Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,406 --> 00:00:03,497
[AS WAGNER'S "BRIDAL MARCH"]
Here comes the bachelor,
2
00:00:03,532 --> 00:00:06,543
all dressed in my nice jacket
I only wear for special events.
3
00:00:06,568 --> 00:00:08,790
- Oh, you're already on fire.
- Thank you, my friend.
4
00:00:08,836 --> 00:00:10,770
And gentlemen, welcome
to my bachelor party.
5
00:00:10,795 --> 00:00:12,497
This is the elite party squad.
6
00:00:12,544 --> 00:00:14,674
That is, assuming the captain
is ready to let loose?
7
00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:15,974
- Captain?
- I don't think so.
8
00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,613
I want you guys to think
of me as one of the boys.
9
00:00:17,637 --> 00:00:20,572
So tonight I'll be swapping
out my captain's hat for my...
10
00:00:21,349 --> 00:00:23,683
Kangol hat. Call me Raymond.
11
00:00:23,718 --> 00:00:25,303
Okay, Raymond in the Kangol hat, I will
12
00:00:25,328 --> 00:00:26,898
definitely call you Raymond,
Raymond in the Kangol hat.
13
00:00:26,922 --> 00:00:28,431
- This is the best night of my life.
- Mine too.
14
00:00:28,455 --> 00:00:30,633
Sharon gave me permission
to get ♪ wasted. ♪
15
00:00:30,658 --> 00:00:31,953
She's even putting a pasta pot
16
00:00:31,978 --> 00:00:33,663
- next to the bed in case I hurl.
- Smart.
17
00:00:33,688 --> 00:00:36,038
I'm definitely putting a pasta
pot on our wedding registry.
18
00:00:36,063 --> 00:00:37,789
Charles, tell us everything
we're doing tonight.
19
00:00:37,813 --> 00:00:39,311
Well, that could take a long time.
20
00:00:39,349 --> 00:00:41,749
I've been planning this
bachelor party for ten years.
21
00:00:41,803 --> 00:00:43,200
But I met Amy eight years ago.
22
00:00:43,225 --> 00:00:44,334
What does she have to do with this?
23
00:00:44,358 --> 00:00:45,591
JK. I'm happy for you both.
24
00:00:45,616 --> 00:00:48,283
No, no, tonight is about
25
00:00:48,343 --> 00:00:50,309
creating a bond that will last forever.
26
00:00:50,345 --> 00:00:52,778
Tonight is about The Batch Boys.
27
00:00:52,814 --> 00:00:54,413
Eh, we can brainstorm the name later.
28
00:00:54,449 --> 00:00:56,816
No, we can't because I
already made fanny packs.
29
00:00:56,851 --> 00:00:58,284
Ah, well, that settles that.
30
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:01,023
- This, uh, clearly says "Bach Boys."
- No, it's "batch."
31
00:01:01,048 --> 00:01:02,582
You know, like the
beginning of "bachelor."
32
00:01:02,606 --> 00:01:04,242
I've been working on this for
ten years... don't ruin it!
33
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,866
Okay, so let's fanny up, Batch Boys,
34
00:01:06,891 --> 00:01:08,234
because it's time to party.
35
00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:09,984
- Whoop whoop!
- Yes.
36
00:01:10,732 --> 00:01:12,698
Whoop whoop, Raymond in the Kangol.
37
00:01:12,767 --> 00:01:14,567
[SOFTLY] Let's go.
38
00:01:14,602 --> 00:01:17,570
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
39
00:01:17,605 --> 00:01:24,577
♪ ♪
40
00:01:34,897 --> 00:01:36,767
I'm so excited for tonight.
41
00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:39,745
Thank you to my best friend,
Kylie, for organizing this.
42
00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,881
And thank you for coming, ladies
43
00:01:41,906 --> 00:01:43,039
and gentlemen.
44
00:01:43,064 --> 00:01:44,575
I still don't get why you guys are here.
45
00:01:44,599 --> 00:01:45,765
Well, as I understand it, Amy
46
00:01:45,790 --> 00:01:47,540
- lost some sort of bet with Jake.
- It's true.
47
00:01:47,564 --> 00:01:49,172
In hindsight, we should probably stop
48
00:01:49,197 --> 00:01:51,351
making major decisions
through bets and competitions.
49
00:01:51,406 --> 00:01:53,136
More importantly,
why are you guys dressed like that?
50
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,540
You look like you're on "Empire."
51
00:01:54,575 --> 00:01:56,709
- That's what we were going for.
- Drip drop.
52
00:01:56,744 --> 00:01:57,788
We brought you a little gift.
53
00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:59,068
I had to guess on cup size.
54
00:01:59,093 --> 00:02:00,791
- Just gonna burn that for you.
- Thank you.
55
00:02:00,815 --> 00:02:02,915
Amy, I too have a gift, okay?
56
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:05,525
Tonight, until the stroke of midnight,
57
00:02:05,557 --> 00:02:08,197
I will not make fun of
you in any way at all,
58
00:02:08,673 --> 00:02:10,623
- no matter what.
- That is so sweet.
59
00:02:10,658 --> 00:02:12,150
And my gift to you
60
00:02:12,184 --> 00:02:15,837
is a cray-cray night of funky fun!
61
00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:18,364
I fear I've already made the
biggest mistake of my life.
62
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,499
[CLEARS THROAT] So, Kylie.
63
00:02:20,535 --> 00:02:21,945
What's the first event of the night?
64
00:02:21,969 --> 00:02:24,313
I thought we'd start by
discussing the etymology
65
00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:26,003
of the word "bachelorette."
66
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:27,183
Whoo-whoo!
67
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:28,691
Or we could just play
"Never Have I Ever."
68
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:29,806
- Maybe later?
- I'll start.
69
00:02:29,831 --> 00:02:30,866
Never have I ever
70
00:02:30,971 --> 00:02:32,686
flashed a bartender to get a free drink.
71
00:02:34,582 --> 00:02:36,382
You guys know how the game works, right?
72
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:37,691
You drink if you have done it.
73
00:02:37,716 --> 00:02:39,716
- Oh.
- We understand.
74
00:02:40,282 --> 00:02:44,550
Okay, Batch Boys,
the festivities official begin now.
75
00:02:44,575 --> 00:02:46,408
Let's just grab a couple cabs or...
76
00:02:46,435 --> 00:02:49,002
Oh, my God. What do we have here?
77
00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:50,113
- Damn!
- [HORN HONKS]
78
00:02:50,138 --> 00:02:52,040
- Nice work on the limo, Charles.
- [TIRES SCREECH]
79
00:02:52,064 --> 00:02:53,110
What...
80
00:02:53,899 --> 00:02:56,048
- What just happened?
- Well, that was weird.
81
00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:57,493
A suspicious bag.
82
00:02:57,518 --> 00:02:58,843
Maybe we should see what's in it?
83
00:02:58,868 --> 00:02:59,996
- Ooh.
- A mystery bag.
84
00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:01,754
I hope it's got those
light-up necklaces.
85
00:03:01,780 --> 00:03:04,106
People love seeing large groups
of drunk men wearing those.
86
00:03:04,152 --> 00:03:06,117
- Nope.
- It's a bunch of school supplies.
87
00:03:06,461 --> 00:03:08,688
Is this gonna be one of
those scavenger hunts, Boyle?
88
00:03:08,713 --> 00:03:10,395
'Cause that pasta pot
isn't filling itself.
89
00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,466
- Come on, Terry.
- Let's just see what the plan is.
90
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:14,653
- Charles, what are we doing?
- I don't know anything about it.
91
00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:17,867
But why don't we take
this map and this sextant
92
00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:20,192
and chart a course to the restaurant?
93
00:03:20,228 --> 00:03:21,829
Title of your sex-tant tape.
94
00:03:21,854 --> 00:03:23,064
Ah, did not work at all,
95
00:03:23,089 --> 00:03:24,430
but I love that you attempted it.
96
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,631
Title of your sex-tant tape.
97
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:26,799
All right, let's go!
98
00:03:26,834 --> 00:03:28,200
Never have I ever
99
00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:30,995
had sex in the back of a car.
100
00:03:31,372 --> 00:03:32,938
- No way.
- Everyone's done that?
101
00:03:32,974 --> 00:03:34,176
- Yeah.
- Except for you.
102
00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:36,487
Kylie, you're telling me you
had sex in the back of a car?
103
00:03:36,512 --> 00:03:37,843
Actually, it was a school bus,
104
00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:39,712
on the way back from Model U.N.
105
00:03:39,747 --> 00:03:41,160
with Myanmar.
106
00:03:41,207 --> 00:03:42,515
It's like I don't even know you.
107
00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:44,276
Look, we've done like
nine rounds of this,
108
00:03:44,301 --> 00:03:45,494
and you haven't drunk once.
109
00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:47,501
Maybe we should play something else
that actually gets you drunk.
110
00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:49,259
I love you, dude,
but you haven't had the craziest life.
111
00:03:49,283 --> 00:03:51,183
- That's not true.
- I've done stuff.
112
00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:53,482
Just say ones that are
a little less wild.
113
00:03:53,507 --> 00:03:56,146
Uh, never have I ever made
a turn without signaling.
114
00:03:56,178 --> 00:03:57,199
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
115
00:03:57,224 --> 00:03:59,842
Okay, a turn is a big deal.
116
00:03:59,867 --> 00:04:01,472
It's not like you said,
never have I ever
117
00:04:01,497 --> 00:04:02,823
changed lanes without signaling.
118
00:04:02,848 --> 00:04:04,916
Never have I ever changed
lanes without signaling.
119
00:04:05,451 --> 00:04:07,250
You guys are insane!
120
00:04:07,575 --> 00:04:09,039
Never have I ever
121
00:04:09,064 --> 00:04:11,368
accepted the terms and
conditions without reading them.
122
00:04:11,393 --> 00:04:12,564
It's too risky.
123
00:04:12,589 --> 00:04:14,243
Left a movie without
watching the credits.
124
00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:15,800
Those people worked hard.
125
00:04:15,825 --> 00:04:19,259
Used more than the recommended
amount of conditioner.
126
00:04:19,284 --> 00:04:21,813
- They make the conditioner.
- They know what they're doing.
127
00:04:21,838 --> 00:04:23,427
- This is lame.
- Let's play something else.
128
00:04:23,451 --> 00:04:24,990
No. No-no-no, okay.
129
00:04:25,026 --> 00:04:26,534
Never have I ever
130
00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,277
had a one-night stand
with a guy from a band.
131
00:04:29,324 --> 00:04:30,996
Whoops! Yes, I have!
132
00:04:31,032 --> 00:04:34,466
- Whoa, I am V impressed, Amy.
- V impressed.
133
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,830
In fact, Kylie,
134
00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:37,636
it was the lead singer
of your wedding band.
135
00:04:37,671 --> 00:04:38,971
Boom! That's right.
136
00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:40,539
I'm a wild girl!
137
00:04:40,574 --> 00:04:42,141
Watch out, Madonna. [LAUGHS]
138
00:04:42,176 --> 00:04:45,213
Uh, Ames? I told Jake that
you really liked that band
139
00:04:45,258 --> 00:04:47,391
and he booked it for your
wedding as a surprise.
140
00:04:47,615 --> 00:04:49,014
What?
141
00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,718
[SOFTLY] Surprise!
142
00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,819
So, according to this map,
143
00:04:53,854 --> 00:04:56,505
the restaurant should be right here.
144
00:04:56,619 --> 00:04:58,419
But it's just an old abandoned building.
145
00:04:58,444 --> 00:05:00,294
- That's odd.
- Unless...
146
00:05:00,728 --> 00:05:03,169
You don't think when the sun sets that
147
00:05:03,194 --> 00:05:06,131
certain letters on that graffiti
wall will be illuminated
148
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,633
by a shaft of light?
149
00:05:07,668 --> 00:05:10,073
I don't think that.
We've been at this bachelor party
150
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,580
for over an hour, wandering
around aimlessly
151
00:05:12,606 --> 00:05:14,973
and we haven't done one
bachelor party thing!
152
00:05:15,009 --> 00:05:17,609
Well, Terry, if you'd like,
I could share a lewd story.
153
00:05:17,645 --> 00:05:19,478
Kevin got me quite horny this morning.
154
00:05:19,513 --> 00:05:20,612
[LAUGHS] Oh, see?
155
00:05:20,648 --> 00:05:22,714
- Come on, guys.
- I'm hungry!
156
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:24,404
Oh, you're in luck; the fanny pack
157
00:05:24,429 --> 00:05:25,771
is filled with granola.
158
00:05:26,294 --> 00:05:29,411
Mmm! Loose granola.
159
00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,690
I don't want fanny granola!
160
00:05:31,725 --> 00:05:33,469
I want steaks and whiskey!
161
00:05:33,494 --> 00:05:35,157
Is this whole night
just gonna be puzzles?
162
00:05:35,182 --> 00:05:37,015
- Good question.
- Perhaps that's something
163
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,774
- the limo can answer!
- [TIRES SCREECH]
164
00:05:38,799 --> 00:05:40,165
- Oh.
- Oh, yes, the limo's back!
165
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,824
We finally get to ride in the limo.
166
00:05:41,849 --> 00:05:43,613
Nope. The limo is not for us.
This is something else.
167
00:05:43,637 --> 00:05:45,037
Oh, no, I'm being kidnapped!
168
00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:48,807
We have your friend!
Your mission is to find him!
169
00:05:48,843 --> 00:05:50,320
Is that a Serbian accent?
170
00:05:50,345 --> 00:05:51,677
It is. Write that down for later.
171
00:05:51,712 --> 00:05:53,445
Oh! I'll see you in six hours.
172
00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:54,713
Six hours?
173
00:05:54,748 --> 00:05:57,116
Joe, let us get in the limo, please!
174
00:05:57,151 --> 00:05:58,884
Terry's so hungry!
175
00:05:59,114 --> 00:06:00,756
No!
176
00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:06,459
Okay, let's not get
discouraged just because...
177
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:08,193
We've been doing this for 93 minutes
178
00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,985
and we haven't figured
out one damn clue.
179
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,753
That's why I said to
not get discouraged.
180
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:14,089
All right, what about book two?
Maybe it's a code.
181
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,529
All we have to do is decipher
182
00:06:15,554 --> 00:06:17,169
this list of thousands
of random numbers.
183
00:06:17,201 --> 00:06:19,795
Huh, I wonder if one of them is... 6-9?
184
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,513
Pretty sure he means
69, but I'm so hungry
185
00:06:21,538 --> 00:06:23,155
I can't even appreciate horndog Raymond.
186
00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,672
I say we bail on the scavenger hunt.
187
00:06:24,697 --> 00:06:26,495
There's a restaurant one block away that
188
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,316
rolls meat to you on a cart.
189
00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:30,386
Charles would be so upset if we bailed.
190
00:06:30,425 --> 00:06:31,681
But what if Charles never knew?
191
00:06:31,706 --> 00:06:33,153
If we can figure out
where he's going to be
192
00:06:33,177 --> 00:06:34,621
at the end of the night,
we don't have to do
193
00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:36,451
- any of his dumb puzzles.
- Right.
194
00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:37,821
Instead, we can spend the next six hours
195
00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:39,111
eating and drinking and
196
00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:40,880
talking about how we lost our V cards.
197
00:06:40,911 --> 00:06:42,779
And then we show up
at the final location
198
00:06:42,804 --> 00:06:44,236
and pretend we did the stupid hunt.
199
00:06:44,261 --> 00:06:45,883
- Yeah-yeah...
- Interesting.
200
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,062
All right, I'm not saying
I'm on board with this
201
00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:50,093
'cause it's a little bit cruel,
but hypothetically,
202
00:06:50,127 --> 00:06:51,693
- if we were to cheat...
- Got it.
203
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:53,028
I hacked his email.
204
00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:54,963
His password's really easy to guess.
205
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,105
[TOGETHER] "Dianne Wiest."
206
00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:57,291
And look here.
207
00:06:57,382 --> 00:06:59,402
There's a receipt for
a party boat rental
208
00:06:59,427 --> 00:07:01,105
and also a cake delivery
209
00:07:01,138 --> 00:07:02,871
to a dock down in Bergen Beach.
210
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:04,639
That's got to be where this night ends.
211
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,720
All right, fine.
212
00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:07,986
We will stop and get
one tiny, little snack
213
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,744
just to recharge our brains and bods,
214
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,662
but under no circumstances will we
215
00:07:11,687 --> 00:07:14,187
do any bachelor partying
without Charles.
216
00:07:14,318 --> 00:07:16,284
Whoo! I'm getting married!
217
00:07:16,441 --> 00:07:18,787
- This is my bachelor party!
- [CHUCKLES]
218
00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:20,055
You guys, I can't have
219
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:22,082
some rando one-night
stand at my wedding.
220
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,506
I'm on the band's website.
221
00:07:23,623 --> 00:07:25,222
Not to tease you, but
222
00:07:25,329 --> 00:07:27,767
just so we all have the
complete information.
223
00:07:28,065 --> 00:07:30,082
- Which one is he?
- Constantine Kane.
224
00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,175
Yes.
225
00:07:32,230 --> 00:07:33,301
I see.
226
00:07:33,337 --> 00:07:34,769
Why don't you just cancel the band?
227
00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:36,204
If I cancel, I'll have to
228
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,364
tell Jake why, and I
don't want to do that.
229
00:07:38,389 --> 00:07:40,752
Well, it says he's playing a
solo show in Bed-Stuy tonight.
230
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:42,211
We can just go down there and ask him
231
00:07:42,235 --> 00:07:43,756
- to pull out of the wedding.
- I don't know.
232
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,852
Tonight was supposed to
be about us bonding,
233
00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:48,016
and instead, it's just starting
to be about some dude.
234
00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:50,152
No, it's about your
bachelorettes having your back.
235
00:07:50,187 --> 00:07:51,562
But I wanted tonight to be fun.
236
00:07:51,608 --> 00:07:54,156
And it will be. We're
having a drunken adventure!
237
00:07:54,191 --> 00:07:55,257
Really?
238
00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:56,691
♪ ♪
239
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,560
Okay. Yeah. Let's do it.
240
00:07:58,595 --> 00:08:00,695
Yay! Bachelorette adventure!
241
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:02,792
Kylie, you should talk less.
242
00:08:02,921 --> 00:08:05,088
Sorry, I have to direct it somewhere.
243
00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:06,581
Nice to meet you, by the way.
244
00:08:06,606 --> 00:08:07,893
Hey guys, if you're running out,
245
00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:09,649
I'm just gonna take
Hitchcock to the hospital.
246
00:08:09,673 --> 00:08:10,688
Is he okay?
247
00:08:10,713 --> 00:08:12,182
He drank a lot during
"Never Have I Ever."
248
00:08:12,206 --> 00:08:13,675
We're gonna get his stomach pumped,
249
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,340
try to get ahead of this thing.
250
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,122
That meat was good.
251
00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:18,613
You know what we should order?
252
00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:19,814
More meat.
253
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:21,183
Yeah, we should.
254
00:08:21,218 --> 00:08:22,317
We're "The Steak Studs!"
255
00:08:22,352 --> 00:08:24,052
The Steak Studs!
256
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,220
No-no-no... wait!
257
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,022
Charles already gave us a name.
258
00:08:27,057 --> 00:08:29,191
And that is the only
one we're gonna use.
259
00:08:29,226 --> 00:08:31,126
[TOGETHER] Steak Studs! Steak Studs!
260
00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,861
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
261
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:34,162
- Wait-wait.
- Steak Studs...
262
00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:35,513
- It's Charles.
- Oh, no. Oh, no.
263
00:08:35,538 --> 00:08:36,575
What do we do? What do we do?
264
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,666
Everyone, calm down.
265
00:08:37,701 --> 00:08:38,901
It'll be fine. I have an idea.
266
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,202
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
267
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:41,903
Why is everyone looking at me?
268
00:08:41,928 --> 00:08:44,136
You just said you had an idea,
then you stopped talking.
269
00:08:44,161 --> 00:08:45,907
Oh, my goodness. I'm very intoxicated.
270
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:48,089
Oh, he's FaceTiming me,
you guys. What do I do?
271
00:08:48,114 --> 00:08:50,757
He can't know we're at the restaurant.
I need a neutral background.
272
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:51,813
I'm a neutral background!
273
00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:53,682
- I'm huge!
- Yes. Genius.
274
00:08:54,092 --> 00:08:56,115
Let me put on my jacket. Okay.
275
00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:57,886
[CHUCKLES] Hey, best man.
276
00:08:57,921 --> 00:08:59,921
- Jake!
- Oh, I'm so scared.
277
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,915
The kidnappers have me tied up and...
278
00:09:02,744 --> 00:09:04,259
W... where are you guys?
279
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,595
I don't want to say,
in case the kidnappers are listening.
280
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,378
- Smart.
- But please hurry.
281
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,732
They're torturing me like James Bond in
"Casino Royale."
282
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,134
It's all groin stuff! Oh, my God.
283
00:09:13,443 --> 00:09:15,724
Save me! Save...
284
00:09:16,397 --> 00:09:18,773
[EXHALES] That was close.
285
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:19,835
So...
286
00:09:20,911 --> 00:09:22,577
should we order another round?
287
00:09:22,613 --> 00:09:25,146
♪ And that's why I cry ♪
288
00:09:25,377 --> 00:09:28,250
♪ Every time I eat my pecan pie ♪
289
00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:33,555
♪ A la mode ♪
290
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:35,824
- Yeah, Constantine!
- Thank you.
291
00:09:35,859 --> 00:09:36,925
Namaste.
292
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,193
Look, in my defense,
293
00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:39,794
he didn't used to have that man bun.
294
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,204
It was just a ponytail.
295
00:09:41,229 --> 00:09:42,998
I'm just gonna write
some of my thoughts down
296
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:45,000
just to let them out,
so I don't explode.
297
00:09:45,035 --> 00:09:48,870
Okay, look, no matter how lame
that dude's man purse is,
298
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:51,006
Amy Santiago still had
a one-night stand.
299
00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:52,741
- To Amy!
- ALL: Amy!
300
00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:54,342
- Yeah.
- [GLASSES CLINK]
301
00:09:54,378 --> 00:09:58,260
Actually, it technically
wasn't just one night.
302
00:09:58,285 --> 00:10:00,022
- Explain.
- Well, he caught me
303
00:10:00,047 --> 00:10:01,613
trying to sneak out the next morning,
304
00:10:02,028 --> 00:10:03,895
and then he started crying,
305
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,253
so I hugged him, and
306
00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,222
while we were hugging, um,
307
00:10:07,257 --> 00:10:10,258
his mom FaceTimed,
and he introduced me as his girlfriend.
308
00:10:10,294 --> 00:10:11,826
Okay, so then right after the call,
309
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,196
you broke up with him, ended it.
310
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,929
- Uhh...
- How long were you with
311
00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:16,439
crying wedding-band man bun?
312
00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,366
Not that long. I doubt
he even remembers me.
313
00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:20,117
Oh, my God. Amy Santiago.
314
00:10:20,142 --> 00:10:21,303
Ladies and gentlemen,
315
00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:23,501
the love of my life is here.
316
00:10:24,298 --> 00:10:25,874
Three months. We dated
for three months.
317
00:10:25,909 --> 00:10:28,209
- [SIGHS] All right.
- This is the boat.
318
00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:30,556
Now, Charles has to think
we're totally sober
319
00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:31,846
and we solved his puzzle.
320
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,588
- So we good?
- Yep, I'm drunk as hell!
321
00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,588
- That's not what I asked.
- Don't worry about me.
322
00:10:35,613 --> 00:10:37,176
I've seen you do enough of
these harebrained schemes
323
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,253
to know how to play along.
324
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:39,788
If Charles asks what's wrong,
325
00:10:39,823 --> 00:10:42,426
I'll just put on a quaint smile and say,
326
00:10:43,528 --> 00:10:44,726
[HIGH-PITCHED] "Nothing."
327
00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:46,472
Amazing. That is actually perfect.
328
00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:48,258
All right, now let's hold on
to each other for balance
329
00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:50,198
like three totally sober grown men.
330
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,324
Come here.
331
00:10:52,369 --> 00:10:53,825
And here we go.
332
00:10:54,866 --> 00:10:56,747
Oh, yeah, we're nailing this.
333
00:10:57,661 --> 00:11:00,141
Hello? Charles?
334
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:01,654
[LIONEL RICHIE'S "ALL NIGHT LONG" PLAYS]
335
00:11:01,678 --> 00:11:03,745
Surprise! Welcome to the party, pal!
336
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:06,147
Wow! This is amazing!
337
00:11:06,183 --> 00:11:08,214
Yeah! Now we get to the best part.
338
00:11:08,239 --> 00:11:09,519
Steaks and shots!
339
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:12,363
Ohh, more meat and alcohol.
340
00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:13,722
"More?" What does that mean?
341
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,291
[TOGETHER] Uhh...
342
00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:18,093
[HIGH-PITCHED] Nothing?
343
00:11:21,261 --> 00:11:25,162
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
344
00:11:26,098 --> 00:11:27,950
- Isn't this great?
- Uh-huh.
345
00:11:28,013 --> 00:11:30,355
So there is one question
about the scavenger hunt
346
00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:31,758
you have to answer.
347
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,806
Was he everything you thought he'd be?
348
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:35,338
Yes.
349
00:11:35,374 --> 00:11:38,047
He was everything I thought he'd be.
350
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,384
Never before has a person so
perfectly met my expectations.
351
00:11:41,455 --> 00:11:42,588
I know!
352
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,213
Isn't Reginald VelJohnson the best?
353
00:11:44,238 --> 00:11:46,293
Reginald VelJohnson? From "Die Hard"?
354
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:48,336
Sergeant Powell was a
part of my bachelor party?
355
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,529
Is what I said upon meeting him.
356
00:11:51,554 --> 00:11:53,179
I'm just still emotional about it.
357
00:11:53,204 --> 00:11:55,227
I can't believe you pulled that off!
358
00:11:55,252 --> 00:11:56,326
[CHUCKLING] Yeah, I did.
359
00:11:56,361 --> 00:11:57,861
I have one more surprise for you.
360
00:11:58,472 --> 00:12:00,903
If I could have your eyes, ears,
361
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,365
and emotional cores...
362
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:04,402
[VITAMIN C'S "GRADUATION" PLAYS]
363
00:12:04,427 --> 00:12:06,280
I'd like to take you all on a journey.
364
00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:07,949
Wow, you got a lot of
photos of my birth.
365
00:12:07,974 --> 00:12:09,879
Your mom didn't have any pics,
so I had to call the hospital.
366
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:11,097
- Ah.
- Jake Peralta.
367
00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:13,303
My partner. My best friend.
368
00:12:13,328 --> 00:12:15,203
My brother. My idol.
369
00:12:15,332 --> 00:12:18,300
The one man who has never let me down.
370
00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:20,196
Oh, that's very kind.
371
00:12:20,297 --> 00:12:22,625
Tonight had to be the biggest,
372
00:12:22,719 --> 00:12:24,828
most special bachelor party ever.
373
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,891
It had to be extraordinary because you,
374
00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:30,711
my friend, are no ordinary man.
375
00:12:30,782 --> 00:12:35,632
In fact, you are 24 karat gold.
376
00:12:36,092 --> 00:12:37,400
♪ ♪
377
00:12:38,131 --> 00:12:40,197
♪ So if we get the big
jobs and we make... ♪
378
00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:43,765
24 karat gold!
379
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:44,997
- Is that a phrase I say?
- No.
380
00:12:45,022 --> 00:12:46,191
Like the coins from the hunt!
381
00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:47,871
- Yes, of course.
- From those.
382
00:12:47,896 --> 00:12:51,153
Now, Terry, please
present your gold coin.
383
00:12:51,178 --> 00:12:52,926
My gold coin? The hell?
384
00:12:52,951 --> 00:12:55,080
From the last stop,
the one with Reginald VelJohnson.
385
00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:57,004
Yes, right, I already told you
that I was there and I met him.
386
00:12:57,028 --> 00:12:59,333
Stop bringing it up.
Terry, give the man his coin!
387
00:12:59,358 --> 00:13:01,604
- The hell are you talking about, Jake?
- The coin. Give him the coin.
388
00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:03,085
- What coin? I don't have a...
- You give him a coin.
389
00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:04,622
- Give him his gold coin.
- What's going on, guys?
390
00:13:04,646 --> 00:13:06,233
All right, here's the deal.
391
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:09,415
Terry's coin fell out of his pocket,
and we lost it.
392
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,149
We just didn't have the
heart to tell you.
393
00:13:11,174 --> 00:13:13,274
Oh, no. That cost $800.
394
00:13:13,299 --> 00:13:14,750
All right, Terry will pay me back later.
395
00:13:14,774 --> 00:13:17,333
- What?
- Captain, your coin, please.
396
00:13:18,076 --> 00:13:19,741
♪ And as our lives change ♪
397
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,389
- I ate mine.
- You ate your coin?
398
00:13:21,414 --> 00:13:22,701
Yes, I thought it was chocolate.
399
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,718
But you hate chocolate.
It has "too much taste."
400
00:13:25,835 --> 00:13:27,233
[SIGHS] Oh, man.
401
00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:30,460
You guys didn't do the
scavenger hunt, did you?
402
00:13:30,980 --> 00:13:33,104
And you call yourselves The Batch Boys?
403
00:13:33,151 --> 00:13:35,050
Actually, we call ourselves
The Steak Studs.
404
00:13:35,126 --> 00:13:36,456
Raymond!
405
00:13:36,481 --> 00:13:37,680
Why?
406
00:13:37,705 --> 00:13:40,194
- [GRUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]
- I know why you're here, Turtle Bug.
407
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:41,685
I feel like the fact that you just
408
00:13:41,710 --> 00:13:43,210
called me that means you don't.
409
00:13:43,259 --> 00:13:45,939
Uh, quick question:
If I make fun of Constantine
410
00:13:45,971 --> 00:13:47,737
does that count as making fun of you?
411
00:13:47,762 --> 00:13:49,194
- Yes.
- Okay.
412
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,219
- Can I make fun of you?
- I'd rather you didn't.
413
00:13:51,244 --> 00:13:53,246
Well, I have to remove
myself from this situation.
414
00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:56,000
Look, I want to talk to you
about a gig you have coming up.
415
00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:57,846
- Jake Peralta booked it.
- Yeah.
416
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:58,875
- Your wedding.
- What?
417
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,644
If you knew that, then
why did you take it?
418
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:01,699
I wrote you a love song.
419
00:14:01,724 --> 00:14:03,534
I'm gonna sing it,
and I'm gonna win you back.
420
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,423
Then we're gonna be on "The Today Show."
421
00:14:05,457 --> 00:14:07,491
- I love Hoda.
- Yeah, no.
422
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,946
No, we will not.
423
00:14:09,084 --> 00:14:10,683
This is what's gonna happen, okay?
424
00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:11,951
You're gonna call Jake,
425
00:14:12,065 --> 00:14:13,641
tell him something came up,
426
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:14,965
and you have to cancel the gig.
427
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,987
Not happening.
I'm gonna get on that stage.
428
00:14:17,012 --> 00:14:18,811
And I'm gonna play "Amy Come Back."
429
00:14:18,836 --> 00:14:20,869
- Fine.
- I'm gonna tell Jake everything.
430
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,408
I'm cancelling your band. Boom.
431
00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:26,034
- Okay!
- That'll just cost you $15,000.
432
00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:27,239
Excuse me?
433
00:14:27,264 --> 00:14:28,702
Well, when I heard it was your wedding,
434
00:14:28,726 --> 00:14:30,560
I knew your fiancé would cancel
435
00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:32,719
when he found out about us, so...
436
00:14:32,843 --> 00:14:35,143
I put in a huge kill fee.
437
00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:37,603
- [GASPS]
- Yeah, he never even noticed.
438
00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:40,701
He didn't read the terms and conditions.
439
00:14:40,925 --> 00:14:43,085
Look, Charles, I'm
sorry that we cheated,
440
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:44,499
but your puzzle was too hard.
441
00:14:44,524 --> 00:14:46,351
Oh, don't give me that excuse.
442
00:14:46,430 --> 00:14:47,602
I worked hard on this night!
443
00:14:47,627 --> 00:14:48,960
And it all led up to this moment
444
00:14:48,985 --> 00:14:51,595
where everyone gives you
$3,200 in gold coins!
445
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:53,945
Again, is the gold coin thing
based on something I said?
446
00:14:54,003 --> 00:14:56,137
You're 24 karat gold!
447
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,545
- Yeah, right, okay.
- You guys are the worst.
448
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,794
You're right, and we
shouldn't have lied to you.
449
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,734
But all of this, the puzzle,
450
00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,408
it's what you wanted, not me.
451
00:15:03,689 --> 00:15:05,454
I just wanted to hang
out with my friends.
452
00:15:05,479 --> 00:15:07,546
Well, don't let me stop you.
453
00:15:07,632 --> 00:15:10,062
You can hang out with your friends
all you want, because I'm leaving.
454
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:11,139
Charles!
455
00:15:11,164 --> 00:15:12,964
[FIREWORKS POPPING]
456
00:15:13,077 --> 00:15:14,276
Come on, slideshow.
457
00:15:18,446 --> 00:15:20,452
Boyle isn't picking up
and I called Genevieve.
458
00:15:20,513 --> 00:15:22,073
- She doesn't know where he is.
- Wait.
459
00:15:22,206 --> 00:15:24,728
I bet Charles is looking for the
coins he hid all over the city.
460
00:15:24,753 --> 00:15:25,784
They were so expensive.
461
00:15:25,809 --> 00:15:27,927
Also, why does he keep
saying I'm 24 karat gold?
462
00:15:27,953 --> 00:15:29,212
- No idea.
- Makes zero sense.
463
00:15:29,237 --> 00:15:30,619
We'll have to figure it out later.
464
00:15:30,644 --> 00:15:32,066
In the meantime, we
gotta find those coins.
465
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:33,527
Yes, but how do we figure
out where they are?
466
00:15:33,551 --> 00:15:34,710
All we have to do is solve
467
00:15:34,735 --> 00:15:36,905
the entire six-hour
scavenger hunt immediately.
468
00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:39,005
Raymond, toss me that sextant.
469
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:40,711
Guys, we can do this!
470
00:15:40,736 --> 00:15:42,351
- [SEXTANT THUDS]
- We cannot do this.
471
00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,594
We're way too drunk. [SIGHS]
472
00:15:43,619 --> 00:15:45,907
But there has to be someone that
knows where those coins are, right?
473
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:47,003
Charles.
474
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,459
- Charles would know.
- Brilliant!
475
00:15:48,484 --> 00:15:50,552
We just have to find Charles,
but where might he be?
476
00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,989
He's probably digging up the gold coins.
477
00:15:52,013 --> 00:15:53,944
But who would know where
the gold coins are?
478
00:15:53,969 --> 00:15:55,777
Charles! Charles knows where they are.
479
00:15:55,802 --> 00:15:57,776
But where is he...
No, wait we're stuck in a loop.
480
00:15:57,801 --> 00:15:59,127
We're super drunk and we're in a loop.
481
00:15:59,151 --> 00:16:01,384
We need to find someone
who isn't Charles
482
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,686
who knows where the coins are.
483
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,454
[KNOCKING]
484
00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:05,989
[GASPS]
485
00:16:06,124 --> 00:16:07,592
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
486
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:09,140
- It's Reginald VelJohnson.
- What's going on?
487
00:16:09,164 --> 00:16:10,390
- Who are you?
- I'm Jake Peralta.
488
00:16:10,414 --> 00:16:11,859
You were part of my
bachelor party tonight.
489
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:13,349
Oh, you're the jerk who didn't show.
490
00:16:13,498 --> 00:16:15,622
He knows who I am.
491
00:16:17,235 --> 00:16:19,002
[SOFT SQUEAL]
492
00:16:19,254 --> 00:16:21,682
Okay, so I need to come up with 15 grand
493
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:24,875
or my father/daughter dance is
going to be performed by that.
494
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,895
Wrong. You're forgetting
the most obvious option.
495
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,056
Steal the contract and destroy it.
496
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,380
Destroy a legal document?
I can't do that.
497
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,520
You were right, I'm a boring square
498
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:36,453
who's never actually had a crazy,
stranger bone session.
499
00:16:36,521 --> 00:16:38,759
Gina, your looks are just
as hurtful as your words.
500
00:16:38,784 --> 00:16:40,790
I'm sorry. I can only control so much.
501
00:16:40,859 --> 00:16:42,692
- I shouldn't have come back.
- Okay. Look.
502
00:16:42,728 --> 00:16:44,426
You don't have to steal it. We will.
503
00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:45,562
- Right?
- Hell yeah.
504
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,827
You guys don't have to do this.
505
00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,299
We told you. We're your bridesmaids.
506
00:16:48,323 --> 00:16:49,337
We have your back. Okay.
507
00:16:49,362 --> 00:16:51,015
I think if we distract
him, I can sneak in
508
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,931
and take the contract
out of his man purse.
509
00:16:52,956 --> 00:16:54,264
Won't he know what's going on?
510
00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:55,505
He saw all of us with Amy.
511
00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:56,973
Not all of us.
512
00:16:57,579 --> 00:16:58,679
Sick set.
513
00:16:58,704 --> 00:17:00,025
You were really jamming up there.
514
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,064
- Oh... [SOFT LAUGH]
- I'm Lucious Lyon.
515
00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:04,381
Record executive at...
Executive Records.
516
00:17:04,483 --> 00:17:06,707
Lucious Lyon. I've heard that name.
517
00:17:06,785 --> 00:17:08,729
Anyway, we're always
looking for new talent.
518
00:17:08,754 --> 00:17:10,553
"We" being me and my partner.
519
00:17:10,589 --> 00:17:12,789
That's Cookie. Let me introduce you.
520
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,025
[PLAYFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]
521
00:17:15,127 --> 00:17:17,060
[IMITATES BIRD SCREECHING]
522
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,495
♪ ♪
523
00:17:18,563 --> 00:17:20,606
Where is it? Where is it?
524
00:17:20,631 --> 00:17:22,280
Why are there so many scarves in here?
525
00:17:22,305 --> 00:17:23,504
You looking for this?
526
00:17:23,702 --> 00:17:25,635
[IMITATES BIRD SCREECHING, TRILLING]
527
00:17:25,704 --> 00:17:27,161
I see him, Gina. Thank you.
528
00:17:27,186 --> 00:17:28,371
[IMITATES BIRD SCREECH]
529
00:17:28,396 --> 00:17:29,786
Look, Sergeant Powell,
530
00:17:29,811 --> 00:17:31,271
oh, I'm sorry, is it
okay if I call you by
531
00:17:31,295 --> 00:17:32,519
your character name from "Die Hard"?
532
00:17:32,543 --> 00:17:33,590
- No.
- Okay.
533
00:17:33,615 --> 00:17:35,793
Look, Reginald, do you know
why Charles hired you?
534
00:17:35,903 --> 00:17:38,024
Because I love "Die Hard"
more than any other movie,
535
00:17:38,049 --> 00:17:39,854
- and I loved you in it.
- For the record,
536
00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:41,412
I loved you from "Family Matters."
537
00:17:41,651 --> 00:17:43,933
Carl Winslow made me
want to become a cop.
538
00:17:43,972 --> 00:17:45,253
Come on, Terry, you already have
539
00:17:45,278 --> 00:17:46,660
like six other reasons you became a cop.
540
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,535
This is not your moment.
And for the record,
541
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,845
that's the first time I've ever heard
542
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:50,888
him even mention "Family Matters."
543
00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:52,678
- Look, it's late.
- Please leave.
544
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,087
Come on. Look... My best
friend is out there.
545
00:17:55,246 --> 00:17:57,077
And you're the only one
who knows where he is.
546
00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:58,901
So, as much as I hate to do this,
547
00:17:58,951 --> 00:18:00,914
you're gonna tell us where
those coins are hidden,
548
00:18:00,939 --> 00:18:03,084
- or you're gonna regret it.
- What are you gonna do to me?
549
00:18:03,108 --> 00:18:05,208
Stay here all night, making this sound:
550
00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:10,046
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREECH]
551
00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:11,378
Fine, fine.
552
00:18:11,683 --> 00:18:13,109
- I'll tell you where he is.
- Yes.
553
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,217
Thank you so much.
554
00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:15,542
Also, we're gonna need
you to take us there,
555
00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:17,132
'cause we're all too drunk to drive.
556
00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,922
You thought you could
distract me with a record deal?
557
00:18:19,991 --> 00:18:22,588
Please, I'm already represented,
558
00:18:22,613 --> 00:18:23,726
by my mom.
559
00:18:23,751 --> 00:18:25,683
- God, you're a turd.
- Well, this turd
560
00:18:25,929 --> 00:18:28,113
is your best friend's future husband.
561
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,892
- Doink!
- Hey, wait, no!
562
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,850
- Give that back to me!
- I'm wild!
563
00:18:32,037 --> 00:18:35,138
- Keep going! Keep going!
- [SCREAMING]
564
00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:37,640
- He's gaining on you.
- Not for long.
565
00:18:37,709 --> 00:18:39,575
Free shots for everyone!
566
00:18:39,644 --> 00:18:40,677
[CHEERS]
567
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,178
Turtle Bug!
568
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,946
[CHEERS]
569
00:18:44,015 --> 00:18:45,281
Whoo!
570
00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:46,783
Buh-bye, Connie!
571
00:18:46,851 --> 00:18:49,052
Tell your mother I said
I never loved you,
572
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:51,649
and that your whole family
is a bunch of friggin...
573
00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,140
- [HEAVY THUD]
- [CROWD GASPS]
574
00:18:53,291 --> 00:18:56,059
- Oh.
- [SCATTERED GASPS]
575
00:18:56,161 --> 00:18:58,127
Whoo, I broke a rule!
576
00:18:58,196 --> 00:19:00,229
[CHEERS]
577
00:19:00,254 --> 00:19:02,082
Never have I ever slept with a guy,
578
00:19:02,114 --> 00:19:04,089
broken his heart,
hired him to play at my wedding,
579
00:19:04,135 --> 00:19:05,835
stolen a legally binding
contract from him,
580
00:19:05,870 --> 00:19:07,737
jumped on a bar and
dumped booze on everyone,
581
00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:09,910
fallen off the bar,
probably given myself a concussion...
582
00:19:09,934 --> 00:19:11,185
[SLAMS TABLE] and a permanent scar.
583
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:13,276
- I have ever!
- [CHEERS]
584
00:19:13,345 --> 00:19:15,812
Well, it is officially after midnight,
585
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,047
so I can now say whatever I want.
586
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,215
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- Uh-oh.
587
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:20,983
Tonight was awesome,
588
00:19:21,052 --> 00:19:22,952
and I loved hanging out with your dorks.
589
00:19:23,021 --> 00:19:24,987
- What?
- Aww, yeah.
590
00:19:25,016 --> 00:19:26,067
- [GLASSES CLINK]
- [SOFT LAUGHTER]
591
00:19:26,091 --> 00:19:27,248
You know, the word "dork"
592
00:19:27,273 --> 00:19:29,905
is actually a Celtic
word meaning "lungfish."
593
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:31,791
Kylie, I'm trying so hard.
594
00:19:32,012 --> 00:19:33,622
This is where he told
me to wait for you.
595
00:19:33,647 --> 00:19:35,014
Oh, my God. This is the corner where
596
00:19:35,038 --> 00:19:37,598
John McClane met Zeus
Carver in "Die Hard 3."
597
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,476
Oh, Charles. Yes, you're here.
598
00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:41,070
What's going on? How did you find me?
599
00:19:41,095 --> 00:19:42,105
Did you solve the puzzle?
600
00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:43,339
No, they didn't.
601
00:19:43,408 --> 00:19:44,532
They cheated again.
602
00:19:44,657 --> 00:19:45,687
Reginald.
603
00:19:45,712 --> 00:19:47,968
Hey man, look.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
604
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:50,234
No, I'm the one who should apologize.
605
00:19:50,281 --> 00:19:51,487
I overdid it tonight.
606
00:19:51,512 --> 00:19:53,565
I wanted everything to
be perfect, because
607
00:19:53,787 --> 00:19:56,121
it's our last big night
before you get married.
608
00:19:56,187 --> 00:19:57,868
I guess I was a little worried
609
00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,593
things were gonna change between us.
610
00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:02,125
Oh, Charles. Come on.
611
00:20:02,386 --> 00:20:04,152
Of course, things are gonna change.
612
00:20:04,206 --> 00:20:05,705
I'm getting married.
613
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,864
I mean, didn't you make
me less of a priority
614
00:20:07,899 --> 00:20:09,718
when you and Genevieve got together?
615
00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:13,813
- Yes.
- See?
616
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:16,239
I mean, no matter what,
we'll always be best friends.
617
00:20:16,307 --> 00:20:17,974
- [SIGHS]
- Hey, you know why
618
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,397
I didn't like your scavenger hunt?
619
00:20:19,422 --> 00:20:20,804
'Cause it was stupid
and overcomplicated.
620
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,027
And way too long.
621
00:20:22,052 --> 00:20:23,685
- There was no food.
- Or drinks.
622
00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:24,867
This is not a group conversation, guys.
623
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,178
Well, you could have stood
a little farther away from us then.
624
00:20:27,202 --> 00:20:28,251
Point taken.
625
00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:29,745
I didn't like it because
626
00:20:29,794 --> 00:20:31,760
you got kidnapped right
at the beginning.
627
00:20:31,878 --> 00:20:33,433
You were gone for six hours.
628
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:35,714
I wanted to spend my
bachelor party with you.
629
00:20:36,988 --> 00:20:38,019
[SOFT LAUGH]
630
00:20:38,044 --> 00:20:39,444
I can't believe you pissed off
631
00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,367
Reginald VelJohnson just to find me.
632
00:20:41,392 --> 00:20:42,991
Oh, please. He'll get over it.
633
00:20:43,101 --> 00:20:45,434
No, I won't. You've
made an enemy for life.
634
00:20:45,615 --> 00:20:47,303
And I'm telling Bruce Willis you suck.
635
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:50,072
[GUTTURAL GASP]
636
00:20:51,953 --> 00:20:53,319
That's fine. I'm fine with that.
637
00:20:53,702 --> 00:20:55,211
It's good. What's important is that
638
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:56,588
we made up, my best friend.
639
00:20:57,220 --> 00:20:58,689
Not Bruce Willis.
640
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,082
To Jake and Amy!
641
00:21:00,151 --> 00:21:01,684
ALL: To Jake and Amy!
642
00:21:01,753 --> 00:21:03,953
- [TOGETHER] To us!
- [GLASSES CLINK]
643
00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:06,025
Hey, so I need to tell you something.
644
00:21:06,142 --> 00:21:08,455
I had to cancel the wedding band,
645
00:21:08,526 --> 00:21:10,993
because I kind of dated
one of the dudes in it.
646
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,383
Yeah, I know. Man bun.
647
00:21:12,408 --> 00:21:14,174
He left me a very long message
648
00:21:14,199 --> 00:21:16,199
- with a lot of details
- Oh, no.
649
00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:18,000
He seems like a really passionate guy.
650
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,521
I'm never gonna live this down.
651
00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,037
- No, you are not.
- [SOFT LAUGH]
652
00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:22,349
I'm just kidding.
I'll never bring it up again.
653
00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:23,940
Thank you. You're the sweetest.
654
00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:26,319
- I love you.
- I love you too, Turtle Bug.
655
00:21:26,344 --> 00:21:27,477
- Oh, my...
- Yeah.
656
00:21:27,512 --> 00:21:29,178
Uh, do I still need to be here?
657
00:21:29,247 --> 00:21:32,772
Yes, Reginald. We're all toasted
and we need rides home!
658
00:21:33,284 --> 00:21:35,284
[SOFTLY] It's Reginald VelJohnson!
659
00:21:35,632 --> 00:21:40,632
Synced and corrected by Pisuly
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
49101
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof