All language subtitles for 16.Tales from the Darkside S03E16 DVDRip x264

(theme music playing)

NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes
to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A dark side.

(jackhammering)

(horn honking)

(siren blaring)

MAN: I want you to cancel
all of his credit cards

and cancel all
of his charge accounts.

21, Harry Winston,

Bergdorf's, all of 'em.

The new stationery come in yet?

No!

I don't care if it takes a week.

No stationery goes out
with his name on it.

Did you cancel
his Mercedes lease?

Good.

Also, have his picture removed

from that Business Times feature
they did on us.

While you're at it, uh,

stop off at, uh,
Loberto's Florist.

Buy out all the inventory
and send it to his house.

And I hope that idiot

at the Times
gets the obit straight.

"Uh, Jacob Cain,
beloved friend and partner

to real estate genius
Alex Hayes..."

uh, "succumbs to injuries."

Blah, blah, blah, blah, bl...
Right.

Just make it sound sincere.

Good.

(loud sliding)

Amanda!

(clang)

How did you get in here?

Jake and I had no secrets, Alex.

You know that.

He used to talk
in his sleep, too.

The command center,
he used to call this.

All the real business
happened here, didn't it, Alex?

None of that phony

PR stuff you guys dished out

from Hayes & Cain's
corporate offices.

Well, well,
what a beautiful surprise.

I'll bet it is.

But not nearly the surprise

I got this afternoon
at the funeral.

I turn around, and some jerk
is driving off with my Mercedes.

I know.
I had the lease cancelled.

I suppose you're behind
that call from the accountants

telling me I have no more stock
in Hayes & Cain.

Just Hayes, Inc. now.

What?!

Come on, I'll
make you a drink.

I thought Jake'd at least
have the decency to tell you.

Tell me what?

He was in a coma
for a month.

Now he's dead.

Why don't you give it a try?

Well, you know how much
Jake loved the horses.

Probably more than you,

sorry to say.

He got heavily into debt
with some very

mean bookie who threatened
to cut his...

That stock was worth millions.

Jake couldn't have lost anywhere
near that amount at the track.

Oh, more like a hundred grand,
but that's a lot of cash

to come up with
in a couple of hours,

and I was the only one
that could help him.

You expect me to believe

he gave you millions in stock
for a hundred grand.

Collateral on the loan, Mandy.

And as we know, Jake died
before he could pay it back.

Gin, isn't it?

(jackhammering outside)

Will you turn
that damn thing off?

(scoffs)

I love the sound of construction
in the morning.

It sounds like success.

(construction sounds stop)

Look,

I'll pay you back.

Just give me a little

time, okay?
I have some

diamonds he gave me, my mink.

I don't really

need the house.

No, no, no, no.

I... I-I couldn't do that.

You see, Mandy,

if I allowed you

to buy back that stock
for a mere hundred grand,

I'd be just as dumb as Jake,
and we know I'm not.

As Jake's widow,
I am entitled

to a seat
in the board of directors.

You just wait
till that next meeting!

They'll make you do right by me.

There are no board
of directors anymore.

You might as well get used
to it, Mandy.

I own and control everything.

Everything?

Mm.

Damn it! It isn't fair.

I married that big lummox

because I thought
he'd make me a rich woman.

Alex... you got to help me.

There's nothing left
in the bank.

I haven't received
a dividend check

since Jake checked out.

That stock was all we had.

I'm helpless now.

Unless you...

Mandy...

let me give you a little
something to tide you over

till you sell your
diamonds and mink.

Why, you cheap rat!

You're not gonna get away
with this!

I'm gonna find a lawyer
of my own, and I'll sue!

You won't have a chair left
to rest your butt in,

but that won't matter, because
I'm gonna sue that off, too!

(clang)

(elevator whirring)

(rumbling)

(rumbling and jackhammering)

(jackhammering continues)

(rumbling and jackhammering)

(woman screaming)

(screams and cries)

(distorted screams
and cries echoing)

(coughs)

(clears throat)

Jake? Is that you?

Oh, Alex.
I was hoping you'd be here.

Why?

Shh!

I'm A.W.O.C.

That's absent without consent.

Absent from where?

Where do you think, Alex?

You can get consent
to leave hell?

Yeah. See, down there,
you can work yourself up

to a real status position.

They call it "minion."

See, some guys are minions
from day one,

but you had to be
really something big in life.

And I'm talking big-time bad.

Does this have anything to
do with Mandy and the loan?

Ah, forget about that.

She was a little
gold digger, anyway.

I miss her, though.

She was the best
little piece I...

What do you want, Jake?

The files, Alex.

The real files.

The ones kept here.

Not the phony books kept
in the corporate offices.

Why?

'Cause I got plans, Alex.
Big plans.

I mean, they show me
no respect down there.

I want to be a minion.

Oh.

(burps)

Yeah, minions come and go
as they please.

Remember the little clerk
over in the Licensing Bureau?

Huh? The guy
with the dark glasses?

You had to pay him
and his whole family

before you could fill out
an application?

A minion.
Yeah, and what a record.

You know, that guy is personally
responsible for the damnation of

more souls than Boss Tweed,
and he just got

a promotion, too.

That's right.

Chief Tempter
for Graft and Racketeering.

Why do you want the files, Jake?

They're doing this big job.

Building a crystal palace
for you know who.

And they got me shoveling
sand and mixing cement.

Me, Jake Cain.

The Jake Cain.

You know, before my accident,

I had my finger in every
construction pie in the city.

Then there was the deal
that you and I cooked up

for this, uh, condo development
in Queens, remember?

We bought all those, uh,
rent control buildings,

and then we threw
all those old geezers out.

Jake, I don't want
the whole world to know that.

Well, I do, Alex!

I mean, that's the point!

I got to show those guys
down there that...

that I'm hot stuff, too.
(whip cracks below)

Jake, you're dead.
(cries and groans from below)

Why don't you stay that way?

I got to be a minion.

I mean, all my life,

I've played follow the leader,
second fiddle.

Now I'm someplace

where my record could count
for something.

Give me the files, Alex.

Jake, my name is on
that eviction notice.

I was the director
of the holding company

got the Donahue deal.

So?

So?!

I don't want to brag about it.

Oh!

Jake, when my time comes

to climb aboard that big
commuter train in the sky,

I don't want
to be traveling south!

Now, the information you need

to promote your status
down there incriminates me!

Hey, I'm doing you a favor.

I mean, may-maybe
they'll make you a minion

right away.

Hey, I'm not going to hell.

(laughing):
Oh!

Come on, partner, will you?

Are you in for a surprise!

I've got it all planned.

I mean, I'm gonna
make it right when I'm old.

I'm gonna be like every other
philanthropist billionaire.

But financial security
comes first.

I mean, Jake,

I got it all worked out.

(cries and screams from below)

(gunshot)

Where are the files, Alex?

(gunshot)

Where'd you put them?

(whip cracking below)

(eerie, echoing voices)

Minions!

(echoing cries and screams)

(grunts)

Not yet.

I need more time.

You rookie. Did you really
think you'd get away?

I wasn't trying to get away.
I was looking for some papers.

Oh, you were just
looking for some papers?

And what does a drone like
you need papers for?

Oh, come on, buddy,
give me a break, will you?

I mean, I, I was just, I was
just hoping for a promotion.

I want to be one of you guys.

Oh, you want to
be a minion, huh?

You want a nice new suit and a
permanent pass upstairs, huh?

You want to kick butt on
a crew of drones, huh?

Yeah.

No way.

We don't get behind
small-time losers.

We aren't impressed
with petty, little, venial sins.

I was really a louse.

Just give me a minute
to find my files.

Wait a minute.

This man was the pillar
of the community.

He contributed ten percent
of his annual salary

to Catholic charities.
It was a

tax write-off.

He loved his wife.

Well, she was gorgeous.

Yeah, but you married her.

He supported
his elderly mother

in a fantastic
rest home.

Her insurance paid for it.

The man is a saint--
honest, upright, generous

in both his business
and personal life.

All right,
now get moving.

I'm taking you deeper,
two levels deeper,

and you're off sand detail
and on full-time torment.

You sold me down
the river, Alex,

just to save your own skin.

Come on, let's go.

You bet I did,
you sorry chump.

Red Leader.

(explosions, distant screaming)

MINION:
Sir...

permission to explain, sir.

Granted.

I apprehended this drone
in the act of escaping, sir.
I was coming up

because, look, I figured
Ah...

if I...
He...
Enough.

How do you think he escaped?

Uh, the jackhammer, sir.

Do you think he found it lying
around in the drones' lounge?

Pathetic morons.

I gave it to him.

(distant screaming)

Or rather, I left it
where he had to find it,

and then I put the idea

in his tiny, little mind

to pick it up.

Permission to ask why, sir.

Because I wanted an introduction

to Mr. Alex Hayes.

(distant screaming)

(whips cracking)

But first things first.

Take him down.

(distant wailing)

(sighs)

(whips cracking in distance)

JAKE:
Damn it, Alex.

You did it again.

You're always number one.

MINION:
Come on.

(distant screaming)

(mouthing)

(muffled explosion)

I've been looking forward
to meeting you

for a very long time.

As a matter of fact,
I was very disappointed

when it was Jake
who fell off that faulty girder.

You see,
I had it put there for you.

Me?

Why?

Alex, I'm looking
for a few good men

to help me run things
down there, men like you--

efficient, intelligent,

cutthroat,
able to get things done.

That's quite a compliment.

We're getting
a very poor quality

of damned souls these days--

petty larcenists,
minor-league grafters,

small-time embezzlers--

nothing like the grand old
sinners of the good old days.

No great spirits, whip crackers,

no down, dirty evildoers.

No one like you, Alex.

You are a man of destiny,

right up there
with Farentino,

Abdorrahman Khan,
Machiavelli.

I think you've got me mixed up
with someone else.

I'm a businessman.

I have an MBA from Yale.

Profits turn me on,
not fire and brimstone.

I thought
you might react that way.

But hear me out.

I've put together a very
tempting little package.

I'm offering you
instant minion leader status.

You'll be in charge
of 11 million drones

with full authority
to delegate responsibility,

solicit benefits,

inflict punishments.

When the palace
is finished,

we'll move you on up to other,
more challenging roles.

How would you like to be head

of the S.E.C.,
or maybe

pulling strings
at the World Bank?

(chuckles)

I guess I should be
flattered, uh...

but I'm not.

You've got the
wrong person.

I'm a nice guy.

I don't belong down there.

Alex, don't be so modest.

You're on the books already.

The moves you've made in the
three weeks since Jake's death

alone qualify you.

You've been working
on your r�sum�

a very long time.

May the 11th, this year.

AMANDA:
I suppose you're behind

the call I got from
the accountants telling me

I have no more stock
in Hayes & Cain.

HAYES:
It's just Hayes, Inc. now.

AMANDA:
What?

January the 13th, 1981.

JAKE:
But Alex, they're all real old.
It's 20 below zero out there.

HAYES:
So?

They've got sweaters.

There's money to be made.

Send those eviction notices.

All right.

I've done some fairly
questionable things

in my life,

but I'm not dead yet and
you can't take me alive.

I'll reform.

Please, please
do not even consider

blemishing
such a shining career.

I'll arrange a swift

and painless death
for you.

You and I will go
to great heights together.

Or should I say great depths?

Go back to where
you came from, Red.

I'm holding out
for a better deal.

Very well.

(faint, distant screaming)

I'll be seeing you again.

You and I are going
to close this deal...

one of these days.

(rumbling)

(whips cracking)

(distant screaming)

I'd better get rid
of all of the evidence.

Then I'll do a good deed.

(whip cracks)

What... what?

That's what I'll do.

I'll get all those old people
I threw out

and give them
an apartment building.

No, they're probably all dead
from the cold, anyway.

Damn it.

(door opening)

Alex, I've just been
to see my new lawyer, and...

Mandy.

What the hell happened
to your floor?

(door clangs shut)
Uh, it's nothing.

It's nothing.
It's okay, it's okay.

No, it's not okay.

Just shut up.

You really enjoy hurting people,
don't you?

No, you don't understand,
I-I-I-I...

I said shut up.

I am a

desperate woman.

Everything I worked for,
sacrificed for--

all those years with Jake--
you took it all away from me.

And you had a ball
doing it, didn't you?

Nothing matters to you
except making money.

You're not just
a cheat and a crook.

You're evil.

No, no, no, don't, don't.

I wasn't even sure
why I came back here, Alex,

but now I know.

Don't.

No.

(gunshot)

(grunts)

I warned you somebody was going
to bring you down one day, Alex.

Looks like it's
going to be me.

(loud thud)

Alex Hayes, rest in peace.

The end of a short
and happy career.

(door clangs shut)

RED LEADER (echoing):
Oh, no, Mrs. Cain,

only the beginning.

HAYES:
All right, Red,
what kind of a deal

are we really
talking about here?

I want salary,
commission, stock options.

RED LEADER (laughing):
That's my boy.

(explosions)

NARRATOR:
The dark side is always there.

Waiting for us to enter.

Waiting to enter us.

Until next time, try
to enjoy the daylight.