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45 Yuan
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30A?
3
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It's said that a visit to
a Mainland "sauna" will,
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in just one ecstatic shudder,
tear down all the morals
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and values that a man takes
decades to build up.
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That this 45 Yuan ticket
that this 45 Yuan ticket
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would turn out to be my entry pass
to a road of no return.
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This is my story. It all
started when I was 25...
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(DUE WEST OUR SEX JOURNEY)
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Before then, I had always tried
to do the right thing
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and be a model citizen.
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I figure this is probably because
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I was raised in a sort of model household.
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00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:07,040
That's my mother, the
one with the long face.
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She's the Vice Principal and a
Discipline Officer at a girls' school.
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The one with the glasses next
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to her is my father.
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He's a senior officer in the
Drainage Services Department.
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"Loyal and devoted" would be the best way
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to describe his relationship with her.
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What kind of filth is this?
22
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It will rot your mind. This is not for you!
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Read this one. This one is more like it.
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Ever since I could
remember, morn encouraged
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free speech, democracy, and equity.
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We would convene regular family meetings
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to discuss any household issues.
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I have to go to the
countryside again next week,
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00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:53,670
so in regards to the minutes,
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I may have to submit them
at the next meeting.
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Didn't you just go?
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There has been a water shortage
in those areas lately,
33
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so they need volunteers to
continue providing aid.
34
00:03:02,055 --> 00:03:04,306
OK... Request granted.
35
00:03:04,307 --> 00:03:05,390
If there is nothing else on the agenda,
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00:03:05,391 --> 00:03:08,185
the meeting is adjourned.
37
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Mom, I've got a request.
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Say "Chairman".
39
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Chairman, I have a proposal.
40
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Continue.
41
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:14,650
I think I'm old enough now
42
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:17,653
and therefore request that
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I manage my own pocket money.
44
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You're still young, how can you be so sure?
45
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Once you're old enough,
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mommy will let you do it yourself.
47
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But morn, I am old enough!
48
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All right, since you insist,
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I will respect your request.
50
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Let's vote on it.
51
00:03:32,502 --> 00:03:37,502
All in favor of our boy managing
his own money, raise your hands.
52
00:03:38,132 --> 00:03:42,511
All opposed?
53
00:03:42,512 --> 00:03:46,139
Based on vote count, the
motion is defeated.
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00:03:46,140 --> 00:03:51,140
Meeting adjourned.
55
00:03:56,109 --> 00:03:59,820
Meeting adjourned.
56
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:02,322
Chairman, I have a new proposal.
57
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:03,573
Continue.
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00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:07,327
It's like this. I...
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00:04:07,328 --> 00:04:09,204
I want to start buying my own underwear.
60
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,455
Why?
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00:04:10,456 --> 00:04:12,958
Don't you like what morn picks?
62
00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:15,460
But this is kind of private...
63
00:04:15,461 --> 00:04:16,795
That's right!
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00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:17,921
As with exterior pipes of a building,
65
00:04:17,922 --> 00:04:19,631
which is a group matter,
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00:04:19,632 --> 00:04:20,757
If repairs are needed,
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00:04:20,758 --> 00:04:23,510
it must be approved by the building owners.
68
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:25,971
But my "thing" is not a group matter!
69
00:04:25,972 --> 00:04:28,807
Daddy, what are you going on about?
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00:04:28,808 --> 00:04:30,976
Teaching our son social responsibility.
71
00:04:30,977 --> 00:04:33,270
Mom, Dad, I totally understand.
72
00:04:33,271 --> 00:04:36,690
But I'm a grown up, it's time
for a little independence.
73
00:04:36,691 --> 00:04:39,484
Fine. We are a democracy.
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00:04:39,485 --> 00:04:40,819
Let's put it to a vote.
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00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:45,820
All in favor of Frankie
buying his own undies, hands up.
76
00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:48,994
All opposed?
77
00:04:48,995 --> 00:04:50,412
Well, then. It's settled.
78
00:04:50,413 --> 00:04:53,832
Daddy, if you would please
put this in the minutes.
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00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:58,170
Meeting adjourned.
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00:04:58,171 --> 00:05:00,464
Thus, no one understands better than I
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00:05:00,465 --> 00:05:02,382
the problems of an electorate.
82
00:05:02,383 --> 00:05:03,633
After all these years,
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00:05:03,634 --> 00:05:06,511
the only thing we didn't need a vote on
84
00:05:06,512 --> 00:05:10,015
was my refusal to study in the UK.
85
00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:11,933
After all,
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00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:13,894
what kind of parents don't want
87
00:05:13,895 --> 00:05:18,895
their children with them?
88
00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:24,237
What the heck?
89
00:05:24,238 --> 00:05:29,238
What are you doing?
90
00:05:29,869 --> 00:05:31,953
But my refusal to go to England
91
00:05:31,954 --> 00:05:34,080
wasn't due to filial piety.
92
00:05:34,081 --> 00:05:36,750
It was because of my dream girl...
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00:05:36,751 --> 00:05:38,418
According to Baidu Answers.
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00:05:38,419 --> 00:05:40,462
"First Love" is
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00:05:40,463 --> 00:05:42,798
merely youngsters longing
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00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:45,217
to have contact with and
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00:05:45,218 --> 00:05:47,052
understand the opposite sex,
98
00:05:47,053 --> 00:05:49,971
but not true love.
99
00:05:49,972 --> 00:05:54,142
Without a doubt, Zoey was my first love.
100
00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:59,143
- Haha...
- Argh.
101
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:01,983
Someone, help me to the nurse's office.
102
00:06:01,984 --> 00:06:05,862
Hah, neutered by a she-male.
That's ten years of bad luck!
103
00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:08,865
Stand back, everyone. Don't get any on you!
104
00:06:08,866 --> 00:06:13,866
It's your lucky day!
105
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,707
- Let's go.
- Ok.
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00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:21,962
"Silhouette" by Zhu Ziqing.
107
00:06:21,963 --> 00:06:24,464
He crosses the tracks,
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00:06:24,465 --> 00:06:29,261
trying hard to climb up
the platform, opposite.
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00:06:29,262 --> 00:06:30,846
Two hands grasp high,
two feet try to follow;
110
00:06:30,847 --> 00:06:33,807
I could never get why Zhu Zi-Qing
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00:06:33,808 --> 00:06:37,477
would get all weepy
just from looking at his dad's back.
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00:06:37,478 --> 00:06:40,605
This lecture on "Silhouette"
did nothing for me.
113
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:43,608
This other silhouette, however...
114
00:06:43,609 --> 00:06:46,778
it brings me to tears
115
00:06:46,779 --> 00:06:48,905
I wipe them away,
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fearing that he will see,
that others will see.
117
00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:55,370
The next moment when I looked
out of the window again,
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00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:59,624
father was already on the way back, holding
bright red tangerines in both hands.
119
00:06:59,625 --> 00:07:03,128
In crossing the railway track,
he first put the tangerines on the ground,
120
00:07:03,129 --> 00:07:05,797
At that moment, I knew for sure
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I had finally become a man.
122
00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:12,383
A big man.
123
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,348
There wasn't much in the way
of an internet back then.
124
00:07:15,349 --> 00:07:17,392
So the easiest way for guys
125
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:20,186
to look at naked women
126
00:07:20,187 --> 00:07:21,771
was just to buy a nudie mag
127
00:07:21,772 --> 00:07:24,065
available at any street vendor.
128
00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:25,901
What are you guys looking at?
129
00:07:25,902 --> 00:07:27,569
Get in line!
130
00:07:27,570 --> 00:07:28,820
Let's share.
131
00:07:28,821 --> 00:07:33,821
Line up!
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00:07:39,749 --> 00:07:41,833
Wait out front when school's out.
133
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:44,836
This underdeveloped
little guy is Wang Jing,
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00:07:44,837 --> 00:07:47,422
my only friend in high school.
135
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:50,258
"Jing" means quiet,
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00:07:50,259 --> 00:07:51,927
which is what he is.
137
00:07:51,928 --> 00:07:55,639
When he does talk, each word is a gem.
138
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,058
Of all the people I knew,
he understood me best,
139
00:07:58,059 --> 00:08:01,061
almost like he could hear me thinking.
140
00:08:01,062 --> 00:08:04,189
On the other hand,
141
00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:06,358
he'd never look straight at me,
142
00:08:06,359 --> 00:08:11,359
so I could never tell what he was thinking.
143
00:08:12,531 --> 00:08:17,531
Wow! Is that Yuki Maiko?!
144
00:08:20,831 --> 00:08:25,831
You want big? HK tits will never be
as big as white chicks'.
145
00:08:26,087 --> 00:08:28,713
That's when I realized
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00:08:28,714 --> 00:08:31,007
breasts weren't like I thought.
147
00:08:31,008 --> 00:08:35,178
Wang Jing thus became,
along with the skin mags,
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00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:38,014
the encouraging and friendly mentor
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00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:41,559
of my new alter ego.
150
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:44,229
This is good stuff.
Just give it back when you're done.
151
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:47,440
But I never did ask him,
152
00:08:47,441 --> 00:08:50,026
how was it that such a
prepubescent guy like him
153
00:08:50,027 --> 00:08:52,070
could be so knowledgeable?
154
00:08:52,071 --> 00:08:55,240
Who taught him all this stuff?
155
00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:57,283
Was it Miss Sex from the "Yes" column?
156
00:08:57,284 --> 00:08:58,827
Or maybe Dr. Kinsey from.
157
00:08:58,828 --> 00:09:00,578
"Reader's Digest"?
158
00:09:00,579 --> 00:09:05,579
That will always remain a mystery.
159
00:10:10,816 --> 00:10:13,234
I'm so happy to serve you.
160
00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:14,194
I would be so satisfied and proud of myself
161
00:10:14,195 --> 00:10:15,987
if I can just make you feel good.
162
00:10:15,988 --> 00:10:17,739
You're such a good girl.
163
00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:22,740
But I'm so bad!
164
00:11:19,426 --> 00:11:24,426
That feel good?
165
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:34,732
Really?
166
00:11:34,733 --> 00:11:36,276
Yeah, really, really good...
167
00:11:36,277 --> 00:11:41,277
Really?
168
00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:46,490
Really? Really?
169
00:11:50,207 --> 00:11:55,207
Really?
170
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Thank you so much.
171
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,710
Hey Dad, aren't you at tea with morn?
172
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,212
Why are you back alone?
173
00:12:37,213 --> 00:12:40,298
I got a stomachache so I left first.
174
00:12:40,299 --> 00:12:42,300
Have you eaten, yet?
175
00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:47,301
Yep.
176
00:12:50,935 --> 00:12:54,229
Please, please spit the damn thing out!
177
00:12:54,230 --> 00:12:57,148
Hey, what's with all the racket out there?
178
00:12:57,149 --> 00:13:02,149
Oh... Nothing, just the TV.
179
00:13:09,161 --> 00:13:11,120
The silver one is still better...
180
00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:11,829
Make yourselves comfortable.
181
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:12,664
Mom, you're back.
182
00:13:12,665 --> 00:13:14,249
Are you hot, son?
183
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,875
Why is your face all sweaty?
Do you have a fever?
184
00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:17,919
Don't come over here!
185
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,462
I just finished a workout.
186
00:13:19,463 --> 00:13:20,922
I'll be fine.
187
00:13:20,923 --> 00:13:24,509
Go get dressed. You're so embarrassing!
188
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:26,135
Aw, what's the worry?
189
00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,679
We've seen it all since he was little.
190
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,431
Your aunties wouldn't mind an updated peek!
191
00:13:30,432 --> 00:13:33,059
What were you doing just now?
192
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:35,353
Why is there a pair of
boxers in the living room?
193
00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:38,815
Dad just came back, said
something about diarrhea,
194
00:13:38,816 --> 00:13:40,566
and took them off as he came in.
195
00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:42,318
Your father should know better.
196
00:13:42,319 --> 00:13:44,529
Dropping things everywhere!
197
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:45,154
This is so embarrassing...
198
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:48,533
It's okay. I can be like
that when I'm in a rush.
199
00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:50,702
Of course. Understandable.
200
00:13:50,703 --> 00:13:54,038
Turn on the TV. There's
a show I'm following.
201
00:13:54,039 --> 00:13:56,374
Son, where's the remote?
202
00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:58,668
The remote... No idea.
203
00:13:58,669 --> 00:13:59,627
Forget the TV
204
00:13:59,628 --> 00:14:01,754
and hurry up.
205
00:14:01,755 --> 00:14:06,755
Let's get this game going.
206
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,680
You don't have to chuck the remote
just because you don't like what's on.
207
00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:11,681
Where's Baby?
208
00:14:11,682 --> 00:14:16,682
Baby, stop running around!
Come here. Good boy!
209
00:14:19,356 --> 00:14:20,481
I never would've guessed that Mrs. Chan
210
00:14:20,482 --> 00:14:25,028
would be the first woman
to swallow my load.
211
00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:29,782
Imagine that. She even seems to like it!
212
00:14:29,783 --> 00:14:32,577
Come on, we're waiting.
213
00:14:32,578 --> 00:14:35,121
Son, go get some drinks for us.
214
00:14:35,122 --> 00:14:36,581
What?
215
00:14:36,582 --> 00:14:38,958
Take care of our guests!
216
00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:40,293
Uh, I...
217
00:14:40,294 --> 00:14:41,419
I what?
218
00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:44,839
What is wrong with you today?
219
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,508
Mom, you're always telling
me to study harder and
220
00:14:47,509 --> 00:14:48,760
get a good grade.
221
00:14:48,761 --> 00:14:49,969
Well, I'm trying to right now,
222
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:51,596
yet here you are playing mahjong!
223
00:14:51,597 --> 00:14:53,598
How am I supposed to concentrate?
224
00:14:53,599 --> 00:14:55,058
You say one thing, but do another.
225
00:14:55,059 --> 00:14:57,977
I just can't take it.
226
00:14:57,978 --> 00:14:59,604
What your son says is right.
227
00:14:59,605 --> 00:15:01,898
Why don't we go to my place instead?
228
00:15:01,899 --> 00:15:04,400
Right! It's rare for kids
229
00:15:04,401 --> 00:15:06,903
- to be so studious these days.
- Let's go.
230
00:15:06,904 --> 00:15:09,405
Mom's wrong. It won't happen again.
231
00:15:09,406 --> 00:15:14,406
Thank you, mom.
232
00:15:18,123 --> 00:15:18,998
What's the matter, officer?
233
00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:19,916
We've received complaints
234
00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:21,542
of objects being thrown from here.
235
00:15:21,543 --> 00:15:24,629
How could that be? We're
just playing mahjong!
236
00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:27,006
Well then, is this remote yours?
237
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,634
Well, all remotes look the same.
238
00:15:29,635 --> 00:15:32,261
Wait. Weren't you just saying
you couldn't find yours?
239
00:15:32,262 --> 00:15:33,971
Couldn't this be it?
240
00:15:33,972 --> 00:15:35,807
Officer, you'd best check
before making allegations.
241
00:15:35,808 --> 00:15:38,393
I don't know electronics. Ask my son.
242
00:15:38,394 --> 00:15:40,812
Son, does this look like our remote?
243
00:15:40,813 --> 00:15:43,481
This thing isn't from our home.
244
00:15:43,482 --> 00:15:45,817
See? And it's so beat-up,
245
00:15:45,818 --> 00:15:47,527
you could say it's anybody's!
246
00:15:47,528 --> 00:15:50,613
What's the big deal. Try it and see.
247
00:15:50,614 --> 00:15:55,614
It's so broken, there's no point.
248
00:15:56,662 --> 00:15:58,579
This ought to work.
249
00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:03,580
Dad!
250
00:16:19,351 --> 00:16:21,352
After that incident,
251
00:16:21,353 --> 00:16:23,855
mom never held another family meeting.
252
00:16:23,856 --> 00:16:26,023
She never even mentioned it again.
253
00:16:26,024 --> 00:16:28,943
It seemed like she wasn't
so strict, either.
254
00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:32,113
It was almost like I was a freed slave!
255
00:16:32,114 --> 00:16:34,157
However, everyone in the neighborhood
256
00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:39,158
now knew who I was.
257
00:16:41,707 --> 00:16:45,918
You're only 16. There's
still plenty of time.
258
00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:48,087
Find a nice girl to lay.
259
00:16:48,088 --> 00:16:50,590
You won't have to yank it yourself anymore.
260
00:16:50,591 --> 00:16:52,884
Like it's that easy.
261
00:16:52,885 --> 00:16:55,928
Where there's a will, there's a way.
262
00:16:55,929 --> 00:16:57,221
Wait for my word.
263
00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:58,681
Wang Jing handed me a condom
264
00:16:58,682 --> 00:16:59,974
like it was nothing
265
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,185
and left without a word.
266
00:17:02,186 --> 00:17:03,853
Honestly, if I hadn't accidentally
267
00:17:03,854 --> 00:17:06,272
once seen one in Dad's room,
268
00:17:06,273 --> 00:17:07,899
I would have thought it was a piece of gum
269
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:10,234
and popped it in my mouth.
270
00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:12,445
A box would have been nice.
271
00:17:12,446 --> 00:17:14,739
At least that would have had
some instructions in it.
272
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:16,949
Son. It's for you.
273
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:19,410
When Jing told me to wait for his word,
274
00:17:19,411 --> 00:17:21,579
I didn't ask for word of what.
275
00:17:21,580 --> 00:17:22,455
But that very night,
276
00:17:22,456 --> 00:17:26,501
he called and right off the bat said...
277
00:17:26,502 --> 00:17:29,003
Done and dusted.
278
00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:31,214
Why does "dusted"
279
00:17:31,215 --> 00:17:32,757
necessarily follow "done"?
280
00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:34,717
Why not "done and delivered"?
281
00:17:34,718 --> 00:17:36,427
And what about the phrase.
282
00:17:36,428 --> 00:17:38,054
"Lipstick on a pig"?
283
00:17:38,055 --> 00:17:39,972
Why not a dress?
284
00:17:39,973 --> 00:17:41,849
I drew a blank
285
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,684
and couldn't guess what Jing was up to.
286
00:17:43,685 --> 00:17:45,728
Up until he mentioned meeting Zoey.
287
00:17:45,729 --> 00:17:50,274
That woke me up!
288
00:17:50,275 --> 00:17:54,070
Turns out we were going camping.
289
00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:56,697
And wouldn't you know
it, a pig on the trip.
290
00:17:56,698 --> 00:17:57,907
Here, let me help you.
291
00:17:57,908 --> 00:18:00,451
I never asked Jing how he arranged
that date with Zoey.
292
00:18:00,452 --> 00:18:01,577
And at that moment
293
00:18:01,578 --> 00:18:03,454
it was the last thing from my mind.
294
00:18:03,455 --> 00:18:04,372
Let me.
295
00:18:04,373 --> 00:18:08,042
Oh, I can manage.
296
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,545
Are you okay?
297
00:18:10,546 --> 00:18:12,463
I'm fine. Just need some cough syrup.
298
00:18:12,464 --> 00:18:14,966
I was simply too focused on finding a way
299
00:18:14,967 --> 00:18:18,052
to use that "stick of gum" he gave me.
300
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:23,053
Take it.
301
00:18:24,309 --> 00:18:29,272
Your sausage is done.
Brush some honey on it.
302
00:18:29,273 --> 00:18:30,231
Hey, Jean. Let's take a walk.
303
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:32,650
Why the hell should we do that?
304
00:18:32,651 --> 00:18:33,484
To have a chat.
305
00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:35,152
To have a chat?!
306
00:18:35,153 --> 00:18:39,323
- Sure!
- Hey! Jean! Jean!
307
00:18:39,324 --> 00:18:41,367
Hah. That was weird, huh?
308
00:18:41,368 --> 00:18:45,454
Yeah... Pretty weird.
309
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:46,622
How about we put on some music?
310
00:18:46,623 --> 00:18:51,623
Sure.
311
00:18:54,131 --> 00:18:55,506
Can I get you a drink?
312
00:18:55,507 --> 00:18:58,342
Sure, thanks!
313
00:18:58,343 --> 00:19:00,636
Get some booze in her.
314
00:19:00,637 --> 00:19:04,140
Once she's nice and drunk, you can...
315
00:19:04,141 --> 00:19:05,391
ls there beer?
316
00:19:05,392 --> 00:19:06,517
Yes...
317
00:19:06,518 --> 00:19:11,518
- Then beer it is!
- Great...
318
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:18,317
Cheers!
319
00:19:20,574 --> 00:19:21,490
Another one!
320
00:19:21,491 --> 00:19:23,701
Really? You still want more?
321
00:19:23,702 --> 00:19:26,037
Come on, drink with me.
322
00:19:26,038 --> 00:19:31,038
Oh. Okay.
323
00:19:32,377 --> 00:19:37,377
Bottoms up!
324
00:19:39,718 --> 00:19:40,926
Give me another.
325
00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:42,511
What? You really up to this?
326
00:19:42,512 --> 00:19:45,181
I'm fine. You'll take care of me, right?
327
00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:48,851
I sure will.
328
00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:53,852
I'll take care of everything.
329
00:20:00,113 --> 00:20:02,073
You sure you can keep drinking?
330
00:20:02,074 --> 00:20:07,074
Of course! I'm a guy.
331
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:14,790
Who says I can't handle it? More!
332
00:20:17,714 --> 00:20:21,717
Also, has anyone told you
333
00:20:21,718 --> 00:20:25,805
you have two heads and four boobs?
334
00:20:25,806 --> 00:20:27,431
Do you think you're pretty?
335
00:20:27,432 --> 00:20:32,432
Are you all right? Let me help you inside.
336
00:20:32,437 --> 00:20:37,437
I'm fine.
337
00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:56,293
Wasn't there something you
wanted to say? Say it!
338
00:20:56,294 --> 00:20:58,129
The moon is like my heart.
339
00:20:58,130 --> 00:20:59,839
What?
340
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:02,174
Do you believe in aliens?
341
00:21:02,175 --> 00:21:03,008
Fucking aliens?!
342
00:21:03,009 --> 00:21:04,760
You asshole! Wasting my time!
343
00:21:04,761 --> 00:21:06,679
You're so full of it.
344
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,806
I have an alien dissection video.
Wanna see?
345
00:21:08,807 --> 00:21:10,391
Go to hell!
346
00:21:10,392 --> 00:21:15,392
Your loss.
347
00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:36,792
You're so pretty...
348
00:21:36,793 --> 00:21:38,127
Really?
349
00:21:38,128 --> 00:21:41,380
You know,
350
00:21:41,381 --> 00:21:43,674
I've liked you for a long time.
351
00:21:43,675 --> 00:21:46,761
Will you be my girlfriend?
352
00:21:46,762 --> 00:21:51,762
Yes...
353
00:24:19,164 --> 00:24:20,122
Finally.
354
00:24:20,123 --> 00:24:21,081
And the rice is ready.
355
00:24:21,082 --> 00:24:26,082
You guys already back?
356
00:24:42,729 --> 00:24:47,729
Honey, you're so naughty!
357
00:24:48,944 --> 00:24:51,695
And such was the result of mixing
358
00:24:51,696 --> 00:24:54,198
soda, beer, and cough syrup: My virginity
359
00:24:54,199 --> 00:24:57,242
given up to a pig wearing lipstick.
360
00:24:57,243 --> 00:25:00,537
I wanted to kill myself
that night and be done with,
361
00:25:00,538 --> 00:25:02,373
but they swore
362
00:25:02,374 --> 00:25:04,917
they wouldn't tell anyone,
363
00:25:04,918 --> 00:25:06,627
so I changed my mind.
364
00:25:06,628 --> 00:25:09,964
But it's not like I could
just believe them.
365
00:25:09,965 --> 00:25:12,716
I'm not stupid, you know.
366
00:25:12,717 --> 00:25:14,343
Hey, what are you doing, sneaking around?
367
00:25:14,344 --> 00:25:15,970
Don't run away, Frankie!
368
00:25:15,971 --> 00:25:18,389
What's with you today, all disguised
369
00:25:18,390 --> 00:25:20,766
with your dark glasses and everything?
370
00:25:20,767 --> 00:25:21,767
You could still tell it's me?
371
00:25:21,768 --> 00:25:24,269
Even if you had a bag over your head.
372
00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:28,482
Never mind, I'm off to class.
373
00:25:28,483 --> 00:25:30,693
You're in deep shit now!
374
00:25:30,694 --> 00:25:32,987
Why? What happened?
375
00:25:32,988 --> 00:25:34,989
Word has it that you...
376
00:25:34,990 --> 00:25:37,700
failed your English test!
377
00:25:37,701 --> 00:25:38,450
Is that all?
378
00:25:38,451 --> 00:25:39,785
And that's not a big enough deal?
379
00:25:39,786 --> 00:25:40,619
Forget him.
380
00:25:40,620 --> 00:25:45,207
It's time for us to get to class. Let's go.
381
00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:48,002
Frankly, I would've been better off
382
00:25:48,003 --> 00:25:49,712
jerking into a toilet.
383
00:25:49,713 --> 00:25:51,171
So that's what I tried
384
00:25:51,172 --> 00:25:56,172
to convince myself had happened.
385
00:25:56,469 --> 00:25:58,095
Say what you did this time.
386
00:25:58,096 --> 00:25:59,513
Cursing.
387
00:25:59,514 --> 00:26:01,181
Fine, then here is the punishment.
388
00:26:01,182 --> 00:26:02,182
Go back and write a thousand times
389
00:26:02,183 --> 00:26:03,600
"I will never swear again."
390
00:26:03,601 --> 00:26:06,645
I didn't they'd keep their promise.
391
00:26:06,646 --> 00:26:11,646
Next time will be worse.
392
00:26:13,445 --> 00:26:18,445
Honey, I'm wearing a T-back today!
393
00:26:18,575 --> 00:26:19,658
You like eating pigs' lips?
394
00:26:19,659 --> 00:26:24,659
Now who's got the lifetime of bad luck!
395
00:26:25,790 --> 00:26:30,790
Enough!
396
00:26:30,795 --> 00:26:35,795
Yummy pig lips!
397
00:26:42,807 --> 00:26:46,685
That was the last time I saw Zoey,
398
00:26:46,686 --> 00:26:49,813
because after that I took charge
399
00:26:49,814 --> 00:26:52,524
and made up my mind!
400
00:26:52,525 --> 00:26:56,070
I'm going to England! And
I want to go tomorrow!
401
00:26:56,071 --> 00:26:57,404
Like a lot of people,
402
00:26:57,405 --> 00:26:58,947
I thought that I'd be hooking up
403
00:26:58,948 --> 00:27:01,325
with blondes as soon as I arrived,
404
00:27:01,326 --> 00:27:04,328
but that wasn't exactly the case.
405
00:27:04,329 --> 00:27:06,914
You know what's worse than
being stuck with a porker?
406
00:27:06,915 --> 00:27:10,000
Answer: Being stuck in a herd of them.
407
00:27:10,001 --> 00:27:12,169
Really, everything is relative.
408
00:27:12,170 --> 00:27:13,754
This make me think back sometimes,
409
00:27:13,755 --> 00:27:18,755
Jean wasn't actually that bad.
410
00:27:23,014 --> 00:27:26,517
Of course, things aren't always bad.
411
00:27:26,518 --> 00:27:28,519
Margaret, a British-Chinese mix,
412
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,854
was my only girlfriend in England.
413
00:27:30,855 --> 00:27:34,024
Actually, she was my real first love.
414
00:27:34,025 --> 00:27:35,609
A lot of people envied me for having
415
00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:37,736
such a hottie the first time out.
416
00:27:37,737 --> 00:27:42,737
But then, there are always
two sides to every story.
417
00:27:45,328 --> 00:27:48,497
Almost!
418
00:27:48,498 --> 00:27:53,498
Aw, it's just a game...
419
00:28:11,312 --> 00:28:16,312
What? Kick with the left!
420
00:28:16,651 --> 00:28:18,861
Don't get so upset. It's just a game.
421
00:28:18,862 --> 00:28:21,655
This is a big match. I have to watch it.
422
00:28:21,656 --> 00:28:26,656
Okay, I'll turn it off.
423
00:28:39,215 --> 00:28:41,258
I'm sorry.
424
00:28:41,259 --> 00:28:46,259
Come on, one more time.
425
00:29:59,504 --> 00:30:02,589
Though Margaret and I
were both Arsenal fans,
426
00:30:02,590 --> 00:30:03,173
I didn't think she would
copy their style, too,
427
00:30:03,174 --> 00:30:05,842
playing with herself
428
00:30:05,843 --> 00:30:10,843
outside the field like that.
429
00:30:22,694 --> 00:30:26,029
So I decided to copy one
of my heroes, Batistuta,
430
00:30:26,030 --> 00:30:31,030
and attack her full-force.
431
00:30:32,412 --> 00:30:34,538
Turns out that sent Margaret
432
00:30:34,539 --> 00:30:38,125
to the ER with a broken wrist.
433
00:30:38,126 --> 00:30:39,710
Which is how I discovered my cup of tea
434
00:30:39,711 --> 00:30:42,713
wasn't Earl Grey. Not traditional enough.
435
00:30:42,714 --> 00:30:46,049
After that, I never dated
another white chick.
436
00:30:46,050 --> 00:30:47,426
I went home to Hong Kong after graduating
437
00:30:47,427 --> 00:30:49,469
and found a sales and marketing job
438
00:30:49,470 --> 00:30:51,763
for a multinational.
439
00:30:51,764 --> 00:30:53,223
Hey! "The Hypocritic" put up a new one!
440
00:30:53,224 --> 00:30:55,225
Snow-white tits and pink nipples,
441
00:30:55,226 --> 00:30:56,768
Bouncy squeeze.
442
00:30:56,769 --> 00:30:58,020
Love'em to bits.
443
00:30:58,021 --> 00:30:59,229
This chubby guy,
444
00:30:59,230 --> 00:31:00,522
a year ahead and my former
dorm mate in England,
445
00:31:00,523 --> 00:31:02,190
is James.
446
00:31:02,191 --> 00:31:05,235
His only two interests
are hookers and cursing.
447
00:31:05,236 --> 00:31:07,654
What are you doing at my desk?
448
00:31:07,655 --> 00:31:09,072
Grab a seat and have a look!
449
00:31:09,073 --> 00:31:10,574
It's easier to hide here.
450
00:31:10,575 --> 00:31:12,909
Of course this shit's good.
451
00:31:12,910 --> 00:31:14,870
Hell, see for yourself.
452
00:31:14,871 --> 00:31:15,996
Performance Rankings?
453
00:31:15,997 --> 00:31:19,624
What rankings? Horses?
454
00:31:19,625 --> 00:31:22,627
Not horses. Whores!
455
00:31:22,628 --> 00:31:23,712
You were close.
456
00:31:23,713 --> 00:31:25,839
Don't ever say I never gave you anything.
457
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,426
This website has the latest info on
all the hookers in town.
458
00:31:29,427 --> 00:31:31,261
Especially this guy calling
himself "Hypocritic".
459
00:31:31,262 --> 00:31:34,181
Not only do his reports have pictures,
460
00:31:34,182 --> 00:31:36,099
but detailed listings of
their special skills!
461
00:31:36,100 --> 00:31:38,518
They're fucking unreal!
462
00:31:38,519 --> 00:31:42,064
He's like our patron saint.
463
00:31:42,065 --> 00:31:44,941
Pretty damned awesome, right?
464
00:31:44,942 --> 00:31:47,611
First of all, I'm no john like you all.
465
00:31:47,612 --> 00:31:49,446
Secondly, you guys shouldn't use
466
00:31:49,447 --> 00:31:51,448
my computer to browse this kind of stuff.
467
00:31:51,449 --> 00:31:54,618
C'mon, guys. There are women here.
468
00:31:54,619 --> 00:31:55,619
Watch yourselves.
469
00:31:55,620 --> 00:31:57,287
It's not like that.
470
00:31:57,288 --> 00:31:59,289
Women these days are wilder than you!
471
00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:02,667
Like you're so damned straight-laced.
472
00:32:02,668 --> 00:32:04,961
Don't worry, we'll bring
you along next time.
473
00:32:04,962 --> 00:32:07,506
Thanks, but no. Go if you want to,
474
00:32:07,507 --> 00:32:08,298
Leave me out of it.
475
00:32:08,299 --> 00:32:09,341
Bullshit!
476
00:32:09,342 --> 00:32:11,760
No such thing as a cat
that don't like fish.
477
00:32:11,761 --> 00:32:13,178
And if you've never had roast goose,
478
00:32:13,179 --> 00:32:16,431
you can't say you don't like it.
479
00:32:16,432 --> 00:32:18,392
Kid, take my advice,
480
00:32:18,393 --> 00:32:20,644
don't waste your time
fooling with regular girls.
481
00:32:20,645 --> 00:32:25,232
Come with us and have a
straight-up good time.
482
00:32:25,233 --> 00:32:26,108
Frankie.
483
00:32:26,109 --> 00:32:28,944
This one with the serious face
and the big tits is Susan,
484
00:32:28,945 --> 00:32:32,197
the boss' daughter and my superior.
485
00:32:32,198 --> 00:32:34,950
Frankie, we've got an Australian client
coming in the afternoon.
486
00:32:34,951 --> 00:32:36,034
You take care of him.
487
00:32:36,035 --> 00:32:38,161
Susan, I bought your favorite,
488
00:32:38,162 --> 00:32:39,704
blueberry cheesecake.
489
00:32:39,705 --> 00:32:40,705
Let me go get it for you.
490
00:32:40,706 --> 00:32:42,499
But... it's high in calories.
491
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:46,086
Of course, but this one is high protein
and low sugar!
492
00:32:46,087 --> 00:32:48,672
If James was born in
Emperor Kang Xi's time,
493
00:32:48,673 --> 00:32:50,674
I'm sure he could have
out-flattered the best courtesans.
494
00:32:50,675 --> 00:32:52,801
You picked it to match, right?
495
00:32:52,802 --> 00:32:54,094
Since when?
496
00:32:54,095 --> 00:32:55,345
You talk like you know me so well.
497
00:32:55,346 --> 00:32:59,391
But what I learned from
his skills were useful,
498
00:32:59,392 --> 00:33:04,392
like that time it helped me close a deal
with a huge foreign account...
499
00:33:08,693 --> 00:33:10,277
Actually, I could use your help.
500
00:33:10,278 --> 00:33:11,445
I want to get a hooker.
501
00:33:11,446 --> 00:33:13,530
Where can I find them in Hong Kong?
502
00:33:13,531 --> 00:33:14,990
Er...
503
00:33:14,991 --> 00:33:18,743
You don't know, do you?
504
00:33:18,744 --> 00:33:21,872
- Oh, forget it.
- I myself don't get hookers.
505
00:33:21,873 --> 00:33:23,290
Seems to me like,
506
00:33:23,291 --> 00:33:25,625
"That is completely rubbish."
507
00:33:25,626 --> 00:33:27,210
But to keep the relationship
with this client,
508
00:33:27,211 --> 00:33:29,379
and to show the spirit of "Hong Kong,
the Entertainment Capital,"
509
00:33:29,380 --> 00:33:33,091
I decided to tell him about that website
510
00:33:33,092 --> 00:33:35,802
and everything about it.
511
00:33:35,803 --> 00:33:37,387
Doesn't look bad.
512
00:33:37,388 --> 00:33:38,722
What kind of service?
513
00:33:38,723 --> 00:33:41,433
BBBJTCNQNS shouldn't be a problem.
514
00:33:41,434 --> 00:33:44,144
BBBJ... What is that?
515
00:33:44,145 --> 00:33:46,188
Bareback blow-job to completion,
516
00:33:46,189 --> 00:33:48,064
no quit, no spit.
517
00:33:48,065 --> 00:33:51,276
But in Cantonese, we call it...
518
00:33:51,277 --> 00:33:53,737
"Mouth Bomb"
- Mouth Bomb?
519
00:33:53,738 --> 00:33:55,864
I like the sound of that!
520
00:33:55,865 --> 00:33:57,491
Should we give it a try?
521
00:33:57,492 --> 00:33:58,700
Can we get going?
522
00:33:58,701 --> 00:33:59,743
How far is it?
523
00:33:59,744 --> 00:34:01,578
What was it again? Mouth Bomb?
524
00:34:01,579 --> 00:34:03,413
Really?
525
00:34:03,414 --> 00:34:06,583
Mouth Bomb, was it?
526
00:34:06,584 --> 00:34:08,335
Mouth Bomb!
527
00:34:08,336 --> 00:34:11,296
Fate can sometimes work in weird ways.
528
00:34:11,297 --> 00:34:14,216
Despite meeting Zeta in this situation,
529
00:34:14,217 --> 00:34:17,093
I was smart enough
530
00:34:17,094 --> 00:34:19,012
to put the blame on the foreigner.
531
00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:20,805
And she believed me!
532
00:34:20,806 --> 00:34:22,641
Though I can't be sure
if she was gullible in general
533
00:34:22,642 --> 00:34:26,228
or just around me.
534
00:34:26,229 --> 00:34:29,648
Here we are together,
535
00:34:29,649 --> 00:34:31,983
the last minute before 3pm,
536
00:34:31,984 --> 00:34:33,902
the16th of April, 2011.
537
00:34:33,903 --> 00:34:36,988
Let's remember this moment.
538
00:34:36,989 --> 00:34:39,783
Such a shame the moment was gone so soon.
539
00:34:39,784 --> 00:34:41,952
If I could go back to that day,
540
00:34:41,953 --> 00:34:45,705
I would say three words to her.
"I love you".
541
00:34:45,706 --> 00:34:48,625
If I had to put a time limit on that love,
542
00:34:48,626 --> 00:34:51,795
I would set it at ten thousand years.
543
00:34:51,796 --> 00:34:55,006
I just thought of what Eileen Chang wrote,
544
00:34:55,007 --> 00:34:57,676
"So much love carved into our hearts.
545
00:34:57,677 --> 00:35:00,720
Yet so often coming to naught."
546
00:35:00,721 --> 00:35:03,807
Don't worry. As Amy Chang said,
547
00:35:03,808 --> 00:35:06,768
"Love is a part of self-improvement"
548
00:35:06,769 --> 00:35:08,937
that we each must experience...
549
00:35:08,938 --> 00:35:11,690
Hurting others and being hurt.
550
00:35:11,691 --> 00:35:15,402
Joy, dismay, despair, longing, waiting.
551
00:35:15,403 --> 00:35:18,238
Suffering from pain,
followed by enlightenment.
552
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:19,990
What matters isn't what you get or lose,
553
00:35:19,991 --> 00:35:23,702
but how much you grow
and how much you learn.
554
00:35:23,703 --> 00:35:28,039
Your life will be more colorful
and never again the same.
555
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,499
Doesn't that make you sick?
556
00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:31,668
Same here, listening to myself talk.
557
00:35:31,669 --> 00:35:35,422
Well, love does weird things to people.
558
00:35:35,423 --> 00:35:39,217
Said another way, we were a perfect match.
559
00:35:39,218 --> 00:35:41,803
Not only that. Zeta had the kind of job
560
00:35:41,804 --> 00:35:44,347
that makes guys come running.
561
00:35:44,348 --> 00:35:49,348
It sure got me excited.
562
00:35:49,645 --> 00:35:50,729
Most important of all, though,
563
00:35:50,730 --> 00:35:53,690
was that she was my only soul-mate.
564
00:35:53,691 --> 00:35:58,361
Happy Birthday!
565
00:35:58,362 --> 00:36:00,530
Happy Birthday, baby!
566
00:36:00,531 --> 00:36:02,741
Aw, that's so sweet.
567
00:36:02,742 --> 00:36:05,076
Since you're her boyfriend,
568
00:36:05,077 --> 00:36:08,038
don't you think you should sing for her?
569
00:36:08,039 --> 00:36:09,247
- Yeah, sing!
- Sing...
570
00:36:09,248 --> 00:36:11,875
What? I'm no good at singing.
571
00:36:11,876 --> 00:36:12,876
I'll pick a song for you.
572
00:36:12,877 --> 00:36:15,045
Just one song!
573
00:36:15,046 --> 00:36:16,880
Pick one for me, too!
574
00:36:16,881 --> 00:36:21,881
Okay, just a sec.
575
00:36:34,565 --> 00:36:38,568
"Doing the best but not being appreciated."
576
00:36:38,569 --> 00:36:42,447
"You decide to follow him."
577
00:36:42,448 --> 00:36:47,448
"He doesn't cherish you,
but I'm most happy to."
578
00:36:50,331 --> 00:36:54,167
"I'm resolved to love
him, wish me happiness."
579
00:36:54,168 --> 00:36:58,129
"You know I will be with
him no matter what."
580
00:36:58,130 --> 00:37:02,634
"Even if it hurts, I will wait for him."
581
00:37:02,635 --> 00:37:05,261
What the? They're terrible!
582
00:37:05,262 --> 00:37:07,597
"I still watch you, Will he be moved?"
583
00:37:07,598 --> 00:37:12,598
"Watching you walk along the cliff."
584
00:37:16,691 --> 00:37:18,400
Hey, shower-up first.
585
00:37:18,401 --> 00:37:20,610
But I just took one!
586
00:37:20,611 --> 00:37:22,195
Then stop messing around!
587
00:37:22,196 --> 00:37:27,196
Okay, right away.
588
00:37:31,330 --> 00:37:33,873
Remember to clean better down there!
589
00:37:33,874 --> 00:37:38,002
Okay.
590
00:37:38,003 --> 00:37:40,797
Don't forget to use
mouthwash after brushing!
591
00:37:40,798 --> 00:37:45,427
Okay!
592
00:37:45,428 --> 00:37:46,720
All set!
593
00:37:46,721 --> 00:37:47,887
What are you up to?
594
00:37:47,888 --> 00:37:48,805
Nothing.
595
00:37:48,806 --> 00:37:50,265
Nothing?
596
00:37:50,266 --> 00:37:52,267
You're putting my article up on the web?
597
00:37:52,268 --> 00:37:53,643
It's good stuff, don't worry about it.
598
00:37:53,644 --> 00:37:55,103
No, delete it.
599
00:37:55,104 --> 00:37:56,229
No!
600
00:37:56,230 --> 00:38:01,230
Try it again and you won't get any!
601
00:38:10,119 --> 00:38:14,372
I did everything. See?
602
00:38:14,373 --> 00:38:19,373
Okay.
603
00:38:21,630 --> 00:38:23,882
Just once without turning off the lights?
604
00:38:23,883 --> 00:38:25,091
Forget it then.
605
00:38:25,092 --> 00:38:30,092
Okay, okay.
606
00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:33,475
Not here.
607
00:38:33,476 --> 00:38:35,393
Not there, either.
608
00:38:35,394 --> 00:38:36,853
Come on, just a peck.
609
00:38:36,854 --> 00:38:39,689
You know full well that
I'm allergic to saliva.
610
00:38:39,690 --> 00:38:40,565
Then I won't use any.
611
00:38:40,566 --> 00:38:41,816
No!
612
00:38:41,817 --> 00:38:44,027
Okay, okay.
613
00:38:44,028 --> 00:38:46,696
Now put on a condom.
614
00:38:46,697 --> 00:38:49,199
But he's not ready, yet.
615
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,242
How about your mouth pitch in a little...
616
00:38:51,243 --> 00:38:56,243
Use your own mouth!
617
00:39:39,750 --> 00:39:43,211
Yay! There's a response!
618
00:39:43,212 --> 00:39:48,212
Don't worry about me. Keep going.
619
00:40:22,042 --> 00:40:23,293
I told you. See?
620
00:40:23,294 --> 00:40:26,546
So many positive comments already!
621
00:40:26,547 --> 00:40:29,340
"My boyfriend's excellent article"?
622
00:40:29,341 --> 00:40:31,092
Miss Z is you?
623
00:40:31,093 --> 00:40:33,011
I'm your girlfriend.
624
00:40:33,012 --> 00:40:34,596
Of course I'm the first one to support you!
625
00:40:34,597 --> 00:40:39,597
I'll always be your number one fan!
626
00:40:39,643 --> 00:40:40,977
Why don't we do it again?
627
00:40:40,978 --> 00:40:45,315
You pervert!
628
00:40:45,316 --> 00:40:47,275
Just once with the lights on?
629
00:40:47,276 --> 00:40:48,651
- Then forget it.
- Okay, okay.
630
00:40:48,652 --> 00:40:52,113
Dr. Kinsey said that
a mutually harmonious sex life
631
00:40:52,114 --> 00:40:54,908
is the lubricant in a relationship.
632
00:40:54,909 --> 00:40:58,328
If lovers spend a lot of time
together in disharmony,
633
00:40:58,329 --> 00:41:01,414
they will build anger and become resentful,
634
00:41:01,415 --> 00:41:03,541
letting small problems
turn into big arguments.
635
00:41:03,542 --> 00:41:07,003
That can destroy the relationship,
or the life of either partner.
636
00:41:07,004 --> 00:41:08,421
Don't make a scene out of it!
It's no big deal!
637
00:41:08,422 --> 00:41:09,547
You think it's no big deal?!
638
00:41:09,548 --> 00:41:13,885
Zeta: You are up early tomorrow,
you should sleep now XD
639
00:41:13,886 --> 00:41:18,886
Frankie: Ok, baby, I'll
call you tomorrow, Goodnight.
640
00:41:25,022 --> 00:41:26,105
It's just MSN.
641
00:41:26,106 --> 00:41:27,857
So what if I forgot to add a smiley!
642
00:41:27,858 --> 00:41:28,775
It's not just MSN.
643
00:41:28,776 --> 00:41:29,734
How many times have I told you?
644
00:41:29,735 --> 00:41:30,902
Are you trying to be rude?
645
00:41:30,903 --> 00:41:32,278
Fuck! I don't even finish
my sentences with a period
646
00:41:32,279 --> 00:41:33,947
and you expect me to add
a goddamned smiley face?
647
00:41:33,948 --> 00:41:35,865
Are you swearing at me?
648
00:41:35,866 --> 00:41:39,077
I swore... but not at you!
649
00:41:39,078 --> 00:41:44,078
You are hopeless!
650
00:41:49,004 --> 00:41:51,422
Failed relationships are a big deal to me.
651
00:41:51,423 --> 00:41:54,217
When people are at their
saddest and loneliest,
652
00:41:54,218 --> 00:41:56,844
they usually look up an old friend.
653
00:41:56,845 --> 00:41:58,221
So I naturally thought of him...
654
00:41:58,222 --> 00:42:03,222
Congratulations.
655
00:42:03,727 --> 00:42:08,727
Out with the old, in with the new.
656
00:42:09,650 --> 00:42:11,234
Growing up never made me forget
657
00:42:11,235 --> 00:42:13,611
my good friend Wong Jing.
658
00:42:13,612 --> 00:42:14,612
Actually, we kept in touch
659
00:42:14,613 --> 00:42:17,365
through the years.
660
00:42:17,366 --> 00:42:20,243
He'd been up to Shenzhen
a lot for work since graduating
661
00:42:20,244 --> 00:42:22,495
I don't know what weird
things he'd been eating,
662
00:42:22,496 --> 00:42:26,040
but it's like he hit
another cycle, filling out
663
00:42:26,041 --> 00:42:29,502
into someone tall and handsome.
664
00:42:29,503 --> 00:42:31,713
Pick up girls on the mainland?
665
00:42:31,714 --> 00:42:34,173
Don't think about how far it is.
666
00:42:34,174 --> 00:42:35,967
What we need is to establish
667
00:42:35,968 --> 00:42:39,012
a one-hour swingers club.
668
00:42:39,013 --> 00:42:41,264
One-hour swingers club?!
669
00:42:41,265 --> 00:42:43,808
Simple words that started filling me
670
00:42:43,809 --> 00:42:45,935
with hope and vision.
671
00:42:45,936 --> 00:42:48,354
Such a club would not only
be good for the economy,
672
00:42:48,355 --> 00:42:49,731
but also for the exchange of resources
673
00:42:49,732 --> 00:42:52,567
and cultures between the
North and the South.
674
00:42:52,568 --> 00:42:53,985
Being single
675
00:42:53,986 --> 00:42:55,820
with nothing holding me back,
676
00:42:55,821 --> 00:43:00,821
I decided this was a journey worth taking!
677
00:43:03,370 --> 00:43:08,370
This way.
678
00:43:23,390 --> 00:43:27,977
Sir? Over here.
679
00:43:27,978 --> 00:43:30,146
We already booked a sofa.
680
00:43:30,147 --> 00:43:31,355
So why are we standing over here?
681
00:43:31,356 --> 00:43:32,648
Since you got here a bit late,
682
00:43:32,649 --> 00:43:37,487
we had to give it to our
frequent customers.
683
00:43:37,488 --> 00:43:38,988
That sofa over there is clearly available.
684
00:43:38,989 --> 00:43:42,575
Same as you, late.
685
00:43:42,576 --> 00:43:43,868
Look, if you can scratch my back,
686
00:43:43,869 --> 00:43:45,536
I can scratch your back.
687
00:43:45,537 --> 00:43:48,831
- And what's that mean?
- See what you can do.
688
00:43:48,832 --> 00:43:49,957
If you would...
689
00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:54,958
Right this way.
690
00:43:58,050 --> 00:44:00,510
Here you are.
691
00:44:00,511 --> 00:44:01,719
Beer.
692
00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:06,720
Good. Two dozen to start, then.
693
00:44:06,850 --> 00:44:08,851
Are you kidding me?
694
00:44:08,852 --> 00:44:10,436
How can he do that!
695
00:44:10,437 --> 00:44:12,605
It's just not right.
696
00:44:12,606 --> 00:44:14,941
You can't pinch pennies
when you're out to have fun.
697
00:44:14,942 --> 00:44:19,942
Especially here.
698
00:44:21,907 --> 00:44:23,533
They're coming.
699
00:44:23,534 --> 00:44:28,534
Introduce yourselves.
700
00:44:29,039 --> 00:44:30,915
Hi, I'm Frankie.
701
00:44:30,916 --> 00:44:33,751
Hi, uh, Funky? I'm Dorothy.
702
00:44:33,752 --> 00:44:34,877
What? Dolphin?
703
00:44:34,878 --> 00:44:36,254
I'm Jeekalin.
704
00:44:36,255 --> 00:44:38,047
- Jeekalin...
- Yamade.
705
00:44:38,048 --> 00:44:39,382
"Yamade" is a name?
706
00:44:39,383 --> 00:44:41,300
Why not "Kimochi"?
707
00:44:41,301 --> 00:44:42,885
How about a drink? Beer?
708
00:44:42,886 --> 00:44:46,305
These were girls Jing picked up before.
709
00:44:46,306 --> 00:44:50,393
Frankly, they're not much to look at,
710
00:44:50,394 --> 00:44:53,229
with hair and makeup all about the same.
711
00:44:53,230 --> 00:44:56,816
And by the time I hit the toilet.
I couldn't tell one from the other.
712
00:44:56,817 --> 00:44:58,734
But those racks.
713
00:44:58,735 --> 00:45:01,237
They definitely left an impression.
714
00:45:01,238 --> 00:45:02,155
Is it the artificial bread,
the weight-loss pills,
715
00:45:02,156 --> 00:45:04,657
or the contaminated fish they eat
716
00:45:04,658 --> 00:45:07,618
that messes with their DNA?
717
00:45:07,619 --> 00:45:09,162
Most HK girls have tits
718
00:45:09,163 --> 00:45:11,873
you can barely pinch.
719
00:45:11,874 --> 00:45:12,999
But these boobs?
720
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,668
I just want to grab them!
721
00:45:15,669 --> 00:45:19,338
We're separated by just one river,
but what a difference!
722
00:45:19,339 --> 00:45:23,134
All I can say is,
"Different regions, different grapes."
723
00:45:23,135 --> 00:45:26,053
We're out of drinks. Waiter!
724
00:45:26,054 --> 00:45:28,347
Two bottles of Matisse
and a dozen green teas!
725
00:45:28,348 --> 00:45:30,016
One Long Island Iced Tea, Martini.
726
00:45:30,017 --> 00:45:32,810
They can hardly say their
own English names,
727
00:45:32,811 --> 00:45:35,855
but when it comes to
drinks, they might even
728
00:45:35,856 --> 00:45:37,940
be more accurate than native speakers.
729
00:45:37,941 --> 00:45:40,735
If they just used cocktails
730
00:45:40,736 --> 00:45:42,612
as their names
731
00:45:42,613 --> 00:45:43,821
they'd be much better off.
732
00:45:43,822 --> 00:45:46,157
It's my turn, ten!
733
00:45:46,158 --> 00:45:47,950
Let me play, come on...
734
00:45:47,951 --> 00:45:49,702
You asked for it!
735
00:45:49,703 --> 00:45:51,495
Ready... ten!
736
00:45:51,496 --> 00:45:52,246
Fifteen.
737
00:45:52,247 --> 00:45:53,206
My turn, ready?... ten!
738
00:45:53,207 --> 00:45:54,123
Fifteen.
739
00:45:54,124 --> 00:45:57,793
Ready... all open! Drink up!
740
00:45:57,794 --> 00:46:00,296
Why play with her when she always loses?
741
00:46:00,297 --> 00:46:01,589
Let's play in a group.
742
00:46:01,590 --> 00:46:05,468
Drink up! You lost again!
743
00:46:05,469 --> 00:46:06,636
So arrogant.
744
00:46:06,637 --> 00:46:09,305
Yeah. What of it?
745
00:46:09,306 --> 00:46:12,725
Keep drinking.
746
00:46:12,726 --> 00:46:14,143
Hey, Jeekalin,
747
00:46:14,144 --> 00:46:16,896
I think you should change your name
to Black Russian.
748
00:46:16,897 --> 00:46:18,731
Then it would actually sound
right when you say it.
749
00:46:18,732 --> 00:46:21,234
What? Don't be stupid.
750
00:46:21,235 --> 00:46:22,568
Let's go "dang-sing."
751
00:46:22,569 --> 00:46:27,569
Yeah, he's crazy.
752
00:46:30,702 --> 00:46:32,536
Seriously,
753
00:46:32,537 --> 00:46:35,998
I'm fine if your chicks want to
fill up the table with drinks.
754
00:46:35,999 --> 00:46:37,708
But do they think we're fools?
755
00:46:37,709 --> 00:46:38,918
That this is some kind of open bar
756
00:46:38,919 --> 00:46:40,211
for wine-tasting?
757
00:46:40,212 --> 00:46:42,672
Remember: When you're out to play,
you're only out to play.
758
00:46:42,673 --> 00:46:43,256
What's that supposed to mean?
759
00:46:43,257 --> 00:46:47,677
I never ask the girl's number
when I get a happy ending massage.
760
00:46:47,678 --> 00:46:49,428
When downloading porn,
761
00:46:49,429 --> 00:46:51,472
I delete it as soon as I've watched it.
762
00:46:51,473 --> 00:46:54,433
Think about what I'm telling you.
763
00:46:54,434 --> 00:46:56,852
Jing is really quite reckless.
764
00:46:56,853 --> 00:47:01,190
He treats emotions as carelessly
as he spends money.
765
00:47:01,191 --> 00:47:06,191
Could it be that I have
something to learn from him?
766
00:47:16,540 --> 00:47:19,041
Zeta: Be strong (: P)
767
00:47:19,042 --> 00:47:21,794
You can't worry so much when you're out.
768
00:47:21,795 --> 00:47:25,047
How else can you forget the past.
769
00:47:25,048 --> 00:47:27,174
I had no response for that.
770
00:47:27,175 --> 00:47:29,218
A seasoned veteran with
years of experience,
771
00:47:29,219 --> 00:47:33,681
Jing knew me better than ever before.
772
00:47:33,682 --> 00:47:36,767
Who would bring a Polaroid to a disco?
773
00:47:36,768 --> 00:47:39,353
They had me thinking that the photographer
774
00:47:39,354 --> 00:47:41,105
Yasumasa Yonehara was here.
775
00:47:41,106 --> 00:47:44,859
But a closer look revealed Hong Kong guys
776
00:47:44,860 --> 00:47:47,194
with less than discerning taste.
777
00:47:47,195 --> 00:47:49,822
The way they were holding those dogs
778
00:47:49,823 --> 00:47:51,574
reminded me of economist
779
00:47:51,575 --> 00:47:53,242
Paul Samuelson's theory of Happiness
780
00:47:53,243 --> 00:47:55,995
equaling Utility divided by Desire.
781
00:47:55,996 --> 00:47:57,788
Did I just have my sights set too high?
782
00:47:57,789 --> 00:48:00,583
Or must I lower my standards when I'm out
783
00:48:00,584 --> 00:48:03,544
in order to be happy?
784
00:48:03,545 --> 00:48:07,798
I believe in you.
785
00:48:07,799 --> 00:48:11,510
Have patience and you'll get there.
786
00:48:11,511 --> 00:48:12,887
This snide remark
787
00:48:12,888 --> 00:48:15,514
was the second time I wanted to hit Jing.
788
00:48:15,515 --> 00:48:18,809
The first time was after going camping.
789
00:48:18,810 --> 00:48:22,396
But as a long time Arsenal fan,
790
00:48:22,397 --> 00:48:25,858
I'd long learned to have patience.
791
00:48:25,859 --> 00:48:28,402
After that time, we went up to Shenzhen
792
00:48:28,403 --> 00:48:31,447
nearly every week to have fun.
793
00:48:31,448 --> 00:48:33,866
But in all actuality,
794
00:48:33,867 --> 00:48:38,867
we were going up for nothing.
795
00:48:41,166 --> 00:48:45,586
That Saturday, Jing and I went up again.
796
00:48:45,587 --> 00:48:49,048
It was raining cats and dogs that night,
797
00:48:49,049 --> 00:48:54,049
a night I'll never forget.
798
00:49:04,398 --> 00:49:09,398
During those months, I realized that
799
00:49:09,611 --> 00:49:12,696
the disco was a very straightforward place.
800
00:49:12,697 --> 00:49:17,660
No matter if you were looking
for a one night stand,
801
00:49:17,661 --> 00:49:22,415
if you're giving or getting, it's the same.
802
00:49:22,416 --> 00:49:25,209
There's no beating about the bush.
803
00:49:25,210 --> 00:49:30,210
Unlike trying to get a normal girl.
804
00:49:38,306 --> 00:49:40,516
Ever heard of the five-second rule?
805
00:49:40,517 --> 00:49:41,767
It means that if two strangers
806
00:49:41,768 --> 00:49:43,978
exchange a look for more than five seconds,
807
00:49:43,979 --> 00:49:46,897
something important is going to happen.
808
00:49:46,898 --> 00:49:50,067
Of course, you have to be smart
about the other person,
809
00:49:50,068 --> 00:49:54,071
or else you could be in for a beating.
810
00:49:54,072 --> 00:49:56,657
The magic of her gaze
could have pulled me in,
811
00:49:56,658 --> 00:50:00,202
regardless of a beat-down.
812
00:50:00,203 --> 00:50:03,622
And just when I couldn't come up
with a good ice-breaker...
813
00:50:03,623 --> 00:50:06,375
Can I come to your table?
814
00:50:06,376 --> 00:50:08,294
Absolutely...
815
00:50:08,295 --> 00:50:13,295
I mean, sure you can.
816
00:50:16,052 --> 00:50:17,344
Are you all right?
817
00:50:17,345 --> 00:50:22,345
I'm fine.
818
00:50:33,111 --> 00:50:34,570
Am I... intruding here?
819
00:50:34,571 --> 00:50:35,905
No.
820
00:50:35,906 --> 00:50:39,825
Go on, don't worry about us.
821
00:50:39,826 --> 00:50:42,203
I don't usually come here,
822
00:50:42,204 --> 00:50:44,246
so I'm a little out of place.
823
00:50:44,247 --> 00:50:47,291
My friend had me come out
to keep her company,
824
00:50:47,292 --> 00:50:48,709
but she's not here, yet.
825
00:50:48,710 --> 00:50:50,294
Oh, I see.
826
00:50:50,295 --> 00:50:53,714
If you told me you were a virgin,
I'd still believe you!
827
00:50:53,715 --> 00:50:55,257
Oh, I still haven't introduced myself.
828
00:50:55,258 --> 00:50:56,550
My name is Frankie.
829
00:50:56,551 --> 00:50:59,970
My name is Fish, you know,
the swimming kind...
830
00:50:59,971 --> 00:51:03,432
Fish, such a cute name. It suits you.
831
00:51:03,433 --> 00:51:06,769
Who uses a name like Fish these days?
832
00:51:06,770 --> 00:51:11,770
Idiotic, really.
833
00:51:11,858 --> 00:51:16,858
Cheers!
834
00:51:27,582 --> 00:51:30,459
Actually, my friend had a breakup today.
835
00:51:30,460 --> 00:51:34,630
She called me over to keep her company.
836
00:51:34,631 --> 00:51:36,549
So here I am.
837
00:51:36,550 --> 00:51:39,468
But it's no fun here.
838
00:51:39,469 --> 00:51:42,763
Some friend, leaving you hanging this way.
839
00:51:42,764 --> 00:51:45,474
But don't worry. I can take her place.
840
00:51:45,475 --> 00:51:47,726
What kind of work do you do?
841
00:51:47,727 --> 00:51:49,520
I'm in sales.
842
00:51:49,521 --> 00:51:51,981
After drinking and talking,
843
00:51:51,982 --> 00:51:53,649
Turns out she's from the countryside, but
844
00:51:53,650 --> 00:51:55,776
has been in Shenzhen for a few years.
845
00:51:55,777 --> 00:51:58,028
She opened up a boutique with a friend
846
00:51:58,029 --> 00:52:01,824
and came here after work to meet her.
847
00:52:01,825 --> 00:52:04,451
I really should thank her friend
848
00:52:04,452 --> 00:52:09,415
for her breakup and being late.
849
00:52:09,416 --> 00:52:10,958
You're out on a Saturday night.
850
00:52:10,959 --> 00:52:15,959
Doesn't your boyfriend mind?
851
00:52:20,093 --> 00:52:21,844
Actually...
852
00:52:21,845 --> 00:52:25,598
There's no friend with a breakup.
I'm the one who got dumped.
853
00:52:25,599 --> 00:52:30,599
I'm really, really, really upset. So...
854
00:52:30,854 --> 00:52:33,439
Could you keep me company tonight?
855
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:36,525
At first, I had doubts if the four words
856
00:52:36,526 --> 00:52:41,526
"keep me company tonight" meant
what I thought she was hinting at.
857
00:52:46,161 --> 00:52:49,913
Actually, I don't really like it here.
858
00:52:49,914 --> 00:52:52,875
But her body language...
859
00:52:52,876 --> 00:52:55,461
How about we go back to my place?
860
00:52:55,462 --> 00:52:57,671
Reassured me.
861
00:52:57,672 --> 00:53:01,925
Won't it be inconvenient
or a bother to your family?
862
00:53:01,926 --> 00:53:04,637
I live alone.
863
00:53:04,638 --> 00:53:09,638
You can stay with me tonight.
864
00:53:10,352 --> 00:53:12,561
Sometimes it's hard to believe
when Luck knocks on your door.
865
00:53:12,562 --> 00:53:14,980
I could still hardly believe it myself.
866
00:53:14,981 --> 00:53:16,857
In that situation,
867
00:53:16,858 --> 00:53:19,109
how could I refuse?
868
00:53:19,110 --> 00:53:21,654
Sol made a quick decision.
869
00:53:21,655 --> 00:53:26,655
Then let's go.
870
00:53:27,952 --> 00:53:30,412
Hey, was that Lucy Liu?
871
00:53:30,413 --> 00:53:31,455
What? Really?
872
00:53:31,456 --> 00:53:33,749
Stupid, she looks more like Maggie Q!
873
00:53:33,750 --> 00:53:38,420
I said you'd get there.
874
00:53:38,421 --> 00:53:40,464
Congratulations.
You got what you'd been waiting for.
875
00:53:40,465 --> 00:53:45,465
Drive that cue home!
876
00:53:46,346 --> 00:53:48,472
Though I wasn't sure why people talk about
877
00:53:48,473 --> 00:53:50,933
a "cue" when describing sex,
878
00:53:50,934 --> 00:53:53,060
I was confident that my cue was going to be
879
00:53:53,061 --> 00:53:58,061
able to clear the table that night.
880
00:54:00,485 --> 00:54:02,903
Sorry, it's been a while
since I've cleaned,
881
00:54:02,904 --> 00:54:07,904
so it's a little messy.
Hope you don't mind.
882
00:54:08,785 --> 00:54:13,785
That's fine. Might get messier later.
883
00:54:14,624 --> 00:54:15,249
What was that?
884
00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:17,626
Oh, I said it's not bad, that's all.
885
00:54:17,627 --> 00:54:22,627
I'd be better off if you
did me now, instead!
886
00:54:24,801 --> 00:54:27,761
Your place is quite comfy.
887
00:54:27,762 --> 00:54:32,349
Yeah, I really like it here,
888
00:54:32,350 --> 00:54:36,645
but I might need to move soon.
889
00:54:36,646 --> 00:54:40,065
Why is that?
890
00:54:40,066 --> 00:54:45,066
I may not be able to afford the rent soon.
891
00:54:46,281 --> 00:54:51,281
Do you think you could help out
892
00:54:52,287 --> 00:54:55,831
and share it with me?
893
00:54:55,832 --> 00:55:00,832
We've only just met.
894
00:55:01,171 --> 00:55:03,297
Be my boyfriend,
895
00:55:03,298 --> 00:55:08,298
then we could live together.
Wouldn't that be great?
896
00:55:08,386 --> 00:55:13,386
What do you say?
897
00:55:22,650 --> 00:55:25,819
I really need someone to take care of me,
898
00:55:25,820 --> 00:55:28,614
because I'm broke.
899
00:55:28,615 --> 00:55:33,535
Two thousand. Just two thousand a month.
900
00:55:33,536 --> 00:55:34,411
Please say yes.
901
00:55:34,412 --> 00:55:36,163
Are you joking?
902
00:55:36,164 --> 00:55:39,124
Fish was likely out looking for a
903
00:55:39,125 --> 00:55:41,668
horny Hong Kong guy for emergency funds.
904
00:55:41,669 --> 00:55:44,505
If I paid her, she'd be my mistress.
905
00:55:44,506 --> 00:55:46,381
And I'm probably
906
00:55:46,382 --> 00:55:47,716
not the only one!
907
00:55:47,717 --> 00:55:49,635
Wouldn't I have to share her around?
908
00:55:49,636 --> 00:55:51,261
It's just too nasty.
909
00:55:51,262 --> 00:55:52,596
I couldn't stand that.
910
00:55:52,597 --> 00:55:56,308
Remember; When you're out to play,
you are only out to play.
911
00:55:56,309 --> 00:56:00,103
I will really like you and
treat you really well.
912
00:56:00,104 --> 00:56:02,481
I have a high-level, Western education.
913
00:56:02,482 --> 00:56:07,277
I cannot let myself be easily
taken down by her charm.
914
00:56:07,278 --> 00:56:12,278
Stop it. Please control yourself!
915
00:56:14,077 --> 00:56:17,162
Dammit! Is it even humanly possible
916
00:56:17,163 --> 00:56:18,497
to push her away?
917
00:56:18,498 --> 00:56:21,500
How could I face myself?
918
00:56:21,501 --> 00:56:24,503
We'd only known each
other a couple of hours.
919
00:56:24,504 --> 00:56:27,256
If I'm not her only guy,
920
00:56:27,257 --> 00:56:30,175
isn't this kissing really gross?
921
00:56:30,176 --> 00:56:32,594
But aren't spoons licked by
922
00:56:32,595 --> 00:56:34,930
different restaurant
customers all the time?
923
00:56:34,931 --> 00:56:37,099
Everyone uses it, no one seems to mind.
924
00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:39,810
Besides, what I'm enjoying right now
925
00:56:39,811 --> 00:56:42,396
is the soft tongue of a beautiful girl!
926
00:56:42,397 --> 00:56:45,148
Why the hell am I still thinking?
What's two grand?
927
00:56:45,149 --> 00:56:48,193
I pay that much to the
government every month.
928
00:56:48,194 --> 00:56:50,237
Are they going to French me?
929
00:56:50,238 --> 00:56:52,030
If I'm paying two grand to get bent over
930
00:56:52,031 --> 00:56:54,575
why not pay that to bend someone else over!
931
00:56:54,576 --> 00:56:57,286
At least it will even out my stress.
932
00:56:57,287 --> 00:56:58,328
Okay.
933
00:56:58,329 --> 00:56:59,788
Huh?
934
00:56:59,789 --> 00:57:04,789
Okay. I'll pay you. We'll live together.
935
00:57:22,937 --> 00:57:24,688
What's wrong?
936
00:57:24,689 --> 00:57:29,689
Nothing.
937
00:58:07,231 --> 00:58:08,857
I just had them done in Shenzhen.
938
00:58:08,858 --> 00:58:10,901
The doctor said they'll eventually
soften back to normal.
939
00:58:10,902 --> 00:58:11,860
Soften back to normal?
940
00:58:11,861 --> 00:58:13,612
I'm back to normal down there already!
941
00:58:13,613 --> 00:58:16,865
I've grabbed big tits
and I've groped small HK tits.
942
00:58:16,866 --> 00:58:20,035
But I have never felt a pair
of tits as hard as these.
943
00:58:20,036 --> 00:58:21,119
Why?
944
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,537
Why would I be so ignorant to think that
945
00:58:22,538 --> 00:58:24,873
all breasts should be soft?
946
00:58:24,874 --> 00:58:26,166
It's like saying
947
00:58:26,167 --> 00:58:28,251
hot dogs
948
00:58:28,252 --> 00:58:29,586
actually contain dog meat.
949
00:58:29,587 --> 00:58:32,047
I can take drinking fake booze.
950
00:58:32,048 --> 00:58:35,217
I can take Liu Xiang's fake fall,
951
00:58:35,218 --> 00:58:37,010
but I'm not on the national badminton team.
952
00:58:37,011 --> 00:58:39,388
So why fake it with me?
953
00:58:39,389 --> 00:58:44,389
Why is everything here so fake? Why?!
954
00:58:50,984 --> 00:58:55,984
Why? Why play this fake shit on me?
955
00:58:56,572 --> 00:58:59,199
Tits don't have to be real.
956
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,327
Don't let yourself get thrown so easily.
957
00:59:02,328 --> 00:59:05,080
Besides, if you've never held fake ones,
958
00:59:05,081 --> 00:59:07,833
how would you know how
great the real ones feel?
959
00:59:07,834 --> 00:59:10,085
I'm never fucking coming back here!
960
00:59:10,086 --> 00:59:15,086
You really not coming back?
961
00:59:15,299 --> 00:59:20,299
Arrrh.
962
00:59:20,638 --> 00:59:24,516
Sir, your health is bad,
particularly your kidneys.
963
00:59:24,517 --> 00:59:26,810
That's why we're out,
to release some toxins!
964
00:59:26,811 --> 00:59:28,770
Look at your friend.
965
00:59:28,771 --> 00:59:31,648
So healthy, he doesn't fuss at all.
966
00:59:31,649 --> 00:59:36,194
I... I told you. I'm not going back!
967
00:59:36,195 --> 00:59:41,195
We also provide after-hours services.
968
00:59:42,702 --> 00:59:47,205
In your current state,
you have to take something special.
969
00:59:47,206 --> 00:59:50,250
Trust me. Come back up one more time.
970
00:59:50,251 --> 00:59:53,128
This is the first time
Jing ever looked straight at me.
971
00:59:53,129 --> 00:59:55,422
I could really feel the amount of concern
972
00:59:55,423 --> 00:59:57,591
he had for me in his eyes.
973
00:59:57,592 --> 01:00:00,761
I'll only go for a look. Only a look.
No messing around!
974
01:00:00,762 --> 01:00:03,972
Tomorrow night. Seven o'clock!
975
01:00:03,973 --> 01:00:07,225
What I really wanted, wasn't
girls up on the mainland.
976
01:00:07,226 --> 01:00:08,185
It was...
977
01:00:08,186 --> 01:00:13,186
Frankie, help me back up my phone.
978
01:00:28,122 --> 01:00:33,122
Hello?
979
01:00:34,587 --> 01:00:37,339
Sorry, baby.
980
01:00:37,340 --> 01:00:38,632
All my friends
981
01:00:38,633 --> 01:00:40,467
said that
982
01:00:40,468 --> 01:00:42,260
I know what the problem is.
983
01:00:42,261 --> 01:00:44,930
I'll change. Don't be mad at me.
984
01:00:44,931 --> 01:00:47,849
Zeta's words moved me.
985
01:00:47,850 --> 01:00:50,644
Actually, Hong Kong girls
can be reasonable.
986
01:00:50,645 --> 01:00:51,853
Is this for me?
987
01:00:51,854 --> 01:00:56,854
Kind of.
988
01:01:01,197 --> 01:01:03,573
Do you like it?
989
01:01:03,574 --> 01:01:04,950
Of course.
990
01:01:04,951 --> 01:01:08,036
Shall I put it on for you?
991
01:01:08,037 --> 01:01:11,039
I'd better go shower first.
992
01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:14,126
You'll go shower first?
993
01:01:14,127 --> 01:01:19,127
Somebody already showered
while waiting for you.
994
01:01:32,436 --> 01:01:36,231
Buddha said: Unless you forgive and pardon
all living things,
995
01:01:36,232 --> 01:01:38,233
it is you who will suffer the most.
996
01:01:38,234 --> 01:01:39,526
I fully agree!
997
01:01:39,527 --> 01:01:41,194
Over the past two months, not only
998
01:01:41,195 --> 01:01:43,280
had I gone through so much, but
999
01:01:43,281 --> 01:01:45,490
I've put my "little friend" through worse.
1000
01:01:45,491 --> 01:01:49,244
Really making love can't be replaced
by one-night stands.
1001
01:01:49,245 --> 01:01:52,330
So when Zeta put her best foot forward
1002
01:01:52,331 --> 01:01:55,876
and showed me her new sexy lingerie,
1003
01:01:55,877 --> 01:02:00,877
I had nothing to say and
forgave her immediately.
1004
01:02:07,430 --> 01:02:11,600
Everything was fine, so
why turn out the lights?
1005
01:02:11,601 --> 01:02:13,768
Well, somebody's a little shy.
1006
01:02:13,769 --> 01:02:16,146
Give me a little time to change, okay?
1007
01:02:16,147 --> 01:02:18,523
Okay.
1008
01:02:18,524 --> 01:02:20,275
I've got good news.
1009
01:02:20,276 --> 01:02:22,194
Today is my lunar birthday.
1010
01:02:22,195 --> 01:02:23,612
Huh?
1011
01:02:23,613 --> 01:02:26,072
I want to celebrate it with you.
1012
01:02:26,073 --> 01:02:29,367
I'll let you kiss me here...
1013
01:02:29,368 --> 01:02:31,119
for ten seconds!
1014
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,287
Aren't you thrilled?
1015
01:02:32,288 --> 01:02:33,496
Thrilled?!
1016
01:02:33,497 --> 01:02:35,248
I really don't understand
why you resist so much
1017
01:02:35,249 --> 01:02:36,791
and never let me kiss you there.
1018
01:02:36,792 --> 01:02:39,461
After we made out the first time,
I Googled your sickness
1019
01:02:39,462 --> 01:02:42,422
and found no such thing
as an allergy to saliva!
1020
01:02:42,423 --> 01:02:44,716
It's because... I'm ticklish.
1021
01:02:44,717 --> 01:02:49,221
There's a first time for everything.
You'll get used to it.
1022
01:02:49,222 --> 01:02:52,307
Nipple kissing isn't exactly
a requisite when making love.
1023
01:02:52,308 --> 01:02:55,310
Neither is how long one kisses,
or other such things.
1024
01:02:55,311 --> 01:02:58,480
What matters is mutual
acceptance and tolerance.
1025
01:02:58,481 --> 01:03:01,650
So, out of Love, I
resolved to tolerate Zeta
1026
01:03:01,651 --> 01:03:06,651
and give her a chance to change.
1027
01:03:08,616 --> 01:03:10,158
Okay.
1028
01:03:10,159 --> 01:03:15,159
Don't be like that. I disinfected
to make you feel safer.
1029
01:03:15,790 --> 01:03:20,335
What the?! Bitter? Ah, whatever...
1030
01:03:20,336 --> 01:03:22,212
10... 9... 8... 7...
1031
01:03:22,213 --> 01:03:24,047
3...2..1...!
1032
01:03:24,048 --> 01:03:26,508
Wait...
1033
01:03:26,509 --> 01:03:31,509
Let me wipe again.
1034
01:03:39,772 --> 01:03:41,189
You think I'm a whore?
1035
01:03:41,190 --> 01:03:44,025
People keep making the same mistakes,
1036
01:03:44,026 --> 01:03:45,944
never learning from them.
1037
01:03:45,945 --> 01:03:47,904
Besides Zeta, there's also my Dad.
1038
01:03:47,905 --> 01:03:48,780
Dad.
1039
01:03:48,781 --> 01:03:50,824
Have you finished with my phone yet?
1040
01:03:50,825 --> 01:03:53,576
I'm tired. I'll do it tomorrow.
1041
01:03:53,577 --> 01:03:56,288
I have to go back to the mountains
in the morning for charity work.
1042
01:03:56,289 --> 01:03:58,873
Hurry up and do it,
1043
01:03:58,874 --> 01:04:03,874
or else I'll be in trouble
when your mom gets back.
1044
01:04:04,588 --> 01:04:09,588
Come on, just do it!
1045
01:04:57,725 --> 01:05:00,643
I finally understood why dad always had me
1046
01:05:00,644 --> 01:05:03,813
backup his phone before mom got home.
1047
01:05:03,814 --> 01:05:07,025
No one would have guessed
that my Dad was the
1048
01:05:07,026 --> 01:05:10,445
very same "Hypocritic"
that James so revered.
1049
01:05:10,446 --> 01:05:13,406
He certainly picked the right name.
1050
01:05:13,407 --> 01:05:16,409
Truly every bit, 100% a hypocrite.
1051
01:05:16,410 --> 01:05:18,787
That Shiu family and
their perverted movies,
1052
01:05:18,788 --> 01:05:22,916
even doing them in 3D. Totally indecent!
1053
01:05:22,917 --> 01:05:25,168
Worse, they even promoted the film at the.
1054
01:05:25,169 --> 01:05:28,088
Lunar New Year Fair last year,
1055
01:05:28,089 --> 01:05:29,756
along with other obscene articles.
1056
01:05:29,757 --> 01:05:31,383
It's too bad I have to leave tomorrow,
1057
01:05:31,384 --> 01:05:34,135
or else I'd file a complaint
with the Obscene Articles Bureau.
1058
01:05:34,136 --> 01:05:35,637
So dirty and perverted!
1059
01:05:35,638 --> 01:05:37,722
There has been a water shortage
in those areas lately,
1060
01:05:37,723 --> 01:05:39,432
All opposed?
1061
01:05:39,433 --> 01:05:42,018
Daddy, if you would
please put this in the minutes.
1062
01:05:42,019 --> 01:05:43,436
I have to go back to the mountains
in the morning for charity work.
1063
01:05:43,437 --> 01:05:46,689
Come on, just do it!
1064
01:05:46,690 --> 01:05:49,776
Honey, have you been busy
at the school lately?
1065
01:05:49,777 --> 01:05:53,655
Of course. Miss Lee is on leave.
1066
01:05:53,656 --> 01:05:57,158
Here's your "obscene articles!"
1067
01:05:57,159 --> 01:06:02,159
Frankie! What's wrong, Frankie?
1068
01:08:00,824 --> 01:08:03,243
Didn't you say 36 had a big rack? Not even!
1069
01:08:03,244 --> 01:08:06,621
Me? Dammit, the 36 I had last time.
1070
01:08:06,622 --> 01:08:09,207
Actually had a set of 36s!
1071
01:08:09,208 --> 01:08:12,085
I'm heading back to get some more of her.
1072
01:08:12,086 --> 01:08:14,879
The hell? The chicks weren't hot?
1073
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,297
There weren't? Impossible!
1074
01:08:16,298 --> 01:08:18,758
But that's the Golden Light Sauna.
1075
01:08:18,759 --> 01:08:20,218
What? The Golden Lion?
1076
01:08:20,219 --> 01:08:20,969
You fucking think they're all the same?
1077
01:08:20,970 --> 01:08:22,971
How many johns
1078
01:08:22,972 --> 01:08:24,764
take the train up every day?
1079
01:08:24,765 --> 01:08:25,640
I don't know.
1080
01:08:25,641 --> 01:08:28,476
I just know I'm fast
turning into one of them.
1081
01:08:28,477 --> 01:08:30,520
I no longer have the right to judge them.
1082
01:08:30,521 --> 01:08:33,731
You can count my sexual experiences
1083
01:08:33,732 --> 01:08:35,316
on just three fingers.
1084
01:08:35,317 --> 01:08:37,944
But that number will become four
1085
01:08:37,945 --> 01:08:39,654
in just a few hours.
1086
01:08:39,655 --> 01:08:41,990
And if you count two
places past the decimal,
1087
01:08:41,991 --> 01:08:45,660
my hit rate sounds better, at 33.33%!
1088
01:08:45,661 --> 01:08:48,329
If I was an A-share stock in Shenzhen,
1089
01:08:48,330 --> 01:08:53,330
They'd have to halt my trades!
1090
01:08:58,841 --> 01:09:03,841
We're here.
1091
01:09:06,140 --> 01:09:06,889
Any blood tofu?
1092
01:09:06,890 --> 01:09:09,684
Just sold out.
1093
01:09:09,685 --> 01:09:11,269
Hey, dickhead!
1094
01:09:11,270 --> 01:09:12,312
I told you,
1095
01:09:12,313 --> 01:09:13,313
don't waste time picking up bitches!
1096
01:09:13,314 --> 01:09:15,315
Straight up get yourself a hooker
and call it a day.
1097
01:09:15,316 --> 01:09:16,441
You've made us all late.
1098
01:09:16,442 --> 01:09:17,275
So what now?
1099
01:09:17,276 --> 01:09:18,401
Now we wait for the van.
1100
01:09:18,402 --> 01:09:20,612
Let's get some food first.
I'm fucking starving!
1101
01:09:20,613 --> 01:09:22,530
I almost forget to mention,
1102
01:09:22,531 --> 01:09:25,325
James is no longer working with me.
1103
01:09:25,326 --> 01:09:27,285
He now takes care of his family-run factory
1104
01:09:27,286 --> 01:09:29,704
on the Mainland.
1105
01:09:29,705 --> 01:09:32,624
I remember that one time we went
to Macau for a business meeting.
1106
01:09:32,625 --> 01:09:36,169
After arrival, Susan had
me fix a report ASAP,
1107
01:09:36,170 --> 01:09:39,047
while James went out to take care
of some big clients.
1108
01:09:39,048 --> 01:09:44,048
He was back before midnight,
already drunk off his ass.
1109
01:09:44,261 --> 01:09:46,846
They've got hookers over here.
1110
01:09:46,847 --> 01:09:50,266
You know what's the most important thing
to do in Macau?
1111
01:09:50,267 --> 01:09:52,894
Hello, Susan.
1112
01:09:52,895 --> 01:09:54,771
Nothing, I was busy.
1113
01:09:54,772 --> 01:09:56,105
Sure. You'll have it right away okay?
1114
01:09:56,106 --> 01:09:57,899
Real quick, another 5 to 'IO minutes.
1115
01:09:57,900 --> 01:10:02,900
Yes... Okay... Bye!
1116
01:10:03,989 --> 01:10:06,866
In Macau, you must get a hooker.
1117
01:10:06,867 --> 01:10:09,077
Otherwise, you'll be damned sorry.
1118
01:10:09,078 --> 01:10:12,246
And remember, no tipping, got it?
1119
01:10:12,247 --> 01:10:17,247
You got it?
1120
01:10:18,921 --> 01:10:23,921
Eh? There's already one ringing? Nice!
1121
01:10:26,136 --> 01:10:26,844
WOW!
1122
01:10:26,845 --> 01:10:29,430
Wow, what?
1123
01:10:29,431 --> 01:10:30,056
Where is Frankie?
1124
01:10:30,057 --> 01:10:31,516
He said he'd bring the document right over.
1125
01:10:31,517 --> 01:10:34,310
Sorry miss. You're not quite right for me.
1126
01:10:34,311 --> 01:10:37,355
Go back and tell your
manager I want an exchange!
1127
01:10:37,356 --> 01:10:38,314
What the fuck, man.
1128
01:10:38,315 --> 01:10:39,816
Now they got hookers looking like Susan!
1129
01:10:39,817 --> 01:10:41,609
- What're you talking about?
- A Susan hooker?!
1130
01:10:41,610 --> 01:10:43,194
- You think I'm a prostitute?
- How can you fuck that?
1131
01:10:43,195 --> 01:10:45,113
How dare you, James?
1132
01:10:45,114 --> 01:10:50,114
Damn you, get the fuck up!
1133
01:10:50,119 --> 01:10:52,245
You're fired!
1134
01:10:52,246 --> 01:10:53,413
After that night
1135
01:10:53,414 --> 01:10:55,331
I had one less colleague,
1136
01:10:55,332 --> 01:10:57,792
James had one less boot to lick,
1137
01:10:57,793 --> 01:11:00,461
and Susan finally learned the learned
1138
01:11:00,462 --> 01:11:02,630
that, "in wine there is truth."
1139
01:11:02,631 --> 01:11:07,631
WASHINGTON SAUNA
1140
01:11:13,100 --> 01:11:15,852
I'd seen this kind of look before.
1141
01:11:15,853 --> 01:11:18,271
In a documentary about
the Battle of Midway.
1142
01:11:18,272 --> 01:11:21,315
The tired but victorious American troops
returning to base
1143
01:11:21,316 --> 01:11:24,986
gave this kind of look to the men
1144
01:11:24,987 --> 01:11:26,988
heading out to relieve them,
1145
01:11:26,989 --> 01:11:31,989
passing on a sense of
hope and responsibility.
1146
01:11:52,598 --> 01:11:57,598
It's starting to rain. Hurry the hell up!
1147
01:12:04,151 --> 01:12:05,902
Okay, thanks.
1148
01:12:05,903 --> 01:12:08,321
Oh, great. It's fucking late now.
1149
01:12:08,322 --> 01:12:10,865
So if we're late they run out of chicks?
1150
01:12:10,866 --> 01:12:12,158
No, you don't fucking have to worry.
1151
01:12:12,159 --> 01:12:13,910
I just called Jackie the manager
1152
01:12:13,911 --> 01:12:15,828
to hold some back for us.
1153
01:12:15,829 --> 01:12:18,623
Otherwise, we'd be picking
from the rubbish pile.
1154
01:12:18,624 --> 01:12:21,167
Oh, right, what did you tell Zeta
1155
01:12:21,168 --> 01:12:23,669
that let you sneak out?
1156
01:12:23,670 --> 01:12:26,631
Zeta isn't like she was before.
1157
01:12:26,632 --> 01:12:28,174
And after crossing the border,
1158
01:12:28,175 --> 01:12:30,885
I'm like a new man myself.
1159
01:12:30,886 --> 01:12:34,055
Huh? What the hell are you babbling about?
1160
01:12:34,056 --> 01:12:35,264
Forget it.
1161
01:12:35,265 --> 01:12:37,266
First, let me give you a word of warning.
1162
01:12:37,267 --> 01:12:38,893
If you see someone picking out
1163
01:12:38,894 --> 01:12:40,770
a totally hideous broad,
1164
01:12:40,771 --> 01:12:42,522
don't you dare laugh.
1165
01:12:42,523 --> 01:12:45,483
You know, "Beauty is in
the eye of the beholder"
1166
01:12:45,484 --> 01:12:47,693
I've seen it happen a lot.
1167
01:12:47,694 --> 01:12:52,694
Oh.
1168
01:13:11,510 --> 01:13:14,554
Good evening, gentlemen.
1169
01:13:14,555 --> 01:13:16,305
Gentlemen, how may I address you?
1170
01:13:16,306 --> 01:13:17,849
- Mr. James.
- Mr. James.
1171
01:13:17,850 --> 01:13:19,392
- Wong.
- Mr. Wong.
1172
01:13:19,393 --> 01:13:20,685
- Mr. Frankie.
- Frankie.
1173
01:13:20,686 --> 01:13:22,061
Have any of our managers helped you before?
1174
01:13:22,062 --> 01:13:25,982
No, but I'd called and spoke to a Jackie.
1175
01:13:25,983 --> 01:13:28,234
Jackie? Well that's me.
1176
01:13:28,235 --> 01:13:31,612
So you're the gentleman who called earlier.
1177
01:13:31,613 --> 01:13:32,905
You're Jackie?
1178
01:13:32,906 --> 01:13:34,949
But your name tag says "To man".
1179
01:13:34,950 --> 01:13:38,077
Well, it's kind of complicated.
1180
01:13:38,078 --> 01:13:41,455
"To Man Chet" is of course the real name
of the actor Chapman To.
1181
01:13:41,456 --> 01:13:42,623
And since my name sounds so similar,
1182
01:13:42,624 --> 01:13:43,958
people called me Chapman, then Chap,
1183
01:13:43,959 --> 01:13:45,042
then Jack and finally Jackie.
1184
01:13:45,043 --> 01:13:47,128
So you can call me Jackie, as well!
1185
01:13:47,129 --> 01:13:49,839
Who the fuck cares?! Let's get this on!
1186
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:52,049
You three gents have arrived just in time
1187
01:13:52,050 --> 01:13:54,302
for our nightly "Flower Show".
1188
01:13:54,303 --> 01:13:55,511
What do you mean "Flower Show".
1189
01:13:55,512 --> 01:13:57,972
We have all available girls
1190
01:13:57,973 --> 01:13:59,098
gather around in the lobby
1191
01:13:59,099 --> 01:14:01,142
for you all to look over and pick.
1192
01:14:01,143 --> 01:14:04,520
This way.
1193
01:14:04,521 --> 01:14:07,231
Hurry, over here.
1194
01:14:07,232 --> 01:14:12,232
WOW!
1195
01:14:34,384 --> 01:14:35,551
What are you wow-ing?
1196
01:14:35,552 --> 01:14:40,181
Just fucking felt like it. So what?
1197
01:14:40,182 --> 01:14:45,182
These are definitely the best of the bunch.
1198
01:14:45,437 --> 01:14:46,312
Gents,
1199
01:14:46,313 --> 01:14:49,023
if you see one you like, just let me know.
1200
01:14:49,024 --> 01:14:50,524
Dammit!
1201
01:14:50,525 --> 01:14:52,526
You trying to steal my clients again?
1202
01:14:52,527 --> 01:14:54,487
Where did you hear that from?
1203
01:14:54,488 --> 01:14:58,199
I saw it with my own two eyes!
1204
01:14:58,200 --> 01:14:59,867
Jackie Chan?
1205
01:14:59,868 --> 01:15:00,868
Jackie Chan?
1206
01:15:00,869 --> 01:15:01,786
It's Jackie Chin.
1207
01:15:01,787 --> 01:15:02,703
That's right.
1208
01:15:02,704 --> 01:15:05,289
Who cares? It doesn't fucking matter!
1209
01:15:05,290 --> 01:15:06,499
I won't go into it with you all today.
1210
01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:07,583
But the fact is that these three
1211
01:15:07,584 --> 01:15:10,378
had just spoken to me on the phone
1212
01:15:10,379 --> 01:15:13,798
and asked to arrange a shuttle for them.
1213
01:15:13,799 --> 01:15:17,677
Which of you gentlemen is James?
1214
01:15:17,678 --> 01:15:18,844
You see?
1215
01:15:18,845 --> 01:15:21,138
You don't even know which one is Mr. James.
1216
01:15:21,139 --> 01:15:24,058
Anyone who answers to such a common name
is now your client? Bullshit!
1217
01:15:24,059 --> 01:15:25,810
Mr. James, you tell her.
1218
01:15:25,811 --> 01:15:28,312
Tell her you called me and not her.
1219
01:15:28,313 --> 01:15:31,232
Whom did you call earlier?
1220
01:15:31,233 --> 01:15:32,692
What? Well, I don't know...
1221
01:15:32,693 --> 01:15:34,819
You can't tell the difference between
a man's voice and a woman's?
1222
01:15:34,820 --> 01:15:35,653
What?
1223
01:15:35,654 --> 01:15:37,905
I was more worried about
reserving chicks for you two idiots,
1224
01:15:37,906 --> 01:15:39,031
What do I care who I was talking to?
1225
01:15:39,032 --> 01:15:40,074
You two work out your own problems
1226
01:15:40,075 --> 01:15:41,117
and stop getting in our way.
1227
01:15:41,118 --> 01:15:43,077
Hear that? Quit bothering my clients!
1228
01:15:43,078 --> 01:15:45,204
Is that so! You steal my clients and try
to turn this around on me!
1229
01:15:45,205 --> 01:15:46,038
Have you lost your mind?!
1230
01:15:46,039 --> 01:15:47,081
- What?!
- What.
1231
01:15:47,082 --> 01:15:49,375
Quit it, both of you! Go get your manager!
1232
01:15:49,376 --> 01:15:50,167
I am the manager!
1233
01:15:50,168 --> 01:15:53,254
There are three of us.
You each help one of us.
1234
01:15:53,255 --> 01:15:54,005
The third will get a girl from each of you.
1235
01:15:54,006 --> 01:15:56,757
You'll both have business, okay?
1236
01:15:56,758 --> 01:15:59,635
Great idea, I don't mind
being the third one.
1237
01:15:59,636 --> 01:16:03,222
I don't mind. The customer is always right.
1238
01:16:03,223 --> 01:16:05,057
You're just sucking up now, eh?
1239
01:16:05,058 --> 01:16:06,392
Think you can scare me?
1240
01:16:06,393 --> 01:16:09,186
I should be taking all of this.
1241
01:16:09,187 --> 01:16:11,397
But now you want me to split it?
You want to take half from me?
1242
01:16:11,398 --> 01:16:12,314
Dream on!
1243
01:16:12,315 --> 01:16:13,983
Say what you want, but don't poke me!
1244
01:16:13,984 --> 01:16:14,942
- What?!
- What?!
1245
01:16:14,943 --> 01:16:16,610
You don't think it's fair.
1246
01:16:16,611 --> 01:16:18,195
You say the customer is always right.
1247
01:16:18,196 --> 01:16:19,488
He always is.
1248
01:16:19,489 --> 01:16:20,448
How about
1249
01:16:20,449 --> 01:16:23,034
we pick based on
1250
01:16:23,035 --> 01:16:24,368
whoever gives the best pitch?
1251
01:16:24,369 --> 01:16:25,286
- Sure!
- Bring it on!
1252
01:16:25,287 --> 01:16:26,954
- Come...
- Stand straight..
1253
01:16:26,955 --> 01:16:30,624
Girls, meet the gentlemen.
1254
01:16:30,625 --> 01:16:32,168
Gentlemen, we welcome you here on your
1255
01:16:32,169 --> 01:16:35,129
first visit to Washington Sauna.
1256
01:16:35,130 --> 01:16:39,133
My girls are renowned for their supple,
creamy breasts.
1257
01:16:39,134 --> 01:16:40,676
A pleasure to play with.
1258
01:16:40,677 --> 01:16:44,305
Take a look at No. 36, whose chest
is at least a 36!
1259
01:16:44,306 --> 01:16:48,100
Her excellent service has won her
many frequent customers.
1260
01:16:48,101 --> 01:16:53,101
Come, jump a couple of times and show them.
1261
01:16:56,234 --> 01:16:58,819
Gentlemen, "excellent service"
is easy enough to say,
1262
01:16:58,820 --> 01:17:00,362
but check out No. 11.
1263
01:17:00,363 --> 01:17:02,490
She goes by "Boundless"
1264
01:17:02,491 --> 01:17:03,616
and is known for unreal blowjobs!
1265
01:17:03,617 --> 01:17:04,867
Not only is she pretty,
1266
01:17:04,868 --> 01:17:06,911
but there are so many
things you can do with her!
1267
01:17:06,912 --> 01:17:09,246
Aren't these tits something?
1268
01:17:09,247 --> 01:17:12,875
Sure, talk is cheap. But where's the proof?
1269
01:17:12,876 --> 01:17:16,670
You gents should have a
feel for yourselves first!
1270
01:17:16,671 --> 01:17:21,008
- Go ahead. Go grab whatever you like.
- That's really not necessary.
1271
01:17:21,009 --> 01:17:22,301
But aren't them firm?
1272
01:17:22,302 --> 01:17:27,302
Sir, look. Pink nipples!
1273
01:17:28,683 --> 01:17:30,101
I told you not to go tanning so much!
1274
01:17:30,102 --> 01:17:33,062
Get lost!
1275
01:17:33,063 --> 01:17:35,815
See, these ones are really pink.
1276
01:17:35,816 --> 01:17:37,775
Come on and have a feel!
1277
01:17:37,776 --> 01:17:40,194
Just grab them!
1278
01:17:40,195 --> 01:17:42,696
What's the big deal? Mine are pink, too!
1279
01:17:42,697 --> 01:17:43,656
Wait,
1280
01:17:43,657 --> 01:17:45,783
I meant my girls'!
1281
01:17:45,784 --> 01:17:47,535
If feeling them up isn't good enough,
1282
01:17:47,536 --> 01:17:50,204
suck on them! Come on and have a suck!
1283
01:17:50,205 --> 01:17:51,247
No, over here.
1284
01:17:51,248 --> 01:17:52,915
You just said hers were bouncy.
1285
01:17:52,916 --> 01:17:55,543
Here! These are pinker!
1286
01:17:55,544 --> 01:17:57,378
Suck on these, go on...
1287
01:17:57,379 --> 01:17:59,088
Jackie, your clients are here for you.
1288
01:17:59,089 --> 01:18:04,089
- Got it!
- They're here for me!
1289
01:18:06,930 --> 01:18:09,223
So how'd they feel?
1290
01:18:09,224 --> 01:18:10,516
Hard...
1291
01:18:10,517 --> 01:18:12,059
What "hard"?
1292
01:18:12,060 --> 01:18:13,644
Hard to tell.
1293
01:18:13,645 --> 01:18:17,439
Fuck! What a wasted chance!
Should've let me do it!
1294
01:18:17,440 --> 01:18:21,110
Don't get me wrong.
"Hard to tell" wasn't meant to be clever.
1295
01:18:21,111 --> 01:18:24,155
I was just too embarrassed to tell
1296
01:18:24,156 --> 01:18:29,156
any difference or even enjoy the fun.
1297
01:18:30,579 --> 01:18:33,998
This place isn't just a
metaphorical meat market.
1298
01:18:33,999 --> 01:18:36,000
These girls are marketed, picked and tested
1299
01:18:36,001 --> 01:18:39,420
like any ordinary produce.
1300
01:18:39,421 --> 01:18:41,755
People here, whether
guests, girls, or hosts,
1301
01:18:41,756 --> 01:18:46,756
lose all dignity as soon as they walk in.
1302
01:18:46,887 --> 01:18:51,887
Hey Jackie, remember to
put me down for 106.
1303
01:18:56,605 --> 01:18:58,189
If you see someone picking out
1304
01:18:58,190 --> 01:19:00,191
a totally hideous broad,
1305
01:19:00,192 --> 01:19:01,775
don't you dare laugh.
1306
01:19:01,776 --> 01:19:04,612
You know, "Beauty is in
the eye of the beholder"
1307
01:19:04,613 --> 01:19:09,491
I've seen it happen a lot.
1308
01:19:09,492 --> 01:19:12,953
Ugly trim is still trim.
Still better than doing it yourself.
1309
01:19:12,954 --> 01:19:17,954
To each his own. Leave him be.
1310
01:19:26,551 --> 01:19:31,551
No. 211, stand up.
1311
01:19:36,770 --> 01:19:38,312
You marked me for No. 106,
1312
01:19:38,313 --> 01:19:39,521
but if I see a better one, can I switch?
1313
01:19:39,522 --> 01:19:43,067
No problem. Change until you're satisfied.
1314
01:19:43,068 --> 01:19:45,152
But look, your two friends
1315
01:19:45,153 --> 01:19:46,654
still haven't picked any.
1316
01:19:46,655 --> 01:19:47,988
And if you come back after eating
1317
01:19:47,989 --> 01:19:50,741
the "Flower Show" will already be over.
1318
01:19:50,742 --> 01:19:51,659
Didn't expect to see such an elegant
1319
01:19:51,660 --> 01:19:53,661
and pure beauty here.
1320
01:19:53,662 --> 01:19:55,371
Look at her,
1321
01:19:55,372 --> 01:19:58,290
she probably even eats healthy.
1322
01:19:58,291 --> 01:19:59,166
Shit. If she ate healthy,
1323
01:19:59,167 --> 01:20:02,086
you think she'd stick yours
in her mouth? Dumbass.
1324
01:20:02,087 --> 01:20:05,464
Jackie, please put me down for No. 211.
1325
01:20:05,465 --> 01:20:07,841
Very good. Thank you.
1326
01:20:07,842 --> 01:20:12,842
Jing, you pick one?
1327
01:20:13,181 --> 01:20:15,307
Then let's go eat first
1328
01:20:15,308 --> 01:20:17,518
and pick again later.
1329
01:20:17,519 --> 01:20:22,519
This way please.
1330
01:20:25,652 --> 01:20:27,278
Know what you want?
1331
01:20:27,279 --> 01:20:31,115
If not, let's get some beers first.
1332
01:20:31,116 --> 01:20:33,367
Do you think they have Hoegaarden?
1333
01:20:33,368 --> 01:20:35,703
You're an idiot!
1334
01:20:35,704 --> 01:20:37,288
Waiter, give me two bottles of beer
1335
01:20:37,289 --> 01:20:42,289
with three glasses.
1336
01:20:44,713 --> 01:20:45,986
Hey, what are you
doing up here?
1337
01:20:46,012 --> 01:20:47,798
Just bringing up a
buddy to get broken in.
1338
01:20:47,799 --> 01:20:48,716
Virgin?
1339
01:20:48,717 --> 01:20:53,053
Yeah, over there.
1340
01:20:53,054 --> 01:20:56,515
He sure does look it.
1341
01:20:56,516 --> 01:20:58,726
Check out who I brought with me!
1342
01:20:58,727 --> 01:21:00,686
Frankie...
1343
01:21:00,687 --> 01:21:03,689
and you said you weren't one of us.
1344
01:21:03,690 --> 01:21:05,482
What a crock of shit!
1345
01:21:05,483 --> 01:21:09,069
I said it before. All cats eat fish.
1346
01:21:09,070 --> 01:21:10,404
And you have no idea how good
1347
01:21:10,405 --> 01:21:13,490
roast goose tastes until you've had it!
1348
01:21:13,491 --> 01:21:14,742
Alright, he knows now.
1349
01:21:14,743 --> 01:21:16,410
Stop teasing him. Have one with me.
1350
01:21:16,411 --> 01:21:18,412
Nah, I've already had a lot.
1351
01:21:18,413 --> 01:21:21,874
Oh yeah, how about we meet up here
and do a little performance review
1352
01:21:21,875 --> 01:21:23,959
over breakfast tomorrow?
1353
01:21:23,960 --> 01:21:27,504
Cool, no problem here. Ask him.
1354
01:21:27,505 --> 01:21:28,505
Okay.
1355
01:21:28,506 --> 01:21:32,259
Okay then, I won't get in the way
of your "roast goose".
1356
01:21:32,260 --> 01:21:34,386
See you tomorrow.
1357
01:21:34,387 --> 01:21:38,724
See you tomorrow.
1358
01:21:38,725 --> 01:21:41,894
What? Why are you looking at me like that?
1359
01:21:41,895 --> 01:21:44,104
What's so weird about running into
other guys here?
1360
01:21:44,105 --> 01:21:46,940
If you ran into chicks,
that would be trouble.
1361
01:21:46,941 --> 01:21:48,442
So you know what you want to eat, yet?
1362
01:21:48,443 --> 01:21:51,445
Didn't the waiter put out
a final call for roast goose?
1363
01:21:51,446 --> 01:21:56,446
Roast goose? Wasn't it the chicken pot?
1364
01:21:58,203 --> 01:22:03,203
You ready or not?
1365
01:22:04,042 --> 01:22:04,958
No.
1366
01:22:04,959 --> 01:22:09,421
Drink up, come on...
1367
01:22:09,422 --> 01:22:11,882
The beer in front of me is amber enough,
1368
01:22:11,883 --> 01:22:13,634
but it's so cloudy.
1369
01:22:13,635 --> 01:22:15,886
It's as unclear as the things in my life
1370
01:22:15,887 --> 01:22:18,055
that I actually have control over.
1371
01:22:18,056 --> 01:22:20,099
Right now, I feel so lost.
1372
01:22:20,100 --> 01:22:24,395
What the hell should I have?
1373
01:22:24,396 --> 01:22:29,396
Chicken pot, or braised mud carp?
1374
01:22:33,238 --> 01:22:35,489
Where're you going?
You haven't ordered a damned thing.
1375
01:22:35,490 --> 01:22:37,950
Egg and ham noodles are fine.
1376
01:22:37,951 --> 01:22:41,662
The toilet isn't over there.
1377
01:22:41,663 --> 01:22:43,497
Oh, uh, really?
1378
01:22:43,498 --> 01:22:47,042
Love unrestrained, and joy abounds.
1379
01:22:47,043 --> 01:22:51,255
Music reminds, of lovers since gone...
1380
01:22:51,256 --> 01:22:53,924
I just need to piss,
what's with the poetry?
1381
01:22:53,925 --> 01:22:56,009
And what are you doing out here, anyway?
1382
01:22:56,010 --> 01:22:59,138
Second thoughts are inevitable
1383
01:22:59,139 --> 01:23:02,057
when one is making up one's mind.
1384
01:23:02,058 --> 01:23:06,353
But I believe I made the right decision.
1385
01:23:06,354 --> 01:23:09,064
Decision? What decision?
1386
01:23:09,065 --> 01:23:11,024
Did you finally pick a girl?
1387
01:23:11,025 --> 01:23:15,279
Actually, I already saw
my Juliet back there.
1388
01:23:15,280 --> 01:23:16,447
No. 211?
1389
01:23:16,448 --> 01:23:20,367
Jackie, please put me down for No. 211.
1390
01:23:20,368 --> 01:23:22,411
Jing, you pick one?
1391
01:23:22,412 --> 01:23:25,038
Why didn't you mark her down back then?
1392
01:23:25,039 --> 01:23:28,625
Because you are in greater need.
1393
01:23:28,626 --> 01:23:31,628
Though two months younger than I,
1394
01:23:31,629 --> 01:23:34,465
Jing has always conceded everything to me.
1395
01:23:34,466 --> 01:23:37,718
Yet over the years,
I have never given him a single thing.
1396
01:23:37,719 --> 01:23:41,054
So this time I have decided that
I will yield this girl to him.
1397
01:23:41,055 --> 01:23:42,931
211 is all yours.
1398
01:23:42,932 --> 01:23:46,727
I know what you are thinking.
But if you go back now,
1399
01:23:46,728 --> 01:23:50,898
you will never forget the person
you want to forget.
1400
01:23:50,899 --> 01:23:53,692
Indeed. How could I have come all this way,
1401
01:23:53,693 --> 01:23:55,986
a three hour journey, picked out a girl,
1402
01:23:55,987 --> 01:23:59,573
only to turn around
and leave without doing a thing?
1403
01:23:59,574 --> 01:24:03,577
There is a deep truth to Jing's words.
1404
01:24:03,578 --> 01:24:05,287
It is no small miracle
1405
01:24:05,288 --> 01:24:08,081
for a friend to know me so well.
1406
01:24:08,082 --> 01:24:11,168
So I decided that tonight
1407
01:24:11,169 --> 01:24:14,505
I'd take No. 211 and go all out.
1408
01:24:14,506 --> 01:24:17,257
Hang on. A man should keep his word.
1409
01:24:17,258 --> 01:24:20,344
What the hell? Did he just read my mind?
1410
01:24:20,345 --> 01:24:22,721
It's late now. The "Flower Show" is over.
1411
01:24:22,722 --> 01:24:23,931
There are fewer girls now.
1412
01:24:23,932 --> 01:24:24,848
What?
1413
01:24:24,849 --> 01:24:27,518
Don't worry, I'll send them in in groups
1414
01:24:27,519 --> 01:24:28,602
for your selection.
1415
01:24:28,603 --> 01:24:30,521
I promise you'll find one you want.
1416
01:24:30,522 --> 01:24:31,522
Otherwise, just switch for another.
1417
01:24:31,523 --> 01:24:36,523
First come in, and I'll go arrange it.
1418
01:24:39,781 --> 01:24:41,281
Good evening, sir.
1419
01:24:41,282 --> 01:24:43,492
I am 128, from...
1420
01:24:43,493 --> 01:24:46,620
lam 708, from...
1421
01:24:46,621 --> 01:24:48,705
lam 303, from...
1422
01:24:48,706 --> 01:24:50,457
lam...
1423
01:24:50,458 --> 01:24:52,709
What the hell are they saying?
I didn't understand a word of it.
1424
01:24:52,710 --> 01:24:55,420
Who fucking cares? Just pick one!
1425
01:24:55,421 --> 01:24:56,713
Any you like?
1426
01:24:56,714 --> 01:24:59,967
Hurry up already and fucking pick anyone!
1427
01:24:59,968 --> 01:25:03,136
No.
1428
01:25:03,137 --> 01:25:08,137
Leave.
1429
01:25:08,977 --> 01:25:12,271
Really? Not a one?
1430
01:25:12,272 --> 01:25:14,106
There aren't many left out there.
1431
01:25:14,107 --> 01:25:17,985
This next round is
probably your last chance.
1432
01:25:17,986 --> 01:25:20,153
After this round,
1433
01:25:20,154 --> 01:25:21,488
if you still cannot decide,
1434
01:25:21,489 --> 01:25:22,864
there's nothing I can do.
1435
01:25:22,865 --> 01:25:24,825
Go. Set them up.
1436
01:25:24,826 --> 01:25:26,326
It's surprising that Jackie saying
1437
01:25:26,327 --> 01:25:28,203
this was my "last chance"
1438
01:25:28,204 --> 01:25:31,039
made me GVGH ITIOFG HGFVOUS.
1439
01:25:31,040 --> 01:25:34,459
If Jing hadn't held me back just
a few minutes ago,
1440
01:25:34,460 --> 01:25:36,795
I would already have been long gone.
1441
01:25:36,796 --> 01:25:38,213
Why is picking a girl
1442
01:25:38,214 --> 01:25:40,132
making me so uneasy?
1443
01:25:40,133 --> 01:25:42,968
Is it that I'm the same as my father
1444
01:25:42,969 --> 01:25:45,345
and have the DNA for being a john?
1445
01:25:45,346 --> 01:25:50,346
Good evening, sir.
1446
01:25:57,025 --> 01:26:01,862
I'm sorry. Wrong room...
1447
01:26:01,863 --> 01:26:04,531
- Go, leave.
- Congrats, you've finally grown up.
1448
01:26:04,532 --> 01:26:06,033
Gentlemen, I'll get your rooms set up.
1449
01:26:06,034 --> 01:26:11,034
Make it quick.
1450
01:26:13,541 --> 01:26:18,541
Remember, breakfast tomorrow, dickhead!
1451
01:26:23,384 --> 01:26:25,510
Come, let me take off your jacket.
1452
01:26:25,511 --> 01:26:28,555
Er, thanks.
1453
01:26:28,556 --> 01:26:33,556
You Hong Kong guys are so polite.
1454
01:26:45,782 --> 01:26:50,782
Wow, this chair is so cool!
It's like a Transformer!
1455
01:26:58,961 --> 01:27:02,339
This is a "Divine", I can serve you
1456
01:27:02,340 --> 01:27:04,758
on it later if you'd like.
1457
01:27:04,759 --> 01:27:08,428
A Divine? Andy Lau wasn't kidding.
1458
01:27:08,429 --> 01:27:12,099
I feel like a god in this.
1459
01:27:12,100 --> 01:27:13,892
For whatever "my body's specific need"
1460
01:27:13,893 --> 01:27:18,893
there is a "Human 3D massage" program.
1461
01:27:19,148 --> 01:27:21,817
Might be a security check. Let me go see.
1462
01:27:21,818 --> 01:27:26,818
Security check? Don't you mean a raid?
No fucking way!
1463
01:27:27,782 --> 01:27:29,866
Those words made my legs wobblier than
1464
01:27:29,867 --> 01:27:32,619
if I'd fucked non-stop for a week!
1465
01:27:32,620 --> 01:27:34,746
Hello, mum,
1466
01:27:34,747 --> 01:27:37,332
I've been a bad son and
got caught with a hooker!
1467
01:27:37,333 --> 01:27:38,458
I won't be home for dinner
for the next 15 days,
1468
01:27:38,459 --> 01:27:41,837
don't worry about me...
1469
01:27:41,838 --> 01:27:44,256
I need to hang up now, morn...
1470
01:27:44,257 --> 01:27:47,300
Why does shit keep happening to me?
1471
01:27:47,301 --> 01:27:49,469
Never mind the tail, my pants are still on
1472
01:27:49,470 --> 01:27:51,138
and I'm gonna be locked up for 15 days?!
1473
01:27:51,139 --> 01:27:55,976
Boss, I've been arrested
for soliciting a prostitute.
1474
01:27:55,977 --> 01:27:58,395
I'll have to take a two week leave...
1475
01:27:58,396 --> 01:28:00,439
Whatever, just remember
to take clients' calls
1476
01:28:00,440 --> 01:28:02,315
and reply to their emails.
1477
01:28:02,316 --> 01:28:03,358
Oh, okay...
1478
01:28:03,359 --> 01:28:05,569
Hey, buddy, let me borrow your phone.
1479
01:28:05,570 --> 01:28:08,488
I ran out of juice in the middle of a call.
1480
01:28:08,489 --> 01:28:11,908
It's you. Didn't you go
to the Golden Lion Sauna?
1481
01:28:11,909 --> 01:28:13,160
What fucking Golden Lion Sauna?
1482
01:28:13,161 --> 01:28:14,494
It's Golden Light,
1483
01:28:14,495 --> 01:28:17,956
You think they're all the same? Fucker...
1484
01:28:17,957 --> 01:28:19,708
Thanks so fucking much.
1485
01:28:19,709 --> 01:28:21,126
Wasn't it supposed to be untouchable?
1486
01:28:21,127 --> 01:28:25,172
Dammit, that's what I thought, too.
1487
01:28:25,173 --> 01:28:26,548
Give me your phone.
1488
01:28:26,549 --> 01:28:27,716
No calls inside the cell.
1489
01:28:27,717 --> 01:28:28,675
Take it.
1490
01:28:28,676 --> 01:28:33,676
Ain't mine anyway. Fucker.
1491
01:28:35,141 --> 01:28:38,477
A customer got drunk, it was nothing.
1492
01:28:38,478 --> 01:28:40,353
I was just kidding, don't worry.
1493
01:28:40,354 --> 01:28:42,397
Just kidding? What the fuck!
1494
01:28:42,398 --> 01:28:45,317
Look at you, your face is covered in sweat.
1495
01:28:45,318 --> 01:28:47,527
This is not fucking funny at all!
1496
01:28:47,528 --> 01:28:49,529
Were you scared?
1497
01:28:49,530 --> 01:28:51,239
No, I was just worried
about all the exercise.
1498
01:28:51,240 --> 01:28:54,201
I should stretch first...
1499
01:28:54,202 --> 01:28:59,202
Let's lie on the bed.
1500
01:29:03,294 --> 01:29:06,087
The gap between us can't be more than
1501
01:29:06,088 --> 01:29:08,048
15 centimeters.
1502
01:29:08,049 --> 01:29:10,050
I couldn't look her in the eye.
1503
01:29:10,051 --> 01:29:13,053
She puts her hand on my chest
1504
01:29:13,054 --> 01:29:15,597
and though it doesn't move,
1505
01:29:15,598 --> 01:29:19,976
my face is all flush and my heart pounds.
1506
01:29:19,977 --> 01:29:21,436
To break the silence,
1507
01:29:21,437 --> 01:29:24,564
I decided to summon up
all my will and say...
1508
01:29:24,565 --> 01:29:26,066
What' your name?
1509
01:29:26,067 --> 01:29:27,776
My name is Celia.
1510
01:29:27,777 --> 01:29:31,279
Is that short for Cecilia like in the song.
1511
01:29:31,280 --> 01:29:33,406
"Celia, you're breaking my heart."
1512
01:29:33,407 --> 01:29:35,116
It's just Celia.
1513
01:29:35,117 --> 01:29:39,913
Oh.
1514
01:29:39,914 --> 01:29:44,042
I think you're special.
1515
01:29:44,043 --> 01:29:46,586
Special? What kind of special?
1516
01:29:46,587 --> 01:29:48,171
Like, especially ugly?
1517
01:29:48,172 --> 01:29:50,590
Not ugly,
1518
01:29:50,591 --> 01:29:55,591
just special.
1519
01:30:07,024 --> 01:30:08,984
Let me give you a blowjob first!
1520
01:30:08,985 --> 01:30:12,362
What she said totally threw me off!
1521
01:30:12,363 --> 01:30:14,239
We met barely 10 minutes ago,
1522
01:30:14,240 --> 01:30:17,492
hardly exchanged a word,
and she's offering me that!
1523
01:30:17,493 --> 01:30:21,162
Damn, it's amazing enough
to hear it from a beautiful girl,
1524
01:30:21,163 --> 01:30:26,163
what else could possibly be in store?
1525
01:30:26,544 --> 01:30:30,297
But let's wash up before I blow you, okay?
1526
01:30:30,298 --> 01:30:35,298
You fill this out while I go get ready.
1527
01:30:36,512 --> 01:30:38,638
I know every word on this form,
1528
01:30:38,639 --> 01:30:41,808
but none of it makes any sense.
1529
01:30:41,809 --> 01:30:44,978
Star Wars, Little Bee, 10-Finger Piano,
1530
01:30:44,979 --> 01:30:46,813
Round the World, Flying Trapeze?
1531
01:30:46,814 --> 01:30:49,482
Dragon Drill and Pop-Rock Pearls?
1532
01:30:49,483 --> 01:30:51,943
Though I'm staring at it, completely lost,
1533
01:30:51,944 --> 01:30:54,195
I don't want to give her
the impression that
1534
01:30:54,196 --> 01:30:55,906
I'm the sort of guy who
lacks confidence and
1535
01:30:55,907 --> 01:30:58,241
can't make any decisions.
1536
01:30:58,242 --> 01:31:02,662
So I figure... I'll tick them all!
1537
01:31:02,663 --> 01:31:07,663
You can come in now.
1538
01:31:09,420 --> 01:31:14,420
Okay.
1539
01:31:15,968 --> 01:31:17,344
It's big.
1540
01:31:17,345 --> 01:31:20,096
What's big?
1541
01:31:20,097 --> 01:31:21,306
It's just big.
1542
01:31:21,307 --> 01:31:24,768
I know "big" is a relative adjective,
1543
01:31:24,769 --> 01:31:28,772
so I am not sure if she means
1544
01:31:28,773 --> 01:31:30,482
I'm bigger than most customers,
1545
01:31:30,483 --> 01:31:35,483
or just bigger than a toothpick.
1546
01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:54,673
Let's start with waterbed service.
1547
01:31:54,674 --> 01:31:59,674
First comes "Dragon on Earth".
1548
01:32:34,296 --> 01:32:39,296
Next is "Star Wars".
1549
01:32:46,934 --> 01:32:51,934
Turn over.
1550
01:33:08,456 --> 01:33:13,456
Then the "10-Finger Piano"
and "Round the World".
1551
01:33:25,473 --> 01:33:26,639
I'd never messed
1552
01:33:26,640 --> 01:33:29,267
with vibrators before.
1553
01:33:29,268 --> 01:33:32,479
This will be my first time.
It ought to be worth remembering.
1554
01:33:32,480 --> 01:33:36,149
This must be the "Earth-Shaker".
1555
01:33:36,150 --> 01:33:37,901
"Raising the Moon", then?
1556
01:33:37,902 --> 01:33:40,987
It's called "Up-Root"!
1557
01:33:40,988 --> 01:33:41,863
Just relax.
1558
01:33:41,864 --> 01:33:45,366
I had never thought my rear
would be tamed like this.
1559
01:33:45,367 --> 01:33:47,410
But to be honest,
1560
01:33:47,411 --> 01:33:52,411
I kind of like it!
1561
01:33:59,340 --> 01:34:04,340
Next, the "Dragon Drill".
1562
01:34:13,354 --> 01:34:15,021
Oh, I almost forgot to ask...
1563
01:34:15,022 --> 01:34:17,315
do you want Pop-Rocks?
1564
01:34:17,316 --> 01:34:18,316
What?
1565
01:34:18,317 --> 01:34:20,485
You take bubble tea pearls
and stick them inside.
1566
01:34:20,486 --> 01:34:23,530
I've heard guys say that it's really nice.
Want to try?
1567
01:34:23,531 --> 01:34:24,948
What? No!
1568
01:34:24,949 --> 01:34:27,534
Don't worry, it'll be fine!
1569
01:34:27,535 --> 01:34:28,827
I'll be fine without.
1570
01:34:28,828 --> 01:34:31,704
I'm surprised you're not offering to stick
real pearls in while you're at it.
1571
01:34:31,705 --> 01:34:35,583
My ass had its first intruder
not two minutes ago.
1572
01:34:35,584 --> 01:34:37,252
Since she's pretty, I can tolerate
1573
01:34:37,253 --> 01:34:38,795
such a limited inspection,
1574
01:34:38,796 --> 01:34:41,339
but that does not mean
1575
01:34:41,340 --> 01:34:43,424
dumping random trash in there is cool!
1576
01:34:43,425 --> 01:34:45,385
It's not that
1577
01:34:45,386 --> 01:34:47,053
I would have her written up,
1578
01:34:47,054 --> 01:34:51,224
but one should give as much as one gets:
1579
01:34:51,225 --> 01:34:53,184
My sharp tongue would
be evening this score.
1580
01:34:53,185 --> 01:34:57,438
What number bath is this for you today?
1581
01:34:57,439 --> 01:34:59,357
The fifth.
1582
01:34:59,358 --> 01:35:02,443
For just a moment, I felt sorry for her.
1583
01:35:02,444 --> 01:35:06,114
Is bathing so many times a day
1584
01:35:06,115 --> 01:35:09,784
with strange men considered clean or dirty?
1585
01:35:09,785 --> 01:35:11,369
I can't decide.
1586
01:35:11,370 --> 01:35:13,580
No people in this world outside
1587
01:35:13,581 --> 01:35:15,748
of prostitutes and
1588
01:35:15,749 --> 01:35:18,585
Doraemon's friend Shizuka
would bathe so much.
1589
01:35:18,586 --> 01:35:20,336
Do you have any plans?
1590
01:35:20,337 --> 01:35:24,424
Maybe save enough to start a business?
1591
01:35:24,425 --> 01:35:27,844
I still don't know, yet.
1592
01:35:27,845 --> 01:35:31,431
Oh, I know. You want to
gain more experience
1593
01:35:31,432 --> 01:35:33,141
by working here first, then get
1594
01:35:33,142 --> 01:35:36,269
an escort job at the karaoke next door
1595
01:35:36,270 --> 01:35:41,270
where you can learn some more.
1596
01:35:42,860 --> 01:35:46,613
I actually used to work at that karaoke.
1597
01:35:46,614 --> 01:35:50,116
I was forced to drink every single day,
1598
01:35:50,117 --> 01:35:52,827
and propositioned every single night.
1599
01:35:52,828 --> 01:35:56,456
I never had a decent night's rest
1600
01:35:56,457 --> 01:35:59,000
until finally I met one customer
1601
01:35:59,001 --> 01:36:04,001
who treated me well and
would always request me,
1602
01:36:04,548 --> 01:36:09,548
so I decided to get serious with him,
1603
01:36:10,054 --> 01:36:14,015
but he soon found a new girl
1604
01:36:14,016 --> 01:36:19,016
and dumped me...
1605
01:36:23,400 --> 01:36:28,400
lam such a useless nobody...
1606
01:36:35,871 --> 01:36:37,872
Please don't cry. Save your tears
1607
01:36:37,873 --> 01:36:40,667
for times of joy.
1608
01:36:40,668 --> 01:36:42,835
I came here
1609
01:36:42,836 --> 01:36:44,420
for a good time,
1610
01:36:44,421 --> 01:36:47,882
so how did it turn into a crying session?
1611
01:36:47,883 --> 01:36:50,009
Time is ticking away and
1612
01:36:50,010 --> 01:36:53,304
she's not doing anything.
1613
01:36:53,305 --> 01:36:56,015
Fuck! Could she be an Arsenal fan,
1614
01:36:56,016 --> 01:36:57,475
trying the corner kick tactic
1615
01:36:57,476 --> 01:37:00,103
to burn the clock?!
1616
01:37:00,104 --> 01:37:03,523
But then it turns out
I've got her all wrong...
1617
01:37:03,524 --> 01:37:05,858
Thank you, I'm done crying.
1618
01:37:05,859 --> 01:37:10,859
Let's continue.
1619
01:37:24,586 --> 01:37:27,046
Who came up with this.
1620
01:37:27,047 --> 01:37:29,257
Fire and Ice technique?
1621
01:37:29,258 --> 01:37:32,385
I have my suspicions,
1622
01:37:32,386 --> 01:37:35,555
but in any case, it's so natural
1623
01:37:35,556 --> 01:37:38,099
that it must have to do with yin and yang.
1624
01:37:38,100 --> 01:37:40,935
I firmly believe that this
and bareback blowjobs
1625
01:37:40,936 --> 01:37:42,353
are the greatest Chinese inventions
1626
01:37:42,354 --> 01:37:45,898
since rice and noodles.
1627
01:37:45,899 --> 01:37:48,526
Let's go back to the bed, okay?
1628
01:37:48,527 --> 01:37:49,819
I'll get things ready.
1629
01:37:49,820 --> 01:37:54,820
Frankly, if you said go to hell,
I'd start digging.
1630
01:37:55,951 --> 01:37:57,577
What are you doing?
1631
01:37:57,578 --> 01:37:59,746
Doing the "Flying Trapeze" for you.
1632
01:37:59,747 --> 01:38:01,748
"Flying Trapeze"?
1633
01:38:01,749 --> 01:38:06,749
It's an upside-down blowjob.
1634
01:38:20,351 --> 01:38:24,270
That's quite all right.
Why don't you come back down.
1635
01:38:24,271 --> 01:38:25,313
But you ticked it,
1636
01:38:25,314 --> 01:38:27,148
so if I don't do it, they'll penalize me.
1637
01:38:27,149 --> 01:38:29,567
Don't worry. I'm the one asking you not to.
1638
01:38:29,568 --> 01:38:34,568
Don't do anything else.
1639
01:38:34,782 --> 01:38:39,782
You don't want anything?
1640
01:38:40,788 --> 01:38:45,788
Really? Nothing at all?
1641
01:39:01,183 --> 01:39:03,768
Can you make me feel good?
1642
01:39:03,769 --> 01:39:08,769
Yes.
1643
01:40:23,974 --> 01:40:26,309
Let me try being on top.
1644
01:40:26,310 --> 01:40:29,896
I've never met a girl who asked
to swap positions.
1645
01:40:29,897 --> 01:40:32,148
To me, it's as rare as
1646
01:40:32,149 --> 01:40:36,068
a girl who's never late.
1647
01:40:36,069 --> 01:40:40,156
Do you know where my hometown is?
1648
01:40:40,157 --> 01:40:42,783
That's not the point.
1649
01:40:42,784 --> 01:40:44,160
Then what's your point?
1650
01:40:44,161 --> 01:40:47,038
The point is, everyone there
1651
01:40:47,039 --> 01:40:52,039
learns horseback from an early age.
1652
01:40:59,426 --> 01:41:04,426
Can I go faster?
1653
01:41:14,858 --> 01:41:18,986
It feels so good. Can you go longer?
1654
01:41:18,987 --> 01:41:22,406
Celia is, without a doubt,
an experienced jockette,
1655
01:41:22,407 --> 01:41:24,534
Who knows how many times
she's walked the winner's circles?
1656
01:41:24,535 --> 01:41:27,370
I bed she's ridden more men than
1657
01:41:27,371 --> 01:41:29,956
Douglas Whyte rides horses!
1658
01:41:29,957 --> 01:41:32,583
Her desire is so flattering.
1659
01:41:32,584 --> 01:41:33,834
I have never met an employee
1660
01:41:33,835 --> 01:41:35,336
so willing to work OT.
1661
01:41:35,337 --> 01:41:37,213
And I will help her the whole way.
1662
01:41:37,214 --> 01:41:39,966
Sex is funny:
1663
01:41:39,967 --> 01:41:41,509
The less you concentrate,
1664
01:41:41,510 --> 01:41:43,469
the better you can last.
1665
01:41:43,470 --> 01:41:45,680
So I decided to look around and
1666
01:41:45,681 --> 01:41:47,932
distract myself
1667
01:41:47,933 --> 01:41:52,933
with other things.
1668
01:41:53,313 --> 01:41:55,481
I work hard to pay for
your studies in England.
1669
01:41:55,482 --> 01:41:59,944
How can you even face me?
1670
01:41:59,945 --> 01:42:00,987
What's wrong?
1671
01:42:00,988 --> 01:42:02,989
Am I going too hard? Does it hurt?
1672
01:42:02,990 --> 01:42:04,991
Err... No...
1673
01:42:04,992 --> 01:42:07,785
No problem. I can blow him back up.
1674
01:42:07,786 --> 01:42:09,662
Let me get a wet tissue...
1675
01:42:09,663 --> 01:42:12,582
Wet tissue?!
1676
01:42:12,583 --> 01:42:15,459
You know how many germs
are out there these days.
1677
01:42:15,460 --> 01:42:17,336
Once disinfected, it is such a relief!
1678
01:42:17,337 --> 01:42:19,797
We are a democracy, let's vote on whether
1679
01:42:19,798 --> 01:42:21,674
Frankie should solicit hookers or not.
1680
01:42:21,675 --> 01:42:22,967
I said not to treat me like a hooker,
1681
01:42:22,968 --> 01:42:24,760
but you didn't have to go find a real one!
1682
01:42:24,761 --> 01:42:27,179
I don't want anything to do with a john!
I hate you!
1683
01:42:27,180 --> 01:42:31,726
That's not right.
Men are born willing to pay for it.
1684
01:42:31,727 --> 01:42:33,519
It's like eating out of hunger.
1685
01:42:33,520 --> 01:42:34,604
Isn't there enough food at home?
1686
01:42:34,605 --> 01:42:36,731
You bastard! Acting so righteous and
1687
01:42:36,732 --> 01:42:38,357
preaching about not surfing
the web for hookers.
1688
01:42:38,358 --> 01:42:39,984
You're no different than "The Hypocritic"!
1689
01:42:39,985 --> 01:42:41,944
Please stop calling me by my screen name.
1690
01:42:41,945 --> 01:42:43,237
Son, I am the one who set a bad example!
1691
01:42:43,238 --> 01:42:46,365
I am a liar and the true hypocrite!
1692
01:42:46,366 --> 01:42:48,242
But that doesn't mean I have no integrity.
1693
01:42:48,243 --> 01:42:49,744
Like father, like son
1694
01:42:49,745 --> 01:42:51,162
I always had my doubts. As if you're
1695
01:42:51,163 --> 01:42:53,497
really such a selfless volunteer.
1696
01:42:53,498 --> 01:42:57,668
Do you and Auntie usually disinfect?
1697
01:42:57,669 --> 01:42:59,879
Stand straight! Stop whoring!
1698
01:42:59,880 --> 01:43:01,380
Go back and write 1000 times
1699
01:43:01,381 --> 01:43:02,632
"I'm not allowed to get hookers again"!
1700
01:43:02,633 --> 01:43:05,217
Hand it in tomorrow!
1701
01:43:05,218 --> 01:43:07,637
A complaint was filed against your whoring.
1702
01:43:07,638 --> 01:43:10,264
Did you throw this condom out the window?
1703
01:43:10,265 --> 01:43:13,726
Officer, private matters should not
be discussed in public
1704
01:43:13,727 --> 01:43:15,519
I'm only up here because
a complaint was filed.
1705
01:43:15,520 --> 01:43:17,688
You'd best double-check.
1706
01:43:17,689 --> 01:43:20,733
Honey, I'm wearing a T-back today!
1707
01:43:20,734 --> 01:43:25,734
Please check more carefully, officer!
1708
01:43:29,868 --> 01:43:32,995
I told you not to overthink everything.
1709
01:43:32,996 --> 01:43:35,039
Why do you worry so much?
1710
01:43:35,040 --> 01:43:40,040
You won't be able to forget the past.
1711
01:43:49,888 --> 01:43:52,181
Shut up!
1712
01:43:52,182 --> 01:43:57,182
I... I didn't mean you...
1713
01:45:45,879 --> 01:45:48,088
I don't smoke, it's unhealthy.
1714
01:45:48,089 --> 01:45:53,089
You should quit.
1715
01:46:52,153 --> 01:46:56,073
It's time for me to leave.
1716
01:46:56,074 --> 01:46:59,618
I'll see you out.
1717
01:46:59,619 --> 01:47:01,370
You are a good person.
1718
01:47:01,371 --> 01:47:04,999
That was satisfying and felt really good.
1719
01:47:05,000 --> 01:47:06,250
Then will we meet again?
1720
01:47:06,251 --> 01:47:08,085
Sure.
1721
01:47:08,086 --> 01:47:13,086
But you'll forget about me very soon.
1722
01:47:15,510 --> 01:47:17,344
Why don't I give you my QQ number.
1723
01:47:17,345 --> 01:47:22,345
Okay.
1724
01:47:34,779 --> 01:47:39,700
Goodbye.
1725
01:47:39,701 --> 01:47:42,286
I think you really are special.
1726
01:47:42,287 --> 01:47:47,287
I won't forget you.
1727
01:48:32,337 --> 01:48:37,337
You are beautiful.
1728
01:49:10,959 --> 01:49:15,959
I won't forget you.
1729
01:49:33,106 --> 01:49:35,274
Just order any damned thing already.
1730
01:49:35,275 --> 01:49:37,651
Okay, we're all here.
1731
01:49:37,652 --> 01:49:39,820
Everyone take out 20 bucks.
1732
01:49:39,821 --> 01:49:41,113
Why should I give 20 bucks?
1733
01:49:41,114 --> 01:49:44,533
Whatever, just do it.
1734
01:49:44,534 --> 01:49:46,493
Okay, gentlemen.
1735
01:49:46,494 --> 01:49:49,329
We all had a good time last night.
1736
01:49:49,330 --> 01:49:50,456
Now it's time
1737
01:49:50,457 --> 01:49:53,042
to report your goal scores!
1738
01:49:53,043 --> 01:49:54,418
My friend Nick here
1739
01:49:54,419 --> 01:49:56,128
will explain.
1740
01:49:56,129 --> 01:49:58,130
Everyone write down the number of times
1741
01:49:58,131 --> 01:49:59,465
you came on a piece of paper.
1742
01:49:59,466 --> 01:50:00,549
You don't have to write your name
1743
01:50:00,550 --> 01:50:01,967
unless you really want to.
1744
01:50:01,968 --> 01:50:03,969
Then we each get one guess at the total.
1745
01:50:03,970 --> 01:50:04,970
Guess right and you take the pot.
1746
01:50:04,971 --> 01:50:07,473
Multiple winners will split it, okay?
1747
01:50:07,474 --> 01:50:08,265
Okay.
1748
01:50:08,266 --> 01:50:10,350
Your friends are ridiculous.
1749
01:50:10,351 --> 01:50:15,351
Whatever, just put it down!
1750
01:50:16,733 --> 01:50:20,486
Okay. From left to right,
each person guess a number.
1751
01:50:20,487 --> 01:50:21,779
Okay, let's see...
1752
01:50:21,780 --> 01:50:22,738
Wow, 1!
1753
01:50:22,739 --> 01:50:24,364
This guy is a wimp!
1754
01:50:24,365 --> 01:50:27,951
You kidding me? What a waste!
1755
01:50:27,952 --> 01:50:30,287
She said it was her first day
1756
01:50:30,288 --> 01:50:32,331
and had no experience, so I...
1757
01:50:32,332 --> 01:50:35,250
Fuck! They all say that!
1758
01:50:35,251 --> 01:50:37,878
What a sucker.
1759
01:50:37,879 --> 01:50:39,463
Wow, O!
1760
01:50:39,464 --> 01:50:41,006
Just when you think it can't get worse.
1761
01:50:41,007 --> 01:50:42,674
That's gotta be a joke.
1762
01:50:42,675 --> 01:50:45,719
Right. Whoever has the balls
to confess gets his money back.
1763
01:50:45,720 --> 01:50:47,596
And I'll put in another 500 of my own.
Anyone?
1764
01:50:47,597 --> 01:50:52,597
No one want to own up? Fine.
1765
01:50:53,937 --> 01:50:56,480
Seven?!
1766
01:50:56,481 --> 01:50:59,316
No need to guess! It was me!
1767
01:50:59,317 --> 01:51:01,527
You could... seven times with that one?
1768
01:51:01,528 --> 01:51:02,444
What do you know?
1769
01:51:02,445 --> 01:51:03,862
Guys come out for what?
1770
01:51:03,863 --> 01:51:05,739
Definitely not to find a wife!
1771
01:51:05,740 --> 01:51:07,491
Which means you have to pick one
1772
01:51:07,492 --> 01:51:09,326
who knows the meaning of service.
1773
01:51:09,327 --> 01:51:11,662
The ugly ones are always overlooked,
1774
01:51:11,663 --> 01:51:13,872
so you're doing them a
favour by picking them
1775
01:51:13,873 --> 01:51:15,791
and they will repay you
with double the effort.
1776
01:51:15,792 --> 01:51:17,000
I'm thirsty.
1777
01:51:17,001 --> 01:51:22,001
Here.
1778
01:51:23,216 --> 01:51:24,967
I can take the pressure, harder.
1779
01:51:24,968 --> 01:51:27,010
Okay. Is that good?
1780
01:51:27,011 --> 01:51:28,512
Not bad. Cigarette.
1781
01:51:28,513 --> 01:51:33,513
Here.
1782
01:51:34,644 --> 01:51:36,562
Hot ones don't worry
about having customers.
1783
01:51:36,563 --> 01:51:38,897
If you don't take them, someone else will.
1784
01:51:38,898 --> 01:51:41,233
What do they care?
1785
01:51:41,234 --> 01:51:46,234
Truly, a master among men.
1786
01:51:46,239 --> 01:51:51,239
- That means your Juliet...
- Yes.
1787
01:51:58,042 --> 01:52:03,042
Can we start?
1788
01:52:04,424 --> 01:52:09,424
Take off your clothes, then come in.
1789
01:52:14,976 --> 01:52:19,976
Why are you only scrubbing this side?
1790
01:52:20,273 --> 01:52:22,816
So this is "Bikini Style"?
1791
01:52:22,817 --> 01:52:26,278
What the fuck do you want?!
1792
01:52:26,279 --> 01:52:28,530
You can was the other parts, too.
1793
01:52:28,531 --> 01:52:33,531
Sure...
1794
01:52:34,078 --> 01:52:37,998
It kinda hurts, can you... be gentler?
1795
01:52:37,999 --> 01:52:39,374
Your dick is so fucking tiny,
1796
01:52:39,375 --> 01:52:44,375
if I don't go hard, it'll
slip out of my hand!
1797
01:52:48,301 --> 01:52:53,301
Dry yourself and wait outside.
1798
01:52:54,307 --> 01:52:57,351
If that's it, I'm off to the factory.
1799
01:52:57,352 --> 01:52:59,269
Call if you want to do it again.
1800
01:52:59,270 --> 01:53:01,104
Dickhead!
1801
01:53:01,105 --> 01:53:03,482
We all headed back, then?
1802
01:53:03,483 --> 01:53:08,483
I've decided to stay another night.
1803
01:53:43,690 --> 01:53:44,731
I'm your girlfriend.
1804
01:53:44,732 --> 01:53:46,358
Of course I'll be the first to support you!
1805
01:53:46,359 --> 01:53:51,359
I'll always be your number one fan!
1806
01:54:23,646 --> 01:54:28,646
I'm sorry.
1807
01:55:04,228 --> 01:55:07,147
I love you.
1808
01:55:07,148 --> 01:55:10,233
Why do you seem so different today?
1809
01:55:10,234 --> 01:55:13,195
In what way? I'm the same.
1810
01:55:13,196 --> 01:55:15,030
I want to ask you a questions,
1811
01:55:15,031 --> 01:55:16,615
but don't get mad.
1812
01:55:16,616 --> 01:55:18,325
So ask.
1813
01:55:18,326 --> 01:55:23,326
Have you ever had a prostitute?
1814
01:55:24,040 --> 01:55:26,583
Sir, are you feeling unwell?
1815
01:55:26,584 --> 01:55:29,795
Do you need any help?
1816
01:55:29,796 --> 01:55:31,588
I'm okay, thanks.
1817
01:55:31,589 --> 01:55:36,589
Just a little sentimental.
1818
01:55:44,477 --> 01:55:49,477
(I'm finally not a nobody XD)
1819
01:56:04,664 --> 01:56:09,664
It's said that desire is
like a boundless forest.
1820
01:56:09,669 --> 01:56:13,213
Once you're inside, it's
hard to come back out.
1821
01:56:13,214 --> 01:56:16,758
Does this journey lead to
a paradise of pleasures,
1822
01:56:16,759 --> 01:56:20,011
or an underworld of sin?
1823
01:56:20,012 --> 01:56:25,012
"ORIGINAL BY XIAN XI MURAKAMI HARUKI"
1824
01:56:25,852 --> 01:56:30,852
"Screenplay, Directed by
and Starring MARK WU."
1825
01:57:08,561 --> 01:57:13,561
Hey dad, you can go now.
1826
01:57:14,817 --> 01:57:17,402
You stay right here, don't move.
I'm going to go buy something.
1827
01:57:17,403 --> 01:57:20,238
I watch him in his black-framed glasses
1828
01:57:20,239 --> 01:57:22,032
and his grey jacket,
1829
01:57:22,033 --> 01:57:24,409
hobbling to the railway tracks,
1830
01:57:24,410 --> 01:57:28,121
easing himself down
without too much trouble.
1831
01:57:28,122 --> 01:57:30,207
But when he crosses the tracks and
1832
01:57:30,208 --> 01:57:33,835
has to climb up the opposite platform,
it isn't so easy.
1833
01:57:33,836 --> 01:57:38,048
With two hands reaching up,
two feet trying to follow,
1834
01:57:38,049 --> 01:57:40,258
his body lists to the left,
1835
01:57:40,259 --> 01:57:42,344
bringing his struggling face into view.
1836
01:57:42,345 --> 01:57:44,888
I then see his silhouette and
1837
01:57:44,889 --> 01:57:48,225
it brings me to tears.
1838
01:57:48,226 --> 01:57:49,976
I wipe them away,
1839
01:57:49,977 --> 01:57:52,938
fearing that he will see,
that others will see.
1840
01:57:52,939 --> 01:57:54,689
When I turned to look again, he was
1841
01:57:54,690 --> 01:57:59,690
already coming back with a bag of oranges.
1842
01:58:02,532 --> 01:58:06,368
But dad... I don't eat oranges...
1843
01:58:06,369 --> 01:58:11,369
Oh, these aren't for you.
1844
01:58:12,959 --> 01:58:15,126
The condoms up there break easily.
1845
01:58:15,127 --> 01:58:20,127
But I was just going to the manga expo.
1846
01:58:23,386 --> 01:58:26,429
James recommends number 88,
says she's awesome.
1847
01:58:26,430 --> 01:58:30,809
Already had her.
1848
01:58:30,810 --> 01:58:32,811
The train's here. I'm off.
1849
01:58:32,812 --> 01:58:35,522
At that moment, I finally understand
1850
01:58:35,523 --> 01:58:37,649
the meaning of the lesson on "Silhouette".
1851
01:58:37,650 --> 01:58:39,568
And my dad and I
1852
01:58:39,569 --> 01:58:44,569
have never been closer.
131782
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