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1
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,996
There it is, Finisham Hospital
2
00:02:03,031 --> 00:02:06,282
- our next job.
- What? A maternity hospital?
3
00:02:06,317 --> 00:02:08,960
That's it. Headquarters
of the famous Pudding Club.
4
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,917
- What have they got to nick?
- Pills.
5
00:02:10,952 --> 00:02:11,954
Pills?
6
00:02:11,989 --> 00:02:14,081
Not just ordinary pills, the pill.
7
00:02:14,116 --> 00:02:16,316
They've got hundreds of thousands in there.
8
00:02:16,351 --> 00:02:17,764
What? In a maternity hospital?
9
00:02:17,799 --> 00:02:20,313
It's closing the stable door
after the horse has gone.
10
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:24,672
No, no, no. They're just stored there
for use in the family planning clinics.
11
00:02:24,707 --> 00:02:27,479
Dad, if they hand them out free,
what can you make out of them?
12
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,083
Nothing here, son.
13
00:02:29,118 --> 00:02:33,830
But I know a couple of countries that'll take
as many as they can get and pay a fortune.
14
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,523
Dr Cross.
15
00:02:39,558 --> 00:02:41,561
Dr Cross to Casualty, please.
16
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,616
Well, Miss Willing, so you're leaving us.
17
00:02:43,651 --> 00:02:45,601
Yeah. Not exactly empty-handed, neither.
18
00:02:45,636 --> 00:02:50,430
Oh, now, now, you mustn't be bitter about it.
You have a beautiful baby there.
19
00:02:50,465 --> 00:02:52,043
I wish I had one like it.
20
00:02:52,078 --> 00:02:55,470
Yes, well, if you run into the same bloke as I did,
you can have one.
21
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,992
- Who's this, then?
- That's Sir Bernard Cutting, the head chopper.
22
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,898
Ah, another little angel leaving the fold.
23
00:03:09,933 --> 00:03:12,802
Let me have a last look at the little chap.
24
00:03:12,837 --> 00:03:15,354
You can have him for keeps
as far as I'm concerned.
25
00:03:15,389 --> 00:03:17,635
Careful, my dear. I might take you up on that.
26
00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:20,513
He's a splendid little fellow, isn't he?
27
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,123
Yes, he is.
28
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,390
Oh. I think you can have him back now.
29
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,164
Again? That's the fifth this morning.
30
00:03:28,199 --> 00:03:30,919
- He must have a leak.
- I think he's just had one.
31
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,431
- Good morning, Sir Bernard.
- Morning, Arthur. Good morning, Matron.
32
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,612
- How are you?
- I'm all right. Why shouldn't I be all right?
33
00:03:39,647 --> 00:03:42,758
- I look all right, don't I?
- Oh, you've never looked better.
34
00:03:42,793 --> 00:03:45,558
Then why did you ask me how I was?
35
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:49,673
No particular reason.
Just with all this Asian flu about.
36
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:51,283
What Asian flu?
37
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,754
Oh, it's only what I read in the papers.
38
00:03:53,789 --> 00:03:57,395
You can't believe a thing you read in the papers.
39
00:03:57,430 --> 00:03:59,754
Asian flu indeed!
40
00:03:59,789 --> 00:04:01,244
What a lot of rubbish.
41
00:04:01,279 --> 00:04:02,952
Would you like to do the rounds now?
42
00:04:02,987 --> 00:04:04,563
What?
43
00:04:04,598 --> 00:04:08,229
No. I can't be bothered with all that today.
I don't feel well enough.
44
00:04:08,264 --> 00:04:10,595
I think I've got Asian flu.
45
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:16,674
Poor Sir Bernard. He's only got to read of
some complaint and he's convinced he's got it.
46
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:18,637
I wonder if he's read Gone With The Wind.
47
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,077
H... I...
48
00:04:25,112 --> 00:04:27,395
Influenza. Asian.
49
00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:32,116
Asian flu. Highly infectious virus disease,
often resulting in death.
50
00:04:32,151 --> 00:04:32,836
Death!
51
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,479
Symptoms:
52
00:04:36,514 --> 00:04:43,278
fever, dizziness, rapid pulse,
yellowing of the eyeballs.
53
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,041
- Matron, any news yet, then?
- Oh, Mr Tidey, are you still here?
54
00:04:56,076 --> 00:04:59,709
Of course I'm still here.
I've been here since 10:42 last night, haven't I?
55
00:04:59,744 --> 00:05:02,438
I should know.
I'd just seen the 10:17 off to Reading.
56
00:05:02,473 --> 00:05:06,599
- Did you indeed?
- Stopping all stations except Eton and Twyford.
57
00:05:06,634 --> 00:05:08,511
Quite. And haven't you had your baby yet?
58
00:05:08,546 --> 00:05:10,317
Well, of course I haven't.
59
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,157
I wouldn't be still here, would I?
60
00:05:12,192 --> 00:05:14,490
Here, what's gone wrong? What's happening?
61
00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:16,789
Perhaps we're running a little late, Mr Tidey.
62
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,763
Well, I can't hang around here.
I've got work to do, you know.
63
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:24,634
Well, I'm just going round the wards.
I'll find out what the situation is.
64
00:05:24,669 --> 00:05:27,632
Tell her I've been here all night,
and to get her finger out.
65
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,035
You wait here. I'll case the joint.
66
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,483
Morning.
67
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:47,135
- Visiting?
- Well, I'm not producing.
68
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:49,642
I mean, are you expecting a baby, or what?
69
00:05:49,677 --> 00:05:52,080
Oh, definitely a baby. I don't like whats.
70
00:05:52,115 --> 00:05:55,078
- The waiting room is over there.
- Thank you, mate.
71
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,554
If it's a boy, I'll name him Happy, after you.
72
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,240
Bye!
73
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,201
Blimey, she looked upset, doc.
74
00:06:11,236 --> 00:06:14,712
- I'm not surprised. I told her she was pregnant.
- What?
75
00:06:14,747 --> 00:06:18,189
- Is she really?
- No, but it certainly cured her hiccups.
76
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,441
- Excuse me.
- Yes?
77
00:06:21,476 --> 00:06:23,516
Are you expectant, or have you had it?
78
00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,710
No. But if you can spare the time...
79
00:06:25,745 --> 00:06:27,870
- Wait in there, please.
- Thank you.
80
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,315
- Did they just send for you?
- That's right.
81
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:38,672
It don't mean anything, you know. The last
two weeks, they've sent for me nine times.
82
00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:40,522
All I've had is a cup of tea and a biscuit.
83
00:06:40,557 --> 00:06:43,476
It's not good enough. I'd tell them to forget it.
84
00:06:43,511 --> 00:06:46,396
- How can you forget it?
- Cancel the whole thing.
85
00:06:46,431 --> 00:06:48,436
But we've done it, haven't we?
86
00:06:48,471 --> 00:06:50,237
How can you cancel it?
87
00:06:50,272 --> 00:06:52,032
Tell 'em you've changed your mind.
88
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,236
Oh... wey!
89
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,311
Has she had it, then?
90
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,360
I...
91
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,279
Could you get me
The Guinness Book Of Records, please?
92
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,963
- Good morning, Nurse Ball.
- Good morning, Matron.
93
00:07:24,998 --> 00:07:28,709
- Where's Sister?
- In delivery, Matron. Mrs Hodgkiss has gone in.
94
00:07:28,744 --> 00:07:31,439
- Oh, good. And what about Mrs Tidey?
- Afraid not.
95
00:07:31,474 --> 00:07:33,590
She's back here again.
96
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:41,513
- Another false alarm, Mrs Tidey?
- I'm afraid so. I reckon it was just wind again.
97
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,521
I wouldn't be at all surprised.
98
00:07:43,556 --> 00:07:49,192
Well, now, you're three weeks overdue
and your husband's getting very impatient.
99
00:07:49,227 --> 00:07:50,803
Him?
100
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:53,832
Well, he can talk. It took him seven years
to get me pregnant.
101
00:07:53,867 --> 00:07:55,841
Now I am, I'm going to enjoy myself.
102
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,918
If nothing happens soon,
we must think about inducing labour.
103
00:07:58,953 --> 00:08:00,717
What? Just to please him?
104
00:08:00,752 --> 00:08:04,594
Oh, it's only a bit over nine months.
He should be thankful I'm not an elephant.
105
00:08:04,629 --> 00:08:07,911
Well, I'm sure we're all very thankful for that,
Mrs Tidey.
106
00:08:10,956 --> 00:08:13,136
Now, stop being silly, Mrs Pullitt.
107
00:08:13,171 --> 00:08:15,316
Your baby's perfectly all right.
108
00:08:15,351 --> 00:08:17,321
He's not! He's not!
109
00:08:17,356 --> 00:08:19,714
- What's the matter, Nurse?
- It's nothing, Matron.
110
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:23,037
What do you mean?
I tell you, there's something wrong with him.
111
00:08:23,072 --> 00:08:26,271
Nonsense, Mrs Pullitt. You have a fine little boy.
112
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,112
Take a look at his little thing, then.
113
00:08:28,147 --> 00:08:29,553
His what? Oh...
114
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,795
Well, I can't see anything wrong with it.
115
00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:34,632
But it's all bent to one side.
116
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,639
Don't you worry, Mrs Pullitt. We'll have
everything straightened out before you leave.
117
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,441
How the hell can we change our minds?
118
00:08:44,476 --> 00:08:47,836
You can't undo what's already been done,
can you?
119
00:08:47,871 --> 00:08:49,793
What's been done, then?
120
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:51,681
- She has.
- Has she?
121
00:08:51,716 --> 00:08:53,721
She's over nine months gone.
122
00:08:53,756 --> 00:08:55,876
Don't worry, mate. She'll come back.
123
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,036
How can you come... back?
124
00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:02,831
Oh...
125
00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:04,591
Matron.
126
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:09,390
- Well, what's happened?
- I'm afraid it was another false alarm, Mr Tidey.
127
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:11,948
- You may as well go back to work.
- Go back to work?
128
00:09:11,983 --> 00:09:13,757
It was due three weeks ago.
129
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:17,759
Well, I'm sorry, Mr Tidey,
but babies tend to arrive when they feel like it.
130
00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:19,557
There's nothing we can do about it.
131
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:21,761
That's a fine state of affairs, innit, eh?
132
00:09:21,796 --> 00:09:25,793
We'd soon be in a right old mess
if we ran the railways like that.
133
00:09:25,828 --> 00:09:27,711
I was under the impression that you did.
134
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,520
Ha-ha.
135
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,041
- Can I help you at all?
- Er...
136
00:09:43,076 --> 00:09:45,230
No, thanks. I'm just passing the time.
137
00:09:45,265 --> 00:09:46,843
Are you awaiting a birth?
138
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,881
- Yes. That's it.
- Who are you?
139
00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:51,070
- The father. I hope.
- What name is it?
140
00:09:51,105 --> 00:09:52,673
- Name?
- What's your name?
141
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:54,751
Oh! My name?
142
00:09:54,786 --> 00:09:55,760
I er...
143
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,073
That's funny.
144
00:09:57,108 --> 00:09:59,156
I know I had one when I came in here.
145
00:09:59,191 --> 00:10:00,354
Hang on. Let me think.
146
00:10:00,389 --> 00:10:03,153
- Mr Hodgkiss?
- That's it. Hodgkiss. That's me.
147
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,989
Well, congratulations, Mr Hodgkiss.
Your wife's had twin boys.
148
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,001
Get away!
149
00:10:10,036 --> 00:10:12,190
That's very nice. Thank you very much.
150
00:10:12,225 --> 00:10:13,803
Thank you, too.
151
00:10:13,838 --> 00:10:15,976
Yes, well, I'll be pushing off, then.
152
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:18,080
Don't you want to see them, or your wife?
153
00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:21,476
No, not just now.
I've got the girlfriend waiting outside.
154
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,437
That'll do, Sister.
155
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,716
- Get moving!
- What's all the fuss, Dad?
156
00:10:31,751 --> 00:10:33,517
I've just become the father of twins.
157
00:10:33,552 --> 00:10:36,791
- Congratulations.
- Oh, shut up. Come on, get. Hurry up!
158
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,475
Did you find out where they keep the pills?
159
00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:48,083
Nah, didn't have time.
160
00:10:48,118 --> 00:10:49,917
But I reckon I know how to now.
161
00:10:49,952 --> 00:10:52,314
Son, you're going to go to work at last.
162
00:10:52,349 --> 00:10:54,965
Dad, couldn't you possibly manage without me?
163
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,231
You're getting on.
You've got to start work sometime, haven't you?
164
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,834
The fact is, I've had this offer of a job.
In insurance.
165
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,309
He wants to go straight
before he's been crooked.
166
00:11:03,344 --> 00:11:05,749
- He doesn't mean it, do you?
- Of course he doesn't.
167
00:11:05,784 --> 00:11:07,363
- Yes, I do.
- He does.
168
00:11:07,398 --> 00:11:09,197
A good job your mother can't hear you.
169
00:11:09,232 --> 00:11:12,437
You promised on her deathbed
you'd go into business with your father.
170
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,112
I was six years old at the time.
171
00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:15,883
Son, I'm depending on you.
172
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:18,758
You're the only bloke
who could do what I've got in mind.
173
00:11:18,793 --> 00:11:21,598
- If you really mean that, Dad, I suppose...
- That's my boy.
174
00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:22,998
What do you want me to do?
175
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:27,477
Well, if I could get somebody into this hospital
officially, they'd be able to nose about a bit.
176
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:29,880
- You mean me.
- You've got it.
177
00:11:29,915 --> 00:11:33,356
- Dad, it's a maternity hospital.
- No, no, no. Not as a patient.
178
00:11:33,391 --> 00:11:34,473
Thank goodness.
179
00:11:34,508 --> 00:11:35,555
As a nurse.
180
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,759
Well, your pulse beat's all right, Sir Bernard.
181
00:11:41,794 --> 00:11:43,158
Strong?
182
00:11:43,193 --> 00:11:45,236
Beautifully strong.
183
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,989
- And that's all right too.
- Normal?
184
00:11:50,024 --> 00:11:52,001
Wonderfully normal.
185
00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:54,041
Well, it wasn't half an hour ago.
186
00:11:54,076 --> 00:11:56,390
I was right up. You ask Miss Banks.
Wasn't I, dear?
187
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,400
- Yes.
- Yes.
188
00:11:57,435 --> 00:12:02,275
Well, I can assure you, whatever else
you may have, it certainly is not Asian flu.
189
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:04,281
Of course not!
190
00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:06,959
I knew that. I could have told you.
191
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:10,435
What do you mean,
whatever else I might have had?
192
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:15,429
Oh, well, you were probably suffering
from some slight digestive upset, or something.
193
00:12:15,464 --> 00:12:17,078
How are your bowels?
194
00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,877
My bowels?
195
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:21,354
They're perfectly all right.
Why bring them into it?
196
00:12:21,389 --> 00:12:26,031
Well, as you well know, Sir Bernard,
irregularity can cause slight fever symptoms.
197
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:28,724
I'm not irregular.
198
00:12:28,759 --> 00:12:33,197
I'll have you know, I'm one of
the most regular fellows in the business.
199
00:12:33,232 --> 00:12:36,855
- As long as you have no pain, or discomfort...
- Certainly not.
200
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:40,478
Now, if you'll kindly both stop fussing and go,
I have work to do.
201
00:12:40,513 --> 00:12:42,516
Very well, Sir Bernard.
202
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:48,176
- Oh, there was one small problem, Sir Bernard.
- What is it?
203
00:12:48,211 --> 00:12:51,637
- Mrs Tidey, in Bunn Ward, you know?
- Yes! What about her?
204
00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:56,515
She's three weeks over her time and I was
wondering if we ought to consider bringing it on.
205
00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:58,601
Bring it on? Bring what on?
206
00:12:58,636 --> 00:13:02,474
- Why, the birth!
- Bring it on, bring it off. What do I care?
207
00:13:02,509 --> 00:13:04,993
Really, Sir Bernard!
208
00:13:05,028 --> 00:13:07,235
Can't anyone else
make a decision around here?
209
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:11,069
Ask Dr Prodd.
I've got far more important things to worry about.
210
00:13:11,104 --> 00:13:12,877
Very well, Sir Bernard.
211
00:13:12,912 --> 00:13:17,198
And if you'll take my advice,
you'll lie down and have a good rest.
212
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:19,475
I don't need a good rest.
213
00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:21,636
I'm perfectly all right, do you hear?
214
00:13:21,671 --> 00:13:23,641
B... Bowels.
215
00:13:23,676 --> 00:13:27,150
Diseases of. Oh! Diseases of the bowels.
216
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,113
All right. You can get dressed again,
Mrs Jenkins.
217
00:13:34,148 --> 00:13:37,431
Upon my soul, if it ain't Nurse Ball.
218
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,476
The fairest flower of them all.
219
00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:41,481
A present for you, Doctor.
220
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:44,033
No, no. You cannot tempt me with strong drink.
221
00:13:44,068 --> 00:13:47,596
Funny. Those were my exact words to you
when I first came here.
222
00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:49,601
Touche.
223
00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:51,641
Fresh as a mountain stream.
224
00:13:51,676 --> 00:13:55,389
Why don't you take your shoes and socks off
and have a nice paddle?
225
00:13:55,424 --> 00:13:57,630
I'll get you in the end, you little minx.
226
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,043
Well, Doctor?
227
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,833
Yes. I'm afraid you're pregnant again,
Mrs Jenkins.
228
00:14:07,868 --> 00:14:10,445
- What?
- You're pregnant again.
229
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,996
Oh, no, not again. It's too much. It really is.
230
00:14:14,031 --> 00:14:16,036
I thought you were stopping that nonsense.
231
00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:20,039
- What?
- I thought you were stopping having relations.
232
00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:22,041
Oh, I've tried, Doctor.
233
00:14:22,076 --> 00:14:27,518
But you know what it is? My husband gets into
bed and says, "Are you going to sleep, or what?"
234
00:14:27,553 --> 00:14:29,476
And you say, What?
235
00:14:29,511 --> 00:14:31,521
Well, that settles it this time.
236
00:14:31,556 --> 00:14:35,679
Whether he likes it or not,
I'm going to use something from now on.
237
00:14:35,714 --> 00:14:36,999
You'd better, Mrs Jenkins.
238
00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:39,291
What do you think's the safest, Doctor?
239
00:14:39,326 --> 00:14:41,548
For you, Mrs Jenkins, a hearing aid.
240
00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,232
- What?
- Oh, dear.
241
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,511
Come on, son. Hurry up.
I want to get you in there by six.
242
00:14:53,546 --> 00:14:55,078
I'm nearly ready.
243
00:14:55,113 --> 00:14:57,191
Women always take a long time dressing.
244
00:14:57,226 --> 00:14:59,236
Especially when they're men.
245
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,038
Well, this is the best I can do.
246
00:15:05,073 --> 00:15:06,994
I fancy you, dear!
247
00:15:07,029 --> 00:15:08,916
Cyril! You look...
248
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,832
- You look lovely.
- Come off it.
249
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,430
- Hello!
- Get off!
250
00:15:13,465 --> 00:15:14,958
Leave her alone.
251
00:15:14,993 --> 00:15:17,434
What do you think, Dad?
252
00:15:17,469 --> 00:15:20,032
- Dad? What's the matter?
- Nothing.
253
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,511
It's just a bit of a shock, that's all.
254
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,955
It's like seeing your poor old mum again.
255
00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,836
Well, I think he looks lovely.
256
00:15:26,871 --> 00:15:30,316
- He could have fooled me any time.
- Well, that shouldn't be too difficult.
257
00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:31,958
I think we should get a woman to do it.
258
00:15:31,993 --> 00:15:33,961
No, no, son.
259
00:15:33,996 --> 00:15:38,710
In this business, you never want to trust
a woman to do anything you can do yourself.
260
00:15:38,745 --> 00:15:41,233
I reckon he'll pass. What do you say, Fred?
261
00:15:41,268 --> 00:15:43,635
I was thinking...
Couldn't he do with more here?
262
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:44,754
What for?
263
00:15:44,789 --> 00:15:47,269
I agree with Freddy. I'd like to see a bit more.
264
00:15:47,304 --> 00:15:49,077
You would.
265
00:15:49,112 --> 00:15:53,159
Don't you realise that's the point?
He doesn't want to draw attention to himself.
266
00:15:53,194 --> 00:15:56,117
If you make 'em any bigger,
everybody's going to start gawping.
267
00:15:56,152 --> 00:15:59,630
- I could stick some socks in.
- Forget it. They're just a couple of knockers.
268
00:15:59,665 --> 00:16:01,690
Them, I mean.
269
00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:03,681
Turn round.
270
00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:05,357
This skirt's a bit tight, isn't it?
271
00:16:05,392 --> 00:16:08,552
I like seeing women in tight skirts.
Especially from behind.
272
00:16:08,587 --> 00:16:10,561
Shut up.
273
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:13,148
What have you got under here? Tin drawers?
274
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,870
What the hell have you got your trousers on for?
275
00:16:19,905 --> 00:16:22,150
What's the matter? Nobody'll look up there.
276
00:16:22,185 --> 00:16:24,360
How do you know? You're a nurse, aren't you?
277
00:16:24,395 --> 00:16:28,553
A patient might drop in a dead faint at your feet,
come to, look up, what's she going to see?
278
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,232
A lot more without these on.
279
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,313
Shut up laughing. Did you get the knickers?
280
00:16:34,348 --> 00:16:35,923
Yeah. Black lace ones.
281
00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:38,429
I got some strange looks
from the shop assistants.
282
00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:40,043
Go and get 'em. Go on.
283
00:16:40,078 --> 00:16:42,456
Dad, nurses don't wear black lace ones.
284
00:16:42,491 --> 00:16:44,835
They don't wear rolled-up trousers, either.
285
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,401
There they are.
286
00:16:49,436 --> 00:16:51,273
They're OK. What's wrong with 'em?
287
00:16:51,308 --> 00:16:53,076
There's no opening in the front.
288
00:16:53,111 --> 00:16:55,714
- Of course not! Women don't have 'em.
- I know!
289
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,518
Well, shut up arguing and put 'em on.
290
00:16:57,553 --> 00:16:59,123
All right, Dad.
291
00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:00,923
Can't I go disguised as a male orderly?
292
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:05,909
Are you raving mad? Have you ever heard of
a male orderly wearing black lace knickers?
293
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:12,274
Well, I certainly can't see anything wrong
with your stomach, Sir Bernard.
294
00:17:12,309 --> 00:17:14,885
Yes... well, I didn't really expect you to, you know.
295
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,959
It was just one of Matron's foolish fancies
and we have to humour her, you know?
296
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:21,918
Yes. She's always had
a very soft spot for you, Sir Bernard.
297
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,774
That's only to be expected.
298
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,561
She admires a man of character.
299
00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:28,334
Well, I won't waste
any more of your time, Pearson.
300
00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:31,073
I must say, your pelvic cavity's very interesting.
301
00:17:31,108 --> 00:17:33,081
Oh? In what way?
302
00:17:33,116 --> 00:17:36,078
Well, it's rather large for a man.
More like a woman.
303
00:17:36,113 --> 00:17:37,683
Ooh...
304
00:17:37,718 --> 00:17:40,882
Yes, it is. It never used to be like that.
305
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:44,355
- Well, what does it... mean?
- It's nothing to worry about, Sir Bernard.
306
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:49,315
On the contrary, as you well know, it can be
a great asset when it comes to child-bearing.
307
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,721
Yes... Well, if you'll excuse me, Pearson,
I have a lot to do.
308
00:17:53,756 --> 00:17:57,355
A woman's work is never done. I mean,
a man's work is never fun. Goodbye.
309
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,201
It can't be.
310
00:18:03,236 --> 00:18:05,072
Oh, it's impossible.
311
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,281
Sit down, will you?
312
00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:10,799
- Name, please.
- Smethurst.
313
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:14,515
Oh, yes. I have some good news for you,
Mrs Smethurst.
314
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:15,884
Miss Smethurst.
315
00:18:15,919 --> 00:18:20,198
Oh. In that case, I have some bad news for you,
Miss Smethurst.
316
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,912
Next, please.
317
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,189
- Good morning, Doctor.
- Get your clothes off. I'll be with you in a minute.
318
00:18:33,224 --> 00:18:35,316
I don't think that'll be necessary, Doctor.
319
00:18:35,351 --> 00:18:37,231
Sorry. I wasn't expecting you, Matron.
320
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:38,638
Obviously.
321
00:18:38,673 --> 00:18:41,228
I'd like to talk to you
about Mrs Tidey in Bunn Ward.
322
00:18:41,263 --> 00:18:43,162
The one with the bottomless stomach.
323
00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,669
I think we ought to induce labour this evening.
324
00:18:45,704 --> 00:18:47,636
Oh, yeah? What does the old rabbi say?
325
00:18:47,671 --> 00:18:51,479
If by "the old rabbi"
you mean Sir Bernard Cutting,
326
00:18:51,514 --> 00:18:55,593
he's quite prepared to leave the final decision
to you, strange as that may seem.
327
00:18:55,628 --> 00:18:58,194
If you say this evening, that's all right with me.
328
00:18:58,229 --> 00:19:00,053
Thank you, Doctor.
329
00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:01,843
Oh. Incidentally...
330
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:04,997
I'm expecting some more student nurses today.
331
00:19:05,032 --> 00:19:07,195
Oh, really?
332
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,711
I would like to point out that they are
in this hospital to further their education.
333
00:19:11,746 --> 00:19:15,315
Don't worry, Matron.
I shall do everything I possibly can with them.
334
00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:18,073
That's just what I wish to avoid.
335
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:31,670
Remember, I want you to find out where they
keep the stuff and get me a plan of the hospital.
336
00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:34,478
But what if somebody stops me
and asks me what I'm doing?
337
00:19:34,513 --> 00:19:38,319
That's the beauty of this nurse's gear.
Nobody's going to give you a second look.
338
00:19:38,354 --> 00:19:42,592
- It's the first look I'm worried about.
- You've no need to be, honest. You look lovely.
339
00:19:42,627 --> 00:19:45,911
- Will you stop telling him he looks lovely?
- Well, he does.
340
00:19:45,946 --> 00:19:48,354
We'll drop it all and put him in for Miss World.
341
00:19:48,389 --> 00:19:51,916
There's a load of nurses arriving now.
Look.
342
00:19:51,951 --> 00:19:53,717
It's half past five.
343
00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:56,513
They must be going on duty.
Go on. Now's your chance.
344
00:19:56,548 --> 00:19:58,830
- Hey?
- Just tag along behind 'em.
345
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,443
Well, go on. Get a move on!
346
00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:03,028
I can't move fast.
These damn knickers are too tight!
347
00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:05,031
It's much safer that way. Ask any girl.
348
00:20:05,066 --> 00:20:07,270
Do you mind? Come on. Hurry up.
349
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,838
That's it, son. Remember,
we're depending on you. Good luck.
350
00:20:13,873 --> 00:20:16,309
Yeah. I'm going to need it.
351
00:20:16,344 --> 00:20:18,038
Ha-ha. That's my girl.
352
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,476
Report to the desk, girls.
353
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,278
Excuse me, miss.
354
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,837
- Are you with the others?
- Oh, er... Yes. That's right.
355
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:48,433
Over there.
356
00:20:48,468 --> 00:20:50,441
Oh...
357
00:20:50,476 --> 00:20:51,834
Thank you.
358
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,643
Name?
359
00:20:58,678 --> 00:21:00,681
- Carter.
- Carter...
360
00:21:00,716 --> 00:21:03,037
- First name?
- Er... Cyril.
361
00:21:03,072 --> 00:21:05,358
- Cyril?
- Um... Cyrille.
362
00:21:05,393 --> 00:21:07,155
C- Y-R-I-L...
363
00:21:07,190 --> 00:21:08,971
double L-E.
364
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,717
Cyrille...
365
00:21:10,752 --> 00:21:12,477
A very unusual name.
366
00:21:12,512 --> 00:21:14,317
It's a Cyrille... It's a real name.
367
00:21:14,352 --> 00:21:16,954
Would you like to sit over there
with the rest, please?
368
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,276
Can't you sit down, Nurse Carter?
369
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,916
- No, I can't.
- You what?
370
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:26,473
My er... The elastic's gone.
371
00:21:26,508 --> 00:21:27,719
Oh, dear.
372
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,558
I don't suppose you've got a safety pin.
373
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,235
- Yes.
- Thank you.
374
00:22:09,513 --> 00:22:12,956
Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.
Haven't you made a mistake?
375
00:22:12,991 --> 00:22:14,953
- How do you mean?
- This is the Gents.
376
00:22:14,988 --> 00:22:16,916
Yes. I know it is.
377
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,241
Oh, er...
378
00:22:20,276 --> 00:22:21,678
Er... knickers.
379
00:22:21,713 --> 00:22:24,519
I'm terribly sorry. Please forgive me.
380
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,521
I don't mind in the least.
381
00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:29,596
No need to worry. I won't tell a soul.
382
00:22:29,631 --> 00:22:31,203
About what?
383
00:22:31,238 --> 00:22:33,675
Black lace ones, eh? Very kinky.
384
00:22:33,710 --> 00:22:34,425
Eh?
385
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:37,738
Don't rush off, love.
386
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:39,676
I was only kidding, love.
387
00:22:39,711 --> 00:22:40,999
Uh-oh.
388
00:22:41,034 --> 00:22:43,553
Dr Prodd, I've been waiting for you.
389
00:22:43,588 --> 00:22:46,911
Oh, there you are, Matron.
I was just looking for you.
390
00:22:46,946 --> 00:22:49,468
That is the last place you would have found me.
391
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,314
- I see what you mean.
- May I ask what that nurse was doing in there?
392
00:22:54,349 --> 00:22:56,117
Pinning up her knicker...
393
00:22:56,152 --> 00:22:59,312
No. The poor kid just made a mistake.
Went in the wrong door.
394
00:22:59,347 --> 00:23:01,755
- And you just happened to be in there?
- Yeah...
395
00:23:01,790 --> 00:23:03,955
No! No, no. I...
396
00:23:03,990 --> 00:23:07,152
- I went in after her.
- That I can believe.
397
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,355
Mrs Kemp, I'm rather busy at the moment.
398
00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:13,552
Would you mind taking the nurses to the home
and allocate rooms?
399
00:23:13,587 --> 00:23:16,518
Certainly, Matron.
Girls, come along. Follow me, please.
400
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:33,109
When you've finished, Dr Prodd, perhaps we
can carry on with the business of the hospital?
401
00:23:33,144 --> 00:23:35,156
After you, Matron.
402
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,719
That's better.
403
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,215
Hello, Mrs Tidey, and how are we this evening?
404
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,350
- No complaints, thank you, Doctor.
- Good.
405
00:24:03,385 --> 00:24:05,635
- Except that er...
- Yes?
406
00:24:05,670 --> 00:24:07,955
They were a bit stingy with the potatoes tonight.
407
00:24:07,990 --> 00:24:11,277
Yes, well, I'm not so much concerned
with your input as your output.
408
00:24:11,312 --> 00:24:14,651
Oh, there's no trouble there.
I go regular. You ask Sister.
409
00:24:14,686 --> 00:24:17,991
I think the doctor's referring to your baby,
Mrs Tidey.
410
00:24:18,026 --> 00:24:19,717
Why? Nothing wrong with it, is there?
411
00:24:19,752 --> 00:24:23,241
Oh, no. He just seems reluctant
to put in an appearance.
412
00:24:23,276 --> 00:24:27,399
When you look how the world is today,
there's nothing worth coming out for, is there?
413
00:24:27,434 --> 00:24:29,595
I mean, the world's in a shocking state.
414
00:24:29,630 --> 00:24:33,395
- You take the Common Market.
- I think we'll give him a bit of a nudge, shall we
415
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:35,800
You're not going to stick that
in the poor little beggar?
416
00:24:35,835 --> 00:24:39,629
- No. Only into you, Mrs Tidey.
- No. No. You're not puncturing me.
417
00:24:39,664 --> 00:24:42,792
It's for your own good.
You've gone on far too long.
418
00:24:42,827 --> 00:24:44,403
I don't care.
419
00:24:44,438 --> 00:24:48,035
I'm having my kid naturally,
if I have to lie here for the rest of my life.
420
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:50,076
Sister.
421
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,317
Don't be silly. This won't harm you,
or the baby, I can promise you.
422
00:24:54,352 --> 00:24:56,595
I'm not having it, I tell you.
423
00:24:56,630 --> 00:24:58,756
Now, please, hold still... Aargh!
424
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:03,816
I'm so sorry.
425
00:25:03,851 --> 00:25:05,477
Mrs Tidey...
426
00:25:05,512 --> 00:25:09,798
If you kick me again,
I warn you, I'll put you on a strict diet.
427
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,032
That's better. Now, then.
428
00:25:13,067 --> 00:25:13,782
Ow!
429
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,039
- I haven't touched you.
- Oh...
430
00:25:16,074 --> 00:25:17,200
What's the matter?
431
00:25:17,235 --> 00:25:19,879
It's... it's starting. Oh...
432
00:25:19,914 --> 00:25:22,115
Are you sure it isn't indigestion again?
433
00:25:22,150 --> 00:25:25,118
It can't be. I've hardly had a thing to eat all day.
434
00:25:25,153 --> 00:25:27,509
All right, Sister. Take her down to Delivery.
435
00:25:27,544 --> 00:25:29,123
Yes, Matron.
436
00:25:29,158 --> 00:25:31,993
Ooh, but let me finish... finish my dinner first.
437
00:25:32,028 --> 00:25:33,693
Oooh!
438
00:25:33,728 --> 00:25:35,323
Ooh...
439
00:25:35,358 --> 00:25:37,361
All right, Doctor. You may go.
440
00:25:37,396 --> 00:25:39,401
Hey? Oh... What am I going to do with this?
441
00:25:39,436 --> 00:25:42,876
I'm sure you don't require
any suggestions from me, Doctor.
442
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,797
Put a call through for Mr Tidey.
His wife's started labour.
443
00:25:54,832 --> 00:25:57,120
Again? Let's hope she finishes this time.
444
00:25:57,155 --> 00:26:00,198
- Is this Sir Bernard's mail?
- Yes, Matron. Last delivery.
445
00:26:00,233 --> 00:26:02,714
I'll take it to him. I want to see how he is.
446
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,315
First signs of physical change...
447
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,036
Who is?
448
00:26:16,071 --> 00:26:19,516
- Who is it?
- It's Matron, Sir Bernard.
449
00:26:19,551 --> 00:26:21,352
Just a moment, Matron.
450
00:26:21,387 --> 00:26:23,118
I won't be a minute.
451
00:26:23,153 --> 00:26:25,800
Yes... Come in now, Matron.
452
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,839
I'm sorry, Sir Bernard.
I didn't know you were changing.
453
00:26:33,874 --> 00:26:35,637
Changing?
454
00:26:35,672 --> 00:26:39,514
What are you talking about? I'm not changing.
That's a lie, do you hear? It's a lie.
455
00:26:39,549 --> 00:26:41,272
Your clothes, Sir Bernard.
456
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:46,069
Oh... my clothes. I'm sorry.
I thought you were inferring that I...
457
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:49,436
Well, don't keep staring at me
as if I were a freak.
458
00:26:49,471 --> 00:26:51,555
Oh, you misunderstand me, Sir Bernard.
459
00:26:51,590 --> 00:26:58,074
Oh, no, I don't. I know what you are thinking and
let me tell you, I'm a man, like any other man.
460
00:26:58,109 --> 00:27:00,674
Oh, no. I cannot agree with that.
461
00:27:00,709 --> 00:27:01,680
What?
462
00:27:01,715 --> 00:27:04,633
You have something very few men have.
463
00:27:04,668 --> 00:27:06,392
What do you mean?
464
00:27:06,427 --> 00:27:07,595
Greatness.
465
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,717
Oh, well... there's no denying that, naturally.
466
00:27:11,752 --> 00:27:15,276
If I may say so, Sir Bernard,
I think you've been overdoing it.
467
00:27:15,311 --> 00:27:18,033
Overdoing it? What do you mean?
Overdoing what?
468
00:27:18,068 --> 00:27:21,475
Work! It's time you had a holiday, I think.
469
00:27:21,510 --> 00:27:24,910
I don't want a holiday.
And will you kindly stop fussing over me?
470
00:27:24,945 --> 00:27:26,398
I'm only thinking of you.
471
00:27:26,433 --> 00:27:28,556
Well, stop thinking of me and go away.
472
00:27:28,591 --> 00:27:30,596
Very well, Sir Bernard.
473
00:27:30,631 --> 00:27:31,998
Oh...
474
00:27:32,033 --> 00:27:33,974
I nearly forgot. Your mail.
475
00:27:34,009 --> 00:27:35,916
Yes, I am! And I can prove it!
476
00:27:35,951 --> 00:27:39,037
Do you hear? Prove it!
477
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,917
Ye-argh!
478
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,321
Has it happened?
479
00:28:02,356 --> 00:28:04,715
- Not yet, I don't think.
- Oh, thank heavens.
480
00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:06,323
I'm in time.
481
00:28:06,358 --> 00:28:08,032
Ooh, my hooter...
482
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,836
Oh, no. I can't stay here.
483
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,479
Madge, can you come up
and help me with my hair?
484
00:28:28,514 --> 00:28:31,797
But I'm undressed.
- So what? I'm in a hurry.
485
00:28:31,832 --> 00:28:34,075
Oh, all right.
486
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:45,790
Hello.
487
00:28:50,636 --> 00:28:51,754
Hello?
488
00:28:51,789 --> 00:28:53,324
Hello, Dad.
489
00:28:53,359 --> 00:28:54,679
Cyril, what's up?
490
00:28:54,714 --> 00:28:56,437
I've got into a spot of bother.
491
00:28:56,472 --> 00:28:59,175
What, already?
What's happened? Where are you?
492
00:28:59,210 --> 00:29:01,843
- I'm in this nurse's bedroom.
- Nurse's bedroom?
493
00:29:01,878 --> 00:29:05,281
You're supposed to be finding the stuff.
And don't tell me it's there.
494
00:29:05,316 --> 00:29:10,235
No, Dad. They seemed to think I was a new
student nurse, so they put me in this room.
495
00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:14,279
Oh, my God. I told you not to do anything
that would draw attention to you.
496
00:29:14,314 --> 00:29:15,883
But I couldn't help it.
497
00:29:15,918 --> 00:29:18,638
I had to go to the Gents to pin up my knickers.
498
00:29:18,673 --> 00:29:21,324
You went to the Gents to pin up your knickers?
499
00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:24,477
Look, I haven't got time to explain now,
but I can't stay here.
500
00:29:24,512 --> 00:29:25,640
Why not?
501
00:29:25,675 --> 00:29:28,877
- Another nurse lives in this room.
- So? She's not onto you, is she?
502
00:29:28,912 --> 00:29:31,599
No! But she will be
when I get undressed to go to bed.
503
00:29:31,634 --> 00:29:33,555
I know, get undressed under your nightie.
504
00:29:33,590 --> 00:29:35,477
Your mum did that before we got married.
505
00:29:35,512 --> 00:29:37,356
Dad, I haven't got a nightie.
506
00:29:37,391 --> 00:29:40,233
All right, son. All right, all right. Don't panic.
507
00:29:40,268 --> 00:29:42,241
Don't go to bed. That's it.
508
00:29:42,276 --> 00:29:45,397
Try and find out something this evening,
and I'll be along later.
509
00:29:45,432 --> 00:29:46,400
Listen...
510
00:29:46,435 --> 00:29:48,441
Hello? Is someone in there?
511
00:29:48,476 --> 00:29:51,518
Dad, I'll have to go now.
There's someone at the door.
512
00:29:51,553 --> 00:29:54,075
Right. I'll be in the fathers' waiting room.
513
00:29:54,110 --> 00:29:56,598
Now, you try and get a plan of the hospital.
514
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,830
Hey, you. Let me in.
515
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,917
Oh. Oh, hello.
516
00:30:07,952 --> 00:30:09,871
I'm your roommate, Susan Ball.
517
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,603
Is something wrong?
518
00:30:15,638 --> 00:30:17,676
Eh? Oh, no. You're beautiful.
519
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,557
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be personal.
520
00:30:20,592 --> 00:30:23,438
Oh. Oh, that's all right.
521
00:30:23,473 --> 00:30:27,712
You just keep saying things like that
and you and I are going to get along just fine.
522
00:30:27,747 --> 00:30:29,438
What do I call you?
523
00:30:29,473 --> 00:30:30,634
Er, Cyrille.
524
00:30:30,669 --> 00:30:34,036
Right, Cyrille.
Let's see if we can't make you feel at home.
525
00:30:34,071 --> 00:30:36,953
Loo and bathroom in there.
And that's your bed there.
526
00:30:36,988 --> 00:30:38,154
Oh, thanks.
527
00:30:38,189 --> 00:30:39,234
Where's your luggage?
528
00:30:39,269 --> 00:30:41,828
I haven't got any. I lost it at the railway station.
529
00:30:41,863 --> 00:30:43,751
I can let you have anything you need.
530
00:30:43,786 --> 00:30:45,477
Oh, no. I'm all right, thanks.
531
00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:48,079
You'll find you won't need a nightie in here.
532
00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:51,374
This place is so well heated,
you can sleep in the raw.
533
00:30:51,409 --> 00:30:54,635
- I always do.
- Oh, no. I shan't be staying here.
534
00:30:54,670 --> 00:30:56,641
Oh, come here.
535
00:30:56,676 --> 00:30:59,285
Don't talk like that.
536
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:03,279
You know, once you settle down,
you'll find you'll like it here.
537
00:31:03,314 --> 00:31:05,281
It's a good hospital.
538
00:31:05,316 --> 00:31:10,076
And there's still quite a few young doctors
who are still prepared to take no for an answer.
539
00:31:10,111 --> 00:31:13,276
All except for old Prodd, that is.
540
00:31:13,311 --> 00:31:15,914
Oh, dear. You want to watch out for him.
541
00:31:15,949 --> 00:31:17,284
Do you know,
542
00:31:17,319 --> 00:31:21,075
he collects nurses like some men
collect big game trophies.
543
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,159
Around here, we call him the taxidermist.
544
00:31:25,194 --> 00:31:27,884
You're not going to bed now, are you?
545
00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:32,073
Oh, good heavens, no. I'm going to grab me
a quick shower cos I've got a date.
546
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,160
Oh, these rotten catches.
547
00:31:44,195 --> 00:31:46,714
Cyrille, would you mind undoing it for me?
548
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,153
Oooh...
549
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,556
Dr Goode...
550
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,163
- Dr Goode.
- Argh!
551
00:32:10,198 --> 00:32:14,079
Oh, hello. Do forgive me, Sir Bernard.
I was miles away.
552
00:32:14,114 --> 00:32:17,476
Oh, yes. Of course. Well, perhaps
I should come back some other time.
553
00:32:17,511 --> 00:32:19,322
No. I'm back now.
554
00:32:19,357 --> 00:32:21,476
And what can I do for you, Sir Bernard?
555
00:32:21,511 --> 00:32:23,812
Well, I've got a bit of a problem.
556
00:32:23,847 --> 00:32:26,114
Oh, haven't we all? Would you care to?
557
00:32:26,149 --> 00:32:28,440
I can't do it lying down.
558
00:32:28,475 --> 00:32:30,561
Oh, dear me. You do have a problem.
559
00:32:30,596 --> 00:32:34,639
No, I mean I prefer to sit down, if you don't mind.
560
00:32:34,674 --> 00:32:36,915
Don't mind? If it turns you on, who cares?
561
00:32:36,950 --> 00:32:42,052
Look here, Dr Goode, you must understand,
this interview must be purely off the record.
562
00:32:42,087 --> 00:32:47,154
I can assure you that anything you say to me
will go into one ear and out of the other.
563
00:32:47,189 --> 00:32:48,604
That doesn't surprise me.
564
00:32:48,639 --> 00:32:52,633
As a matter of fact, I was talking to my wife
only the other day. "Hamlet," I said...
565
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,838
Oh, I call her Hamlet because
she thinks she's a Great Dane. Isn't it silly?
566
00:32:57,873 --> 00:33:00,319
Dr Goode, I'm not interested in your wife.
567
00:33:00,354 --> 00:33:03,557
Well, that's a funny thing. Neither am I.
Shall we forget her?
568
00:33:03,592 --> 00:33:05,118
With pleasure.
569
00:33:05,153 --> 00:33:08,198
Good. Now, what was it
I wanted to talk to you about?
570
00:33:08,233 --> 00:33:09,793
It's the other way round.
571
00:33:09,828 --> 00:33:11,198
Is it? What is?
572
00:33:11,233 --> 00:33:14,402
Our conversation, I mean.
I came here to consult you.
573
00:33:14,437 --> 00:33:17,751
Oh! Well, that puts a different light
on the whole matter.
574
00:33:17,786 --> 00:33:19,292
Do consult.
575
00:33:19,327 --> 00:33:20,763
Thank you.
576
00:33:20,798 --> 00:33:22,801
I was wondering if you personally
577
00:33:22,836 --> 00:33:27,083
had ever thought about the possibilities
of having a... sex change.
578
00:33:27,118 --> 00:33:32,115
Well, as a matter of fact, I'm quite happy as I am.
But thank you very much, Sir Bernard.
579
00:33:32,150 --> 00:33:33,917
No, I don't mean you.
580
00:33:33,952 --> 00:33:35,757
I mean, generally speaking.
581
00:33:35,792 --> 00:33:39,314
Have you ever known of a case
of a man turning into a woman?
582
00:33:39,349 --> 00:33:42,836
No. But I've heard of one
who turned into a one-way street.
583
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,559
Oh... Doctor, please. Be serious.
584
00:33:46,594 --> 00:33:52,038
You see, I have this patient who genuinely
thinks that he is turning into a woman.
585
00:33:52,073 --> 00:33:53,643
Dear me.
586
00:33:53,678 --> 00:33:55,283
Are there any physical changes?
587
00:33:55,318 --> 00:33:57,709
I don't think so. I haven't looked for two hours.
588
00:33:57,744 --> 00:33:59,810
I mean, at him. Haven't looked at him.
589
00:33:59,845 --> 00:34:01,841
I think it's a purely mental obsession.
590
00:34:01,876 --> 00:34:04,838
Has he had any experience of the opposite sex?
591
00:34:04,873 --> 00:34:06,841
Oh, no. No, he hasn't had time.
592
00:34:06,876 --> 00:34:10,396
I mean, he hasn't had... His career.
He's been far too busy with his career.
593
00:34:10,431 --> 00:34:12,401
Ah. Then I think I understand.
594
00:34:12,436 --> 00:34:17,640
Your patient is suffering from a pent-up desire
to prove to himself that he is a man.
595
00:34:17,675 --> 00:34:19,695
You think so?
596
00:34:19,730 --> 00:34:21,681
Yes. Yes...
597
00:34:21,716 --> 00:34:23,357
You may be right.
598
00:34:23,392 --> 00:34:24,963
I'm sure I am.
599
00:34:24,998 --> 00:34:28,789
And I would recommend that he finds
a suitable partner as quickly as possible.
600
00:34:28,824 --> 00:34:31,713
And by suitable, you mean willing.
601
00:34:31,748 --> 00:34:32,993
And able.
602
00:34:33,028 --> 00:34:37,477
Yes. Oh, I feel better already.
For him. I feel better for him, I mean.
603
00:34:37,512 --> 00:34:39,277
Thank you, Dr Goode.
604
00:34:39,312 --> 00:34:41,314
You've been most helpful.
605
00:34:41,349 --> 00:34:43,281
Oh, I can't tell you...
606
00:34:43,316 --> 00:34:45,436
Oh, yes. I'll get onto it... right away!
607
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,318
Ah. Matron, any news?
608
00:34:53,353 --> 00:34:55,316
I'm afraid not, Mr Tidey.
609
00:34:55,351 --> 00:34:56,923
What's she doing?
610
00:34:56,958 --> 00:35:00,589
Well, at this moment,
consuming a large plate of fish cakes.
611
00:35:00,624 --> 00:35:01,998
Fish cakes?
612
00:35:02,033 --> 00:35:05,556
Ever since she got pregnant,
she's had this craving for fish cakes.
613
00:35:05,591 --> 00:35:07,561
Even in the middle of the ruddy night.
614
00:35:07,596 --> 00:35:10,796
Do you know, she must have polished off
thousands of 'em.
615
00:35:10,831 --> 00:35:17,109
I'll tell you one thing, if ever this child gets born,
it's going to be smothered in breadcrumbs.
616
00:35:17,144 --> 00:35:18,962
Ah, Dr Prodd.
617
00:35:18,997 --> 00:35:20,876
You're in Emergency tonight.
618
00:35:20,911 --> 00:35:23,672
- Afraid so.
- We're standing by for a possible premature.
619
00:35:23,707 --> 00:35:26,434
- Oh, no...
- You won't mind when you find out who she is.
620
00:35:26,469 --> 00:35:28,795
I shall be up in my room if I'm required, Arthur.
621
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,110
What did she mean by that? Who's coming in?
622
00:35:32,145 --> 00:35:34,077
Jane Darling, the film star.
623
00:35:34,112 --> 00:35:35,275
Really?
624
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,510
Hello. It's my pin -up girl.
625
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,323
Dad?
626
00:35:45,358 --> 00:35:47,396
Oh. Er... Good evening.
627
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,003
- Excuse me.
- That's all right.
628
00:35:53,038 --> 00:35:55,280
- Lost again?
- Yes, that's right. Excuse me.
629
00:35:55,315 --> 00:35:57,834
You know, love,
what you want is a plan of this place.
630
00:35:57,869 --> 00:35:59,113
How did you know?
631
00:35:59,148 --> 00:36:01,708
Think of a better way
of getting to know your way around?
632
00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:03,756
I see what you mean. If you'll excuse me...
633
00:36:03,791 --> 00:36:05,193
I've got a plan up in my room.
634
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,793
- Have you really?
- All the doctors have one.
635
00:36:09,828 --> 00:36:10,949
I'd like to see yours.
636
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,080
Likewise.
637
00:36:13,115 --> 00:36:15,804
- In your room, you say?
- Room 15 on the fifth floor.
638
00:36:15,839 --> 00:36:18,798
If you'd like to come up in ten minutes,
I'll show it to you.
639
00:36:18,833 --> 00:36:20,711
If I come, will you promise to behave?
640
00:36:20,746 --> 00:36:21,914
Naturally.
641
00:36:21,949 --> 00:36:25,077
All right, then. I'll be there.
642
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,318
And when I behave naturally,
I never get any complaints.
643
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,436
Yes. Who is it?
644
00:36:37,471 --> 00:36:39,073
It's me. Frankie.
645
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,036
Come in.
646
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,241
It is all right for tonight, isn't it?
647
00:36:54,276 --> 00:36:58,114
Yes. But I'm so frightened somebody's
going to see you coming here one night.
648
00:36:58,149 --> 00:37:00,998
Oh, get away with you. It's only once a week.
649
00:37:01,033 --> 00:37:03,475
Yes, but you know how gossip
goes round the hospital.
650
00:37:03,510 --> 00:37:05,595
After all, you are a married man, Francis.
651
00:37:05,630 --> 00:37:08,553
Yes, I know.
But as I've told you, my wife doesn't like it.
652
00:37:08,588 --> 00:37:10,357
I can't think why not.
653
00:37:10,392 --> 00:37:12,471
No. She thinks it's a waste of time.
654
00:37:12,506 --> 00:37:14,551
Do you know, she won't even look at it.
655
00:37:14,586 --> 00:37:16,755
- Oh, what a shame.
- Yes.
656
00:37:16,790 --> 00:37:19,440
And a man needs a little relaxation
when he comes home.
657
00:37:19,475 --> 00:37:21,043
Yes, of course.
658
00:37:21,078 --> 00:37:24,038
That's why I'm so thrilled
you like it as much as I do.
659
00:37:24,073 --> 00:37:26,041
As long as we're careful.
660
00:37:26,076 --> 00:37:28,116
Care for a little drinkie first?
661
00:37:28,151 --> 00:37:30,156
Oh, lovely.
662
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,036
It should be a good one tonight.
663
00:37:38,071 --> 00:37:39,643
Yes.
664
00:37:39,678 --> 00:37:41,637
If it's anything like last week...
665
00:37:41,672 --> 00:37:43,312
That was wonderful
666
00:37:43,347 --> 00:37:45,037
Cheers.
667
00:37:45,072 --> 00:37:46,718
Good health.
668
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:50,959
Mm...
669
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:53,719
Are you ready?
670
00:37:53,754 --> 00:37:54,796
Ra-ther!
671
00:37:54,831 --> 00:37:55,839
Ooh...
672
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:13,111
I can't think why your wife doesn't like it.
673
00:38:13,146 --> 00:38:15,474
It's the best programme on television.
674
00:38:15,509 --> 00:38:21,072
Oh, I know. But you know, she'd rather curl up
on a hearth rug with a good bone.
675
00:38:21,107 --> 00:38:23,993
- It's coming on.
- Oh, good!
676
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,391
Now it's time
for this week's exciting episode of...
677
00:38:29,426 --> 00:38:31,003
The Surgeons.
678
00:38:31,038 --> 00:38:34,794
The Surgeons,
the everyday drama of a great hospital.
679
00:38:34,829 --> 00:38:38,909
Last week, we left Nurse Spencer
unconscious on the operating table,
680
00:38:38,944 --> 00:38:42,989
while Dr Carpenter, her lover,
prepared to fight for her life,
681
00:38:43,024 --> 00:38:45,798
still unaware that his estranged wife Rachel
682
00:38:45,833 --> 00:38:49,674
had secretly substituted a cylinder
of deadly carbon dioxide gas...
683
00:38:49,709 --> 00:38:54,311
...in place of her life-giving oxygen.
684
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,320
Yes? What do you want?
685
00:39:00,355 --> 00:39:03,000
You remember me. Mr Hodgkiss.
I was here this morning.
686
00:39:03,035 --> 00:39:04,922
Oh, yes. I thought you'd had your baby.
687
00:39:04,957 --> 00:39:07,952
- No. I'm leaving that to the missus.
- Well, you know where to go.
688
00:39:07,987 --> 00:39:09,996
Thank you.
689
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,203
- Evening.
- Evening.
690
00:39:17,238 --> 00:39:19,037
You haven't had it yet, then?
691
00:39:19,072 --> 00:39:21,480
No. I reckon it'll be here tonight, though.
692
00:39:21,515 --> 00:39:24,955
You'll be lucky.
I've been here every night for the last ten days.
693
00:39:24,990 --> 00:39:28,395
- They sent for me.
- It don't mean a thing. That's the way they work.
694
00:39:28,430 --> 00:39:30,436
When in doubt, send for the ruddy father.
695
00:39:30,471 --> 00:39:34,838
Yes... Well, that'll teach you to turn over
and go back to sleep next time, won't it?
696
00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:36,841
That's not funny.
697
00:39:36,876 --> 00:39:40,509
- My woman's waited seven years for a baby.
- She needn't have done that.
698
00:39:40,544 --> 00:39:43,672
- No?
- No. I had that trouble when I kept chickens.
699
00:39:43,707 --> 00:39:45,124
Chickens?
700
00:39:45,159 --> 00:39:47,936
I used to get plenty of eggs, but no baby chicks.
701
00:39:47,971 --> 00:39:50,714
- Oh, no.
- Till somebody told me what to do.
702
00:39:50,749 --> 00:39:53,433
- What was that?
- Change the cock.
703
00:39:53,468 --> 00:39:56,118
Oh, that's very funny, I don't think.
704
00:39:58,080 --> 00:39:59,603
- Mr Grant?
- Yes?
705
00:39:59,638 --> 00:40:01,950
Congratulations. You've got a fine boy.
706
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,038
Oi... What about me, then?
707
00:40:05,073 --> 00:40:07,036
I was here before him.
708
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,032
Better luck next time.
709
00:40:12,067 --> 00:40:13,678
Oh, get shunted.
710
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,796
Come in, love. Come in.
711
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,713
Gosh! No wonder they call you the taxidermist.
712
00:40:45,748 --> 00:40:49,674
Do they? Well, it just shows you,
there's nothing like advertising.
713
00:40:49,709 --> 00:40:52,320
- Sit down. Make yourself at home.
- No, I can't stay.
714
00:40:52,355 --> 00:40:54,470
Nonsense. Of course you can.
715
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,956
Just so we're not disturbed.
716
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:01,763
Now, then...
717
00:41:01,798 --> 00:41:04,633
- What about a little drink?
- Oh, no, no. I never touch it.
718
00:41:04,668 --> 00:41:07,280
- Oh. Cigarette, then?
- No. I never touch them.
719
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,670
Well, that leaves only one thing to offer you.
720
00:41:12,705 --> 00:41:14,283
I never touch that, either.
721
00:41:14,318 --> 00:41:17,870
- You haven't come here to play games.
- You're right. I came to see your plan.
722
00:41:17,905 --> 00:41:20,598
- Who cares about the damn plan?
- Ah, ah. Plan first.
723
00:41:20,633 --> 00:41:23,752
I've been planning all ruddy evening.
It's time for action.
724
00:41:23,787 --> 00:41:26,871
- I shall scream. I shall scream. Matron! Matron!
- OK. OK.
725
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,997
There you are.
726
00:41:35,032 --> 00:41:38,157
But you know damn well
you didn't come up here just for that.
727
00:41:38,192 --> 00:41:40,161
Oh, yes. This is just what I wanted.
728
00:41:40,196 --> 00:41:42,555
- And this is just what I wanted.
- Get off.
729
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,236
Now, then. Where do they keep the pills?
730
00:41:53,271 --> 00:41:54,240
Eh?
731
00:41:54,275 --> 00:41:56,351
The pill. There's a big store of them here.
732
00:41:56,386 --> 00:41:58,361
Oh! I get you now.
733
00:41:58,396 --> 00:42:01,358
Down in the basement here,
but I can't get you any now, love.
734
00:42:01,393 --> 00:42:03,043
They're locked up.
735
00:42:03,078 --> 00:42:04,832
Oh, I don't want it for myself.
736
00:42:04,867 --> 00:42:06,319
- Oh, good.
- Get off!
737
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,201
Is this the only way down to the basement?
738
00:42:11,236 --> 00:42:14,153
That's enough of the damn plan, love.
We're wasting time.
739
00:42:14,188 --> 00:42:16,116
- I haven't finished.
- What are you doing?
740
00:42:16,151 --> 00:42:18,515
- Give that back.
- You promised you'd give it to me.
741
00:42:18,550 --> 00:42:20,174
I will, too. But not that.
742
00:42:20,209 --> 00:42:21,798
It's not mine. Come on.
743
00:42:21,833 --> 00:42:23,403
Come and get it.
744
00:42:23,438 --> 00:42:26,398
- Oh, you want to play games?
- No. I didn't mean that. Get off!
745
00:42:26,433 --> 00:42:28,232
No, I didn't mean that. Get off!
746
00:42:28,267 --> 00:42:30,276
Get away!
747
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,358
Take your hands off. Take your hands...
748
00:42:33,393 --> 00:42:35,396
Argh!
749
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,718
What's this then, eh?
750
00:42:40,753 --> 00:42:42,517
Rolled-up socks?
751
00:42:42,552 --> 00:42:44,357
Why, you little cheat...
752
00:42:44,392 --> 00:42:47,084
- What else you got down there, eh?
- Get off.
753
00:42:47,119 --> 00:42:49,873
That's enough.
I don't want to have to use any rough stuff.
754
00:42:49,908 --> 00:42:52,633
I wouldn't if I were you.
I was boxing champ at Guy's.
755
00:42:52,668 --> 00:42:54,790
Let me go. Please. You'll be sorry. Let me go!
756
00:42:54,825 --> 00:42:56,199
Try and make me, love.
757
00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:59,310
- Who's that?
- Me.
758
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,361
God, what a woman!
759
00:43:09,396 --> 00:43:11,436
Hey! Hey, love. Phwoar!
760
00:43:11,471 --> 00:43:13,680
Come back, love.
761
00:43:13,715 --> 00:43:15,836
They'll be there within half an hour.
762
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,721
Hey, doc. You're wanted.
763
00:43:22,756 --> 00:43:24,990
- Blast. What is it?
- The premature film star.
764
00:43:25,025 --> 00:43:26,797
Her old man's been on. It's started.
765
00:43:26,832 --> 00:43:29,718
- Damn. Is the ambulance here?
- Outside. There's the address.
766
00:43:29,753 --> 00:43:30,994
Right.
767
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,192
- Did you get it?
- Yeah. There it is.
768
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:39,002
What's this?
769
00:43:39,037 --> 00:43:40,758
Sorry, Dad. It's one of my bristols.
770
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,276
That's it. Let's go.
771
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,555
We can't go on an emergency without a nurse.
772
00:43:47,590 --> 00:43:51,753
- I'm sorry, Doctor, I am only the attendant...
- Hang on a minute. Hang on.
773
00:43:51,788 --> 00:43:53,841
Ah. You'll do nicely. Come on.
774
00:43:53,876 --> 00:43:56,554
- Let me go.
- I'm sorry, love. We've got a little job.
775
00:43:56,589 --> 00:43:59,165
Leave me alone, will you?
776
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,395
That driver touched my bottom!
777
00:44:01,430 --> 00:44:04,080
Something tells me
Cyril's taking this too seriously.
778
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:11,998
Nurse, forceps...
779
00:44:12,033 --> 00:44:14,214
scalpel...
780
00:44:14,249 --> 00:44:16,396
swabs...
781
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:18,873
Ah...
782
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,041
More oxygen...
783
00:44:27,076 --> 00:44:29,400
Sister, quick. More swabs!
784
00:44:29,435 --> 00:44:32,353
- Who's that?
- Just as it was getting exciting too.
785
00:44:32,388 --> 00:44:34,361
Oh...
786
00:44:34,396 --> 00:44:36,401
Yes. Who is it?
787
00:44:36,436 --> 00:44:39,478
It's me, Matron, Sir Bernard. I'd like to come in.
788
00:44:39,513 --> 00:44:41,481
Sir Bernard...
789
00:44:41,516 --> 00:44:43,357
Just a moment, Sir Bernard.
790
00:44:43,392 --> 00:44:45,163
He can't find you in my room.
791
00:44:45,198 --> 00:44:47,430
- I'll hide.
- Quick. This way. In here.
792
00:44:59,240 --> 00:45:00,798
Aah!
793
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:11,641
Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir Bernard.
794
00:45:11,676 --> 00:45:13,830
I was just in the middle of undressing.
795
00:45:13,865 --> 00:45:15,637
Oh, don't let me stop you, Matron.
796
00:45:15,672 --> 00:45:17,910
- I beg your pardon?
- I'm very broad-minded.
797
00:45:17,945 --> 00:45:19,921
I might not even look the other way!
798
00:45:19,956 --> 00:45:22,873
Sir Bernard, do you think it's wise
coming to my room at night?
799
00:45:22,908 --> 00:45:25,678
- People might misunderstand.
- I don't think so.
800
00:45:25,713 --> 00:45:28,951
They'll merely think we're having
a bit of the old slap and tickle.
801
00:45:28,986 --> 00:45:31,028
- Really, Sir Bernard!
- Well, why not?
802
00:45:31,063 --> 00:45:33,070
It's natural. You're a man and I'm a woman.
803
00:45:33,105 --> 00:45:34,763
Sir Bernard,
804
00:45:34,798 --> 00:45:36,881
are you sure you're feeling quite yourself?
805
00:45:36,916 --> 00:45:40,436
On the contrary, I've never felt more like it.
Myself, I mean.
806
00:45:40,471 --> 00:45:42,875
Don't you think you ought to go and lie down?
807
00:45:42,910 --> 00:45:45,803
Now you're getting the idea.
808
00:45:45,838 --> 00:45:47,841
No, no, no. I mean, in your room.
809
00:45:47,876 --> 00:45:50,235
Oh, why? It's much more comfortable here.
810
00:45:50,270 --> 00:45:52,037
Come on. Let's sit down.
811
00:45:52,072 --> 00:45:54,114
What on earth was that?
812
00:45:54,149 --> 00:45:56,121
Oh, it's just a spring.
813
00:45:56,156 --> 00:45:58,673
Oh. I thought it sounded like breaking glass.
814
00:45:58,708 --> 00:46:02,679
That would never do, would it?
Remember what happened to the skipper?
815
00:46:02,714 --> 00:46:05,638
I'm sure you're not feeling well. Do you feel hot?
816
00:46:05,673 --> 00:46:08,245
- Very.
- I shall go and get my thermometer.
817
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,885
- Oh, that's not what I want.
- What is it, then?
818
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:15,118
Matron, a man and a woman are here
to fulfil one basic function.
819
00:46:15,153 --> 00:46:17,121
You know what that is, don't you?
820
00:46:17,156 --> 00:46:20,797
Well, I should do,
after 15 years in a maternity hospital.
821
00:46:20,832 --> 00:46:24,052
That's what's wrong with me.
I need to prove myself as a man.
822
00:46:24,087 --> 00:46:27,273
- Well, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
- Exactly.
823
00:46:27,308 --> 00:46:29,920
Will you lay the table, or shall I?
Get your cruet out.
824
00:46:29,955 --> 00:46:32,433
- You can't be suggesting...
- Why not?
825
00:46:32,468 --> 00:46:34,800
You know
there's a mutual attraction between us.
826
00:46:34,835 --> 00:46:38,074
You must have felt it,
working together all these years.
827
00:46:38,109 --> 00:46:41,314
- Side by side, brushing against each other.
- Oh...
828
00:46:41,349 --> 00:46:44,630
So you've felt it too? That exciting tingling...
829
00:46:44,665 --> 00:46:47,912
I've only got to think of you and I have a tingle.
830
00:46:47,947 --> 00:46:49,921
Oh, how wonderful.
831
00:46:49,956 --> 00:46:52,474
But I never thought that you wanted me, too.
832
00:46:52,509 --> 00:46:54,516
- Desperately.
- Oh!
833
00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:58,193
I don't know what to say. It's all so sudden.
834
00:46:58,228 --> 00:47:01,869
Oh, my dear, I don't expect you
to make up your mind immediately.
835
00:47:01,904 --> 00:47:04,679
Take your time.
Think it over for a couple of minutes.
836
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,716
Oh!
837
00:47:07,751 --> 00:47:10,673
You're all of a tingle, aren't you?
Tingle, tingle...
838
00:47:10,708 --> 00:47:12,283
Er...
839
00:47:12,318 --> 00:47:14,789
Hello, Tingle here... Matron here.
840
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:17,359
Oh! Yes, Arthur.
841
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,521
I see. Has the ambulance left?
842
00:47:20,556 --> 00:47:23,074
Well, if you could get in touch...
843
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,519
That was Arthur.
There's an emergency coming in in half an hour.
844
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,243
Oh, damn it.
845
00:47:33,278 --> 00:47:35,316
Then the time for thinking is past.
846
00:47:35,351 --> 00:47:37,117
Give me your answer. Will you?
847
00:47:37,152 --> 00:47:38,923
- I don't know what to say.
- Yes, or no?
848
00:47:38,958 --> 00:47:43,192
- Oh, yes! And no.
- What? What does that mean, "yes and no"?
849
00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:46,028
Yes, if you're asking me to marry you. No, if not.
850
00:47:46,063 --> 00:47:48,830
Well, I don't have to get married to prove myself.
851
00:47:48,865 --> 00:47:50,318
You do to prove yourself with me.
852
00:47:50,353 --> 00:47:53,000
How do we know
we're physically suited to each other?
853
00:47:53,035 --> 00:47:55,115
It's like do-it-yourself with a wallpaper.
854
00:47:55,150 --> 00:47:58,198
- Wallpaper?
- You don't just buy enough for the whole room.
855
00:47:58,233 --> 00:48:00,032
You tear yourself off a little strip
856
00:48:00,067 --> 00:48:01,837
and try it first!
857
00:48:01,872 --> 00:48:05,270
That may be so, but you're not going
to stick me up against the wall.
858
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:12,229
- Step on it, Doctor. She's pretty near.
- Don't worry. She's in good hands.
859
00:48:12,264 --> 00:48:13,559
Even got a nurse.
860
00:48:13,594 --> 00:48:16,638
Good luck, darling.
I'll be along as soon as I can park the au pair.
861
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:20,154
She won't stay in the house alone at night,
you see?
862
00:48:20,189 --> 00:48:22,196
Right. Let's go.
863
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:25,595
Bye!
864
00:48:31,720 --> 00:48:33,216
OK, darling?
865
00:48:33,251 --> 00:48:34,713
OK, darling.
866
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,759
- Is it bad, Miss Darling?
- Oh, yes.
867
00:48:48,794 --> 00:48:51,553
I can give you a jab to kill it for a bit, if you like.
868
00:48:51,588 --> 00:48:53,561
- Yes, please, Doctor.
- Right.
869
00:48:53,596 --> 00:48:55,830
Nurse, in that case there, you'll find a hypo.
870
00:48:55,865 --> 00:48:57,876
- A what?
- A hypodermic.
871
00:48:57,911 --> 00:48:58,995
Oh.
872
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:05,154
- This thing?
- Yes. Fill it from the bottle labelled pethidine.
873
00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:08,834
Take it easy. It won't be long now, Miss Darling.
874
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,315
- Hurry up, Nurse.
- I'm coming.
875
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,641
Oh! You idiot!
876
00:49:17,676 --> 00:49:20,016
You've given me the lot.
877
00:49:20,051 --> 00:49:22,321
Quickly! Do something!
878
00:49:22,356 --> 00:49:24,192
Yes, miss. Right away, miss.
879
00:49:24,227 --> 00:49:26,029
Not to him. Me!
880
00:49:26,064 --> 00:49:27,831
It's coming!
881
00:49:27,866 --> 00:49:29,603
Oh, no!
882
00:49:29,638 --> 00:49:34,430
No, I do not believe in free love. And what's
more, I think it's very insulting of you to ask me.
883
00:49:34,465 --> 00:49:36,750
You don't believe in paying for it, do you?
884
00:49:36,785 --> 00:49:38,682
I don't want to hear any more,
885
00:49:38,717 --> 00:49:42,270
and I think you'd better go
before you say something you may regret.
886
00:49:42,305 --> 00:49:45,203
I know what it is.
887
00:49:45,238 --> 00:49:48,312
There's someone else, isn't there?
You've got a lover already.
888
00:49:48,347 --> 00:49:50,321
- Haven't you?
- Certainly not!
889
00:49:50,356 --> 00:49:54,513
It's just that I'm a simple woman
with simple tastes and I want to be wooed.
890
00:49:54,548 --> 00:49:57,650
Ooh, you can be as wooed as you like with me.
- Oh, no.
891
00:49:57,685 --> 00:50:00,753
You don't understand.
I want to be made a fuss of.
892
00:50:00,788 --> 00:50:03,991
I want to be given chocolates and flowers.
893
00:50:04,026 --> 00:50:05,797
Oh, well, here you are.
894
00:50:05,832 --> 00:50:10,391
I'll buy you a packet of Fruit & Nut tomorrow.
Now, come on. Stop messing about.
895
00:50:10,426 --> 00:50:12,401
I didn't think it was possible
896
00:50:12,436 --> 00:50:18,550
that someone could go down to the depths
that you've gone in this pernicious manner.
897
00:50:18,585 --> 00:50:20,561
I'm only flesh and blood!
898
00:50:20,596 --> 00:50:23,274
I'm tingling like a beast, aflame with passion.
899
00:50:23,309 --> 00:50:25,714
Burning with desire.
900
00:50:25,749 --> 00:50:28,877
I'm bur... Here, I told you I was hot stuff, didn't I?
901
00:50:28,912 --> 00:50:30,802
Oh! The wardrobe's on fire!
902
00:50:30,837 --> 00:50:33,593
All right, all right, don't panic. I'll see to it.
903
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,796
Stand well back, Matron.
Now, then, don't panic. It'll be all right.
904
00:50:42,831 --> 00:50:45,394
Now, then. Here we go, you see?
905
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:48,238
Don't worry, I'll soon have it out.
906
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,601
You Jezebel!
907
00:50:52,636 --> 00:50:55,563
Bernard, I can explain!
908
00:50:55,598 --> 00:50:57,681
- Now, look...
- Listen, they just phoned.
909
00:50:57,716 --> 00:51:01,031
Here's the message,
Jane Darling has gone to Finisham Hospital.
910
00:51:01,066 --> 00:51:04,043
I can't help that. I tell you, she's not here yet.
911
00:51:04,078 --> 00:51:08,233
- It's true. We were just watching television.
- In the wardrobe? The indignity of it.
912
00:51:08,268 --> 00:51:12,199
- I'll never be able to hold up my head again.
- Sir Bernard, Matron, come quick.
913
00:51:12,234 --> 00:51:14,032
Hey, come on, Dick.
914
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,379
Prodd! Good gracious!
915
00:51:17,414 --> 00:51:19,403
What happened to him?
916
00:51:19,438 --> 00:51:22,353
Don't ask me, sir. We just found him like that
when we opened up.
917
00:51:22,388 --> 00:51:24,396
- He's drunk.
- That's not all, sir.
918
00:51:24,431 --> 00:51:26,436
Take a look inside.
919
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:29,920
Triplets!
920
00:51:29,955 --> 00:51:34,989
- Nurse, did you?
- She did. And she was absolutely wonderful.
921
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,076
Three little darlings.
922
00:51:38,111 --> 00:51:39,991
Three Darlings...
923
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:46,477
Right. This is the storeroom where they keep
all the stuff, down in the basement here.
924
00:51:46,512 --> 00:51:49,233
Oh, yeah?
Where do they have all the babies, then?
925
00:51:49,268 --> 00:51:51,640
Up in the ward, stupid. Where do you think?
926
00:51:51,675 --> 00:51:54,832
Well, it doesn't always follow.
My mum had me on top of a bus.
927
00:51:54,867 --> 00:51:57,649
I'm glad he told us that. It makes the job easier.
928
00:51:57,684 --> 00:52:00,432
Number 73.
Bang in the middle of Brixton high street.
929
00:52:00,467 --> 00:52:03,090
All right, all right. So you're a born traveller.
930
00:52:03,125 --> 00:52:05,679
Now, will you shut up for a minute and listen?
931
00:52:05,714 --> 00:52:09,076
Now, as far as I can see, the only way
we can get into the basement here
932
00:52:09,111 --> 00:52:11,037
is through the front door of the hospital.
933
00:52:11,072 --> 00:52:12,678
- That can't be right.
- Why not?
934
00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:14,113
No. 73 doesn't go to Brixton.
935
00:52:14,148 --> 00:52:15,723
Oh, cor blimey...
936
00:52:15,758 --> 00:52:17,363
- It does.
- It does not.
937
00:52:17,398 --> 00:52:19,913
It goes from Marble Arch
out to Putney and Wimbledon.
938
00:52:19,948 --> 00:52:23,271
- It can't do, else how was I born in Brixton?
- Oh, shut up.
939
00:52:23,306 --> 00:52:25,151
I ought to know where I was born.
940
00:52:25,186 --> 00:52:26,996
I don't care where you were born!
941
00:52:27,031 --> 00:52:28,797
It's bad enough it happened.
942
00:52:28,832 --> 00:52:30,956
We've got more important things to talk about.
943
00:52:30,991 --> 00:52:33,315
Now, then, as far as I can see, we...
944
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:37,516
- You're both wrong. The 73 goes to Holloway.
- It does not.
945
00:52:37,551 --> 00:52:41,758
I ought to know. I used to catch it on the way
to visit the old woman when she was in the nick.
946
00:52:41,793 --> 00:52:45,559
- You're thinking of the 116.
- I am not thinking of the 116.
947
00:52:45,594 --> 00:52:48,752
It goes down to Balls Pond Road,
and then turns left into Islington.
948
00:52:48,787 --> 00:52:51,513
- What are you on about?
- After Putney it goes to Wimbledon.
949
00:52:51,548 --> 00:52:53,830
What a load of rubbish. It goes...
950
00:52:53,865 --> 00:52:54,989
The fuzz!
951
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,561
Wait a minute. Wait.
952
00:52:58,596 --> 00:53:01,717
What are we doing?
We're not wanted for anything yet.
953
00:53:01,752 --> 00:53:04,030
- Oh, yeah. That's right.
- See who it is.
954
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:11,718
Papers.
955
00:53:11,753 --> 00:53:13,512
It's only the papers.
956
00:53:13,547 --> 00:53:15,556
All right, then.
957
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,553
Here, there's a picture of Cyril on the front page.
958
00:53:20,588 --> 00:53:23,154
Let me see.
959
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,642
Oh, no.
960
00:53:27,677 --> 00:53:29,716
There's one in this one, too.
961
00:53:29,751 --> 00:53:31,323
Let's have a look.
962
00:53:31,358 --> 00:53:34,591
- Oh, yeah. It's a good likeness, innit?
- Yeah. Great.
963
00:53:34,626 --> 00:53:37,148
Something happened
to the doctor in the ambulance.
964
00:53:37,183 --> 00:53:38,957
Blimey, Cyril delivered the babies.
965
00:53:38,992 --> 00:53:42,074
It just shows you what a good education
can do for you, doesn't it?
966
00:53:42,109 --> 00:53:45,157
- Fancy, old Cyril an heroine.
- Do you think he'll get a medal?
967
00:53:45,192 --> 00:53:47,253
He'll get a kick up the backside.
968
00:53:47,288 --> 00:53:49,315
Well, I only asked. What's he done?
969
00:53:49,350 --> 00:53:51,117
What's he done?
970
00:53:51,152 --> 00:53:53,673
He's just about ruined the whole thing,
that's what.
971
00:53:53,708 --> 00:53:57,328
Take it easy, I said.
Don't do anything that'll draw attention to you.
972
00:53:57,363 --> 00:54:00,949
He couldn't have drawn more bloody attention
if he'd had the kids himself!
973
00:54:00,984 --> 00:54:02,678
I've got to get down there.
974
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:10,789
Well, Mrs Tidey. Another false alarm, I see.
975
00:54:10,824 --> 00:54:12,403
Afraid so, Matron.
976
00:54:12,438 --> 00:54:16,035
Do you know what I think?
All that talk of injecting me put him off.
977
00:54:16,070 --> 00:54:17,154
Possibly.
978
00:54:17,189 --> 00:54:21,273
Still, it's nice to be back. I don't like that
delivery room. It's not very comfortable.
979
00:54:21,308 --> 00:54:23,759
It isn't meant for comfort, Mrs Tidey.
980
00:54:23,794 --> 00:54:27,055
Well, it looks as if we'll have to try
something else, doesn't it?
981
00:54:27,090 --> 00:54:30,317
Now you mention it, I wouldn't mind
some sausages and tomatoes.
982
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:51,936
Yeah...
983
00:54:51,971 --> 00:54:53,398
Cor...
984
00:54:53,433 --> 00:54:55,795
What is it? Quick, tell me. What's she had?
985
00:54:55,830 --> 00:54:58,235
Bacon and egg and fried potatoes.
986
00:54:58,270 --> 00:54:59,843
- Eh?
- So far.
987
00:54:59,878 --> 00:55:01,881
What? Hasn't she? Hasn't she had the?
988
00:55:01,916 --> 00:55:06,278
No, I'm afraid not, Mr Tidey.
You may as well go back to your trains.
989
00:55:06,313 --> 00:55:08,395
What, again? I can't do that.
990
00:55:08,430 --> 00:55:11,239
What'll my mates say?
I shall be a laughing stock.
991
00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:13,837
Well, in your job, you should be used to that.
992
00:55:13,872 --> 00:55:16,400
I've got to be back at work on Monday,
you know.
993
00:55:16,435 --> 00:55:18,322
We're starting another strike then.
994
00:55:18,357 --> 00:55:23,389
Really? Well, if it hasn't arrived by then,
I think I might join you.
995
00:55:23,424 --> 00:55:25,197
Now, look here.
996
00:55:25,232 --> 00:55:28,118
I'm not budging from here until she's had it
and that's it.
997
00:55:28,153 --> 00:55:32,153
Well, please yourself, Mr Tidey,
but there's nothing more we can do about it.
998
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:35,356
Dynamite, that's what she needs.
999
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:38,603
Give her dynamite!
1000
00:55:38,638 --> 00:55:41,518
- Morning, Arthur.
- Morning, Sir Bernard.
1001
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,199
- Sir Bernard.
- Yes, what is it, Matron?
1002
00:55:45,234 --> 00:55:47,674
I'd like to apologise
for what happened in my room.
1003
00:55:47,709 --> 00:55:52,874
Matron, if you're worried that I might be
considering disciplinary action, you needn't be.
1004
00:55:52,909 --> 00:55:54,677
We're all mature, adult people,
1005
00:55:54,712 --> 00:55:58,679
and whatever goes on between you
and Dr Goode is no concern of mine,
1006
00:55:58,714 --> 00:56:01,523
however disgusting it may be!
1007
00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:04,403
Nothing goes on. We're just good friends.
1008
00:56:04,438 --> 00:56:07,455
Good fr... I know all about good friends.
I had one at school.
1009
00:56:07,490 --> 00:56:10,437
She was the groundsman's daughter,
but never got off the ground.
1010
00:56:10,472 --> 00:56:15,076
That is a very uncalled-for remark, Sir Bernard,
and I shall expect an apology.
1011
00:56:15,111 --> 00:56:17,798
It isn't all you're expecting, I shouldn't wonder.
1012
00:56:17,833 --> 00:56:22,391
Very well, Sir Bernard. But don't come to me
again when you want to prove yourself.
1013
00:56:22,426 --> 00:56:26,473
I am a woman, not a do-it-yourself kit!
1014
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,195
Good morning, Doctor.
1015
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,601
Have a bad night?
1016
00:56:40,636 --> 00:56:42,437
No, thanks. I've just had one.
1017
00:56:42,472 --> 00:56:45,836
Just exactly what did you do
to my roommate last night?
1018
00:56:45,871 --> 00:56:48,434
- Your roommate?
- Yes. Nurse Carter.
1019
00:56:48,469 --> 00:56:50,441
What did I do to her?
1020
00:56:50,476 --> 00:56:54,394
Yes. Well, she hasn't been back to the room
all night. She's just disappeared.
1021
00:56:54,429 --> 00:56:57,836
- That's the best news I've heard today.
- I hope she's all right.
1022
00:56:57,871 --> 00:56:59,921
I'm supposed to be looking after her.
1023
00:56:59,956 --> 00:57:02,679
Believe me, Nurse Ball.
That girl can look after herself.
1024
00:57:02,714 --> 00:57:04,914
Have you done Mrs Brown's specimen?
1025
00:57:04,949 --> 00:57:07,052
- What?
- Mrs Brown's specimen!
1026
00:57:07,087 --> 00:57:09,156
Eurgh! It's done. Take it away.
1027
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,311
Send in the first patient, please.
1028
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,198
Morning, Doctor.
1029
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:27,390
Oh. Mrs Tucker, isn't it?
Do sit down, Mrs Tucker.
1030
00:57:27,425 --> 00:57:29,436
Thank you, Doctor.
1031
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,400
Now, what's your problem?
1032
00:57:33,435 --> 00:57:36,159
Well, I came to see you three months ago,
if you remember,
1033
00:57:36,194 --> 00:57:37,763
because I was going to get married
1034
00:57:37,798 --> 00:57:40,713
and I was worried about my husband
being able to have a baby.
1035
00:57:40,748 --> 00:57:44,395
- Yes, that's right. He was a bit older than you.
- 88.
1036
00:57:44,430 --> 00:57:46,640
Yes. And?
1037
00:57:46,675 --> 00:57:51,788
Well, if you remember, you suggested it might
be a good idea if I were to take in a lodger.
1038
00:57:51,823 --> 00:57:54,186
You know, someone a little nearer my own age.
1039
00:57:54,221 --> 00:57:56,549
Yes. But purely off the record, of course.
1040
00:57:56,584 --> 00:57:58,357
Well, it worked. I'm pregnant.
1041
00:57:58,392 --> 00:58:02,109
- Really? What about your husband?
- Oh, he's tickled pink.
1042
00:58:02,144 --> 00:58:05,510
Oh. That's all right, then. What about the lodger?
1043
00:58:05,545 --> 00:58:07,238
Well, that's the trouble.
1044
00:58:07,273 --> 00:58:09,276
She's pregnant, too.
1045
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,990
Nurse Carter, I've been worried about you.
Where have you been?
1046
00:58:14,025 --> 00:58:16,081
Fast asleep in the sluice room, Matron.
1047
00:58:16,116 --> 00:58:18,804
I couldn't stand the fuss last night.
I had to get away.
1048
00:58:18,839 --> 00:58:22,434
But you acted splendidly, my dear.
We're all very proud of you.
1049
00:58:22,469 --> 00:58:25,711
Matron, I don't think I'm cut out
to be a nurse. I want to pack it in.
1050
00:58:25,746 --> 00:58:28,484
Nonsense. You're just tired.
You take the day off.
1051
00:58:28,519 --> 00:58:31,672
Have a nice rest,
and tomorrow you'll feel differently about it.
1052
00:58:31,707 --> 00:58:33,477
- Oh, no, I won't.
- Take it from me.
1053
00:58:33,512 --> 00:58:36,125
I've had hundreds of capable nurses
through my hands
1054
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,676
and you have that extra little something
the others haven't got.
1055
00:58:39,711 --> 00:58:40,999
How did you know?
1056
00:58:41,034 --> 00:58:43,599
Excuse me,
but the dispensary's out of Penbritin.
1057
00:58:43,634 --> 00:58:46,358
I shall go to my room, get the key
and meet you in the store.
1058
00:58:46,393 --> 00:58:49,995
Nurse Ball, take Nurse Carter to your room
and put her to bed immediately.
1059
00:58:50,030 --> 00:58:52,001
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yes. Do as I say.
1060
00:58:52,036 --> 00:58:55,157
Come along, Matron's pet. Let's go to bye-byes.
1061
00:58:58,560 --> 00:59:00,516
I think I can manage from here, thank you.
1062
00:59:00,551 --> 00:59:02,123
I may as well see you into bed.
1063
00:59:02,158 --> 00:59:04,196
No. I'd rather be alone, if you don't mind.
1064
00:59:04,231 --> 00:59:06,430
- Please yourself.
- Thank you.
1065
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:12,872
I don't believe it!
1066
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:27,393
I just couldn't go without making sure
you were OK.
1067
00:59:27,428 --> 00:59:28,798
Perfectly, thank you.
1068
00:59:28,833 --> 00:59:31,798
You fell right on your chest.
I hope you didn't do it any damage.
1069
00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:33,836
Oh, no. It's fine, rea...
1070
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:39,714
Oh, good. Well, now I'm here,
I might as well help you get undressed.
1071
00:59:39,749 --> 00:59:42,040
- I can manage by myself, thanks.
- Don't be silly.
1072
00:59:42,075 --> 00:59:45,550
- Honestly, I don't need help.
- Good heavens. What are you worried about?
1073
00:59:45,585 --> 00:59:47,596
As a nurse, I've had to undress plenty of men.
1074
00:59:47,631 --> 00:59:50,792
I dare say, but that's beside the point.
Some people...
1075
00:59:50,827 --> 00:59:52,597
You said men.
1076
00:59:52,632 --> 00:59:54,482
You know, then? But how?
1077
00:59:54,517 --> 00:59:59,720
When you tripped on the stairs just now,
I saw something that left no doubt at all.
1078
00:59:59,755 --> 01:00:02,155
Oh, well, that's it, then, isn't it?
1079
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:07,916
I've met some pretty kinky nurses in my time,
but never one who wore striped shorts.
1080
01:00:07,951 --> 01:00:11,629
Oh! I pinched those last night
when I split the black lace ones.
1081
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:16,041
Black lace... I'd love to have seen that.
1082
01:00:16,076 --> 01:00:18,799
I don't have to bother with this damn thing
any more.
1083
01:00:18,834 --> 01:00:22,076
Oh, that's much better.
1084
01:00:22,111 --> 01:00:25,202
You know, you're really quite dishy.
1085
01:00:25,237 --> 01:00:27,594
I bet you say that
to all the female impersonators.
1086
01:00:27,629 --> 01:00:32,236
Would you mind telling me, why the hell
did you do it? For a bet, or something?
1087
01:00:32,271 --> 01:00:34,480
- No, nothing like that.
- Oh, I see.
1088
01:00:34,515 --> 01:00:37,956
You just felt the urge to become a nurse
and deliver a few kids, eh?
1089
01:00:37,991 --> 01:00:39,757
No. I didn't know that would happen.
1090
01:00:39,792 --> 01:00:44,271
Well, why then? We are roommates,
and roommates ought not to have secrets.
1091
01:00:44,306 --> 01:00:46,043
You won't like it if I tell you.
1092
01:00:46,078 --> 01:00:49,311
- Well, I'm not forcing you to.
- Oh, no. Please, don't go.
1093
01:00:49,346 --> 01:00:51,321
I'd like you to know.
1094
01:00:51,356 --> 01:00:54,079
You see, it all started...
1095
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:04,194
How do you do? I wonder if you could tell me
where I could find Nurse Carter.
1096
01:01:04,229 --> 01:01:05,770
Are you from the press?
1097
01:01:05,805 --> 01:01:07,277
Oh, no. I'm his father.
1098
01:01:07,312 --> 01:01:09,914
Er... she's my son. My... my daughter.
1099
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:13,594
I've got so many kids, it gets confusing.
1100
01:01:13,629 --> 01:01:17,952
Well, Mr Carter, she's resting at the moment.
She had a very hard night.
1101
01:01:17,987 --> 01:01:22,276
Yes, I know. But I'm sure she'd like to see me.
Just for a few minutes.
1102
01:01:22,311 --> 01:01:24,692
Well, since you're her father.
1103
01:01:24,727 --> 01:01:26,819
She's at No. 16, the nurses' home.
1104
01:01:26,854 --> 01:01:28,912
That's outside and turn right.
1105
01:01:28,947 --> 01:01:30,319
Thank you.
1106
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:41,351
Mrs Kemp, what was Mr Hodgkiss doing here?
1107
01:01:41,386 --> 01:01:43,361
Mr Hodgkiss, Matron?
1108
01:01:43,396 --> 01:01:45,401
Yes. The man who just went out.
1109
01:01:45,436 --> 01:01:48,990
Oh, that wasn't Mr Hodgkiss, Matron.
That was Mr Carter.
1110
01:01:49,025 --> 01:01:51,306
Nurse Carter's father.
1111
01:01:51,341 --> 01:01:53,588
I could have sworn that...
1112
01:01:53,623 --> 01:01:55,601
What did he want?
1113
01:01:55,636 --> 01:01:57,576
To see his daughter, I think.
1114
01:01:57,611 --> 01:01:59,516
I sent him to the nurses' home.
1115
01:01:59,551 --> 01:02:01,521
Did you?
1116
01:02:01,556 --> 01:02:03,790
There's something funny going on here.
1117
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:09,378
I told you you wouldn't like it.
1118
01:02:09,413 --> 01:02:11,962
You, a crook? I don't believe it.
1119
01:02:11,997 --> 01:02:15,959
I'm not a proper one. It's my first go at it, actually.
I only did it to please my dad.
1120
01:02:15,994 --> 01:02:20,352
- To pinch pills? But that's ridiculous!
- Yeah. I agree. It's stupid.
1121
01:02:20,387 --> 01:02:22,351
You'll have to tell them, I suppose.
1122
01:02:22,386 --> 01:02:24,361
Well, yes. I suppose I should.
1123
01:02:24,396 --> 01:02:27,711
But... I don't know,
I just don't think they'd believe it.
1124
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:30,801
Well, I'd better get back to work.
1125
01:02:30,836 --> 01:02:33,240
- You mean you're not going to?
- Not going to what?
1126
01:02:33,275 --> 01:02:37,353
- Tell them about me and what I'm doing here.
- What about you? What are you doing here?
1127
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,874
You're lovely. Do you know that?
1128
01:02:40,909 --> 01:02:43,028
Ah... you're not so bad yourself.
1129
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:45,444
What was that for?
1130
01:02:45,479 --> 01:02:48,996
For being kind enough not to undo my bra
when I asked you to yesterday.
1131
01:02:49,031 --> 01:02:50,832
I'm glad you brought that up.
1132
01:02:50,867 --> 01:02:52,876
Here, stop it.
1133
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:07,913
Excuse me.
1134
01:03:07,948 --> 01:03:08,954
Uh!
1135
01:03:08,989 --> 01:03:11,230
Cor blimey!
1136
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:14,316
- Dad.
- Cyril.
1137
01:03:14,351 --> 01:03:16,493
This is my roommate Susan.
1138
01:03:16,528 --> 01:03:18,636
- Oh, hello.
- How do you do?
1139
01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:22,000
Is that who you were
worried about sharing with?
1140
01:03:22,035 --> 01:03:24,588
- Yeah. That's right.
- I sent you to the wrong school.
1141
01:03:24,623 --> 01:03:27,194
Will you excuse me? I've got to get back.
1142
01:03:27,229 --> 01:03:29,201
What do you think you're doing?
1143
01:03:29,236 --> 01:03:31,241
Kissing nurses. And without your wig on.
1144
01:03:31,276 --> 01:03:34,374
- You might have given yourself away.
- She knows all about it.
1145
01:03:34,409 --> 01:03:37,438
I know. They all do these day...
You mean, she knows about us?
1146
01:03:37,473 --> 01:03:40,791
- Yeah. But she won't tell anyone.
- That's it. We've got to do it tonight.
1147
01:03:40,826 --> 01:03:44,121
- You're still going through with it?
- Of course I am!
1148
01:03:44,156 --> 01:03:47,471
- Don't expect any help from me.
- Now, son. Son, don't let me down.
1149
01:03:47,506 --> 01:03:48,958
We need you to get us in.
1150
01:03:48,993 --> 01:03:51,354
- No, I'm sorry, Dad...
- You promised your mum.
1151
01:03:51,389 --> 01:03:55,314
- Now, look, Dad.
- Gertie... if you're listening to your son now,
1152
01:03:55,349 --> 01:03:57,321
plug up your ear holes.
1153
01:03:57,356 --> 01:03:59,829
It's too late. Do you hear that noise?
1154
01:03:59,864 --> 01:04:02,070
She's turning in her grave.
1155
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:06,403
- All right. All right, Dad, I'll do it.
- Good boy.
1156
01:04:06,438 --> 01:04:09,990
- Just tell me what you want me to do.
- Stop doing that, for a start.
1157
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:18,198
- We'll be here at 11 o'clock sharp. Got that?
- Yes.
1158
01:04:18,233 --> 01:04:21,153
We don't want any more slip-ups,
so please try and be careful.
1159
01:04:21,188 --> 01:04:22,797
How did that nurse get on to you?
1160
01:04:22,832 --> 01:04:25,115
She saw these pants
when I tripped on the stairs.
1161
01:04:25,150 --> 01:04:28,357
- We can't risk that. You'll have to take 'em off.
- What?
1162
01:04:28,392 --> 01:04:30,396
- Take your pants off.
- Oh, no.
1163
01:04:30,431 --> 01:04:32,401
Get 'em off!
1164
01:04:32,436 --> 01:04:36,115
What's going on in there?
Open this door at once!
1165
01:04:36,150 --> 01:04:38,235
- That's Matron!
- I'd better get out.
1166
01:04:38,270 --> 01:04:40,813
- That's the loo.
Nurse Carter, are you all right?
1167
01:04:40,848 --> 01:04:42,843
- Yes!
- Open this door at once.
1168
01:04:42,878 --> 01:04:44,839
I know there's a man in there.
1169
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:48,793
Let her in.
1170
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,361
Oh! Oh, you poor child.
1171
01:05:00,396 --> 01:05:02,835
Where is he? Where is the filthy beast?
1172
01:05:02,870 --> 01:05:03,585
Oh!
1173
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:12,198
Come back, you monster!
1174
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,030
Come back!
1175
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:22,034
Ooh!
1176
01:05:22,069 --> 01:05:24,990
- Shh. It's all right. Don't scream.
- What do you want?
1177
01:05:25,025 --> 01:05:27,912
Well, that's very nice of you,
but I haven't got the time.
1178
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:33,038
Oh...
1179
01:05:33,073 --> 01:05:35,116
All right, Nurse. Don't worry.
1180
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:46,036
Oh...
1181
01:05:46,071 --> 01:05:48,116
Come back!
1182
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:53,083
Come back. I want you!
1183
01:05:53,118 --> 01:05:56,795
My God! She's a sex maniac!
1184
01:05:56,830 --> 01:05:57,545
Go!
1185
01:06:04,280 --> 01:06:06,475
Good heavens, that's what's wrong with me.
1186
01:06:06,510 --> 01:06:07,879
I love her.
1187
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:14,710
Miss Banks,
I want to see Dr Goode immediately.
1188
01:06:14,745 --> 01:06:18,076
Dr Goode, Psychiatry. Can I help you?
1189
01:06:18,111 --> 01:06:20,354
Oh, Miss Banks. Does he?
1190
01:06:20,389 --> 01:06:22,598
Come in.
1191
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:26,359
Ah, Goode, my dear chap.
1192
01:06:26,394 --> 01:06:30,598
Come in and close the door, will you, old boy?
1193
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:33,443
You wanted to see me about something.
1194
01:06:33,478 --> 01:06:37,439
Yes. And don't pretend
you don't know what it is, you filthy beast!
1195
01:06:37,474 --> 01:06:38,554
What?
1196
01:06:38,589 --> 01:06:45,313
Don't try and deny it. I know what's been
going on between you and Matron, in her room,
1197
01:06:45,348 --> 01:06:49,211
every night, bouncing about together
like a pair of Ping-Pong balls.
1198
01:06:49,246 --> 01:06:54,041
I beg your pardon! We've never had
so much as an ounce of a bounce.
1199
01:06:54,076 --> 01:06:58,837
Don't expect me to believe all that claptrap
about watching television.
1200
01:06:58,872 --> 01:07:01,445
The set wasn't even turned on.
1201
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,994
Oh, no. We had it off before you came in.
1202
01:07:04,029 --> 01:07:06,799
Aha! So you admit it, then?
1203
01:07:06,834 --> 01:07:08,801
Certainly not!
1204
01:07:08,836 --> 01:07:11,150
I've never felt about Matron in that way.
1205
01:07:11,185 --> 01:07:13,321
But now you come to mention it...
1206
01:07:13,356 --> 01:07:18,673
Aha! I'll get the truth,
if I have to beat it out of you, you swine!
1207
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:21,538
Oh, no. No.
1208
01:07:21,573 --> 01:07:23,321
Sir Bernard...
1209
01:07:23,356 --> 01:07:25,396
Sir Bernard, no! No!
1210
01:07:25,431 --> 01:07:27,401
Help! Help!
1211
01:07:27,436 --> 01:07:30,158
- Oh!
- I think Sir Bernard's upset about something.
1212
01:07:30,193 --> 01:07:33,362
- I'll kill him, do you hear? I'll kill him!
- Please. You mustn't.
1213
01:07:33,397 --> 01:07:36,756
- Get out of my way, Miss Banks.
- I can't let you. Think of the scandal.
1214
01:07:36,791 --> 01:07:38,796
- Get out of my way!
- Argh!
1215
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:42,338
Now, for the last time, will you admit it?
1216
01:07:42,373 --> 01:07:44,604
I've never even touched her, I swear it!
1217
01:07:44,639 --> 01:07:46,801
Liar and lecher. Admit it! Admit it!
1218
01:07:46,836 --> 01:07:50,310
I'm telling the truth. I swear it. Newt's honour.
1219
01:07:50,345 --> 01:07:52,321
You're a Newt?
1220
01:07:52,356 --> 01:07:56,353
Yes. I've been Master of the Grand Order
of Newts for five years.
1221
01:07:56,388 --> 01:07:57,963
Really?
1222
01:07:57,998 --> 01:08:01,516
Of course.
And I was a Tadpole for three years before that.
1223
01:08:01,551 --> 01:08:03,521
But this is splendid.
1224
01:08:03,556 --> 01:08:06,257
What pond do you belong to?
1225
01:08:06,292 --> 01:08:08,644
Wapping and Old Stairs.
1226
01:08:08,679 --> 01:08:10,961
- Really?
- Yes.
1227
01:08:10,996 --> 01:08:16,234
I am a Grand Salamander Newt
of the Watford pond.
1228
01:08:16,269 --> 01:08:17,434
You're not!
1229
01:08:17,469 --> 01:08:19,312
- Glub glub.
- Glub glub.
1230
01:08:19,347 --> 01:08:20,514
We swear
1231
01:08:20,549 --> 01:08:24,519
to uphold the noble code
of the Grand Order of Newts...
1232
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:35,074
Now, come on, Mrs Tidey. Let's get to sleep.
1233
01:08:35,109 --> 01:08:37,081
But I'm still hungry.
1234
01:08:37,116 --> 01:08:40,670
It's not good to go to sleep
on an empty stomach.
1235
01:08:40,705 --> 01:08:43,603
Well, I'd hardly call yours empty, Mrs Tidey.
1236
01:08:43,638 --> 01:08:47,554
She's had two of everything for supper, Matron.
And two mugs of cocoa.
1237
01:08:47,589 --> 01:08:51,713
Well, we can't let her go to sleep hungry,
can we, Sister?
1238
01:08:51,748 --> 01:08:55,793
What about a nice big glass of... castor oil?
1239
01:08:55,828 --> 01:08:57,472
Good night.
1240
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:29,681
I'm going up to my room now, Arthur.
1241
01:09:29,716 --> 01:09:32,075
It should be a quiet night.
Nothing on the books.
1242
01:09:32,110 --> 01:09:34,116
I hope so, after last night.
1243
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,323
Who is it?
1244
01:09:41,358 --> 01:09:42,919
It's me, Susan.
1245
01:09:46,560 --> 01:09:48,790
Here you are. I think they're dry enough.
1246
01:09:48,825 --> 01:09:50,198
Thanks a lot.
1247
01:09:50,233 --> 01:09:53,596
Next time, be more choosy
about which nurse you have a bath with.
1248
01:09:53,631 --> 01:09:55,601
They smell something awful.
1249
01:09:55,636 --> 01:09:59,554
- I didn't notice what she smelt like.
- No. You were too busy looking.
1250
01:09:59,589 --> 01:10:01,596
Oh, go on. Go and get changed.
1251
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:07,156
Here, do you know something?
I don't know what your name is.
1252
01:10:07,191 --> 01:10:08,798
What is it really?
1253
01:10:08,833 --> 01:10:10,403
Cyril.
1254
01:10:10,438 --> 01:10:13,253
Oh, dear. Well, I suppose I'll get used to it.
1255
01:10:13,288 --> 01:10:16,068
Does that mean
you want to see me again, then?
1256
01:10:16,103 --> 01:10:18,230
Well, that all depends on you, doesn't it?
1257
01:10:18,265 --> 01:10:19,843
You know I want to see you.
1258
01:10:19,878 --> 01:10:23,509
That's all very well,
but I don't fancy being a gangster's moll.
1259
01:10:23,544 --> 01:10:26,433
I've told you. Honestly. I'm going to pack it all in.
1260
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,909
All right, Nurse. It's a deal.
1261
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:41,055
How's the time?
1262
01:10:41,090 --> 01:10:42,756
Two minutes to.
1263
01:10:42,791 --> 01:10:45,235
Drive in slowly, and park.
1264
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:01,909
Dad, wait a minute! Listen! Dad!
1265
01:11:01,944 --> 01:11:02,909
Dad!
1266
01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:05,761
- Everything OK?
- No.
1267
01:11:05,796 --> 01:11:07,801
Prodd's hanging around the entrance hall.
1268
01:11:07,836 --> 01:11:11,390
- Is that the one who tried to get matey?
- Yes. That's what I'm worried about.
1269
01:11:11,425 --> 01:11:13,083
- Get him out here.
- Me? How?
1270
01:11:13,118 --> 01:11:15,589
You're a woman, aren't you? Flash 'em.
1271
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:18,073
Dad...
1272
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:21,281
You seem a bit down tonight, doc.
1273
01:11:21,316 --> 01:11:25,154
You'd be down, too, if you'd had 50ccs
of pethidine up your archipelago.
1274
01:11:25,189 --> 01:11:27,116
Hey, talking about that,
1275
01:11:27,151 --> 01:11:29,470
- here comes our little heroine.
- Oh, no.
1276
01:11:29,505 --> 01:11:31,481
Oh, Dr Prodd,
1277
01:11:31,516 --> 01:11:33,833
I wanted to apologise for what I did last night.
1278
01:11:33,868 --> 01:11:36,116
It's all right. It only hurts when I sit down.
1279
01:11:36,151 --> 01:11:39,312
You've been so sweet about it,
I feel I owe you something in return.
1280
01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:41,958
Well, if you put it like that...
1281
01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:43,563
What had you in mind?
1282
01:11:43,598 --> 01:11:45,636
I was wondering whether you'd like to see...
1283
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:48,124
me back to the nurses' home.
1284
01:11:48,159 --> 01:11:50,708
Yes, I think I could just about manage it.
1285
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:52,909
Standing up.
1286
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:02,830
I don't know what it is about a maternity hospital,
but they're all at it.
1287
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:11,761
- Just a minute.
- What's the matter?
1288
01:12:11,796 --> 01:12:13,757
- I've got something for you.
- What is it?
1289
01:12:13,792 --> 01:12:15,592
A little surprise. Close your eyes.
1290
01:12:15,627 --> 01:12:17,033
Let me have it.
1291
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,910
All right. That's it. Get Ernie.
1292
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:37,995
All right, Ernie, this is it. Out you get.
1293
01:12:38,030 --> 01:12:40,998
- Well, come on. Jump.
- I can't jump in my condition.
1294
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,679
- Bag.
- And you.
1295
01:12:43,714 --> 01:12:45,413
- Get the bag.
- Sh!
1296
01:12:45,448 --> 01:12:47,077
- Nurse.
- Get the bag!
1297
01:12:47,112 --> 01:12:49,953
Pregnant and I've got to carry my own bag.
Cop hold of that.
1298
01:12:49,988 --> 01:12:51,553
Watch it. Just watch it.
1299
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:54,876
Hold it. Careful. Careful.
1300
01:12:54,911 --> 01:12:56,881
It won't be long now.
1301
01:12:56,916 --> 01:12:59,275
- You show the way?
- Straight to the lift, Dad...
1302
01:12:59,310 --> 01:13:00,873
- Doctor.
- Thank you.
1303
01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:07,475
- Hey, what is all this?
- I er... It is all right.
1304
01:13:07,510 --> 01:13:09,291
I am Doctor... Zhivago.
1305
01:13:09,326 --> 01:13:11,037
I have here an emergency.
1306
01:13:11,072 --> 01:13:13,355
Oh. Are they expecting you, Doctor?
1307
01:13:13,390 --> 01:13:14,679
Expecting?
1308
01:13:14,714 --> 01:13:16,801
What do you think this is? Wind?
1309
01:13:16,836 --> 01:13:19,388
Don't you worry. The nurse knows all about it.
1310
01:13:19,423 --> 01:13:21,322
Oh, well, you're in good hands with her.
1311
01:13:21,357 --> 01:13:24,796
Jawohl. A proper little
Florence the Nightingale.
1312
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,430
Doctor Zhivago?
1313
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:39,556
What did I tell you? It worked like a charm.
1314
01:13:39,591 --> 01:13:41,561
- Cor...
- What's the matter?
1315
01:13:41,596 --> 01:13:43,397
It shows you, the power of suggestion.
1316
01:13:43,432 --> 01:13:46,522
- What are you talking about?
- I could have sworn I felt it kicking.
1317
01:13:46,557 --> 01:13:50,269
You'll feel something kicking if you don't belt up.
Come on, Freddy. Through here.
1318
01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:58,034
- We'll never pick that lock.
- Can't we blow it?
1319
01:13:58,069 --> 01:14:01,277
That's right. Wake up the whole hospital.
No. Only if we have to.
1320
01:14:01,312 --> 01:14:03,793
- Know where they keep the keys?
- Matron's got a set.
1321
01:14:03,828 --> 01:14:06,274
- Where will I find her?
- In her room on the fifth floor.
1322
01:14:06,309 --> 01:14:08,281
- You stay here with him.
- Wait a minute.
1323
01:14:08,316 --> 01:14:11,039
- What if it happens while you're gone?
- What happens?
1324
01:14:11,074 --> 01:14:12,837
Well, I mean, I...
1325
01:14:12,872 --> 01:14:15,520
I'm sorry. I keep thinking
I'm really going to have one.
1326
01:14:15,555 --> 01:14:17,556
I'll give you one in a minute.
1327
01:14:17,591 --> 01:14:18,958
Here.
1328
01:14:18,993 --> 01:14:20,433
You twerp!
1329
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:28,603
- Oh!
- Oh. Scusi, madam, scusi.
1330
01:14:28,638 --> 01:14:31,518
That's all right. But what are you doing here?
What do you want?
1331
01:14:31,553 --> 01:14:36,430
I think we are lost. We look for the um...
how you say? Removal room? No?
1332
01:14:36,465 --> 01:14:38,636
Oh, you mean the delivery room.
1333
01:14:38,671 --> 01:14:40,323
Ah, jawohl. Ja.
1334
01:14:40,358 --> 01:14:43,796
I don't know how you found your way here,
but it's on the ground floor.
1335
01:14:43,831 --> 01:14:45,677
Along there, down the stairs.
1336
01:14:45,712 --> 01:14:47,283
Ah, si. Si.
1337
01:14:47,318 --> 01:14:49,436
Grathias, mademoiselle. Grathias.
1338
01:14:49,471 --> 01:14:51,078
Enchante.
1339
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:55,518
Come, Frederico.
1340
01:14:55,553 --> 01:14:57,516
Arrivederci.
1341
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:15,518
Here, Sid...
1342
01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:18,200
- Good boy. Have you found them?
- What are we looking for?
1343
01:15:18,235 --> 01:15:19,429
Oh, knickers!
1344
01:15:20,520 --> 01:15:22,511
Here, Sid, I've found 'em.
1345
01:15:23,600 --> 01:15:24,874
Put 'em down!
1346
01:15:25,960 --> 01:15:27,188
What are we looking for?
1347
01:15:27,223 --> 01:15:29,146
Keys, you fool!
1348
01:15:29,181 --> 01:15:31,069
Oh, keys, you fool.
1349
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:44,234
Matron, it's me. May I come in?
1350
01:15:44,269 --> 01:15:46,276
It's Bernard.
1351
01:15:50,920 --> 01:15:52,035
Matron...
1352
01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:04,001
Still warm.
1353
01:16:04,036 --> 01:16:06,076
She can't be far away.
1354
01:16:06,111 --> 01:16:07,115
Oh...
1355
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,476
Oh, Matron. I've come to apologise.
1356
01:16:15,511 --> 01:16:17,798
- I misjudged you terribly.
- Oh?
1357
01:16:17,833 --> 01:16:20,798
And what's caused this sudden change,
Sir Bernard?
1358
01:16:20,833 --> 01:16:22,642
A desire to prove yourself again?
1359
01:16:22,677 --> 01:16:26,912
No, no. I was talking to Dr Goode
and he told me there was nothing between you
1360
01:16:26,947 --> 01:16:30,310
and, as a brother Newt, I believe him implicitly.
1361
01:16:30,345 --> 01:16:32,162
A brother Newt?
1362
01:16:32,197 --> 01:16:34,122
Yes. We're both Newts, you know.
1363
01:16:34,157 --> 01:16:37,630
Oh, where did you happen to meet?
In a jam jar, perhaps?
1364
01:16:37,665 --> 01:16:40,951
Oh, now, don't be like that, Matron.
1365
01:16:40,986 --> 01:16:42,961
Say you'll forgive me. Please.
1366
01:16:42,996 --> 01:16:44,763
Oh, that's all very well, Sir Bernard,
1367
01:16:44,798 --> 01:16:48,634
but the fact that you thought I could entertain
a man in my room for the purpose of...
1368
01:16:48,669 --> 01:16:52,471
- well, that sort of thing.
- What's wrong with... that sort of thing?
1369
01:16:52,506 --> 01:16:56,274
- I beg your pardon?
- When two people are attracted to each other...
1370
01:16:56,309 --> 01:16:57,883
As you are to me?
1371
01:16:57,918 --> 01:17:00,878
Desperately.
You're the medicine I've been wanting.
1372
01:17:00,913 --> 01:17:03,234
Three times a day and shake well before taking.
1373
01:17:03,269 --> 01:17:06,750
You have such a romantic way
of putting things. I don't know what to say.
1374
01:17:06,785 --> 01:17:08,193
Say you'll have me!
1375
01:17:09,280 --> 01:17:10,938
Come, Sir Bernard.
1376
01:17:10,973 --> 01:17:12,596
Sit beside me.
1377
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:15,313
- Ooh!
- What on earth was that?
1378
01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:17,315
Ooh...
1379
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:20,079
Oh, no! Not again!
1380
01:17:21,160 --> 01:17:24,391
They don't half put those gas meters
in some funny places.
1381
01:17:24,426 --> 01:17:26,401
Excuse me, madam.
1382
01:17:26,436 --> 01:17:28,441
Matron! How could you?
1383
01:17:28,476 --> 01:17:31,756
Sir Bernard, I don't know
what that man was doing down there.
1384
01:17:31,791 --> 01:17:35,037
No. You should have shoved him
in the cupboard like the last one.
1385
01:17:35,072 --> 01:17:37,873
Perhaps you've got one in there alrea... Already!
1386
01:17:37,908 --> 01:17:39,916
My God! You have!
1387
01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:44,393
Yes. You've got woodworm
in there all right, miss.
1388
01:17:44,428 --> 01:17:46,401
We'll send you an estimate.
1389
01:17:46,436 --> 01:17:48,954
Matron, I've only got one thing to say to you,
1390
01:17:48,989 --> 01:17:51,473
never try to join the Newts.
1391
01:17:51,508 --> 01:17:54,956
- I've never seen those men. They were in the...
- I don't want...
1392
01:17:54,991 --> 01:17:57,883
Come on. Let's get this door open.
1393
01:17:57,918 --> 01:18:00,753
- Did you get it?
- No. But we stopped someone else getting it.
1394
01:18:00,788 --> 01:18:02,990
We'll have to blow it. Ernie, get the stuff out.
1395
01:18:03,025 --> 01:18:04,797
Come on. Hurry up.
1396
01:18:04,832 --> 01:18:06,876
Be careful with it. Steady with it.
1397
01:18:08,680 --> 01:18:10,636
Slowly.
1398
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:13,438
There. There you are.
1399
01:18:13,473 --> 01:18:14,964
Careful.
1400
01:18:14,999 --> 01:18:18,799
Huh... Looking for woodworm...
Reading the gas meter...
1401
01:18:18,834 --> 01:18:22,599
- I'm not a fool.
- You certainly are if you believe that.
1402
01:18:22,634 --> 01:18:24,681
I tell you, those men are up to no good.
1403
01:18:24,716 --> 01:18:27,075
Arthur, have you seen
any suspicious men about?
1404
01:18:27,110 --> 01:18:28,478
Suspicious, Matron?
1405
01:18:28,513 --> 01:18:31,557
Yes. One in uniform,
the other in a dark suit with a beard.
1406
01:18:31,592 --> 01:18:35,116
Oh, the men who came in with the emergency,
about quarter of an hour ago.
1407
01:18:35,151 --> 01:18:36,917
There you are. What did I tell you?
1408
01:18:36,952 --> 01:18:39,713
Emergency? We're not expecting
any emergencies, are we?
1409
01:18:39,748 --> 01:18:42,155
Well, Nurse Carter seemed to know all about it.
1410
01:18:42,190 --> 01:18:44,310
Nurse Carter? Where did they go?
1411
01:18:44,345 --> 01:18:45,514
Up in the lift, Matron.
1412
01:18:45,549 --> 01:18:50,475
We'll get to the bottom of this. Arthur,
lock all the doors and don't let anyone in or out.
1413
01:18:50,510 --> 01:18:54,314
I'll find out who's been unauthorised
in this hospital if it's the last thing I do...
1414
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:09,590
All right. Come on. Get down.
1415
01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:15,804
Oh! Oh!
1416
01:19:15,839 --> 01:19:16,840
What's that?
1417
01:19:16,875 --> 01:19:18,736
Oh! Sister! Quick!
1418
01:19:18,771 --> 01:19:20,597
It's starting.
1419
01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:25,054
- Sister!
- All right, Mrs Tidey. It's all right.
1420
01:19:25,089 --> 01:19:27,349
Just lie back. I won't be a moment. Just relax.
1421
01:19:31,960 --> 01:19:33,579
Come on, Dad. Hurry up.
1422
01:19:33,614 --> 01:19:35,198
All right. That's enough.
1423
01:19:35,233 --> 01:19:37,077
Here you are.
1424
01:19:38,160 --> 01:19:39,309
Let's go.
1425
01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:50,552
Blimey, that was quick, doc.
1426
01:19:50,587 --> 01:19:52,357
Ja. It's my new method.
1427
01:19:52,392 --> 01:19:54,401
I just whistle and out she comes.
1428
01:19:54,436 --> 01:19:57,751
- Pardon...
- You can't go out, doc. I've locked the doors.
1429
01:19:57,786 --> 01:19:59,478
Back way. Quick!
1430
01:20:06,480 --> 01:20:07,674
Come on. Down here.
1431
01:20:09,040 --> 01:20:10,996
Here they are.
1432
01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:15,475
Locked. Through there!
1433
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:22,596
They're locked!
1434
01:20:22,631 --> 01:20:24,636
Come on!
1435
01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:27,679
Down here!
1436
01:20:27,714 --> 01:20:28,949
There they are!
1437
01:20:32,480 --> 01:20:34,558
This is the maternity hospital here.
1438
01:20:34,593 --> 01:20:36,601
I'd like to report an explosion.
1439
01:20:36,636 --> 01:20:38,880
- They can't go through here.
- Where can they be?
1440
01:20:38,915 --> 01:20:42,276
- Where could they have got to?
- They must be round this way.
1441
01:20:43,600 --> 01:20:45,575
No! No!
1442
01:20:45,610 --> 01:20:49,721
Come on!
1443
01:20:49,756 --> 01:20:52,274
Stop those men! They're trespassing!
1444
01:20:56,551 --> 01:20:58,561
- Come on. Through here.
- Right.
1445
01:20:58,596 --> 01:21:01,478
- I'll ladder my stockings.
- Oh, shut up. Get in.
1446
01:21:05,240 --> 01:21:07,161
Look out.
1447
01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:09,919
Mind my... mind my back.
1448
01:21:11,520 --> 01:21:13,158
Matron. Through here. Quickly.
1449
01:21:14,600 --> 01:21:16,352
Dirty nappies.
1450
01:21:16,387 --> 01:21:17,953
Eurgh!
1451
01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,956
Come on, Matron. The wards.
1452
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:33,075
Aargh!
1453
01:21:35,400 --> 01:21:36,897
Missed me!
1454
01:21:36,932 --> 01:21:38,395
Aargh!
1455
01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:57,717
Mr Tidey...
1456
01:21:57,752 --> 01:22:00,791
Congratulations, your wife's just had a fine boy.
1457
01:22:00,826 --> 01:22:03,831
At last! I told you to use dynamite, didn't I?
1458
01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:06,876
Did you hear that, mates?
1459
01:22:06,911 --> 01:22:08,483
I've got a boy.
1460
01:22:08,518 --> 01:22:10,123
You've done it! Well done.
1461
01:22:10,158 --> 01:22:11,992
- Well done.
- There they are!
1462
01:22:12,027 --> 01:22:14,036
There they are! Matron!
1463
01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:38,676
- Do you mind?
- Blimey!
1464
01:22:40,160 --> 01:22:42,116
- It's no good.
- Quick!
1465
01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:45,189
There they are!
1466
01:22:49,600 --> 01:22:51,556
- There they are.
- Get them!
1467
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:56,317
Get them!
1468
01:22:56,352 --> 01:22:58,510
There's millions of 'em, like rabbits!
1469
01:22:59,920 --> 01:23:01,841
Don't let them go.
1470
01:23:01,876 --> 01:23:03,722
All right, all right, the game's up.
1471
01:23:03,757 --> 01:23:05,682
Hand over whatever it is you've got there.
1472
01:23:05,717 --> 01:23:10,476
- Quiet, please. I am trying to phone.
- Stop all that nonsense and call the police.
1473
01:23:10,511 --> 01:23:11,674
I'm trying to.
1474
01:23:11,709 --> 01:23:13,995
- I wouldn't, mate.
- Why not?
1475
01:23:14,030 --> 01:23:18,591
Well, if it ever got out that the nurse
who delivered those babies was a fella...
1476
01:23:19,640 --> 01:23:20,799
What?
1477
01:23:20,834 --> 01:23:22,656
I don't believe it.
1478
01:23:22,691 --> 01:23:24,479
You want more proof?
1479
01:23:26,240 --> 01:23:29,735
- Get off, Dad.
- He's right, Sir Bernard. We'd never live it down.
1480
01:23:29,770 --> 01:23:33,230
Very well. Arthur, put the phone down.
What is your proposition?
1481
01:23:33,265 --> 01:23:35,959
Simple. We give you the stuff back,
you let us go.
1482
01:23:35,994 --> 01:23:38,474
- My baby.
- Oh, shut up.
1483
01:23:41,080 --> 01:23:43,001
- Give it to me.
- Give it to her!
1484
01:23:43,036 --> 01:23:45,998
- All right. Hold the case, then.
- Oh, you fool. There.
1485
01:23:46,033 --> 01:23:48,230
You'll have to let them go, Sir Bernard.
1486
01:23:48,265 --> 01:23:50,709
Very well. Arthur, open the doors.
1487
01:24:08,240 --> 01:24:10,310
Ha-ha. It's time we left.
1488
01:24:10,345 --> 01:24:11,879
What on ea...
1489
01:24:12,960 --> 01:24:13,680
Prodd!
1490
01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:18,033
What on earth do you think you're doing,
you idiot?
1491
01:24:27,320 --> 01:24:29,276
- Ah...
- Well done, lad!
1492
01:24:29,311 --> 01:24:31,316
Well done.
1493
01:24:32,880 --> 01:24:34,916
- Our turn next, eh?
- It'd better be.
1494
01:24:34,951 --> 01:24:37,434
- You're not, are you?
- Oh...
1495
01:24:37,469 --> 01:24:40,079
- Here.
- Oh...
1496
01:24:40,114 --> 01:24:42,121
Don't they look lovely?
1497
01:24:42,156 --> 01:24:44,879
Yeah. I'm glad something good's
come out of it, anyway.
1498
01:24:45,960 --> 01:24:47,881
Happy, my dear?
1499
01:24:47,916 --> 01:24:52,034
Especially for you.
You'll be able to prove yourself at last.
1500
01:24:52,069 --> 01:24:56,117
I'm not worried about that any more,
I can assure you, my dear.
1501
01:24:56,152 --> 01:24:59,596
- Are we going to do another job?
- Of course. I've got a beauty lined up.
1502
01:24:59,631 --> 01:25:01,203
Really? What is it?
1503
01:25:01,238 --> 01:25:04,243
I was reading about
this millionaire's nudist camp.
1504
01:25:04,278 --> 01:25:07,397
If I could just get somebody in there
to look it over...
1505
01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:11,523
Hey! Come back!
1506
01:25:11,558 --> 01:25:13,198
Come back, you fools!
119191
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