Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:27,655 --> 00:00:32,655
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:00:33,791 --> 00:00:35,892
[car horn honking]
3
00:00:38,562 --> 00:00:41,297
[jazz music playing softly]
4
00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:48,069
[man]
Oh, my God, look at that.
5
00:00:48,071 --> 00:00:51,409
It's so sad that they all messed
their lives up, those people.
6
00:00:54,077 --> 00:00:56,914
Say, why did
the bum vote for Obama?
7
00:00:59,615 --> 00:01:01,682
You're supposed to say, "Why?"
8
00:01:01,684 --> 00:01:03,453
Okay. Why?
9
00:01:04,053 --> 00:01:05,720
Because he wanted change.
10
00:01:05,722 --> 00:01:07,722
[laughs]
11
00:01:07,724 --> 00:01:09,761
Wow, that's funny, Mr. Cohen.
12
00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:15,800
- Hey, you remember my cousin Matt, the actor?
- Mm-hmm.
13
00:01:16,834 --> 00:01:18,600
Yeah, he's doing
a show on Broadway now
14
00:01:18,602 --> 00:01:21,068
and we're gonna tear up
the town together.
15
00:01:21,070 --> 00:01:22,536
Wow.
16
00:01:22,538 --> 00:01:24,639
Yeah, he knows some
of the real cool spots,
17
00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:26,475
real underground places,
you know?
18
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,612
[turn signal clicking]
19
00:01:30,079 --> 00:01:33,482
I thought you were gonna
drop me off in the Village.
20
00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:34,783
Mr. Cohen, I told you,
21
00:01:34,785 --> 00:01:37,921
your mom said that I need to make
sure you get into your meeting.
22
00:01:55,838 --> 00:01:56,807
Traitor.
23
00:02:16,292 --> 00:02:18,662
- [hip-hop playing]
- [woman squeals]
24
00:02:29,238 --> 00:02:31,540
[man chattering]
25
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:32,877
Oh, gosh.
26
00:02:33,609 --> 00:02:34,575
[woman] Hi, everyone.
27
00:02:34,577 --> 00:02:36,911
Welcome to the summer semester
of Connections.
28
00:02:36,913 --> 00:02:39,613
Over here on this table
we've got some clipboards.
29
00:02:39,615 --> 00:02:40,881
That's where you'll register.
30
00:02:40,883 --> 00:02:43,885
If you have any questions
about Lit Club,
31
00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:45,020
you can ask Mar.
32
00:02:45,022 --> 00:02:45,820
[sobbing]
33
00:02:45,822 --> 00:02:47,389
Paint and Pottery,
you can ask Annie.
34
00:02:47,391 --> 00:02:50,592
- She knows everything there is about those groups...
- [woman] Excuse me, please.
35
00:02:50,594 --> 00:02:55,897
And if you have any question about
Drama Dreams, we have Sarah and Sammy.
36
00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:58,199
They can tell you anything
you need to know about those.
37
00:02:58,201 --> 00:03:01,101
Would you like to talk
a little bit about Drama Dreams?
38
00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:02,771
- Yes!
- Okay.
39
00:03:02,773 --> 00:03:04,642
- Yes, Dorsey.
- All right, here you go.
40
00:03:07,710 --> 00:03:09,277
Hi, everyone. Welcome.
41
00:03:09,279 --> 00:03:12,647
Drama Dreams is...
is a wonderful,
42
00:03:12,649 --> 00:03:16,250
magnificent opportunity
and way to shine
43
00:03:16,252 --> 00:03:18,018
and do a little mix and match.
44
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,021
And we do a lot of...
a great deal of acting
45
00:03:20,023 --> 00:03:24,092
and improvisation
and spontaneous performances
46
00:03:24,094 --> 00:03:25,659
and... that are so flexible.
47
00:03:25,661 --> 00:03:28,129
You go with the flow.
48
00:03:28,131 --> 00:03:29,931
And it's very unscripted, so...
49
00:03:29,933 --> 00:03:31,866
- [people chattering]
- [classical music playing]
50
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:33,735
[woman]
This is such a good prawn.
51
00:03:33,737 --> 00:03:36,204
- [woman 2] Yeah.
- [woman 1] The music's really great.
52
00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:37,372
[woman 3] Yeah.
53
00:03:37,374 --> 00:03:40,742
[man] Because if you saw what
happened with Bernie Madoff
54
00:03:40,744 --> 00:03:42,343
and all the other people
55
00:03:42,345 --> 00:03:45,046
and AIG and Lehman Brothers,
56
00:03:45,048 --> 00:03:48,816
we were kinda like bookies,
or so I found out later on.
57
00:03:48,818 --> 00:03:52,386
- And then, kinda like...
- Wait, who's Bernie Madoff?
58
00:03:52,388 --> 00:03:56,091
He's a man who
ripped off investors.
59
00:03:56,093 --> 00:04:00,295
His initials are B.M.
for a good reason.
60
00:04:00,297 --> 00:04:03,034
Because he is
a human bowel movement.
61
00:04:04,368 --> 00:04:06,700
I know it's your
first time here.
62
00:04:06,702 --> 00:04:10,639
Downstairs, there's,
I think, this juice bar.
63
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:13,074
They've got this really good
kale shake down there
64
00:04:13,076 --> 00:04:15,843
if you wanna do
a little juicing with me.
65
00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:17,077
[classical music continues]
66
00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:19,681
What is it with the fruity music
in this place?
67
00:04:19,683 --> 00:04:21,618
Do you have a problem
with the music?
68
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:26,121
Oh no, man.
It's cool, it's cool. I'm good.
69
00:04:26,123 --> 00:04:29,356
Who's the new initiate
and what's wrong with him?
70
00:04:29,358 --> 00:04:33,928
[man] Well, I guess it's just,
you know, sensory overload.
71
00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:37,832
I don't have a problem.
I'm just passing through.
72
00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:39,737
I bet you say that
to all the boys.
73
00:04:43,005 --> 00:04:44,007
Mom!
74
00:04:45,142 --> 00:04:46,877
I'm not going back there!
75
00:04:49,012 --> 00:04:50,178
Hold on.
76
00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,182
Mom!
77
00:04:54,418 --> 00:04:56,887
I said I'm not going back there!
78
00:04:57,921 --> 00:04:59,320
You want to go
to jail, David?
79
00:04:59,322 --> 00:05:01,091
You want to ruin
your father's life?
80
00:05:02,091 --> 00:05:03,661
Dad, make her stop!
81
00:05:05,295 --> 00:05:07,428
I mean, I know she hates me,
82
00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:10,899
and she just wants me
to roll up and die
83
00:05:10,901 --> 00:05:13,734
and... and wants me jump off
a goddamn roof.
84
00:05:13,736 --> 00:05:16,036
David, give it a rest. Okay?
85
00:05:16,038 --> 00:05:19,940
[Father] It's not therapy.
It's a fruitcake place.
86
00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:23,445
Like the judge said, you
show up, you sign your name,
87
00:05:23,447 --> 00:05:25,779
six weeks later: dismissed.
88
00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:29,120
Maybe next time,
don't tell pig jokes to a cop.
89
00:05:30,887 --> 00:05:32,857
And what the hell
am I gonna tell Angie?
90
00:05:33,389 --> 00:05:34,488
Who's Angie?
91
00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:36,127
She's the girl that I'm seeing.
92
00:05:37,327 --> 00:05:38,325
I thought her name
was Melinda.
93
00:05:38,327 --> 00:05:40,794
No, that didn't work out
between me and Melinda.
94
00:05:40,796 --> 00:05:42,262
If Angie has a problem
with this,
95
00:05:42,264 --> 00:05:44,733
her mother can give me a call.
96
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:48,102
Ooh! [grunting]
97
00:05:48,104 --> 00:05:49,471
[sighs]
98
00:05:49,473 --> 00:05:51,371
[snorts] Aah!
99
00:05:51,373 --> 00:05:53,810
- David, please.
- Aah!
100
00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,846
Sorry. I can't help it.
I'm trying.
101
00:05:58,815 --> 00:05:59,981
I don't belong there, Mom.
102
00:05:59,983 --> 00:06:02,282
[Mother] I don't like the look
of the people at that place
103
00:06:02,284 --> 00:06:03,585
any better than you do.
104
00:06:03,587 --> 00:06:07,354
But if you don't do this, you
won't be able to leave the state.
105
00:06:07,356 --> 00:06:10,224
No Florida, no beach club.
106
00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:13,294
You'll spend the rest of the year
stuck up here with Aunt Rudy.
107
00:06:13,296 --> 00:06:15,130
Is that what you want?
108
00:06:15,132 --> 00:06:16,231
No.
109
00:06:16,233 --> 00:06:17,832
Just get it over with then
110
00:06:17,834 --> 00:06:20,135
so everything can
go back to normal.
111
00:06:20,137 --> 00:06:23,203
[grunting] Mmm!
112
00:06:23,205 --> 00:06:24,505
Oh, sweetheart.
113
00:06:24,507 --> 00:06:26,875
Come, let's have some fruit.
114
00:06:26,877 --> 00:06:29,310
You go lie down
with some fruit,
115
00:06:29,312 --> 00:06:33,784
maybe a cool bath, your pj's.
116
00:06:34,885 --> 00:06:37,988
[hip-hop playing, faint]
117
00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:48,999
[computer beeps]
118
00:06:57,173 --> 00:06:58,209
[beeps]
119
00:07:10,587 --> 00:07:12,022
[beeps]
120
00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:17,959
[woman]
Hi. I'm Mar. What's your name?
121
00:07:17,961 --> 00:07:19,460
[man] My name is Sammy.
122
00:07:19,462 --> 00:07:21,563
[Mar]
It's nice to meet you, Sammy.
123
00:07:21,565 --> 00:07:23,431
[Sammy]
It's nice to meet you, Mar.
124
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:27,501
I'm so happy that you are
here in this organization
125
00:07:27,503 --> 00:07:29,974
that my parents
really helped found.
126
00:07:31,173 --> 00:07:31,972
That's so...
127
00:07:31,974 --> 00:07:34,177
And Connections
is a branch of that.
128
00:07:35,611 --> 00:07:38,580
Oops.
Sorry to cut you off, Sammy.
129
00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:41,582
I have trouble
reading non-verbal cues
130
00:07:41,584 --> 00:07:44,354
'cause of my
vision impairment.
131
00:07:45,555 --> 00:07:48,156
[phone text clicking]
132
00:07:48,158 --> 00:07:49,059
[text beeps]
133
00:07:51,861 --> 00:07:53,126
[Sammy] That's okay, Mar.
134
00:07:53,128 --> 00:07:56,397
I'm always respectful
to people around me.
135
00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:58,202
Their needs and their wishes.
136
00:07:58,969 --> 00:08:00,467
[Mar] That's so cool.
137
00:08:00,469 --> 00:08:01,871
[text beeps]
138
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:05,606
Mar and Sammy, that was great.
Thank you so much.
139
00:08:05,608 --> 00:08:08,178
- Who wants to go next?
- [gasps]
140
00:08:08,978 --> 00:08:10,411
Sarah. All right.
141
00:08:10,413 --> 00:08:11,382
Who's gonna partner with Sarah?
142
00:08:12,949 --> 00:08:15,048
Andrew, how about you?
143
00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:16,752
Haven't heard
from you much today.
144
00:08:20,623 --> 00:08:22,091
Okay.
145
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,095
- Hey, David.
- [text beeps]
146
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,130
We're gonna stick
with the same thing.
147
00:08:30,132 --> 00:08:33,500
Friendly conversations with
people who we maybe have just met
148
00:08:33,502 --> 00:08:35,270
or don't know very well.
149
00:08:35,272 --> 00:08:36,437
Does that sound okay?
150
00:08:36,439 --> 00:08:38,039
Yeah, sounds
like a plan.
151
00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:40,310
[Dorsey] All right.
David, sound okay to you?
152
00:08:41,578 --> 00:08:42,910
Yeah.
153
00:08:42,912 --> 00:08:45,178
[Dorsey] Okay. Go for it.
154
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:49,016
So, David, what would you
like to talk about?
155
00:08:49,018 --> 00:08:54,121
Do you like to speak
about movies, operas,
156
00:08:54,123 --> 00:08:58,159
ballets, Broadway musicals?
157
00:08:58,161 --> 00:08:59,294
No.
158
00:08:59,296 --> 00:09:00,629
Me neither.
159
00:09:00,631 --> 00:09:05,401
I'm not really crazy about speaking
about any of that kind of stuff.
160
00:09:09,539 --> 00:09:11,005
[Dorsey] Yes, Sarah.
161
00:09:11,007 --> 00:09:15,043
Dorsey, David's being
really quiet and shy.
162
00:09:15,045 --> 00:09:16,644
He's not participating.
163
00:09:16,646 --> 00:09:20,414
He's not contributing to his
fair share in the conversation.
164
00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:25,053
He's just being so...
really, in dead silence.
165
00:09:25,055 --> 00:09:27,288
[Dorsey] So, let's ask
the group what they think
166
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:30,558
could help David be more
involved in the conversation.
167
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:36,563
I think Sarah threw a little too much
information at David all at once.
168
00:09:36,565 --> 00:09:40,068
Sometimes, when you're in a
conversation with someone new,
169
00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:41,302
that's not good.
170
00:09:41,304 --> 00:09:43,037
It can scare them.
171
00:09:43,039 --> 00:09:44,639
[Dorsey] Any other suggestions?
172
00:09:44,641 --> 00:09:48,042
You cannot bring up
a conversation topic
173
00:09:48,044 --> 00:09:50,010
if neither of you
is interested.
174
00:09:50,012 --> 00:09:52,282
So let's find
a common interest.
175
00:09:53,315 --> 00:09:55,252
David, you can even pick
the interest.
176
00:09:56,719 --> 00:09:58,720
How about the Brooklyn Bridge?
177
00:09:58,722 --> 00:10:01,322
Oh! Okay!
That sounds wonderful.
178
00:10:01,324 --> 00:10:06,660
Uh... wha... what do you really
love and enjoy the most
179
00:10:06,662 --> 00:10:09,664
about doing
at the Brooklyn Bridge?
180
00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:13,101
I mean, we should really
make some plans to go together.
181
00:10:13,103 --> 00:10:15,068
That would be very
interesting for both of us.
182
00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:17,038
We can both have
a wonderful time together.
183
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,343
We can both
jump off the bridge.
184
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:26,414
Dorsey, David's really, really
not cooperating with me.
185
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:28,149
[laughing]
186
00:10:28,151 --> 00:10:31,251
I can't believe she... she
actually took me so seriously.
187
00:10:31,253 --> 00:10:33,487
Well, David, I actually
think that this would be
188
00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:38,025
a really wonderful homework
assignment for the two of you.
189
00:10:38,027 --> 00:10:39,760
You can practice those
conversation skills
190
00:10:39,762 --> 00:10:42,031
and come back and share that
with the group.
191
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,502
David, I need you
to cooperate.
192
00:10:48,103 --> 00:10:49,370
Just missed
my freakin' elevator.
193
00:10:49,372 --> 00:10:50,638
I just want to get out
of this building.
194
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,372
David,
that's very irrelevant.
195
00:10:52,374 --> 00:10:54,708
We need to focus on getting our
homework assignment completed
196
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:56,110
that Dorsey assigned us to.
197
00:10:56,112 --> 00:10:57,812
This is very
exciting for me.
198
00:10:57,814 --> 00:10:59,813
- Maybe for you...
- We want to report...
199
00:10:59,815 --> 00:11:02,283
My job and my
responsibility, David,
200
00:11:02,285 --> 00:11:04,419
- is to report to Dorsey and keep her posted...
- [elevator dings]
201
00:11:04,421 --> 00:11:08,322
...on how everything goes that we
observe at the Brooklyn Bridge.
202
00:11:08,324 --> 00:11:09,823
- We have to make this plan.
- [elevator dings]
203
00:11:09,825 --> 00:11:11,159
We were the one
that committed.
204
00:11:11,161 --> 00:11:13,061
We have to stick
to our commitments
205
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,263
and plan properly.
206
00:11:15,265 --> 00:11:16,331
Bye.
207
00:11:16,333 --> 00:11:18,366
David, we have to make...
We're not planning properly.
208
00:11:18,368 --> 00:11:20,635
We have
to plan properly, David.
209
00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:22,539
See you later.
Have a nice life.
210
00:11:24,174 --> 00:11:26,410
[saxophone playing]
211
00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:45,726
- Hi.
- Hi.
212
00:11:45,728 --> 00:11:47,428
- You must be Angie.
- David?
213
00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:49,263
- I'm David. That's right.
- So nice to meet you.
214
00:11:49,265 --> 00:11:50,264
- It's great to meet you.
- I didn't know
215
00:11:50,266 --> 00:11:52,500
if you were gonna
recognize me from the website.
216
00:11:52,502 --> 00:11:56,236
You look even more beautiful than...
in person than on your profile.
217
00:11:56,238 --> 00:11:57,404
Oh, my God. [laughs]
218
00:11:57,406 --> 00:11:58,939
Thank you.
Oh, my gosh, sorry.
219
00:11:58,941 --> 00:12:04,047
I'm usually not this nervous, but, you
know, I rarely meet nice, normal, guys.
220
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:05,645
Thank you.
221
00:12:05,647 --> 00:12:07,215
Thanks.
222
00:12:07,217 --> 00:12:10,584
- Um, so, do you want anything to eat or anything?
- Uh-uh.
223
00:12:10,586 --> 00:12:12,319
You seem hungry or nervous
or something...
224
00:12:12,321 --> 00:12:16,591
- No, I'm on this no-carb diet.
- Mmm.
225
00:12:16,593 --> 00:12:18,793
So that's all you.
226
00:12:18,795 --> 00:12:21,662
Did you know that milk
had carbs in them?
227
00:12:21,664 --> 00:12:23,463
- Wow, milk had carbs.
- Yeah.
228
00:12:23,465 --> 00:12:25,799
So, I'm excited about
this U2 concert tonight...
229
00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:29,470
Yes, me too! I love U2!
230
00:12:29,472 --> 00:12:30,871
- I love Bono. I'm obsessed with him...
- Yes...
231
00:12:30,873 --> 00:12:32,206
I know everything about him,
232
00:12:32,208 --> 00:12:35,909
like his date of birth:
May 10, 1960.
233
00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:38,246
- Whoa, 1960...
- Yeah.
234
00:12:38,248 --> 00:12:40,213
You kind of look
like him a little bit.
235
00:12:40,215 --> 00:12:41,682
[Irish accent] Hello, hello!
236
00:12:41,684 --> 00:12:42,783
[laughs]
237
00:12:42,785 --> 00:12:43,818
- Yeah, the glasses...
- That's good.
238
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,419
That's good.
239
00:12:45,421 --> 00:12:48,291
Um, do you always
keep your sunglasses on?
240
00:12:51,694 --> 00:12:52,628
Sorry.
241
00:12:53,695 --> 00:12:55,298
[snorts] Aah!
242
00:12:55,831 --> 00:12:57,731
[snorts] Aah!
243
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:58,798
It's my allergies.
244
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,867
- Do you need a napkin?
- [grunts]
245
00:13:00,869 --> 00:13:02,272
No, I just...
246
00:13:03,238 --> 00:13:06,243
So, um,
you into sports at all?
247
00:13:07,243 --> 00:13:09,677
- Um, sort of.
- You heard of Kobe Bryant?
248
00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,483
Yeah, this morning,
he was traded to the LA Rapers.
249
00:13:14,783 --> 00:13:15,816
I'm sorry.
That wasn't funny.
250
00:13:15,818 --> 00:13:17,250
I got a funnier one.
251
00:13:17,252 --> 00:13:22,258
[imitating Bill Cosby] "My two favorite
things: Jell-O pudding and rape."
252
00:13:23,225 --> 00:13:25,261
I'm just gonna run
to the bathroom.
253
00:13:46,682 --> 00:13:48,184
Aah!
254
00:13:59,728 --> 00:14:01,996
Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
255
00:14:01,998 --> 00:14:03,965
Sorry.
256
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:05,302
Angie!
257
00:14:06,735 --> 00:14:07,703
Anj!
258
00:14:09,839 --> 00:14:10,972
Hi.
259
00:14:10,974 --> 00:14:12,642
[rock music playing, faint]
260
00:14:47,743 --> 00:14:48,778
[key taps]
261
00:15:01,556 --> 00:15:02,592
[key taps]
262
00:15:08,498 --> 00:15:09,498
[sighs]
263
00:15:30,887 --> 00:15:33,724
[keys tapping]
264
00:15:40,897 --> 00:15:42,299
[beeps]
265
00:15:47,704 --> 00:15:48,738
[exhales sharply]
266
00:15:56,878 --> 00:15:59,449
[muffled crying, yelling]
Such a fucking bum!
267
00:16:01,818 --> 00:16:03,687
Fucking bum!
268
00:16:07,623 --> 00:16:09,423
[woman]
Welcome to Drama Therapy.
269
00:16:09,425 --> 00:16:10,824
[man] I'm so happy
to be here, Delilah.
270
00:16:10,826 --> 00:16:12,226
[Delilah] Excellent.
271
00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:15,096
So, this summer, we're actually gonna
be working towards a performance.
272
00:16:15,098 --> 00:16:16,130
- [man] Really?
- [Sarah] Ooh!
273
00:16:16,132 --> 00:16:17,365
- [woman 2] Ooh!
- [Delilah] Yes.
274
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,665
[Sarah] Ooh, wow!
275
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:20,467
Yeah, and what
we're gonna be doing
276
00:16:20,469 --> 00:16:23,737
is we're going to be
exploring who we are.
277
00:16:23,739 --> 00:16:27,475
And then we're gonna be able
to show that to the world.
278
00:16:27,477 --> 00:16:29,510
And so one of the things
we're gonna do this summer
279
00:16:29,512 --> 00:16:34,715
is we're going to create our performance
around the idea of superheroes.
280
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:35,882
[man, Sarah] Ooh!
281
00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:38,052
[Delilah] So what I want you
guys to be thinking about,
282
00:16:38,054 --> 00:16:41,688
think about, if you had a superhero
power, what would it be?
283
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,756
- [man] I love it.
- [Sarah] I love it!
284
00:16:42,758 --> 00:16:44,558
- [woman 2] That is fantastic!
- [woman 3] Great idea!
285
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,897
[man] I love it. It's just
what I've wanted for years.
286
00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:05,912
David. What happened?
287
00:17:05,914 --> 00:17:08,719
- What?
- You missed our homework assignment.
288
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:11,285
What homework assignment?
289
00:17:11,287 --> 00:17:15,089
Remember, we were supposed to write
a report about the Brooklyn Bridge.
290
00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:18,726
Look, how about this? Why don't
we do this professionally, okay?
291
00:17:18,728 --> 00:17:20,561
I'm going to pay you money
to do this.
292
00:17:20,563 --> 00:17:22,630
I mean, you want money.
How much do you want, 20?
293
00:17:22,632 --> 00:17:24,832
David, that's
not the assignment.
294
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,766
You're giving me
a really hard time
295
00:17:26,768 --> 00:17:29,437
which is completely not okay,
completely unacceptable.
296
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:33,607
- [siren wailing]
- Look, David, if you're not gonna cooperate with me
297
00:17:33,609 --> 00:17:35,042
and contribute
to your fair share,
298
00:17:35,044 --> 00:17:38,646
I'm going to advocate myself
and speak my mind to Dorsey,
299
00:17:38,648 --> 00:17:41,515
'cause this is
completely unacceptable.
300
00:17:41,517 --> 00:17:43,650
Okay, you want to go
to the Brooklyn Bridge?
301
00:17:43,652 --> 00:17:45,785
We'll go
to the Brooklyn Bridge, okay?
302
00:17:45,787 --> 00:17:47,521
We'll go to
the Brooklyn Bridge, okay?
303
00:17:47,523 --> 00:17:48,956
Will that get you off my case?
304
00:17:48,958 --> 00:17:50,990
- What does "off your case" mean?
- Will you be satisfied?
305
00:17:50,992 --> 00:17:53,194
It means you'll be satisfied!
306
00:17:53,196 --> 00:17:54,661
Very much so.
307
00:17:54,663 --> 00:17:55,596
Taxi!
308
00:17:55,598 --> 00:17:59,533
[Sarah] Um, I find it
really, really scary.
309
00:17:59,535 --> 00:18:01,601
I feel so much
safer on the bus.
310
00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:06,239
And the only way to get home to my grandmother's
home, safe and sound, is the bus.
311
00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:10,244
And taxis are so expensive and
I find them so nerve-racking.
312
00:18:10,246 --> 00:18:11,879
What are you Rain Man
or something?
313
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,113
I mean, you have to have
a system for everything.
314
00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:18,185
Uh, gotta go to Kmart,
41 Oak Street, lights at 11:00.
315
00:18:18,187 --> 00:18:21,889
Don't you just want to live without
going according to the system,
316
00:18:21,891 --> 00:18:24,691
without sticking
to the line once?
317
00:18:24,693 --> 00:18:26,192
Believe me, I took the bus once.
318
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:28,696
It was a messed-up
experience for me.
319
00:18:28,698 --> 00:18:32,265
I mean, I got on the bus.
It was goddamn crowded.
320
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:33,833
I felt like a sardine.
321
00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:36,669
Then when I sat down,
this homeless guy got up to me
322
00:18:36,671 --> 00:18:38,973
and started harassing
the shit out of me.
323
00:18:38,975 --> 00:18:42,176
And I felt like yelling out
"hobophobic" slurs.
324
00:18:42,178 --> 00:18:44,111
Not homophobic, "hobophobic."
325
00:18:44,113 --> 00:18:45,246
What's "hobophobic"?
326
00:18:45,248 --> 00:18:47,281
It's a phobia against bums.
327
00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:50,650
Look, it's one thing if you want
to take the bus by yourself.
328
00:18:50,652 --> 00:18:52,285
You can do whatever the hell
you want on your own.
329
00:18:52,287 --> 00:18:54,255
But when you're with me,
let's take a cab.
330
00:18:54,257 --> 00:18:56,090
I mean, buses are for paupers,
331
00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:59,595
and cabs are for the prince
and the princess.
332
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:04,063
You know, why don't you just sit
back, lay back and enjoy the ride.
333
00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:05,765
Okay.
334
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:06,969
How much
do I owe you, sir?
335
00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,169
[driver] 7.50.
336
00:19:09,171 --> 00:19:11,641
Here you go, $20.
Keep the change.
337
00:19:18,146 --> 00:19:19,615
Come on.
338
00:19:23,619 --> 00:19:26,756
[pedestrians chattering]
339
00:19:30,825 --> 00:19:33,294
[Sarah]
Come on! Come join me, David!
340
00:19:33,296 --> 00:19:35,728
I'm having a wonderful time!
341
00:19:35,730 --> 00:19:37,831
My first time ever
at the Brooklyn Bridge!
342
00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:39,969
It's a gorgeous
bird's-eye view!
343
00:19:57,286 --> 00:19:59,620
[Sarah]
Where are you going, David?
344
00:19:59,622 --> 00:20:01,054
I'm free now.
345
00:20:01,056 --> 00:20:03,357
But how am I getting home?
346
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:04,958
How do you
usually get home?
347
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,226
I plan to take my bus.
348
00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:07,695
So then, take the bus.
349
00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:10,698
The bus from the JCC
is the only way
350
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:14,234
I know how to get home
to my grandmother's home safely,
351
00:20:14,236 --> 00:20:15,936
and I count 13 stops.
352
00:20:15,938 --> 00:20:18,973
Oh, Jesus.
How old are you, Sarah?
353
00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:21,041
David, I'm 24.
354
00:20:21,043 --> 00:20:22,810
And how long have you
been living in New York?
355
00:20:22,812 --> 00:20:25,211
I've been living
in New York City my whole life
356
00:20:25,213 --> 00:20:27,614
since I was
a little born child.
357
00:20:27,616 --> 00:20:30,918
So, you mean to tell me you've
been in this town for 24 years
358
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:34,321
and you don't know how to get to
your grandmother's house from here?
359
00:20:34,323 --> 00:20:36,390
Well, the JCC...
the bus from the JCC
360
00:20:36,392 --> 00:20:38,691
is the only way I know
how to get home.
361
00:20:38,693 --> 00:20:40,763
That's the only way.
362
00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,863
[David] You happy now?
363
00:20:43,865 --> 00:20:47,001
I had to take you all the way
back to the JCC bus stop.
364
00:20:47,003 --> 00:20:49,035
I guess you want to take
the bus, we'll take the...
365
00:20:49,037 --> 00:20:52,305
Look, here we go. It's
your bus stop right there.
366
00:20:52,307 --> 00:20:53,943
Okay? Take the bus, okay?
367
00:20:55,311 --> 00:20:57,244
What?
368
00:20:57,246 --> 00:20:58,715
Um...
369
00:20:59,848 --> 00:21:00,880
Uh...
370
00:21:00,882 --> 00:21:01,849
Yeah?
371
00:21:01,851 --> 00:21:04,118
Um, David... Um, David...
372
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,886
- What?
- Um...
373
00:21:05,888 --> 00:21:07,688
W-What about... What about...
374
00:21:07,690 --> 00:21:09,122
What about... What happened?
375
00:21:09,124 --> 00:21:12,126
When are we gonna finish
our homework assignment?
376
00:21:12,128 --> 00:21:14,661
About the Brooklyn Bridge?
We were there all day.
377
00:21:14,663 --> 00:21:15,728
We just did.
378
00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:16,863
But it's not complete.
379
00:21:16,865 --> 00:21:19,867
We're supposed to
write a report about it.
380
00:21:19,869 --> 00:21:22,902
Well, I don't know. Do it
with one of your friends.
381
00:21:22,904 --> 00:21:26,674
But, David, I really feel strongly
about doing this with you.
382
00:21:26,676 --> 00:21:28,876
I really, really
want to do it with you
383
00:21:28,878 --> 00:21:32,949
because I find you
really smoking hot and so sexy.
384
00:22:04,046 --> 00:22:05,845
Hey, Mom!
385
00:22:05,847 --> 00:22:08,348
Is it okay if Geraldo drives
me into the city, today?
386
00:22:08,350 --> 00:22:11,752
Well, it's a Sunday.
What are you doing in the city?
387
00:22:11,754 --> 00:22:13,923
I just feel like
hanging out and stuff.
388
00:22:15,891 --> 00:22:18,191
You know,
for that group.
389
00:22:18,193 --> 00:22:20,828
I didn't think you were forced
to go there on the weekend.
390
00:22:20,830 --> 00:22:23,796
Do I need to make a call
to that woman Dorothy?
391
00:22:23,798 --> 00:22:24,931
No, no, no. It's not that.
392
00:22:24,933 --> 00:22:27,066
It's this voluntary thing,
you know?
393
00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:27,935
Voluntary?
394
00:22:27,937 --> 00:22:30,938
I just uh, figured
I'd get extra credit.
395
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:32,038
They'd let me out earlier
396
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,007
for, like,
good behavior and stuff.
397
00:22:35,009 --> 00:22:39,246
[Sammy] You're here
to audition for my play.
398
00:22:39,248 --> 00:22:42,248
Um, a lot of you are
vying for the same part.
399
00:22:42,250 --> 00:22:47,920
I hope that this does not cause any
problems with your relationships.
400
00:22:47,922 --> 00:22:51,060
These pages aren't numbered,
but flip... flip the page.
401
00:22:51,994 --> 00:22:52,860
[coughs]
402
00:22:52,862 --> 00:22:54,831
Here, scene three.
Do you see it, Sarah?
403
00:22:58,234 --> 00:22:59,466
Pardon me, pretty lady.
404
00:22:59,468 --> 00:23:01,968
I couldn't help
but notice you in tears.
405
00:23:01,970 --> 00:23:04,274
What seems to be the trouble?
I'd love to help.
406
00:23:06,475 --> 00:23:13,380
♪ He really is going to be
My knight in shining armor ♪
407
00:23:13,382 --> 00:23:15,515
♪ My Prince Charming ♪
408
00:23:15,517 --> 00:23:16,984
[Sammy] David! You made it.
409
00:23:16,986 --> 00:23:20,521
I want you to audition for my play, for
the leading role of Travis McHenry.
410
00:23:20,523 --> 00:23:21,921
[laughs]
411
00:23:21,923 --> 00:23:26,226
You look just like my idol
that I have loved
412
00:23:26,228 --> 00:23:27,794
ever since I was a teen.
413
00:23:27,796 --> 00:23:30,898
He's on a show
that did not last very long,
414
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:33,132
but it's called
Malibu Mohawks.
415
00:23:33,134 --> 00:23:35,872
Oh, Malibu Mohawks.
My cousin was on that show!
416
00:23:36,872 --> 00:23:37,804
Your... wait, your cousin?
417
00:23:37,806 --> 00:23:39,108
Matt Cone. Matt Cone.
418
00:23:39,909 --> 00:23:41,408
Matt Cone's your cousin?
419
00:23:41,410 --> 00:23:42,942
- He's my cousin.
- [Sarah laughs]
420
00:23:42,944 --> 00:23:45,445
He's more like a brother to me
because I really...
421
00:23:45,447 --> 00:23:47,313
Matt Cone is your cousin?
422
00:23:47,315 --> 00:23:49,182
- Yeah!
- Like a brother to you?
423
00:23:49,184 --> 00:23:51,185
Just tell me
why he's your idol, huh?
424
00:23:51,187 --> 00:23:54,921
- Why do you love him so much?
- He looks like the person
425
00:23:54,923 --> 00:23:58,225
who really can sweep me
off my feet.
426
00:23:58,227 --> 00:24:00,994
And I know that
he is as wonderful...
427
00:24:00,996 --> 00:24:04,564
He's as fancy on the inside
as he is on the outside.
428
00:24:04,566 --> 00:24:06,365
Okay. What is it
you want me to do?
429
00:24:06,367 --> 00:24:10,303
I want you to try on
some clothes for Travis.
430
00:24:10,305 --> 00:24:15,909
Why don't we try on this
beautiful, handsome, white shirt?
431
00:24:15,911 --> 00:24:17,913
I want to see how
you look in it.
432
00:24:18,948 --> 00:24:20,214
- What the hell is this?
- Come on, David.
433
00:24:20,216 --> 00:24:21,849
This looks kind of gay.
No offense.
434
00:24:21,851 --> 00:24:23,583
Travis is bisexual.
435
00:24:23,585 --> 00:24:27,987
What? Whoa, whoa.
I'm not gonna play gay.
436
00:24:27,989 --> 00:24:29,523
- I... I'm sorry...
- I think you can.
437
00:24:29,525 --> 00:24:31,490
I like women, you know?
438
00:24:31,492 --> 00:24:35,294
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
439
00:24:35,296 --> 00:24:37,366
This is a man's shirt.
440
00:24:38,334 --> 00:24:39,466
Travis is a man.
441
00:24:39,468 --> 00:24:42,305
It says Ann Taylor Loft.
442
00:24:43,471 --> 00:24:45,538
Ann Taylor is the designer.
443
00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:47,341
Yeah, that's a women's designer.
444
00:24:47,343 --> 00:24:50,212
She's the designer.
She doesn't wear the shirt.
445
00:24:51,346 --> 00:24:53,415
The men and the women
will love you. Try it on.
446
00:24:55,617 --> 00:24:58,451
You do realize those people are
weird in there, don't you?
447
00:24:58,453 --> 00:25:00,120
Huh? No.
448
00:25:00,122 --> 00:25:01,354
No? What do
you mean no?
449
00:25:01,356 --> 00:25:03,489
You don't know that
they're not exactly normal?
450
00:25:03,491 --> 00:25:05,057
Um, no.
451
00:25:05,059 --> 00:25:07,093
I mean, do they have you
brainwashed or something?
452
00:25:07,095 --> 00:25:10,130
- What's brainwashed?
- Like, they think for you.
453
00:25:10,132 --> 00:25:11,665
You don't want to be like that.
You want to be normal like me.
454
00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:13,436
[snorts] Aah!
455
00:25:14,636 --> 00:25:17,137
- Sorry. I sneezed.
- Are you okay?
456
00:25:17,139 --> 00:25:20,573
Yeah, it's fine.
It's been a very hot day today.
457
00:25:20,575 --> 00:25:23,176
I bet. It's really
hotsy-totsy today.
458
00:25:23,178 --> 00:25:25,344
You don't have to say stuff like that.
It's kind of irritating.
459
00:25:25,346 --> 00:25:29,315
I mean, "hotsy-totsy,"
"sharing is caring."
460
00:25:29,317 --> 00:25:30,516
Yummy in my tummy.
461
00:25:30,518 --> 00:25:31,717
See, there you go again.
462
00:25:31,719 --> 00:25:34,487
I mean, why do you say stuff
like that? It's very irritating.
463
00:25:34,489 --> 00:25:36,989
So in other words, it rubs
you in the wrong way?
464
00:25:36,991 --> 00:25:38,292
Yeah, that's right.
465
00:25:38,294 --> 00:25:42,094
Meaning, it's not your cup of tea
and it doesn't float your boat?
466
00:25:42,096 --> 00:25:44,031
See, you're doing it again.
467
00:25:44,033 --> 00:25:45,465
You don't want people
to think you're abnormal
468
00:25:45,467 --> 00:25:47,333
or anything like that, right?
469
00:25:47,335 --> 00:25:50,670
Like those, uh, people
at that program.
470
00:25:50,672 --> 00:25:52,007
I don't know.
471
00:25:53,109 --> 00:25:56,075
No offense or anything,
but I think you're above them.
472
00:25:56,077 --> 00:25:57,209
What's your problem anyway?
473
00:25:57,211 --> 00:25:59,412
I don't know
what's wrong with you.
474
00:25:59,414 --> 00:26:02,416
Um, well, I have autism.
475
00:26:02,418 --> 00:26:03,386
Is that it?
476
00:26:04,652 --> 00:26:07,987
Um, no. I also have an LD.
477
00:26:07,989 --> 00:26:10,090
What is that,
like a venereal thing?
478
00:26:10,092 --> 00:26:11,457
No, it's a learning disability...
479
00:26:11,459 --> 00:26:17,331
Oh, huh. Well, I guess
everybody's got problems.
480
00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:18,665
That's true.
481
00:26:18,667 --> 00:26:20,370
So, what's
your problem, David?
482
00:26:21,336 --> 00:26:22,370
Um, I don't know.
483
00:26:22,372 --> 00:26:24,603
I guess I got a little bit
stressed out this year,
484
00:26:24,605 --> 00:26:27,943
but, uh, you know, I've been
getting better, you know?
485
00:26:39,988 --> 00:26:42,255
Why do you have to go home
so urgently anyhow?
486
00:26:42,257 --> 00:26:44,390
How about if I take you out
instead, tonight?
487
00:26:44,392 --> 00:26:47,494
But what will I tell
my grandmother?
488
00:26:47,496 --> 00:26:50,563
Well, if not, then how about
tomorrow night?
489
00:26:50,565 --> 00:26:52,365
Tomorrow is game night.
490
00:26:52,367 --> 00:26:53,400
Thursday?
491
00:26:53,402 --> 00:26:56,436
Thursday, we're going
on a field trip to the zoo.
492
00:26:56,438 --> 00:26:58,604
- How about Friday then?
- Friday is show tunes.
493
00:26:58,606 --> 00:26:59,773
Show tunes?
494
00:26:59,775 --> 00:27:02,344
Yeah, show tunes
is every single Friday.
495
00:27:03,478 --> 00:27:05,344
Every single Friday?
496
00:27:05,346 --> 00:27:08,247
I enjoy it very much,
show tunes.
497
00:27:08,249 --> 00:27:12,220
How about just miss one show tunes?
Just for me?
498
00:27:22,765 --> 00:27:24,531
So I guess I'll see you
this Friday?
499
00:27:24,533 --> 00:27:27,337
[bus approaching]
500
00:27:28,303 --> 00:27:30,006
- This is my bus.
- Yeah, there it is.
501
00:27:42,084 --> 00:27:45,584
We're gonna continue today working
with our theme of superheroes.
502
00:27:45,586 --> 00:27:46,652
Sound okay?
503
00:27:46,654 --> 00:27:48,354
[all] Yes! Wonderful!
504
00:27:48,356 --> 00:27:50,657
So, the question I asked
you guys last week,
505
00:27:50,659 --> 00:27:52,525
and I asked you to think
about it a little bit,
506
00:27:52,527 --> 00:27:56,228
was, if you had a superpower,
what would it be?
507
00:27:56,230 --> 00:28:00,100
Uh, I guess it would be to...
508
00:28:00,102 --> 00:28:04,838
I guess it would be to... to...
509
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,474
I guess it would be
to let them know
510
00:28:07,476 --> 00:28:10,610
who... the world know
who I really am, you know?
511
00:28:10,612 --> 00:28:12,646
[Delilah] To let the world
know who you really are.
512
00:28:12,648 --> 00:28:16,783
But to really express
myself in a variety of ways.
513
00:28:16,785 --> 00:28:19,486
My superpower would be
514
00:28:19,488 --> 00:28:24,557
to get Matt Cone
to fall in love with me
515
00:28:24,559 --> 00:28:25,825
and to propose to me.
516
00:28:25,827 --> 00:28:29,428
Matt Cone is kissing me,
517
00:28:29,430 --> 00:28:31,363
our shirts are off,
we're lying down.
518
00:28:31,365 --> 00:28:32,299
[giggling]
519
00:28:32,301 --> 00:28:35,101
His stomach is touching mine.
520
00:28:35,103 --> 00:28:38,405
All right. Let's try
to stay focused, okay?
521
00:28:38,407 --> 00:28:40,439
On the count of three,
I'm gonna ask you guys
522
00:28:40,441 --> 00:28:42,409
to change the way you're
sitting in your chair.
523
00:28:42,411 --> 00:28:46,082
And I want you to think about
how this superhero would sit.
524
00:28:46,882 --> 00:28:48,448
You ready?
525
00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:50,182
- Okay, hold on I didn't count to three yet.
- Oh, sorry.
526
00:28:50,184 --> 00:28:56,124
Okay, you ready?
One, two, three.
527
00:28:57,159 --> 00:28:59,126
Ooh, careful.
528
00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:03,196
Look at all of these
amazing superheroes here.
529
00:29:03,198 --> 00:29:05,133
What incredible characters.
530
00:29:06,869 --> 00:29:08,204
David.
531
00:29:09,438 --> 00:29:11,641
If you had a superpower,
what would it be?
532
00:29:14,142 --> 00:29:15,478
I'd be invisible.
533
00:29:18,646 --> 00:29:19,447
Why?
534
00:29:21,917 --> 00:29:24,217
So I can go into
the ladies' locker room.
535
00:29:24,219 --> 00:29:26,456
[all laughing]
536
00:29:27,922 --> 00:29:29,622
[applause]
537
00:29:29,624 --> 00:29:31,658
[man] To do this stunt,
takes a lot of confidence.
538
00:29:31,660 --> 00:29:34,497
You all should be confident.
539
00:29:38,167 --> 00:29:39,498
[man grunts]
540
00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,767
[crowd cheering]
541
00:29:41,769 --> 00:29:43,238
Give him a hand!
542
00:29:45,641 --> 00:29:48,909
So a guy walks
into a sex shop and says,
543
00:29:48,911 --> 00:29:50,580
"I want an inflatable doll."
544
00:29:52,381 --> 00:29:53,880
- And...
- What's an inflatable?
545
00:29:53,882 --> 00:29:55,948
You know, those sex dolls.
546
00:29:55,950 --> 00:29:58,384
You have sex with those
inflatable dolls
547
00:29:58,386 --> 00:30:00,687
that you see
at the Porno Stop.
548
00:30:00,689 --> 00:30:03,790
But, uh... So, he says,
549
00:30:03,792 --> 00:30:06,525
"Do you want a male doll or
a female doll to do it with?"
550
00:30:06,527 --> 00:30:09,563
"I want a female doll.
What do you think I'm gay
551
00:30:09,565 --> 00:30:11,531
and I want to do it
with a male doll?"
552
00:30:11,533 --> 00:30:14,534
"Okay, do you want a black doll
or a white doll?"
553
00:30:14,536 --> 00:30:17,803
"I don't know. I'm not sure.
I guess a white doll."
554
00:30:17,805 --> 00:30:20,372
That's so racist and offensive.
555
00:30:20,374 --> 00:30:22,208
Well, you want to hear it?
556
00:30:22,210 --> 00:30:24,276
It gets even more
racist and offensive.
557
00:30:24,278 --> 00:30:25,844
"Do you want
a Jewish inflatable doll,
558
00:30:25,846 --> 00:30:28,881
a Christian inflatable doll,
or a Muslim inflatable doll?"
559
00:30:28,883 --> 00:30:29,882
He goes,
"Why do you ask me that?"
560
00:30:29,884 --> 00:30:32,521
"Because the Muslims,
they blow themselves up!"
561
00:30:34,422 --> 00:30:36,691
Allah!
[trills tongue]
562
00:30:38,927 --> 00:30:39,959
You don't get it?
563
00:30:39,961 --> 00:30:41,428
No, I don't.
564
00:30:41,430 --> 00:30:43,697
I find it really offensive
and so confusing.
565
00:30:43,699 --> 00:30:46,332
So... So, you know
that girl that said,
566
00:30:46,334 --> 00:30:50,269
"I'm not working during the week because
I have to do camp in Cranford?"
567
00:30:50,271 --> 00:30:53,305
- Right.
- So I go, "Oh, well, I'm Jewish. I don't like to do camp."
568
00:30:53,307 --> 00:30:55,242
Hold on. What camp is this?
569
00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:56,775
I don't know. I think
it's a concentration...
570
00:30:56,777 --> 00:30:58,611
[snickers]
571
00:30:58,613 --> 00:31:00,380
I'm just kidding.
572
00:31:00,382 --> 00:31:01,784
That's not funny.
573
00:31:02,784 --> 00:31:04,883
Uh, I need to concentrate.
574
00:31:04,885 --> 00:31:08,021
Right. So, what camp is this?
575
00:31:08,023 --> 00:31:09,589
Um, I'm not sure.
576
00:31:09,591 --> 00:31:10,657
Okay.
577
00:31:10,659 --> 00:31:13,025
[stammers] But I go,
578
00:31:13,027 --> 00:31:16,362
"I don't like to go
to no camps. I'm Jewish."
579
00:31:16,364 --> 00:31:19,299
- Well, I'm... Well, you know what, David? I'm Jewish...
- I'm Jewish too.
580
00:31:19,301 --> 00:31:20,633
But I've been to sleep-away camp
and I've performed
581
00:31:20,635 --> 00:31:23,335
in a lot of musical theater
productions and plays...
582
00:31:23,337 --> 00:31:25,738
Oh, it was a stupid joke
I said. I'm sorry...
583
00:31:25,740 --> 00:31:28,874
Can you give me a time to ask
you, maybe, what the joke means?
584
00:31:28,876 --> 00:31:30,909
I'll explain the joke.
I mean, I'll explain the joke.
585
00:31:30,911 --> 00:31:32,911
Because... so I don't have to...
586
00:31:32,913 --> 00:31:34,480
Words can have
multiple meanings.
587
00:31:34,482 --> 00:31:36,382
It's like... yeah, there
were multiple meanings.
588
00:31:36,384 --> 00:31:37,851
Just like with, uh...
589
00:31:37,853 --> 00:31:39,919
Maybe when there's a pause, I can
ask you for clarification...
590
00:31:39,921 --> 00:31:41,321
- Words...
- Wait. Don't interrupt me.
591
00:31:41,323 --> 00:31:44,357
- I can ask you for clarification.
- I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm sorry.
592
00:31:44,359 --> 00:31:45,891
I'm getting nervous.
I didn't mean to interrupt...
593
00:31:45,893 --> 00:31:48,294
Maybe when there's a pause to ask
you so I know what it means.
594
00:31:48,296 --> 00:31:49,996
[Sarah] I need specifics.
595
00:31:49,998 --> 00:31:51,363
[David] I only said it
to make you laugh,
596
00:31:51,365 --> 00:31:52,799
not to make you argue with me.
597
00:31:52,801 --> 00:31:53,766
It sounds like "Who's on first."
598
00:31:53,768 --> 00:31:55,735
[Sarah] I don't want to hear
"Who's on First."
599
00:31:55,737 --> 00:31:59,038
I just... All I care about
is understanding your jokes.
600
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,373
Sarah, I made a boo-boo, okay?
601
00:32:01,375 --> 00:32:03,476
It's not you. It's me.
602
00:32:03,478 --> 00:32:06,780
You know, I didn't mean
to annoy you just now, okay?
603
00:32:06,782 --> 00:32:09,719
[classical music playing]
604
00:32:29,770 --> 00:32:32,572
- How you doing? Chicken and rice.
- [Sammy] David.
605
00:32:32,574 --> 00:32:34,807
- Hey.
- I have an opportunity
606
00:32:34,809 --> 00:32:37,646
- that I think you'll appreciate as a gay man.
- Thank you.
607
00:32:39,014 --> 00:32:40,112
What?
608
00:32:40,114 --> 00:32:41,948
Uh, lamb gyro, please.
609
00:32:41,950 --> 00:32:43,552
Dude, I'm not gay.
610
00:32:45,519 --> 00:32:47,353
- What?
- Sorry. I'm not gay.
611
00:32:47,355 --> 00:32:49,054
Thank you.
612
00:32:49,056 --> 00:32:50,823
But you have
such gay mannerisms.
613
00:32:50,825 --> 00:32:52,524
You're so artsy.
614
00:32:52,526 --> 00:32:57,697
You're so suave and you seem
to flirt with all the guys.
615
00:32:57,699 --> 00:33:02,468
How would you and Matt like
to come to our exclusive club
616
00:33:02,470 --> 00:33:04,103
of show tunes on Friday?
617
00:33:04,105 --> 00:33:05,971
I can't this Friday.
I have plans.
618
00:33:05,973 --> 00:33:07,442
Cancel them.
619
00:33:08,576 --> 00:33:11,611
Nah. I'm supposed
to see Sarah that day.
620
00:33:11,613 --> 00:33:13,582
Sarah is gonna be
at show tunes.
621
00:33:14,649 --> 00:33:15,982
She can't get out of it
this Friday?
622
00:33:15,984 --> 00:33:17,617
She can't ever.
623
00:33:17,619 --> 00:33:21,454
She is the star. She's the diva.
She's the songbird.
624
00:33:21,456 --> 00:33:22,688
She provides the music.
625
00:33:22,690 --> 00:33:24,593
Without her,
there'd be no music.
626
00:33:25,594 --> 00:33:26,993
Well, I gotta see
Sarah that day.
627
00:33:26,995 --> 00:33:29,461
I mean, we had plans,
you know?
628
00:33:29,463 --> 00:33:33,032
I mean, to go out on a date.
She's my girlfriend.
629
00:33:33,034 --> 00:33:34,133
What?
630
00:33:34,135 --> 00:33:35,735
Yeah, she's my girlfriend.
631
00:33:35,737 --> 00:33:39,805
Oh, my God. You know what then?
Never mind.
632
00:33:39,807 --> 00:33:41,707
Don't come to show tunes.
It's okay.
633
00:33:41,709 --> 00:33:44,476
Forget I ever said anything.
Don't come to show tunes.
634
00:33:44,478 --> 00:33:47,746
Wait, wait. What the hell? You just
offered me and then you take it away?
635
00:33:47,748 --> 00:33:50,784
- No, it's okay. I changed my mind.
- I gotta see Sarah that day.
636
00:33:50,786 --> 00:33:53,922
You can see Sarah another day.
Please don't come to show tunes.
637
00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:56,925
Why not?
638
00:33:57,758 --> 00:33:59,627
Why not?
639
00:34:04,132 --> 00:34:05,500
How much?
640
00:34:06,834 --> 00:34:08,066
$12.
641
00:34:08,068 --> 00:34:09,404
There you go.
642
00:34:10,605 --> 00:34:12,071
- Keep the change.
- Thank you.
643
00:34:12,073 --> 00:34:13,642
- Have a good day.
- Thank you.
644
00:34:26,821 --> 00:34:30,656
Your turn, Zach,
if that's your real name.
645
00:34:30,658 --> 00:34:34,127
Uh, how about something
from Les Mis.
646
00:34:34,129 --> 00:34:35,728
Could we please
do something else?
647
00:34:35,730 --> 00:34:36,895
We hear it all
the time from Sarah.
648
00:34:36,897 --> 00:34:38,964
- [woman] How about a song from Cats?
- Which version?
649
00:34:38,966 --> 00:34:40,732
[Zach] Can it be the same one?
650
00:34:40,734 --> 00:34:44,536
I'd prefer it wasn't. We like
some variety in this thing.
651
00:34:44,538 --> 00:34:46,806
Zach, could you
pick something else?
652
00:34:46,808 --> 00:34:48,741
- No...
- [woman] It's up to him, Sammy...
653
00:34:48,743 --> 00:34:50,946
All right.
Your turn, hippy guy.
654
00:34:52,513 --> 00:34:55,647
My name is Dylan.
Don't call me that ever again.
655
00:34:55,649 --> 00:34:57,951
Well, it's your pick.
656
00:34:57,953 --> 00:35:01,556
- "The Acid Queen."
- [man] Great song, but not a show tune.
657
00:35:04,826 --> 00:35:09,031
[chattering]
658
00:35:14,669 --> 00:35:17,971
How about, um, "Paradox"
659
00:35:17,973 --> 00:35:21,107
or "When You Had Left Your Pirate
Fold" from Pirates of Penzance?
660
00:35:21,109 --> 00:35:22,641
You always pick that one,
661
00:35:22,643 --> 00:35:27,580
but the game requires me
to indulge you.
662
00:35:27,582 --> 00:35:30,083
[opera music playing]
663
00:35:30,085 --> 00:35:32,721
[woman singing]
664
00:35:41,596 --> 00:35:42,731
[Sammy] David?
665
00:35:43,297 --> 00:35:44,630
[David] Hey, everybody.
666
00:35:44,632 --> 00:35:46,468
What are you doing here?
667
00:35:47,736 --> 00:35:49,071
I told you not to come.
668
00:35:52,306 --> 00:35:53,942
[David]
I gotta give this to you.
669
00:35:56,176 --> 00:35:58,810
Wow, you look great.
670
00:35:58,812 --> 00:36:00,746
I mean,
you look great in red too.
671
00:36:00,748 --> 00:36:02,884
I love the red dress,
by the way, you know.
672
00:36:05,020 --> 00:36:07,554
I was figuring maybe you
wanna get together later,
673
00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:09,154
after this thing, you know.
674
00:36:09,156 --> 00:36:10,492
Go out somewhere to eat?
675
00:36:15,029 --> 00:36:18,533
Why... Why aren't you happy to see me?
[muttering]
676
00:36:20,768 --> 00:36:23,870
David, I know how
smokin' hot and sexy you are,
677
00:36:23,872 --> 00:36:26,172
but this is not
the right time and the place
678
00:36:26,174 --> 00:36:28,007
to be having this conversation.
679
00:36:28,009 --> 00:36:30,079
We're not gonna
discuss it here any further.
680
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,748
[opera music continues]
681
00:36:35,750 --> 00:36:38,587
So, what exactly is it
that you do, David?
682
00:36:39,353 --> 00:36:40,723
I'm a filmmaker.
683
00:36:41,355 --> 00:36:42,688
Uh-huh.
684
00:36:42,690 --> 00:36:44,656
I have
a project in the works.
685
00:36:44,658 --> 00:36:49,261
Let me guess. You still
live with your parents.
686
00:36:49,263 --> 00:36:51,897
Never earned a nickel
in your life
687
00:36:51,899 --> 00:36:53,333
and never actually
make films,
688
00:36:53,335 --> 00:36:55,301
just talk about making them.
689
00:36:55,303 --> 00:36:58,370
Am I on point here so far?
690
00:36:58,372 --> 00:37:00,607
[David]
I'm a legit filmmaker.
691
00:37:00,609 --> 00:37:02,875
I have a film
which is in consideration
692
00:37:02,877 --> 00:37:05,011
of the Palm Beach
International Film Festival.
693
00:37:05,013 --> 00:37:07,746
Here, take a look at this.
My movie.
694
00:37:07,748 --> 00:37:11,020
[movie score plays on phone]
695
00:37:24,031 --> 00:37:26,833
Please take that thing
out of my face.
696
00:37:26,835 --> 00:37:29,301
A bunch of random home movies
strung together
697
00:37:29,303 --> 00:37:30,772
- in no aesthetic order.
- [music stops]
698
00:37:31,973 --> 00:37:35,942
So, Sarah, my darling,
it is your turn.
699
00:37:35,944 --> 00:37:37,976
[Sammy]
Why don't you ever let me sing?
700
00:37:37,978 --> 00:37:42,151
As my girlfriend,
Sarah has special privileges.
701
00:37:45,252 --> 00:37:48,056
Now sing,
my beautiful songbird.
702
00:37:52,093 --> 00:37:57,996
♪ Let me call you sweetheart ♪
703
00:37:57,998 --> 00:38:00,199
Magnificent. Brava!
704
00:38:00,201 --> 00:38:03,136
- [Sarah continues singing]
- Sarah and Will are a couple?
705
00:38:03,138 --> 00:38:04,739
Let me explain.
706
00:38:06,274 --> 00:38:07,643
Sarah...
707
00:38:09,109 --> 00:38:13,946
is basically a player
or a "man-izer."
708
00:38:13,948 --> 00:38:14,913
Whoa.
709
00:38:14,915 --> 00:38:16,748
This is part of her nature.
710
00:38:16,750 --> 00:38:20,219
She said she really likes me,
that I'm the cat's meow.
711
00:38:20,221 --> 00:38:23,755
She also describes
the Holocaust as "a bummer."
712
00:38:23,757 --> 00:38:25,761
Can you understand
this about her?
713
00:38:26,261 --> 00:38:27,726
Yeah.
714
00:38:27,728 --> 00:38:30,698
Don't expect anything
other than dates and sex.
715
00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:37,772
Can we play the title song
of Anything Goes?
716
00:38:57,926 --> 00:39:00,025
[coins jangle]
Help a brother out, man?
717
00:39:00,027 --> 00:39:02,261
Get that fuckin' thing
out of my face!
718
00:39:02,263 --> 00:39:05,998
It's not my fault you fucked your
life up, you fucking asshole!
719
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,969
Fuck you, you bum!
Fuck you!
720
00:39:09,971 --> 00:39:11,837
- Chill out, dude.
- [spits]
721
00:39:11,839 --> 00:39:13,142
Shut the fuck up!
722
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:17,342
[Sammy] Okay, Sarah. Zach.
723
00:39:17,344 --> 00:39:20,045
Now, we did scene three before.
724
00:39:20,047 --> 00:39:22,380
Now, we're gonna
try it without scripts.
725
00:39:22,382 --> 00:39:25,451
That being said,
Zach, same thing.
726
00:39:25,453 --> 00:39:27,319
Butt naked would be best.
727
00:39:27,321 --> 00:39:30,223
- If you...
- All my clothes are staying on...
728
00:39:30,225 --> 00:39:31,824
Then that is fine.
729
00:39:31,826 --> 00:39:33,826
- To him directly?
- Yes.
730
00:39:33,828 --> 00:39:36,362
Oh, Travis, I'm so impressed
you came to me...
731
00:39:36,364 --> 00:39:37,830
- Sarah!
- What?
732
00:39:37,832 --> 00:39:38,931
You don't know his name.
733
00:39:38,933 --> 00:39:40,799
No, just say it
without the name?
734
00:39:40,801 --> 00:39:42,000
Say it without the name.
735
00:39:42,002 --> 00:39:45,337
Oh, my God. I'm so
impressed you came to me.
736
00:39:45,339 --> 00:39:48,406
The joy of my life! It makes me...
I'm so thrilled.
737
00:39:48,408 --> 00:39:50,475
- Sarah.
- What?
738
00:39:50,477 --> 00:39:52,310
Do you tell him
how you feel right away?
739
00:39:52,312 --> 00:39:53,281
No.
740
00:39:56,551 --> 00:39:58,518
Why you didn't tell me
you had a boyfriend?
741
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,353
What do you mean?
742
00:40:00,355 --> 00:40:01,554
Exactly what I meant.
743
00:40:01,556 --> 00:40:03,759
Why you didn't tell me
you had a boyfriend?
744
00:40:06,261 --> 00:40:09,828
Well, I don't know how you felt
about open relationships...
745
00:40:09,830 --> 00:40:13,399
Oh! Open relationships?
This is what you call this?
746
00:40:13,401 --> 00:40:19,205
David, I still need to... I need to
still properly smooth you out here.
747
00:40:19,207 --> 00:40:22,808
I mean, what you
don't understand is,
748
00:40:22,810 --> 00:40:25,277
there's so much
fish out there in the sea.
749
00:40:25,279 --> 00:40:27,580
And you let all these fish,
uh, touch you.
750
00:40:27,582 --> 00:40:31,551
No, it's just, all these men who
are on top of me, all over me...
751
00:40:31,553 --> 00:40:32,888
Oh, my God.
752
00:40:34,154 --> 00:40:35,420
Or on my lap.
753
00:40:35,422 --> 00:40:38,591
What? Am I hearing right?
754
00:40:38,593 --> 00:40:40,493
They sit on your lap
and all that?
755
00:40:40,495 --> 00:40:42,161
My God.
756
00:40:42,163 --> 00:40:45,565
Okay, I'm gonna use a really,
really ugly word right now.
757
00:40:45,567 --> 00:40:46,899
I'm not ugly.
758
00:40:46,901 --> 00:40:48,433
I didn't say you were ugly.
759
00:40:48,435 --> 00:40:51,237
I said I'm using an ugly word.
760
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,909
Does the word "promiscuous"
mean anything to you?
761
00:40:54,442 --> 00:40:56,174
No.
762
00:40:56,176 --> 00:40:59,879
It means that these men
do not respect you,
763
00:40:59,881 --> 00:41:01,817
that they just want you
for one thing.
764
00:41:03,884 --> 00:41:06,919
Right in the spur
of the moment,
765
00:41:06,921 --> 00:41:10,957
I feel as though you're putting a lot of
social and emotional pressure right now to me.
766
00:41:10,959 --> 00:41:15,998
When was the last time Will actually
included you in a conversation, huh?
767
00:41:20,033 --> 00:41:22,400
See? I'm not pressuring you.
768
00:41:22,402 --> 00:41:23,969
You do what you want to.
769
00:41:23,971 --> 00:41:27,176
I'm not gonna force you
to be my girlfriend.
770
00:41:31,346 --> 00:41:32,414
Whatever.
771
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,089
[door closes]
772
00:41:47,462 --> 00:41:50,663
[Dorsey] Sarah and David,
you had some homework, right?
773
00:41:50,665 --> 00:41:53,869
You went to the Brooklyn Bridge?
How was it?
774
00:41:55,937 --> 00:41:57,636
It's kind of irritating.
775
00:41:57,638 --> 00:41:59,440
[Dorsey]
Okay. Irritating how?
776
00:42:01,442 --> 00:42:04,847
Sarah, what about you? What did
you think of the Brooklyn Bridge?
777
00:42:06,180 --> 00:42:09,047
Well, to be very honest
with you, Dorsey,
778
00:42:09,049 --> 00:42:15,120
um, even though David found it really
irritating to focus on the positive,
779
00:42:15,122 --> 00:42:17,390
I had a wonderful time.
780
00:42:17,392 --> 00:42:19,257
Terrific memories there.
781
00:42:19,259 --> 00:42:22,127
- [Dorsey] Can anybody else relate to that?
- [man] Yeah. Yeah.
782
00:42:22,129 --> 00:42:28,634
I don't envy anybody, you know,
as far as... [indistinct]
783
00:42:28,636 --> 00:42:31,373
But sometimes...
784
00:42:33,207 --> 00:42:35,074
[Sammy]
This is what I'll do is...
785
00:42:35,076 --> 00:42:38,611
♪ I'm as horny
As Kansas in August ♪
786
00:42:38,613 --> 00:42:40,346
[laughing]
787
00:42:40,348 --> 00:42:42,248
♪ Someone's in the kitchen
With... ♪
788
00:42:42,250 --> 00:42:44,018
[car approaches]
789
00:42:46,587 --> 00:42:49,157
[electric window whirring]
790
00:42:52,593 --> 00:42:54,263
[driver]
Are you getting in, Mr. Cohen?
791
00:43:11,212 --> 00:43:13,315
W-What about your friends?
792
00:43:29,129 --> 00:43:31,132
[David]
One, two...
793
00:43:32,366 --> 00:43:34,135
[yells] Ah! Be angry!
794
00:43:34,768 --> 00:43:36,337
- [game dings]
- Woo!
795
00:43:36,738 --> 00:43:38,237
Wow.
796
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,038
- Yay!
- One more for good luck!
797
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,109
- [dings]
- You gonna kiss your boyfriend?
798
00:43:43,710 --> 00:43:45,478
What about you, girl?
799
00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,116
- [Sarah] I don't know how.
- [David] Here, use this, use this.
800
00:43:48,716 --> 00:43:50,348
I just felt like watching.
801
00:43:50,350 --> 00:43:53,419
I have very severe
diet restrictions to gluten.
802
00:43:53,421 --> 00:43:55,620
I wanna make sure
there's no gluten.
803
00:43:55,622 --> 00:43:58,491
I just wanna make it absolutely
very, very crystal clear.
804
00:43:58,493 --> 00:44:01,761
And if it has no gluten, I would
really love the lobster salad.
805
00:44:01,763 --> 00:44:04,129
Does mayonnaise
have gluten in it? No.
806
00:44:04,131 --> 00:44:06,132
- [man speaking, indistinct]
- All right. Okay, yeah.
807
00:44:06,134 --> 00:44:08,533
Look at this. This is fun.
808
00:44:08,535 --> 00:44:11,270
[seagull crying]
809
00:44:11,272 --> 00:44:14,806
It doesn't have to necessarily be
on the beach, David, you know?
810
00:44:14,808 --> 00:44:16,475
Well, this is what
the beach is about.
811
00:44:16,477 --> 00:44:19,511
David, I just really don't
like the sand on my feet. It...
812
00:44:19,513 --> 00:44:22,214
Come on. I just want
to hold your hand.
813
00:44:22,216 --> 00:44:23,815
Can't we do something else?
814
00:44:23,817 --> 00:44:25,650
Like mix and match
and explore a variety...
815
00:44:25,652 --> 00:44:28,788
What do you want to do Sarah? Okay?
What do you want to do? Okay?
816
00:44:28,790 --> 00:44:31,656
- What I want to do David, so badly...
- We're in Coney Island here.
817
00:44:31,658 --> 00:44:34,192
There's like a million things to do here.
What do you want to do?
818
00:44:34,194 --> 00:44:35,328
- [David] Oh, my God.
- [Sarah] What is this ride?
819
00:44:35,330 --> 00:44:37,663
- [David yells] Uh!
- [Sarah] David, look! Look at this.
820
00:44:37,665 --> 00:44:39,397
I love...
This looks so exciting.
821
00:44:39,399 --> 00:44:41,433
- Look at the one right here! Look!
- Uh!
822
00:44:41,435 --> 00:44:45,203
David, sweetheart, this looks
so exciting and tantalizing.
823
00:44:45,205 --> 00:44:48,107
- [riders screaming]
- [David] It looks like the strings are gonna break.
824
00:44:48,109 --> 00:44:49,275
I don't want
you to get hurt.
825
00:44:49,277 --> 00:44:51,143
We won't get hurt.
You'll protect me.
826
00:44:51,145 --> 00:44:53,348
I want to go
on that with you.
827
00:44:55,616 --> 00:44:58,250
[David] I just figured
you'd like the teacups,
828
00:44:58,252 --> 00:45:01,152
the horsey rides, the boats.
829
00:45:01,154 --> 00:45:03,489
Perfect for a lady like you,
you know?
830
00:45:03,491 --> 00:45:06,292
I don't want to go on the baby rides.
I've aged out of those stages.
831
00:45:06,294 --> 00:45:07,359
Do you want to go
on the sling ride?
832
00:45:07,361 --> 00:45:10,562
- Where's the sling ride?
- Look at it, up in the air.
833
00:45:10,564 --> 00:45:12,598
- [Sarah] The boat rides are still not appropriate for my...
- [David] Okay.
834
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:14,500
[Sarah] The boat rides
are still very babyish.
835
00:45:14,502 --> 00:45:18,136
We can always go on the horsey ride,
you know, like the merry-go-round?
836
00:45:18,138 --> 00:45:19,605
Everybody goes
on the merry-go-round.
837
00:45:19,607 --> 00:45:22,540
- Everyone of all ages. It's not just for babies...
- Okay.
838
00:45:22,542 --> 00:45:24,445
- Okay, I trust you on that. We'll do that.
- Okay.
839
00:45:37,524 --> 00:45:41,095
[kids chattering]
840
00:45:42,430 --> 00:45:45,797
What's wrong?
Don't you want a horse?
841
00:45:45,799 --> 00:45:47,602
No, horses are not for men.
842
00:45:48,602 --> 00:45:49,537
All right.
843
00:45:59,180 --> 00:46:01,679
[ride clacks, whirs]
844
00:46:01,681 --> 00:46:07,122
[calliope music playing]
845
00:46:10,625 --> 00:46:12,561
Whoo-hoo!
846
00:46:13,761 --> 00:46:16,629
Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
847
00:46:16,631 --> 00:46:18,297
[snorts]
848
00:46:18,299 --> 00:46:21,369
I'm having a blast, David. Whoo!
849
00:46:23,803 --> 00:46:25,639
Whoo!
850
00:46:27,507 --> 00:46:28,641
Whoo-hoo!
851
00:46:28,643 --> 00:46:30,942
[snorts] Aah!
852
00:46:30,944 --> 00:46:32,444
[snorts]
853
00:46:32,446 --> 00:46:33,946
Sorry.
It's my allergies.
854
00:46:33,948 --> 00:46:36,384
[snorts] Aah!
855
00:46:37,652 --> 00:46:39,451
[snorts] Aah!
856
00:46:39,453 --> 00:46:40,689
Aah!
857
00:46:46,893 --> 00:46:49,397
It's okay. It's okay.
858
00:46:53,834 --> 00:46:55,169
Aah!
859
00:46:57,437 --> 00:46:59,837
Aah!
[shouting, indistinct]
860
00:46:59,839 --> 00:47:01,609
[shouting continues]
861
00:47:08,616 --> 00:47:10,485
[shouts, indistinct]
862
00:47:11,551 --> 00:47:13,220
[shouts, indistinct]
863
00:47:24,998 --> 00:47:27,435
[snorts] Aah!
864
00:47:31,571 --> 00:47:33,240
Aah!
865
00:47:35,810 --> 00:47:37,710
[snorts]
866
00:47:37,712 --> 00:47:39,347
Aah!
867
00:47:52,426 --> 00:47:55,594
Uh, about that thing,
the horsey ride.
868
00:47:55,596 --> 00:48:00,498
I just got real sick, that's
all, but I'm okay now, you know?
869
00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:04,205
I mean, uh, I'm not contagious
or anything like...
870
00:48:06,940 --> 00:48:09,777
Sarah, look at me.
I'm okay.
871
00:48:12,980 --> 00:48:15,584
I mean, I've really
been getting better.
872
00:48:55,388 --> 00:48:57,955
[Sarah]
♪ By the place ♪
873
00:48:57,957 --> 00:49:02,560
♪ Where I am lying ♪
874
00:49:02,562 --> 00:49:05,998
♪ And kneel and say ♪
875
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:09,667
♪ An ave there for me ♪
876
00:49:09,669 --> 00:49:13,938
Well, I always say you can't go wrong
with a little Gilbert and Sullivan.
877
00:49:13,940 --> 00:49:16,574
Gilbert and Sullivan?
For this?
878
00:49:16,576 --> 00:49:19,611
How about some
Justin Timberlake?
879
00:49:19,613 --> 00:49:20,444
Hey, Will.
880
00:49:20,446 --> 00:49:22,114
Let's do "Mirrors"
or "Cry Me a River."
881
00:49:22,116 --> 00:49:24,583
They're both
on your "best" list.
882
00:49:24,585 --> 00:49:28,020
♪ Don't tell me
That you love me ♪
883
00:49:28,022 --> 00:49:32,091
[David] I'm excited to see what
you present in the showcase.
884
00:49:32,093 --> 00:49:36,562
[Will] Oh, really? I thought
you were just passing through.
885
00:49:36,564 --> 00:49:40,399
♪ Until you come ♪
886
00:49:40,401 --> 00:49:47,341
♪ To me ♪
887
00:49:48,743 --> 00:49:51,846
[applause]
888
00:49:55,915 --> 00:49:58,585
Are you
a fairy princess?
889
00:50:00,388 --> 00:50:02,154
I really love
your outfit.
890
00:50:02,156 --> 00:50:04,623
It's so beautiful.
891
00:50:04,625 --> 00:50:07,594
I love green.
It's my favorite color.
892
00:50:10,598 --> 00:50:16,567
♪ My country, 'tis of thee ♪
893
00:50:16,569 --> 00:50:22,574
♪ Sweet land of liberty ♪
894
00:50:22,576 --> 00:50:27,145
♪ Of thee I sing ♪
895
00:50:27,147 --> 00:50:29,681
Hey, thank you.
Thank you.
896
00:50:29,683 --> 00:50:30,748
God bless you.
897
00:50:30,750 --> 00:50:33,051
Here we are.
My cousin's play.
898
00:50:33,053 --> 00:50:34,723
You're just
gonna love it.
899
00:50:48,669 --> 00:50:51,373
[applause]
900
00:50:59,913 --> 00:51:03,614
Hey, Matt, it's David.
Um, we just saw your show.
901
00:51:03,616 --> 00:51:06,551
Um, we're still at the theater,
so I don't know what to do.
902
00:51:06,553 --> 00:51:08,520
You wanna meet us
at the restaurant?
903
00:51:08,522 --> 00:51:10,489
Is there anything I can
help you with though?
904
00:51:10,491 --> 00:51:11,790
No, I don't really
need anything.
905
00:51:11,792 --> 00:51:16,495
I wanna know what your hobbies are.
What are you passionate about?
906
00:51:16,497 --> 00:51:18,062
I don't...
I don't have hobbies.
907
00:51:18,064 --> 00:51:20,933
I just... I just work.
908
00:51:20,935 --> 00:51:23,634
Oh. What are you so passionate
about working in the theater?
909
00:51:23,636 --> 00:51:26,138
What do you love
about it so much?
910
00:51:26,140 --> 00:51:27,473
Nothing.
911
00:51:27,475 --> 00:51:29,944
I don't love
anything about it.
912
00:51:30,977 --> 00:51:32,946
Please give me a call, okay?
913
00:51:34,247 --> 00:51:35,681
- Hi.
- Hey.
914
00:51:35,683 --> 00:51:37,683
We're not exactly asking
for autographs.
915
00:51:37,685 --> 00:51:39,551
Have you, uh,
seen Matt Cone?
916
00:51:39,553 --> 00:51:41,853
I just work the door.
I'm just security.
917
00:51:41,855 --> 00:51:45,656
If I show my ticket stubs, can I go in?
I really gotta see him.
918
00:51:45,658 --> 00:51:47,058
You can't go
in here.
919
00:51:47,060 --> 00:51:50,194
Well, they do come out
here, the actors, right?
920
00:51:50,196 --> 00:51:52,563
I'm not asking
for any trouble.
921
00:51:52,565 --> 00:51:54,565
I'm not a bad person
or anything. I just...
922
00:51:54,567 --> 00:51:56,835
You're not getting any trouble.
There's no trouble.
923
00:51:56,837 --> 00:51:58,569
You just can't go
in this door.
924
00:51:58,571 --> 00:51:59,837
He's my cousin, you know?
925
00:51:59,839 --> 00:52:02,074
I don't care
who your cousin is
926
00:52:02,076 --> 00:52:04,775
or your brother or your
uncle, your grandmother.
927
00:52:04,777 --> 00:52:05,844
I don't care.
928
00:52:05,846 --> 00:52:07,779
I feel like you're
angry at the world.
929
00:52:07,781 --> 00:52:09,915
Why don't you just
lighten up, you know?
930
00:52:09,917 --> 00:52:11,516
I'll tell you a joke.
931
00:52:11,518 --> 00:52:14,752
Shia LaBeouf was in the car
with Lindsay Lohan.
932
00:52:14,754 --> 00:52:17,255
Do you know who was driving?
933
00:52:17,257 --> 00:52:18,725
The cops.
934
00:52:20,593 --> 00:52:22,729
You trying to get hurt?
You wanna get hurt tonight?
935
00:52:25,799 --> 00:52:28,866
Being up so late,
it's gorgeous.
936
00:52:28,868 --> 00:52:31,004
Well, hurry up.
The light. The light.
937
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,274
David, it's
so deserted here.
938
00:52:35,276 --> 00:52:38,743
Like, there's... Like, there's no one.
There's no souls.
939
00:52:38,745 --> 00:52:41,013
- Like, it's practically not even...
- Yeah, nobody here.
940
00:52:41,015 --> 00:52:43,750
- Watch out for those bikers.
- [giggles]
941
00:52:47,788 --> 00:52:50,589
- Isn't this place great?
- Oh, my God.
942
00:52:50,591 --> 00:52:53,091
You know you're at a good restaurant
when the ambience is beautiful.
943
00:52:53,093 --> 00:52:55,497
- [Sarah] Oh, my God.
- Take a look at the menu.
944
00:52:59,232 --> 00:53:01,833
David, but the language
is so confusing.
945
00:53:01,835 --> 00:53:04,803
- I mean...
- That's because it's Italian. It's another, uh, country.
946
00:53:04,805 --> 00:53:07,038
David, I don't speak any Italian.
It's very confusing.
947
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:08,339
I don't either.
948
00:53:08,341 --> 00:53:10,074
Just order anything
that sounds pretty.
949
00:53:10,076 --> 00:53:14,279
Under "antipasti,"
there's asparagi di campo,
950
00:53:14,281 --> 00:53:17,015
asparagi olive oil,
951
00:53:17,017 --> 00:53:19,650
foggi montinada.
952
00:53:19,652 --> 00:53:22,219
David, that's so confusing
953
00:53:22,221 --> 00:53:24,989
that I have no idea
what that means.
954
00:53:24,991 --> 00:53:26,292
That's how Italian works,
you know?
955
00:53:26,294 --> 00:53:29,226
Good evening. Hi. My name is Kevin.
I'll be taking care of you.
956
00:53:29,228 --> 00:53:30,495
- Hey, Kevin.
- Good evening, Kevin.
957
00:53:30,497 --> 00:53:32,931
- What's up, Kevin?
- Something for the lovely lady and gentleman?
958
00:53:32,933 --> 00:53:35,199
Well, I just want you to know
I'm expecting two more people.
959
00:53:35,201 --> 00:53:38,036
Oh, great. Well, we do have
some specials tonight.
960
00:53:38,038 --> 00:53:40,871
Mozzarella con funghi.
Scaloppine tutta terra.
961
00:53:40,873 --> 00:53:43,007
- Mmm.
- Farfalle con pollo.
962
00:53:43,009 --> 00:53:45,076
Carciofi. Marsala.
963
00:53:45,078 --> 00:53:47,913
Salmone. That's with
the little white wine sauce.
964
00:53:47,915 --> 00:53:50,915
It sounds so beautiful
and romantic.
965
00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:52,384
See, it sounds like music, Sarah.
It sounds great.
966
00:53:52,386 --> 00:53:55,920
Here, why don't you order whatever you
want, okay? Excuse me for a minute.
967
00:53:55,922 --> 00:53:58,924
Okeydokey artichokey.
Oh, my goodness.
968
00:53:58,926 --> 00:54:01,158
I mean, we're holding
the table for you,
969
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,661
but you wanna meet for drinks
after or something?
970
00:54:03,663 --> 00:54:06,864
[Matt] Ah, sorry, bud. This
cast party's not letting out.
971
00:54:06,866 --> 00:54:08,966
But it'll be just you and me next time.
I promise.
972
00:54:08,968 --> 00:54:11,737
Yeah, yeah. And Sarah.
You gotta meet this girl.
973
00:54:11,739 --> 00:54:15,140
She's beautiful, classy,
and goes crazy about me, Matt.
974
00:54:15,142 --> 00:54:17,708
All right, buddy.
I can't wait to meet her.
975
00:54:17,710 --> 00:54:20,679
Yeah, we'll do a double date.
976
00:54:20,681 --> 00:54:24,016
Wow. This is a lot of food.
977
00:54:24,018 --> 00:54:27,152
I'm glad you're getting comfortable here.
How do you like it?
978
00:54:27,154 --> 00:54:29,857
- This is to die from.
- Yeah, it's good, isn't it?
979
00:54:31,125 --> 00:54:32,391
[slurping]
980
00:54:32,393 --> 00:54:34,629
- Mmm. [laughs]
- Mmm.
981
00:54:35,995 --> 00:54:38,263
- [slurping continues] Mmm.
- [laughs]
982
00:54:38,265 --> 00:54:41,266
And here we are.
983
00:54:41,268 --> 00:54:44,036
- [David] Wow.
- [waiter] Would you like anything else?
984
00:54:44,038 --> 00:54:47,075
[David] Um, no. I'll just
have the check. Here.
985
00:54:48,841 --> 00:54:50,308
Great.
986
00:54:50,310 --> 00:54:51,877
I've never seen you
so happy before.
987
00:54:51,879 --> 00:54:53,147
Aren't you glad
you came here?
988
00:55:00,286 --> 00:55:02,888
This is a $900 bill.
989
00:55:02,890 --> 00:55:04,993
What were you doing there,
traveling Europe?
990
00:55:05,759 --> 00:55:08,159
I met a girl.
991
00:55:08,161 --> 00:55:11,862
David, come on. One of the Internet
women, your imaginary girlfriends?
992
00:55:11,864 --> 00:55:13,431
No, this girl's real.
993
00:55:13,433 --> 00:55:15,102
[Mother] Sure she is.
994
00:55:18,739 --> 00:55:20,141
She wants to marry me.
995
00:55:22,042 --> 00:55:23,241
What?
996
00:55:23,243 --> 00:55:25,210
David, that is not funny.
997
00:55:25,212 --> 00:55:26,814
[Mother]
Where is she from?
998
00:55:29,382 --> 00:55:31,252
From that group?
999
00:55:33,786 --> 00:55:36,120
This is a gold digger.
1000
00:55:36,122 --> 00:55:36,955
From now on,
1001
00:55:36,957 --> 00:55:38,924
you go to your classes,
you come home.
1002
00:55:38,926 --> 00:55:40,125
Look, I'll pay you back.
1003
00:55:40,127 --> 00:55:42,797
You couldn't pay me back
for a Life Saver.
1004
00:55:45,232 --> 00:55:46,964
It's not the money.
1005
00:55:46,966 --> 00:55:49,234
It's where will you be
when we're gone.
1006
00:55:49,236 --> 00:55:52,239
Who's gonna take care of you
when Dad and I are gone?
1007
00:56:10,323 --> 00:56:12,726
[doorbell rings]
1008
00:56:17,230 --> 00:56:18,832
Hi.
1009
00:56:22,468 --> 00:56:24,037
[door closes]
1010
00:56:54,368 --> 00:56:56,167
[woman] Sarah.
1011
00:56:56,169 --> 00:56:57,569
Hi, Grandma.
1012
00:56:57,571 --> 00:56:59,069
Hi. Who's this?
1013
00:56:59,071 --> 00:57:02,339
This is my boyfriend,
David Cohen.
1014
00:57:02,341 --> 00:57:04,275
- Hi, David.
- How are ya?
1015
00:57:04,277 --> 00:57:07,444
Would you like
a tequila?
1016
00:57:07,446 --> 00:57:10,549
Uh, no, thanks.
I'm not thirsty.
1017
00:57:10,551 --> 00:57:13,284
- But thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
1018
00:57:13,286 --> 00:57:14,152
Okay.
1019
00:57:14,154 --> 00:57:16,420
- Excuse me. I'm going in.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1020
00:57:16,422 --> 00:57:17,325
Yeah,
it's all right.
1021
00:57:20,127 --> 00:57:21,493
- [door closes]
- She's my grandma.
1022
00:57:21,495 --> 00:57:22,594
Oh.
1023
00:57:22,596 --> 00:57:24,161
She's an alcoholic.
1024
00:57:24,163 --> 00:57:25,132
Oh.
1025
00:57:39,446 --> 00:57:41,179
There's me
at my bar mitzvah.
1026
00:57:41,181 --> 00:57:42,179
Oh.
1027
00:57:42,181 --> 00:57:45,252
Yeah. I was
a cute kid back then.
1028
00:57:53,259 --> 00:57:55,192
That's my prom date.
1029
00:57:55,194 --> 00:57:57,364
I didn't even get
to kiss her.
1030
00:57:58,464 --> 00:58:00,065
That's too bad.
1031
00:58:00,067 --> 00:58:02,069
Well, that's high school.
1032
00:58:53,953 --> 00:58:56,122
[Father]
Say hi to the camera, David.
1033
00:59:17,277 --> 00:59:20,145
So what do you think, huh?
Isn't it great?
1034
00:59:20,147 --> 00:59:22,917
I mean, that's my whole
autobiography, you know.
1035
00:59:24,216 --> 00:59:28,018
O-Overall, I really,
really loved it. Um...
1036
00:59:28,020 --> 00:59:29,386
It's a powerful film.
1037
00:59:29,388 --> 00:59:32,690
You have to admit, it is very
creative, don't you think?
1038
00:59:32,692 --> 00:59:35,359
Yeah, it's really...
1039
00:59:35,361 --> 00:59:41,333
To be very honest with you, I mean,
it's very powerful and very creative.
1040
00:59:41,335 --> 00:59:44,234
I really loved it very, very
much overall, except for...
1041
00:59:44,236 --> 00:59:46,304
That's right.
It's a work of art.
1042
00:59:46,306 --> 00:59:50,308
Yeah, that's what I really loved
about it, for everything,
1043
00:59:50,310 --> 00:59:54,011
except for the ending, which
was really, really confusing.
1044
00:59:54,013 --> 00:59:55,714
But that's the point.
1045
00:59:55,716 --> 01:00:00,484
Nobody says when I grow up,
I choose to be that, you know?
1046
01:00:00,486 --> 01:00:04,254
And sometimes changes
happen for the worst,
1047
01:00:04,256 --> 01:00:08,261
and people just have a sad ending
after that, and that's realistic.
1048
01:00:09,495 --> 01:00:11,261
Yuh! Like that.
1049
01:00:11,263 --> 01:00:13,565
- You know those tics and all that?
- Yeah, I...
1050
01:00:13,567 --> 01:00:15,466
- Those noises that I make?
- I'm perfectly aware of that.
1051
01:00:15,468 --> 01:00:18,569
But, David, let me give you
also positive critiques.
1052
01:00:18,571 --> 01:00:21,339
What I did really, really love...
your childhood memories.
1053
01:00:21,341 --> 01:00:24,275
- Your bar mitzvah and your graduation.
- I know.
1054
01:00:24,277 --> 01:00:27,178
They were so rewarding
and so special.
1055
01:00:27,180 --> 01:00:30,047
- You know my cousin, Matt Cone?
- Yeah.
1056
01:00:30,049 --> 01:00:33,150
You know how Sammy always says, "Oh,
Matt Cone this, Matt Cone that.
1057
01:00:33,152 --> 01:00:34,652
I want Matt Cone."
You know why?
1058
01:00:34,654 --> 01:00:36,788
He's a very, very
important person.
1059
01:00:36,790 --> 01:00:38,390
He's an actor
and all that.
1060
01:00:38,392 --> 01:00:40,658
- A real big-time celebrity.
- Mm-hmm.
1061
01:00:40,660 --> 01:00:44,194
- He's going to, like, put this in a film festival.
- Mm-hmm.
1062
01:00:44,196 --> 01:00:46,096
Palm Beach International
Film Festival.
1063
01:00:46,098 --> 01:00:47,598
He's gonna open
the door for me,
1064
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:51,636
and I'm gonna catch
my big break in Hollywood.
1065
01:00:51,638 --> 01:00:53,341
- You know?
- Cool.
1066
01:00:55,241 --> 01:00:57,042
Sarah,
can I ask you something?
1067
01:00:57,044 --> 01:00:58,442
Yes, David. Sure.
1068
01:00:58,444 --> 01:01:02,212
I mean, I know
that I seem like a big shot
1069
01:01:02,214 --> 01:01:05,583
driving around town
with my limo driver
1070
01:01:05,585 --> 01:01:09,286
and treating you to all
these nice fancy restaurants.
1071
01:01:09,288 --> 01:01:11,188
It never occurred to you,
1072
01:01:11,190 --> 01:01:16,161
"Oh, this kid's just
a total bum with no future.
1073
01:01:16,163 --> 01:01:17,694
He's just a complete bum."
1074
01:01:17,696 --> 01:01:19,464
You don't think
I'm a bum, do you?
1075
01:01:19,466 --> 01:01:22,167
Absolutely not, David.
1076
01:01:22,169 --> 01:01:26,337
I think you're really,
really bright,
1077
01:01:26,339 --> 01:01:28,138
very smart,
1078
01:01:28,140 --> 01:01:33,478
really, really a glorious,
hunky, sensational
1079
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:38,549
and just so sexy
and attractive-looking
1080
01:01:38,551 --> 01:01:42,420
to a point that it's
really getting me
1081
01:01:42,422 --> 01:01:48,192
in a very horny and
sexually-arousing mood right now.
1082
01:01:48,194 --> 01:01:50,497
Wow. Oh, my God.
You have your hand on my leg.
1083
01:02:24,730 --> 01:02:28,134
That feels
so sexually arousing.
1084
01:02:31,872 --> 01:02:33,339
Oh, God.
1085
01:03:20,187 --> 01:03:21,489
[woman] Hi!
1086
01:03:24,857 --> 01:03:25,924
Hi.
1087
01:03:25,926 --> 01:03:28,225
[chanting]
Go, Josh! Go, Josh!
1088
01:03:28,227 --> 01:03:30,795
Go, Josh! Go, Josh!
1089
01:03:30,797 --> 01:03:33,598
Go, Sarah!
Go, Sarah! Go, Sarah!
1090
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,900
Go, Henry! Go, Henry!
1091
01:03:35,902 --> 01:03:39,437
Go, Henry!
Go, Henry!
1092
01:03:39,439 --> 01:03:40,406
Go, Sammy!
1093
01:03:41,774 --> 01:03:43,507
Oh, yeah, baby!
1094
01:03:43,509 --> 01:03:45,810
It's so easy.
It's a piece of cake.
1095
01:03:45,812 --> 01:03:47,645
I'll teach you, David.
1096
01:03:47,647 --> 01:03:48,980
I don't like to dance.
1097
01:03:48,982 --> 01:03:52,353
But I'll teach you. It's a piece of cake.
Come to the dance floor.
1098
01:03:54,888 --> 01:03:56,524
I'll show you
how to dance.
1099
01:03:58,257 --> 01:04:01,161
What about your moves, David?
Show me your moves.
1100
01:04:05,564 --> 01:04:06,598
Yeah!
1101
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:08,569
Whoo!
1102
01:04:15,007 --> 01:04:16,676
Go, David!
1103
01:04:29,355 --> 01:04:31,325
[no audible dialogue]
1104
01:04:43,870 --> 01:04:47,575
[Sammy] I would like to make
a toast to Sarah and David.
1105
01:04:48,674 --> 01:04:52,609
As somebody
who has dated many men,
1106
01:04:52,611 --> 01:04:58,049
I never thought you would find
love like you did with David.
1107
01:04:58,051 --> 01:05:02,286
You two are really going
to make it as a couple!
1108
01:05:02,288 --> 01:05:03,687
I know it.
1109
01:05:03,689 --> 01:05:05,056
So here is to you.
1110
01:05:05,058 --> 01:05:07,025
To Sarah and David!
1111
01:05:07,027 --> 01:05:09,893
[all] To Sarah and David!
1112
01:05:09,895 --> 01:05:10,995
To Sarah and David.
1113
01:05:10,997 --> 01:05:14,299
[man] It's getting a little
sappy for my taste here.
1114
01:05:14,301 --> 01:05:17,835
When we say "I love you,"
1115
01:05:17,837 --> 01:05:21,772
we're really trying to say
to the other person,
1116
01:05:21,774 --> 01:05:23,574
"I like you enough
1117
01:05:23,576 --> 01:05:26,044
not to wanna rip
your face off
1118
01:05:26,046 --> 01:05:30,315
and feed it to a dog,
feed it to a mongrel."
1119
01:05:30,317 --> 01:05:32,382
That would be
a bummer.
1120
01:05:32,384 --> 01:05:34,384
[Sammy] I don't believe that
for a minute.
1121
01:05:34,386 --> 01:05:37,054
I think you two
will get married
1122
01:05:37,056 --> 01:05:38,790
and Matt and I
will get married,
1123
01:05:38,792 --> 01:05:41,859
and the four of us
are going to be family together
1124
01:05:41,861 --> 01:05:43,328
and friends together.
1125
01:05:43,330 --> 01:05:45,330
How can you have friends
1126
01:05:45,332 --> 01:05:49,567
if the person next to you is the
one who's gonna sell you out
1127
01:05:49,569 --> 01:05:52,103
to save his own ass,
you know.
1128
01:05:52,105 --> 01:05:53,437
It would be boring.
1129
01:05:53,439 --> 01:05:55,873
Imagine if you didn't have
someone to nuke.
1130
01:05:55,875 --> 01:05:57,607
Come on, man.
1131
01:05:57,609 --> 01:05:58,975
Do you watch
a lot of Fox News?
1132
01:05:58,977 --> 01:06:01,078
I'm a Fox News junkie.
1133
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:06,783
I like it the way Homer Simpson
likes Duff at Moe's Tavern.
1134
01:06:06,785 --> 01:06:09,087
Do you know what Homer Simpson
said to the drug dealer?
1135
01:06:09,089 --> 01:06:10,821
- No. What?
- What?
1136
01:06:10,823 --> 01:06:12,522
"D'ohpe!"
1137
01:06:12,524 --> 01:06:14,427
- [all laughing]
- Oh, my God.
1138
01:06:15,462 --> 01:06:17,428
- Oh, my God.
- D'ohpe!
1139
01:06:17,430 --> 01:06:20,098
You know,
I'm with Nancy Reagan there.
1140
01:06:20,100 --> 01:06:22,400
[all] Ooh!
1141
01:06:22,402 --> 01:06:24,571
[Sammy]
Can you pass the potato?
1142
01:06:25,504 --> 01:06:27,504
And the macaroni?
1143
01:06:27,506 --> 01:06:28,973
- Any more chicken cutlets?
- [woman] Here you go.
1144
01:06:28,975 --> 01:06:31,042
On your way, you're Russian.
1145
01:06:31,044 --> 01:06:32,976
When you get in, European.
1146
01:06:32,978 --> 01:06:34,112
When you come out,
1147
01:06:34,114 --> 01:06:35,882
- you're Finnish.
- [laughing]
1148
01:06:37,484 --> 01:06:39,984
What does a soda machine
have in common
1149
01:06:39,986 --> 01:06:41,587
with Monica Lewinsky?
1150
01:06:42,855 --> 01:06:44,725
Both say "insert bill here."
1151
01:06:51,131 --> 01:06:52,129
[woman] Oh, let Sarah.
1152
01:06:52,131 --> 01:06:53,864
- No.
- [man] Come on, Sarah.
1153
01:06:53,866 --> 01:06:57,504
- I don't know any jokes.
- [Sammy] The jokes are gluten-free.
1154
01:06:59,471 --> 01:07:02,739
- I don't know any jokes.
- Don't pressure her. Come on, come on, guys.
1155
01:07:02,741 --> 01:07:05,042
- I don't know any jokes.
- It's okay. It's okay.
1156
01:07:05,044 --> 01:07:06,777
[David]
I got one. I got one.
1157
01:07:06,779 --> 01:07:09,813
This one got me
into a bit of trouble.
1158
01:07:09,815 --> 01:07:13,750
Why did the Jewish guy divorce
his wife when she became a cop?
1159
01:07:13,752 --> 01:07:15,823
- [Sammy] Why?
- 'Cause Jews cannot eat pork.
1160
01:07:23,029 --> 01:07:27,598
[Dorsey] So we've got our showcase
Night to Shine coming up really soon.
1161
01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:31,469
And I also have registration
for the fall semester.
1162
01:07:31,471 --> 01:07:34,571
If anyone wants
to sign up for the fall,
1163
01:07:34,573 --> 01:07:36,574
be sure to register
and write your name down
1164
01:07:36,576 --> 01:07:38,909
because this registration
goes really quickly.
1165
01:07:38,911 --> 01:07:41,846
There's a clipboard going
around this side of the room,
1166
01:07:41,848 --> 01:07:43,980
but I'm gonna start
another one over here.
1167
01:07:43,982 --> 01:07:46,817
Just put your name down, and I
hope to see you in the fall
1168
01:07:46,819 --> 01:07:48,853
so we can have
more fun together.
1169
01:07:48,855 --> 01:07:51,788
[applause]
1170
01:07:51,790 --> 01:07:54,761
[all chattering]
1171
01:08:13,245 --> 01:08:15,645
I just don't understand
why you're leaving.
1172
01:08:15,647 --> 01:08:18,885
Why aren't you
coming back, David?
1173
01:08:22,956 --> 01:08:24,892
I don't know. I just can't.
1174
01:08:32,866 --> 01:08:34,568
Can I ask you
something, Sarah?
1175
01:08:35,702 --> 01:08:38,636
Do you wanna live
with your grandmother forever?
1176
01:08:38,638 --> 01:08:41,809
I mean, you do wanna grow, right?
You're a grown woman.
1177
01:08:42,876 --> 01:08:44,842
Yeah.
1178
01:08:44,844 --> 01:08:47,848
Don't you wanna have all the
things that normal people have?
1179
01:08:50,148 --> 01:08:51,949
I wanna marry you.
1180
01:08:51,951 --> 01:08:56,023
I don't see myself being
with anyone else but you, Sarah.
1181
01:08:57,590 --> 01:09:01,028
If I had to go to Florida,
would you come with me?
1182
01:09:06,899 --> 01:09:08,266
To Florida?
1183
01:09:08,268 --> 01:09:10,735
No, no, no, no.
She can't come to Florida.
1184
01:09:10,737 --> 01:09:15,172
I don't even know this girl, and you
want her to live with us for six months?
1185
01:09:15,174 --> 01:09:16,841
What if she just comes
for the ride
1186
01:09:16,843 --> 01:09:19,744
and she can stay at Aunt
Evelyn's and Uncle Harry's?
1187
01:09:19,746 --> 01:09:21,811
In Boca.
1188
01:09:21,813 --> 01:09:24,548
She's not some girl from
some crazy house though.
1189
01:09:24,550 --> 01:09:28,285
She really has it together
and she's beautiful,
1190
01:09:28,287 --> 01:09:29,920
and she's Jewish too, Mom.
1191
01:09:29,922 --> 01:09:34,862
You'd love her so much, you'd probably want
her to be your daughter-in-law one day.
1192
01:09:36,662 --> 01:09:40,231
Maybe...
Maybe someday we'll meet her,
1193
01:09:40,233 --> 01:09:43,334
but-but we don't
bring people to Florida,
1194
01:09:43,336 --> 01:09:45,602
especially people
that we don't know.
1195
01:09:45,604 --> 01:09:48,905
- Okay? That dad and I haven't met, so...
- [chopping]
1196
01:09:48,907 --> 01:09:53,643
Okay. Well, what if I told you she's
upstairs right now in my bedroom?
1197
01:09:53,645 --> 01:09:56,517
I invited her
for the weekend.
1198
01:10:09,795 --> 01:10:10,863
Hmm.
1199
01:10:13,632 --> 01:10:15,333
Look, this has
no gluten in it.
1200
01:10:15,335 --> 01:10:17,067
It's very good.
It's very healthy.
1201
01:10:17,069 --> 01:10:19,169
Wow. it looks really delicious
and yummy in the tummy.
1202
01:10:19,171 --> 01:10:20,804
Potatoes. Beets.
1203
01:10:20,806 --> 01:10:22,272
Here, try this. Try it.
1204
01:10:22,274 --> 01:10:24,642
- Tell me what you think of this.
- Mmm.
1205
01:10:24,644 --> 01:10:27,143
Oh, I love it.
It's absolutely delicious.
1206
01:10:27,145 --> 01:10:30,616
Groovalicious and really
yummy in the tummy.
1207
01:10:35,321 --> 01:10:38,688
So, Sarah,
how did you two meet?
1208
01:10:38,690 --> 01:10:42,258
Oh, well, Carrie,
that's a great question.
1209
01:10:42,260 --> 01:10:44,628
Um, David and I...
us two met
1210
01:10:44,630 --> 01:10:48,932
uh, a place called
the Jewish Community Center.
1211
01:10:48,934 --> 01:10:51,235
- And I found the perfect one, right here.
- Mm-hmm.
1212
01:10:51,237 --> 01:10:56,042
It was a dream come true. It
was very romantic and sexual.
1213
01:10:56,876 --> 01:10:57,941
It was what?
1214
01:10:57,943 --> 01:11:00,177
I mean, Mom, Dad, you see
how happy I am, you know?
1215
01:11:00,179 --> 01:11:02,646
Sarah is the most amazing thing
that ever happened to me.
1216
01:11:02,648 --> 01:11:04,850
She's the one for me.
1217
01:11:06,251 --> 01:11:10,087
How long did it take to realize
that this was the one?
1218
01:11:10,089 --> 01:11:12,856
We met over a month ago,
but officially,
1219
01:11:12,858 --> 01:11:16,060
- we've been going out for roughly two weeks.
- Mm-hmm.
1220
01:11:16,062 --> 01:11:17,727
We've been dating.
1221
01:11:17,729 --> 01:11:19,362
- Two weeks?
- Yes.
1222
01:11:19,364 --> 01:11:20,731
Mm-hmm.
1223
01:11:20,733 --> 01:11:22,799
- [David] Mm-hmm. That's 14 days.
- Yeah.
1224
01:11:22,801 --> 01:11:24,638
[David]
Half a month.
1225
01:11:32,979 --> 01:11:35,146
If you have any questions,
you know what to do, okay?
1226
01:11:35,148 --> 01:11:36,880
Don't worry about
trying to understand.
1227
01:11:36,882 --> 01:11:38,682
Just follow the leader.
1228
01:11:38,684 --> 01:11:40,418
That's right.
Follow the leader. Okay?
1229
01:11:40,420 --> 01:11:42,919
Just pretend you're interested
in what they have to say.
1230
01:11:42,921 --> 01:11:44,754
If they laugh, you laugh.
1231
01:11:44,756 --> 01:11:47,391
If they look serious,
you look serious. Okay?
1232
01:11:47,393 --> 01:11:50,761
In other words, I will try
my best to lighten my load,
1233
01:11:50,763 --> 01:11:52,797
take a chill pill
and have a wonderful time.
1234
01:11:52,799 --> 01:11:55,432
Yeah, we just need to
chill out tonight, okay?
1235
01:11:55,434 --> 01:11:57,834
In other words,
get the lay of the land,
1236
01:11:57,836 --> 01:12:00,271
cool ourselves off
and have a wonderful time.
1237
01:12:00,273 --> 01:12:03,307
You don't even have to say that. Just
say, "Yeah, okay, cool. That's great."
1238
01:12:03,309 --> 01:12:06,142
Okay, cool, take a chill pill,
lighten our loads, take it easy...
1239
01:12:06,144 --> 01:12:07,811
You know that saying,
"less is more"?
1240
01:12:07,813 --> 01:12:09,312
- I remember perfectly, David.
- Yes.
1241
01:12:09,314 --> 01:12:13,883
Uncle Jimmy. How are you?
This is my girlfriend, Sarah.
1242
01:12:13,885 --> 01:12:15,319
- Girlfriend?
- Yeah.
1243
01:12:15,321 --> 01:12:17,157
Holy moly.
Let me get a look.
1244
01:12:18,224 --> 01:12:20,391
- [shutter clicks]
- Perfect.
1245
01:12:20,393 --> 01:12:23,163
What did the duck
say to the bartender?
1246
01:12:24,263 --> 01:12:26,097
- Come on.
- Here we go again.
1247
01:12:26,099 --> 01:12:27,298
It's okay.
1248
01:12:27,300 --> 01:12:28,899
Um, what?
1249
01:12:28,901 --> 01:12:31,171
Put it on my bill. Ha!
1250
01:12:35,174 --> 01:12:36,943
Multiple meanings!
1251
01:12:38,478 --> 01:12:41,244
Hi. Oh, how lovely
to meet you.
1252
01:12:41,246 --> 01:12:44,181
I'm Sarah Silverstein,
David Cohen's girlfriend.
1253
01:12:44,183 --> 01:12:47,485
And I love being a performing artist,
singing, acting and working with...
1254
01:12:47,487 --> 01:12:50,788
Let me ask you this,
Aunt Jessica.
1255
01:12:50,790 --> 01:12:53,524
Or what about you?
Um, what's your name?
1256
01:12:53,526 --> 01:12:57,831
What are your passions and careers
that you guys like to do for fun?
1257
01:12:58,930 --> 01:13:01,766
Well, we, uh...
we love artwork.
1258
01:13:01,768 --> 01:13:03,834
We like to go
to art shows,
1259
01:13:03,836 --> 01:13:05,835
and we like to travel.
1260
01:13:05,837 --> 01:13:08,505
What kind of art shows
do you guys like?
1261
01:13:08,507 --> 01:13:10,473
We go to a lot
of craft shows.
1262
01:13:10,475 --> 01:13:11,978
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
1263
01:13:14,947 --> 01:13:18,115
It's a really
great pleasure to meet you.
1264
01:13:18,117 --> 01:13:19,383
What a blessing.
1265
01:13:19,385 --> 01:13:21,285
I really love
your outfit too.
1266
01:13:21,287 --> 01:13:23,521
I love the color pink.
It's my second favorite color.
1267
01:13:23,523 --> 01:13:26,323
Thank you.
You're very interesting.
1268
01:13:26,325 --> 01:13:30,096
Thank you. It was
a pleasure meeting you too.
1269
01:13:33,232 --> 01:13:36,100
- I mean, boy, you really love those garnishes.
- Yeah.
1270
01:13:36,102 --> 01:13:38,268
Down the hatch-a-roonie
it goes.
1271
01:13:38,270 --> 01:13:39,404
Yep.
1272
01:13:39,406 --> 01:13:43,140
[Sarah] Mmm. I tasted it.
It was so yummy in the tummy.
1273
01:13:43,142 --> 01:13:46,442
Didn't you have enough
to eat, sweetheart?
1274
01:13:46,444 --> 01:13:47,913
Um...
1275
01:13:49,514 --> 01:13:50,548
- Right?
- I'm fine.
1276
01:13:50,550 --> 01:13:51,882
Everybody's okay.
1277
01:13:51,884 --> 01:13:53,883
[Sarah]
I'm perfectly fine.
1278
01:13:53,885 --> 01:13:56,085
[all chatting, indistinct]
1279
01:13:56,087 --> 01:13:58,090
[woman]
We really had a great time.
1280
01:14:00,827 --> 01:14:02,426
Did he ever tell you
any of his jokes?
1281
01:14:02,428 --> 01:14:04,494
Oh, many, many times
in the past.
1282
01:14:04,496 --> 01:14:06,396
They're a bit
very confusing.
1283
01:14:06,398 --> 01:14:09,066
It took me a lot of time to
process and understand them.
1284
01:14:09,068 --> 01:14:11,201
- Two Jews walk into a bar.
- Right.
1285
01:14:11,203 --> 01:14:12,369
They buy it.
1286
01:14:12,371 --> 01:14:15,039
[laughing]
1287
01:14:15,041 --> 01:14:16,574
You know
why he cracks me up?
1288
01:14:16,576 --> 01:14:18,342
I don't know.
1289
01:14:18,344 --> 01:14:19,877
[no audible dialogue]
1290
01:14:19,879 --> 01:14:21,782
[chattering]
1291
01:14:23,114 --> 01:14:24,848
I love your song.
It was wonderful.
1292
01:14:24,850 --> 01:14:26,549
- What?
- I love your song.
1293
01:14:26,551 --> 01:14:29,285
- What's the name of that song? "The Sun..."
- ♪ The sun goes ♪
1294
01:14:29,287 --> 01:14:31,856
- Thank you.
- We have to clear out the boathouse for Matt.
1295
01:14:31,858 --> 01:14:32,923
- Oh.
- [David] Matt's here?
1296
01:14:32,925 --> 01:14:34,057
[Carrie]
In the boathouse.
1297
01:14:34,059 --> 01:14:36,062
My cousin Matt.
Remember Matt Cone?
1298
01:14:42,602 --> 01:14:44,602
- Ladies first.
- Thank you.
1299
01:14:44,604 --> 01:14:46,904
- Just walk on the pebbles.
- Okay.
1300
01:14:46,906 --> 01:14:49,075
On the pebbles.
On the pebbles.
1301
01:14:50,609 --> 01:14:52,344
No, on the pebbles.
1302
01:14:53,379 --> 01:14:55,245
Yeah. Step down.
1303
01:14:55,247 --> 01:14:57,149
It's okay. It's okay.
1304
01:14:58,317 --> 01:15:00,116
I got you. I got you.
1305
01:15:00,118 --> 01:15:02,619
Oh. Sand.
1306
01:15:02,621 --> 01:15:04,420
I'm on the sand.
You're on the rocks.
1307
01:15:04,422 --> 01:15:06,089
See?
1308
01:15:06,091 --> 01:15:08,228
We're on our way
to the party.
1309
01:15:09,895 --> 01:15:11,628
See? You're not
getting muddy at all.
1310
01:15:11,630 --> 01:15:12,996
- [coughs]
- Ooh.
1311
01:15:12,998 --> 01:15:15,231
You don't have to step
on that rock, but...
1312
01:15:15,233 --> 01:15:17,634
Yeah, here we are.
1313
01:15:17,636 --> 01:15:19,969
[man] We live our lives. We're busy.
And all this stuff going on...
1314
01:15:19,971 --> 01:15:21,472
[woman] Yeah,
but then that kind of implies
1315
01:15:21,474 --> 01:15:23,307
that you're not
present enough with each other
1316
01:15:23,309 --> 01:15:25,441
on a day-to-day basis
to know that...
1317
01:15:25,443 --> 01:15:28,078
Yo, Matt. What's up, Matt?
1318
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:30,914
Whoa. David. Holy... Dude, I
can't believe you're here.
1319
01:15:30,916 --> 01:15:32,016
What's going on?
1320
01:15:32,018 --> 01:15:35,652
Yo, it's my girlfriend,
Sarah.
1321
01:15:35,654 --> 01:15:37,154
- Your girlfriend?
- Yeah, my girlfriend.
1322
01:15:37,156 --> 01:15:39,522
Yeah?
Is he paying you?
1323
01:15:39,524 --> 01:15:40,990
- Shut up, Matt.
- Oh, I'm just kidding.
1324
01:15:40,992 --> 01:15:42,927
You're just pulling
my chain, Matt.
1325
01:15:42,929 --> 01:15:45,396
Yes, I am, Sarah. I'm sorry. I
have a messed-up sense of humor.
1326
01:15:45,398 --> 01:15:47,530
- It's cool, man. It's cool. Yo.
- Yeah, come on in.
1327
01:15:47,532 --> 01:15:50,200
- Celebrate with us. Let's make this a bigger holiday.
- [woman] Yeah.
1328
01:15:50,202 --> 01:15:53,469
- Yeah, so you remember Karen, of course.
- Hey, Karen. How are you?
1329
01:15:53,471 --> 01:15:55,271
- And Julia.
- [Julia] Hi.
1330
01:15:55,273 --> 01:15:56,406
Nice to meet you.
1331
01:15:56,408 --> 01:15:58,174
- [David] What's up, Luke?
- What's up, David?
1332
01:15:58,176 --> 01:16:00,209
- What's up, man?
- [Luke] Hey, good to see you, brother.
1333
01:16:00,211 --> 01:16:01,411
- [Matt] And this is...
- Sarah.
1334
01:16:01,413 --> 01:16:02,679
Hi, Sarah.
1335
01:16:02,681 --> 01:16:04,147
Sit down, you guys,
please.
1336
01:16:04,149 --> 01:16:05,982
[Karen] Thank you guys so much
for hosting us.
1337
01:16:05,984 --> 01:16:07,250
- [Matt] Thank you for having us.
- [Karen] Thank you.
1338
01:16:07,252 --> 01:16:10,087
So this is David's place
that we are crashing at.
1339
01:16:10,089 --> 01:16:11,422
[Luke] David, this is amazing.
Thanks for having us.
1340
01:16:11,424 --> 01:16:13,524
Thank you. It's an honor
having you guys here.
1341
01:16:13,526 --> 01:16:16,026
Yeah, it's an amazing honor for
us to be here with you too.
1342
01:16:16,028 --> 01:16:17,593
I mean, the star
of Malibu Mohawks.
1343
01:16:17,595 --> 01:16:19,562
- [laughter]
- A movie star.
1344
01:16:19,564 --> 01:16:22,066
- [Matt] No, no, no.
- [Karen] He loves it. He loves it.
1345
01:16:22,068 --> 01:16:24,034
[Matt] Mm, not talking
about that right now.
1346
01:16:24,036 --> 01:16:26,235
Why don't you
tell him our other news?
1347
01:16:26,237 --> 01:16:28,038
- Oh, my God.
- I popped the question.
1348
01:16:28,040 --> 01:16:29,707
- [Sarah] Wow.
- Wow. You're getting married?
1349
01:16:29,709 --> 01:16:31,275
You said yes?
1350
01:16:31,277 --> 01:16:33,177
Yeah, I said yes.
I'm wearing the ring.
1351
01:16:33,179 --> 01:16:34,177
[David]
Of course.
1352
01:16:34,179 --> 01:16:36,112
Congratulations.
Mazel tov.
1353
01:16:36,114 --> 01:16:38,548
- [Matt] Thank you.
- So are we!
1354
01:16:38,550 --> 01:16:41,285
- You guys too?
- We've been discussing it lately,
1355
01:16:41,287 --> 01:16:43,052
like in theory
and all that, you know?
1356
01:16:43,054 --> 01:16:45,722
You don't waste
any time, huh, man?
1357
01:16:45,724 --> 01:16:48,057
- [Karen] Are you nervous?
- It's been the best two weeks of my life.
1358
01:16:48,059 --> 01:16:50,393
Yeah, David was especially
really, really nervous.
1359
01:16:50,395 --> 01:16:51,628
No, I'm not.
1360
01:16:51,630 --> 01:16:55,332
About the... Yes. It's about the
penis going inside the vagina.
1361
01:16:55,334 --> 01:16:56,400
[Matt] Whoa.
1362
01:16:56,402 --> 01:16:57,435
- Oh.
- No, no, no, no.
1363
01:16:57,437 --> 01:17:00,570
But I did teach him
how to have sexual intercourse
1364
01:17:00,572 --> 01:17:04,674
in a very constructive way
for the very first time
1365
01:17:04,676 --> 01:17:08,344
- at my bedroom in my apartment.
- [Julia] Use a condom.
1366
01:17:08,346 --> 01:17:09,679
[Sarah] Oh!
1367
01:17:09,681 --> 01:17:11,214
[laughs]
1368
01:17:11,216 --> 01:17:14,219
I love condoms.
I live in a condom.
1369
01:17:16,688 --> 01:17:18,454
[David laughs]
She's just very sheltered.
1370
01:17:18,456 --> 01:17:20,524
She thought you're
talking about condos.
1371
01:17:20,526 --> 01:17:22,459
[Luke] What?
1372
01:17:22,461 --> 01:17:26,396
Not only am I very innocent
and really beautiful princess,
1373
01:17:26,398 --> 01:17:30,536
but I'm a lyric soprano singer
with perfect pitch.
1374
01:17:32,337 --> 01:17:39,075
♪ Let me call you
Sweetheart ♪
1375
01:17:39,077 --> 01:17:46,383
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
1376
01:17:46,385 --> 01:17:51,588
♪ Let me hear you whisper ♪
1377
01:17:51,590 --> 01:17:52,722
Okay.
1378
01:17:52,724 --> 01:17:54,357
♪ That you love me too ♪
1379
01:17:54,359 --> 01:17:56,392
That's wonderful, isn't it?
That's great, okay?
1380
01:17:56,394 --> 01:17:59,295
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
- She's got a nice voice.
1381
01:17:59,297 --> 01:18:01,565
Please stop.
Please stop. Please stop.
1382
01:18:01,567 --> 01:18:08,304
♪ Let me call you
Sweetheart ♪
1383
01:18:08,306 --> 01:18:14,578
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
1384
01:18:14,580 --> 01:18:17,080
- Please stop.
- ♪ I'm in love with you ♪
1385
01:18:17,082 --> 01:18:18,449
Stop it. Zip it.
1386
01:18:18,451 --> 01:18:21,451
Please, please.
I'm sorry. Just... Please.
1387
01:18:21,453 --> 01:18:25,155
I'm sorry. You're right in my ear
and-and piercing my ears, okay?
1388
01:18:25,157 --> 01:18:28,228
Okay, please? Please.
1389
01:18:29,627 --> 01:18:31,294
I mean, Matt was
applauding it.
1390
01:18:31,296 --> 01:18:32,795
I know. I know.
But you don't understand.
1391
01:18:32,797 --> 01:18:36,866
People are clapping because
they're trying to be polite.
1392
01:18:36,868 --> 01:18:38,869
- They don't like your music.
- I was just...
1393
01:18:38,871 --> 01:18:41,472
- You're embarrassing me.
- I was just...
1394
01:18:41,474 --> 01:18:43,507
In front of some
very important people.
1395
01:18:43,509 --> 01:18:45,843
You're even
embarrassing yourself.
1396
01:18:45,845 --> 01:18:48,515
Just trust me. Okay?
1397
01:18:49,482 --> 01:18:52,382
So, how about this?
1398
01:18:52,384 --> 01:18:55,418
A guy walks
into a sex shop, right?
1399
01:18:55,420 --> 01:18:59,323
[voice fading] And he says,
"I want a blow-up doll."
1400
01:18:59,325 --> 01:19:01,191
"A male doll
or female doll?"
1401
01:19:01,193 --> 01:19:04,464
"A male doll."
"A black doll or white doll?"
1402
01:19:31,623 --> 01:19:33,425
Oh.
1403
01:20:00,519 --> 01:20:02,522
[chattering]
1404
01:20:28,581 --> 01:20:29,745
What's wrong?
1405
01:20:29,747 --> 01:20:30,981
Where's Sarah?
1406
01:20:30,983 --> 01:20:32,816
Well, she begged me
to take her home.
1407
01:20:32,818 --> 01:20:34,521
Geraldo's driving her back.
1408
01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:37,489
What happened?
1409
01:20:39,992 --> 01:20:41,792
Nothing.
1410
01:20:41,794 --> 01:20:43,662
Okay.
1411
01:20:58,911 --> 01:21:01,547
[line ringing]
1412
01:21:10,322 --> 01:21:11,754
[automated female voice]
The mailbox is full
1413
01:21:11,756 --> 01:21:13,923
and cannot accept
any messages at this time.
1414
01:21:13,925 --> 01:21:15,327
Good-bye.
1415
01:21:28,607 --> 01:21:30,777
David, give me some
of the lox, please.
1416
01:21:33,612 --> 01:21:34,781
David.
1417
01:21:37,683 --> 01:21:38,618
David.
1418
01:21:40,419 --> 01:21:43,590
Will you pass Dad the lox?
We've asked you three times.
1419
01:21:45,623 --> 01:21:47,057
Thanks, honey.
1420
01:21:47,059 --> 01:21:48,361
You okay?
1421
01:21:50,362 --> 01:21:53,362
He's a little upset
about that girl.
1422
01:21:53,364 --> 01:21:55,632
[Matt] Oh, your bride.
1423
01:21:55,634 --> 01:21:57,034
Are you joking?
1424
01:21:57,036 --> 01:21:59,272
Never mind.
It's a private joke.
1425
01:22:01,607 --> 01:22:05,308
Oh, it would have been a lot,
sweetheart, with all you go through,
1426
01:22:05,310 --> 01:22:08,411
to take care of someone
with problems like that.
1427
01:22:08,413 --> 01:22:09,849
What was her issue anyway?
1428
01:22:10,782 --> 01:22:12,618
She had an LD.
1429
01:22:13,419 --> 01:22:15,084
An LD. What's that?
1430
01:22:15,086 --> 01:22:16,820
Learning disability.
1431
01:22:16,822 --> 01:22:19,325
Oh, I'd say more than that.
1432
01:22:20,459 --> 01:22:22,426
Was she brain damaged?
1433
01:22:22,428 --> 01:22:25,795
I mean, you'd ask her a simple
question and she'd talk your head off.
1434
01:22:25,797 --> 01:22:28,632
It was a non-verbal
learning disability.
1435
01:22:28,634 --> 01:22:32,668
She also ate a dozen radish
roses off my fish platter.
1436
01:22:32,670 --> 01:22:35,504
- [chuckles]
- A dozen radishes. I'm not kidding.
1437
01:22:35,506 --> 01:22:36,776
I thought she was sweet.
1438
01:22:38,410 --> 01:22:39,545
She was weird.
1439
01:22:40,979 --> 01:22:44,448
David, better you
should find someone
1440
01:22:44,450 --> 01:22:48,618
who maybe is more advanced
at things than you are.
1441
01:22:48,620 --> 01:22:52,388
Like Melinda,
that girl you used to date?
1442
01:22:52,390 --> 01:22:55,025
Angie.
Whatever happened to Angie?
1443
01:22:55,027 --> 01:22:56,863
The girls from the Internet.
1444
01:23:03,001 --> 01:23:06,570
Well, we go
to Florida next week.
1445
01:23:06,572 --> 01:23:08,875
Maybe that'll cheer him up.
1446
01:23:11,443 --> 01:23:14,580
I liked her
because she was weird, Mom.
1447
01:23:17,148 --> 01:23:19,451
I'm weird too.
1448
01:23:27,826 --> 01:23:30,927
What do you think about this
for Annie and this for Zach?
1449
01:23:30,929 --> 01:23:34,897
Sammy, is Sarah backstage? I
really need to speak to her, okay?
1450
01:23:34,899 --> 01:23:37,801
Backstage is for actors
who wanna be in my play,
1451
01:23:37,803 --> 01:23:41,137
not for actors who called it "a load
of bullshit," like you called it.
1452
01:23:41,139 --> 01:23:43,073
I wanna be an actor
in your play, okay?
1453
01:23:43,075 --> 01:23:46,008
I'll even go butt naked
if you want.
1454
01:23:46,010 --> 01:23:49,812
I'll even do a gay sex scene with you.
Just let me see Sarah.
1455
01:23:49,814 --> 01:23:54,918
After what you did to her, she decided
she wants nothing to do with you.
1456
01:23:54,920 --> 01:23:58,021
So please go away, you asshole.
1457
01:23:58,023 --> 01:24:00,960
[guitar intro]
1458
01:24:04,630 --> 01:24:07,463
♪ Who knows where we will ♪
1459
01:24:07,465 --> 01:24:11,034
♪ Or where we will be ♪
1460
01:24:11,036 --> 01:24:14,603
♪ Whether it be on a horse ♪
1461
01:24:14,605 --> 01:24:18,909
♪ Or in a history course ♪
1462
01:24:18,911 --> 01:24:22,945
The other day my dad said he wanted
some wine, so I gave him some.
1463
01:24:22,947 --> 01:24:25,582
[whiny]
"Dad, do I have to?"
1464
01:24:25,584 --> 01:24:28,485
I get very angry when innocent
people get hurt by bullies.
1465
01:24:28,487 --> 01:24:30,853
And it is my job
to protect them.
1466
01:24:30,855 --> 01:24:32,722
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-
whoo-whoo-whoo!
1467
01:24:32,724 --> 01:24:37,227
Try to find
what's going on in their mind
1468
01:24:37,229 --> 01:24:41,765
when you see somebody
who's in need.
1469
01:24:41,767 --> 01:24:43,933
For those of you
who don't know me,
1470
01:24:43,935 --> 01:24:48,538
my name is Jared Klimber, and I'm
from the South Shore of Long Island.
1471
01:24:48,540 --> 01:24:51,141
I would like to take a moment.
1472
01:24:51,143 --> 01:24:53,776
Just because I grew up
on an educated...
1473
01:24:53,778 --> 01:24:56,146
What do you do
with the mad that you feel
1474
01:24:56,148 --> 01:24:58,815
when you feel so mad
you could bite?
1475
01:24:58,817 --> 01:25:02,985
What do you say when you see a fawn?
"Oh, dear."
1476
01:25:02,987 --> 01:25:05,791
[singing continues]
1477
01:25:10,962 --> 01:25:13,800
[applause]
1478
01:25:18,504 --> 01:25:20,536
Hi. I'm Sarah.
1479
01:25:20,538 --> 01:25:22,838
Um, I really
wanna take this time
1480
01:25:22,840 --> 01:25:27,646
to show the entire world
my musical theater beauty glow.
1481
01:25:45,130 --> 01:25:48,667
[applause]
1482
01:26:12,291 --> 01:26:13,993
[horn honks]
1483
01:27:24,395 --> 01:27:28,067
[bus pulls up]
1484
01:27:41,345 --> 01:27:43,049
You getting on or not?
1485
01:27:45,716 --> 01:27:47,719
You getting on
or not, man?
1486
01:27:56,361 --> 01:27:58,027
Here, keep the change.
1487
01:27:58,029 --> 01:27:59,732
Exact change.
1488
01:28:04,301 --> 01:28:06,738
2.75.
1489
01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:12,944
One, two...
1490
01:28:16,915 --> 01:28:17,813
Aah!
1491
01:28:17,815 --> 01:28:21,886
Sorry. I-I-I've never been
on a bus before.
1492
01:28:26,090 --> 01:28:28,825
Do you have $2.75, sir?
1493
01:28:28,827 --> 01:28:29,762
Aah.
1494
01:28:31,095 --> 01:28:35,901
One, two, three, um...
1495
01:28:41,339 --> 01:28:43,175
Sarah?
1496
01:28:53,452 --> 01:28:55,221
I don't know how much.
1497
01:29:00,192 --> 01:29:01,725
That's it.
1498
01:29:01,727 --> 01:29:03,796
No. Just one more quarter.
1499
01:29:08,332 --> 01:29:12,000
[farebox whirring]
1500
01:29:12,002 --> 01:29:13,738
[coins clink]
1501
01:29:48,612 --> 01:29:53,612
Subtitles by explosiveskull
113287
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof