All language subtitles for Chelsea.Girls

...two days before that

Sitting on your rock,

checking out my pants.
That was a nice day.

- Is that 2 days ago?
- Yeah... 3 days ago.

Doesn't seem that long.

Doesn't seem it, but it is.

Today we went out on business,
yesterday we went out...

It was 2 days ago.

Wasn't it?
No, it was 3 days ago.

Because that was the day
we got the train ride.

2 days ago was the train
ride day.

That ended up very...
it was my fault. Excuse me.

I don't know what you're
talking about.

I'm trying to find out which
day was a nice day...

if the weather was nice, right?

And the only day I was out
in the weather...

or outside was...

3... 2 days ago.

- Remember what you were doing?
- That's the only day I remember.

All the other days I just stayed in.

I didn't want to go out.

Last night was beautiful though.

I walked by the docks.
It was fresh.

You what?

I walked back from the party.

It was nice last night.

- Want a cigarette?
- No.

Got a match?

This is the trouble with
false eyelashes.

- What?
- The hair always gets stuck in them.

- The hairs that you're cutting off?
- Yeah.

It's acting like a bib, so they don't
go into your eyes.

They stay there on top, so you have
a pattern on top of your eyelashes.

I have to get lunch so then
we can have coffee.

I don't think I want any coffee
any more.

- Is there any beer?
- You were sitting on the matches.

- Beer makes you gain weight.
- What?

I don't like beer...

I like coffee.
You don't like coffee?

Nice colour, right?

It's like that Hawaiian print
dress that you wear...

How can I tell by opening
this side?

We'll see...

- You don't want coffee?
- Try some.

That's nice.
That is nice.

Help, Nico. Can you
smell gas?

As long as we don't
blow up.

You have hair on your face.
Can I blow it?

Ari, you're really having fun with
that ball. Let's do something fun...

Like what?

Maman...

How many men have you slept with?

I can't give you a number...

- You've lost track. That many?
- No, I've never kept track.

- I'd never keep...
- I think it would be a good idea.

- You should keep track.
- Why?

- You want to keep notes, don't you?
- I keep notes.

- Ingrid, I'm here to help you.
- I keep a dairy.

I'm here to help people, and my
notes as to what sex...

- Oh, you're here to help people?
- Yes.

How do you expect to help me?
You don't even know about problems.

- Unburden yourself.
- Unburden myself?

- Get rid of them...
- How can I unburden myself with...

- a perfect stranger?
- That's the only one to do it with.

How can you trust a friend?

How can you unburden yourself with
someone who knows you intimately?

- I don't know you at all.
- You're right.

You can tell me everything,
anything.

- How old are you?
- I'm about 21.

- You look much older.
- I know, I'm a wise, wise person.

I looked like this when I was 14.

- How do you preserve yourself.
- I don't, I just look old.

- You believe in organic food?
- No, I believe in organs.

- Organs? What kind of organs?
- Wurlitzer... you know, regular...

...ear, nose... The praxis is this way.

- First of all, sit.
- I think...

No, no, you're slouching. Sit.

Put your head back. Now start to
recall, I want to hear everything.

- What do you want me to recall?
- Your first sexual experience.

Be it with a man, a woman,
a dog or a cat...

My first sexual experience was when
I was 18. It was with a male.

And... I loved him, of course.

I wouldn't have had sex
if I didn't love him.

And...

- Well?
- Wait a minute.

- What sort of sex did you have?
- Intercourse. What do you think?

What sort of sex did you have?

He taught me all about
the birds and the bees.

Did you have oral penetration?

- Anal penetration or vaginal?
- Vaginal penetration!

- What happened? How did it start?
- How did it start?

Did he pet you?
Did he grab your tit?

- Yes, that's it. He grabbed my tit.
- What was your reaction?

- I got scared.
- You remember your exact words?

Oh, clever...
Then what happened?

It's been such a long time.
Time goes so slow nowadays.

Doesn't it?

All right, now your second sexual
experience. This is getting very dull.

Well, this person that I had my first
sexual experience with...

I was with him for about a year.

- Yes...
- And I got sick of him!

- Why?
- Because I just got sick of him.

Same old person, same old
purple...

- Oh, I...
- Purple cock?

That's it, you guessed it.
What are you, a mind reader?

No, no. A pants reader.
Go on, go on...

I think you've got a one track mind:
Sex

Why don't you ask me about
my parents or my family?

I'm not interested. I'm interested
in helping you.

- Where did you pierce your ears?
- They're not pierced.

They're not? It looks like
they are. Aren't you clever?

Cigarettes too. May I have one?

- Can't you take your glasses off?
- No...

- The light hurts my eyes.
- Here.

- Don't you want to ask questions?
- Let me ask you a question.

Go ahead.

How old were you when you
first had sex?

- 11.
- 11?!

- Yes.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.

- I wasn't.
- You could have at least waited.

I didn't know what waiting
meant at 11.

You seem to be a very
overly anxious person.

- I'm... I haven't...
- At least I was of age.

You should be ashamed,
being a priest!

You don't understand,
what makes you of age?

- You're not even wearing a cross.
- I'm not a real priest

I didn't think so...

The penance you'll do is not
real Roman Catholic exorcising...

I know, but I can't tell you
everything in detail because

this is my first confession.

It's my first time in a
Catholic church.

This is not a Catholic church, it's
an ex- Catholic priest's boudoir.

- Boudoir?
- Yes.

You're here for a private
consultation. It's not a church.

- I should've gone to a psychiatrist.
- But everywhere...

- you are is where God is.
- Think I need a psychiatrist?

- I think you need a keeper.
- A keeper?

I think I can handle myself
pretty well.

Unfortunately, the man who
recommended you

didn't tell me what you were.
You're not my type.

- What's that got to do with it?
- You see, you were coming here...

I was going to interview you for a
job, but you don't fit.

- That's not the story I heard.
- Well...

- What kind of job?
- A very, very profitable one.

- In what way?
- You 'd be making a lot of money...

- In what way?
- You 'd be making a lot of money...

I assure you I would only
accept a legitimate job.

I'm not offering you any job, you
don't fit the qualifications.

- I have a job and I'm satisfied.
- Good luck.

You can leave whenever
you're ready.

- I don't wanna leave yet.
- All right.

- No, not yet...
- You'd better be able...

Would you mind if I ask you
another question?

- No, go right ahead.
- No, go right ahead...

- Yes, go right ahead!
- No, go right ahead!

- Yes.
- Don't teach me grammar, you...

- You what?
- Twerp.

- Twerp...
- Twerp.

- What am I, a bird?
- Mongoloid.

- Go on, what did you want to ask?
- Got any more names?

- Any more names?
- Yes, any more names to call me!

- I mean...
- Listen, why don't you get out?

- Well, if you want me to go...
- Yes I do. Thank you. Good-bye.

Good-bye.

That's all, call someone else.

- Hey you!
- Who me?

- Yes, you! Come in here!
- What do you want?

- Your heart!
- I haven't got a heart.

- Yes you do.
- No I don't.

- Small, squirmy little organ.
- What's a heart supposed to do?

Speak, speak, speak...
You know you enjoy me.

- Now what're you...
- You're cute.

So are you, honey.
Put your earrings back on.

- I lost them.
- They're down here.

- I don't take advantage of girls.
- I don't know...

- Why don't you put them on for me?
- No!

- Oh, you...
- Oh, all right. Give me your ear.

I'm not going to hurt you, my dear.
I don't know how they go on.

I don't know how they go on.

- Ingrid.
- Well...

Well...

- You have a happy home life?
- Infinitely.

- Get along well with your parents?
- Everybody.

- Everybody.
- Everybody, even the dog.

- Ever have sex with the dog?
- Yes, and my parents too.

Trying to say your parents are
dogs? It's not respectful!

- No, I didn't say that.
- It's one of the 10 Commandments.

- Respect your parents!
- I never said that.

I'm stupid, I always misunderstand.

Not only do you misunderstand, but you
scream like you're out of your mind.

- At least I admit it.
- But you need help, you know.

- I know that.
- Regular help.

- How often?
- Like "Ex - Lax".

You need regular help, dear. Twice,
three times a week. Go to a clinic.

I don't think I need "Ex-Lax".

I said like "Ex-Lax".
You need regularity.

- Oh, a sense of security.
- What do you do for a living?

Notice how I'm sweating.
It's your chance.

Why are you sweating?

- Do I excite you?
- I don't know. Maybe you do.

- Aren't you ever sure?
- This is your big chance.

- Now, what do you do?
- I work in an office.

Where? Come on, the truth!
Office. I don't want that bullshit!

I work in an office!
I'm a clerk.

You're a clerk? Where?

- 166, Packard Avenue.
- Peckered Avenue?

- Packard, not Peckered!
- You're lying.

I you want to call me a liar,
go right ahead. I don't care.

I know what you do.

I don't give a crud what
you think of me!

What ever I think, I know
what you do.

You know what I do?
Did you inquire?

- I've been told.
- You've been told.

Do you believe everything you hear?
You're a stupid fool if you do.

- Ingrid!
- Oh, I'm sorry...

You're speaking to a very
sensitive priestess.

- God, please forgive me.
- The High Priestess.

- Not Maria Montez, either.
- Who's Maria Montez?

- Who is Maria Montez?!
- Yeah.

I don't know.

Why talk about somebody
you don't know?

I didn't bring the name up,
you did.

- You did first!
- I did not!

- Ingrid, I did not!
- You're crazy!

You talk about me needing
help.

- You need a towel.
- I'm not sweating, you are.

- Yes, you are.
- Where?

Over here, around here. Probably
in your dress and everything.

- You're sweating.
- I can't help it. It's warm in here.

- You need a towel, here!
- Okay, thank you.

Jesus! Forgive me.

- Now, you're throwing it in, eh?
- I am not throwing it in!

- Want a little more beer?
- No, no, no... Let me drink this beer.

Take the hors d'oeuvre out.

- I used to just... You're such a pig!
- I know.

- You should be ashamed. Schweinhund!
- What a boring tongue you spoke.

- And how awfully you speak it.
- Well, it's not even English.

It's German. I don't want to
hear it!

- He's bi-lingual too...
- I'm not a "Schweinhund".

- What does "Schweinhund" mean?
- Don't drag me into this, please...

- this discussion.
- I did not curse!

- Ingrid, you need more than help.
- I know...

- You have to be forgiven.
- I need a complete overhaul.

- And your family does too.
- How do you know?

- You never met my family.
- I don't have to, believe me.

- If you say so...
- I understand from your presence...

- what's wrong with your mother.
- What is wrong with my mother?

I will not elaborate, it would
go on for years.

- First of all, the teapot.
- The teapot?

Yes, that plays "Tea for Two"
when you pick it up.

That's one of the little things,
I know the whole business.

I understand by the way you hold
your mouth, what you are.

I can't help it if I have a
long, thin jaw.

I didn't mean your jaw,
I said your lips.

- My lips?
- Your mouth.

What do you have under your
chin? Are those lumps warts?

No, I had a fight, darling.
It's still oozing.

- You should be ashamed.
- I have to be ashamed?

You're one of God's messengers
to help people.

I am not one of God's messengers!

- That's what my mother told me.
- Your mother's a nut!

- It runs in the family!
- You and her should be locked up.

If you think I'm bad, you ought
to meet my mother.

- I don't want to ever meet her.
- One day you'll meet her.

Ingrid, I hope not. For your sake
and your mother's.

- Specially for my mother's.
- You know, my dear, I think...

- if you are wise...
- Wise?

- You'll take mother to that clinic.
- What clinic?

- The nearest one.
- The psychiatric clinic.

- Yes, she needs it.
- I know that.

- You know?
- My psychiatrist told me.

It'll take years to straighten
her out.

But if you can't get her to the
psychiatrist...

I'm sure she won't have any
trouble getting into the clinic.

If you can't do that, you can
slip something in her coffee.

- Like what?
- Well, like LSD first of all.

- Give her an LSD...
- What's LSD?

- Haven't you ever had it?
- No!

- Oh, it's fun. You'll love it.
- What's it like? Tell me.

- Very colourful.
- Is it a drug?

Yes, it's a hallucinogen...

- that means you see things.
- That aren't there.

That are there, really

I don't have hallucinations,
but that's another story.

But does it affect everybody
differently?

I hope.

- You think I should try it?
- Absolutely. As soon as you can.

- What are you, a retired actor?
- No, I'm an amateur yoghurt.

- Yoghurt?
- Now, d'you want to just...

- Did you finish high school?
- Of course I finished high school.

- What seminary did you go to?
- I told you, I'm not a priest!

- Practicing under false pretences.
- I went to art school.

- What are you doing as a priest?
- Posing.

That's a fact, believe me.
Here, wipe that sweat off your face.

You smell. When was the last time
you took a bath?

- Don't you use deodorant?
- I don't.

- You should, it's very offensive.
- Ahhhh...

so's your breath!
But you know, I understand...

- It's from the beer.
- It's not form the beer!

- I smell salami and onions, pig!
- It's not onions, it's garlic.

- Well then, you've been eating...
- This is not for me, okay?

- Creature!
- I had a sore throat.

Don't breathe in my
direction, you're offensive.

- I didn't say a word about that.
Why should I breathe on you?

- Don't breathe, you'll wilt.
- I'll wilt? You'll wilt!

- You're making this pus ooze more.
- Yeah.

Ingrid, I think I've had it! Who's
is that? Yes, I would love...

- See my eyes?
- I'm going to.

- They're beautiful.
- Thank you.

Nothing in them, you haven't
a pupil left.

- Neither do you.
- I didn't intend to.

They're beautiful. Turn around, look
at this suite, all those people...

Show them all your face, it's not bad.
A little...

A little what?

A little cracked, crummy...
but you're all right.

- You'll make it. You'll make it.
- You're not so great yourself.

- Oh yes I am.
- You're no Cary grant.

- Oh yes I am.
- Oh no you're not.

- Yes I am. Here are your glasses.
- Trying to be comical?

- You can go.
- You want me to leave?

- No, no. Don't! Don't go!
- I wanna leave, I'm sick of you.

- You're disgusting, shame on you!
- I don't care any more.

- Beer's good for the hair.
- I know, it's good for everything.

Come on, lemme wash your hair.
Beer shampoo.

Good idea... don't get this
frock dirty.

- There.
- Don't get this frock dirty!

- Frock?
- Yes.

- You frock's full of B.O.
- B.O.?

How come every time I am in this
situation, I always get wet?

Because you should be wet!

- I said...
- You're so wet behind the ears!

You should be tied up, put in bathtub
and pissed on regularly.

For two hours.
And then you would thank...

- You're so vulgar!
- It's perfect for you.

- You'd be in heaven.
- You mean golden showers?

I don't care if they're orange
blizzards! My dear, you'd be happy.

- You'd be a Christian.
- You think I'm not in Heaven?

I hope so.

- I don't think I want to go there.
- Oh... lngrid.

- But you can reform me.
- I don't want to. You're unspoiled.

My parents spoiled me.
I'm the only child.

Give me the rest of that beer, please.
And not on the face.

- I'll save it for later.
- I wanna drink, understand?

You goddam lush, will you
please give me a drink?

- I'll drink it okay, it's only beer.
- You're a moron!

I don't want to get heated
because it's too warm.

- I would like a drink, please.
- All right. Here, have a drink.

Thanks...

Wet your whistle.

- I never could.
- Champagne is bottled beer.

I always get my hair wet!
My evening is ruined!

So is your day. I think...
It's over isn't it?

Is it time for the ball to fall?
And 1966 is over.

Like being Gila Barter?

- Oh, don't cry Ingrid.
- It's just...

Happy New year. I'm just gonna
give your hair... a new... I'm warm!

You're always warm!
Why is that?

I don't want to... I would like to
end it. Why don't you leave?

I don't wanna to leave.
I'll sit on the floor.

- All right.
- Or I'll hide.

- Okay.
- So you don't have to look at me.

You can be nice and take off
the boots...

- Boots? I'm not wearing shoes.
- I am

- Want me to take off your boots?
- Yes, take you my...

- What am I? A scapegoat?
- A scapegoat?

- Yes... slave!
- No.

- Or a wife?
- Wife?

- Ingrid...
- What?

Would I marry you?

- Now...
- Well, would you marry me?

- No, I wouldn't.
- I wouldn't marry you either.

- Now what...
- You're too old for me.

- I'm only 21...
- You're lying. You look 55!

- I'm 21, Ingrid...
- You make my father look young.

- These are all experiences.
- Well why... how come

you have so many wrinkles?
You must have had a lot...

- Oh, what was that?
- That click click?

We're being bugged.

- I'm tired.
- You look tired.

- I feel it.
- Have a hard day? Looks like it.

Beyond belief... beyond belief.
Don't... oh, you wanna cry.

- No, what makes you think that?
- I saw your lip quiver.

- Do they quiver?
- I'm holding my feelings inside.

- Oh Ingrid, let them out!
- No.

- Let me meet them!
- Once a month.

- Release them!
- It's not that time of the month!

It's National Release Day,
go on!

You think that's the best release,
crying?

Quiver that lip completely.
Let cry.

- Go ahead, have a good cry.
- I can't.

- Because you don't want to.
- I've got strong will power.

Crying is really something
you should do.

- I...
- Regularly.

- No, now I can't...
- Why?

If you try, Ingrid, you can cry.

No, I can't. I know my own capacity.
I know I can't cry.

- 'Cos I don't want to.
- Cry Ingrid.

What can I say so you'll cry?

What insults you so that
you'll cry?

There's a storm... What can I say?

Now you should be weeping.

- Don't fart on me!
- I'm not, I'm just blowing on you!

Sounded like a fart.

I'm trying to get your attention.

- Why?
- Because you know...

- Come in, whoever you are.
- Somebody else to see.

Who is it? Who is it?

Who's there? For heaven's
sake, you can answer.

Which door are they using?
Hello?

Yes, who is it?

Who is it?

- It's for you, Ingrid.
- How do you know?

- I just heard him say your name.
- And don't call me that!

- I'm sorry, Ingrid.
- You don't even know my name.

- That's not my real name.
- I know you as Ingrid.

- I was told that you're Ingrid.
- It's my middle name.

That beer feels good on my hair.
Here.

- Why don't you read from the Bible?
- I don't have a Bible here.

- Do you believe it?
- It's nice, but I don't believe it.

- I want a direct answer.
- I don't believe in anything.

- Shame on you, atheist.
- I don't disbelieve in it either.

- I mean... it could be so.
- If you don't believe in the Bible,

you don't believe in God.

I don't believe in American
consumerism.

- You're Catholic?
- I was born Roman Catholic.

I'm no longer practicing
anything...

But do you live by religion?

- No I don't.
- I didn't think so.

You seem like a very immoral
person.

I am a completely moral person
because I stick to my own morals.

- You're gonna go to limbo.
- Is that a discotheque?

No, it is just before you go to hell.

What kind of people go there?

You don't have to be that bad.
Pretty bad, but not the worst...

- The worst people go to hell?
- The best of the worst.

- That's me.
- Unless you change and go to Heaven.

I'm bad, completely bad.

I'd go to Hell.
You'd put me in Hell.

- I wouldn't put anybody in Hell.
- Yes you do.

- Not my worst enemy.

Sometimes, by your very
presence, you put them

right in the midst of the worst
Hell known.

I think I might go to Heaven, which
I doubt. I'd be bored.

You? No, they'd be bored.

- Everybody would be bored.
- They would...

I don't want to be an angel
and fly around up there.

- Say that again, slowly.
- Who wants to be an angel?

And? Finish it.

- You finish it, you heard it.
- Say it again, please.

- Why?
- Yes?

- There's somebody.
- There is somebody back there.

Who's back there? Wait a minute,
there's something going on...

I'm hallucinating.

You're hallucinating?
Did you take LSD again?

- No, no, but I'm hallucinating.
- Do you always hallucinate?

- Frequently.
- Power of suggestion?

Power of suggestion?
I don't know what that means.

- Whose suggestion?
- The suggestion of your willpower.

It's nothing to do with that.
Actually when you get a bit tired...

it's visual. Then you have the
hallucinations in the ears...

- Auditory.
- Whatever they're called.

Ear hallucinations. When you hear
your name being called,

- like I just did.
- You always hear voices?

- You see?
- Wait... I did hear that.

- It's a man's voice I think.
- I heard the name, didn't you?

- Why don't you go see who it is?
- I just did.

- There's no one there.
- Go and look again.

- It seems fruitless.
- I'll go... I'll look.

You understand disappointment.

Who's there?

- Nobody. You're hearing voices.
- You heard it too.

- I know. It must be contagious.
- It is. It's like a deadly disease.

- Ingrid, you're going to Hell.
- Say that again.

- Ingrid, you're going to Hell.
- That's where I belong.

You're not allowed in Heaven.
You never will be.

Neither are you.

I am telling you...
your Hell is now.

I'll go straight to Hell,
I'm not going to limbo first?

You're going to Hell for eternity.

- You will die...
- Where have I sinned?

- How? Who?
- When you open your mouth, you lie.

- Liar!
- Every time...

Every time you close your eyes...

I got it from Arthur Loeb. Let me call
her up, Miss Loeb...

find out why she's not marrying me.
2884035, please.

88... 4035.

That Jew uptown...

Willy's friend. I don't care if I
mention that name or not.

What are you talking about?
Oh, hello?

They gave you the number,
didn't they? Right?

Arthur told me he didn't wanna
marry me.

Because he thought I was just after
his money... That's not true.

You could fall in love with
this bastard.

They keep pound jars around.

Not home.
I'm gonna call Dropout now.

I hate this. I'm so hot, it's like
I've had a trip of niacin.

3 teaspoons in water the other day.
I said: "Please rip my clothes off!"

Spent the whole day reading
the telephone book.

Going through the same names
to find a new connection.

At night I write them down
and then forget who they are.

Ingrid, come here.

Just hold it that way a little bit,
not too close.

You look pretty today.

What's the clip doing? Is it supposed
to be "Pop", or whatever they call it.

No, I did it on purpose.

You look like an idiot.

Get that crap off your face!

- I'll do it myself.
- Stay clean.

- What?
- A piece of paradise.

You don't like boys any more.
You admitted it.

- You don't like boys yourself.
- I hate them.

- I'm glad you admitted it.
- I like them to have fun with.

Now I can't find that many girls
to have fun with...

Hello, Fern? It's Brigid again.

He is home and you're not
telling me.

Hi, darling. Listen, did you get
price on that acid?

I called at noon yesterday and
she said you weren't there.

I got a price on 20 $57.50 caps for
80, but that's like cheap stuff.

A price at Figaro's for 20 caps...

The same guy?

If I get about, say, $200 worth...

I want 300 bucks... I want a really
good price.

Ingrid, come here. Let me
fix that mirror for you.

Stop putting crap on your face!

I can't think of what to say
to him now.

Hello? I wasn't talking to you.

Get me some acid.
I need a trip, Mark.

I'm at a number where you
can reach me right away.

Yeah. CH33700...

and ask for Mrs Parker.
Mrs John Bowman Parker.

33700.

There's no extension.
I'm around the place.

Sometimes they find me
weaving off in the elevator.

I sleep on the shelf like
Willy's friend.

Who's "whatsisname"? There's lots
of "whatsisnames"!

How is he?

Listen, call me later.
Or I'll see you tonight...

in Figaro. I'll be on my bike.

All right, okay.

Now, back to you.

- Take that stuff off your face!
- You gonna help me?

Take the lace off and I'll give
you something divine to wear.

Yes, Duchess. Anything you say.

There's a pair of new... Oh no, my
burgundy velvet pants in the closet.

I'll pin them on you, they'll
be too big.

And... a navy shirt and an ascot.

It's much smarter.

Excuse me, corduroy is finished.
It looks so country clubby.

- Or that chubby club where the...
- I don't get my clothes there,

because my brother clued me in to
the Army Navy Store

on 13th street and 3rd Avenue.
It's divine...

I get 38 waists and
30 long, black.

And you can try them on in the
back, behind the counter.

We went through that suitcase
before we took it back.

And, my dear, I have never in my
whole life seen clothes so filthy.

Absolutely... everything.

- Talking about your own clothes?
- No, I'm talking about yours!

Mine go to the Laundromat every day
and Mack the engineer does it.

The one that's, you know, lesbian...
who saw you with another girl.

You sleep with plenty of girls.
You have orgies every night.

- I do?
- Yes, you do.

I haven't had sex since Genevieve got
hepatitis. I don't have time.

- Did she catch it from Arthur Loeb?
- No, she caught it from me.

- You really like to destroy people
- Yes. I'd love to destroy you.

But first the Johnny Carson Show.

You really wanna be on it?
I can do it.

No. If you do it, I don't wanna be
on it. I don't trust you.

For what reason?

Because you'd probably tell him
a lot of lies...

I'd tell a lot of lies...

You'd probably sit in the audience

and laugh at me like you did at my
meeting with your scotch.

- Because you copied all my stuff.
- Not all your stuff.

You just changed it from "twenty-two".
You just changed it little girl.

- Yeah, here's something...
- Written for you... Tina Louise.

- What's my real name, Duchess?
- I don't know... nothing.

You have a feeble memory from
all those drugs you take.

You're the one who comes crying
to me:

"Brigid, I need a downer".

You knock at my door:

"I'm on LSD, please
let me in!"

I said I'm busy at the moment,

and half an hour later she's
still waiting at the door

and asks: "Are you through yet?"
You never took it in your life?

Well then, you're nothing but
a goddam liar.

Right?

Right.

Okay, and you've run out of houses
to sleep in too.

No I haven't.

Where do you stay now?
Still having an affair with George?

I mean Porgy, pudding and pie.

- Huh?
- You had an affair with Willy!

I never had an affair with Willy.

- My only...
- What about Rodney?

- Every time you and he...
- I have never slept with Rodney.

Every time he makes love to me,
he does everything else but.

- And he says it's time to sleep.
- I was gonna say that. Why?

Well, because I'm a fat fucking horse
and I'm a girl.

Why not try to change him,
straighten him out?

I'm not being a converter.

- What's the matter. Feeling alone?
- Not that... I just...

- But you got George. Any good?
- George Washington, yeah.

I see I'm going to start
throwing things my dear.

You know how heavy this is,
this silver paper?

This is where it all started. You can
put it up on the wall with staples...

- I'd better get out of here.
- No, come back here!

- No, I'm not coming back.
- Yes...

Yes.

We'll go off in the bathroom.

I'll sit on the tub

I'd like to go to the bathroom,
I have to pee...

on her... and pee, and pee,
and pee, and pee and pee.

I gave her such an O.D. My dear,
you wouldn't believe it.

If there's anyone gives her
a downer, I'll kill them.

She's gonna be up for weeks, then she
won't be sleeping in our houses.

She can sleep here, standing up.

They can't tell me what to do,

what I'm not supposed to say
and what I am supposed to say.

That's when I get fucked up.

If you hadn't told me, I would've
never have done it.

What is that thing?

I wanna play with it. Who is it?

Who is it?

Detective Fleming, or Brenda Marshall,
or the Port Authority Police?

One of the three that are after me.
One of the three.

Yesterday I went to a party
for the Stones...

I didn't go! Are you kidding?
Me go to a party for the Stones?

Are you insane?

My dear, I'm going to get
my own book. I'll read that.

What it's really about.
Would you get it for me?

Donnie, comb it a little... The lights
in this room are always so bright

It needs to be...
Something's happening here.

It's coming down. Give it a poke.

Come here and give it a poke. Get the
brush, my spray and all of our tools.

Let's do it the other way,
the way I used to wear it.

I'm gonna change.

Change first.

No, afterwards. Then you
can do it again.

- You don't have to stand like...
- Sit on the floor.

I have to sit on the floor,
it's so uncomfortable

because my stomach sticks out.
That's what's terrible.

How I can ride my bicycle so
my stomach doesn't show?

That's what's so awful with
my T-shirt in!

- You look great, Brigid.
- Are you kidding?

I swear I look like Dropout

and the others. I say I don't
have to wear a brassiere,

they're 2 mosquito bites.

Can I have a cigarette?
I wish people would smile.

- Where are you going?
- Where?

I'm peddling my wares
on my bicycle.

It's Heaven. I don't take anything
with me and my paranoia is even worse.

I carry nothing.

Last night I had a silver packet under
my belt: A present for Duke.

He closed last night, it became
too much for him.

Instead Gregory stole $41 out
of my pocket book.

You're putting on one of my
Lady Bryant bathrobes.

That looks better, and I'll get you
something better to wear.

What is that?

That's tacky... that's so you,
you can keep it, Ingrid!

I need a pill. Where's my
brown bag.

- Get it, she'll steal out of it.
- Which brown bag?

It's a manila envelope from
the office.

Here it is.

The police aren't here? They're
not just waiting for me to finish

are they Mike,
to take me in?

It's gone! Find the box of
downies, they're gone.

One nemisch...

one doriden. I don't dare take
that one till later.

I really don't.

I did that once at Rodney's,
I got into so much trouble.

Last week, you know what we did?
I was so paranoid

I threw 5,000 pills down the toilet.

Rodney and I went into the bathroom,
closed the door and said:

"Let's wait till they dissolve
and make a solution."

I focused on the toilet...
the colour...

B.L. Up at the studio would have
gone crazy.

I'll take the blue out of Alberstadts
like we used to do with Escatrols:

The down part out of the
retreators.

Where's the mirror?

- She broke it.
- Ingrid!

Will you please start cleaning up this
place? I told you every time...

that... Oh, yes.

- Are my eyes yellow?
- Want this paper your father runs?

- Of course, I haven't read it yet.

God, we got...

- You have no fucking cool at all!
- It's this year's though.

Fold that up into sixes.

That goes in the 3rd drawer.
I like that. Ingrid can have it.

Her pocket book is full of
junk and she sleeps with it

after she's goes to the bathroom
with it.

- What's in it?
- Nothing. Three pills.

Her stash for the week.

Hello... Yes

Who? Just a moment please.

Stella.

Telephone.

He's not here. No, he's in the
bathroom with Orione.

Nobody's here but me.

- Who is it?
- And Donnie

- Who you talking to?
- My hairdresser.

Is this Spanish Eddy?
Is this Spanish Eddy?

Or Johnny Cool?
I moved my stash

out of the air conditioner,
from underneath the ice box,

and Dropout took it in a shopping
bag on her handlebars

and dropped all my Phenobarbitals
on the sidewalk,

right in front of the cops...
but they didn't bother her.

I don't know if this evening... Can't
talk on the 'phone, I'm on the john.

Okay? Talk to you later.

- Who is it?
- I don't know.

Someone who wants something and
pretends they're someone else.

They know me from
the Masque days,

they all say that.
That's the killer.

Everybody knows you.

- I gotta take a downer.
- Don't!

I only have ten more for
the night.

Really, I mean... Pick up all the
glass on the floor.

Last week I cut my foot and
had to spend two hours

in St Vincent's Emergency Room
because of the glass in my foot.

All I got was a Band-Aid.

- How about the...
- Put some more spray on that.

- Ingrid?
- Yes

- I need the spray.
- Oh, there it is.

I've got to get up town.

You're doing my big wish:
Jane Hair!

Hello? Yes.

Anne who?

No... no... no...
no, they're not here.

They're coming... Loud and clear.

You'd hear them if they were here.

You wanna buy anything? Why?

- Put it in your hair...
- They went to the baths.

Don't worry, they'll be back.

I'll have him call you
if he calls me.

Know anyone who wants to buy
amphetamine. It's crystal clear...

like snow in January on the
windowpane. It's the end.

I'll be here at midnight, a quarter
of midnight. I'll be in the Figaro.

It's fantastic. I'll let you pay half
tonight, half tomorrow.

I have charges. It's very good.
It's chic that way.

What? 10 and 10 tomorrow.

Beautiful town, fantastic stuff.
You can see it first, try it first...

turn yourself on first.

What? Come down here to make
a movie? I hate movies!

The underground is not my scene.

Excuse me, I have a trick here that
causes me problems.

- Now, on here! Shut up!
- All right!

Jesus Christ. I can't turn my back
to answer the telephone.

She's into my dresser...

...into my clothes. And a size 4
doesn't fit into a size 22 and a half.

Who do you think it is? What girl
would look in her pockets for things?

You're right!

Anna fart-face!

Think New Jersey 1956.

She's sitting here very elegant
with her legs crossed.

I can't even cross mine if I don't
have a chair in front of me.

And with her hands crossed...

Given her any? Oh yes,
I gave her some,

but she's gonna get some more. She'll
get hers. It's gonna be bigger...

3 double superpower what?

Shut up, that's kid's stuff! They're
pink and grey and they're bad.

They're glorified Excedrin.

Pink and grey, red and grey,
all pink...

That's the same... those are Darthon
Compound 25.

Lousy shit!

There's Codeine, morphine, the
painkillers, Demerol. Those things...

What? The morphine?

No, I don't bother with people
who ask questions like that.

It's very dangerous.
I don't dig it.

I like people that are "up there".

Fine... so what time do you
want me to meet you?

Okay, groovy.

"Figaro". I'll be on my bike.

Okay. Oh, I've gotten thinner...

and I wear a smart jacket
that covers everything.

Where? I probably don't
know you.

Those fucking operators and their "A
nickel more for the next 40 seconds".

Is that what she said?
Good-bye. Wait a minute...

Ingrid's legs are in the air
again.

Hold on. Trying to look Egyptian?
You got one, two, three...

- I cut myself shaving my legs.
- You do that?

With what kind of a razor?
Not a "Lady Duet".

Hello. Who's this?

Well, this isn't her.
That's my name.

My name... oh well, I'm
with the New York Times...

a good newspaper.

- Get under!
- Get under there will you!

- Why don't you put the belt...
- You shut up too!

- You really look greater...
- What do you mean?

- It's just that... you know...

...you're so different.
- I'm like any other girl.

It's just the way you look after
work, so fresh, so rested.

- Everyone else is so haggard
- I didn't finished up completely.

There's still another nail
to be driven.

- Shall I warm things up for you?
- You do, Victor.

All right... I'll... take care of it.

Co-operate please.

- Let go off me!
- Shut up!

No, it is not on.

That's what I dig about you, Victor.
Everything you do,

every nail your drive, is always
with cunts in his face.

Where shall I put him?

Leave him there for the weekend.

What are you doing?

Musing.

- Shall we...
- That was left out. It was corny.

- Change the music.
- It's all right, it's done.

- Are you a music critic now?
- Are you posing, honey?

Yeah. Go on.

Oh, all right...

Will you take care of her?
She's out of place.

- You were on the radio...
- What are you doing?

What does it look like? Reading.

- Why?
- Because I want to.

- What are you reading?
- It's none of your business.

According to the title, it's "The
Wisdom of China and India".

That doesn't make any difference
either. If you don't like it...

I don't.

- How much?
- A dollar, 98.

- Oh, what a bargain.
- I don't like it.

- You don't like what?
- What you just did.

- When?
- What you just did with my book.

I didn't like what you were doing,
that's why I did it.

Doesn't make any difference.

- That's how the cookie crumbles!
- You shut up!

- Forget that.
- What?

- You screwed up anyway.
- When?

- You like these glasses?
- When?

- These glasses?
- They're mine.

Oh, they're yours!
I like them too.

Give them back please.

- Will you let go of my pants?
- No, I want my glasses back.

- I'll let go of your pants...
- "I'll let go of your pants..."

You may be tough,
but that wasn't.

You like those?

You can't read, you're imperfect!

You do that once more and I'm
gonna pull out all your nails.

Oh no, anything but that!

You all get my kicks seeing me
get my kicks.

We're happy that you
approve.

But you're not supposed to.
We're sadistic.

You're not supposed to
like it at all.

- I love it!
- Shut up!

If you love it, you're not doing
what you're supposed to.

We don't want you to love it.

You should be in there,
don't you think?

- Where did you put my book?
- I threw it across the room.

- I don't like it
- I'm trying to pick a fight with you.

Shut up!

Your not supposed to speak
that way to me.

- Why, Victor?
- Why what?

Why am I not supposed to
that way to you?

You're supposed to speak
that way to scum.

Why can't I speak that way
to you?

I didn't say you couldn't, I said
you're not supposed to.

But if I want to?

Then I suppose you'll do it
if you really want to.

But I should react to it in
the same way.

Then go ahead and react to it
in the same way.

If I felt ready I would,
but now I'm not, so...

What did you do that for?
Will you stop it? Stop it!

That's my little boy
getting his own way.

You obviously have no idea.

Obviously.

- I put it on.
- Shut up!

Why do you need make up, Victor?

'Cos I'm prettier with it.

You gave me what you gave
me before, and I'm taking it back!

- What was that?
- Make up for your acne.

Hello? Oh, Hello

Yes...
Yes...

Yes...

No, no...

Right. I though you said
Sunday.

Late? That's early.

Fine! Fine! Perfect!

Oh, yes, yes. Yes.

Yes you will.

Okay.

Are you all through?

- What does it look like?
- With your 'phone call.

- What does it look like?
- Are you all finished?

- What does it look like?
- Are you imitating me?

I think...

I think...

that you and I...

Should have it out!

I was waiting for that to happen.

Well, I'm really...

...not ready so...

you'll have to wait about
3 minutes...

Since I have every intention
of provoking a fight,

you'd better, because I won't
respond if you try to provoke it.

Would you be so kind as
to hand me that glass?

If not, I'll get it myself.

Go get it yourself!
Go get it yourself!

I heard you! I heard you!
Don't have to repeat yourself.

I think that green is very
effective.

Where did you get that idea?
It couldn't be yours.

Don't break my glasses!

An eye for an eye,
a tooth for a tooth!

Mary... are you a man?

Shut up!

Shut up or I'll pull out your nails.

Everything you do is so perfect.

Look at you, your hair is messed up.

- What have you done to me?
- Go fix your hair.

- I don't have to go anywhere.
- Go fix your hair.

I'm not gonna fix my hair,
but I'll fix this.

Get up, walk to the mirror

and fix your hair.

I can't see a thing!
I can't see a thing!

- Not even in your dreams.
- Fix it!

- The glass?
- No, your hair.

- I don't like her!
- I don't like you and you love it!

Oh I love it! I just love it!
I want more! More nails in my face!

Whirl round like a cyclone and
she'll take care of it for you.

No.

Come on, please! Puncture my skin
with that pointy nail!

- You have to work for it.
- You're kidding!

Shut up... Shut up!
Don't want to hear you any more.

- Hand me my brush please.
- Sure.

This is why I don't have to go
anywhere to fix my hair.

Hand me the 'phone please.

Would you answer it, please?

You wanna hear it ring more?
Is that why?

Or you're just being uncooperative?

Victor!

I promise I won't do it again.

They'll call back. I promise
I won't do it again.

Shut up!

Fresh blood for Baaloo.

You must be a recruit.

What d'ya have in mind?

Shut up!

Talk only when you're addressed.

- Yes ma'am.
- I said just shut up!

But ma'am, it's protocol

to inform your audience of the time
intervals with which we'll broadcast.

We broadcast every hour
on the hour.

Special bulletins are broadcast
at one in the morning.

I'll give you your
instructions now.

You'll answer all questions according
to the instructions you'll receive.

Failure to do so will result
in immediately...

You'll be removed from the premises
and taken to a premises

where you'll be further
re-instructed,

till you are enlightened enough

to answer the questions...
according to instructions.

Hello?

It's Hannah.

No, she just stepped out.

Could you call back? All right.

A thousand pardons for the
interruption.

Anyway, we'll go on here now.

- Ready for that?
- Yes, ma'am.

- Ma'am? You call madam.
- Yes, madam.

All right.

- Howdy folks!
- No, you don't begin yet.

All right, begin.

- Howdy folks!
- No! Not time.

Hello, Mr and Mrs America

and all the ships in the China Sea.
This is Hanoi Hannah,

your stay-at-home reporter,

bringing you the latest news
and developments

followed by a comprehensive report

from your most contemporary
magazine of the same nomenclature.

Our headline story today:

The consumer's market.

Fresh fruit is very reasonably
priced

and they are very good.
We suggest:

Pomegranates, Chinese apples
with 1.000 seeds of blood.

Today's specialty are
blue strawberries

and may we suggest for dinner:
Squash!

Now for our traffic report from
Satellite 7. Come in.

Hello down there, this is your
friendly Satellite 7.

I feel like an eagle today.

Shut up!

The Panama Canal today
is blocked.

We suggest alternative routes
round the Straits of Magellan.

Now further fancy in the news.
Thank you Satellite 7.

We'll catch you on your next
revolution around the earth.

There is a mass coming out party this
Saturday night at the Astor Hotel.

The purpose is

to express the collective
nature of the 60s.

For example:

2 heads are better than one.
4 or 5 being the going price.

For a listing of exactly
who's coming out,

see your reverse telephone
directory, pages 1,000 and one.

Or write to Hanoi Hannah,

Operation Hannibal, Elephant City
S.A.

And now, Joe...

I'm sure our audience is on
pins and needles to hear

what you have to say.

- Howdy folks!
- Shut up!

- Jesus...
- How've you been since arriving?

- What do you think of the weather?
- Sticky.

"Sticky"!
What is this Americanism?

You know... the heat...

What do you think about in this
sticky, lonely country?

- Home, right?
- That is very correct.

- What's your home like?
- Fucking dull.

No.

Your home is beautiful.
It's your home.

- Have you been there?
- It's your home, your home!

For a Hong Kong gal, you sure
do talk funny.

It's your home and you know it! We
asked what it's like? It's name?

- Skip it.
- We will skip nothing!

What's your home like?

To begin with... in Twin Precipices,
just as your coming off the road,

you see a precipice directly
to your left.

If you make an about face,
you'll see another...

- Identical to the one on your left.
- How do you know?

- It was very difficult.
- You're pretty smart aren't ya?

Shut up!

Yeah, I know. I'm small and
insignificant.

You were saying what
your home was like.

Well...

- What was your home like?
- It's just a void.

No! That's wrong!

What was your home like?

- Beautiful. And my girlfriend...
- Your home under the shaded elms.

- Wistoria
- Wisteria!

Your home under the shaded
wisteria.

Your mother standing
in the doorway,

your father there too.
All the friends you ever knew,

all the years true and blue.

You sure are something else.

- How do you know they're there?
- It's not me saying it, it's you!

Go ahead, you say it better
than I do.

Your girl, what was she like?

She was pretty, wasn't she?
Very pretty!

To tell you the truth...

- She was very pretty!
- She was very pretty.

Yes, go on.

Sometimes...

When we were drunk
she was pretty.

But when you wake
up and look across the bed...

oh God!

No! You're wrong.

Your girl was extremely pretty.

- She was?
- Yes.

- If you say so.
- You want to go home and see her.

You are worrying anxiously over
who is seeing her.

Over who is sleeping with her...

Are you kidding?
She sleeps alone...

You Americans are so naive.

Think she's waiting for you?

No, I 'aint lucky enough
to think she's not!

Her kisses were for Benny,
but her heart belonged to Joey.

A medal for Joey.

No, that's wrong!

That's what you think.

Answer according to the
instructions.

Your instructions.
Your instructions!

I can't wait to get home,
my girlfriend's waiting for me...

- More!
- I can't wait...

- to sleep with her in that bed.
- More!

Everything's so beautiful.
My parents miss me so much...

I hate it here and want to go home.

The wisteria! In the shade of
the wisteria!

It was cool and shady...

Your home's in the shade!

My home is under the shade
of the wisteria.

- Go on.
- It's shady...

- Your mother!
- My mother...

Your hometown was beautiful,
like your girlfriend, your mother.

Your father was beautiful.
All the friends you ever knew...

- standing in the doorway...
- Don't keep reminding me!

- You want to go home.
- I want to go home.

- Shut up, you're a ham.
- I wanna go home.

Stop for commercials: Did you
ever go into a luncheonette

and see that chicken salad and
tuna salad

are the same price? If they are,
don't buy them they're the same.

- Which?
- Neither.

- Asshole.
- We'll return you to your station.

- Probably a commercial.
- What would you like to be on?

A commercial.

You'd like the news to be on.

- That's what I said.
- You didn't say that.

- That's what I meant.
- We'll tell you the news...

if you tell us about anxious you.
Waiting for your girlfriend,

anxiously worrying about her.

Who's back home? Who's seeing her?
Who's sleeping with her? Tell us.

- I don't even care!
- Tell us who's sleeping with her.

- If you really want to know...
- Who is sleeping with her?

- Probably everybody in town.
- You ungrateful dog.

- And she was pretty? She was?
- Yes!

- You're mother was pretty?
- Charming, hospitable.

Where was she standing?
In the doorway!

- In the doorway!
- Shut up!

- Go on.
- My mother was standing...

- in the doorway.
- With who?

- Waiting for me with...
- With who?

- With who?
- Collage... ménage...

- With who?
- My mother.

- Don't get fresh.
- Everybody.

- Don't get fresh!
- Sisters, brothers, dogs, cats, rats.

People in general...

- You have fun with her?

- No
- Why not?

- 'Cos she disgusts me.
- Why?

- Because she's a piece of shit.
- Stand up, scum!

- Stand up!

- I can't!
- Stand up!

- I can't stand up!
- Stand up!

- I'm standing, what do you want!
- You look very nice, too skinny.

- You're a...
- Do not yell, please...

it hurts my eardrums.

- Well tough!
- Please...

I like the service here.

What is this about this...

...cabinet officer that you've
been dealing with.

I mean...

I thought that you, coming from the
other side as you do,

would be a natural member of the
Kennedy syndrome and not flirt

with members of... the successors
to the White House...

who've floated in on tides
of blood and bourbon.

You don't understand:
He's Irish!

How could you betray
your Irishness

by hustling up a member of
the Johnson administration?

I don't like the... menstruation?

You don't like the menstruation?

I don't like it.

The Johnson menstruation?
Pretty bloody, wouldn't you say?

- Bloody different.
- And not our scene at all...

- Right, I'd say.
- Why do you deal with these people?

- It's so easy.
- For their money?

It's so easy...

Oh, my goodness! It's our neighbour!

How are you? What've you
been doing?

Oh wonderful!

It's beautiful... She sings very
nicely, but...

- That'll give her some competition.
- There's no competition.

- What do you want?
- The best of everything.

- The best of nothing.
- And what do you want?

- I want my friend to be a...
- What does our neighbour want?

Ask what it's up to.

I think she might...

have another little ditty
to get out...

- You don't know what you're on about.
- I do know.

Are you accusing me of selfishness?

No. Well, a bit. You're a very
jealous person.

- No, I'm simply a property owner.
- Property of what?

What do you do? Oh, I don't know...

Why don't you tell my girlfriend?

I own that.

- What do you think?
- I'm just your neighbour...

...I can't really complain.
- We have no time for complaining,

or no time for explanations,
or no time for anything.

But we have time for you.

The only reason I drop over
is to drop.

You're being dropped...
as far as he goes.

I wasn't a drop out,

I graduated from school.

- Oh, really?
- In what?

In the graphic arts.

I graduated in physical science.

It's so easy, that...

you would just, you know...

I think you're a bit too
much, aren't you?

You don't know a thing.

- I know enough to...
- To what?

- Take care of you.
- I don't believe you do.

How do you deal with
people like me?

I take what belongs to me,
like this.

That's nice ass.

- It's the cutest ass around.
- The cutest ass in the whole city.

- Whatever you say.
- That's what they all say.

I don't know how true that is,
it's a rumour.

- Would you like to...
- It's a globular ass.

...like to admire her boobs
before she leaves?

I like your naked breasts
a whole lot.

Thank you. Would you like
to hear another song...

...before I go?
- Ask her for an aria.

What do you like to do?
Sit on it?

Aria da Capo.

What do you do for a living?
What do you do?

Keep house? What do you
like to do?

I'm just a housewife.

- Where's your husband?
- He's away.

- Away where?
- Sailing.

- Sailing?
- He's a sailor.

- He's on the China Sea.
- He's a sailor!

I love sailors!

I like it... I like it...

...she's good.

Give her a cup of sugar.

Give her a cup of sugar!

Give her the cup of sugar
she came for.

Get her out of here...
Get her out of here!

I wanna go to bed with her.

I know where I'm not wanted.
Good-bye.

Don't go.

This is a high-class rental area.

You did me out of broad.

- I really like that.
- You really got angry?

- Yes, really...
- yes, I know.

I can't see a thing...

...except me. That's all there
is to see.

My eyes can't focus

and my brain's just talking.

I am listening

and I can see me.

Looks pretty good.

Hair is so beautiful,

I can see so many things
through it.

All sorts of forms
through hair...

It breaks people down...
hair breaks people down

into all different sections.

Hair breaks people down
into all different sections.

All butch or all feminine.

Yes, we're all butch and
we're all feminine.

I usually talk to myself, but I
don't have anything to say.

I won't say anything, I'll sit
and goof on myself.

I could talk about having fun

and going out and
seeing people,

but then I could talk about
making a dress.

I could talk about eating
an apple,

but it's not much fun
to eat apples.

Apples should chew
themselves.

Like you bit on a woman's neck,
or you bite on a man's neck.

Apples are juicy...

reminds of sweat when
I taste apples.

Especially if you put salt on it,
then it really tastes like sweat.

Salt... moistens your lips.

Wish I had some salt on
an apple right now,

Or I could have sweat.

My sweat tastes nice.

I like the taste of my sweat.

I don't know, sweat's exciting.

Makes things slide so easily.

Sweat... it could form into anything
you want it to with lots of sweat.

Some people use baby oil

to lubricate their body,

yet the body gives off the best
lubricant in the world.

You just have to work to
make enough of it.

Sometimes you don't have
work hard at all,

Sometimes, the sweat just comes
by looking...

...looking at something that creates
a desire to make you sweat.

The desire to finish something.

Like, when some people draw,
they perspire... sweat...

...because they desire to finish
it in a hurry.

So they put all the energy
they have.

So in turn, they perspire.

"Perspire", such an easy word
to say...

it's such an easy...

easy word to say.

But it's one that didn't have
to be said.

I sit here and do it by myself...
I sweat also.

I could be walking on the hottest
day and I won't sweat a bit.

I can look in the mirror and
still not sweat.

When it's time to groove on myself,
I tend to sweat.

Sweat tastes different on all
different people.

Some people put powders
on their body

which change the taste
of the sweat.

Some people put oils, which really
change the taste of the sweat.

I just like sweat.

I hate when I get another
taste... chemical.

Sweat's a chemical... made up of
body substances.

I know 'cos I was pretty good
in biology.

It fascinated me... especially the
teacher. Exciting. She'd sweat a lot.

She'd sweat so easily.

Everybody tastes different.

We all taste pretty good.

My taste is pretty good.

This is my taste.

I wish I was a piece
of sweat,

or a drop of sweat being licked
by someone.

Creeping along their
neck

and having a tongue
pick me up.

Then being taken into the
body, completely in.

To go that far into someone's body,

that'd mean you were
all them,

or they were all you.

Whoever was the controller...

I guess they'd be all me,

because usually I'm
the controller.

I'm on the top, a nice
place to be.

Not too hard being on top.

Other people think they have
you were they want you,

but they don't know...

I'm getting awful hot,

so I think I'll take off my shirt.

I like taking off my clothes.

It feels as if I have nothing on,

which I don't when I take off
my clothes.

It's not only that I don't have
anything on,

it's just that... I'm completely free.

That's why I wear such light clothing
...that doesn't stick to the body.

That's why I like this. It's like
stockings... which is nice

It feels very good too.

Feels like your hair tingling
on your back.

I want my hair to be bouncy...

so I can go like that and feel
it fall down my back.

It gives me chills even
at this time.

I like chills. I like the way
they go through your body.

Y'know, I feel lots of chills.

I feel it when I play with my hair,
or I feel it when

someone else plays with my hair
or my ear...

Or any other part of my body.
It's very sensitive.

I'm very sensitive to touch.

I'll even take off my pants
so I can really feel clean.

I have nothing on,

not even a sandal.

I try to wear as less as possible,

so that I feel untouched by
anything, not only hands...

Sometimes I hate to be touched.

I cringe.

I feel like nothing.

Sometimes I like to be touched.

I feel like nothing...

but in a different sort of way.
Feels good.

I'm a great sandal maker.

The only thing is, trying to
get them off.

They feel so good on, but
they're a hassle to take off.

Easy to put on, but difficult
to take off.

I have these new sandals

so I can take them off easily.

I like things that come
off easily.

I like pants that come
off easily.

They just slide off
your body... down.

Ever just groove on your
own body?

On what's yours and doesn't
belong to anybody.

I can even make it move.

I like to feel I have nothing on.

I don't know. I like this
feeling here.

I feel secure because,

as naked as I am, I'm still
hot like this.

I have something that
no one can see.

Even if they see all of me,

they only see that, that
what's shown.

They don't see what's
inside there.

Nobody's seen. All covered over.

Nobody can see what's here...

...here or here.

It's good that nobody can see.

Even though they see your body,

they don't see anything because

what you have is inside.

That's the most important part...
They come off so easily.

I'll hold my shirt there.

If anyone's peeping...

they won't see me.

I can tie it like an Indian...

or Tarzan,

getting ready for the kill, to get
away from an ape or animal.

A jungle creature.

But that's not sexy.
I like looking sexy.

So people want me.

Some people want me if...

...I don't look sexy to them.

They just want me

'cos they think they know me.

They practice witchcraft,

they think they're demons.

They can bring out the best
in you.

They bring you to a meeting of
the spirit, of beyond...

They can only do as much for me
as I want them to.

As much as they believe in what's
there, and everybody up there,

I believe in what's in here.

I can do more for me believing
what's in there

than her, or her friends can do
believing in "them".

They believe in someone else.

I wonder if she ever thought
to believe in her self.

She says she's a goddess, that
she can speak to those beyond.

I wonder if she can speak
to herself.

She tells me she meditates for me,

to bring out the best in me.

I wonder if she ever meditates
for herself.

She thinks she's there. She tells
me that I'm not there yet...

that I have a lot more to go through.

She don't know I've been
here for a long time.

A very long time.

I know where I've been,

not as far as an existence

but in death.

It's not only existence...

...it's hard to say.

Not hard to say, but to explain
to others.

It's: "Where you at?"

You say: "I don't know,
I can't explain it".

You know where you're at,
you don't want them to know.

You don't want anyone to know.

Because if they knew,

you wouldn't have anything
to keep as a secret.

Anything to hide from
anybody.

You'd be out in the open,
where everyone could see.

I did have a hairbrush...

I don't wanna be out in the open,

I wanna be right here.

Even if I have to come my hair
down to hide my face.

It doesn't matter if people
see my face,

because the still can't see
what's in there.

They see what I want them to see.

Not very much,

but it's enough. Enough
for them to be happy with.

I let people see things that
will make 'em happy.

If I showed 'em everything inside...

...I might stutter a little, but
they'd get pretty bored.

Everybody listens to everybody
else's problems.

Even if I say I have none,
I have many.

Many for me to think about,
not for anyone else.

Course, people only listen
for so long.

I'll listen for the rest
of my life.

I'll play with my hair,

brush it by the hour,

let if go down my back so
I have sensual feelings,

tell people what I want
to tell them.

Make them happy,

make people wonder
about me.

Some say I'm a little funny.

I like when people think I'm
a little funny.

People used to think I was
a little funny...

...called me gay, queer.

I used to get upset,
but I don't anymore.

I know I'm not funny
in that way.

I may groove on having
sex with a gentleman,

that's not to me being gay.

It is to a lot of others,

but I think it's just having a
good time with someone.

Not only a good time.

But...

Forget about that.

I know where I'm at

and as I said, I'll only let you know
almost where I'm at.

You'll never know completely.

I'll play with them like a top.

Spin them around.

Play little games with them.
Enjoy them, let them enjoy me.

Going in a nice little circle.

You enjoy me and
I'll enjoy you.

We'll sing songs together.

We'll dance. I'll dance for you.

I'll sing for you.

Then one day...
you'll remember me.

You'll want me, but you
won't be able to have me.

I say you, but I mean who's
ever next.

I can play with many, and many
of them feel like me.

I know how to make people
enjoy me.

I know how to make
people happy.

I do what they want.

A friend of mine tells me
she knows all about me

and all that, but she don't
really know.

She's just trying to act
a little different.

I'll play with her, let her
have fun.

Tell her: "Yes, you know
where I'm at.

Help me get to where you
want me to be faster...

I'll be happy there."

When she's gone, I laugh
about it.

I let people think they have me
where they want me.

Sometimes I'm depressed about it.

Sometimes they notice it, but I tell
'em it's something else.

But if I care for them,

I say that even if I'm not
happy with them.

I'm happy with them
for a while,

but then it gets too much and I
have to get up and leave.

For a while they feel bad,
for a long while.

They feel real bad.

They shake their heads,
try to forget about me,

but I'm not too easy to
forget about.

I'm a person that lingers
in someone's mind.

Once they've had me, it's hard
to do without.

People see me and go:

"He must be insane to walk
around looking like that,

is he a girl?"

But when I get my chance,

I take them close to me,

I treat them real nice...

...just like they want to be treated,
and they love it.

Then, when they love it
too much...

I'm on? All right.

Is it loud enough? Good.

I'm not sure, but I gotta do...

I have take my belt off,
'cos I have to use it.

John? All right, I'm on.

Come on.

It's hard to talk, I'll tell ya.

Go to sleep? Paul, shut up!

I don't think I'll say a word.
Don't think I can.

Just do different...

What am I supposed to do?
All right,

but I'm not gonna for this camera.
It's private. Did you bring...

You fuck!

You lousy bastard, you!

That's my last outburst.

All right, let's talk about me.

She's asleep Paul...
I'd love a drink, yes.

I know that and it hurts.
Being the Pope isn't easy,

bit it isn't hard either.
Just something you are.

It's hard... you know...
I mean... um...

All right.

I'm not going to think about my
philosophy as Pope. No, thank you.

I'm just... suffice to say...

it's been a horrible gruel,
all the way.

I haven't had one moment's
good time,

I've been working... absolutely...
Something's staring at me over here.

I've been absolutely grinding...
I don't wanna be Pope,

I wasn't elected Pope for myself,
but for the people.

We have no people left,
they're all gone.

The Catholic Church has
disappeared, Greenwich Village

is in its place.
Free Bohemia, 1954.

It says's that, I think.

What did you offer me? I wanted some
soda, carbon dioxide bubbles.

Thank you, anyway.

The war. It was horrible.

The war between Vatican states,
it was just tragic.

What war? The war that's on now?
You mean Vietnam?

Good heavens, why?
It's a joke.

I wouldn't bother with it.
Lyndon Johnson is the joke

behind it... Forget it.
I began as Pope

by being elected first of all...
the people...

I... I didn't come here to talk
about being Pope.

I came here to let you people
get an inside view...

a close... a close relationship
to the Pope and his feelings.

But not as Pope, as a man.

We'll leave my papal
throne alone,

and talk about what I like
as a person, all right?

I'm no different than
any other man.

I have more free choice.

I exercise it with a... as little
discipline...

I should say, as I
possibly can,

which is good discipline
in itself.

But as a man I have wants,
desires, hopes, fears,

like any other man.
I don't want a family,

I just want to be... true to my...
flock.

Whoever they may be.
My flock consists of:

Homosexuals... What's this,
ice water? Thank you.

Perverts of any kind, thieves...

What? Who? What did she say?

Thieves, criminals of any sort...

The rejected by society, okay?

That's who I'm Pope for.
For the few who really care.

I'm willing to hear anybody's
confession, Paul.

Anyone who wants to confess
may confess.

I'm just a priest after all,
besides being Pope.

What kind of cigarettes are those?
No, I thought they were Gauloises.

This is not heard off,

you don't make up sins
to confess them.

Do you have any sins,
any stains?

Well then, you don't have
anything to confess.

Your name is Grace?
Well then...

What else is there?
Yes, my family...

I have a mother and father,
two older sisters,

I have a few relatives who work
in the garment industry...

and... one bookie,

but I'm all right. What are you
doing with that cork? Open it.

Send someone to confess.

I feel like hearing a confession.
The Pope is insatiable.

Give me a confession!
I want a confession, and now!

Come here young lady and
confess. You'll feel better.

Be reverent! At all times.

Don't kneel, I'm just your father.

What's troubling you?

You smell nice, what is it?

- The sacred that was in the...
- What's the name of it?

I think it's called patchouli.
Can I sit on that?

- By all means.
- Pull that chair out.

- Quickly.
- Thank you, sir.

- The cameras are rolling.
- Camera?

Cameras in a church?

- Oh my God. That's kind of scary.
- No, it's the American way.

- Is this your water?
- Yes. Nothing in it?

- Oh Father, I must confess...
- All right.

Father, I have this tremendous
love in my heart for Jesus Christ.

Can I have the water back?
That's good, my daughter.

The problem is it's a very low
kind of love.

- Low? Sexual?
- Yes.

- He was handsome...
- I don't know what to do...

- Blow him!
- You see, the problem is...

It's as simple as that. Go right
down on an image.

- Right down on an image.
- I'll be freed forever?

Yes, but you must be able
to work out your fantasies.

But the problem is he's not real.

That's the problem, he's not
a real man.

- Yes, he is.
- No, he's not.

Yes, he is. You just have to
believe in the image.

Go up to the nearest image of
Christ, particularly

the ones on the cross...
'cos he's groovier there.

Kneel down and peel away
the loincloth in your mind

and go about your business.
Whatever...

- You'll have a wonderful time.
- But Father, the Bible says...

- Says nothing about that.
...to suppress those things...

...because they're not good.
- If you cannot deal with them.

It says suppress what
you can't deal with.

You said go through with
something that's not real.

I'm telling you to use your mind.
The mind is all.

- Father?
- Yes, I'm a...

- You?
- Of course, the mind is everything.

- Is all that true?
- Sure, honey.

I'm in the wrong place, I thought
you believed in the soul.

- The soul is the mind.
- The soul is the mind?

- Yes!
- That's terrible!

- The mind is a string bean.
- God!

If you believe that, you're
not gonna get very far.

I don't wanna get very far,
I wanna put you in Heaven.

- Me, in Heaven?
- That's what I'm here for.

To lead my flock to eternal
bliss.

- Where is Heaven?
- You figure it out, Mary.

I'll give you a map. Where is
Heaven? On my shoulder!

I don't want to go to Heaven.
I wanna stay here.

- Leave the confessional.
- I'm not finished.

- Time's up, but go on.
- Can I have some water?

Yes... Someone's trying to break
into the church. Hear that?

- I'd like to...
- A new... a new...

...confess about my disrespect
for your wisdom.

That's all right, everyone's
sceptical.

It's not scepticism, it's just...

- I think you're a phoney!
- So are you, worse than me.

- You're a real, real phoney!
- You're trying to be the Pope.

Get off here. Now who's the phoney,
my dear? Now leave!

Before I tarnish the rest of
your filthy image.

Get out of here! Get out!
Get out, you creep!

Supposed to be Little Miss
Wonder? You're a bore!

A bore! A bore! You filthy
horror! How dare you?

How dare you? You motherfucker!
I'm a phoney? So are you!

- Admit it!
- Stop it!

- Admit it!
- Get your hands off me!

- My hands are off you, lousy creep!
- Get your hands off me!

I'll do violence all right!
You miserable phoney!

Miserable phoney!
Look what you are!

Who needs your bore?

I'm sorry, but that's a fucking
bore! Little Miss Phoney!

I hit you with my vested
hand, you dumb bitch.

How dare you come on a set
and tell me I'm phoney!

I'm gonna smash her face in,
that cunt!

Who the fuck do you think
you are?

You dumb bitch! You're
a poor fool!

I really sick of that...

You know what she had the nerve
to do? Audience of mine?

She came onto my set as a friend
who didn't know what to do,

and said I was a phoney.
Well, fuck her!

I'll beat her up again, and her
husband and anyone else

who comes on my time and tells
me what I am!

How dare they? Posing as if I'm
posing something.

Why don't you pose downtown, Miss?

Remember my birthday?
June 15th 1937, you whore!

Only whores have a heart, you bitch,
and you don't!

Why not raise a dog, fool!

God forgive her and all like
her who pretend to do good

in the name of good because they are
not good. They're phoney miseries.

I really don't want to go on.

Miserable bitch! I hope you're
satisfied till the day you die.

Creepy worm. And your husband,
you poor fool!

What's that about tea? No I don't
want it. Come and get me.

She's ruined the whole set.
You ruined everything!

Who are you? Who are you?

Who? Nothing but a whore!

I'm so mad!

You talk about soul, what
do you know about soul?

Ever seen a person's soul?

Ever seen a person's soul?
Dumb bitch! God dam no one!

God forgive you, my dear, 'cos
you don't know what love is.

- And you never will!
- Stop taking advantage...

I'm so mad!

Fuck this!

Get a cup of Coke.

- I'm so angry.
- Scream.

I won't touch her ever again.

The next one must be authentic.

Anybody... anybody who doesn't
punish what they consider wrong,

condones it.
I punish it,

if I can see it.
This is the wrong of all wrongs.

To come in as a friend and do evil.

I think it's the most disgusting thing
a human being can do.

I... I have never been able to do it,
and never will be.

I am a violent person, all right.

But I do violence for an immediate
situation, not preparedly,

believe me. I never prepare
anything. I never would.

The only other thing I can say is
this maybe a hysteric document.

I don't like to hit people,
I don't like people to hit me.

I think it's ugly and boring,

but when I see something
stupid

sitting here and pretending...
I have to reel out.

I have to hit it, because
it deserves to put in it's place,

and its place is below me.

Somewhere where it doesn't
want to be a human,

it wants to be a little smarter.
God forgive them.

Me, I forgive them. That's all.

I don't know if it's the same
girl I think it is,

but I think it's the Saint's wife.

He's supposed to know about
movies, he'd better be sharp.

Pepsi is really preferable.

There's nothing I can do.
Idolise me, go right ahead.

I'm violence itself, but I'm not
at all, really.

Only... I can't help it, Paul.

You realise the innocence with
which you sent her in here?

"I don't know what to confess"...
Then did you see that?

It's a document. It will remain.
Be praised.

I knew it would be big though.

I adore myself, I can't bear it.

Oh, idolatry!

All right, now it's my set.

I'm supposed to interview
a girl on a bicycle...

a rather large girl
named Brigid.

She didn't show up. I think
her bike must've...

Let me say one thing: I'm sorry
for any physical injury

I inflicted.
Her face is rather red.

I hope I can say to her in
honesty:

"I'm sorry for attacking you".
If I can, I'll feel better.

The words are: "I'm the real
phoney". That's what she said.

I'm not trying to be anybody.

Does she think I'm really
the Pope?

Shut up! It isn't your turn!
Shut up! You'll get more!

You know why I hit you,
you dumb bitch!

Now shut up...
I'll sue you...

...and your filthy husband!
Now shut up!

For evil intent and maliciousness.

For wilful and horrid
defilement, you fool.

You're undermining your very
existence, you moron!

I hope it's over because
I'm sick of it.

I'm tired. I'd like to go home
and jerk off or something,

I don't know. Something sweet.

Or watch a rerun of
"The Lucille Ball Show"...

I feel a little grand,
being a faggot.

Well, I'm homosexual by choice.

Somebody... whispered something
to me and I didn't hear it.

He's a faggot. Part of a selected
group, anyway.

Proctor & Gamble,
full of them.

Every time I turn round I start
to quiver.

I'm starting to sweat, that means I'm
feeling better. See this necklace?

It's called... art.

Oh, well...

...it's various things:
Pubic hairs and what have you.

Raisons, cigars, cigarettes...

This is really just...

you're seeing me at it's best.

I'm too economical to go
on too long. Cut it short.

Can I say good-bye? No.

Five? What shall we do?

Watch what I do.

I'm using myself. I'm a performer
becoming something else.

What can I do now?
I couldn't take another...

See how amazing that injection
was? Might be the light.

Know where this belongs?
I'll give you one guess.

You're right. You've done it
again. America's smart.

You know, all my rings.

Give me a suggestion. What should
I do? Comb my hair? No.

Talk about Maria Callas?

My mother? The blessed Virgin?

Doctor Soak? Brigid Berlin?
Oh, no.

No, you know. O-R-l-O-N.

Small, geeky.
W-l-N-T-E-R...

Haven't talked about her.

If she's come in here I would,
but she won't.

She's vile, beyond hope.

You two look great together.

I remember that...

this is Norman Almond.

Look at your eyes... while you're
holding the microphone.

You've got that...
whatsisname...

oh boy, everything...

What can I sing? "Valentine
Blue"? Oh, can I go?

Three minutes.

Someone draw me something.

Shall I speak about the
mayor's voice?

One of the loveliest soprano
voices I've ever known.

Should be out there by now.

What else should I say? I can't
think. I'm annoyed at this thing

and my participation... even though
my participation was perfect.

Hello, dear.

Isn't it pretty?

Want to tell me something?
Want to confess something?

I'm sorry my frock's
been dirtied...

...but I got mad.
- I know a game.

- What do you want to play?
- You don't want things to be happy

You don't want things to be happy.

Let's arm wrestle.

- I'm left-handed. Can we change?
- Oh, I can't. My...

My...

That's a pretty garland.

I think Norman made it.
I don't know what with,

but they're nice hanging
from the window.

- I could use one.
- When?

- Day after tomorrow.
- Oh, you mean Thursday?

Sure.

- It's not funny.
- I'll laugh when I want.

- How lovely.
- They're glass.

- Will you give them me?
- I don't think so.

- Want some Coke?
- Oh, thanks.

Slip into it any way
you please.

I guess it's two more
minutes. Tell me about school.

- Can I touch you with the bottle?
- Wonder what you'll do...

- I put it in my...
- Right.

- You think?
- Good heavens, my pyjamas...

...my syringe...
I'll rinse it out with Coke.

- It works, I tell you.
- It scares me.

The hypodermic? Oh, it's so
easy to work. Nothing to it.

Needles scare a lot of people.
There's nothing scary about it,

actually, it's the most scientific
way of getting a drug.

The most... if you want...

Besides the rush involved is
really worth it.

- Depends what you got in it.
- Oh yeah.

If you're shooting up heroin,
don't bother.

- Coke, I wouldn't touch Coke.
- Cocaine is wonderful.

- No, Coca-cola.
- You don't shoot up Coca-cola.

Water gun.

When you do that thing...

Transfusion for the monster...

By the way,
"The Bride of Frankenstein"

is the greatest movie ever
made. Just fabulous.

Isn't it?