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All language subtitles for Titeuf.Le.Film.2010.FRENCH.720p.BluRay.x264-LOST-By.Selauqs.[emule-island.ru]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,906 Three times six mammoths! 2 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,450 You could have told me the answer! 3 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,785 I told you with signs! 4 00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,997 I thought you were miming the claws of a tiger. 5 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,999 My parents are gonna pulverize me. 6 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,002 Well well, the microbes... 7 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:08,086 Microbes! 8 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:11,131 Do you have something for us? For us! 9 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,090 Oh no! 10 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,344 Not my caterpillar sandwich... 11 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,012 All I've got is my slip. 12 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,639 Ok, move it. 13 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,146 Bastards! 14 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:29,566 That wolfskin slip was a birthday present. 15 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,319 She'll yell at me, that's for sure. 16 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:33,153 What? 17 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,781 I swear, Mom, I haven't done anything. 18 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:39,243 Those big kids made me hand over my slip. 19 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,287 Zizie, stop. Not on the walls. 20 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:48,418 You're lucky, dad's been hunting. I'll stitch something together. 21 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:50,587 Why does my father... 22 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,131 ...only hunt lame animals? 23 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,633 Hm... 24 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,761 What a lovely slip, Titeuf. What brand is it? 25 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,431 Hi, girls! Whoa, classy! 26 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,516 Is that lizard? 27 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:06,687 Yeah. Lizard-air-pumps, it's the latest trend. Look. 28 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,859 Whoa, classy! Mega-top! 29 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,235 Tricera-top! 30 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,071 But it doesn't beat a hamster slip! 31 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,703 Forget it. And you know, reptile-shoes, they make your feet smell. 32 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:27,040 Bah... I am finished. No female will ever love me. 33 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:30,085 François, wanna play footskull? 34 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:33,130 I can't, I have to walk Kiki. 35 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,175 It's so cool to have a mammoth! 36 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,595 My parents don't want a pet. We have my grandpa at home already. 37 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,638 Cool? Not really. 38 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,308 I have to walk her twice a day. 39 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,229 Hold on. Gotta clean it. 40 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,067 Ooohh... 41 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:57,696 Who a the cute Kiki then? Who? 42 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,991 Oh, what a pretty bird! Look, Kiki. 43 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,625 Stop, you big dumb lump! 44 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,675 Aaahh! 45 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,431 Well well, Titeuf! 46 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:29,061 Aren't you ashamed, sleeping during history class? 47 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,145 Aaahh! 48 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:33,106 A horrible T-rex! 49 00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,900 Oops! 50 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:52,751 Copy 50 times:'I must not call my teacher a "T-rex."' 51 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,547 Ooohh... I don't think I'm gonna have a good night's rest. 52 00:04:56,755 --> 00:05:01,093 I know she's old, but still... a T-rex! You're cruel. 53 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:05,722 And it isn't even possible. They've been extinct for millions of years. 54 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,724 The teachers? 55 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,310 This is Manu. He's my best friend. 56 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:13,564 Your face when the teacher woke you up! 57 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,984 He's Hugo, My second best friend. 58 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,820 Next to him, the chap who spits, that's Jean-Claude. 59 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,864 No chance, bro! 60 00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,367 My other friends, François, Vomito... 61 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:28,495 ... Ramon... 62 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,414 A handkerchief, someone? 63 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:31,456 ... Puduk... 64 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,126 Who wants to play 'Station with me? 65 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,004 Uh... no thank you, not me. 66 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,673 And there's Marco. Hey there, small stuff. 67 00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:42,759 He doesn't wear his air-pump lizards? 68 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:46,722 But he isn't a friend. He hangs out with the girls. 69 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,433 And it isn't that they're all bitches... 70 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,435 Get lost! Wanna take a picture? 71 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,061 Scam, big nose! 72 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:57,316 In fact, they are. They're all bitches. Except Nadia. 73 00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:01,153 She's so beautiful, I want to marry her. 74 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,740 Get out of my air space. 75 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,911 Well, the problem is that she's still a girl. 76 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,414 Any advance with Nadia? 77 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:16,210 Yeah... She takes her time. She needs to think about it, you know. 78 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:18,295 Did you make your statement yet? 79 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:21,590 No, but wait... That isn't how it works. 80 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:25,469 First, I'll make her crazy about me with my looks... 81 00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:27,721 With my attitude. Attitude? 82 00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:30,182 Well, yeah, my attitude! Like this... 83 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,354 You've got a stomach ache? 84 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,774 Bah... Sometimes you scare me, my little Manu. 85 00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,116 Ah! Gross! 86 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,285 He's gonna rust up her braces! 87 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,121 Are you gonna do this with Nadia? 88 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,999 Are you nuts? We're not gonna mix our juices! 89 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,044 Everyone should keep his drool to himself It's a personal thing. 90 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:00,128 Oh yeah... 91 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,382 But when will you go talk to her? 92 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,844 I'll send her an anonymous letter. 93 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:07,928 A what? 94 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,764 A love letter, but I won't sign it. 95 00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:14,226 She'll start imagining, dreaming about a Prince Charming... 96 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,936 You're that Prince Charming? 97 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:20,858 Well, yeah. But she doesn't know that since I am anonymous. 98 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,319 Here, look. 99 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:27,281 "You're the most beautiful girl of the universe." 100 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,741 "Your eyes are like stars..." 101 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:33,036 "... and your cheeks are like... Meteorites?" 102 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,665 "I'll take you away on my interstellar spaceship." 103 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,376 What's with the interstellar spaceship? 104 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:40,961 It's poetry! 105 00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:43,463 You don't know anything about sexual stuff, you! 106 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,800 You don't understand it, but the girls, they love poetry. 107 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,677 You didn't even sign it! 108 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,638 That's on purpose. It's an anonymous letter! 109 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,432 It'll make her dreaming... 110 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,269 You mean, dreaming about cheeks like meteorites? 111 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,396 And it's only a rough draft! 112 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,565 I'm sick of this, you're too stupid! 113 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,610 He really lacks any sense of poetry. 114 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:08,822 So, microbe... You got something for us? 115 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,782 Us. What's that, then? 116 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,493 No! My letter! That's mine! 117 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,995 Not anymore. 118 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,205 Cool story, bro. 119 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,414 Wanna smoke? 120 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:20,334 No! My letter! Give it back! 121 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,005 Ok, let's go. 122 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:30,969 Those guys are worse than a puddle of vomit in a trash can. 123 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:35,724 One day, they'll pinch a zit and they'll have their brains outside of their heads. 124 00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:36,934 Whaddya know. 125 00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,188 This is my family. 126 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,398 My dad, he's very strong. 127 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:47,819 His work, it's researching stuff. 128 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,656 He had to research the job market for a long time. 129 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,783 It was super complicated! 130 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:55,661 Nowadays he repairs computers. 131 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,164 That's my mom. I adore her... 132 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:02,835 ... except when she says that. 133 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,378 And then you will do your homework. 134 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,964 Uh... and when she says that too. 135 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:10,592 That mini T-rex over there, that's my sister, Zizie. 136 00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:14,805 Ga! 137 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,474 It's a girl. 138 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,881 Bedtime. School tomorrow. 139 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:53,552 But mom! I was about to be promoted to interstellar commander! 140 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,595 Bed, now! 141 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,931 Not cool! I only had one head to pull out... 142 00:09:58,140 --> 00:09:59,766 That's enough, I said! 143 00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:04,104 It's bad for your health, playing this mind-numbing stuff all the time. 144 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:07,191 It isn't bad! It's the Grand Mugul! 145 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:11,361 It's educational! It's about exterminating Zblorgs. It's useful! 146 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:12,613 No! 147 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:18,493 I don't care. You'll regret it when the apocalypse of the mutants starts. 148 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,037 You could have let him finish. 149 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:23,665 When it comes to authority, one cannot count on you. 150 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,210 What does that mean? 151 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,254 You can let him play that videogame... 152 00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:33,300 ... if you keep an eye on it. But today I had to do everything. 153 00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:34,968 Everything? I must be dreaming! 154 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,887 And who does the dishes? 155 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,433 And your mother on the phone? Level 3. 156 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,311 It's always my mother's fault! 157 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,688 And the laundry? And the courses? 158 00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:49,233 Well, take a vacation. 159 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,818 I can't take it anymore, I'm suffocating! 160 00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:55,072 Just like in Mugulator, if you choke... 161 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,742 ... you've got a command to increase the oxygen level... 162 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:00,202 BED! 163 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,791 My parents shout too. 164 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,586 My father says it's because of my mother having her period. 165 00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:12,673 My dad must have his period, too. 166 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:16,802 It doesn't surprise me. He's always been a punctual guy. 167 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,097 In any case, I, when I marry Nadia... 168 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:23,559 You're going to marry Nadia, you? 169 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,352 Well... yes. 170 00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:27,688 Ah! And she knows about it? 171 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,023 "And she knows about it?" 172 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,693 She will, you big dork! 173 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,821 And I'm expecting it to happen... today! 174 00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:45,122 Did you bring your letter to "nonymous"? 175 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,916 Yeah. I further improved it. 176 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,334 Look. 177 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,752 Oh Yeah. 178 00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,504 It looks completely different. 179 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,007 Why do you talk about toilet paper? 180 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,550 What? Give me that! 181 00:11:57,259 --> 00:12:02,097 "Butter, 2 liters of milk, toilet paper..." It's the grocery list! 182 00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:05,100 It's really special, like poetry. 183 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:06,476 Oh no! 184 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:09,271 I must have switched the papers last night. 185 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,106 My mom has got my letter ... 186 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:15,068 I hope she won't buy meteorite butter! 187 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,070 You stupid... 188 00:12:18,197 --> 00:12:19,573 This is for you. 189 00:12:24,453 --> 00:12:28,749 "Dear Manu, I invite you to my birthday..." 190 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,376 "... and that of Nadia." 191 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,295 What? They celebrate it... 192 00:12:33,504 --> 00:12:34,463 ... together? 193 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,798 That's completely retarded! 194 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:40,469 I'll have to think of a gift for another alien. 195 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,638 Don't worry, you're not invited. 196 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,098 Not invited? 197 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,559 "Not invited"? How? Why? 198 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,104 I'm not invited... 199 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,566 ... to Nadia's party. 200 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,026 But why? 201 00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:59,112 Well... maybe she has forgotten you? 202 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:00,864 Forgotten? 203 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,951 Not possible, she sees me every day! 204 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,161 I don't know anything about it. 205 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,622 You see, it doesn't make sense. 206 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:12,125 Maybe she was not like your joke about the girls'... 207 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:13,544 ... brians. 208 00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:20,425 Or because of that burping contest you did once... 209 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:21,802 ... at the party. 210 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:26,974 Or because you got yelled on the playground: "Girls..." 211 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,183 "... they stink!"? 212 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:32,521 Or maybe she just doesn't want you to come. 213 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,319 So, Titeuf... Still in the land of the dinosaurs? 214 00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:49,663 I don't care anyway why she didn't invite me. 215 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,542 Hello! 216 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:54,543 Bah! 217 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:55,836 You're all dressed up? 218 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,422 You're going for a walk, do you? Gourkuf. 219 00:13:58,630 --> 00:13:59,673 Gourkuf? 220 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:02,718 What do you mean by that? You can't pronounce...? 221 00:14:05,596 --> 00:14:08,098 My Jump Rodgers poster! 222 00:14:08,307 --> 00:14:10,559 Zizie, you gotta stop eating... 223 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,186 ... my stuff. 224 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:15,439 I'm going to spend a few days with grandma. 225 00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:18,650 With grandma? Why grandma? 226 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,696 Dad and I, we need some time alone to think. 227 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,489 Think about what? 228 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,450 About grownups' matters. 229 00:14:26,992 --> 00:14:31,955 Zizie comes with me, but you'll have to stay here because of school. Okay? 230 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:34,917 You're going to stay with Dad. I'll call you tomorrow. 231 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:38,420 Why? What's going on? 232 00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:41,548 Sometimes moms and dads... 233 00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:45,427 ... need to take a step back... 234 00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:47,012 Why are you moving out? 235 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,514 No, no... 236 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,891 You must not worry, darling. 237 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,809 Yes, but uh... 238 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,561 Everything will be okay. 239 00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:57,940 You're a man now. Do not worry, my little chicken. 240 00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,733 I'm a not a chicken! 241 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,944 No, you're not a chicken. 242 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,445 You're great. 243 00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:05,656 I have to go. 244 00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:10,827 Bye bye, my chi... my darling. Don't worry, everything will be well. 245 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:21,213 She'll be back. She just needs some time alone. 246 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,049 As for now, we need to focus. Do you understand? 247 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:28,220 Uh... to focus do you need my Game Boy? 248 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,764 Because you'll need to give it back then. 249 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,307 Ah... 250 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:36,687 Uh... does that mean yes? 251 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:40,440 "Don't worry... Don't worry..." 252 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,276 It's clear, their trick. 253 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:45,028 Also, it sucks to think of granny. 254 00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:46,905 She never stops talking! 255 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,740 I too have problems! 256 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,618 Global issues about birthdays. 257 00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:54,663 And that's why I'm not going to grandma. 258 00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:58,667 And that's why I don't steal other people's Game Boys! 259 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:02,796 And whack! 260 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,048 She's gone. 261 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,466 Whoa! 262 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:09,052 You mean they'll get a divor-fe? 263 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:11,346 Not at all! Nothing like it. 264 00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:14,308 They just want to think things over, but at granny's. 265 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,352 Your mom, there may be another man. 266 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,564 A lover. It happens, with girls. 267 00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:22,983 My mom isn't a girl anymore! 268 00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:24,818 She isn't in love! 269 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,070 Why wouldn't she? 270 00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,989 It's my mom! 271 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:32,075 At some moment, some couples can't... 272 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:33,493 ... be together. 273 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,163 It's called the midnight crisis. 274 00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:40,417 But it wasn't midnight, it was 4 o'clock! 275 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:43,003 So much for your theory! 276 00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:44,588 Uh... What? 277 00:16:44,796 --> 00:16:46,840 What if she had read your letter... 278 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,552 ...and she believed that it was a Nonymous who wrote it? 279 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:54,640 "You're the most beautiful girl of the universe." 280 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:59,520 "Your eyes are like stars and your cheeks are like meteorites." 281 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,898 "I will come and take you away, but not on a horse..." 282 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,567 "... but on my interstellar spaceship." 283 00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:08,862 Don't forget to buy toilet paper. 284 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:11,448 It's a mega giga catastrophe! 285 00:17:11,657 --> 00:17:14,326 This is a judicial error! 286 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:15,494 Come on, Titeuf! 287 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,454 Come on, pass it! 288 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:23,252 Ah! Hi, Nadia. Did you sleep well? 289 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:32,636 At least you can be sure that she hasn't forgotten you. 290 00:17:32,845 --> 00:17:34,054 Oohhh ... 291 00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:37,891 With me, it was my father who needed some time alone.. 292 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,184 he didn't come back. 293 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,729 That was 4 years ago. My mother has a new husband. 294 00:17:42,938 --> 00:17:45,274 Yeah? And why would that interest me? 295 00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:48,777 I share my room with his 2 girls. 296 00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:50,362 Oohhh! 297 00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,114 2 girls? Why? 298 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,283 They're are my half-sisters. 299 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,201 Your half-sisters? 300 00:17:56,410 --> 00:18:01,331 2 half-sisters, makes one full sister. But that makes you... what? 301 00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:03,750 Well, I'm their half-brother. 302 00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:09,965 I've got a friend whose father remarried three times. 303 00:18:10,174 --> 00:18:12,050 He's got four half-brothers and sisters. 304 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,886 If he was married 3 times... 305 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:16,847 ... you wouldn't get halves, but third sisters. 306 00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:18,682 Oh no ... 307 00:18:18,891 --> 00:18:21,310 If it wasn't enough already, there's a lot of maths too! 308 00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:25,689 If you become a half-brother... 309 00:18:25,898 --> 00:18:29,401 ... maybe you'll get half an invitation to Nadia's party. 310 00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:41,830 Come on! 311 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:43,665 Tonight, I cook. 312 00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:47,753 I'll do my secret recipe. Makes even top chefs envy me. 313 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:50,672 The daddy burger! 314 00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:53,008 Yum! 315 00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:56,220 Mom's new husband, does he have girls? 316 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,805 What do you say? 317 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:02,518 Your mom... she doesn't have a new husband. 318 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,311 She is, well... 319 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,897 Come on, we'll eat in the lounge. 320 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:12,194 You know, sometimes dads and moms must call it quits. 321 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,404 Not because they don't love each other anymore. 322 00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:16,698 It's just that after many years... 323 00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:19,910 Why he speaks to me like I'm stupid? 324 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:23,330 Doesn't he feel right or what? 325 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,332 That's it! 326 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,043 He's suffering from a midnight crisis! 327 00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,378 Oh no! 328 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,422 We must take a step back. Do you understand? 329 00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:34,132 Uh... 330 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,384 No. 331 00:19:37,386 --> 00:19:39,346 Me neither, to be honest. 332 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:42,266 But we're still going to eat those daddy burgers. 333 00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,190 Dad? 334 00:19:50,399 --> 00:19:51,233 Mmyes? 335 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:53,443 It's nice without girls. 336 00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:01,368 Hi. That's fine. 337 00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:02,786 I'll call him. 338 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:05,455 Titeuf! Mom on the phone. 339 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:11,879 Titeuf! 340 00:20:15,132 --> 00:20:17,301 Mmyes... Mom? 341 00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:20,137 Everything ok, darling? 342 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:24,808 My little... You too have a lump in your throat. 343 00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:28,061 That's better. I swallowed. Ah... 344 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,564 You're doing your homework? 345 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,191 Uh... yes, yes. 346 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,109 I was working on... 347 00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:36,195 ... division! 348 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:39,781 When are you coming back? Did you do the thinking? 349 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,285 I won't come back right away, but I'll see you soon. 350 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:46,663 You can come to spend the weekend with granny and me. 351 00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:49,458 Can I bring Dad? 352 00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,793 Daddy will stay home. 353 00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:55,506 I'll explain it. Kisses and embraces! 354 00:20:55,714 --> 00:20:57,299 Give me back your father. 355 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,386 Oh ... don't not cry, little one. 356 00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:04,806 Everything will be alright. I'll see you soon... 357 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:30,707 Morning, everyone! 358 00:21:44,221 --> 00:21:46,223 Uh... morning, dad. 359 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,267 Bye, Titeuf. 360 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:06,535 Are you crying? 361 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:07,619 No. 362 00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:13,584 Because of the divorce of your parents? 363 00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:18,213 I'm not crying. My eyes are irritated because of the homework. 364 00:22:18,422 --> 00:22:21,884 Well, that's fine. It can happen to everyone, crying... 365 00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:25,846 I don't cry at all! And the girl stuff, it is useless! 366 00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:45,949 How are you? 367 00:22:46,909 --> 00:22:48,911 Did your mother come back? 368 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:49,995 My mother... 369 00:22:50,204 --> 00:22:51,496 My mother! 370 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:54,291 I'm gonna spend the weekend with her. 371 00:22:54,499 --> 00:22:57,544 Are you gonna tell her that you've written the love letter? 372 00:22:57,753 --> 00:23:00,047 Tell her? Are you nuts? 373 00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:02,466 I'm going to make it disappear. 374 00:23:02,674 --> 00:23:06,553 No more letters, no more Prince Charming. So my father's got a chance. 375 00:23:07,346 --> 00:23:09,932 Yeah... maybe. 376 00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:12,392 And how about Nadia's birthday? 377 00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:15,062 Still didn't receive an invitation. 378 00:23:15,771 --> 00:23:18,315 So, your parents, are they divorced yet? 379 00:23:18,524 --> 00:23:21,485 No, they're thinking. 380 00:23:21,693 --> 00:23:25,864 Silence! No talking during the test. 381 00:23:29,785 --> 00:23:33,830 Here, the answers. You read them and then you swallow them. 382 00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:38,794 Titeuf? 383 00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:41,213 Can you lend me your eraser? 384 00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:43,090 Aahhh! 385 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:45,092 What's going on here? 386 00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:48,929 A cheater! 387 00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:50,722 Out you go, you two! 388 00:23:50,931 --> 00:23:51,640 But... 389 00:23:52,307 --> 00:23:54,518 Explain it to the principal. Off you go! 390 00:23:54,726 --> 00:23:57,855 Uh ... so the principal's name is Offyougo? 391 00:23:58,063 --> 00:23:59,314 Out! 392 00:23:59,523 --> 00:24:00,899 Poor old chap! 393 00:24:01,108 --> 00:24:04,403 Well what? They go together, he should be pleased. 394 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,738 Oh, what an idiot... 395 00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,992 You see... 396 00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:14,246 "Principal Offyougo", that was was fun, no? 397 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,085 I'm sorry, Nadia. 398 00:24:20,294 --> 00:24:22,838 I don't feel very well at the moment. 399 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:26,800 It's because my parents, perhaps they'll divorce. 400 00:24:27,009 --> 00:24:28,343 Really? 401 00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:30,095 That must be hard for you. 402 00:24:30,304 --> 00:24:32,472 Oh yes! Oh yes, uh... 403 00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:36,226 One could say I saw some kind of family drama. 404 00:24:36,435 --> 00:24:39,771 I'm confused to death. Outright confused. 405 00:24:40,314 --> 00:24:42,191 Poor Titeuf. 406 00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:43,817 It's not easy. 407 00:24:44,026 --> 00:24:45,903 One must cope with it. 408 00:24:46,111 --> 00:24:48,197 Sometimes, one feels alone. 409 00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:52,993 And one would like to go to birthday parties for a change of mood. 410 00:24:53,202 --> 00:24:54,620 Yes, I understand. 411 00:24:54,828 --> 00:24:56,788 And uh... you understand? 412 00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:03,212 You've reached Level 2, mugul soldier. 413 00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:04,671 Yes! 414 00:25:06,215 --> 00:25:08,133 And my mother is gone. 415 00:25:08,342 --> 00:25:11,136 So it's a family drama. I haven't studied... 416 00:25:11,345 --> 00:25:13,764 ... for today's test. 417 00:25:13,972 --> 00:25:16,225 Because of my traumatization. 418 00:25:17,434 --> 00:25:18,936 I understand. 419 00:25:19,144 --> 00:25:22,481 These are difficult circumstances. 420 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:25,567 On the cons, you, you will be punished for cheating. 421 00:25:25,776 --> 00:25:26,985 What? 422 00:25:27,736 --> 00:25:29,947 Uh... everything ok, Nadia? 423 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:31,281 Leave me alone! 424 00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:32,741 Treat me nicely. 425 00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:34,409 I saw a family drama. 426 00:25:34,618 --> 00:25:36,411 Drop dead! 427 00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:40,040 But... my traumatization? 428 00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:48,715 Hey, guys! I adopted a jellyfish! 429 00:25:51,510 --> 00:25:52,553 Hey, look! 430 00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,429 Does someone have a handkerchief? 431 00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:58,892 My brand new Nikes! Spoiled! 432 00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:01,854 Sorry. You should have worn your air-pump lizards. 433 00:26:03,939 --> 00:26:07,150 Attention, guys! Mega vomit! 434 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:11,613 An atomic eruption of barf! Cosmic throw-up! 435 00:26:15,242 --> 00:26:16,201 Uh... 436 00:26:16,410 --> 00:26:18,704 Good morning, Mr. Principal. 437 00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:21,957 He's gonna tear his face off. 438 00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:23,000 For shure! 439 00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:26,545 Call him on my behalf. Do it today. 440 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:33,510 We may never see him again. He'll get taken to jail. 441 00:26:33,719 --> 00:26:35,262 Poor old chap! 442 00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:37,639 I'm not even getting punished. 443 00:26:37,848 --> 00:26:40,767 The director asked my father to take me to a shrink. 444 00:26:40,976 --> 00:26:42,394 What? 445 00:26:42,603 --> 00:26:46,356 Apparently my brain is disrupted because of my mom moving out. 446 00:26:46,565 --> 00:26:50,068 And it's not my fault that I hit him with the Glueblob. 447 00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:51,236 That's crazy! 448 00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:54,406 He says it's my subconscious who did this. 449 00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:56,825 Because my parents are separated. 450 00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:59,786 I need mine to split before my next book report!! 451 00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:02,497 I'm gonna overload my subconscious. 452 00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:06,126 How does he get that shrink to talk to your fubconfff... 453 00:27:06,335 --> 00:27:09,505 The psychs are able to see the insides of your brain. 454 00:27:09,713 --> 00:27:10,589 What? 455 00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:11,924 Yeah. 456 00:27:12,132 --> 00:27:14,593 They search for your subconscious in your head. 457 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:15,594 Oh? 458 00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:18,639 They open your skull to see it. 459 00:27:18,847 --> 00:27:21,850 Oh! Your stories drive me nuts! 460 00:27:22,059 --> 00:27:23,852 It's all bullshit! 461 00:27:24,061 --> 00:27:25,187 Oh dear! 462 00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:27,814 It's true that he's disturbed. 463 00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:36,698 You've got to relax, little one. 464 00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:42,329 Relax! It'll be okay. 465 00:27:42,538 --> 00:27:43,747 Hehehe! 466 00:27:43,956 --> 00:27:46,124 This is going to sting a bit. 467 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:48,669 Aaahhh! 468 00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:52,005 That... It's no good. 469 00:27:52,214 --> 00:27:54,216 That isn't either. 470 00:27:54,424 --> 00:27:57,386 What's that thing? Yuck! 471 00:27:57,594 --> 00:27:59,304 Here we are! 472 00:27:59,513 --> 00:28:00,430 Hehehe. 473 00:28:01,515 --> 00:28:04,351 I think we did a pretty good job. 474 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,104 Say something, Titeuf. 475 00:28:07,312 --> 00:28:10,232 Huh? How do you feel? 476 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,734 Uh... weird? 477 00:28:12,943 --> 00:28:15,279 Oh! What is that voice? 478 00:28:15,487 --> 00:28:18,532 That's his true subconscious personality. 479 00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:21,285 It's a girl. 480 00:28:27,499 --> 00:28:28,625 Phew! 481 00:28:30,502 --> 00:28:32,588 You're already awake. That's good. 482 00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:34,506 Get ready to go to the shrink. 483 00:28:34,715 --> 00:28:36,633 Brush your brain's teeth well! 484 00:28:38,260 --> 00:28:39,803 Ha, ha, ha. 485 00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:47,311 Titeuf, will you take that helmet off? 486 00:28:59,239 --> 00:29:00,532 Oh! 487 00:29:01,575 --> 00:29:03,035 Titeuf, it's your turn. 488 00:29:03,869 --> 00:29:06,371 So... that's... 489 00:29:08,624 --> 00:29:10,584 Ti... teuf. 490 00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:12,544 How are you, my lad? 491 00:29:12,753 --> 00:29:14,713 The principal has sent us. 492 00:29:14,922 --> 00:29:17,508 A few days ago, my son... 493 00:29:17,716 --> 00:29:20,552 he pulled all those things out of brains? 494 00:29:21,929 --> 00:29:23,764 He must be hyper strong! 495 00:29:23,972 --> 00:29:25,349 Mmm... 496 00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:29,061 Since his mother and I are separated. 497 00:29:29,269 --> 00:29:30,437 Mmm. 498 00:29:30,646 --> 00:29:32,773 Ti... Titeuf. 499 00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:35,651 Let's start with a game. 500 00:29:35,859 --> 00:29:39,196 I'll... Won't you remove your helmet? 501 00:29:39,404 --> 00:29:40,614 No! 502 00:29:40,822 --> 00:29:41,865 Okay. 503 00:29:42,074 --> 00:29:43,992 Good. Sit down. 504 00:29:44,201 --> 00:29:46,620 I'm gonna show you the ink stains... 505 00:29:46,828 --> 00:29:49,581 ... and you tell me what they make you think of. 506 00:29:49,790 --> 00:29:52,376 It's Nadia He managed make Nadia! 507 00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:56,421 Incredible! It must be a trick to get my attention. 508 00:29:56,630 --> 00:30:01,260 Then crack! He'll open my head and photoscan my neurons! 509 00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:03,887 But I won't let that happen. 510 00:30:04,096 --> 00:30:06,807 It reminds me of an ink blot. 511 00:30:07,015 --> 00:30:07,891 Ah! Ah! 512 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:09,268 Mmm... 513 00:30:09,476 --> 00:30:12,771 Why does he say "Mmm"? 514 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:14,398 It's mom! 515 00:30:15,065 --> 00:30:16,608 Mmm... 516 00:30:16,817 --> 00:30:19,611 It reminds me of a stain. 517 00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,113 Mmm... 518 00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:22,030 Mmm! 519 00:30:22,573 --> 00:30:25,617 Actually, it IS a stain. 520 00:30:25,826 --> 00:30:30,581 And you have to tell me what it evokes for you. Do you understand? 521 00:30:30,789 --> 00:30:32,374 Mmm? 522 00:30:36,879 --> 00:30:38,338 So, mmm? 523 00:30:38,547 --> 00:30:39,715 It's your head. 524 00:30:39,923 --> 00:30:41,300 Oh! Oh! Well. 525 00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:43,677 Here's your bald skull. 526 00:30:43,886 --> 00:30:47,181 There are your ears with protruding hairs and... 527 00:30:47,389 --> 00:30:49,933 That's enough for today. 528 00:30:54,688 --> 00:30:57,608 If you ever... The third stain, that's him! 529 00:30:57,816 --> 00:30:59,526 Ok, let's go! 530 00:31:05,991 --> 00:31:08,827 I can't help it if there is such a blot. 531 00:31:09,661 --> 00:31:12,372 Will you please get rid of that helmet at last? 532 00:31:13,332 --> 00:31:14,917 Elodie? Hey! 533 00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:15,959 Well I never. 534 00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:19,463 You look fit. 535 00:31:19,671 --> 00:31:22,132 And you? What happened to you? 536 00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:25,552 Always traveling. Finally, I'm back. 537 00:31:26,386 --> 00:31:28,430 And you? This is your son? 538 00:31:29,056 --> 00:31:33,101 Yes, my son, Titeuf. We were getting back home... from the shrink. 539 00:31:33,602 --> 00:31:34,520 Oh... 540 00:31:35,145 --> 00:31:38,065 Yeah. His mother is gone, so... 541 00:31:38,273 --> 00:31:40,359 It's only boys again. 542 00:31:41,652 --> 00:31:42,861 And you...? 543 00:31:43,070 --> 00:31:45,280 No. Still single. 544 00:31:45,489 --> 00:31:46,281 Ah! 545 00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:47,199 Ah? 546 00:31:50,994 --> 00:31:52,746 We could... meet again? 547 00:31:52,955 --> 00:31:54,289 Some evening? With pleasure. 548 00:31:54,498 --> 00:31:55,874 Here's my number. 549 00:31:56,083 --> 00:31:57,751 I gotta run. Bye bye! 550 00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:58,961 Bye, Teuteuf. 551 00:31:59,503 --> 00:32:01,713 Bye bye. Who's she? 552 00:32:02,673 --> 00:32:04,716 she's... an ex. 553 00:32:04,925 --> 00:32:06,802 An ex what? An expert? 554 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:10,264 An explosion? An exile of Thingistan? 555 00:32:10,472 --> 00:32:11,890 An ex-girlfriend. 556 00:32:12,099 --> 00:32:15,102 And she invites you to her birthday? 557 00:32:15,310 --> 00:32:16,562 Well... yeah. 558 00:32:16,979 --> 00:32:21,191 Nadia's needs to invite me. Otherwise, she'll also become an ex. 559 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,777 She was actually my fiance. 560 00:32:23,986 --> 00:32:27,406 A long time ago, before mom. When I was young. 561 00:32:27,614 --> 00:32:29,199 But she's old! 562 00:32:29,408 --> 00:32:30,784 At the time she was young. 563 00:32:30,993 --> 00:32:32,870 You kissed her on the mouth? 564 00:32:33,078 --> 00:32:33,996 Well, yes. 565 00:32:34,204 --> 00:32:36,707 For her birthday? 566 00:32:36,915 --> 00:32:38,834 Well... Yes. Yes, that too. 567 00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:40,169 Disgusting! 568 00:32:41,879 --> 00:32:43,172 I swear it! 569 00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,007 It was him, but in stain-form. 570 00:32:45,215 --> 00:32:47,050 Oh, nuts! 571 00:32:47,259 --> 00:32:48,385 Listen to this! 572 00:32:48,594 --> 00:32:50,596 Are you ready? 573 00:32:55,726 --> 00:32:59,271 My-friend-Pier-rot 574 00:33:02,399 --> 00:33:03,650 That's easy! 575 00:33:03,859 --> 00:33:06,945 Do it, then! I am a thousand times better. 576 00:33:14,453 --> 00:33:16,997 Whoa! Stay classy, Titeuf. 577 00:33:17,206 --> 00:33:18,874 Uh, Nadia! 578 00:33:19,082 --> 00:33:22,085 It's just... I had something stuck. 579 00:33:22,294 --> 00:33:25,797 Something you've eaten in the land of the T-rex. 580 00:33:26,006 --> 00:33:27,299 Nice one! 581 00:33:28,217 --> 00:33:30,552 Those babies and their lame games. 582 00:33:30,761 --> 00:33:34,056 Because of their hormones, their brains don't grow. 583 00:33:34,264 --> 00:33:37,643 It stays like a testicle till they're grown up. 584 00:33:37,851 --> 00:33:40,354 My aunt says it shrinks again afterwards. 585 00:33:40,562 --> 00:33:43,857 Especially if they go into cold water. 586 00:33:44,066 --> 00:33:45,943 Bah... 587 00:33:46,151 --> 00:33:48,111 That was a great success! 588 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,532 You've beaten Hugo in the belching contest. 589 00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:53,242 Thanks, Manu. 590 00:33:53,909 --> 00:33:55,536 And your parents? 591 00:33:55,744 --> 00:33:59,540 My father, he walked into some ex on the street. 592 00:33:59,748 --> 00:34:00,666 So what? 593 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:04,086 Well, nothing. They're still thinking. 594 00:34:04,294 --> 00:34:06,296 One thinks at home... 595 00:34:06,505 --> 00:34:09,591 ... and one thinks on the countryside, with my grandma. 596 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:10,551 Ah! 597 00:34:10,759 --> 00:34:12,135 My parents also think. 598 00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:14,763 But they think together. 599 00:34:14,972 --> 00:34:17,641 For the Glueblob, I got two nights of detention. 600 00:34:18,308 --> 00:34:19,977 Yeah, me too. 601 00:34:20,185 --> 00:34:22,980 I would have been safer at the shrink's. 602 00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:26,066 At home, we had a hamster named Toto. 603 00:34:26,275 --> 00:34:29,695 He became ill and we knew he was dying. 604 00:34:29,903 --> 00:34:31,864 So he was allowed to do anything. 605 00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,157 He could screw up everything. 606 00:34:34,366 --> 00:34:37,786 Gnaw plants, chairs... 607 00:34:37,995 --> 00:34:40,622 They even let him to pee on the carpet. 608 00:34:40,831 --> 00:34:43,083 So what? What are you trying to say? 609 00:34:43,292 --> 00:34:44,626 I dunno. 610 00:34:44,835 --> 00:34:47,129 My hamster, he was like you. 611 00:34:47,337 --> 00:34:49,798 He could do everything he wanted but never got punished. 612 00:34:50,007 --> 00:34:51,175 Like the president. 613 00:34:51,383 --> 00:34:52,426 What's with the President? 614 00:34:52,634 --> 00:34:56,889 Same thing. He can pee on the carpet of the palace without a problem. 615 00:34:57,097 --> 00:34:59,183 It's called is presidential immunity. 616 00:34:59,391 --> 00:35:03,812 It's presidential humidity to pee on the carpet of the palace? 617 00:35:04,021 --> 00:35:06,148 It doesn't matter! But Toto... 618 00:35:06,356 --> 00:35:07,858 ... he died eventually. 619 00:35:08,817 --> 00:35:10,068 And that was it? 620 00:35:10,277 --> 00:35:13,155 What if it was because you were going to die? 621 00:35:13,906 --> 00:35:17,492 That's why adults treat you so nice! 622 00:35:18,911 --> 00:35:20,704 That's horrible! 623 00:35:20,913 --> 00:35:23,123 I'm gonna die! 624 00:35:23,332 --> 00:35:25,250 Wait! We can't be sure. 625 00:35:25,459 --> 00:35:28,420 I didn't mean it like that. You're not a hamster. 626 00:35:31,965 --> 00:35:34,134 If you really gonna die... 627 00:35:34,343 --> 00:35:38,388 Can you leave me your Game Boy cartridges in your will? 628 00:35:38,597 --> 00:35:42,643 I need to know for sure if I'm really gonna die. 629 00:35:42,851 --> 00:35:44,186 Yeah. 630 00:35:44,394 --> 00:35:47,147 That way, you got time to sort your cartridges. 631 00:35:59,034 --> 00:36:02,204 But...? But what are you... ? You can't do that! 632 00:36:02,412 --> 00:36:03,789 Are you out of your mind? 633 00:36:03,997 --> 00:36:06,917 Go fetch a cloth and clean that up! 634 00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:08,961 No TV for you for 2 days! 635 00:36:10,003 --> 00:36:13,423 Yes! He would never do that to someone who's dying! 636 00:36:43,912 --> 00:36:47,249 Uh, well... I'm putting on my pajamas. 637 00:36:47,457 --> 00:36:48,959 So, I... Ooh! 638 00:36:49,168 --> 00:36:53,255 I take this opportunity to test the elastic... Ouch! ... of my underwear. 639 00:36:54,298 --> 00:36:56,592 I have to talk to the psychiatrist. 640 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,343 "My son is well." 641 00:36:58,927 --> 00:37:01,930 "He just... peed on the living room rug." 642 00:37:05,767 --> 00:37:07,394 Oh, uh... that smells good. 643 00:37:08,729 --> 00:37:09,897 What is it? 644 00:37:10,105 --> 00:37:12,441 Guacamole. But it isn't for you. 645 00:37:12,649 --> 00:37:15,444 For you, there's pizza! In your room. 646 00:37:16,612 --> 00:37:18,614 Who gets the guacamole, then? 647 00:37:19,281 --> 00:37:20,449 I've got a guest. 648 00:37:20,657 --> 00:37:23,911 Why can't I eat machinmole with you? 649 00:37:24,578 --> 00:37:27,497 Because it's a dinner with grown-ups. 650 00:37:28,665 --> 00:37:30,667 What grown-ups? 651 00:37:30,876 --> 00:37:33,587 Your father and uh... a friend. 652 00:37:34,254 --> 00:37:35,756 Ok, let's go. Yummy! 653 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,550 Enjoy your meal. 654 00:37:46,725 --> 00:37:47,768 Hi! Hi! 655 00:37:48,894 --> 00:37:53,148 The ex-girlfriend that dad kissed for her birthday! 656 00:37:55,609 --> 00:37:59,780 If they get along well, she's going to live here with her daughters! 657 00:38:00,113 --> 00:38:01,740 Titeuf, come say hello. 658 00:38:04,701 --> 00:38:06,453 That's for me! 659 00:38:06,662 --> 00:38:08,121 Yes for a change. 660 00:38:09,623 --> 00:38:10,499 Titeuf? 661 00:38:10,707 --> 00:38:14,378 Manu, I've got a problem. It's the girl I told you about. 662 00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:16,797 The ex-young fiancee who become old. 663 00:38:17,005 --> 00:38:19,550 She's here. She's having dinner with my dad. 664 00:38:19,758 --> 00:38:23,095 She's gonna try to replace my mother. 665 00:38:23,303 --> 00:38:24,596 Ooh! Calm down. 666 00:38:24,805 --> 00:38:29,351 They may just want to talk about the prehistoric times when they knew each other. 667 00:38:30,394 --> 00:38:34,439 If they're just talking, why did my dad light those candles? 668 00:38:34,648 --> 00:38:36,525 Yikes! Uh, don't panic! 669 00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:39,194 What color are her clothes? 670 00:38:39,403 --> 00:38:41,154 What the hell do you mean? 671 00:38:41,363 --> 00:38:43,782 I read it in one of mom's magazines. 672 00:38:43,991 --> 00:38:46,785 It's about clothes to wear when you're going out. 673 00:38:46,994 --> 00:38:48,203 I'll get it. 674 00:38:50,372 --> 00:38:51,582 Ok, I've got it. 675 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:55,919 "What looks will seduce him?" 676 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,839 Go ahead. What clothes? 677 00:39:00,382 --> 00:39:03,343 The girl wears a rather short skirt. 678 00:39:03,552 --> 00:39:06,096 And a blouse with a hole at the top. 679 00:39:06,305 --> 00:39:07,973 A cleavage. 680 00:39:08,182 --> 00:39:09,892 Ah... Which color? 681 00:39:10,100 --> 00:39:12,269 Bah... gray and brown. 682 00:39:12,769 --> 00:39:14,897 Gray and brown? 683 00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:18,609 Ah, got it. This is what you wear for a job interview. 684 00:39:18,817 --> 00:39:20,736 She wants to work for your father? 685 00:39:20,944 --> 00:39:24,239 I don't know! But there's lots of skin! 686 00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:27,159 The skin of the arms and legs... 687 00:39:27,367 --> 00:39:29,203 The skin of the top of the tits... 688 00:39:29,411 --> 00:39:31,205 It's skin color. 689 00:39:31,413 --> 00:39:32,956 What does it say about that? 690 00:39:33,665 --> 00:39:38,170 Eek! That's not good. She's in total seduction mode. 691 00:39:38,378 --> 00:39:40,506 How's your father dressed? 692 00:39:40,714 --> 00:39:43,800 He's wearing his black shirt and he's put on his shoes. 693 00:39:44,009 --> 00:39:45,135 He doesn't wear pants? 694 00:39:45,344 --> 00:39:49,556 Of course! Before he put on his shoes he was wearing slippers. 695 00:39:49,765 --> 00:39:50,516 Ah! 696 00:39:50,724 --> 00:39:51,725 What does that mean? 697 00:39:51,934 --> 00:39:54,561 I do not know. But I think it's serious. 698 00:39:54,770 --> 00:39:56,438 Do not leave them alone! 699 00:39:56,647 --> 00:39:58,232 Ok, I'll go! 700 00:39:59,274 --> 00:40:01,693 You don't forget that. You're so silly! 701 00:40:01,902 --> 00:40:04,321 So, Isa had an operation? 702 00:40:04,530 --> 00:40:06,782 Yes, but only her ears. 703 00:40:06,990 --> 00:40:08,700 Here's stuff to eat. 704 00:40:08,909 --> 00:40:10,953 Madame must be hungry. 705 00:40:12,538 --> 00:40:13,914 You already know Titeuf. 706 00:40:14,456 --> 00:40:15,624 He's cute. 707 00:40:15,832 --> 00:40:17,918 Dad? Does this lady have daughters? 708 00:40:18,126 --> 00:40:19,920 No. I have no children. 709 00:40:20,128 --> 00:40:22,673 Ah... And now, you are too old. 710 00:40:24,174 --> 00:40:26,802 You're there to help my dad to think? 711 00:40:27,010 --> 00:40:29,680 Alright, that's enough. Go to your room. 712 00:40:29,888 --> 00:40:31,390 Watch out, Dad! 713 00:40:31,598 --> 00:40:33,183 She's got skinny tits! 714 00:40:33,392 --> 00:40:34,852 To get your job! 715 00:40:35,060 --> 00:40:37,896 She wants to become an ex ex. Watch out! 716 00:40:39,481 --> 00:40:41,233 I do not know where he gets that stuff. 717 00:40:41,441 --> 00:40:42,317 Me neither. 718 00:40:42,526 --> 00:40:44,611 He obviously needs authority. 719 00:40:44,820 --> 00:40:47,573 It's just kiddie talk. Better laugh with it. 720 00:40:47,781 --> 00:40:50,200 If that makes you laugh, you're welcome to have fun alone. 721 00:40:50,409 --> 00:40:51,368 But...! 722 00:40:51,577 --> 00:40:53,579 I'm going. I'll get a "job" somewhere else. 723 00:41:07,384 --> 00:41:09,678 Do you want chicken, Titeuf? 724 00:41:09,887 --> 00:41:12,264 I'm wearing my brown pajamas. 725 00:41:12,472 --> 00:41:14,766 Do you want to hire me? 726 00:41:14,975 --> 00:41:16,768 Yeah, why not. 727 00:41:25,068 --> 00:41:29,448 Girls don't play with Lego 728 00:41:29,656 --> 00:41:33,202 They can't make the sound of a motorbike with their mouths 729 00:41:34,786 --> 00:41:39,875 They never make noise with their asses 730 00:41:40,667 --> 00:41:42,878 What's the point? 731 00:41:44,755 --> 00:41:49,384 Girls don't like TV 732 00:41:49,593 --> 00:41:53,096 They don't understand karate movies 733 00:41:53,305 --> 00:41:57,559 During football matches, they forget to cheer 734 00:42:00,395 --> 00:42:02,606 Oh, what a pity! 735 00:42:04,608 --> 00:42:06,902 What's the point? 736 00:42:09,571 --> 00:42:12,449 What's the point? 737 00:42:14,243 --> 00:42:17,996 Girls lock themselves in the bathroom 738 00:42:18,205 --> 00:42:20,249 With all kinds of ointments 739 00:42:20,457 --> 00:42:23,836 Of which I don't know anything 740 00:42:24,044 --> 00:42:28,048 Girls never stay long with me 741 00:42:30,008 --> 00:42:32,594 I don't know why. 742 00:42:38,559 --> 00:42:40,435 And then the lady left. 743 00:42:40,644 --> 00:42:44,439 "I'll get a job somewhere else," she said. Offyougo! Released! 744 00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:48,485 Your dad invited that woman to make love to her. 745 00:42:48,694 --> 00:42:51,989 Not at all, it was just for dinner. They had chicken. 746 00:42:52,197 --> 00:42:53,824 Well yeah, duh. 747 00:42:54,032 --> 00:42:56,577 But afterwards it's "Oh yes! Oh yes!" On the couch! 748 00:42:56,785 --> 00:43:00,455 Stop saying that! My dad isn't a pervert. 749 00:43:00,664 --> 00:43:01,915 "Oh yes! Oh yes!" 750 00:43:03,458 --> 00:43:05,002 Are you gonna shut up?! 751 00:43:05,210 --> 00:43:08,130 Son of a pervert! Shut up, assface! 752 00:43:08,839 --> 00:43:11,133 You're lucky I'm out of shape! 753 00:43:11,341 --> 00:43:13,385 "Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh yes!" 754 00:43:13,594 --> 00:43:18,056 They ate chicken! Chicken with spermatozoids! 755 00:43:19,683 --> 00:43:21,059 You're a fool. 756 00:43:21,268 --> 00:43:23,228 With divorced parents... 757 00:43:23,437 --> 00:43:26,148 ... you get a stepmother, a stepfather and more. 758 00:43:26,356 --> 00:43:29,943 If they like you, they'll shower you with gifts. 759 00:43:30,152 --> 00:43:31,069 Mega balls! 760 00:43:31,278 --> 00:43:33,447 You just chased away your future stepmother. 761 00:43:33,822 --> 00:43:36,783 Don't complain if she buys you an educational game. 762 00:43:41,079 --> 00:43:43,123 Is it a Playstation? 763 00:43:45,042 --> 00:43:46,877 Ah... It... 764 00:43:47,544 --> 00:43:48,587 It's made of wood. 765 00:43:48,795 --> 00:43:50,297 An excellent early-learning game! 766 00:43:50,506 --> 00:43:54,092 Recommended for the development of the mobility and prehension... 767 00:43:54,301 --> 00:43:55,844 ... of badly behaved children! 768 00:43:57,387 --> 00:43:58,430 Forget it! 769 00:43:58,639 --> 00:44:01,850 You can always try catching up with your parents. 770 00:44:02,059 --> 00:44:03,143 Come again? 771 00:44:03,352 --> 00:44:06,647 Tell your mother that you got wrote her love letter. 772 00:44:06,855 --> 00:44:09,066 And that there's no secret lover. 773 00:44:09,274 --> 00:44:11,777 Oh... she won't like that. 774 00:44:11,985 --> 00:44:14,238 Well, no. But you've got no choice. 775 00:44:14,446 --> 00:44:16,240 Ok. I'll do it. 776 00:44:16,448 --> 00:44:19,243 And Nadia? Still not invited? 777 00:44:19,451 --> 00:44:22,955 No. She takes her time, thinking about it. 778 00:44:23,163 --> 00:44:25,499 She doesn't know what she wants. 779 00:44:25,707 --> 00:44:28,377 Do you think she'll go to your grandma? 780 00:44:28,752 --> 00:44:30,295 What's going on? 781 00:44:30,504 --> 00:44:33,465 It's Sandrine. She's gonna show us her tits! 782 00:44:35,384 --> 00:44:36,385 Can I see them? 783 00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:37,886 One euro per person. 784 00:44:38,095 --> 00:44:39,304 One euro? 785 00:44:39,513 --> 00:44:41,640 You're not a supermodel, dammit! 786 00:44:41,849 --> 00:44:44,226 The top models, you see them on posters. 787 00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:45,936 Me, my tits, it's a euro. 788 00:44:46,144 --> 00:44:48,480 If you're not happy with that, go play with your marbles. 789 00:44:48,689 --> 00:44:52,317 No, no! He's happy with it. And he sucks at marbles. 790 00:44:54,528 --> 00:44:55,779 Away with you! 791 00:44:55,988 --> 00:44:58,699 I can pay you with pills against nausea. 792 00:44:58,907 --> 00:45:00,033 Scram! 793 00:45:00,534 --> 00:45:03,412 Your loss. They're really effective. 794 00:45:04,872 --> 00:45:07,958 Well, are you ready? Feast your eyes! 795 00:45:08,542 --> 00:45:10,377 Ooohh! 796 00:45:10,586 --> 00:45:13,547 Oh, that's cheating! You don't even have tits! 797 00:45:13,755 --> 00:45:15,048 Give me back my euro! 798 00:45:16,425 --> 00:45:17,801 What an idiot! 799 00:45:18,010 --> 00:45:20,053 It's true, we got ripped off! 800 00:45:20,262 --> 00:45:22,264 She doesn't have bigger tits than me. 801 00:45:22,472 --> 00:45:23,348 Look. 802 00:45:23,557 --> 00:45:26,226 You don't know anything about inner beauty. 803 00:45:26,435 --> 00:45:27,853 One must learn to observe. 804 00:45:28,061 --> 00:45:30,355 You're all completely retarded! 805 00:45:30,564 --> 00:45:33,483 There's isn't any inner beauty underneath Sandrine's sweater. 806 00:45:33,692 --> 00:45:35,694 She just nicked 4 euros from us. 807 00:45:35,903 --> 00:45:39,114 She has inner beauty. You're talking crap. 808 00:45:39,323 --> 00:45:41,742 That's why you're not invited to Nadia's party. 809 00:45:41,950 --> 00:45:44,578 And that's why your mother is gone, too. 810 00:45:44,786 --> 00:45:47,706 Doesn't matter! At least my mom has boobs! 811 00:45:47,915 --> 00:45:50,250 Forget it, you suck! 812 00:45:50,918 --> 00:45:51,919 Hey, Nadia! 813 00:45:52,127 --> 00:45:53,504 You wanna play? 814 00:45:53,712 --> 00:45:56,298 A game where you have to burp? No! 815 00:45:56,507 --> 00:46:00,219 No, it's a psycho-ecological game. You look at ink blots... 816 00:46:00,427 --> 00:46:03,388 ... and you guess what it evokes in the inside of your brain. 817 00:46:04,223 --> 00:46:08,143 And what's more, it allows you to see clearly what's going on in your subconscious. 818 00:46:08,352 --> 00:46:09,478 Look carefully. 819 00:46:10,771 --> 00:46:12,439 Attention ... 820 00:46:12,940 --> 00:46:14,149 Oh! Aah! 821 00:46:17,694 --> 00:46:18,904 Whoa! 822 00:46:19,112 --> 00:46:22,032 It's killer, this subconscious trick! 823 00:46:22,241 --> 00:46:24,076 I recognize Nadia's hand. 824 00:46:24,701 --> 00:46:27,162 Ooh... this isn't fair! 825 00:46:30,749 --> 00:46:32,835 You must get off at Bregogne. 826 00:46:33,043 --> 00:46:35,921 Why didn't mom come to pick me up? 827 00:46:36,129 --> 00:46:37,506 She'll be waiting for you there. 828 00:46:37,714 --> 00:46:40,300 You're a big boy now, right? 829 00:46:42,386 --> 00:46:45,097 Well, gotta go. You got your ticket, your bag... 830 00:46:45,305 --> 00:46:47,140 I'm good, dad. 831 00:46:55,315 --> 00:46:57,442 You're a big boy now, right? 832 00:46:57,651 --> 00:46:59,778 I'll pick you up on sunday. 833 00:47:00,445 --> 00:47:03,198 You go off to Bregogne, understood? 834 00:47:11,582 --> 00:47:14,042 Eh... thank you for being silent. 835 00:47:15,919 --> 00:47:21,049 Please make your phone calls outside the compartments. 836 00:47:23,302 --> 00:47:24,469 Do you hear me? 837 00:47:24,678 --> 00:47:26,305 Hello? Fifi! 838 00:48:13,519 --> 00:48:17,314 I've seen the miles pass by. It hasn't always been easy. 839 00:48:17,523 --> 00:48:19,233 Tossed back and forth between parents... 840 00:48:19,441 --> 00:48:22,736 ... thrown into wagons. Alone on the road. 841 00:48:22,945 --> 00:48:24,571 Yeah ... 842 00:48:24,780 --> 00:48:26,698 The tracks that pass 843 00:48:26,907 --> 00:48:29,660 Have worn my eyes 844 00:48:31,787 --> 00:48:35,707 I live nowhere and it may be for the best 845 00:48:39,586 --> 00:48:43,090 The train that takes me away doesn't stop 846 00:48:46,218 --> 00:48:50,848 I've gambled with my life And I lost 847 00:48:53,684 --> 00:48:57,938 The train rolls forward with you on board 848 00:49:01,149 --> 00:49:04,736 The wind whistles in the night 849 00:49:07,531 --> 00:49:09,157 Forget your doubts 850 00:49:10,742 --> 00:49:13,620 Forget your certainties 851 00:49:14,663 --> 00:49:19,001 Hang on, little one The road is your only friend 852 00:49:26,466 --> 00:49:31,346 I went through so many cities in the fog 853 00:49:33,515 --> 00:49:38,020 I left so many girls in tears on station platforms 854 00:49:40,731 --> 00:49:46,320 I've got nothing left but my guitar 855 00:49:46,945 --> 00:49:47,988 Yeah! 856 00:49:48,530 --> 00:49:53,202 A pair of worn boots and black sunglasses 857 00:50:26,527 --> 00:50:27,402 What? 858 00:50:28,153 --> 00:50:29,238 Bregogne. 859 00:50:29,446 --> 00:50:31,365 Stopping for two minutes. 860 00:50:33,992 --> 00:50:38,497 The road is your only friend 861 00:50:40,499 --> 00:50:41,291 My darling! 862 00:50:45,003 --> 00:50:46,588 Did you have a good trip? 863 00:50:46,797 --> 00:50:48,507 Wasn't it too long? 864 00:50:48,715 --> 00:50:49,800 Too long? 865 00:50:50,008 --> 00:50:53,887 It's never too long when the road is your only friend. 866 00:50:54,096 --> 00:50:57,683 "Your only friend." What is that? Another one of your stories! 867 00:50:58,433 --> 00:50:59,726 Do your eyes hurt? 868 00:50:59,935 --> 00:51:01,520 No, no. 869 00:51:02,354 --> 00:51:06,984 His eyes hurt because you let him play that Game thing too much. 870 00:51:07,192 --> 00:51:09,027 They're so stupid, those girls. 871 00:51:17,911 --> 00:51:20,247 Where did she put it? 872 00:51:20,455 --> 00:51:23,584 It's organized worse than my room at home! 873 00:51:23,792 --> 00:51:25,502 Looking for something? 874 00:51:25,711 --> 00:51:28,046 What? Uh... no. 875 00:51:28,255 --> 00:51:33,760 Nothing, grandpa. I just wanted to know if mom had found my... 876 00:51:33,969 --> 00:51:36,221 One loses everything in this house. 877 00:51:37,222 --> 00:51:38,724 I can't... 878 00:51:38,932 --> 00:51:41,685 ...remember where I put my glasses. 879 00:51:49,193 --> 00:51:50,736 Purdy drawing! 880 00:51:50,944 --> 00:51:53,989 Yeah. Very purdy drawing, Zizie. 881 00:51:54,198 --> 00:51:57,201 But I've got something to do. I'm on an important mission. 882 00:51:57,409 --> 00:51:58,619 I... 883 00:52:00,037 --> 00:52:00,829 Purdy! 884 00:52:01,997 --> 00:52:03,081 My love letter! 885 00:52:03,832 --> 00:52:04,917 Where did you get that? 886 00:52:07,336 --> 00:52:09,004 Give her back her paper. 887 00:52:09,213 --> 00:52:10,464 But Mom, it's... 888 00:52:10,672 --> 00:52:12,508 Come on, Titeuf! 889 00:52:12,716 --> 00:52:16,762 It's an old shopping list I had in my bag. 890 00:52:16,970 --> 00:52:21,850 Mom! Did you read... this shopping list? 891 00:52:22,059 --> 00:52:24,269 What does it matter? 892 00:52:24,478 --> 00:52:28,023 But mom! Where did Zizie find it? 893 00:52:28,232 --> 00:52:30,108 I don't care! 894 00:52:30,859 --> 00:52:34,446 So your cheeks, they've never been meteorites? 895 00:52:34,655 --> 00:52:35,322 -hat? 896 00:52:35,531 --> 00:52:38,200 I mean,I wanted to ask... You didn't read it? 897 00:52:38,408 --> 00:52:40,369 You've watched too much TV. 898 00:52:40,577 --> 00:52:44,540 The countryside will clear your head. It'll do you good. 899 00:52:46,083 --> 00:52:47,668 I was worried for nothing! 900 00:52:50,337 --> 00:52:53,549 But... why did she leave? 901 00:52:55,759 --> 00:52:57,135 Grandma? Yes? 902 00:52:57,344 --> 00:52:59,388 Why did mom leave? 903 00:52:59,596 --> 00:53:03,809 Oh dear! Those are grown-up matters, really. 904 00:53:04,601 --> 00:53:08,689 You know, sometimes, we need a little distance... 905 00:53:08,897 --> 00:53:12,359 ... to realize we still love each other. 906 00:53:12,568 --> 00:53:14,319 What do you mean by that? 907 00:53:16,905 --> 00:53:20,784 You mean they can see better closely, like Manu? 908 00:53:20,993 --> 00:53:23,036 In a way, yes. 909 00:53:23,245 --> 00:53:25,789 Manu he should lend them his glasses. 910 00:53:30,502 --> 00:53:32,671 Oh! That doesn't work. 911 00:53:34,006 --> 00:53:35,799 What's for dinner? 912 00:53:36,008 --> 00:53:38,177 I'm making mashed potatoes. 913 00:53:38,385 --> 00:53:42,598 Yuck, mashed potatoes again! Always mashed potatoes! 914 00:53:42,806 --> 00:53:46,059 It's very nutritious and it's easy to chew, too. 915 00:53:46,810 --> 00:53:49,938 Can't we have fries for a change? 916 00:53:50,147 --> 00:53:52,941 Just tell yourself that mashed potatoes are just soft fries. 917 00:53:53,150 --> 00:53:54,359 Uh... ok. 918 00:53:54,568 --> 00:53:57,988 I can also tell myself that I'm married to Monica Bellucci. 919 00:53:58,197 --> 00:53:59,406 But soft! 920 00:53:59,615 --> 00:54:04,119 Oh sure! Monica Bellucci marries an old dinosaur with a mustache! 921 00:54:04,328 --> 00:54:06,914 You used to like my mustache. 922 00:54:07,122 --> 00:54:09,875 As you say, I used to. 923 00:54:10,083 --> 00:54:12,920 In any case, mashed potatoes, they don't go down well. 924 00:54:13,128 --> 00:54:14,588 What, old timer? 925 00:54:14,796 --> 00:54:16,298 And they make you deaf too! 926 00:54:16,507 --> 00:54:19,593 He doesn't understand that it's because of his missing teeth. 927 00:54:19,801 --> 00:54:22,721 I prefer to talk to my zucchini! 928 00:54:22,930 --> 00:54:26,475 That's it, my love. Your vegetables, they'll understand you. 929 00:54:26,683 --> 00:54:27,684 Bullshit! 930 00:54:29,102 --> 00:54:31,897 Pfff... even with glasses... 931 00:54:32,105 --> 00:54:34,942 ... being an adult is really hard. 932 00:54:37,653 --> 00:54:39,071 Come see, Titeuf! 933 00:54:39,279 --> 00:54:40,822 Hmm...? 934 00:54:43,116 --> 00:54:46,870 Look how beautiful it is, all this nature! 935 00:54:47,329 --> 00:54:48,372 Yeah... 936 00:54:50,999 --> 00:54:52,709 It's really great, mom. 937 00:54:53,544 --> 00:54:55,337 Can I go watch Mugulator? 938 00:54:55,838 --> 00:55:00,050 Just admire the beauty. You won't find this in Mugulator. 939 00:55:00,259 --> 00:55:02,553 Yeah. Well, fortunately... 940 00:55:02,761 --> 00:55:06,974 When I was a little girl, I thought I would spend my entire life here. 941 00:55:08,183 --> 00:55:09,935 And then you chose daddy? 942 00:55:14,231 --> 00:55:15,732 Have you been thinking? 943 00:55:16,608 --> 00:55:19,903 I need more time to know where I am. 944 00:55:20,112 --> 00:55:21,405 Do you still love dad? 945 00:55:22,698 --> 00:55:24,032 I don't know. 946 00:55:24,241 --> 00:55:25,993 So, you prefer the chickens? 947 00:55:26,201 --> 00:55:28,287 No. 948 00:55:28,662 --> 00:55:31,331 Are you gonna have a new husband? 949 00:55:32,791 --> 00:55:34,501 That's not the point. 950 00:55:34,710 --> 00:55:36,795 In any case, you failed for the test. 951 00:55:37,004 --> 00:55:39,214 Who's the man of your dreams? 952 00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:41,091 Titeuf... 953 00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:43,302 Come on, mom, tell me! 954 00:55:46,180 --> 00:55:49,600 The man of my dreams, for the moment, it's Fido. 955 00:55:53,020 --> 00:55:55,522 The horror! My future stepfather... 956 00:55:55,731 --> 00:55:59,234 ... it's a dog! That was worth all the thinking! 957 00:55:59,443 --> 00:56:02,321 There goes my reputation. A dog! 958 00:56:02,529 --> 00:56:05,157 It's gonna be classy! Nadia, I want you to meet... 959 00:56:05,365 --> 00:56:06,909 ... my parents. 960 00:56:09,703 --> 00:56:11,496 Grown-ups are such idiots! 961 00:56:13,790 --> 00:56:17,669 They think they can treat me like... 962 00:56:17,878 --> 00:56:18,879 ... shit? 963 00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:32,059 That stench... What did you do? 964 00:56:32,267 --> 00:56:35,145 Nothing. I talked to a cow. 965 00:56:35,354 --> 00:56:36,313 A cow? 966 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:39,942 You should talk to your shrink instead. 967 00:56:40,150 --> 00:56:41,527 Yeah, yeah... 968 00:56:42,528 --> 00:56:45,155 Did you find a new woman yet? What? 969 00:56:45,364 --> 00:56:46,532 Is she a bitch? 970 00:56:46,740 --> 00:56:48,825 What did you say? 971 00:56:49,034 --> 00:56:50,410 What do you think? 972 00:56:50,619 --> 00:56:53,747 This weekend, I cleaned the flat, did the laundry... 973 00:56:53,956 --> 00:56:56,750 Ah... grown-ups. Deal with it. 974 00:56:56,959 --> 00:57:01,046 As for me, I still have 5 days before Nadia's birthday party. 975 00:57:01,964 --> 00:57:03,507 Next! 976 00:57:04,508 --> 00:57:05,384 Next. 977 00:57:09,596 --> 00:57:11,473 I'm not in good shape... 978 00:57:11,682 --> 00:57:13,600 ... since my mother left. 979 00:57:13,809 --> 00:57:15,811 Me too, my father is away. 980 00:57:16,019 --> 00:57:18,647 But that's no reason to suck at gym! 981 00:57:18,856 --> 00:57:21,608 Whoa! She mega-owned you! 982 00:57:21,817 --> 00:57:23,777 Go on, try again. Show her! 983 00:57:23,986 --> 00:57:26,280 I don't feel like it. Not today. 984 00:57:26,488 --> 00:57:27,406 Come on! 985 00:57:27,614 --> 00:57:29,658 What did Nadia say? 986 00:57:31,118 --> 00:57:32,995 Me too, my father is away. 987 00:57:33,203 --> 00:57:34,955 My father is away. 988 00:57:35,163 --> 00:57:35,831 Away. 989 00:57:36,039 --> 00:57:38,542 Her father is gone! 990 00:57:40,961 --> 00:57:41,837 Aww! 991 00:57:42,254 --> 00:57:44,089 How are you? Hyper-well! 992 00:57:44,298 --> 00:57:48,635 I have a plan. A giga top super balls plan! 993 00:57:48,844 --> 00:57:51,680 A plan to get invited? 994 00:57:51,889 --> 00:57:54,391 Even better. To get invited .. 995 00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,394 ... and to live with Nadia. 996 00:57:57,936 --> 00:58:00,105 I don't believe it! 997 00:58:00,314 --> 00:58:02,441 You're going to live with Nadia? 998 00:58:02,649 --> 00:58:04,943 It's not official yet. So, hush! 999 00:58:05,152 --> 00:58:07,196 Because I'm a troubled child... 1000 00:58:07,404 --> 00:58:10,532 ... finding stability in love will do me good. 1001 00:58:10,741 --> 00:58:11,950 Wow Whoa! 1002 00:58:12,159 --> 00:58:13,994 You're gonna give her a French kiff? 1003 00:58:14,203 --> 00:58:15,704 Oh! How would that work? 1004 00:58:16,413 --> 00:58:19,458 When you do a French kiss, you must never be lower than the girl. 1005 00:58:19,666 --> 00:58:22,044 If you are, her drool runs into your mouth. 1006 00:58:22,252 --> 00:58:23,045 Yuck! 1007 00:58:23,253 --> 00:58:24,963 Stay above her a little bit. 1008 00:58:25,172 --> 00:58:27,925 That, or keep your mouth shut. 1009 00:58:29,384 --> 00:58:31,136 Yes, I know all that. 1010 00:58:31,345 --> 00:58:34,014 You wouldn't even dare to kiss a girl! 1011 00:58:34,223 --> 00:58:37,267 I kiss better than you! Yeah? Show us! 1012 00:58:37,476 --> 00:58:38,602 Can I try? 1013 00:58:38,810 --> 00:58:40,395 Get lost, Vomito! 1014 00:58:41,772 --> 00:58:45,275 Oh yes, I'm gonna kiss you, Nadia! 1015 00:58:50,072 --> 00:58:54,076 Yuck! I hope she'll taste better than that. 1016 00:58:54,284 --> 00:58:55,494 You ready, Manu? 1017 00:58:55,702 --> 00:58:57,120 Let's go. 1018 00:59:00,457 --> 00:59:04,711 Oh! Who made my sock all wet? 1019 00:59:05,212 --> 00:59:09,258 You really need to do this, she hyper-needs your help! 1020 00:59:09,466 --> 00:59:12,803 What do you want me to do to help Nadia's mother? 1021 00:59:13,470 --> 00:59:17,558 You could open packets of crisps or bottles. 1022 00:59:17,766 --> 00:59:19,309 She asked that? 1023 00:59:19,518 --> 00:59:23,313 She didn't ask for it. But I sensed... 1024 00:59:23,522 --> 00:59:25,649 It's another one of your silly stories. 1025 00:59:25,858 --> 00:59:29,111 Dad, please! If you do it, you save my life! 1026 00:59:29,862 --> 00:59:31,196 Well, okay then. 1027 00:59:31,405 --> 00:59:34,783 Oh, thank you, thank you... Thanks, papa! 1028 00:59:38,745 --> 00:59:42,541 How do you know your dad will like Nadia's mom? 1029 00:59:42,749 --> 00:59:45,294 Well... she'll make him like her by force. 1030 00:59:45,502 --> 00:59:47,504 It's called genetics. 1031 00:59:47,713 --> 00:59:51,049 Yeah. But if there's no love at first sight? 1032 00:59:51,258 --> 00:59:53,010 I'll put on the music. 1033 00:59:53,218 --> 00:59:56,430 Like they do in the movies, when they fall in love. 1034 00:59:56,638 --> 00:59:57,806 Yeah, right. 1035 00:59:58,557 --> 01:00:00,976 Will you lend me your CD player? 1036 01:00:01,185 --> 01:00:01,894 Pfff! 1037 01:00:02,102 --> 01:00:04,563 Come on! It's a matter of life and death. 1038 01:00:04,771 --> 01:00:07,357 OK. But don't break it! 1039 01:00:07,566 --> 01:00:09,526 And your girly CD. 1040 01:00:09,735 --> 01:00:11,320 I don't have a girly CD! 1041 01:00:11,528 --> 01:00:12,487 Of course you do. 1042 01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:17,075 It's not girly. It's is the Best of Princess Clara. 1043 01:00:17,284 --> 01:00:21,205 Yeah, well, okay. The Pinch-ass Clara CD. 1044 01:00:21,413 --> 01:00:24,333 Are you gonna invite me when you're living with Nadia? 1045 01:00:24,541 --> 01:00:25,584 Of course! 1046 01:00:28,170 --> 01:00:29,546 Dad, you ready? 1047 01:00:30,255 --> 01:00:31,256 For what? 1048 01:00:31,465 --> 01:00:33,759 You know... to meet Nadia's mom. 1049 01:00:33,967 --> 01:00:35,928 Aaahhh... Yeah, yeah. 1050 01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:37,930 Okay, let's go. 1051 01:00:38,430 --> 01:00:40,516 You can't go dressed like that! 1052 01:00:40,724 --> 01:00:41,517 How do you mean? 1053 01:00:41,725 --> 01:00:44,603 Get changed! We're not putting the garbage out! 1054 01:00:44,811 --> 01:00:46,605 But we will, in the future... 1055 01:00:46,813 --> 01:00:49,775 Okay, calm down. I'll get dressed. 1056 01:00:50,943 --> 01:00:53,070 What's that you're carrying around? 1057 01:00:53,278 --> 01:00:56,073 It's for setting the mood. Don't worry. 1058 01:00:59,117 --> 01:01:01,620 Oh, hi, Titeuf. Hello, sir. 1059 01:01:01,828 --> 01:01:03,830 Good evening. Uh... Titeuf... 1060 01:01:04,039 --> 01:01:06,708 Then we add the pork meat... 1061 01:01:06,917 --> 01:01:09,294 I'm here for the Nadia's birthday. 1062 01:01:09,503 --> 01:01:12,673 Titeuf told me... 1063 01:01:14,383 --> 01:01:18,095 You need some help... She's good! 1064 01:01:18,303 --> 01:01:20,013 That's nice. 1065 01:01:20,222 --> 01:01:23,058 I'll tell her friend's mother. 1066 01:01:23,267 --> 01:01:26,019 They're celebrating their birthday together. 1067 01:01:26,228 --> 01:01:29,356 I'll call her. Oh no! Not Dumbo's mom! 1068 01:01:29,565 --> 01:01:32,776 In any case, it's very nice of you. 1069 01:01:32,985 --> 01:01:34,611 See you soon, then. 1070 01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:36,154 See you soon. 1071 01:01:36,363 --> 01:01:37,197 Come on! 1072 01:01:38,866 --> 01:01:40,117 Turn that music off. 1073 01:01:41,368 --> 01:01:42,661 Shut up! 1074 01:01:45,622 --> 01:01:47,708 It's bloody disgusting to do that! 1075 01:01:47,916 --> 01:01:50,752 And what if your mother wants to come back to your father? 1076 01:01:50,961 --> 01:01:53,338 But no. My mother wants to think. 1077 01:01:53,547 --> 01:01:56,049 She'll find another husband. 1078 01:01:56,258 --> 01:01:58,260 She thinks Fido is the right one. 1079 01:01:58,468 --> 01:01:59,428 Fido? 1080 01:01:59,636 --> 01:02:03,140 Your mother is getting married to a guy named Fido? 1081 01:02:03,348 --> 01:02:05,058 It's a dog's name! 1082 01:02:05,267 --> 01:02:08,896 Wait! It isn't his real name, it's a pseud-nonym. 1083 01:02:10,522 --> 01:02:13,066 Actually, he's a famous actor. 1084 01:02:13,275 --> 01:02:14,318 Wow! Whoa! 1085 01:02:14,526 --> 01:02:16,862 And he played in what, this Fido? 1086 01:02:17,070 --> 01:02:19,531 In... uh... in... 1087 01:02:19,740 --> 01:02:21,200 Yeah, okay! 1088 01:02:21,408 --> 01:02:23,076 It's a nobody! 1089 01:02:23,285 --> 01:02:24,995 He hasn't been in anything! 1090 01:02:25,204 --> 01:02:26,914 Not at all! 1091 01:02:27,122 --> 01:02:28,540 He played in... 1092 01:02:28,749 --> 01:02:29,917 ... Terminator. 1093 01:02:30,125 --> 01:02:33,712 Terminator? That's Schwarzenegger, you moron! 1094 01:02:33,921 --> 01:02:37,549 But it's him. He calls himself Fido, just to be left alone. 1095 01:02:37,758 --> 01:02:38,800 Do you get it? 1096 01:02:39,009 --> 01:02:41,595 Yeah... maybe. 1097 01:02:41,803 --> 01:02:45,807 And if your father puts a spermatozomide in Nadia's mom? 1098 01:02:46,016 --> 01:02:47,351 You thought of that? 1099 01:02:47,559 --> 01:02:48,352 Uh... 1100 01:02:48,560 --> 01:02:50,562 You'll have a little sister... 1101 01:02:50,771 --> 01:02:53,899 ... with Nadia's head and your wick! 1102 01:02:54,107 --> 01:02:58,403 And your mother will have a baby with Schwarzenegger! What a family! 1103 01:02:58,612 --> 01:02:59,613 Horrible! 1104 01:02:59,821 --> 01:03:01,990 Your mother is gonna marry Ffffwarfenegger? 1105 01:03:02,199 --> 01:03:04,368 Do we get free movie tickets? 1106 01:03:04,576 --> 01:03:07,871 Yes. You may even get you a part in Jurassic Park 5... 1107 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:09,831 ... with your Velociraptor mug! 1108 01:03:10,415 --> 01:03:13,794 And you can get married to a movie ffstar... 1109 01:03:14,002 --> 01:03:17,339 ... one that plays the role of Frankenftein! 1110 01:03:21,969 --> 01:03:26,223 Don't let the space Zblogs annihilate you! 1111 01:03:26,431 --> 01:03:28,141 You're looking for a gift for me? 1112 01:03:29,268 --> 01:03:31,895 Uh... A gi... gi... 1113 01:03:32,104 --> 01:03:33,856 A gift? Uh... 1114 01:03:34,064 --> 01:03:37,442 Nadia decided to invite you to our birthday party. 1115 01:03:37,651 --> 01:03:39,778 Because your father was so nice. 1116 01:03:39,987 --> 01:03:40,821 Really? 1117 01:03:41,029 --> 01:03:45,117 Well, it's her mother who thought he was nice. Very nice. 1118 01:03:47,828 --> 01:03:48,662 Is that so? 1119 01:03:48,871 --> 01:03:50,497 Ok, see you. 1120 01:03:52,916 --> 01:03:56,003 I hope you're as generous as your father. 1121 01:03:57,337 --> 01:04:00,674 You have reached level 3, mugul soldier. 1122 01:04:00,883 --> 01:04:01,800 Yes! 1123 01:04:02,551 --> 01:04:04,887 That's it! I'm invited! 1124 01:04:05,095 --> 01:04:08,140 It worked! Music, my dad, the whole thing! 1125 01:04:08,348 --> 01:04:09,600 You rock! 1126 01:04:09,808 --> 01:04:10,976 Yeah! 1127 01:04:11,185 --> 01:04:13,437 But now I gotta buy a gift... 1128 01:04:13,645 --> 01:04:16,064 ... for that other mutant from the planet Radar. 1129 01:04:16,273 --> 01:04:16,982 Yeah... 1130 01:04:17,191 --> 01:04:18,650 And Nadia. 1131 01:04:18,859 --> 01:04:20,277 True. 1132 01:04:21,278 --> 01:04:23,405 What did you buy? 1133 01:04:23,614 --> 01:04:27,618 I bought them one My Little Pony sock each. 1134 01:04:27,826 --> 01:04:31,997 They are celebrating their birthday together, so they share the gift. 1135 01:04:32,206 --> 01:04:33,665 Right, that's not bad. 1136 01:04:38,212 --> 01:04:40,672 What are you gonna buy for Nadia? 1137 01:04:40,881 --> 01:04:44,593 I'll buy her a necklace, like in those American movies. 1138 01:04:44,801 --> 01:04:47,721 A necklace and after that, the girl is yours. 1139 01:04:47,930 --> 01:04:50,265 Whoa! Like dogs? 1140 01:04:50,474 --> 01:04:51,308 Right. 1141 01:04:53,977 --> 01:04:54,770 What? 1142 01:04:54,978 --> 01:04:57,481 Don't you wanna buy new shoes? 1143 01:04:57,689 --> 01:04:59,274 Well, no, why? 1144 01:04:59,483 --> 01:05:01,151 Uh... nothing. 1145 01:05:06,740 --> 01:05:08,867 No touching! 1146 01:05:09,076 --> 01:05:11,328 No problem. I want that one. 1147 01:05:12,913 --> 01:05:17,835 That's 18-carat gold, boy. It's a bit expensive, you know. 1148 01:05:18,627 --> 01:05:22,130 Nothing is too expensive for Nadia. Uh... How much? 1149 01:05:23,090 --> 01:05:24,216 850 euros. 1150 01:05:25,092 --> 01:05:28,345 Do you have the same in 18-carat plastic? 1151 01:05:28,554 --> 01:05:29,346 Tsssiiit! 1152 01:05:29,555 --> 01:05:31,598 Or with less carats? 1153 01:05:35,143 --> 01:05:38,146 Let's find something that suits your budget. There! 1154 01:05:40,607 --> 01:05:41,733 You sure? 1155 01:05:41,942 --> 01:05:45,070 Absolutely. Girls like humor. 1156 01:05:45,279 --> 01:05:46,530 But... 1157 01:05:46,738 --> 01:05:48,657 And mystery! 1158 01:05:48,866 --> 01:05:50,742 Manu, look at this! 1159 01:05:51,326 --> 01:05:52,536 Whoa! 1160 01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,997 And it's perfumed, too! 1161 01:05:55,205 --> 01:05:57,249 So classy! 1162 01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:01,086 She's gonna lose it when she opens it! 1163 01:06:01,295 --> 01:06:04,840 That's for sure. And then you make your statement. 1164 01:06:05,048 --> 01:06:06,175 My statement? 1165 01:06:06,383 --> 01:06:09,178 You must say "I love you" or something like that. 1166 01:06:09,386 --> 01:06:11,680 Girls don't understand if you don't. 1167 01:06:11,889 --> 01:06:14,183 She won't understand if I give her the necklace? 1168 01:06:14,391 --> 01:06:17,561 No! You must bring in the heavy artillery! 1169 01:06:17,769 --> 01:06:21,315 The caress of the ear, the blink of the eye, all that. 1170 01:06:22,149 --> 01:06:24,151 The caress of the ear? 1171 01:06:24,359 --> 01:06:26,028 Yes, like in the movies. 1172 01:06:26,236 --> 01:06:28,488 It's really sensual, the ear. 1173 01:06:28,697 --> 01:06:29,740 Really? 1174 01:06:30,782 --> 01:06:33,243 Dumbo, it is hyper sensual! 1175 01:06:33,452 --> 01:06:35,370 Ok then... I think. 1176 01:06:35,579 --> 01:06:38,207 You need a gift for the other one too. 1177 01:06:38,749 --> 01:06:40,083 A CD? 1178 01:06:41,084 --> 01:06:42,920 Are you nuts? Those are expensive! 1179 01:06:43,128 --> 01:06:45,047 I'm not gonna bankrupt myself for her. 1180 01:06:45,255 --> 01:06:48,300 Bah, and I do not know what she likes in the first place. 1181 01:06:48,842 --> 01:06:51,428 Buy Greg Lover or Richie Amor. 1182 01:06:51,637 --> 01:06:54,056 All girls love that stuff. 1183 01:06:54,264 --> 01:06:56,683 How do you know? 1184 01:06:56,892 --> 01:06:59,019 Someone told me. 1185 01:06:59,228 --> 01:07:00,521 Mmm ... 1186 01:07:00,729 --> 01:07:02,981 At this price, she'd better listen to it! 1187 01:07:03,190 --> 01:07:06,610 With those ears of her, I bet she can listen really well. 1188 01:07:07,236 --> 01:07:09,279 It's a good investment. 1189 01:07:09,696 --> 01:07:13,075 So, microbes? Do you have something for us? 1190 01:07:13,283 --> 01:07:14,326 Heh! Microbes! 1191 01:07:14,535 --> 01:07:15,577 What's that? 1192 01:07:15,786 --> 01:07:18,580 This time, they won't get my underwear! 1193 01:07:18,789 --> 01:07:20,874 What? Run, Manu! 1194 01:08:18,891 --> 01:08:20,142 What's that? 1195 01:08:20,350 --> 01:08:21,935 The gifts for the girls. 1196 01:08:22,144 --> 01:08:24,062 What did you buy? Ah! Ah! 1197 01:08:24,271 --> 01:08:28,108 I'm not telling. But it's hyper sensual stuff. 1198 01:08:28,317 --> 01:08:30,277 No girl can resist! 1199 01:08:30,485 --> 01:08:31,862 Come on, what is it? 1200 01:08:32,070 --> 01:08:36,658 If I tell you, you're gonna throw your gifts in the bin and cry. 1201 01:08:36,867 --> 01:08:37,743 Pfff! 1202 01:08:37,951 --> 01:08:39,578 I thought about your plan... 1203 01:08:39,786 --> 01:08:42,122 ... with your father and Nadia's mother. 1204 01:08:42,331 --> 01:08:44,625 Well, it's not a good plan. 1205 01:08:44,833 --> 01:08:47,961 If your father remarries Nadia's mom... 1206 01:08:48,170 --> 01:08:51,715 ... then Nadia will be your half-sister! 1207 01:08:51,924 --> 01:08:53,425 I know. So what? 1208 01:08:53,634 --> 01:08:56,595 You can't marry your half-sister. 1209 01:08:56,803 --> 01:08:59,097 Why not? 1210 01:08:59,306 --> 01:09:02,351 Because you can't do it. It's for-bid-den! 1211 01:09:02,559 --> 01:09:05,229 What? You just say that because you're jealous! 1212 01:09:05,437 --> 01:09:08,106 I've got a sister already! Zizie! 1213 01:09:08,315 --> 01:09:10,108 And that's more than enough, I assure you. 1214 01:09:10,317 --> 01:09:12,986 Well then, you'll have a zero-point-five sister! 1215 01:09:13,195 --> 01:09:16,323 And you can't marry a zero-point-five! 1216 01:09:16,532 --> 01:09:19,326 End of story, Mr. Sensual! 1217 01:09:19,535 --> 01:09:23,330 You're jealous because you've got rotten gifts! 1218 01:09:23,539 --> 01:09:26,291 And you don't even have a zero-point-five sister! 1219 01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:30,170 You're not allowed to marry! 1220 01:09:33,674 --> 01:09:35,259 Pfff... 1221 01:09:35,467 --> 01:09:38,387 You're not allowed to marry! 1222 01:09:38,595 --> 01:09:40,806 You're not allowed to marry! 1223 01:09:41,932 --> 01:09:44,810 You don't even have a zero-point-five sister! 1224 01:09:46,478 --> 01:09:51,400 You don't even have a zero-point-zero one! 1225 01:09:59,783 --> 01:10:01,410 Titeuf? 1226 01:10:01,618 --> 01:10:02,661 Titeuf? 1227 01:10:02,870 --> 01:10:03,704 You coming? 1228 01:10:03,912 --> 01:10:05,831 Your sister has something to say. 1229 01:10:06,039 --> 01:10:06,748 Uh... 1230 01:10:06,957 --> 01:10:08,417 Sister? 1231 01:10:08,625 --> 01:10:11,795 Yes. She wants to introduce us to her lover. 1232 01:10:18,552 --> 01:10:21,054 No, no, no, it isn't fair! 1233 01:10:21,263 --> 01:10:23,265 Why me? 1234 01:10:23,473 --> 01:10:24,975 But what...? 1235 01:10:39,907 --> 01:10:41,450 Aaahh! 1236 01:10:47,706 --> 01:10:52,294 Did you sleep well? I'm going to your friend's mom to set up the party. 1237 01:10:52,503 --> 01:10:53,921 See you there. 1238 01:10:54,129 --> 01:10:56,006 Wait, dad! Don't... 1239 01:10:56,215 --> 01:10:57,966 This isn't a good idea. 1240 01:10:58,175 --> 01:11:02,471 I don't want to be the point five of Nadia. Don't go! 1241 01:11:04,473 --> 01:11:06,141 Think about it, dad! 1242 01:11:06,350 --> 01:11:09,895 There will be Jean-Claude drooling and the dry cakes of Dumbo's mother... 1243 01:11:10,103 --> 01:11:11,730 What did you think of my shirt? 1244 01:11:12,064 --> 01:11:14,149 Super purple. 1245 01:11:27,246 --> 01:11:30,082 You're sure you can keep that inside? 1246 01:11:32,167 --> 01:11:34,878 Tell Puduk to stop farting! 1247 01:11:35,087 --> 01:11:36,505 Yuck! 1248 01:11:38,966 --> 01:11:39,967 Wanna dance? 1249 01:11:40,175 --> 01:11:42,010 I don't like dancing. 1250 01:11:42,219 --> 01:11:43,095 Oh... 1251 01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:46,640 Do you wanna dance? 1252 01:11:46,849 --> 01:11:48,684 No. I don't like music. 1253 01:11:48,892 --> 01:11:49,977 Me neither. 1254 01:11:56,191 --> 01:11:59,069 It's like I thought. Pretty lame. 1255 01:11:59,278 --> 01:12:00,737 Yeah, really. 1256 01:12:01,822 --> 01:12:04,157 You've seen the chips? There aren't anymore. 1257 01:12:04,366 --> 01:12:07,578 But there's this green stuff. Yeah, guacamole. 1258 01:12:07,786 --> 01:12:09,580 Burp! Ate too much chips! 1259 01:12:11,707 --> 01:12:15,294 Everything alright? It's so nice of you to help us out. 1260 01:12:19,423 --> 01:12:20,716 So, do you have fun? 1261 01:12:21,466 --> 01:12:24,553 Yes, my sister. Uh... Yes, of course! 1262 01:12:24,761 --> 01:12:26,555 Do you wanna dance? 1263 01:12:27,097 --> 01:12:28,515 Okay. 1264 01:12:39,484 --> 01:12:40,903 Everything ok, Titeuf? 1265 01:12:41,111 --> 01:12:43,614 Yes, it's the rhythm. 1266 01:12:43,822 --> 01:12:46,200 It does that when I dance. 1267 01:12:47,159 --> 01:12:51,413 When you're dancing to slow music, French kiss and bam, you're married! 1268 01:12:51,914 --> 01:12:53,248 Ah! 1269 01:12:54,082 --> 01:12:58,587 No, but... it's just, I prefer to dance alone. 1270 01:13:01,882 --> 01:13:05,344 I can't dance with my half-sister. It's forbidden. 1271 01:13:05,552 --> 01:13:08,597 What do you mean? She isn't your half-sister. 1272 01:13:08,805 --> 01:13:10,891 Your father hasn't put a ring on her mom's finger yet. 1273 01:13:11,099 --> 01:13:14,895 You can't force stuff like this. Maybe there are no good waves between them? 1274 01:13:15,604 --> 01:13:16,522 Brilliant! 1275 01:13:16,730 --> 01:13:19,066 Passion fruit? Orange juice? 1276 01:13:19,274 --> 01:13:20,984 Daddy! What do you want? 1277 01:13:21,193 --> 01:13:22,736 You have to leave... 1278 01:13:22,945 --> 01:13:26,198 Before your microwaves transform Nadia into a five-point. 1279 01:13:26,406 --> 01:13:27,324 Huh? 1280 01:13:27,533 --> 01:13:29,826 Are you done? It'f my turn! 1281 01:13:30,035 --> 01:13:31,411 What do you want, Dracula? 1282 01:13:31,620 --> 01:13:34,540 I'd like a cola, if poffible. 1283 01:13:35,666 --> 01:13:37,000 Here you are. 1284 01:13:37,209 --> 01:13:38,794 But what...? 1285 01:13:39,002 --> 01:13:40,379 What are you doing? 1286 01:13:40,587 --> 01:13:42,756 You're acting like a thug! 1287 01:13:42,965 --> 01:13:45,384 If you don't stop... Leave me alone! 1288 01:13:46,635 --> 01:13:48,762 Can I have my cola? 1289 01:13:50,347 --> 01:13:51,473 Yeah! 1290 01:13:53,684 --> 01:13:56,937 Madame. In all honesty, I need to tell you... 1291 01:13:57,145 --> 01:14:00,816 You must not accept a slow dance with my dad. 1292 01:14:01,024 --> 01:14:03,986 And never accept any of his spermatozomides. 1293 01:14:04,194 --> 01:14:07,155 Even if he helped you. Okay? 1294 01:14:07,990 --> 01:14:09,950 Not one spermatozomide! 1295 01:14:13,370 --> 01:14:15,455 That's it, I jammed the waves. 1296 01:14:15,664 --> 01:14:18,792 Pff! I'm hot. I'm going back to Nadia. 1297 01:14:27,885 --> 01:14:28,844 It's for you. 1298 01:14:30,387 --> 01:14:31,638 Uh... 1299 01:14:32,222 --> 01:14:33,390 With all my... 1300 01:14:34,057 --> 01:14:35,559 ...my heart. 1301 01:14:40,647 --> 01:14:43,066 A necklace... perfumed? 1302 01:14:44,484 --> 01:14:47,029 Eurk! Garlic! 1303 01:14:47,237 --> 01:14:49,448 Ah? That's garlic? 1304 01:14:49,656 --> 01:14:52,242 Do you... like garlic? 1305 01:14:52,451 --> 01:14:54,828 It's really good for your health. 1306 01:14:56,288 --> 01:14:57,831 From all my heart... 1307 01:14:58,040 --> 01:14:59,374 You're so sweet! 1308 01:14:59,583 --> 01:15:02,461 The Greg Lover CD I dreamed about! 1309 01:15:02,669 --> 01:15:05,047 It's so romantic! 1310 01:15:05,255 --> 01:15:06,298 No! I... 1311 01:15:06,507 --> 01:15:07,966 I'm gonna explain... 1312 01:15:15,098 --> 01:15:17,935 So, you're Titeuf's father, eh? 1313 01:15:18,143 --> 01:15:19,144 That's me. 1314 01:15:19,353 --> 01:15:21,104 I'm Nadia's father. 1315 01:15:21,313 --> 01:15:24,399 It's nice to help my wife when I'm on a business trip. 1316 01:15:24,608 --> 01:15:28,153 Oh! Well, it's nothing. It's natural. 1317 01:15:28,362 --> 01:15:31,240 It is syrup? Yes. Grenadi... 1318 01:15:34,409 --> 01:15:36,703 I tell you, this guy is deranged. 1319 01:15:36,912 --> 01:15:39,289 What the hell was that about? 1320 01:15:39,498 --> 01:15:40,999 Do you know anything about this? 1321 01:15:41,208 --> 01:15:42,000 No. 1322 01:15:43,752 --> 01:15:48,173 The stain on your shirt, can we show it to my shrink? 1323 01:16:01,770 --> 01:16:03,897 Papapa... 1324 01:16:04,106 --> 01:16:05,190 Titeuf! 1325 01:16:05,399 --> 01:16:06,400 Zizie? 1326 01:16:06,608 --> 01:16:07,651 Titeuf! 1327 01:16:07,860 --> 01:16:10,320 What are you doing here? 1328 01:16:10,529 --> 01:16:11,405 My darlings. 1329 01:16:13,574 --> 01:16:14,741 We're back. 1330 01:16:18,620 --> 01:16:19,788 I've been thinking. 1331 01:16:19,997 --> 01:16:22,916 And you're my favorite dirty beast. 1332 01:16:25,043 --> 01:16:27,504 I'm glad you're done thinking. 1333 01:16:28,297 --> 01:16:29,506 Me too. 1334 01:16:30,674 --> 01:16:32,134 The affair with Fido, is it over? 1335 01:16:32,342 --> 01:16:33,760 Who's this Fido? 1336 01:16:34,469 --> 01:16:35,929 Titeuf! 1337 01:16:36,513 --> 01:16:39,099 What happened to your shirt? 1338 01:16:39,308 --> 01:16:41,476 Oh, that's nothing. It... 1339 01:16:44,771 --> 01:16:46,398 Gross! 1340 01:16:47,441 --> 01:16:51,195 Come with me. I'll teach you how to destroy the Grand Mugul's soldiers. 1341 01:16:53,822 --> 01:16:54,907 Conclusion: 1342 01:16:55,115 --> 01:16:58,452 Mom didn't marry and actor or a dog. 1343 01:16:58,660 --> 01:17:00,746 I should try to understand. 1344 01:17:00,954 --> 01:17:04,541 They're like that, the grown-ups. They need to think. 1345 01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:08,629 Am I getting a kiss, Zizie? 1346 01:17:11,757 --> 01:17:13,717 Oh... Zizie! 1347 01:17:13,926 --> 01:17:16,803 She's spent too much time with the cows. 1348 01:17:17,012 --> 01:17:20,349 So that's it? Your mother is back with your father? 1349 01:17:20,557 --> 01:17:22,351 She dropped Fido? 1350 01:17:22,559 --> 01:17:25,270 My friends, they're just as stupid. 1351 01:17:25,479 --> 01:17:28,440 I don't underftand... Your father if a movie ftar? 1352 01:17:28,649 --> 01:17:29,816 Above all, Jean-Claude. 1353 01:17:30,025 --> 01:17:33,028 Those braces made his brain rust. 1354 01:17:42,079 --> 01:17:43,372 Manu has explained it. 1355 01:17:43,580 --> 01:17:46,375 What you have done to come to the party. 1356 01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:47,876 For your daddy too. 1357 01:17:48,085 --> 01:17:50,045 It's... a little weird... 1358 01:17:50,254 --> 01:17:52,256 ... but it's really generous. 1359 01:17:54,842 --> 01:17:58,262 I think it's pretty... brave, Titeuf. 1360 01:17:59,179 --> 01:18:02,057 I'm not wearing the necklace because of the smell... 1361 01:18:02,266 --> 01:18:04,017 ... but it's still pretty. 1362 01:18:04,226 --> 01:18:05,018 Oh? 1363 01:18:05,227 --> 01:18:10,232 Statement! Make your statement! 1364 01:18:10,440 --> 01:18:12,651 Caress her ear! 1365 01:18:14,653 --> 01:18:17,322 This time, I can't turn back! 1366 01:18:17,531 --> 01:18:20,284 It's now or never! 1367 01:18:35,799 --> 01:18:38,552 I've been thrown into a void. 1368 01:18:43,390 --> 01:18:46,727 It's like I saw my life pass before my eyes. 1369 01:18:53,483 --> 01:18:55,068 Oohhh! 1370 01:19:02,910 --> 01:19:03,702 Grand Mugul! 1371 01:19:03,911 --> 01:19:05,037 Help me! 1372 01:19:07,789 --> 01:19:08,498 Oh! 1373 01:19:09,958 --> 01:19:11,335 Hey, kid! 1374 01:19:12,044 --> 01:19:13,545 You have to do it alone. 1375 01:19:21,136 --> 01:19:23,597 Her ear is really sensual. 1376 01:19:30,979 --> 01:19:32,105 Nadia... 1377 01:19:33,065 --> 01:19:34,691 I... love you. 1378 01:19:35,442 --> 01:19:36,276 Yes? 1379 01:19:36,735 --> 01:19:38,654 What? Uh... 1380 01:19:39,238 --> 01:19:42,950 Inside, now! Didn't you hear the bell? 1381 01:19:53,335 --> 01:19:54,253 Oh! 1382 01:19:54,461 --> 01:19:56,588 You told her? Yeah, sure. 1383 01:19:56,797 --> 01:19:59,299 Wow. And what did she say? 1384 01:19:59,508 --> 01:20:01,426 She? Bah... nothing. 1385 01:20:01,635 --> 01:20:04,012 I don't care. She didn't say anything? 1386 01:20:04,221 --> 01:20:07,808 She said nothing, uh ... But her eyes spoke. 1387 01:20:08,016 --> 01:20:09,977 She spoke with eyes? 1388 01:20:10,185 --> 01:20:11,979 Oh, get out of my air space! 1389 01:20:15,482 --> 01:20:17,651 Listen to this! 1390 01:20:17,860 --> 01:20:20,362 The pure flow of the playground! 1391 01:20:20,571 --> 01:20:23,490 It's hard to get up And to be in a good mood 1392 01:20:23,699 --> 01:20:26,660 When I saw Zizie eat my Jump Rodgers poster 1393 01:20:26,869 --> 01:20:31,081 Mom and dad are angry They saw my report card 1394 01:20:31,290 --> 01:20:35,460 When I arrive at school, there's a mega crisis: a surprise test 1395 01:20:35,669 --> 01:20:38,088 I couldn't remember any of the answers 1396 01:20:38,297 --> 01:20:40,465 I earned a black belt in Playstation 1397 01:20:40,674 --> 01:20:43,427 So I sing this rap And I tell about my misfortune 1398 01:20:43,635 --> 01:20:46,847 I say, leave me in peace! Get out of my air space! 1399 01:20:47,055 --> 01:20:48,515 Get out of my air space! 1400 01:20:48,724 --> 01:20:49,975 Oh, please! 1401 01:20:50,184 --> 01:20:52,436 The canteen today A living nightmare 1402 01:20:52,644 --> 01:20:54,897 The cook, he's made spinach! 1403 01:20:55,105 --> 01:20:57,232 I have to eat it to grow some muscles 1404 01:20:57,441 --> 01:20:59,860 So I can beat up the Great Diego 1405 01:21:00,068 --> 01:21:02,279 Later, I'm gonna be an actor or a rebel 1406 01:21:02,487 --> 01:21:04,573 And Nadia will be my wife because she's the hottest girl 1407 01:21:04,781 --> 01:21:07,117 When I see her, my heart starts pumping 1408 01:21:07,326 --> 01:21:09,494 I'd love to kiss her but not with the tongue 1409 01:21:09,703 --> 01:21:12,372 Some days it's better to have the flu 1410 01:21:12,581 --> 01:21:15,501 Leave me alone Get out of my air space! 1411 01:21:17,002 --> 01:21:20,339 Leave me alone Get out of my air space! 1412 01:21:20,547 --> 01:21:22,674 Get out of my air space! 1413 01:21:23,884 --> 01:21:28,722 There are laws on the playground Never sit next to Vomito 1414 01:21:28,931 --> 01:21:33,560 Or eat in front of Jean-Claude Otherwise, nuclear war 1415 01:21:33,769 --> 01:21:36,021 Don't make fun with the girls They're bitches 1416 01:21:36,230 --> 01:21:38,357 Avoid the big boys who steal your stuff 1417 01:21:38,565 --> 01:21:39,816 Hold your breath till you turn red in the face 1418 01:21:40,025 --> 01:21:42,945 When you're facing a teacher with bad breath 1419 01:21:43,153 --> 01:21:45,614 But despite all that, I still feel good 1420 01:21:45,822 --> 01:21:47,783 I swear on the top of my hair 1421 01:21:47,991 --> 01:21:50,494 In the meantime, you get the idea 1422 01:21:50,702 --> 01:21:53,539 Leave me in peace! Get out of my air space! 1423 01:21:54,957 --> 01:21:57,709 Leave me in peace! Get out of my air space! 1424 01:21:57,918 --> 01:22:00,087 Yeah, it's good Get out of his air space! 1425 01:22:00,295 --> 01:22:03,757 Leave me in peace! Get out of my air space! 1426 01:22:05,050 --> 01:22:08,178 Leave me in peace! Get out of my air space! 1427 01:22:22,317 --> 01:22:26,989 Girls don't play with Lego 1428 01:22:27,197 --> 01:22:31,994 They can't make the sound of a motorbike with their mouths 1429 01:22:32,202 --> 01:22:37,875 They never make noise with their asses 1430 01:22:38,083 --> 01:22:40,878 What's the point? 1431 01:22:42,004 --> 01:22:46,675 Girls don't like TV 1432 01:22:46,884 --> 01:22:50,429 They don't understand karate movies 1433 01:22:50,637 --> 01:22:55,642 During football matches, they forget to cheer 1434 01:22:57,644 --> 01:23:00,272 Oh, what a pity! 1435 01:23:01,857 --> 01:23:05,110 What's the point? 1436 01:23:06,862 --> 01:23:10,032 What's the point? 1437 01:23:21,168 --> 01:23:24,838 They can't build a model ship 1438 01:23:25,047 --> 01:23:31,011 And if they find Your GI Joe action figure 1439 01:23:31,220 --> 01:23:35,557 They want him to marry Barbie 1440 01:23:36,934 --> 01:23:38,894 They don't understand 1441 01:23:41,271 --> 01:23:43,899 What's the point? 1442 01:23:46,193 --> 01:23:49,029 What's the point? 1443 01:23:50,822 --> 01:23:54,868 So I'm sleeping in my little bed 1444 01:23:55,661 --> 01:24:00,374 I'm wearing my canary yellow pajamas 1445 01:24:00,582 --> 01:24:05,671 Sorry, girls, but you can't have my penis 1446 01:24:05,879 --> 01:24:08,173 Too bad! 1447 01:24:08,382 --> 01:24:10,634 Too bad! 1448 01:24:20,143 --> 01:24:23,730 Girls lock themselves in the bathroom 1449 01:24:23,939 --> 01:24:26,358 With all kinds of ointments 1450 01:24:26,567 --> 01:24:30,028 Of which I don't know anything 1451 01:24:30,237 --> 01:24:34,741 Girls never stay long with me 1452 01:24:36,118 --> 01:24:39,037 I don't know why. 1453 01:27:16,278 --> 01:27:18,697 Subs by Gutterballking Minor corrections by Noah Cyrus101171