32:49,396 But just because we don't 1266 01:32:49,397 --> 01:32:51,032 share certain beliefs, 1267 01:32:51,033 --> 01:32:54,870 it doesn't mean that we can't still be friends. 1268 01:32:57,873 --> 01:33:00,008 I'll always be your friend. 1269 01:33:02,544 --> 01:33:06,047 And I really hope that this path 1270 01:33:06,048 --> 01:33:08,350 takes you where you wanna go. 1271 01:33:10,318 --> 01:33:13,988 But I also hope that... 1272 01:33:13,989 --> 01:33:17,091 as you're setting out to help other people... 1273 01:33:17,092 --> 01:33:20,595 that you really take some time to help yourself. 1274 01:33:23,799 --> 01:33:27,301 I-I am. I... 1275 01:33:27,302 --> 01:33:30,838 I'm not gonna sit here and say that I know 1276 01:33:30,839 --> 01:33:34,041 I'll be this way for the rest of my life. 1277 01:33:34,042 --> 01:33:37,578 We're always changing, evolving. 1278 01:33:37,579 --> 01:33:40,248 And I'm open to that. 1279 01:33:43,418 --> 01:33:45,419 ( sighs ) 1280 01:33:45,420 --> 01:33:48,222 Then... 1281 01:33:48,223 --> 01:33:52,126 I guess nothing's really changed. 1282 01:33:52,127 --> 01:33:54,930 Yeah. 1283 01:33:56,131 --> 01:33:58,400 You take care of yourself, okay? 1284 01:34:01,436 --> 01:34:03,706 Goodbye, Michael. 1285 01:34:07,309 --> 01:34:08,442 Bye. 1286 01:34:08,443 --> 01:34:09,377 ( phone beeps ) 1287 01:34:13,315 --> 01:34:14,950 ( sighs ) 1288 01:34:27,996 --> 01:34:29,932 ♪♪ 1289 01:34:49,484 --> 01:34:50,953 ( doors open ) 1290 01:34:52,487 --> 01:34:53,755 ( music stops ) 1291 01:34:53,756 --> 01:34:55,757 REBEKAH: Here they come. 1292 01:34:55,758 --> 01:34:57,893 ( footsteps approaching ) 1293 01:35:01,363 --> 01:35:03,298 ♪♪ 1294 01:35:53,882 --> 01:35:56,018 ( panting ) 1295 01:36:06,528 --> 01:36:12,266 ♪ Every finger in the room is pointing at me ♪ 1296 01:36:12,267 --> 01:36:15,136 ♪ I wanna spit in their faces 1297 01:36:15,137 --> 01:36:18,005 ♪ Then I get afraid of what that could bring ♪ 1298 01:36:18,006 --> 01:36:20,875 ♪ I got a bowling ball in my stomach ♪ 1299 01:36:20,876 --> 01:36:23,544 ♪ I got a desert in my mouth 1300 01:36:23,545 --> 01:36:29,283 ♪ Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now ♪ 1301 01:36:29,284 --> 01:36:34,822 ♪ I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets ♪ 1302 01:36:34,823 --> 01:36:40,561 ♪ Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets ♪ 1303 01:36:40,562 --> 01:36:43,630 ♪ I've been raising up my hands ♪ 1304 01:36:43,631 --> 01:36:46,500 ♪ Drive another nail in 1305 01:36:46,501 --> 01:36:49,136 ♪ Just what God needs 1306 01:36:49,137 --> 01:36:52,006 ♪ One more victim 1307 01:36:52,007 --> 01:36:57,744 ♪ Why do we crucify ourselves? 1308 01:36:57,745 --> 01:37:00,614 ♪ Every day 1309 01:37:00,615 --> 01:37:02,884 ♪ I crucify myself 1310 01:37:02,885 --> 01:37:05,887 ♪ Nothing I do is good enough for you ♪ 1311 01:37:05,888 --> 01:37:08,622 ♪ Crucify myself 1312 01:37:08,623 --> 01:37:11,458 ♪ Every day 1313 01:37:11,459 --> 01:37:14,295 ♪ I crucify myself 1314 01:37:14,296 --> 01:37:17,164 ♪ My heart is sick of being 1315 01:37:17,165 --> 01:37:24,338 ♪ I said my heart is sick of being in chains ♪ 1316 01:37:24,339 --> 01:37:25,772 ♪ Oh, oh 1317 01:37:25,773 --> 01:37:29,843 ♪ Chains 1318 01:37:29,844 --> 01:37:32,113 ♪ Oh, oh 1319 01:37:32,114 --> 01:37:34,181 ♪ Got a kick for a dog 1320 01:37:34,182 --> 01:37:37,251 ♪ Beggin' for love ♪ 1321 01:37:37,252 --> 01:37:40,121 ♪ I gotta have my suffering 1322 01:37:40,122 --> 01:37:42,990 ♪ So that I can have my cross 1323 01:37:42,991 --> 01:37:45,492 ♪ I know a cat named Easter 1324 01:37:45,493 --> 01:37:48,495 ♪ He says, "Will you ever learn?" ♪ 1325 01:37:48,496 --> 01:37:51,698 ♪ You're just an empty cage, girl ♪ 1326 01:37:51,699 --> 01:37:54,368 ♪ If you kill the bird 1327 01:37:54,369 --> 01:38:00,541 ♪ I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets ♪ 1328 01:38:00,542 --> 01:38:05,913 ♪ Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets ♪ 1329 01:38:05,914 --> 01:38:08,916 ♪ I've been raising up my hands ♪ 1330 01:38:08,917 --> 01:38:11,585 ♪ Drive another nail in 1331 01:38:11,586 --> 01:38:17,124 ♪ Got enough guilt to start my own religion ♪ 1332 01:38:17,125 --> 01:38:22,129 ♪ Why do we crucify ourselves? 1333 01:38:22,130 --> 01:38:24,999 ♪ Every day 1334 01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:28,002 ♪ I crucify myself 1335 01:38:28,003 --> 01:38:31,172 ♪ Nothing I do is good enough for you ♪ 1336 01:38:31,173 --> 01:38:33,840 ♪ Crucify myself 1337 01:38:33,841 --> 01:38:36,843 ♪ Every day 1338 01:38:36,844 --> 01:38:39,413 ♪ I crucify myself 1339 01:38:39,414 --> 01:38:42,283 ♪ My heart is sick of being 1340 01:38:42,284 --> 01:38:49,456 ♪ I said my heart is sick of being in chains ♪ 1341 01:38:49,457 --> 01:38:51,458 ♪ Oh, oh 1342 01:38:51,459 --> 01:38:55,462 ♪ Chains 1343 01:38:55,463 --> 01:38:57,464 ♪ Oh, oh 1344 01:38:57,465 --> 01:39:03,470 ♪ Please be 1345 01:39:03,471 --> 01:39:08,976 ♪ Save me 1346 01:39:08,977 --> 01:39:16,084 ♪ I cry 1347 01:39:17,085 --> 01:39:20,421 ♪ Ah, ah 1348 01:39:20,422 --> 01:39:25,926 ♪ Looking for a savior in these dirty streets ♪ 1349 01:39:25,927 --> 01:39:31,132 ♪ Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets ♪ 1350 01:39:31,133 --> 01:39:34,135 ♪ I've been raising up my hands ♪ 1351 01:39:34,136 --> 01:39:36,803 ♪ Drive another nail in 1352 01:39:36,804 --> 01:39:43,010 ♪ Where are those angels when you need them? ♪ 1353 01:39:43,011 --> 01:39:47,548 ♪ Why do we crucify ourselves? 1354 01:39:47,549 --> 01:39:50,617 ♪ Every day 1355 01:39:50,618 --> 01:39:53,187 ♪ I crucify myself 1356 01:39:53,188 --> 01:39:56,557 ♪ And nothing I do is good enough for you ♪ 1357 01:39:56,558 --> 01:39:59,060 ♪ Crucify myself 1358 01:39:59,061 --> 01:40:02,063 ♪ Every day 1359 01:40:02,064 --> 01:40:04,931 ♪ I crucify myself 1360 01:40:04,932 --> 01:40:07,734 ♪ My heart is sick of being 1361 01:40:07,735 --> 01:40:14,908 ♪ I said my heart is sick of being in chains ♪ 1362 01:40:14,909 --> 01:40:16,910 ♪ Oh, oh 1363 01:40:16,911 --> 01:40:20,414 ♪ Chains 1364 01:40:20,415 --> 01:40:26,953 ♪ Why do we crucify ourselves? 1365 01:40:26,954 --> 01:40:29,656 ♪ Every day 1366 01:40:29,657 --> 01:40:32,459 ♪ Crucify ourselves 1367 01:40:32,460 --> 01:40:38,132 ♪ Why do we crucify ourselves? 1368 01:40:38,133 --> 01:40:43,804 ♪ Why do we crucify ourselves? 1369 01:40:43,805 --> 01:40:50,511 ♪ Never going back again to crucify myself again ♪ 1370 01:40:50,512 --> 01:40:56,049 ♪ You know never going back again to crucify myself ♪ 1371 01:40:56,050 --> 01:41:00,054 ♪ Every day89026

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