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1
00:00:00,542 --> 00:00:02,043
called Latte Larry's.
2
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:04,337
Why am I getting
into the coffee game?
3
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:07,632
Because I went to this
coffee shop next door,
4
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,926
and the guy was such a jerk
5
00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:12,428
that I felt like
I had to do something,
6
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,388
and now, you know what?
7
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,015
I got me a little spite store.
8
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,100
Tremendous things
in here, by the way.
You're gonna love it.
9
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,727
Look at this.
Coat rack.
10
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,103
You ever see
that anywhere?
11
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,855
Tables, they don't wobble.
12
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:24,899
And self‐heating
coffee cups.
13
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,567
Keeps coffee hot for two hours.
14
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:29,695
Check out that sign.
This is a defecation‐free store.
15
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,489
That's the kind of feature
you dream about.
16
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,448
No defecating!
17
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,408
Urinators... welcome.
18
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:36,077
But if you are a defecator,
19
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,330
or planning on defecating
anytime soon,
20
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,707
don't come down here.
This is not your place.
21
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,793
Stay home.
Go next door.
22
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,503
So come on down
to Latte Larry's
23
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,255
and have a hot cup
of spite with me!
24
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,257
You're not gonna believe
what's going on in here.
25
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,259
- You'll be very impressed.
- (sign shatters)
26
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:52,553
Come on!
27
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,723
(theme music playing)
28
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,688
Larry, that is the most
amazing urinary experience
29
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,481
- I've ever had in my life.
- How about the tray?
30
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:09,443
It caught every drop,
every single drop.
Thank you.
31
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,445
- (claps)
- Every drop.
32
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,115
- Well, it's all working.
- Wow, man.
33
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,908
Huh? You were right
about the beans.
34
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,243
Hey, going
to Mickey's wedding,
35
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,661
it's the greatest thing
we ever did.
36
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,079
You know what I'm thinking?
37
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,415
I'm thinking,
you need a title.
38
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,251
- I need a fuckin' title.
- You know, like
assistant manager,
39
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,878
‐in charge of beans.
‐How about this one?
Bean cobbler.
40
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,047
- Bean‐meister.
- I like bean‐meister.
41
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:33,010
- I'm gonna go use
the pee cube.
- Peek your head in there.
42
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:38,931
Mocha Joe:
See what I'm saying?
43
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,267
All day long,
ever since he opened,
in and out.
44
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,144
And it's a little light
around here today.
45
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,146
- What do we do?
- It would be great
if you could go over there
46
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,023
- and just sort of
check out the vibe.
- Why don't you go?
47
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:47,982
- I'm banned.
- You're banned?
48
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:49,317
And, yeah.
And my mother.
49
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,860
Do you believe it?
Who's a saint,
by the way.
50
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,653
‐Your mom's banned?
‐Yeah, yeah.
Just, you know,
51
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,071
get a cup of coffee
and come back.
52
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,364
Okay.
53
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,033
Oh, hey. Uh,
54
00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:59,160
- a little wobbly.
- Yeah, you just put
your foot on it, like that.
55
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,705
- It's not a big deal.
All right, thanks.
- All right.
56
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,170
♪ ♪
57
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:15,843
Aha, hey!
Look who's here.
58
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,845
Hi. Is this for your benefit?
59
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,555
In case there's any
handshaking to be done,
60
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:20,890
- I know I'm safe.
- (laughing)
61
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,310
- Have a little squirt.
- How'd you do this?
62
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,853
- No wobble.
- Boy, that's solid.
63
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,481
You know, when you want
to do something bad enough,
you get it done, Ted.
64
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,067
Hey. How about a cup of coffee
for Mr. Danson?
65
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,860
Thank you very much.
66
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,278
- (laughs)
- On the house.
67
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:36,073
Oh, that's very
sweet of you. Yeah.
68
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,708
- Coffee. (laughs)
- Larry: Yeah.
69
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,043
Make sure to tell Mocha Joe
70
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,920
about all the amenities
that we have here.
71
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,380
I think he'd enjoy that.
72
00:02:52,381 --> 00:02:55,091
Oh, hey. I know how, you know,
fond you are of me, so,
73
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,093
I share this
to make you happy.
74
00:02:57,094 --> 00:02:58,636
I'm going out
with Cheryl tonight.
75
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,054
- Thought you
might want to know.
- Oh.
76
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,139
- Thanks for keeping me
in the loop.
- You bet.
77
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,016
- Should be fun.
- She's a fun gal.
78
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,727
(laughs)
79
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,522
Gotta say, you know,
he's doing some
interesting things.
80
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,233
What do you mean?
81
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,157
Son of a bitch!
82
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,742
- That's good.
He's got the beans.
- Yeah.
83
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,788
(sighs) It's good.
I don't know
how he did it.
84
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,248
‐No, this is‐‐
‐Yeah, but I gotta
taste it again.
85
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,917
Whoa, whoa.
Get your own.
86
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:34,297
♪ ♪
87
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,100
- (horn blares)
- Aah!
88
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,772
Larry: I was nervous.
I threw the phone,
and I took off.
89
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,399
I had, like,
this total beep panic.
90
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,484
'Cause you just
want to get away from,
from the other person.
91
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,319
- It's humiliating.
Yeah, it is.
- It's embarrassing.
92
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,280
'Cause you never wanna
see this person again.
93
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,574
- Right?
- It's almost like you're,
like, caught doing something.
94
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,784
You know, once I panicked,
I threw my phone out the window.
95
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,953
- What'd you do?
- I had to get out of the car
and get the phone.
96
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,830
- Did you see the guy?
- Of course I saw the guy.
97
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,457
- What did he say?
- He beeped,
he was beeping
98
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,459
as I was, as I was
getting out of the car.
99
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,043
- You put it in park.
- Yeah, of course
I put it in park.
100
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,503
Well, I don't know.
If you're so upset,
who knows.
101
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,505
By the way, think about that,
you leave it in drive,
102
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,466
‐you're just so overwhelmed...
‐Freddy: Right.
That's what I mean.
103
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,885
...so easy, get out of your car
and your car is rolling
down the street.
104
00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:23,262
- Turn into a whole thing.
- Freddy: Let's say
he didn't put it in park.
105
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,014
Maybe the car goes
through the light
and hits a stroller.
106
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,057
- Who's responsible?
I'm just saying‐‐
- Oh, so I killed a baby?
107
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,601
- He could have.
- I killed a baby?
108
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,561
- There, you're arrested
for manslaughter.
- That's right.
109
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,979
- All because you were texting.
- That's right.
110
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,147
And now
you killed a child.
111
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,732
And now, how do
you live with that?
112
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,651
Or you can go this way.
This baby was the Hitler
of the future.
113
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:41,071
No. Listen to me.
I love the imagination,
but it was a real story
114
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,907
with real people.
It didn't need sci‐fi.
115
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,617
- Yeah, what are you
throwing sci‐fi in there?
- Why are you making‐‐
116
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,535
Larry and Freddy:
You're missing
the whole point.
117
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:48,162
Where's our food?
This is unbelievable.
118
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,039
- Yeah. Where is she?
I'm still hungry.
- I'm starving.
119
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,749
Even though
the baby's dead,
I still wanna eat.
120
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,210
By the way,
Susie's going out of town.
121
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,505
So I was thinking...
golf trip.
122
00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:00,007
It's rare for me to have
this opportunity.
123
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,550
Let's go to Pebble Beach.
124
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,010
- Wow.
- Fun.
125
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,845
- Fantastic idea.
- I love that. I love that.
126
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,347
- Pebble Beach.
- Who's our fourth?
127
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,515
- Lewis.
- Larry: Lewis?
128
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,350
If he can take a break
from his rehearsals.
129
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,727
- (guffaws)
- Larry: Yeah. I mean, he might
not even be able to do it.
130
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,729
He's doing
Flowers for Algernon.
131
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,105
‐Jeff: Charlie.
‐Larry: Charlie!
Cliff Robertson‐‐
132
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,357
- in the movie.
- I remember I read the book.
133
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,608
Yeah, in a small theater.
134
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:18,818
- Freddy:
Why's he doing that?
- Because,
135
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,569
you know why?
I'm gonna tell you why.
136
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,196
Many of my clients do this.
137
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,156
They feel that
unless they can play
138
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,367
- a mentally challenged person...
- Larry: Yeah.
139
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,911
...that they're not, uh,
worthy as an actor.
140
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,162
No one wants
to see him do that.
141
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,539
I think that's
where you're wrong.
142
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,957
- I do.
- Jeff: Are we going together?
143
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,542
- I do. Yeah.
- Jeff: Are we going together?
144
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,709
I'm going to every performance.
145
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,044
- Jeff: I'll be there.
- Larry: Yeah.
146
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,921
- Oh. Boy, that looks great.
- God, I'm hungry!
147
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,673
- I should've got the chicken.
It looks terrific.
- Oh, yeah.
148
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,383
- I'll give you a piece.
- That looks terrific.
149
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,385
- Jeff: Oh, it smells great.
- I'm so sorry again
for the delay.
150
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,554
I have diarrhea, so...
151
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,430
I'm gonna come right back
in a little bit
152
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,058
and check on you, okay?
153
00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,692
Having or had?
154
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,695
I'm pretty sure she said "have."
155
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:06,616
So she's in the throes of it.
156
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,413
(all muttering)
157
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,873
I'm gonna go home.
158
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,332
I'm gonna go
to the BMW dealer.
159
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,418
Get some licorice.
They got the most
fantastic licorice
160
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,711
I've ever had in my life.
161
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,379
I pretend there's
something wrong
with my car,
162
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,089
and then I grab a ton of it.
163
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:26,261
♪ ♪
164
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,140
(sighs)
165
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,559
Happened again.
The lights, you know,
166
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,313
it all...
(muttering)
167
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,074
Mr. David.
168
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,451
You're back again.
169
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,411
Hey. How ya doin'?
170
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,704
I'm doing all right.
How are you?
You run into
171
00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,955
another problem
with the car?
172
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,749
- Yeah. I'm not kidding.
- You're kidding?
173
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,292
This is like
the third time
this month.
174
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,044
- What's going on?
- The, uh, the vents.
175
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,755
The air comes out
and makes a bit
of a whistling sound.
176
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,342
- Oh.
- (whistling)
177
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,094
- The car is whistling.
- Yeah. Yeah.
178
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,596
- It's annoying.
I can tell you that.
- Yeah.
179
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,222
The last time you were here,
you didn't have the whistle.
180
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:13,932
You had the check engine
light that was blinking.
181
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,726
- Yeah.
- But we couldn't
replicate the blink.
182
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,852
- Is that so?
- This is the third
183
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,187
or fourth time
this month, right?
184
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,730
The time before was
something with the steering,
185
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,774
- it was pulling?
- Steering was pulling, yeah.
186
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,651
By the way,
187
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,654
where do you get that licorice?
188
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,946
- The licorice?
- Yeah.
189
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,573
I don't know.
Maybe Bavaria.
190
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,575
- Bavaria?
- I will find out
191
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,535
- where the licorice
comes from.
- Yeah.
192
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,120
And hopefully
we will figure out
193
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,498
- what the problem is
with your car, too.
- I hope so.
194
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,667
I'm getting a little tired
of coming in here all the time,
195
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,669
- you know?
- Yeah. I see that.
196
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,046
I will see what we can do.
All right?
197
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,174
♪ ♪
198
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,528
You can't‐‐
$1.30 a cup?
199
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,946
We're not gonna make
any money doing that.
200
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,156
- What choice do I have?
- Put in some coat racks!
201
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,200
- No way!
It's Southern California!
- One coat rack!
202
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,036
- We don't need a coat rack!
- All right, then at least
fix your scones, Joe!
203
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,955
You eat them
like they're going
out of style!
204
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,082
- (arguing loudly)
- Guys. Hey, guys.
205
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:23,044
Keep it down.
You're disturbing
the customers.
206
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,547
- They're too moist.
- You never had a problem
with the scones before.
207
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,133
- They're too moist.
- You never had a problem
with them before.
208
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:30,551
Come in, come in.
209
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:31,927
Enjoy the low prices.
210
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,512
Hey, have you tried
Mocha Joe's?
211
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,556
Hey, you remember me?
Ted Danson?
212
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,974
Cheers?
213
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,352
Becker? Cheers?
Any‐‐ You remember me?
214
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,573
♪ ♪
215
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,417
(sighs)
Fuckin' tables.
216
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,002
Hey. Come on, buddy.
217
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,962
- Come on, what?
- You gotta relax.
218
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,548
Relax what? $1.10 a cup,
Mr. Danson.
219
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,216
I mean, really.
Who are we kidding here?
220
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,593
You got money invested
in this thing!
221
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,428
Joe, I'm worried about you.
I'm serious.
222
00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:16,513
Look, play some golf,
you know?
223
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,891
- Get a massage.
Go to the movies.
- How can I go to the movies?
224
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,185
- I'm running a business here.
- Okay, I'll tell you what.
225
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,312
I'm gonna lend you
some of my screeners.
226
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,481
- What are screeners?
- Um,
227
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:28,400
they're DVDs of all
the latest movies
228
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,110
the Academy gives us
so we can vote.
229
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,696
The thing is, though,
you gotta give 'em
back to me,
230
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,865
'cause they're all watermarked
or something.
231
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,825
- I could get into trouble.
- That's really nice of you.
232
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,118
I really appreciate it,
Mr. Danson.
233
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,453
My mom would like that, too.
234
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,788
Can I get you
a cup of coffee?
235
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,749
From here?
No, I'm good.
236
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,585
Jeff:
♪ Hanukkah,
Oh Hanukkah ♪
237
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,296
♪ Come light the menorah ♪
238
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,006
♪ We'll have a party ♪
239
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,467
♪ We'll all dance the hora ♪
240
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,470
(humming)
♪ Hanukkah! ♪
241
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,597
♪ Lovin' the Hanukkah ♪
242
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,142
♪ Ya‐da‐da, da‐da‐da,
da‐da‐da, da‐da‐da ♪
243
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,312
(scatting and humming)
244
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,856
Ha!
245
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,735
Mm.
246
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,279
You have a wonderful trip.
247
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,406
What the fuck are you
so happy about right now?
248
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:17,449
Nothing.
249
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,243
Bags back in the car.
I'm not going.
250
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,662
- What are you talking about?
- Bags back in the car.
251
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,247
- Take me home.
- What?
252
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:26,334
♪ ♪
253
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,506
Mocha Joe: I don't know
how much longer I can do it,
Ma. I'm slashing prices,
254
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:35,008
but every time
I make them lower,
he lowers his!
255
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,510
Listen, you've gotta relax,
sweetheart.
256
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,011
You have to.
You know what?
257
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,429
Let's watch
one of those movies
258
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:41,431
that Ted Danson gave us.
The Green Book.
259
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,016
It's about a guy
from Arthur Avenue.
260
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,935
- I don't, I don't know
anything about it.
- Very good.
261
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,895
It starts at Arthur Avenue.
262
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,397
It ends at Arthur Avenue.
263
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,773
Very good story.
264
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,191
- Come on. Sit next to me.
- Here you go. You can read
265
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,609
- a little more about it.
- Sit next to me.
266
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,861
No, I don't want to read.
267
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,028
I want to see the movie
with you.
268
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:58,115
It's a terrific movie,
sort of a nicer...
269
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,202
Goodfellas kind of thing,
but nicer than that.
270
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:06,707
Oh, that Mr. Danson,
he was really nice
the way he gave us those.
271
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:09,710
- What?
- Mocha Joe:
Hold on a second.
272
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,712
- What?
- I gotta make a call.
273
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:15,008
- Now?
- Be quiet. I gotta call
Larry David. Okay.
274
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,677
How you doing?
It's Mocha Joe.
275
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,012
Richard:
This is crazy.
276
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,805
Freddy:
It's like a sweat lodge
in here.
277
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,974
This is...
Whose idea was this?
278
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,517
Why are we even eating here?
279
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,644
'Cause we're trying to avoid
that waitress upstairs.
280
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,354
She literally said,
"I have diarrhea.
I'm so‐‐"
281
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,898
- Richard:
She actually said it?
- No, no, she said it.
282
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,316
All right, let's stop
talking about her.
283
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,567
This heat's making me nuts.
284
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:35,152
Aren't you hot?
Take that thing off.
285
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,570
I can't take it off,
because I don't,
286
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,905
I don't have
a collared shirt,
287
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,782
and then Takahashi will,
you know, suspend me.
288
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,576
It's so elitist
and such bullshit.
289
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,286
Larry: Hey, get this.
Mocha Joe called me.
290
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,954
Wants to get together.
291
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,122
I think he's crackin'.
292
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,582
- Really?
- He's crackin'!
293
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:49,958
- Larry: Yeah.
- You got him to crack.
294
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,752
He said, let's talk,
you know,
295
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,253
enough is enough.
296
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,671
- Freddy: What's it gonna take?
- Larry: It's just an apology.
297
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,423
- And that's it?
You shut down?
- I shut down.
298
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,425
Jeff: Hey, Richard.
How's the play
rehearsal going?
299
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,844
Are you taking the role
very seriously
300
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,262
where it means the world to you?
301
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:03,972
It's the most important thing
I've done in my‐‐
302
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,390
in 50 years
in show business.
303
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,601
Why don't we‐‐
I gotta get out
of my actor's head.
304
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,770
I live and breathe
this guy 24/7.
305
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,605
Why, why don't we talk
about our golf trip
306
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,190
- that's coming up?
- The golf trip. Yes!
307
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:15,359
‐Yes, yes.
‐Jeff: All right.
Listen. Fellas...
308
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,946
I am terribly, terribly sorry.
309
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,281
Um, I can't go.
310
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,950
You can't go?
You're kidding!
311
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,952
- You kicked off
the whole thing.
- I know I did.
312
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,745
I thought Susie was
gonna leave town.
313
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,038
She has decided to stay home.
314
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,289
Wh‐‐ What happened?
315
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,875
I was too happy
at the airport drop‐off.
316
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,086
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
317
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,463
I was, uh, bouncy.
I was dancing. I‐‐
318
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,132
No, no, no.
You gotta contain
yourself at the drop‐off.
319
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,134
Of course you're happy.
Every husband is thrilled...
320
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,220
- I couldn't contain myself.
- ...to drop their wife off
at the airport.
321
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,639
But you gotta contain it,
and you celebrate in the car
322
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,642
‐on the way home!
‐It's Susie.
I couldn't contain it!
323
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,811
What are you gonna do?
Huh? He fucked up.
324
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,146
I fucked up. I'm so sorry.
Fucked up.
325
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,564
That's a shame,
but I understand.
326
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,608
Maybe we'll go,
the three of us, huh?
Pebble Beach.
327
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,818
Yeah.
328
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,195
Yeah.
329
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,533
Hey, guys.
How's it going?
330
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,284
What are you doing?
I thought you worked upstairs.
331
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,829
I usually do,
but with the AC thing,
332
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,706
- they moved me down here.
- Larry: What?
333
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,624
And here you are.
334
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,459
Beet salad.
335
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,794
Sorry about the heat.
336
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,797
They're fixing it,
but it's a steamy one, right?
337
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,299
Okay. A soup for you.
338
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,385
And the salad is for you.
339
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:26,138
Light on the dressing.
I did not forget.
340
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,056
Soup‐‐
Oh, my goodness.
341
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,183
Hold on.
Did you ask for croutons?
342
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,186
I, I thought I remember
I asked you.
343
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,647
You did or didn't?
344
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,692
But this is the soup
you wanted, right?
345
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,653
(descending whistle)
346
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,197
(plops)
347
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,412
♪ ♪
348
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,581
Waitress:
Okay, do you guys
want some bread?
349
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,207
- Or, I, I feel like...
- All: No.
350
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,959
Waitress:
Let me know if you
need anything, okay?
351
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,378
- It's hot.
- Sorry about the heat
down here, guys.
352
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,380
- Yeah, we're good. Go.
Yeah, we're good.
- You're good?
353
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,716
‐I feel like something's‐‐
‐No, no. Everything's good.
354
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:03,967
- Waitress: All right. I'll go.
- Okay.
355
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,385
- Bye‐bye.
- This is a fun table.
356
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,387
‐Yeah.
‐Oh, thanks. Yeah, thanks.
We're fine.
357
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,889
All right. I'll come back
and check in.
358
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,891
Richard:
Oh, great. Can't wait.
359
00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:14,227
- Uh, that's "Diarrhea."
- I put it together.
360
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:17,606
Top five most revolting
thing I've ever seen
in my entire life.
361
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,900
Ah, Mr. Takahashi!
362
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,903
You. Zip it.
363
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,071
- Yeah.
- All the way.
364
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,239
- (zipping)
- Mr. Takahashi:
You unzip again,
365
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,908
- two weeks, no golf.
- Larry: Okay.
366
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,659
By the way,
how are you hittin' 'em,
Mr. T?
367
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,952
Not your concern.
368
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,329
- Ah.
- Mr. Takahashi:
Gentlemen,
369
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,706
I see you're not
eating your food.
370
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,084
- Freddy: No.
- Is there a problem?
371
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,502
- Ah. Ah.
- No.
372
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,087
- Food's good.
- If not food...
373
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,506
- No.
- ...must be waitress.
374
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,257
All (muttering): No.
375
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:46,259
- Diane.
- All: No, no, no.
376
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,761
And her diarrhea.
377
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,680
All (groaning):
No, no, no, no!
378
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,558
How do you even know
about any diarrhea?
379
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,435
Everyone knows about diarrhea.
380
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,020
It wasn't the diarrhea.
381
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,481
If it's not diarrhea,
what is it?
382
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,733
- I...
- I don't know what
it would be called.
383
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,735
Diane:
Club sandwich
and your soup.
384
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,447
All right, you guys
let me know if you need
anything else, okay?
385
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,662
(Mr. Takahashi sighs)
386
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,997
(speaks Japanese)
387
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,749
Oh, boy.
388
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,584
(yelling):
Diane!
389
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,002
No one wants this.
390
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,465
(all muttering)
391
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,805
Larry:
Hey.
392
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,181
Hi.
393
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,641
I saw Takahashi yelling at you.
394
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,269
Don't take that personally.
He yells at everybody.
395
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,937
Well, he fired me, so...
396
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,063
Oh, my God.
397
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,023
- He fired you?
- Well, yeah.
398
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,025
So what do you do?
You just, waiting‐‐
399
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,360
You're taking a bus?
400
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,570
Yeah.
401
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,071
- You don't have a car?
- No.
402
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,322
Cars are expensive.
403
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,824
- Where are you going?
- Going home.
404
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,702
All right, come on.
I'll take you.
405
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,330
- Well, I appreciate
you driving me home.
- Ah, of course.
406
00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:00,250
Sorry about the whole
incident. I mean...
407
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,711
‐Firing. I can't be fired.
‐I, yeah, I, I didn't...
I didn't...
408
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,504
certainly mean
to get you fired.
409
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,174
- You could have
just eaten the soup.
- Really?
410
00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,759
With your sweat in the soup?
I won't even eat my own sweat.
411
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,679
Huh? One drop of sweat
is like plutonium.
412
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,015
You would eat my sweat
if I dripped sweat
in your soup?
413
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,601
I don't know,
but to be polite,
it's like, I don't know.
414
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:19,519
You'd eat your sweat
to be polite?
415
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,687
If I had a girlfriend‐‐
416
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,564
My wife, my ex‐wife,
if she came
417
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,191
and served me some soup
and sweated in the soup,
418
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,650
I'm not, I'm not gonna
eat the soup.
419
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,527
Maybe that's
why you don't have
a girlfriend or a wife.
420
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,696
Oh, really? You think
the majority of people
who are in relationships
421
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:30,697
wanna eat sweat soup?
422
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,490
If your girlfriend
accidentally
423
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,825
sweat in your soup,
424
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,452
it would be insulting
to not eat it.
425
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,828
That would be
a deal breaker for me.
426
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,205
You can't sweat in food.
It's just...
427
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,706
(chuckles)
It's like...
428
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,291
It's on the list of rules
for a waitress.
429
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,667
- Yeah. Okay.
- "Don't sweat in food."
430
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,085
Maybe it's a blessing
in disguise.
431
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,046
I'm not sure you're really
cut out for waitressing.
432
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:49,716
Between the sweat
and then that whole
diarrhea incident‐‐
433
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:50,967
Okay, I'm just trying
to be a waitress,
434
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,302
and I wait on you again‐‐
435
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,887
- (honks)
- Come on, asshole!
436
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,555
I wait on you guys
all the time.
437
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,973
I just figured
you would get it.
438
00:16:56,974 --> 00:16:59,392
No, no one, no one gets it.
No one's gonna get that.
439
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:02,103
No one's down
with diarrhea, Diane!
440
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,147
Okay. Well, now I know.
And now I‐‐
441
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,650
It cost me my job,
so now I'm... I've learned.
442
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,568
So what are
you gonna do now?
443
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:12,072
- I don't know.
I used to do retail, so...
- Yeah.
444
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:13,698
I guess
maybe I won't do that.
445
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,243
Hey, you...
You know what?
446
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,453
I just opened up
a coffee shop.
447
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:21,373
I could actually
use somebody in,
in the store.
448
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,042
- If you're...
If you're interested.
- Really?
449
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,461
I would, of‐‐ Yeah.
I would, I would be interested.
450
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,921
- Of course.
- You would?
451
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,589
- You have AC?
- Yeah.
452
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,091
- Great.
- Fantastic.
453
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,467
It's just amazing to me
454
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,261
- how things work out
sometimes, you know?
- Yeah.
455
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,638
Hey, let me ask you
this question.
456
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,431
Do you like licorice?
457
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,100
Sometimes I like a black,
458
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:42,227
and then I'll go weeks
with only wanting red.
459
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,521
- Yeah.
- And then I switch
back to black.
460
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,773
- Mr. David. What a surprise.
- Larry: Oh!
461
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,276
- Hello!
- What's the problem today?
462
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,279
- Well, uh...
- Let me guess.
463
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,281
Another mysterious odor?
464
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,616
Possibly a sound
like a snake?
465
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:57,659
- No.
- No?
466
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,953
- No. Actually...
- Yes?
467
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,997
Looking for a new car.
468
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,790
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
469
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,459
And my friend Diane
is gonna help me
pick one out.
470
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,836
She knows all about cars.
471
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,212
She gets Motor Trend magazine.
472
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,964
- She reads all that stuff.
- Diane: I do.
473
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,674
I know all the brands.
474
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,801
And I'm so dissatisfied
with my car
475
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:18,054
- because of everything
that you just alluded to.
- Uh‐huh.
476
00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:19,472
- So you want a new car?
- Yeah.
477
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,724
Well, why don't you
head on over there
478
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:21,808
where the cars are.
479
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:24,060
You know what?
I know where the cars are.
480
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,186
Well, shall we go over there?
481
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:26,980
Yeah, yeah.
We're gonna go over there.
482
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,064
Great. Let's go.
483
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,858
Oh, you gotta get
a piece of this.
484
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,818
Oh, this is tremendous.
You gotta get a piece of this.
485
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,278
- Okay. Wow.
- Yeah. Yeah.
486
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,071
- What is this even?
- It's licorice.
487
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,489
- Oh. Cool.
- Yeah.
488
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:40,161
Why don't we shop
for a new car now?
489
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:44,873
You know what?
That's exactly
what I'm gonna do.
490
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,334
‐This looks‐‐ yeah, yeah.
‐Right? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Wonderful.
491
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,377
‐That looks good.
‐That's wonderful.
That's wonderful.
492
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,421
- That's a good one.
- Look at that.
493
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,424
- Huh? How about that one?
- Diane: Yeah. Beautiful rims.
494
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:56,343
- Larry: Yeah.
- This is so good.
495
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,594
Yeah. Told you.
496
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:58,762
Larry:
I think it's from Germany.
497
00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,055
Diane:
I want to get a red one.
498
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,556
- Larry: Well, let's go. Yeah.
- Diane: Yeah.
499
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,183
Look, you don't fool me,
Mr. David.
500
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:07,187
- You're not here to buy a car.
- Well, you are mistaken, okay?
501
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:08,813
I am here to buy
a new car.
502
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,107
- Am I not buying a car?
- Yeah, what is‐‐ What?
503
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,234
I don't believe you
for a second.
504
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,819
- Oh, you don't?
- That is correct.
505
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,030
‐I'm buying a car!
‐Oh, really?
You're buying a car?
506
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,365
- Uh, yes, I am.
- Which one?
507
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,699
- Which one?
- Salesman: Yeah, which one?
508
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:20,659
- Which one?
- That one!
509
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:21,576
Yeah. That one!
510
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,577
You're buying that one.
511
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,703
Yeah, I'm buying that one.
512
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,996
- The I‐8.
- Yeah.
513
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,665
- Yeah.
- That's a top‐of‐the‐line car.
514
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:27,874
That's why I'm buying it.
515
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:28,708
You can drive that
off the lot right now.
516
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,709
Okay. I will.
517
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:30,543
Get the paperwork.
518
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,544
I want it fully loaded.
519
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,837
- Great choice.
- Good.
520
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,464
- I'm not gettin'
a new car, huh?
- Larry,
521
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,633
he bought it!
He totally thinks
you're buying a new car!
522
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,510
I am buying a new car!
523
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,554
‐Really?
‐Who does he think he is?
He can't talk to me like that!
524
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,640
- Salesman: Congratulations.
- Thank you.
525
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,141
- You are quite welcome.
- Yeah, okay.
526
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,353
So you thought I was just
walking around the showroom,
527
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,230
you know, eating licorice.
528
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,731
‐Right? Huh?
‐You stepped up to the plate.
Now you got
529
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,316
- a beautiful piece
of machinery right here.
- Yeah.
530
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,444
- I got something else
for you. Hold on.
- Yeah.
531
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,030
Oh, my God.
532
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,740
- Look at this!
Licorice!
- Wow.
533
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,200
- That's a nice touch.
- Wow.
534
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,077
All right, you enjoy that.
Don't tell anybody else.
535
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,870
- We don't like to give it out
to just anybody.
- Don't worry.
536
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,622
- Congratulations. Yeah.
- All right. Thank you.
537
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,249
- Drive safe.
- Okay.
538
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:12,252
- Hey, look at this, huh?
- Wow.
539
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,754
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
540
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,424
Look what I got. Huh?
541
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,843
Is this even me? This car?
I mean, look at it.
542
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,469
A lot of the douchebags
at the club have it.
543
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,347
No offense. But this is
a popular car at the club.
544
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,433
Oh. Now I got the other car.
I got two cars.
545
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:29,018
That's your biggest problem.
You got two cars. I mean‐‐
546
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:31,020
I don't even have one car.
I don't even know
547
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,940
what bus I'm gonna take
to my new job.
548
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,608
Okay.
549
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,944
What?
550
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,738
No.
551
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,114
(keys clink)
552
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:42,741
Yeah. Go ahead.
553
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,117
- Take the car.
- Are you kidding?
554
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,285
Take it! Take the car.
555
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:46,369
Larry, this is n‐‐
556
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,954
- Huh? Yeah.
- I'm just gonna take it?
557
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,873
This is worth
getting fired over.
Are you kidding me?
558
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,958
This is an incredible day.
Thank you.
559
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,960
I will see you at work.
560
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,962
- I gave you a car!
- You just gave me a car!
561
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,298
I gave you a car!
What's wrong with me?
562
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:01,176
I don't think anything.
Uh, how do I get to
the freeway from here?
563
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,052
Take a right,
then another right,
564
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:05,138
then go through the light,
and second left.
565
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,600
♪ ♪
566
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,206
♪ ♪
567
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,468
Go.
568
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,845
What are you doing?
Come on.
569
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,139
(mutters)
570
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,517
(horn blares)
571
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,143
(engine revs)
572
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:54,729
(yelling)
573
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,981
- Aah!
- Larry: What the fuck?
574
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,651
Larry?
575
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,404
Are you kidding?
576
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:05,031
- You came out of nowhere.
- I came out of‐‐
577
00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,699
- You were on your cell phone!
- Larry,
578
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,368
you just went right through.
579
00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:10,078
I know exactly
what happened.
I saw it.
580
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:11,371
I looked at you,
you were texting.
581
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,331
Somebody beeped you,
you had beep panic,
582
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,624
you threw the phone away.
583
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,251
Look, there's your phone
right in the front seat.
584
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:18,586
You threw it down.
And you were playing
Candy Crush!
585
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:21,047
I've done it myself.
I just had beep panic
the other day.
586
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,966
(clears throat)
Fine. They scared me,
behind me.
587
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,425
- And I went. And I went!
- Of course. I know.
588
00:22:24,426 --> 00:22:26,052
- Okay. So okay.
- I know how it works,
so okay.
589
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,137
So we've both done it.
I see it. I get it.
590
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,806
All right.
I guess that, um,
591
00:22:29,807 --> 00:22:31,808
I mean, we should
exchange information.
592
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,059
- What are you talking about?
- Well...
593
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,227
It's all my information.
594
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,728
Anyway, look at this.
595
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,021
Nothing's wrong
with this car.
596
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,898
There's a little dent
in the bumper, but...
597
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:39,983
This is bad.
598
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,401
- (sighs)
- Oh, my God.
599
00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:43,069
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna call the, uh,
600
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:44,404
tow company.
601
00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:47,031
I'll get the new one towed,
and, and then I'll...
602
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,658
I'll, you know,
I'll take you home.
603
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,285
Your cars is the one
that's being towed.
604
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:53,162
- How are you gonna
drive me home?
- I'll drive you home in my car.
605
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:54,539
This is my car.
606
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,916
(scoffs)
Come on.
What do you‐‐
607
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,085
- This is my‐‐
You just gave me this car.
- What do you mean it's your car?
608
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:01,671
Yes, I gave it to you
with very good intentions,
609
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:03,256
until you wrecked my car!
610
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:05,133
- You gave me the car,
so it's my car.
- Are you serious?
611
00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,426
- Are you serious?
- What?
612
00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:08,094
You just give away cars
and take 'em back?
613
00:23:08,095 --> 00:23:10,763
Oprah doesn't just
give out cars and then
take them back.
614
00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,141
Does that seem fair to you
that I gave you a car,
615
00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:15,101
you hit my new car,
and now I don't have a car?
616
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:17,770
‐That seems fair?
‐I, I don't know.
What is fair?
617
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:20,106
- No.
- What's fair is for things
to go back to the way,
618
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,108
the way they were
15 minutes ago...
619
00:23:22,109 --> 00:23:25,653
- Well, I didn't have a car
15 minutes ago and now I do.
- ...when I had a car.
620
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,280
Well, I would love
to give you a ride home.
621
00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:28,698
I would love to give you
a ride home.
622
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,826
Well, how are you gonna
do that without a car, Larry?
623
00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:34,454
(sighs)
Please take me home.
624
00:23:34,455 --> 00:23:35,789
- Okay.
- Thank you.
625
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:40,376
- It's unbelievable.
Now I gotta get a new car.
- Uh‐huh.
626
00:23:40,377 --> 00:23:42,253
I'm gonna get rid of
that new one,
627
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,297
and I'm gonna buy
the same car I had before.
628
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,632
Why don't you just
drive your old car?
629
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:46,841
I gave it away.
630
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,843
When you tell
a motherfucker
that story,
631
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,929
you should say,
"Lo and behold."
632
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,680
When a motherfucker says,
"Lo and behold,"
633
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:55,808
- it makes me fuckin' react.
- Oh, that is such
a good observation.
634
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:58,019
- "Lo and behold..."
- Yeah. Lo and behold,
635
00:23:58,020 --> 00:24:00,104
I gotta buy my,
my old car new.
636
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,482
Now the story don't sound
so far‐fetched and shit.
637
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:04,609
Hey, how many pieces
of licorice have you had?
638
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,027
Maybe about eight.
639
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:07,987
I haven't seen you take
one piece of red licorice yet.
640
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:09,906
- Only black for you?
- Fuck, yeah.
641
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:11,366
Everything's black,
isn't it? Right?
642
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:14,369
Something wrong with a person
supporting black and shit?
643
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:16,871
Black licorice,
black jelly beans,
644
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,456
fuckin' blackouts,
645
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,833
burnt toast.
I don't give a fuck,
I eat burnt toast.
646
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:22,210
Oh, so you must love
pumpernickel.
647
00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:24,504
Oh, fuck yeah.
I take that piece
of burnt‐ass toast,
648
00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:26,673
put it between two pieces
of fuckin' pumpernickel,
649
00:24:26,674 --> 00:24:28,967
have a burnt‐toast
pumpernickel sandwich.
650
00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:31,135
- You feel me?
- Oh, I feel you.
651
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,512
Hey, when are you going
on that golf trip?
652
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:33,680
You know, I've been
thinking about it.
653
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:35,515
Jeff's not going.
I'm not gonna go.
654
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:36,683
- Oh.
- It's ridiculous.
655
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:37,934
That big motherfucker's
the glue.
656
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:38,977
Yeah, he's the glue.
657
00:24:38,978 --> 00:24:41,062
Mm. Jesus.
658
00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:44,692
Boy, my stomach's
really bothering me.
659
00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,945
- (doorbell rings)
- Oh. Hey. That's Mocha Joe.
660
00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:52,323
He wants to talk to me.
So, um, do me a favor.
661
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:54,450
- Keep an eye on him.
I don't trust this guy.
- Yeah.
662
00:24:54,451 --> 00:24:55,576
- All right?
- You're right.
663
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:56,828
I don't trust him, either.
664
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,788
Larry:
So, Mocha Joe,
665
00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,708
what can we do for you?
666
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:03,084
Does he have to be here?
667
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,169
- I was hoping
we could talk alone.
- Larry: Yeah, well,
668
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,629
he's a business associate.
669
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:10,133
We actually refer to him
as the bean‐meister.
670
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,593
- He's always staring at me.
- Larry: I wouldn't
worry about it.
671
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:14,470
‐He stays.
‐All right, look.
You know,
672
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,055
I've been thinking about this,
what's going on between us,
673
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,640
- and I just wanna...
- (stomach rumbling)
674
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,393
- (Leon chuckles)
- ...say that, uh,
I think we need to...
675
00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:21,644
(stomach gurgling)
676
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:22,895
Mocha Joe:
It's time that we, uh...
677
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,732
- (gurgling)
- Aah!
678
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:27,567
- Mocha Joe:
Something wrong?
- (yells)
679
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:29,528
- (groans)
- (loud gurgling)
680
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:33,031
Mocha Joe:
You okay? You don't look good.
681
00:25:33,032 --> 00:25:35,576
Aah, just excuse me
just for a second.
682
00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,411
- (stomach gurgling)
- Larry: Aah!
683
00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:39,704
(yells):
Oh!
684
00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:42,750
(Larry groaning loudly)
685
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:46,545
(pained groaning continues)
686
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,839
(Larry yells)
687
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,591
You think maybe
you should check on him?
688
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:52,968
(whispers):
He's good.
689
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:56,345
(stomach gurgling)
690
00:25:56,346 --> 00:25:57,847
(groans)
691
00:25:57,848 --> 00:25:59,140
You okay?
692
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:02,602
- I'm fine.
- (stomach gurgling)
693
00:26:02,603 --> 00:26:04,563
(Leon groans)
694
00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:08,608
You don't look too good.
695
00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:11,110
- (panting)
- (stomach gurgling loudly)
696
00:26:11,111 --> 00:26:13,112
(grunting)
697
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:15,281
- If you will excuse me...
- Mocha Joe: Sure thing.
698
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,326
- (stomach gurgling)
- (Leon moans)
699
00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:20,536
- (door closes)
- (Leon groaning)
700
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:22,747
(pained moaning)
701
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:27,961
(Larry and Leon moaning
and groaning)
702
00:26:29,546 --> 00:26:32,508
(yelling and moaning
continues)
703
00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:55,989
(toilet flushes)
704
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:08,335
(toilet flushes)
705
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,505
Ooh.
706
00:27:12,506 --> 00:27:14,090
Where is he?
707
00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:15,508
I don't know.
708
00:27:15,509 --> 00:27:16,717
Mocha Joe!
709
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:18,678
You were supposed to watch him!
710
00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:20,388
My belly started
to fuckin' bubble.
711
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:22,057
I couldn't control myself!
712
00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:27,312
- (stomachs gurgling)
- (both yelling)
713
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:32,692
(yelling and moaning continues)
714
00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:34,110
(door closes)
715
00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:35,820
I come out of the bathroom...
716
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,947
- (claps)
- ...he's not there.
717
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,365
Not there.
718
00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:40,867
He's just negotiating.
719
00:27:40,868 --> 00:27:43,202
That's negotiating?
On what planet
is that negotiating?
720
00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:45,872
I do it with my mattress guys.
I have 'em out there
pounding cotton.
721
00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:48,207
And, uh, family throws out
a quote they don't like,
722
00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:49,542
I tell 'em to just
get out of there,
walk away.
723
00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:51,043
Mocha Joe's not negotiating.
724
00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:52,712
That sucker's got
something up his sleeve.
725
00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:55,381
Now, let's talk about
something that we're
all excited about‐‐
726
00:27:55,382 --> 00:27:57,550
a little magical place
called Pebble Beach.
727
00:27:57,551 --> 00:27:59,886
By the way, I, I'm not
gonna go on the golf trip.
728
00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:01,596
- Why not?
- I don't wanna go
with three guys.
729
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,389
All right, you don't
wanna do three,
we'll find a fourth.
730
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,558
Okay, you know what?
It, it's not even that.
731
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:07,018
I, I don't wanna do it
without Jeff.
732
00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,728
Jeff was the glue, anyway.
Let's face it.
733
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:10,563
- His absence will be felt.
- That's true.
734
00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:12,356
I wasn't that thrilled
about going, either,
735
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:14,483
- without Jeff.
Maybe it's best for me.
- See?
736
00:28:14,484 --> 00:28:17,486
I do have the play coming up
and I gotta study my lines.
737
00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:19,989
Can we prevail upon you
to give us a...
738
00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:21,324
a little snippet?
739
00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:22,408
- The role?
- Larry: Yeah.
740
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:23,576
I'd love to see the process.
741
00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:24,744
Freddy wants to see it.
742
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:26,412
Aah, that's a little unfair.
I mean, look,
743
00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:28,247
‐the people are around here‐‐
‐Larry: Yeah, so what?
744
00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:29,707
- Come on, Charlie.
- Richard: Nah, no.
745
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,209
Yoo‐hoo, Charlie!
Charlie, are you in there?
746
00:28:32,210 --> 00:28:36,048
Charlie! Char‐‐ Charlie!
747
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:41,093
I'm gonna get that operation.
You know why?
748
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:45,431
'Cause I'm smart.
I'm smarter than that mouse,
that stupid mouse.
749
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:47,975
- (laughs)
- (laughs)
750
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:50,603
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Why are you laughing?
751
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:52,438
Jeez, a compliment.
You have a natural touch.
752
00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,607
- It was the initial response.
But it's very good.
- Freddy: Yeah.
753
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:58,069
‐It was hilarious.
‐It's not hilarious.
I'm a‐‐ It's dramatic.
754
00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,321
It was very moving, then.
755
00:29:03,700 --> 00:29:05,701
- (Susie chuckles)
- Wow.
756
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:06,994
- What do you know?
- Look who's here.
757
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,412
- Coming for a little lunch?
- Susie: Yeah.
758
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:09,497
What the hell is this?
759
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,665
Oh, this is my loaner car.
760
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:12,208
- Yeah, but it's white.
- Larry: So what?
761
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:14,335
The color of a car
doesn't really matter to me,
762
00:29:14,336 --> 00:29:17,380
because I don't really see it
when I'm inside the car.
763
00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:18,798
It's like being inside
your face.
764
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:20,132
I don't know what
my face looks like.
765
00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:21,217
Who forgets their face?
766
00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:22,802
I'm in a capsule.
I don't know.
767
00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:24,929
Everything's coming from
inside the capsule.
768
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:26,764
So the outside of the car
is a mystery to me.
769
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,100
I don't believe you
for a fucking second.
770
00:29:29,101 --> 00:29:30,935
And I think you're obsessed
with the white car,
771
00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:32,979
- and you're embarrassed by it.
- Larry: Hey, by the way,
772
00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:34,981
our little golf trip
to Pebble Beach...
773
00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:37,233
- Yeah?
- ...has been canceled.
774
00:29:37,234 --> 00:29:38,651
Boo‐fucking‐hoo.
775
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,820
Yeah, anyway, you know,
I have something for you here
776
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:42,655
- you might enjoy. Yeah.
- Really?
777
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,948
- Here you go.
- What is this?
778
00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:45,616
It's only the best licorice
in the world.
779
00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:48,577
It comes from Bavaria.
You'll never taste
anything like it.
780
00:29:48,578 --> 00:29:50,955
Turn the TV on,
put that in front of you,
781
00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:52,832
and, and you will
enjoy yourself.
782
00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:55,543
- All right, well, thank you,
Lar. I appreciate it.
- All right. Okay. Sure.
783
00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:58,379
Have a nice day
in your white car.
784
00:29:58,380 --> 00:29:59,672
By the way,
I don't see the hood.
785
00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:01,632
- By the way,
I don't believe you.
- Yeah.
786
00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:02,883
- Bye, Lar.
- Bye.
787
00:30:02,884 --> 00:30:04,051
- Thank you.
- Sure.
788
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:05,177
What the fuck am I
gonna do with this?
789
00:30:05,178 --> 00:30:06,721
I hate licorice.
It's disgusting.
790
00:30:06,722 --> 00:30:08,848
Larry:
Cappuccino for Katie!
Cappuccino for Katie!
791
00:30:08,849 --> 00:30:10,433
Cappuccino for Katie.
792
00:30:10,434 --> 00:30:14,478
Okay, coffee and a croissant.
793
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,063
Larry, we need to charge
the self‐heating cups.
794
00:30:16,064 --> 00:30:17,606
Where's Diane?
She's supposed to be here.
795
00:30:17,607 --> 00:30:18,899
I have no idea where she is!
796
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,944
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with her?
797
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:23,362
(phone chimes)
798
00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:25,698
- Oh, hey, Larry.
- Larry (over phone):
Where are you?
799
00:30:25,699 --> 00:30:28,993
Oh! Oh, my goodness.
I totally forgot.
800
00:30:28,994 --> 00:30:31,370
I'm so sorry.
I was gonna call you.
801
00:30:31,371 --> 00:30:34,290
I'm actually not gonna
come in anymore.
802
00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:36,959
- What? What are you
talking about?
- I just wanna travel
803
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,128
while I have the chance
before I get another job.
804
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:40,421
- You have a job!
- I'm thinking of
805
00:30:40,422 --> 00:30:42,423
going to Europe
or maybe Thailand.
806
00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,341
Europe? You can't go to Europe!
You don't have any money.
807
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,218
Well, actually,
I sold my car.
808
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:48,304
Oh, my God.
You sold my car?
809
00:30:48,305 --> 00:30:50,347
- Are you kidding?
- Well, it was actually my car,
810
00:30:50,348 --> 00:30:53,726
and I sold it on eBay,
which I didn't know you
could even do.
811
00:30:53,727 --> 00:30:55,770
- What the fuck?
- It was pretty low mileage.
812
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:58,898
- So I got a lot for it.
- I gave it to you so you'd
have something to drive.
813
00:30:58,899 --> 00:31:00,066
'Cause I was a nice guy.
814
00:31:00,067 --> 00:31:01,567
Well, I don't need
to drive anymore,
815
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:02,777
'cause I'm going on this trip.
816
00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:04,195
Aah!
817
00:31:04,196 --> 00:31:05,571
- Hey, uh, we're out of napkins.
- (scoffs)
818
00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:06,865
Barista:
They're in the back.
819
00:31:07,407 --> 00:31:08,784
Next?
820
00:31:10,077 --> 00:31:11,912
Hello? Next!
821
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:13,412
Sir?
822
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:14,663
- Hey!
- Oh.
823
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:16,082
(chair whirring)
824
00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:17,416
- (yells)
- Man: I'm sorry.
825
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:19,126
- Larry: Oh, fuck!
- Man: I'm sorry. I am sorry.
826
00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:21,420
- Aah! Aah.
- I'm so, so sorry.
827
00:31:21,421 --> 00:31:22,922
Larry:
Weren't you looking
where you're going?
828
00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:25,216
Man:
You just came out of nowhere.
You all right?
829
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:28,427
- No. No, I'm not.
- I apologize.
830
00:31:28,428 --> 00:31:30,513
Oh, okay.
Is that your phone?
831
00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:32,723
I see what happened.
You were on your cell phone,
832
00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:35,267
and somebody yelled, "Next,"
and you panicked, right?
833
00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:37,520
Yes. I had "next panic," okay?
834
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:40,356
Ow. Jeez. Aah.
835
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:43,234
(scoffs)
I may never walk
normal again.
836
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:44,778
You know, nothing personal.
837
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:51,451
Are you Larry David?
838
00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:53,577
What? Yeah?
839
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:56,122
Mr. David,
does look familiar?
840
00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:58,457
What? It's a screener.
841
00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:00,459
These screeners are
digitally marked with your name,
842
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:02,795
and there are copies of these
appearing all over town.
843
00:32:02,796 --> 00:32:04,588
Impossible!
Impossible.
844
00:32:04,589 --> 00:32:06,382
I, I didn't give them
to, to anyone!
845
00:32:06,383 --> 00:32:07,800
- We got some questions
for you, sir.
- What?
846
00:32:07,801 --> 00:32:09,218
Questions? What kind of‐‐
847
00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:10,302
This is ridiculous!
848
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:11,971
Hey, my goodness.
What are you doing?
849
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:15,433
You know, you're treating me
like a war criminal,
for God's sake.
850
00:32:17,310 --> 00:32:18,352
That's him.
851
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:20,146
He did it.
He took my screeners.
852
00:32:20,147 --> 00:32:21,480
- Took 'em from my house.
- This guy.
853
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:22,648
Yeah, this guy.
854
00:32:22,649 --> 00:32:24,024
I had too much licorice
from Bavaria,
855
00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:25,317
and it gave me diarrhea,
856
00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:26,610
and when I was in the bathroom,
857
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:27,528
he took the screeners!
858
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:29,738
Licorice? Bavaria?
859
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,532
I really hope you get
the help you need.
860
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:34,201
- That's the guy who‐‐
He was in my house!
- In the car.
861
00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,995
Thanks, guys.
I really appreciate
what you do.
862
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,163
Bye, Larry.
863
00:32:37,164 --> 00:32:39,248
Stop sending people over
to shit in my store!
864
00:32:39,249 --> 00:32:41,333
(siren blares)
865
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:43,544
Richard:
That's insanity.
For a screener?
866
00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:45,087
They can't fine you that much.
867
00:32:45,088 --> 00:32:46,338
Larry:
Well, they did.
868
00:32:46,339 --> 00:32:47,965
The FBI, they can do
whatever they want.
869
00:32:47,966 --> 00:32:49,925
What are you gonna do?
I'm, I'm lucky I'm not in jail.
870
00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:51,343
‐(knocking)
‐Ten minutes.
Ten minutes.
871
00:32:51,344 --> 00:32:53,012
All right, thanks.
872
00:32:53,013 --> 00:32:55,014
- Have a good show, Richard,
See you out there.
- You, too, buddy.
873
00:32:55,015 --> 00:32:57,016
Break a leg.
How does my makeup look?
874
00:32:57,017 --> 00:32:59,351
What's, uh,
what's happening
with the hair?
875
00:32:59,352 --> 00:33:00,686
It's Charlie's hair.
876
00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:02,521
Charlie looks like
he spends a lot of time
877
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:04,023
at off‐track betting.
878
00:33:04,024 --> 00:33:06,901
Well, that's reassuring
five minutes before I go on.
879
00:33:06,902 --> 00:33:08,777
How dare you.
You're like a rabbi
880
00:33:08,778 --> 00:33:10,696
heckling me at my bar mitzvah.
881
00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:12,156
What is this?
882
00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:13,699
- This? That tin?
- Larry: Yeah.
883
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,201
It's licorice.
Susie gave it to me.
884
00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:18,245
- Oh. Did she?
- Richard: It's delicious.
885
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:20,748
- You ate this whole thing?
- Yeah, in about five hours.
886
00:33:20,749 --> 00:33:22,583
I'd give you one,
but I'm a little anxious,
887
00:33:22,584 --> 00:33:23,709
so I ate all of 'em today.
888
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,377
I think I'm
a licorice addict now.
889
00:33:25,378 --> 00:33:26,629
Oh, my gosh.
890
00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:27,839
Why? What's wrong?
891
00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:30,174
Nah. Nothing.
892
00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,258
(pops lips)
893
00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:33,260
- Richard:
Well, thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
894
00:33:33,261 --> 00:33:35,095
Okay. Yeah. Break a leg.
895
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:38,140
Hey, don't be depressed.
If you want some, you know,
it's German licorice.
896
00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:41,352
- It's the best. All right.
- Yeah, I know where it's from.
897
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:43,896
It's showtime, Charlie.
898
00:33:43,897 --> 00:33:45,064
(stopwatch ticks, stops)
899
00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:46,482
Algernon beat you.
900
00:33:46,483 --> 00:33:47,900
You lost, Charlie.
901
00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:50,736
Does that mean that
I won't get the operation?
902
00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:52,238
'Cause I lost?
903
00:33:52,239 --> 00:33:54,198
I can do better than that.
904
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:57,284
I want that operation.
I, I wanna be s‐s‐s...
905
00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:58,661
smart.
906
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:01,247
We'll have to see what
Professor Nemur says,
Charlie.
907
00:34:01,248 --> 00:34:03,874
I'm not afraid of the operation.
908
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:07,127
- (stomach gurgling)
- (groans): Aah. Whoa.
909
00:34:07,128 --> 00:34:08,462
Oh!
910
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:10,923
- I, I ain't afraid of nothing.
- (stomach gurgling)
911
00:34:10,924 --> 00:34:13,385
Because I'm strong.
912
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,554
- (stomach gurgling)
- Charlie?
913
00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,056
- (gurgling continues)
- Oh.
914
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:21,058
Did you want to say something
about being right?
915
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,394
- Charlie...
- (groans)
916
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:24,812
- Whoa.
- Richard...
917
00:34:24,813 --> 00:34:26,105
Aah!
918
00:34:26,106 --> 00:34:29,276
(yelling and groaning)
919
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:34,489
(theme music playing)
920
00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:45,100
So, you're operating this place
just out of spite?
921
00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:46,185
Yeah.
922
00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:47,436
It's a spite store.
923
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:48,438
♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
924
00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:50,689
Everybody in the Big Johnson
community knows
you can't wear underwear.
925
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,732
LARRY DAVID:
There's a Big Johnson community?
926
00:35:51,733 --> 00:35:53,692
I'd like to...
see if I can join.
927
00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:56,028
How are you getting in
the Big Johnson community
928
00:35:56,029 --> 00:35:57,696
- without a big johnson?
- You can't.
929
00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:59,198
- SUSIE GREENE: Hey!
- Hi!
930
00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:01,700
How do you induce labor?
Can you scare someone
into labor?
931
00:36:01,701 --> 00:36:03,661
Yeah, you go into the bushes,
she's walking down the street,
932
00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:05,079
and all of a sudden,
you jump out. (YELLS) Ha!
933
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,289
- Are... you in the bushes?
- Yeah.
934
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:10,626
‐You need surgery.
‐What if I got a...
second opinion?
935
00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:12,086
- Why?
- My late mother.
936
00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,546
"Larry, what are you doing?
Get a second opinion!
937
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:15,839
Are ya stupid?"
938
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,841
Even though she's dead,
I need to shut her up.
939
00:36:17,842 --> 00:36:20,178
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES, FADES) ♪
72071
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