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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:01:17,321 --> 00:01:20,040 Give me my Romeo, and when he shall die, 3 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,998 take him and cut him out to little stars - 4 00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:25,785 and he'll make the face of heaven so fine. 5 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,900 And all the world will be in love with the night - 6 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,000 Mystical: Shake Ya Ass (Background Music) 7 00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:35,348 and... make the face of heaven so fine that all... 8 00:01:35,448 --> 00:01:37,670 the world will be in love.... 9 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:42,000 Mystical: Shake Ya Ass (Background Music) 10 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,194 ... all the world will be in love with the night... 11 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,919 Excuse me! Excuse me! 12 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,795 - Woody, will you turn that down? - Sorry, I can't hear you! 13 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,798 Turn the noise down! 14 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,759 Sorry, did you say something? 15 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,635 I'm trying to study but it's impossible with that racket going on! 16 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,378 - It's not racket, that's Mystical! 17 00:02:12,478 --> 00:02:14,515 Whatever it is, will you please switch it off? 18 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,837 - What's it worth? - The gratitude of a music lover? 19 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:22,198 Alright, I turn it off! 20 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,147 If you flash me! Show me what girls are all about! 21 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,155 You are a pig! 22 00:02:28,319 --> 00:02:30,992 - Anyway, I've seen them before! - What! You have not! 23 00:02:40,839 --> 00:02:41,794 Have now! 24 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:49,630 Good morning, Mr. Fluffy. 25 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:54,229 - Woody, are you up yet? - Oh, yeah! 26 00:03:02,159 --> 00:03:05,309 - Good morning, Daddy! - I have some mail for you, princess. 27 00:03:05,878 --> 00:03:07,550 It's from Yale! 28 00:03:12,678 --> 00:03:14,305 I have an interview next week! 29 00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:16,557 I applied for early action for you, honey! 30 00:03:16,758 --> 00:03:18,146 My precious little girl are going to Yale! 31 00:03:18,246 --> 00:03:19,830 I have to get through the interview first, mother! 32 00:03:20,038 --> 00:03:23,508 - You won't let us down, never have. - Never has. 33 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,474 - Isn't it exciting, Ted? - It's very excititing, Katherine. 34 00:03:26,678 --> 00:03:29,431 - Are you excited? - I am. 35 00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:34,236 I'm so excited I could yell it from the roof tops! 36 00:03:38,438 --> 00:03:40,068 Thank you, mother! 37 00:03:40,168 --> 00:03:42,788 Bachman Turner Overdrive: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet (Background Music) 38 00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,959 Bachman Turner Overdrive: You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet (Background Music) 39 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:45,800 Everything OK back there? 40 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:46,417 No problem, honey. 41 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:48,997 Just searing off a couple of finger prints. 42 00:03:49,097 --> 00:03:50,396 Carry on, my good woman. 43 00:03:53,957 --> 00:03:56,471 - Big game's coming up soon, son? - Yep! 44 00:03:57,517 --> 00:04:01,396 Coach says all the big college scouts gonna be at the game. 45 00:04:01,496 --> 00:04:02,297 Yeah, I know. 46 00:04:02,397 --> 00:04:06,834 Speciality of the House! I call it 'Eggs What the Heck' 47 00:04:07,797 --> 00:04:11,233 So much of fine cuisine is down to presentation, don't you think, son? 48 00:04:11,437 --> 00:04:13,189 Oh yeah, absolutely! 49 00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:17,988 You'll be the first member of my family to go to college. 50 00:04:18,197 --> 00:04:21,712 He'll be the first member of your family to go to freaking school! 51 00:04:22,117 --> 00:04:23,709 That's true. 52 00:04:24,237 --> 00:04:28,468 But son, if thing's don't work out, there'll always be a job for you - 53 00:04:28,676 --> 00:04:31,190 with Stan the Man at Spatula World. 54 00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:40,445 - To me, the greatest living American should... 55 00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:42,025 have individual accomplishments - 56 00:04:42,236 --> 00:04:46,195 but also have a lasting influcence on America and with the world. 57 00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:51,151 And that is why after careful consideration my candidate... 58 00:05:00,476 --> 00:05:02,512 - Yo, what's up boy? - Hi, Horse! 59 00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:07,791 - Nice grab, Horse! How's it hanging? - To the floor, my friend! 60 00:05:08,236 --> 00:05:10,510 What say we shift this baby into warp drive, huh? 61 00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:13,501 I want you to feel the wind blowing through... 62 00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:15,070 the hair of your fine muscular ass! 63 00:05:17,715 --> 00:05:19,433 Hit it please! 64 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Eminem: Without Me 65 00:05:46,835 --> 00:05:48,507 Well, looky here! 66 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,659 Is that not a pencil necked virigin girl I see before me? 67 00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:52,673 I do believe it is. 68 00:05:53,114 --> 00:05:57,124 She's standing dangerously close to a vast pool of water. 69 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,834 For a smart girl, that ain't so smart. 70 00:06:40,953 --> 00:06:42,227 Thank you! 71 00:06:46,553 --> 00:06:48,783 OK, just keep walking. 72 00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,985 No one will notice. 73 00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:54,863 Who wants cotton candy? 74 00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:02,152 Hey, Nell, I love what you've done with your hair! 75 00:07:02,353 --> 00:07:04,913 Thanks, Glixen. 76 00:07:15,793 --> 00:07:18,864 Three, two one... 77 00:07:19,632 --> 00:07:21,065 Hey, watch it! 78 00:07:24,192 --> 00:07:25,511 - Harry! - What's up baby! 79 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,350 Wow wow, people around! 80 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,749 Nice look! 81 00:07:36,992 --> 00:07:39,745 Special needs boy and his muse, the lovely Clamydia. 82 00:07:39,952 --> 00:07:41,624 My name's Breanna, you geek! 83 00:07:42,912 --> 00:07:44,804 By the way, sorry about this morning. 84 00:07:44,904 --> 00:07:46,507 That puddle just... showed up in front of us! 85 00:07:46,712 --> 00:07:49,943 Oh, that's OK, please don't apologize it, I understand. 86 00:07:51,192 --> 00:07:53,948 While archetypal outsiders such as myself... 87 00:07:54,048 --> 00:07:57,506 rarely fit comfortably into high school environements - 88 00:07:57,712 --> 00:08:00,908 this is as good as your life will get. 89 00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:03,938 The big football star and his vacuous cheerleader girlfriend... 90 00:08:04,038 --> 00:08:04,740 Head cheerleader. 91 00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:09,142 Because, let's face it. The old gray matter... 92 00:08:09,242 --> 00:08:11,426 ain't exactly top level, is it Woodster? 93 00:08:11,631 --> 00:08:15,067 So you end up with a job with your dad - 94 00:08:15,271 --> 00:08:17,626 and probably marry Breanna here. 95 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,710 But soon you start drinking to numb this aching feeling you have inside. 96 00:08:21,911 --> 00:08:24,103 Fast forward a few years and you're a drunk... 97 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,541 fat guy at a bar talking about the good old days. 98 00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:30,426 While your little wife whose looks have gone to the dodo - 99 00:08:30,631 --> 00:08:33,552 is prepping up her self esteem with squalid... 100 00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:37,025 sexual encounters with your friends behind your back. 101 00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:41,463 - What friends? - I'm guessing most of them. 102 00:08:42,950 --> 00:08:44,349 Have a good day. 103 00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:48,691 Class, please turn to page 488. Paragraph... 104 00:08:48,791 --> 00:08:50,544 demarked 'Early history' - 105 00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:54,220 which reads: 'Combined with the study of mankind - 106 00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:57,740 in all its aspects, especially human culture - 107 00:08:57,950 --> 00:09:01,765 we are therefore examining that society through... 108 00:09:01,865 --> 00:09:04,788 the exploration of classical structure.' 109 00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:10,339 Now, do not forget to make full use of your abstract database. 110 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,132 And class, please make sure the references of... 111 00:09:13,232 --> 00:09:15,340 the source material include the internet. 112 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,218 That's OK for now but - 113 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:27,342 you might want to omit that page from your reference list. 114 00:09:27,549 --> 00:09:31,019 Now, Mr. Zbornak will be taking your field trip this week. 115 00:09:33,029 --> 00:09:36,419 I tried on the most amazing dress for the dance. 116 00:09:36,629 --> 00:09:41,259 Think Beyonce's wow-factor meets Gwen Stefani's outfit of individuality - 117 00:09:41,469 --> 00:09:43,903 with just a sprinkling of designer slut Aguilera. 118 00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:46,296 The whole thing's very Madonna... 119 00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:47,465 before she got old naturally. 120 00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,227 Sounds hot! 121 00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:52,012 Now, I think Armani would be good for you. 122 00:09:52,112 --> 00:09:53,463 Stylish yet understated - 123 00:09:53,669 --> 00:09:56,388 so you look good but you don't distract attention from me. 124 00:09:58,789 --> 00:10:00,754 Mr Deanne! If it's not too much trouble? 125 00:10:00,854 --> 00:10:01,667 OK, just a minute! 126 00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,820 Take a look at this odd looking fella! 127 00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:14,062 Texcatlipoca - 128 00:10:14,268 --> 00:10:17,233 the ancient Aztek god of sorcery. Associated... 129 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:18,944 with the notion of destiny. 130 00:10:19,148 --> 00:10:21,582 Tex here has an interesting resume: 131 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,098 He was the god of night, lord of the smoking mirror. 132 00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:27,783 A shape shifter - 133 00:10:28,348 --> 00:10:30,578 a powerful SOB. 134 00:10:30,988 --> 00:10:34,867 Mr Deanne, do you think I might have your attention? 135 00:10:35,348 --> 00:10:38,897 Or does Mr. Horson have something particularly interesting to say? 136 00:10:39,188 --> 00:10:41,986 I'm betting on unlikely. 137 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,529 OK, time is short, people. I want you to... 138 00:10:45,629 --> 00:10:47,783 pair off and take in the rest yourselves. 139 00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:50,217 Remember: research, 140 00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:51,780 analyze and... 141 00:10:51,987 --> 00:10:53,056 ...describe! 142 00:10:53,267 --> 00:10:54,746 Very nice. 143 00:10:58,547 --> 00:11:03,143 Mr Horson, you go with Glixen. Mr Deanne, you go with Miss Bedworth. 144 00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:07,377 Let's get your learn on. 145 00:11:09,187 --> 00:11:11,576 So, checked out any porno sites lately? 146 00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:13,851 I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. Let's... 147 00:11:13,951 --> 00:11:15,746 hope I don't breathe in any retard germs. 148 00:11:15,947 --> 00:11:19,223 Let's hope I don't get any pencil neck virgin disease. 149 00:11:19,323 --> 00:11:19,986 Get stuffed. 150 00:11:20,507 --> 00:11:21,203 I hate you! 151 00:11:21,303 --> 00:11:24,182 It's because you secretly want to have sex with me! 152 00:11:25,107 --> 00:11:27,257 When I do decide to surrender the flower of my womanhood - 153 00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:29,662 I've always imagined it to be with someone of my own species! 154 00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:32,664 There's is nobody else in your species, except maybe Glixen. 155 00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,366 You're such a moron. You really think... 156 00:11:34,466 --> 00:11:36,039 the world evolves around rap music, football 157 00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:37,526 and hanging out with the right crowd? 158 00:11:37,626 --> 00:11:40,743 You know, you make me sick, you think you are so different to everyone else. 159 00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,504 Different from. 160 00:11:42,706 --> 00:11:45,823 You said 'Different to'. The correct phraseology is 'Different from'. 161 00:11:46,026 --> 00:11:48,255 Thanks for that information. You're no different... 162 00:11:48,355 --> 00:11:50,497 from any other geek with books instead of friends - 163 00:11:50,706 --> 00:11:52,936 and you don't have to open your big fat mouth to correct me. 164 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,023 - Neanderthal! - Spaz. 165 00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:58,101 I should pity you but I can't. I hate you too much. 166 00:11:58,306 --> 00:12:00,206 I rather cross my legs for the rest of the night... 167 00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:01,901 for everybody than to be anything like you! 168 00:12:03,346 --> 00:12:05,860 - Dito! - 'Dito'? 169 00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:07,941 Double dito! 170 00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:10,819 Double double dito times a thousand trillions! 171 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:39,300 '... and forever more shall find her destiny to live alone no more.' 172 00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:44,495 Good night, Mr. Fluffy. 173 00:13:27,544 --> 00:13:29,341 Oh God, my head... 174 00:13:30,344 --> 00:13:32,574 I must be dreaming. Time to wake up. 175 00:13:33,424 --> 00:13:34,743 What was that? 176 00:13:35,744 --> 00:13:37,017 Tits! 177 00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:40,181 I have tits. Two tits! 178 00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:44,662 This is the regular number of tits but for a guy? What's going on here? 179 00:13:46,063 --> 00:13:47,655 Oh my god, it's gone! 180 00:13:52,663 --> 00:13:54,540 This looks bad. If it's gone and I have tits - 181 00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:57,491 that means this must be a dream. 182 00:13:57,863 --> 00:14:00,980 A very very bad 'Now I have tits' dream. 183 00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:07,572 What is this? 184 00:14:09,903 --> 00:14:11,302 This isn't my room! 185 00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:20,661 We need to talk! 186 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,815 Talk? She want's to talk? 187 00:14:25,902 --> 00:14:27,870 Let's talk about why I'm going through a drawer... 188 00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:30,100 full of underwear with the days of the week on them. ! 189 00:14:31,182 --> 00:14:32,854 Oh God! 190 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:39,420 OK, now my pubes knows it Wednesday! 191 00:14:46,742 --> 00:14:49,051 It's tough enough getting these damn things off! 192 00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:54,173 How the hell does anyone get these things on? 193 00:14:58,142 --> 00:15:01,656 Ladies, looks like you and me is going au naturelle. 194 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,735 Go away! 195 00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:09,218 Alright, coast is clear. 196 00:15:15,741 --> 00:15:17,459 Get off. 197 00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:30,093 Good morning! 198 00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:34,251 - Nell, is everything OK? - I didn't see you there! 199 00:15:35,301 --> 00:15:37,974 - Your oatmeal is on the table. - I'm in a hurry, gotta go. 200 00:15:38,181 --> 00:15:42,299 Nonsense, now you sit down, it's the most important meal of the day. 201 00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:46,698 And oatmel is wonderful for promoting healthy and regular bowel movements. 202 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:49,653 That's cool if I want to take a dump the size of my head. 203 00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:50,935 Excuse me? 204 00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:54,132 Oatmeal's good, mummy. 205 00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:00,000 Deep Purple: Hush 206 00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:02,731 Is this meat? 207 00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:07,451 - You have oatmeal? - Are you shitting me? 208 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:12,658 - Porkmeat's good. - Eat up, son 209 00:16:25,779 --> 00:16:27,929 Jesus, I'm gonna puke. 210 00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:44,288 Golly, you must have been hungry. 211 00:16:44,499 --> 00:16:46,296 You need a second helping. You wait there, young lady! 212 00:16:56,139 --> 00:16:57,970 How's it going, pretty boy? 213 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,213 Let's go! 214 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:05,130 It will turn you into a big strong girl! 215 00:17:08,218 --> 00:17:10,015 Excuse me. 216 00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:13,257 See you later. 217 00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:16,814 Nell, aren't you forgetting something? 218 00:17:19,698 --> 00:17:23,088 Holy crap, look at the size of that thing! 219 00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,010 What thing? 220 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:27,448 Gotta go mom, see you later. 221 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:34,615 Hop in man, we got places to go, people to see, women to impregnate. 222 00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:49,653 You OK? 223 00:17:50,977 --> 00:17:52,171 Yeah, I'm fine! 224 00:17:53,257 --> 00:17:54,690 Really? 225 00:18:12,537 --> 00:18:15,097 The bitch stole my ride! 226 00:18:22,457 --> 00:18:25,688 - We're going a little fast? - You bet your sweet ass we are! 227 00:18:26,457 --> 00:18:28,334 I am going to die! 228 00:18:33,816 --> 00:18:35,980 Oh god, I'm getting on the bus. I haven't... 229 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,570 been on the bus since 8th grade! 230 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,048 Come on! 231 00:18:55,536 --> 00:18:57,686 Screw you assholes! 232 00:18:58,376 --> 00:19:00,890 That's no way for a young lady to talk! 233 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:04,850 Sorry, I'm a bitch when I'm on the rag, you know what I'm saying? 234 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,495 - Sorry! - Yeah, you too. 235 00:19:16,775 --> 00:19:21,769 And this dress is just amazing 236 00:19:23,735 --> 00:19:25,134 You! 237 00:19:25,495 --> 00:19:27,631 What the hell have you done to me, witch lady? 238 00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,249 Get your hands off me, you bully! 239 00:19:29,455 --> 00:19:31,084 God, you think I'm responsible for this? 240 00:19:31,184 --> 00:19:33,653 I certainly am not. And you're the one who knows everything. 241 00:19:33,895 --> 00:19:36,409 That does not include this! 242 00:19:36,615 --> 00:19:41,370 This is impossible. This can not happen! 243 00:19:44,215 --> 00:19:46,129 You better figure out how to get my damn body back. 244 00:19:46,229 --> 00:19:47,810 Trust me, there's nothing I would like more. 245 00:19:48,015 --> 00:19:50,768 You think I relish waking up another day with the Simpsons? 246 00:19:50,975 --> 00:19:52,329 Leave my parents out of this. 247 00:19:52,429 --> 00:19:55,412 And what is up with your mother? She never heard of volume control? 248 00:19:55,615 --> 00:19:58,686 Yak farmers in Tibet are praying for her to keep the volume down. 249 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:00,646 And her language, my goodness! 250 00:20:00,854 --> 00:20:03,971 My mother does not have a mole on her face the size of the White House. 251 00:20:04,174 --> 00:20:06,254 So she's got a problem with moles. Besides, 252 00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:08,008 it's not a mole, it's a beauty spot! 253 00:20:08,214 --> 00:20:11,729 I can spot that beauty from Wisconsin! 254 00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:14,490 Insensitive pig! 255 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,927 I don't want to be a boy, OK? Especially I don't want to be you! 256 00:20:20,374 --> 00:20:23,730 No, no, no, don't cry, not here. 257 00:20:24,254 --> 00:20:29,009 Maybe it's just one of those 24 hour things. Like a head cold. 258 00:20:29,734 --> 00:20:33,568 Tomorrow we could be back to normal. 259 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:36,686 Just try not to attract any unnecessary attention. 260 00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:56,733 Gross, I have to touch it? Ewww! 261 00:20:59,853 --> 00:21:03,812 I will never eat finger food from a buffet again for as long as I live. 262 00:21:10,373 --> 00:21:14,651 Your homework was to prepare a speech on the greatest living American. 263 00:21:16,933 --> 00:21:19,087 I'm sorry I missed it but I was excused... 264 00:21:19,187 --> 00:21:21,290 from homework due to cheerleading practice. 265 00:21:21,652 --> 00:21:22,880 I see. And Nell? 266 00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:28,367 What? 267 00:21:28,572 --> 00:21:31,848 Your speech please. On the greatest living American? 268 00:21:40,772 --> 00:21:45,129 I think the greatest living American is... 269 00:21:48,572 --> 00:21:49,891 ...J-Lo. 270 00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,604 - J-Lo? - You know, Jennifer Lopez? 271 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:59,648 Singer, movie star. She had a thing with that dude from 'Pearl Harbor'. 272 00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:02,127 I know who J-Lo is now. 273 00:22:02,332 --> 00:22:05,310 I am just very interested to hear what you... 274 00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:08,725 perceive qualifies her for such a unique accolade. 275 00:22:10,251 --> 00:22:13,129 The thing about J-Lo is that... 276 00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:15,128 ...she's from the streets.. 277 00:22:16,011 --> 00:22:20,607 And now she's like this big movie star and... she's still really cool. 278 00:22:21,571 --> 00:22:24,483 She used to have a little, now she's got a lot. 279 00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:28,923 But she's still J-Lo from the block. And I think that's pretty damn great. 280 00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:35,006 And she's American. And she's a wife. 281 00:22:36,571 --> 00:22:37,890 I see. 282 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,363 J-Lo? 283 00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:49,485 Pretty good, huh? It just flew right into my head. 284 00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:51,920 At least there's plenty of space for it to land. 285 00:22:52,130 --> 00:22:55,805 What is your problem? I happen to like J-Lo! She's a hot booty! 286 00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,156 You do not bestow an honor such as 'Greatest 287 00:22:58,256 --> 00:23:00,640 Living American' solely on the fact of a hot booty! 288 00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:04,923 I didn't! She also happen to have a terrific set of funbags! 289 00:23:05,930 --> 00:23:08,524 Woody Deanne, you're an idiot and a Philistine. 290 00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:12,279 Know what, I don't appreciate you calling me an idiot. 291 00:23:12,490 --> 00:23:14,139 And I don't know what that other thing is... 292 00:23:14,239 --> 00:23:15,926 but as sure as hell ain't one of them either. 293 00:23:26,410 --> 00:23:28,798 Hey Woody! 294 00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:34,045 What a lovely sight. Swill time at Getty Central. 295 00:23:36,569 --> 00:23:39,959 Dear God, now I have to eat with these creatures? 296 00:23:43,649 --> 00:23:45,680 My parents are going out tonight, maybe you... 297 00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,725 wanna come over to discuss what you wanna wear 298 00:23:47,825 --> 00:23:48,909 for the homecoming dance? 299 00:23:49,009 --> 00:23:51,204 I have things to do. 300 00:23:51,409 --> 00:23:55,448 What I meant was: we'd be alone. 301 00:23:56,169 --> 00:23:58,603 So maybe I might do that thing when I... 302 00:24:04,489 --> 00:24:08,243 - You filthy little slut! - You do that? 303 00:24:11,888 --> 00:24:13,560 Last week he begged me to do that! 304 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:19,361 - So what is it, what do you do? - Get lost, you little spastic. 305 00:24:22,168 --> 00:24:25,843 I can not believe Woody turned down the chance to have sex with me tonight! 306 00:24:26,088 --> 00:24:28,443 Am I in like bizarro world? 307 00:24:28,688 --> 00:24:31,325 If I had Richard Wainwright sniffing around me, 308 00:24:31,425 --> 00:24:33,318 I wouldn't waste my time on Woody. 309 00:24:33,608 --> 00:24:34,802 It's not that simple Tiffany. 310 00:24:35,008 --> 00:24:38,444 Today football captain, tomorrow GQ Man of the Year. 311 00:24:38,688 --> 00:24:41,725 You need to plan these things! 312 00:24:41,928 --> 00:24:43,606 Personally I'd be relived if Horse and 313 00:24:43,706 --> 00:24:45,427 I didn't have sex. Sometimes I think it's 314 00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:46,748 the only reason he's with me. 315 00:24:46,848 --> 00:24:50,808 That is so not true Chanel. You have many fine qualities. 316 00:24:50,908 --> 00:24:52,081 Really? Like what? 317 00:24:53,847 --> 00:24:55,917 You have excellent taste in earrings. 318 00:24:56,847 --> 00:24:59,520 And your hair looks really good. 319 00:25:02,287 --> 00:25:04,801 And you're friends with me. Case closed. 320 00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:16,641 - Woodster! Come on in, my man. - How are you? 321 00:25:16,847 --> 00:25:19,361 Cool as frozen shit, homie. 322 00:25:19,967 --> 00:25:22,435 Yo, we have extra practice tonight, alright, don't forget! 323 00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:26,802 I'm in the mood to kick some serious ass! 324 00:25:27,007 --> 00:25:28,406 Oh yeah, me too! 325 00:25:28,607 --> 00:25:31,406 ...only I have a prior engagement that... 326 00:25:31,506 --> 00:25:34,443 conflicts with the whole ass kicking thing. 327 00:25:34,847 --> 00:25:36,916 Wait, we're a week away from the game against Lamont. 328 00:25:37,126 --> 00:25:40,562 Do you know what the coach will do to your nuts if you don't show up tonight? 329 00:25:40,766 --> 00:25:44,600 No, I'll tell you. He will grind them into dust. 330 00:25:45,486 --> 00:25:46,635 Nut dust. 331 00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:50,839 And the only kids you'd be able to have is the itsy-bitsy patter ones. 332 00:26:27,165 --> 00:26:28,644 Alright, here we go! 333 00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:31,080 Wood? 334 00:26:32,045 --> 00:26:33,637 Cut the ball, man! 335 00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:42,559 - Woody? - Sorry, coach. 336 00:26:46,245 --> 00:26:48,076 Alright, let's get this. 337 00:26:50,925 --> 00:26:51,960 Go! 338 00:26:56,045 --> 00:26:58,320 - Wood man, come on! - Wake up, boy! 339 00:26:59,365 --> 00:27:00,353 Sorry, coach. 340 00:27:05,444 --> 00:27:06,843 I got it! 341 00:27:14,244 --> 00:27:17,520 What the hell were you doing out there? You play like a damn woman! 342 00:27:17,724 --> 00:27:19,203 I'm a little pique. 343 00:27:20,044 --> 00:27:23,275 - It means off colour. - I know what 'picque' means! 344 00:27:23,484 --> 00:27:25,600 You listen to me, and you listen good! 345 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,922 This homecoming game is gonna be the biggest game in those boys' lives. 346 00:27:29,124 --> 00:27:31,720 You may have a god given talent but I... 347 00:27:31,820 --> 00:27:34,482 will not let you risk it. Do you hear me? 348 00:27:35,524 --> 00:27:36,673 Yes, coach! 349 00:27:38,124 --> 00:27:40,088 You get your shit together or you'll be... 350 00:27:40,188 --> 00:27:41,877 watching the game from the side lines! 351 00:27:46,003 --> 00:27:48,801 Don't let it bug you buddy, just hang in there! 352 00:27:49,483 --> 00:27:52,634 Look, you just hit a slump, just like a golfer. 353 00:27:52,843 --> 00:27:56,472 It doesn't matter how big you are, every now and again you lose a swing. 354 00:27:56,683 --> 00:28:00,915 So you keep working on your strokes and banging those balls. 355 00:28:02,643 --> 00:28:04,474 Do you wanna touch my helmet? 356 00:28:06,043 --> 00:28:08,662 My lucky helmet. It works for me, maybe it'll... 357 00:28:08,762 --> 00:28:10,992 do you the same. Go ahead, give it a rub! 358 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,500 Elton John: Candle in the Wind 359 00:28:31,882 --> 00:28:34,316 Oh man, this is crappy music! 360 00:28:45,562 --> 00:28:46,517 Loser! 361 00:28:46,722 --> 00:28:48,952 Yeah, you too and your mama! 362 00:28:54,522 --> 00:28:56,114 I heard about football practice. 363 00:28:56,322 --> 00:28:58,790 - Those boys are really rough. - I'm covered in bruises. 364 00:28:59,002 --> 00:29:02,551 I don't care about your bruises. If coach drops you my life is over. 365 00:29:02,762 --> 00:29:06,310 Why are you so worked up? It's only a game! 366 00:29:06,641 --> 00:29:09,319 No, it's not only a game. It's football! 367 00:29:09,419 --> 00:29:11,317 Jesus, don't you get anything? 368 00:29:11,521 --> 00:29:14,014 I get that clearly this is not a head cold 369 00:29:14,114 --> 00:29:16,549 Do you have any better theories, smart ass? 370 00:29:19,321 --> 00:29:21,437 Look at you. What am I wearing? 371 00:29:21,681 --> 00:29:24,195 Chinos and a Oxford cotton button-down I found in the back of your closet. 372 00:29:24,401 --> 00:29:28,280 Which is exactly where it is meant to stay! 373 00:29:29,201 --> 00:29:30,680 Nonsense, you can't beat the classic look! 374 00:29:30,881 --> 00:29:32,579 My hair, you've made it all dorky! 375 00:29:32,679 --> 00:29:34,669 A center parting is very European looking. 376 00:29:34,881 --> 00:29:36,328 No, it is very dorky looking! 377 00:29:36,428 --> 00:29:39,033 Excuse me for taking a little pride in your appearance! 378 00:29:39,241 --> 00:29:42,995 You could have ruined my life, I look like a male version of you! 379 00:29:43,441 --> 00:29:46,060 As long as I'm stuck inside this disgusting... 380 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,390 body, you'll just have to put up with it! 381 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,351 Alright, if that's how you want it, sweet cheeks. 382 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,000 Scissor Sisters: Filthy / Gorgeous 383 00:30:39,639 --> 00:30:41,277 Nice ass! 384 00:30:42,239 --> 00:30:44,992 You're looking fine, sugar! 385 00:30:45,359 --> 00:30:47,595 - What are you doing? - Protecting your modesty. 386 00:30:47,695 --> 00:30:49,299 You look like a common prostitute! 387 00:30:49,399 --> 00:30:50,978 Damn, I was going for a high class hooker! 388 00:30:51,078 --> 00:30:52,471 You can not walk into school like this! 389 00:30:52,679 --> 00:30:56,513 I can do whatever I want. Now get your hands off me or I'll scream. 390 00:31:22,998 --> 00:31:26,513 What are you doing? You're supposed to be Shakespeare. 391 00:31:34,078 --> 00:31:35,909 OK, here goes. 392 00:31:37,038 --> 00:31:38,915 Nice penis. 393 00:31:58,677 --> 00:32:01,555 Nothing like a bit of personal hygien. 394 00:32:11,517 --> 00:32:13,712 Well, it has to be done. 395 00:32:19,797 --> 00:32:21,628 Come on, think about it. 396 00:32:21,837 --> 00:32:24,351 And she's totally pretending to be pretty. 397 00:32:26,757 --> 00:32:28,748 - Hello, Woody. - Hello, Breanna. 398 00:32:28,957 --> 00:32:30,812 I have something I want to say to you. 399 00:32:30,912 --> 00:32:33,269 Let me guess: you're sorry about blowing me off. 400 00:32:33,597 --> 00:32:36,555 No. I'm afraid we can't see each other any more. 401 00:32:38,396 --> 00:32:40,068 Very funny, Woody. 402 00:32:40,276 --> 00:32:43,234 Well, I don't find you that attractive any more. 403 00:32:43,716 --> 00:32:46,594 You just look kind of plain. 404 00:32:48,156 --> 00:32:50,989 And don't worry about your moustache. Some guys are really into that shit. 405 00:32:53,076 --> 00:32:55,112 Suck on this, Woody Dean. 406 00:32:55,316 --> 00:32:56,954 I can't believe he said that to her! 407 00:32:57,156 --> 00:33:00,307 You can't really see the hairs anyway. 408 00:33:01,196 --> 00:33:02,311 What just happened? 409 00:33:02,516 --> 00:33:04,877 Seems you and your girlfriend just broke up. 410 00:33:04,977 --> 00:33:05,713 Commiserations. 411 00:33:06,356 --> 00:33:07,514 No! Me and Breanna? 412 00:33:07,614 --> 00:33:10,269 Breanna and I, but let's not quip over details. 413 00:33:11,836 --> 00:33:14,669 - Broke up with my girlfriend? - You'll get over it. 414 00:33:16,156 --> 00:33:18,226 Wanna go for a ride? 415 00:33:18,636 --> 00:33:20,751 I have to go, tonight's a big night for me. 416 00:33:22,075 --> 00:33:23,667 You too. 417 00:33:25,355 --> 00:33:29,314 Congratulations. Tonight's the night you finally get to lose it. 418 00:33:33,275 --> 00:33:34,628 Nicky! 419 00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:51,989 There you go, babe. 420 00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:54,707 Thanks. 421 00:33:55,915 --> 00:33:57,633 Nice... 422 00:33:58,515 --> 00:34:00,870 - ... trailer. - It's a dump. 423 00:34:01,075 --> 00:34:03,907 But... my folks are away... 424 00:34:04,634 --> 00:34:07,865 ...and we won't be disturbed. 425 00:34:14,474 --> 00:34:16,704 Never seen a chick drink like that before. 426 00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:20,671 My throat's a little dry. 427 00:34:23,194 --> 00:34:26,982 Maybe I could moisten it up a little. 428 00:34:29,994 --> 00:34:32,383 I can't. I need another beer. 429 00:34:34,154 --> 00:34:35,951 Sure. 430 00:34:44,873 --> 00:34:47,307 - You OK? - I'm fine thank you. 431 00:34:47,513 --> 00:34:50,119 You've been acting kind of weird lately. 432 00:34:50,219 --> 00:34:52,382 I think I know what's on your mind. 433 00:34:53,633 --> 00:34:56,227 - I don't think you do. - Let me guess. 434 00:34:56,873 --> 00:35:00,017 You think if you don't impress those scouts, 435 00:35:00,117 --> 00:35:02,913 you're gonna end up working with your dad 436 00:35:03,013 --> 00:35:04,153 in spatula world. 437 00:35:04,633 --> 00:35:05,668 What? 438 00:35:06,233 --> 00:35:11,023 I ain't stupid, Woody. Just let things fall into place. 439 00:35:11,793 --> 00:35:14,023 Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you. 440 00:35:17,873 --> 00:35:22,071 So you don't want to work with spatulas, what the heck? 441 00:35:29,872 --> 00:35:31,271 Not here. 442 00:35:32,192 --> 00:35:34,262 OK, let's go to the master bedroom. 443 00:35:37,832 --> 00:35:41,541 Let's get cracking baby, cause daddy's packing! 444 00:35:44,432 --> 00:35:47,469 Oh god, what was I thinking? This is so gay! 445 00:35:49,632 --> 00:35:51,065 What are you waiting for, baby? 446 00:35:51,592 --> 00:35:54,026 Daddy wants to see some flesh. 447 00:35:54,272 --> 00:35:57,787 He's gonna make me his bitch! Woody the bitch boy! 448 00:35:58,112 --> 00:36:00,865 Maybe you need a little help? 449 00:36:02,912 --> 00:36:04,391 I have to pee. 450 00:36:04,592 --> 00:36:05,263 Now? 451 00:36:05,472 --> 00:36:08,494 Yeah, I can feel I have to fricking go. So, you... 452 00:36:08,594 --> 00:36:09,430 get undressed - 453 00:36:09,631 --> 00:36:11,861 and don't start without me. 454 00:36:19,231 --> 00:36:20,505 Hey, come back! 455 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:27,166 Elton John: Candle in the Wind 456 00:36:27,266 --> 00:36:29,381 Not this shit again, man! 457 00:36:30,471 --> 00:36:34,522 It's very melodic. If you give it a chance you might learn to enjoy it. 458 00:36:34,622 --> 00:36:38,000 Elton John: Candle in the Wind 459 00:36:38,111 --> 00:36:39,988 No. Still shit. 460 00:36:40,471 --> 00:36:42,382 Have you heard about that grease ball Nicky? 461 00:36:43,631 --> 00:36:47,260 She got it on last night. 462 00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:53,462 Did you guys hear? 463 00:36:54,030 --> 00:36:56,828 She did it in the trailer park. 464 00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:02,501 She probably didn't even know it was a trailer park. 465 00:37:11,310 --> 00:37:13,141 Woody, are you crying? 466 00:37:15,550 --> 00:37:17,222 What's wrong? 467 00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:20,467 I'm sorry. 468 00:37:20,870 --> 00:37:24,306 I just found out I lost my virginity in a trailer park. 469 00:37:33,549 --> 00:37:37,462 I gotta go. I got a class. 470 00:38:04,669 --> 00:38:06,978 Hey, do you think she might do it with me? 471 00:38:07,549 --> 00:38:09,938 No! Get lost. 472 00:38:18,708 --> 00:38:19,697 What? 473 00:38:22,348 --> 00:38:26,387 Don't worry. You had a great time. 474 00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,657 Trust me, you'll never forget it. 475 00:38:29,948 --> 00:38:31,620 How could you do this to me? 476 00:38:33,348 --> 00:38:37,136 I know you're not the best looking guy in the world but it's only sex. 477 00:38:37,868 --> 00:38:40,223 I wanted it to be special. 478 00:38:40,548 --> 00:38:44,939 Well, you started it.'A central parting is very european looking'. 479 00:38:45,148 --> 00:38:46,342 You lost me my girlfriend. 480 00:38:46,548 --> 00:38:49,506 I was saving it for the boy I fell in love with. 481 00:38:57,588 --> 00:38:59,862 Look, nothing happened, OK? 482 00:39:01,787 --> 00:39:03,778 - Really? - Really. 483 00:39:05,987 --> 00:39:07,962 That's not what Nicky is telling everyone. 484 00:39:08,062 --> 00:39:09,024 Well, Nicky is a liar. 485 00:39:10,147 --> 00:39:12,536 Try telling that to the entire world. 486 00:39:13,827 --> 00:39:16,660 How's it feel to be a cheap little slut? 487 00:39:20,747 --> 00:39:24,074 Looks like I have to have a talk with that son of a bitch, cause no one... 488 00:39:24,174 --> 00:39:24,945 calls us the sort. 489 00:39:39,027 --> 00:39:40,379 Pass the ball! 490 00:39:42,306 --> 00:39:44,695 Nicky, here's your ho! 491 00:39:47,106 --> 00:39:49,779 - Hey, I'm looking for you! - You found me, baby. 492 00:39:50,266 --> 00:39:52,257 What the hell did you say? 493 00:39:54,146 --> 00:39:55,181 Nothing. 494 00:39:55,826 --> 00:39:57,305 Oh really? 495 00:39:58,106 --> 00:40:00,574 But I wasn't 100 percent true. 496 00:40:01,826 --> 00:40:04,021 You greasy scumbag liar. 497 00:40:04,426 --> 00:40:07,259 And you've got a very dirty little mouth. 498 00:40:08,426 --> 00:40:09,905 Then again... 499 00:40:10,866 --> 00:40:12,504 ...I already knew that. 500 00:40:14,106 --> 00:40:16,461 - A little hellcat, ain't you? - Asshole! 501 00:40:19,786 --> 00:40:21,777 That's no way to treat a lady, mister! 502 00:40:21,986 --> 00:40:24,897 And what kind of word is 'ain't you'. It's wrong on so many levels. 503 00:40:25,185 --> 00:40:27,824 Why don't you tell everyone what really happened? 504 00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:30,095 - Tell them! - Nothing! Nothing happened! 505 00:40:30,305 --> 00:40:32,544 I think you owe this sweet, innocent, 506 00:40:32,644 --> 00:40:35,060 yet very attractive young lady an apology. 507 00:40:37,025 --> 00:40:38,504 Sorry. 508 00:40:39,585 --> 00:40:41,177 I'm sorry! 509 00:40:42,385 --> 00:40:43,454 Thanks. 510 00:40:49,585 --> 00:40:52,895 It's so much fun to hit someone. I'd like to punch him again. 511 00:40:56,105 --> 00:40:59,177 Easy champ. Doesn't mean I forgive you about screwing up about Breanna and I. 512 00:40:59,785 --> 00:41:01,264 Breanna and me. 513 00:41:03,705 --> 00:41:04,932 I'll try to fix things. 514 00:41:05,144 --> 00:41:07,863 What's the point? I'm a girl, remember? 515 00:41:09,224 --> 00:41:13,103 Jesus, what am I gonna do? Homecoming's next Friday. 516 00:41:13,624 --> 00:41:15,376 My life is a complete disaster. 517 00:41:15,584 --> 00:41:17,646 What were we doing before this happened? 518 00:41:17,746 --> 00:41:18,098 Arguing? 519 00:41:18,304 --> 00:41:20,579 - You always argue. - Not always. 520 00:41:21,824 --> 00:41:23,815 We were at the museum. 521 00:41:24,304 --> 00:41:29,219 - In front of that ugly Mexican dude. - Aztek. Texcatlipoca. 522 00:41:29,424 --> 00:41:33,133 - That's the guy. - He's the ancient god of sorcery. 523 00:41:44,184 --> 00:41:45,856 We close in 5 minutes, folks. 524 00:41:55,103 --> 00:41:55,918 OK, you go first. 525 00:41:56,018 --> 00:41:58,015 No, you go first, you have the biggest mouth. 526 00:41:59,463 --> 00:42:02,353 - Hi, how are you? - Is that the best you can do? 527 00:42:02,453 --> 00:42:04,363 He's a god, not your aunt Betsy. 528 00:42:04,463 --> 00:42:07,283 You may have got the impression that this... 529 00:42:07,383 --> 00:42:10,140 young fellow and I didn't like it each other. 530 00:42:11,703 --> 00:42:14,536 But let me tell you, that could not be any farther from the truth. 531 00:42:14,743 --> 00:42:19,100 That's right. Sure we were fighting but all friends fight, right? 532 00:42:19,303 --> 00:42:25,378 How could you not like Nell? She is really tidy and smart, way smart! 533 00:42:27,463 --> 00:42:30,579 Kinda cute, especially when she does that thing with her nose. 534 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,656 We get along really well. 535 00:42:33,662 --> 00:42:36,779 - Yeah, we're actually very close. - Closest. 536 00:42:36,982 --> 00:42:38,210 Real homies. 537 00:42:38,422 --> 00:42:40,492 - To the end, bro. - Don't overdo it. 538 00:42:43,542 --> 00:42:47,171 Now that we've got that cleared up, here's what we're gonna do. 539 00:42:47,422 --> 00:42:49,378 We close our eyes, count to three - 540 00:42:49,582 --> 00:42:52,892 and when we open them up, we'll be back in our right bodies. 541 00:42:53,382 --> 00:42:54,781 If that's OK with you - 542 00:42:54,982 --> 00:42:59,902 which I'm sure it is, since this is just a big misunderstanding we can 543 00:43:00,002 --> 00:43:01,982 laugh about in years to come. 544 00:43:02,342 --> 00:43:03,570 Let's do it. 545 00:43:11,222 --> 00:43:12,290 One... 546 00:43:13,381 --> 00:43:14,894 ...two... 547 00:43:15,421 --> 00:43:16,740 ...three. 548 00:43:25,101 --> 00:43:27,092 Maybe he only speaks Mexican? 549 00:43:27,301 --> 00:43:29,974 So what are we gonna do next, buy him an enchilada? 550 00:43:31,501 --> 00:43:33,696 I had my heart set on Yale. 551 00:43:34,381 --> 00:43:36,611 No, please, not the tears, please? 552 00:43:38,661 --> 00:43:41,129 You think I wanna end up in my dad's spatula store? 553 00:43:41,341 --> 00:43:43,093 You don't know. 554 00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:47,735 Wait, wait! 555 00:43:49,181 --> 00:43:51,058 You beat up Nicky. 556 00:43:55,860 --> 00:43:58,932 You have my body, my strength. 557 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:01,893 All I need to do is show you how to use it. 558 00:44:05,420 --> 00:44:09,430 And we could study so you could get through my interview. 559 00:44:09,530 --> 00:44:09,760 Huh? 560 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:15,000 Orson: Tryin' to Help 561 00:44:52,179 --> 00:44:53,294 Ready? 562 00:44:53,779 --> 00:44:55,929 As hard as you like. 563 00:45:00,019 --> 00:45:01,372 Come on. 564 00:45:17,739 --> 00:45:19,615 Once the sign is given - 565 00:45:19,818 --> 00:45:21,938 the center snaps the ball to the quarterback... 566 00:45:22,038 --> 00:45:23,936 and the game begins. Are you with me so far? 567 00:45:25,338 --> 00:45:26,851 The offence has a limited amount of time... 568 00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:29,447 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 569 00:45:29,658 --> 00:45:32,616 Thou art more lovely and more temperate. 570 00:45:32,818 --> 00:45:36,015 Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May. 571 00:45:36,218 --> 00:45:39,130 And summer's lease hath all too short a date. 572 00:45:39,698 --> 00:45:42,735 So, he's not actually saying that she's like a... 573 00:45:42,835 --> 00:45:45,933 summer's day? He say she is hot like a summer's day? 574 00:45:46,138 --> 00:45:47,969 Yeah, that's it exactly! 575 00:45:50,738 --> 00:45:52,688 Right, you know, I still can't imagine ever... 576 00:45:52,788 --> 00:45:54,697 actually saying something like that to someone. 577 00:45:55,498 --> 00:45:57,056 Feel like so uncool. 578 00:45:57,258 --> 00:45:58,922 Maybe you'd just have to meet the right... 579 00:45:59,022 --> 00:46:00,374 person to say that kind of stuff to. 580 00:46:00,577 --> 00:46:03,489 Or maybe I just don't wanna look like a doofus. 581 00:46:03,697 --> 00:46:07,372 Well, Shaky must really have liked that one. She must have been some babe. 582 00:46:07,577 --> 00:46:09,886 Actually, Shakespeare wrote this to a young man. 583 00:46:10,457 --> 00:46:13,449 - Shakespeare was a homo? - We don't know that exactly. 584 00:46:13,697 --> 00:46:15,426 You write a poem to a guy telling him... 585 00:46:15,526 --> 00:46:17,212 how hot he is and you don't know exactly? 586 00:46:17,417 --> 00:46:20,056 Gees, what do you have to do before you know exactly? 587 00:46:20,257 --> 00:46:22,817 Write an ode to a schlong? 588 00:46:23,217 --> 00:46:24,809 I think that's enough for today. 589 00:46:25,017 --> 00:46:27,929 The bard was a bender. Who would've though? 590 00:46:28,417 --> 00:46:29,930 See you tomorrow. 591 00:46:30,337 --> 00:46:31,656 Good night. 592 00:46:38,497 --> 00:46:40,175 Listen, I was wrong about your parents. They're... 593 00:46:40,275 --> 00:46:41,853 alright once you get used to your mom's language. 594 00:46:42,057 --> 00:46:43,887 Mom's pretty cool. 595 00:46:46,656 --> 00:46:48,533 Woody, can I ask you a question? 596 00:46:50,216 --> 00:46:51,410 Sure. 597 00:46:53,496 --> 00:46:55,293 In the morning... 598 00:46:56,856 --> 00:46:58,448 - Never mind. - What? 599 00:46:58,656 --> 00:47:00,487 - No, it's nothing really. - Go on. 600 00:47:00,696 --> 00:47:02,607 It's a little embarrasing but... 601 00:47:02,816 --> 00:47:05,376 ...every morning you... 602 00:47:07,096 --> 00:47:10,247 ...have this thing.... 603 00:47:12,296 --> 00:47:14,048 - The thing that you... - What? 604 00:47:14,896 --> 00:47:17,410 You know, every morning? 605 00:47:20,416 --> 00:47:23,726 - You mean the old boner. - That's not the word I would have used. 606 00:47:23,936 --> 00:47:25,388 Boy, do I miss that guy. 607 00:47:25,488 --> 00:47:29,134 I'm sure you do. What I'd like to know: how can I get rid of it? 608 00:47:30,495 --> 00:47:31,974 Only one way I know of. 609 00:47:33,055 --> 00:47:35,250 That's disgusting... 610 00:47:35,655 --> 00:47:37,054 ...and there's got to be another way, right? 611 00:47:39,455 --> 00:47:42,891 Well, there is one thing that I do in case of emergencies.... 612 00:47:43,135 --> 00:47:46,093 ...sort of lets the air out of the old tire, if you know what I'm saying. 613 00:47:46,855 --> 00:47:51,406 First I close my eyes, and I think of you. 614 00:47:54,135 --> 00:47:56,729 - Works every the time. - Good night. 615 00:47:56,935 --> 00:47:58,209 See ya! 616 00:48:13,254 --> 00:48:17,247 - Hey, you want one? - No, thanks. 617 00:48:19,174 --> 00:48:23,087 You've had it quiet up there tonight. Are you OK? 618 00:48:24,254 --> 00:48:25,901 Yeah, I was just studying with Nell. 619 00:48:26,001 --> 00:48:28,452 Is that what you young people are calling it these days? 620 00:48:28,854 --> 00:48:32,005 - Nell's not that kind of girl. - I know. 621 00:48:32,494 --> 00:48:33,813 She's a good kid. 622 00:48:34,774 --> 00:48:37,950 You know, way back, her dad Ted and I used... 623 00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:41,088 to hang out together. He was a good guy, Ted. 624 00:48:41,774 --> 00:48:43,093 He still is. 625 00:48:44,894 --> 00:48:46,612 I mean, as far as I know. 626 00:48:47,494 --> 00:48:49,007 What ever happened between you two? 627 00:48:49,214 --> 00:48:54,287 Nell's mom, Katherine, I guess. She didn't really approve. 628 00:48:55,693 --> 00:48:58,969 We weren't her kind of people. 629 00:49:00,813 --> 00:49:02,132 Good night, son. 630 00:49:03,133 --> 00:49:05,601 Good night, dad. 631 00:49:14,573 --> 00:49:16,484 Oh god, she's crying. 632 00:49:20,173 --> 00:49:21,572 Chanel? 633 00:49:22,933 --> 00:49:24,525 Are you OK? 634 00:49:26,413 --> 00:49:28,051 Oh crap... 635 00:49:31,572 --> 00:49:33,051 What's wrong? 636 00:49:33,412 --> 00:49:37,291 It's about Harry. He's seeing some other girl. 637 00:49:38,132 --> 00:49:40,123 No, he wouldn't do that. 638 00:49:40,812 --> 00:49:44,566 Well, how come I saw him with his tongue stuck down her throat. 639 00:49:45,972 --> 00:49:47,769 Did you see who it was? 640 00:49:48,092 --> 00:49:52,802 No, they were in his car. But I saw what they were doing clear enough. 641 00:49:54,412 --> 00:49:57,404 Why are guys such jerks? 642 00:50:00,452 --> 00:50:04,968 Why am I asking you, you know less about guys than anybody on the planet. 643 00:50:07,492 --> 00:50:08,641 I'm sorry. 644 00:50:08,852 --> 00:50:11,491 - I didn't mean that. - You're right. 645 00:50:11,692 --> 00:50:13,807 What do I know about guys? 646 00:50:16,131 --> 00:50:20,010 I was so stupid. I know how Horse is. 647 00:50:21,571 --> 00:50:24,005 Why do you go out with them? 648 00:50:25,451 --> 00:50:29,967 Cause when I started at Westdale I felt invisible. 649 00:50:30,171 --> 00:50:34,528 And then I started going out with Horse and I became friends - 650 00:50:34,731 --> 00:50:37,105 with Breanna and Tiffany and Woody and... 651 00:50:37,205 --> 00:50:39,805 everyone. And then people started to notice me. 652 00:50:41,211 --> 00:50:43,281 And I liked that. 653 00:50:45,091 --> 00:50:49,004 So, I guess I'm just afraid of feeling invisible again. 654 00:50:51,051 --> 00:50:55,044 You know I think that a lot more people feel that way than you realize. 655 00:50:55,731 --> 00:50:57,402 You do. 656 00:50:58,090 --> 00:51:01,526 You go your own way no matter what anyone thinks. 657 00:51:03,530 --> 00:51:05,646 I admire you, Nell. 658 00:51:12,770 --> 00:51:15,214 And this is Mr. Stinky, you have to say hello. 659 00:51:15,314 --> 00:51:18,083 Why did you bring that pencil neck to our sleepover? 660 00:51:20,170 --> 00:51:21,364 Nell's OK. 661 00:51:21,570 --> 00:51:24,164 She just wants to hang, right? 662 00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:28,009 Carey told me we're all going in our jammies. 663 00:51:32,530 --> 00:51:35,090 I see you finally seen the errors of your geekish ways? 664 00:51:35,370 --> 00:51:37,679 I have. This girl just wants to have fun. 665 00:51:41,209 --> 00:51:43,325 OK. OK! Let's get to our PJ's! 666 00:51:47,929 --> 00:51:49,157 Oh man! 667 00:51:49,809 --> 00:51:52,403 Life is such a bitch. 668 00:51:55,969 --> 00:52:00,121 Lock target in 5 and will you check out that ass! 669 00:52:00,769 --> 00:52:01,758 What about Chanel? 670 00:52:04,449 --> 00:52:05,404 No, don't see her. 671 00:52:05,609 --> 00:52:07,201 Think about it Harry - 672 00:52:07,409 --> 00:52:10,043 are you willing to betray the love of a good... 673 00:52:10,143 --> 00:52:12,722 woman for the cheap thrill of a one night stand? 674 00:52:17,489 --> 00:52:21,003 You crack me up, you know that boy. 675 00:52:21,208 --> 00:52:23,881 You were always into the 'faithful' but I'm the Horse - 676 00:52:24,088 --> 00:52:26,443 and Horse people knows of no such boundaries. And plus - 677 00:52:26,648 --> 00:52:30,766 at night I'm a locked target 678 00:52:32,288 --> 00:52:36,076 You know what happens. A few drinks, quality control goes out the window - 679 00:52:36,288 --> 00:52:38,053 and before you know it, you're sucking... 680 00:52:38,153 --> 00:52:39,917 face with some swill muncher from downtown. 681 00:52:40,128 --> 00:52:43,279 Or worse still. I end up here with you - 682 00:52:43,488 --> 00:52:46,082 drunk on some dark street telling you I love you. 683 00:52:46,968 --> 00:52:49,641 And you know me doesn't want that to happen, homie. 684 00:52:49,968 --> 00:52:51,879 Let's go to a party. 685 00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,734 Sugababes: Red Dress (Background Music) 686 00:52:54,834 --> 00:52:55,811 Sugababes: Red Dress (Background Music) 687 00:52:55,911 --> 00:52:57,151 So Breanna, you're not seeing Woody anymore? 688 00:52:57,251 --> 00:52:57,668 That is so over. 689 00:52:57,768 --> 00:53:00,328 Such a shame. I mean, you guys were the perfect couple. 690 00:53:01,088 --> 00:53:03,237 Duh. I was only seeing him because he's the football captain. 691 00:53:04,087 --> 00:53:06,840 Without me, he's just another dumb jock with his brains in his shorts. 692 00:53:07,047 --> 00:53:10,596 Which is convenient because not much else is going on down there. 693 00:53:21,767 --> 00:53:24,235 Loser! Drink up, man! 694 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:30,414 Sugababes: Push the Button (Background Music) 695 00:53:30,514 --> 00:53:31,536 Sugababes: Push the Button (Background Music) 696 00:53:31,636 --> 00:53:32,840 Manicure, pedicure, face masks. Are we done yet? 697 00:53:34,167 --> 00:53:38,126 Nell, I couldn't help noticing that you're a little on the hairy side. 698 00:53:41,727 --> 00:53:42,682 Down below. 699 00:53:44,007 --> 00:53:48,363 You've got sort of a rainforest thing going on. 700 00:53:48,566 --> 00:53:51,558 You're not supposed to be bushy? 701 00:53:52,806 --> 00:53:55,639 �- We've all gone totally latino. - Totally. 702 00:53:56,246 --> 00:53:57,201 Really? 703 00:53:57,406 --> 00:53:59,203 You should too. 704 00:53:59,846 --> 00:54:01,757 You know, we could do it for you right now. 705 00:54:03,046 --> 00:54:04,684 Latino. 706 00:54:05,686 --> 00:54:07,517 What the hell, let's do it! 707 00:54:08,726 --> 00:54:10,921 OK girls, we've got a green light on the Brazilian wax. 708 00:54:11,126 --> 00:54:13,560 Tiffany, bring me scissors and depilatory strips. 709 00:54:13,766 --> 00:54:16,838 Chanel, I'm gonna need towels and hot water. 710 00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:21,324 Nell, sit back, relax and do exactly... 711 00:54:30,405 --> 00:54:31,838 One more, give me one more! 712 00:54:37,725 --> 00:54:39,204 Bite down on this. 713 00:54:40,045 --> 00:54:41,637 On three. One... 714 00:54:41,925 --> 00:54:43,597 Maybe this is a bad idea. 715 00:54:46,525 --> 00:54:48,720 Did I say you I love you, man? 716 00:54:49,845 --> 00:54:51,801 I really do love you, man. 717 00:54:52,365 --> 00:54:56,074 You're like... my... twin brother. 718 00:54:57,485 --> 00:55:01,114 You're white but you're my twin brother. 719 00:55:05,725 --> 00:55:08,239 Man, this is some kind of brazilian. 720 00:55:11,124 --> 00:55:12,796 How are you feeling? 721 00:55:14,244 --> 00:55:15,916 A little better. 722 00:55:17,644 --> 00:55:20,556 - How much did you drink last night? - I don't know. 723 00:55:20,804 --> 00:55:25,195 I just remember feeling unusually happy and having a really good time - 724 00:55:25,404 --> 00:55:28,919 and then like somebody picked up the room and started spinning it. 725 00:55:29,644 --> 00:55:31,043 I don't know, I'm an idiot. 726 00:55:31,244 --> 00:55:35,522 Think of it as a rite of passage. Go easy next time. 727 00:55:37,924 --> 00:55:39,357 Thanks for taking care of me. 728 00:55:44,404 --> 00:55:46,719 See you after lunch. We have stuff to do today. 729 00:55:46,819 --> 00:55:47,396 Yeah, I know. 730 00:55:50,844 --> 00:55:54,597 Drop back, pump it and then throw the ball. 731 00:55:56,443 --> 00:55:57,956 Alright, I can do that. 732 00:56:01,723 --> 00:56:03,156 No, you're telegraphing, you're way telegraphing. 733 00:56:03,363 --> 00:56:05,399 Watch me behind me how I do. 734 00:56:08,843 --> 00:56:10,799 - What is it? - What's what? 735 00:56:11,203 --> 00:56:13,592 That's sticking me in my ass. 736 00:56:15,003 --> 00:56:16,595 We're meant to be playing football. 737 00:56:16,803 --> 00:56:20,318 It's not my fault. I'm sorry. It's your thing, not mine. 738 00:56:20,523 --> 00:56:21,691 Yeah, but you're behind the wheel. 739 00:56:21,791 --> 00:56:23,162 I guess that means you find me attractive. 740 00:56:23,363 --> 00:56:26,400 No actually, that means you find me attractive. 741 00:56:26,603 --> 00:56:29,037 Let's not read too much into it, OK. This thing finds anything attractive. 742 00:56:29,243 --> 00:56:31,000 That is such a guy thing to say. 743 00:56:31,100 --> 00:56:33,282 Can we just keep playing football, please? 744 00:56:33,963 --> 00:56:36,522 Sure, as long as you keep my dick out of your butt. 745 00:57:10,642 --> 00:57:13,361 Ah, came through the windows! 746 00:57:13,642 --> 00:57:16,439 One of the many skills I've acquired lately. 747 00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:19,004 Keep our voices down. If my mom knows 748 00:57:19,104 --> 00:57:21,791 I have a boy in my room she'd spontaneously combust. 749 00:57:22,001 --> 00:57:24,276 I'm trying to settle what to wear for your interview. 750 00:57:24,481 --> 00:57:26,790 Navy suit, white blouse and sensible shoes. 751 00:57:27,001 --> 00:57:28,992 You don't think something a little hotter? 752 00:57:29,641 --> 00:57:31,597 It's an interview... 753 00:57:34,241 --> 00:57:38,200 �- You're joking. - At least something I can control. 754 00:57:39,481 --> 00:57:43,076 I've been thinking. While we're like this - 755 00:57:43,281 --> 00:57:44,879 I wonder if it would make sense if... 756 00:57:44,979 --> 00:57:46,830 we could go to the Homecoming dance together. 757 00:57:47,041 --> 00:57:50,917 Not only because, well, who else would we go with? I don't wanna get 758 00:57:51,017 --> 00:57:52,901 stuck with pencil neck all night. 759 00:57:53,001 --> 00:57:55,469 It wouldn't be a date. 760 00:57:58,361 --> 00:58:01,750 - I'd like that. - Great. It's a date. 761 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:04,436 A non-date date. 762 00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,234 Nell, wash hands! Dinner! 763 00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,351 My cue to go. 764 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,678 Not a real date. 765 00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,037 It's alright! I'm OK! 766 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,518 I will be kinda late tomorrow. 767 00:58:26,560 --> 00:58:28,790 Kind of. 768 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:32,991 Kind of late tomorrow. 769 00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,389 What is with you at the moment? Ted? 770 00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,714 Sometimes I feel as though I don't know who you are anymore. 771 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,354 She's growing up, Katherine. 772 00:58:46,159 --> 00:58:50,755 So, are you going to tell me what you're doing or is it a secret? 773 00:58:51,799 --> 00:58:54,233 It's no secret, I'm studying with Woody. 774 00:58:54,599 --> 00:58:55,554 Again? 775 00:58:55,879 --> 00:58:57,392 Yeah, you've got a problem with that? 776 00:59:04,159 --> 00:59:06,912 If you want to waste your valuable time it's your affair. 777 00:59:07,119 --> 00:59:08,632 Who says I'm wasting my time? 778 00:59:09,959 --> 00:59:11,472 Oh Nell, you only have to look at the boy. 779 00:59:12,039 --> 00:59:13,188 What's wrong with him? 780 00:59:13,399 --> 00:59:15,833 He's stupid, he's trouble and he's a loser. 781 00:59:16,399 --> 00:59:17,673 You told me so yourself. 782 00:59:20,759 --> 00:59:24,194 There's nothing you can do to change that. Look at his family. 783 00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:26,628 That's basic genetics. 784 00:59:48,878 --> 00:59:51,438 Hi, Mr Bedworth. 785 00:59:52,798 --> 00:59:54,550 Is Nell around? 786 00:59:55,318 --> 00:59:58,284 She's gone back to school, son, she said... 787 00:59:58,384 --> 01:00:01,148 she had to do some extra studying. She has 788 01:00:01,248 --> 01:00:03,508 her interview with Yale tomorrow. 789 01:00:03,798 --> 01:00:05,117 Thanks. 790 01:00:07,917 --> 01:00:11,592 - So, how have you been, Mr. Bedworth? - I'm fine, Woody, just fine. 791 01:00:14,557 --> 01:00:18,345 - Well, give my best to your wife. - I will do. 792 01:00:32,997 --> 01:00:34,669 What are you trying to do? 793 01:00:40,917 --> 01:00:43,636 - Stop, you're gonna hurt yourself! - Back off! 794 01:00:45,997 --> 01:00:47,907 Why are you doing this? 795 01:00:50,356 --> 01:00:52,790 Because this is who I am. 796 01:00:55,076 --> 01:00:57,590 This is all I've ever been. 797 01:00:59,836 --> 01:01:01,986 And now not even that. 798 01:01:06,316 --> 01:01:09,114 Football's not who you are. 799 01:01:10,516 --> 01:01:12,552 You don't get it, do you? 800 01:01:12,796 --> 01:01:15,390 - People like you never do. - People like me? 801 01:01:15,596 --> 01:01:18,108 What exactly is it people like me don't get? 802 01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:19,032 People like me! 803 01:01:20,676 --> 01:01:22,951 Then educate me, please! 804 01:01:28,356 --> 01:01:30,471 We like to play ball. 805 01:01:31,515 --> 01:01:33,506 Maybe we're even pretty good at it. 806 01:01:33,715 --> 01:01:37,708 Maybe we get accepted to some second rate shit kicker college - 807 01:01:37,915 --> 01:01:43,035 or maybe we go work with our dad at the spatula store. Who knows? 808 01:01:43,715 --> 01:01:48,266 But what we don't get is a great job, a big apartment in the city - 809 01:01:48,475 --> 01:01:50,085 and a Yale education. 810 01:01:50,185 --> 01:01:53,310 So that's what this is about. The interview? 811 01:01:59,315 --> 01:02:01,192 I don't know! 812 01:02:01,795 --> 01:02:06,152 - It's OK to be nervous. - Nothing is OK. Nothing! 813 01:02:07,915 --> 01:02:11,510 Tomorrow I'm supposed to be playing the most important game of my life. 814 01:02:11,715 --> 01:02:15,024 This is my destiny. Mine! 815 01:02:16,234 --> 01:02:19,431 I'm not supposed to be attending some college interwiew. 816 01:02:19,634 --> 01:02:24,628 So we got the wrong lives. Sometimes you just gotta get on with life. 817 01:02:25,394 --> 01:02:27,430 Let things fall into place. 818 01:02:30,434 --> 01:02:31,867 Do me a favour. 819 01:02:32,314 --> 01:02:36,910 Save your inspirational speeches for someone who gives a damn. 820 01:02:37,114 --> 01:02:38,706 I know who I am. 821 01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:43,866 I'm a loser, I'm trouble and I'm stupid. Basic genetics. 822 01:02:44,394 --> 01:02:45,873 Can't help it. 823 01:02:48,794 --> 01:02:52,867 Funny. I never took you for a quitter. 824 01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:00,000 Fefe Dobson: Be Strong 825 01:03:57,672 --> 01:03:59,310 You can go in. 826 01:04:05,832 --> 01:04:07,151 Miss Bedworth? 827 01:04:09,712 --> 01:04:11,384 Please take a seat. 828 01:04:14,712 --> 01:04:18,989 One of the qualities we hope for in any of our students is their passion. 829 01:04:20,191 --> 01:04:23,706 Your turn papers and test results are exemplary. 830 01:04:23,911 --> 01:04:27,352 But your love and knowledge of literature... 831 01:04:27,452 --> 01:04:30,100 is rare in a person of your years. 832 01:04:32,871 --> 01:04:35,465 Thank you, but it's an important part of my life. 833 01:04:37,231 --> 01:04:39,142 Go on. 834 01:04:41,271 --> 01:04:44,502 Poetry, for instance - 835 01:04:45,591 --> 01:04:49,061 I like the way that it can articulate and express feelings - 836 01:04:49,271 --> 01:04:53,059 complicated and difficult feelings that you can't express literally. 837 01:05:01,030 --> 01:05:03,146 What about modern literature? 838 01:05:03,550 --> 01:05:08,419 Are there any contemporary writers and poets you particularly admire? 839 01:05:11,230 --> 01:05:13,664 No. Not really. 840 01:05:16,030 --> 01:05:17,827 Oh. Why is that? 841 01:05:19,230 --> 01:05:21,061 Because they suck? 842 01:05:23,830 --> 01:05:27,709 Welcome everybody to Homecoming, the biggest game of the year. 843 01:05:28,190 --> 01:05:30,784 Surely if poetry is no longer relevant - 844 01:05:30,990 --> 01:05:35,063 poets and their art form are doomed to extincition. 845 01:05:42,470 --> 01:05:45,541 I think that will be all. 846 01:06:00,789 --> 01:06:04,577 Actually, I do like some modern poets. 847 01:06:05,029 --> 01:06:07,179 In fact I love them. 848 01:06:08,549 --> 01:06:11,427 50 Cent, Pete Pablo, Marshal Mathers. 849 01:06:11,629 --> 01:06:13,643 I don't think I'm familiar with their works. 850 01:06:13,743 --> 01:06:14,860 Well, they're rap artists. 851 01:06:15,069 --> 01:06:16,980 And you consider that to be poetry? 852 01:06:17,189 --> 01:06:19,657 Absolutely. It's urban poetry, sir. 853 01:06:19,869 --> 01:06:24,260 They talk about their lives and experiences. They can be very brutal - 854 01:06:24,469 --> 01:06:29,667 but often under a coat of humour. Dark humour. Here, check it out. 855 01:06:31,188 --> 01:06:34,863 Applauds for the home theme. The Westdale Bay Beavers! 856 01:06:36,668 --> 01:06:38,863 That's my boy! 857 01:06:39,348 --> 01:06:40,781 Applauds for the quarterback, Woody Deanne! 858 01:06:40,881 --> 01:06:41,259 Woody Deanne! 859 01:06:41,468 --> 01:06:43,902 That's my boy! 860 01:06:47,228 --> 01:06:48,627 Wait! 861 01:07:04,708 --> 01:07:06,460 Here we go! 862 01:07:12,427 --> 01:07:16,386 Number 83, Johnny Chancer. 863 01:07:32,827 --> 01:07:36,103 Hey you, leave him alone or I'll sock you around! 864 01:07:50,826 --> 01:07:54,023 Touchdown for The Razorbacks, folks! 865 01:08:15,586 --> 01:08:18,498 Touchdown for The Razorbacks. 866 01:08:18,706 --> 01:08:22,255 As they take the lead, 14-0, early in the fourth quarter. 867 01:08:22,466 --> 01:08:26,903 There's still time folks, as Woody Deanne takes the play. 868 01:08:45,545 --> 01:08:49,333 12th yard loss. This is really unusual, folks. 869 01:08:51,225 --> 01:08:53,580 You just messed with the wrong girl. 870 01:08:57,705 --> 01:09:00,378 Hi Nell. I didn't know football was your bag. 871 01:09:00,585 --> 01:09:03,179 I just came to cheer the team. 872 01:09:03,945 --> 01:09:06,015 We're not doing too good. 873 01:09:14,065 --> 01:09:18,137 That's my boy! He's my boy! 874 01:09:27,464 --> 01:09:31,821 Touchdown for The Beavers by Harry the Horse! 875 01:09:33,384 --> 01:09:36,820 - Sit your fat arse down! - Point taken, my good woman. 876 01:09:39,104 --> 01:09:41,572 - Do you want some of the dog? - Yeah, thanks. 877 01:09:44,304 --> 01:09:45,862 Thanks, dad. 878 01:10:01,343 --> 01:10:04,176 This is it, folks. Only 5 seconds to go. 879 01:10:04,543 --> 01:10:08,252 Time for one more play. This is make or break for The Beavers. 880 01:10:13,303 --> 01:10:14,577 Ready? 881 01:10:26,463 --> 01:10:27,532 That's it, girl! 882 01:10:39,222 --> 01:10:40,860 Touchdown! 883 01:10:41,062 --> 01:10:44,293 The Westdale Beavers wins at the very last moment! 884 01:10:44,502 --> 01:10:49,371 It's a touchdown by Woody Deanne and The Beavers wins! 885 01:11:02,942 --> 01:11:05,058 What are you waiting here for? 886 01:11:10,302 --> 01:11:13,533 Woody! You're the man! 887 01:11:15,542 --> 01:11:16,816 Thanks. 888 01:11:17,382 --> 01:11:19,498 Great game, son. 889 01:11:19,742 --> 01:11:22,926 - Decided for a college yet? - I've had my heart set on Yale 890 01:11:23,026 --> 01:11:24,401 since I was a little girl. 891 01:11:24,501 --> 01:11:27,732 That's funny. You know what, get your parents to give me call. 892 01:11:28,221 --> 01:11:31,054 We're not Yale, but I think you might like what we have to offer. 893 01:11:31,581 --> 01:11:34,379 - Thank you so much. - No problem. Great game. 894 01:11:41,261 --> 01:11:44,492 You did it! You were great! 895 01:11:45,221 --> 01:11:47,576 Did you see me out there? I totally kicked ass! 896 01:11:47,781 --> 01:11:50,534 And the guy back here, he was a scout. He gave me his card. 897 01:11:51,461 --> 01:11:55,136 - You're going to college. No spatulas. - I saw. 898 01:11:56,581 --> 01:11:59,334 You know what the best part is? I totally loved it! 899 01:12:00,021 --> 01:12:03,411 Your adrenaline gets pumping and the crowd was totally into it. 900 01:12:06,980 --> 01:12:10,370 The interview? Oh my god, I totally forgot it. 901 01:12:11,260 --> 01:12:12,215 How was it? 902 01:12:13,500 --> 01:12:15,377 It was amazing. 903 01:12:16,100 --> 01:12:17,977 I mean, the place was. 904 01:12:18,180 --> 01:12:21,968 For a moment I really felt like part of it. 905 01:12:25,260 --> 01:12:26,978 I gave my best shot. 906 01:12:28,540 --> 01:12:30,178 I'm sure you did. 907 01:12:30,660 --> 01:12:32,571 And that's all anyone can ask. 908 01:12:34,060 --> 01:12:37,257 And I tell you something. They would be lucky - 909 01:12:37,660 --> 01:12:41,335 to have someone like you. Thank you. 910 01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:44,458 Dito. 911 01:12:46,139 --> 01:12:50,052 You know, if I have to spend my life as someone else - 912 01:12:51,179 --> 01:12:53,056 I'd be honoured to be you. 913 01:12:55,499 --> 01:12:56,818 Dito back at you. 914 01:12:58,019 --> 01:13:00,328 Double double dito. 915 01:13:23,059 --> 01:13:24,492 Woody? 916 01:13:26,019 --> 01:13:29,693 - Hey guys, I'm back! - What are you talking about, 'back'? 917 01:13:35,298 --> 01:13:39,257 Hey there, Mr. Football hero. Am I attractive enough for you now? 918 01:13:59,098 --> 01:14:01,035 Please Mrs. Bedworth, I need to speak to Nell. 919 01:14:01,135 --> 01:14:02,534 She doesn't wish to speak with you. 920 01:14:02,738 --> 01:14:03,887 I have to talk to her! 921 01:14:04,098 --> 01:14:06,094 She isn't going to the dance, Woody, 922 01:14:06,194 --> 01:14:08,728 but she did say she hopes you have a good time - 923 01:14:09,178 --> 01:14:10,815 with Breanna Bailey. 924 01:14:13,657 --> 01:14:17,013 For just one moment, Woody, I thought you had changed. 925 01:14:24,537 --> 01:14:28,325 Come on honey, why the sad face? 926 01:14:30,457 --> 01:14:32,095 You got everything we ever wanted. 927 01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:52,000 Dance Yourself to Death: Life, Not Living 928 01:14:55,976 --> 01:14:59,366 Oh my god! Look at that dress! 929 01:15:14,896 --> 01:15:16,375 So, do you like my dress? 930 01:15:18,176 --> 01:15:21,486 - Yeah, you look nice, Breanna. - It's so tight, it shows everything. 931 01:15:23,136 --> 01:15:25,127 I had to leave my panties off. 932 01:15:25,816 --> 01:15:27,966 Let's hope you don't get diarrhoea then. 933 01:15:28,456 --> 01:15:30,526 I'm gonna get some punch. 934 01:15:35,735 --> 01:15:36,929 Harry? 935 01:15:37,695 --> 01:15:38,969 Do you like my dress? 936 01:15:39,455 --> 01:15:40,808 Yeah baby, it looks good on you. 937 01:15:56,215 --> 01:15:57,101 I am so nervous? 938 01:15:57,201 --> 01:15:59,491 Are you kidding me? You've got this in a bag. 939 01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:03,165 Check the make-up? We won't be a minute. 940 01:16:03,375 --> 01:16:06,208 Woody, straighten your tie. Photographers! 941 01:16:12,335 --> 01:16:15,452 You know, seeing you in that tuxedo is making me feel kinda horny. 942 01:16:16,975 --> 01:16:20,171 - Let's do it in the bushes! - Serious? 943 01:16:20,614 --> 01:16:23,447 Yeah, it'd be like doing it with James Bond. 944 01:16:23,774 --> 01:16:28,404 You know me: 009/2. License to thrill! 945 01:16:33,654 --> 01:16:34,609 Woody, wait! 946 01:16:35,614 --> 01:16:39,368 You wait over there, then I'll walk by like Halle Berry - 947 01:16:39,574 --> 01:16:42,042 and then you jump up and grab me. 948 01:16:42,254 --> 01:16:44,085 Not a minute to miss. 949 01:17:00,213 --> 01:17:02,044 Ready when you are baby! 950 01:17:02,613 --> 01:17:04,524 Come and get me! 951 01:17:04,733 --> 01:17:06,371 Chanel? 952 01:17:12,293 --> 01:17:13,965 Goodbye, Mr. Bond. 953 01:17:19,533 --> 01:17:21,330 Halle Berry wouldn't have done that. 954 01:17:22,293 --> 01:17:25,569 Good evening, Westdale Bay! 955 01:17:26,173 --> 01:17:30,052 And the presentation of the crowns of this year's... 956 01:17:39,093 --> 01:17:40,606 Hi, princess. 957 01:17:43,532 --> 01:17:45,568 So you're not going to the dance? 958 01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:51,004 Does it have anything to do with Woody? 959 01:17:57,492 --> 01:17:58,845 Maybe. 960 01:18:00,812 --> 01:18:02,689 He likes someone else. 961 01:18:03,932 --> 01:18:06,002 But is she a princess? 962 01:18:07,972 --> 01:18:10,611 Anytime soon she'll be a queen. 963 01:18:10,892 --> 01:18:14,362 No contest. Princesses are younger and prettier - 964 01:18:14,572 --> 01:18:16,642 especially when they're my daughter. 965 01:18:21,452 --> 01:18:23,363 You really like him, don't you? 966 01:18:27,331 --> 01:18:28,605 Me too. 967 01:18:29,731 --> 01:18:32,086 I think he's a good one. 968 01:18:32,811 --> 01:18:34,085 I think you should go. 969 01:18:43,051 --> 01:18:44,404 But I don't have anything to wear. 970 01:18:46,051 --> 01:18:48,121 Just a... 971 01:18:54,571 --> 01:18:56,759 Now, I'm not usually known for my taste in fashion... 972 01:18:56,859 --> 01:18:58,962 but the young lady in the store said it was 'dope'. 973 01:18:59,171 --> 01:19:01,162 I have no idea what that means of course. 974 01:19:05,171 --> 01:19:06,808 It's beautiful. 975 01:19:09,610 --> 01:19:13,728 She said you need these too. Apparently these are heavy. 976 01:19:15,530 --> 01:19:17,248 For all I know they could be dope as well. 977 01:19:19,970 --> 01:19:21,369 Thank you! 978 01:19:22,010 --> 01:19:25,844 And the title of Westdale Bay High Homecoming King - 979 01:19:26,210 --> 01:19:27,563 goes to - 980 01:19:29,050 --> 01:19:32,565 our very own footballing hero, Woody Deanne! 981 01:19:49,889 --> 01:19:52,562 And now for the biggie - 982 01:19:52,769 --> 01:19:57,843 this year's Westdale Bay Homecoming Queen is - 983 01:20:00,729 --> 01:20:02,526 Breanna Bailey. 984 01:20:13,889 --> 01:20:17,598 Thank you, Miss Bidermeyer. Principal Johnson. 985 01:20:18,009 --> 01:20:20,318 And thank you, Westdale Bay! 986 01:20:20,729 --> 01:20:24,005 There are so many people that I need to share this great honour with. 987 01:20:24,209 --> 01:20:26,219 My mother whose undying support and... 988 01:20:26,319 --> 01:20:28,600 generous attitude towards cosmetic surgery. 989 01:20:28,809 --> 01:20:30,844 My hair dresser, Georgio Theodopolous - 990 01:20:31,048 --> 01:20:33,861 Thank you, Breanna. Another round of... 991 01:20:33,961 --> 01:20:37,123 applauds please for Homecoming King and Queen! 992 01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:44,000 Ozzy Osbourne: Goodbye to Romance 993 01:21:33,807 --> 01:21:36,776 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 994 01:21:36,876 --> 01:21:39,404 Thou art more lovely and temperate. 995 01:21:40,847 --> 01:21:45,477 Rough winds bla bla bla something. Can't remember. Yada yada yada. 996 01:21:48,887 --> 01:21:50,320 It's alright. 997 01:21:52,407 --> 01:21:54,398 I'm no Shakespeare - 998 01:21:54,887 --> 01:21:57,764 my guess is Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback, either, right? 999 01:21:58,966 --> 01:22:00,951 I really wish I had the most perfect and... 1000 01:22:01,051 --> 01:22:03,084 beautiful words in the world to say to you - 1001 01:22:03,286 --> 01:22:05,532 cause if I did I'd say them but... 1002 01:22:05,632 --> 01:22:08,963 I'd say how great you make me feel when I'm with you. 1003 01:22:09,846 --> 01:22:13,964 And how I love that little thing you do with your nose when you smile. 1004 01:22:15,166 --> 01:22:18,044 How you always correct my stupid grammar. I hate it. 1005 01:22:18,926 --> 01:22:20,359 But most of all - 1006 01:22:21,206 --> 01:22:26,519 I'd tell you that... you make me a better person. 1007 01:22:29,366 --> 01:22:30,924 My own person. 1008 01:22:32,686 --> 01:22:35,883 And that's why I know that this means nothing. 1009 01:22:39,485 --> 01:22:42,158 And you mean everything. 1010 01:22:45,045 --> 01:22:47,036 But hey, I'm just a stupid quarterback. 1011 01:22:48,325 --> 01:22:50,077 I don't know the right words. 1012 01:22:51,725 --> 01:22:54,000 Those were lovely words. 1013 01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:57,116 Perfect words. 1014 01:22:57,685 --> 01:22:59,516 Come here, dumb jock. 1015 01:22:59,965 --> 01:23:02,001 Don't try to stop me, pencil neck. 1016 01:23:05,445 --> 01:23:06,844 Stop that! 1017 01:23:07,725 --> 01:23:09,556 I'm the Homecoming Queen. 1018 01:23:10,205 --> 01:23:11,684 Let's get out of here. 1019 01:23:14,005 --> 01:23:17,475 - I'm the Homecoming Queen. - And you're a bitch! 1020 01:23:18,685 --> 01:23:20,754 Nice ass, baby! How about a little swirl? 1021 01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:28,000 Girls Aloud: I Think We're Alone Now (Background Music) 1022 01:23:42,724 --> 01:23:45,796 Did I miss this? Did Woody Deanne win? 1023 01:23:51,644 --> 01:23:53,919 Sweet lord! 1024 01:24:09,883 --> 01:24:11,635 So, how are we gonna do this? 1025 01:24:12,603 --> 01:24:15,481 You're going to your chicken shit college and me going to Yale. 1026 01:24:18,963 --> 01:24:23,400 You did it. It came this morning. Congratulations! 1027 01:24:24,123 --> 01:24:26,079 You got in? 1028 01:24:27,523 --> 01:24:29,002 Oh my god, I did it! 1029 01:24:29,203 --> 01:24:32,275 Me and you did really good, huh? 1030 01:24:33,203 --> 01:24:34,158 You and me. 1031 01:24:35,203 --> 01:24:36,556 Or - 1032 01:24:36,883 --> 01:24:38,032 I? 1033 01:24:38,243 --> 01:24:40,677 Will you just kiss me already? 1034 01:24:41,283 --> 01:24:43,035 Yes, mam. 1035 01:24:44,000 --> 01:24:49,000 James Blunt High (Background Music) 1036 01:25:23,082 --> 01:25:26,710 You can not be serious? A year of sabbatical? We're talking about Yale - 1037 01:25:26,921 --> 01:25:29,355 for heavens sake, Yale! 1038 01:25:31,201 --> 01:25:33,920 I know mum. But what the heck? 1039 01:26:06,681 --> 01:26:09,069 If I may quote Snoop Dog: 1040 01:26:10,720 --> 01:26:12,358 Let's get it started! 1041 01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:16,500 Black Eyed Peas: Let's Get It Started (Background Music) 1042 01:26:16,960 --> 01:26:18,632 Dope, huh? 1043 01:26:18,920 --> 01:26:20,876 See what I'm saying? 1044 01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:23,674 Actually, I'm not sure if this is Snoop - 1045 01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:28,431 it could be One Eyed Peas or 38 Cents. 1046 01:26:29,680 --> 01:26:31,750 I'm down with it anyway, bitch. 1047 01:26:32,305 --> 01:26:38,813 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/gxax Help other users to choose the best subtitles80613

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