Original subtitles

(theme music playing)

NARRATOR: Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A dark side.

MAN: This is it, Mama.

Your recipe

for making one spirit trade bodies with another.

Soul switching. (frog croaking)

That's what I want.

Got to get this brew right.

Get those spirits switching places, yeah.

(mutters): Yes, I got the... eh, zygote of a hen, now...

got the claw of crow.

The sap of birch.

Um... here we got the...

snake eye mash, garden variety.

And...

(frog croaks)

...drop of rat's blood.

Right.

(scoffs)

I'll get it, Mama.

(sighs)

(frog croaks)

Oh, yeah.

Come on, drink.

Switch with the birdie.

Wouldn't you rather be a pretty, yellow cockatiel?

You don't want to be an ugly old frog all your life, do you?

(sighs)

(croaking)

Get your spirit moving!

(croaking)

(knocking at door)

Come to play house, little wife?

Hmm.

(sighs)

Not right now, Bubba.

Hmm, what are you bothering me for?

This dining room is more of a disgrace every day.

Why-Why don't you let me decorate it up,

like I done with the living room?

I know how to make things pretty.

No. This is my work here. Don't you never touch it!

Great discoveries will come from these things.

Oh, pooh.

Pooh?

You just remember my mama was

the greatest conjure woman Louisiana ever saw.

And I have all her secrets now.

Hmm.

I will make magic here.

A lot of old Louisiana hokum.

Hokum?!

(laughs)

And how do you think it is

Mama got all her millions, huh?

From the oil rigs out in the swamp.

Well, then, how is it

nobody else 'round here never found no oil out there, huh?

Maybe they could have used a little bit of Mama's hokum.

I'm sorry, Bubba.

I don't want to be fighting with you.

I just get sort of irritated-like,

being stuck way out here.

Why don't you let Claude drive me into Breaux Bridge?

So, you want to go into town

with that white trash farm boy, huh?

Just for a little while.

No, you ain't going nowhere.

You're gonna stay in tonight,

play house with Bubba.

Oh, but I don't want to play house.

Not every night.

Well, I do!

That's why I put it in the marriage contract.

You get all my money when I die...

(cockatiel chirps)

...so long as you play house with me

every night when I'm alive.

And I'm alive, sweet thing.

I'm alive.

And I am not in the mood!

Well, you just better see to it

that you are in the mood

when I come around to fetch you later.

Oh, go on, get out of here.

Go on! Scat!

(cockatiel chirps)

(insects chittering outside)

(sighs)

He said I can't go.

(sighs)

Damn!

Well, let's

just go, anyway.

We'll get us some cheap wine and...

get into that cheap motel and...

why, have us some real cheap fun.

Oh. Somehow he'd know.

He's creepy that way.

Don't it just make you sick to death,

having him touch you all over?

And even... It don't matter.

I just ain't never gonna be poor again.

Ain't nothing worse than being poor in a poor swamp town.

Oh, Claude,

it won't be forever.

Oh, Bubba's not well.

(doors slide open) He's got a bad heart.

Bedtime.

Come, wife.

Come!

(bed springs squeaking rhythmically)

BUBBA: Ooh-wee!

(insects chittering)

Book of Poisons?

(laughs) Huh.

(hammering)

Morning.

Sleep well?

(scoffs) How could I?

Hearing you and him together so loud and all.

There, there, baby.

Pay no mind to that.

Just shut your eyes

and think of you and me together with all his money.

Uh, I was thinking.

I-I might move on.

T-Till he was gone. I mean...

Take my old Chevy up to Tennessee.

Kentucky, even.

No.

You can't leave me alone way out here.

Hey.

I'll make it up to you, Claude.

I swear, I will.

(loud breathing)

So, the little wifey's getting handy

with the handyman.

Guess it's time to call the judge.

Add me a condition to that will.

Pardonnez-moi.

Who's this judge person?

Judge Jean Baptiste, his little parasite pal.

He's the one that wrote out the marriage contract in the will.

And he can add conditions?

Agreement is, if Bubba finds me touching another man,

he gets to add one small condition.

It's nothing.

And the money?

I get it all.

Can't change that.

Not unless I leave him

or deny him his gentlemanly pleasures.

Damn!

Baby, I want him dead.

Oh, God help me, so do I.

I was in his dining room last night.

Place is full of poisons.

For all his brews.

Well, everyone knows

it's him who buys those poisons, don't they?

(sighs) And everyone knows it's always him

who's experimenting with them, right?

Right.

So, we get him to drink something.

Something special like.

And everyone'll know for sure...

That he accidentally killed himself, yes?

Let's do it.

Mm, yes.

Caught you, did he?

Oh, Bubba!

Here come the judge.

(insects chittering)

It's called the transmigration of the spirits.

Mama always thought

this recipe could make it happen.

You know, switch places with another person's spirit?

Kick 'em right out of their own body,

so when you gets too old,

you can take over the body of a young 'un.

And then you can go on,

taking new bodies,

on and on

and live forever, see?

Oh, I want to live forever.

I do, I do.

Be young forever. Oh, boy!

Only thing is,

one of the ingredients is faded.

Can sorta make out an "E" there, but that's all.

So, Judge,

what's a witch's ingredient,

two centuries old, seven letters long

and has an "E" in it?

Heroin.

No, that's six letters!

Besides, Mama was always dead set against drugs,

you know that.

Mmm, research, research.

I'll find it.

And Mama will help.

Oh, yes, mamas always help.

Very helpful creatures. Yes, sir.

And now...

I gots me a new condition for that will.

10:00.

Ain't he never gonna leave?

(chuckling)

Now.

Go!

(flirty chuckle)

Oh, Bubba.

(snoring gently)

I think it's bedtime.

(singsong): Time to play house.

(singsong): Time for

a real special treat.

(grunts, sighs)

Now, you just let your Anna Belle ride

the big, bad bull.

(snorting)

(groans)

Ooh, hired hand gonna watch?

What you got there, boy? A camera?

Gonna take dirty pictures?

Yeah, that's it.

Here, doll, get his other hand.

Ooh, kinky stuff!

Mm-hmm. (chuckles)

Help me with his feet, will ya, darlin'?

Here you go.

There. That's right.

I've been waiting a long time for this, Bubba.

Boy, we're gonna have some fun tonight, sweet thing.

What are you lookin' at?

Hmm?

Care for a nightcap?

I've been reading up about all your poisons here.

This hemlock one.

It's real fast.

And real, real quiet.

Perfect for a good, stiff drink...

for a stiff like you.

A final drink...

for my humpback hubby.

No!

Murder makes the will null and void.

You won't get a penny.

(giggles) This ain't murder.

It's mercy killing.

Yeah, it's gonna put me out of my misery.

(muffled groans) I got a better idea.

(grunting, gasping)

Now, now, say "Ah!"

(muffled grunting)

Mama!

(groans, gasps)

Your being... it's over.

Die, you scum!

(groaning stops)

We gotta get him in his chair,

make it look like he was working. (grunts)

Now I know what they mean by "deadweight."

(screams)

What the...? Whoa!

(thud)

(gasping)

(insects chittering)

And this last one.

Law certainly requires a lot of handwritin',

doesn't it?

There.

Now, is the money mine?

Finally?

(high-pitched): "Finally?"

Doesn't sound like you exactly miss old Bubba, now does it?

Well, it's been two weeks he's been in the ground.

Just how long's a body supposed to droop around

in ugly black dresses, anyway?

(laughs)

"Ugly black dresses," that's good.

(sighs): Old Bubba.

He really believed in all this voodoo stuff, didn't he?

All those experiments with birds and frogs.

Except turns out, he was the one that croaked and flew away.

(laughs)

Please.

I should tend to Claude.

He's only been out of the hospital a day.

Are we done? Oh, positively.

It's all yours now.

Subject only to that one minor condition.

Oh, that's right. What is it?

Just says here, you have to marry one Claude Altoose

within one month of Bubba's funeral.

But Bubba was so jealous of Claude.

Why would he ever?

Bubba loved you very much, Anna Belle.

It's a shame you never really knew how much.

And he was dog determined

you be happy after he was gone.

He knew how crazy you was

about that young stud in there.

He used to talk about that.

And he wanted to make sure

you got everything you wanted

after he was gone.

(sighs)

Well, I'll be.

ANNA BELLE: Thanks again, Judge.

(door shuts)

All done?

All but that new condition.

Yeah, and what's that?

Oh... just that I get the money

only if I get married real soon to you.

Huh?

Seems like the old troll really did care

if I'd be happy.

So, make me happy, Claude.

Marry me.

M-Marry you?

Yes, ma'am!

I'm gonna go into town right now for the license.

We can have the ceremony in a couple days.

Think I'll even get the judge to do it right here.

Sure.

Why spend money on a big wedding?

We only got a few million.

(laughs)

(groans)

Damn.

My shoulder.

It's so stiff.

From all this lying around, huh?

Hey.

See you later, hubby.

And so, by the power vested in me

by the glorious state of Louisiana,

I pronounce you man and wife.

(organ plays "Wedding March")

(Baptiste laughing)

Oh, that was fun.

I reckon that was about the best little ol' weddin'

I ever did see. Wouldn't you agree, Master Claude?

Sure was the best one I ever was in.

(chuckling)

Claude, what's that?

BAPTISTE: Oh, you know bandages-- they make all

sorts of messes.

Now then, here's something you both should know.

It's your very own copy of the Napoleonic Code.

What is it?

Oh, Louisiana customs

about community property and marriage.

Means what's yours is now his, and vice versa.

A-Almost.

Well, we already arranged for that.

Oh, goody good good.

Well, now you two have a long, long life together.

And be sure to take lots of time to have just bunches of fun,

if you know what I mean.

Good day, Mrs. Altoose.

Good day to you, Judge. And thank you.

It was a right fittin' ceremony, Judge.

(chuckling)

(chuckling continues)

Come, wife.

Why, wherever are you taking me, sir?

Into the dining room.

Why there?

Feels appropriate.

No.

But I want to do it in there.

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.

Come on.

All right.

Serves the old creep right.

After you, darlin'.

Oh, thank you.

Finally! Finally!

Ah.

You kept this.

Looked so old,

I thought it might be worth something.

Oh... I think it's worth a lot.

So, what'll we do now, husband?

You know, these Louisiana laws, I think they really

stick us together tight with the money.

(chuckles) Good.

(sighs)

Your bad hand. Careful.

It's all better now.

Here, take off the bandages.

Claude, what's happening?

Me and Claude, we done switched places, Anna Belle.

What are you saying?

Stop it!

You thought you was getting a whole new man.

But you just went and married ol' Bubba all over again.

Stop it, Claude!

Bubba's dead and gone.

See, I knew how bad you wanted a young buck.

That's why I hired Claude.

And then as soon as I found the missing ingredient in the brew,

I was gonna switch myself with Claude.

But you and lover boy,

you went and found the right thing, just like that.

Hemlock. (chuckles)

Hemlock did the trick.

No, Bubba's in the ground.

I saw them put dirt on the coffin!

You just buried o'' Bubba's body.

But you sent little Claude's spirit so far away,

he ain't never gonna find his way back.

(chuckles)

But don't you worry.

You got your Bubba.

You got him right here.

It can't be true! It can't!

Oh.

(Bubba's voice): Come on, Anna Belle.

Let's play house.

(echoing): Let's play house for the rest of your life.

(laughing)

(screaming)

(Bubba laughing maniacally)

NARRATOR: The dark side is always there.

Waiting for us to enter.

Waiting to enter us.

Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.