Original subtitles

Mel, can I get you to proof this?

Mel, which one?

This one.

Come on, people...

What have you done for me lately?

Overnights, Mel, read them and weep!

Where's Boise? I don't see Boise.

Where's Pakistan? Come on!

Mel baby, you're going to just love today.

I better, Alan.

I don't see much team work!

Caroline, my coffee is cold.

"We tell ourselves we are after the truth."

"We tell ourselves we deal in facts."

"And yet for those of us...

who've been in my business long enough...

we're haunted by the realization that the facts alone...

don't always lead to the truth."

From the White House after the speech, okay?

No spin!

Do not tolerate any spin what so ever...

Where's Boise?

"Like most of the really important stories we covered, this one...

the biggest armed confrontation in America since the Civil War...

started with seemingly unrelated incidence...

that had first been almost unnoticed...

and then spun out of control."

Most of you know, Governor Farleys on his way back from Washington...

he'll be addressing you at some point later today or tomorrow.

However...

he has authorized me to make this statement on his behalf.

"Effective immediately...

the State of Idaho is closing it's borders...

if necessary, by the use of force."

"I have ordered our state troopers...

to set up check-points on the boarders."

"And no one will be allowed in without authorization...

from the Idaho authorities."

"There will be no questions at this time."

He's closing the borders, people.

Thank God for arrogance, lust and greed...

or we'd all be doing infomercials.

Let's go people, I smell a twenty share!

Where the hell is Pakistan? Where's the White House?

Do we still have a White House or has Tokyo foreclosed on it?

- Coming up! - We'll return to Boise momentarily.

"Meanwhile, developments in Pakistan are continuing as more orphans...

are being assembled for the flight to America."

"It is now thirty eight days since the event that started it all."

"The nuclear explosion from the Indian missiles...

that devastated over ten thousand square miles of the area...

around the Pakistani Capitol of Islamabad."

"At the Peshaware airport in Northern Pakistan...

the first of several plane loads of children...

orphaned by the atomic blast, is preparing to leave."

"Destination: Twin Falls, Idaho."

"The rescue mission is under the supervision of Amelia Sims...

head of the controversial, Give to the Children Corporation."

"However, as we've just reported...

Governor Farley has closed the border of that state."

"As politicians maneuver...

behind the scenes to avoid a crisis...

a confrontation seems increasingly inevitable."

"The governors press secretary...

has said that no one will be allowed in...

without permission from the Idaho authorities..."

Jesus Christ!

The country's becoming un-glued and the bird goes down!

It's not off the satellite we got Bombay...

- off the same bird. - I don't care what it is, okay.

I want the orphans.

Can't do it, we're losing them.

Go to the White House. Go ahead. Go!

"We apologize for the technical difficulties."

"Steven Kingsley is standing by at the White House...

with a live report."

Helena, Matthew, we've just seen an indication...

of the way the White House is handling these events.

"When Jack Buchan, high powered lobbyist...

and unofficial Public Relations advisor to the President...

arrived here as President of Cathers and Hilton...

the huge Washington P.R. firm."

"Buchan is not a member of the Cabinet...

but in times of extreme crisis...

he is often seen around the White House."

So, what do the polls say?

Fifty two percent are in favor of strong action.

There is no other kind, Idaho will be stopped.

- I want those orphans in there. - Yes, sir.

What do the polls show in Florida?

Florida was the swing vote in the last election.

In Florida only thirty eight percent are in favor of strong action...

and most of them are over the age of seventy five.

Statistically...

most of them will be dead before the next election.

Dead supporters are the worst.

I mean, they take up a ton of your time...

and then where the hell are they when you need them?

Shit. So, what do we do?

Sometimes, the best action is no action.

Well, nobody believes in action more than I do, Mike.

Mr. President.

I think the answer is to move the whole damn thing up...

to a new paradigm, like...

I'm talking about moving it onto the image level.

Now, that's my business, I know image.

And the great thing about image is that...

you look like you're doing something strong...

but you don't necessarily do it.

That way, they nail you and... There's nothing to hit.

And?

I got them! Mel, I got them back.

The first plane load of orphans is in the air.

It's the one we put Tony Phillips on.

But they may have to make an emergency landing somewhere.

What do you mean emergency land...

Get Phillips on the horn, please.

What is our 20 at JFK, please?

Keep them out of the bathroom! You cannot have...

"Tony what the hell's going on up there?"

Mell, for Christ sake, I got no control over it.

We got a plane full of orphans...

and the toilets have stopped working, okay.

- "So what?" - Look...

we just have to land in Newfoundland just for a few hours to fix it.

"Tony?"

Let me ask you something, do you want to land at JFK...

in the middle of the afternoon when nobody is watching...

and maybe get a 1.2 share?

Or do you want to land at JFK primetime in the morning...

and perhaps garner a 28 share?

"What you want, Tony?"

Mel, I'm telling you, this is a flying planeload of shit!

"Tony, this is the biggest story in the last half of the century...

and you are the human side of it, okay?"

So, whatever you have to do to keep those kids up there...

stick a cork up their asses, you do it.

- Do you understand? What? - Hey, Mel!

Idaho is coming.

We apologize again for the technical difficulties.

We'll return to the orphans remaining...

at the Pakistan airport for their flight to America.

Excuse me, Helena. We have just received word that...

Governor Farley will be returning to the State House momentarily.

And as you know the Governor expected to make some sort of statement...

within the next twenty-four hours.

"And he's certainly one of the more controversial...

governor's in this country."

"Once known for his liberal views Jim Farley has been criticized...

for playing to State's conservative majority."

"And indeed, Governor Farleys approval ratings have jumped...

twelve percentage points...

since he adopted his bold anti-immigration stance...

an outgrowth of his successful reelection campaign...

which played to a theme that still resonates today."

"America. As it should be."

"Governor Farley has just arrived on the steps of the Capital."

"Let's switch there now. Live."

Okay, line up the reacts from the White House.

Tell Kingsley to get the President!

Get the President, like in send out a search party?

- Correct. - Who's got Christina Fernandez?

Christina?

Yes.

The universe shall unfold as it does, ladies and gentlemen.

Governor!

- Alan? - Govenor, answer the question...

Alan, I could hardly hear you. The balloon's going up.

"I know. You'll be hearing from me soon on the matter."

"Yes, you will."

This is what it comes down to.

One guy controls the fate of the whole damn country?

You've all been very understanding.

Yes, tomorrow. Guaranteed.

My life is out of control.

Christ, she hardly acknowledges I'm alive.

You saw her out there, it's like I'm a goddamn window...

she looked right through me!

But Governor, I don't know if this is really the time...

to let her be getting to you like this. I mean...

What the hell is it with women?

Christ. Doesn't going to bed...

and fucking your brains out mean anything anymore?

Well, Governor, I can get the State Troopers...

to cut you another one out of the heard.

There's plenty of cocktail waitresses...

you ain't been through down there at the Frontier Lounge.

I want Christina.

What is it with her? She knows I can't leave my wife.

Well, Governor, you got a crisis to handle...

and she knows damn well you do.

That's the problem with women they never listen to reason.

"It's your fault!"

Governor, the White House just called.

Goddammit, get the hell out of here. This is important.

Close the damn door!

The White House...

Look, Governor...

I'll see what I can do to get her thinking straight again.

But right now you got to get yourself ready...

to go out there in front of the whole damn country tomorrow.

Politics is just another form of sex.

You know that, don't you?

- Jim, I need you to do... - Mel, I just got through...

to Tony Phillips, I'm going to go out to JFK...

and meet the plane in the morning.

I need you here.

Yeah, but I'd do better work out there.

Jim, I don't want better work, alright?

I need grab-them-by-the-throat news.

Alright? Haven't you noticed ethics and taste are passe, history...

- this is not the '90s anymore, Jim. - Mel, you're living proof of it.

- Tony Phillips is holding on line 5. - You know something?

I hold you responsible for my predicament.

Let me explain, when I was in J school...

I used to watch you on ABC and I'd say...

"Look at that dignity and class."

"Maybe you could be in news without being a cynical cog...

in some son of a bitch corporate structure."

Boy, was I conned. You suckered me in.

- I'm going to get you for that. - Mel, you have many times.

- Tony, it's Jim again. - "You want us to do what?"

"Just a minute. Jim, hold on."

"We will not be silenced by some ridiculous need for primetime."

Tony, grab yourself a barf bag...

and put Miss First Amendment on the line.

"It's Mel Burgess, our executive producer."

"He wants to talk to you."

"Hot wire to the..."

Having quite a ride up there, aren't you, Miss Sims?

Mr. Burgess, was is it that you want?

Well, I just wanted you to know if you didn't land in Newfoundland...

and arrived at JFK in the middle of morning primetime...

"Yeah, well, what the hell do I care about primetime?"

Miss Sims, let's face it right now you're a two-bit charity, okay?

But if you land at JFK...

smack in the middle of morning primetime...

America sees these kids getting off the plane in their wretched state...

you will be inundated with money, Miss Sims.

You'll be bigger than "Save the Children"!

Well, that is the most ridiculous thing that I...

Did he say, bigger than "Save the Children"?

Everybody's got a magic button, our job, find it and push it.

Okay, Jim, you're it.

Orphan patrol, get to JFK...

keep them up there for a couple hours until prime time.

"There is still no word from the White House...

but unofficially, one aide has said that...

and I quote, 'Strong action will be taken'."

Governor Farley won't come to the telephone.

Fuck.

So, what now?

Well, if that son of a bitch is...

going to make the speech I think he's going to make...

then he could wipe us out.

I smell an Image Deficiency Syndrome on our hands.

What the hell are we talking about...

Image Deficiency Syndrome?

If I may, sir.

When I set up your election campaign I knew you'd be elected...

like all other Presidents because of image.

Now, no disrespect, sir...

but the American people vote for the sizzle, not the steak...

its only afterwards that the poor bastards...

have to bite into that fat and gristle.

- This is not about image! - I beg your pardon, Warren.

Mr. President, we're dealing with something a hell of a lot more...

than just "messy reality" here.

See, at my shop we represent everyone...

from the Apple Growers Association to the Government of Zimbodway.

And I've got a dozen clients...

who are going to load their collective pants...

if that son of a bitch looks like he's going to run circles around us.

No one's going to run circles around us, Chuck.

Exactly.

Now, we've an election next year and unless you keep that in mind...

when it's over this President...

could be out building houses for the poor like Jimmy Carter.

I've never even fixed a faucet.

Jim's at JFK! Hang in there, Jim.

Idaho's coming up! Farley's about to make his speech!

Christina, stay with him all the way up to the podium, okay?

You stay with him!

Mel, he's not even here, he's still upstairs.

It's going to be a feeding frenzy down here.

But you see, Governor...

you got to look at this as an opportunity, not a problem.

I don't see this as much of an opportunity, Jimmy.

Hell, she's talking about wanting to get transferred out of state!

So, there you go now, you stand up there...

you make that speech in a few minutes...

she's going to be watching you like a hound in heat.

- You really think so? - You're goddamn right.

I mean, women love power.

They swarm around it like flies around shit.

I mean, how could she do this to me?

We made love just last Friday, right here in this office.

On that damn couch you're sitting on right now.

You know, counting for loyalty these days?

- By the way your wife called. - Cover for me.

Planeful of orphans, one hour out of JFK!

So, Caroline, you want to be in the news business...

start thinking train wrecks, electronic train wrecks...

only the trains are people, like Farley and the White House...

all we do is put them on the same track...

and let them head towards each other.

You told me she was staying here, and I'm telling you she's gone.

She's here. Let's just keep movin.

Good morning.

You all know that I've just ordered the borders of Idaho to be closed.

Now, this action is being implemented to preserve our way of life.

The American dream that has been falsely...

and cynically held out to the entire rest of the world...

which has grown by a billion people in merely the last ten years...

count them folks, one billion.

Standing room only from Maine to California.

And by, by allowing the stampede of...

Whatever you want to call them, immigrants, refugees...

illegals, legals, migrants, aliens, you name it...

we are being swamped.

"And we are destroying our own way of life...

at a time when the business community...

has presided over the wholesale destruction of...

our manufacturing capability, shift it overseas."

- I don't know. - "In the name of efficiency..."

I liked him better when he was a blonde.

"We are told that we have to stand by...

and let the rest of the world flood into America!"

Steady with these kids.

What? Hello? Come on.

Where's the news crew?

Excuse... I don't see...

Is that? Hi, are you with the News Net?

- Yes. - Amelia Sims.

- Is this the camera? Yeah. - News Net control room.

Tony's in pretty bad shape.

- "That's why you're there, Jim." - That's good, honey.

Okay, this one, too. All of these are orphans...

- "Folks, America is no longer..." - The global village on primetime...

Boys, if it ain't on the screen, it ain't happening.

Lets go, bring it in. Come on!

- Standby in Effects 2, this is... - Yes. Good.

"This group of activists, who have decided on their own...

to bring into Idaho thousands and thousands...

of these unfortunate Pakistan children...

who've been orphaned by that terrible war..."

Beautiful.

"And the people of this state to mind our own business."

Well, as it turns out, that is exactly what I tend to do.

I mean, I was not elected by the people...

Of Idaho...

to...

"to..."

"to preside over this solution" of our way of life.

Therefore...

I am taking control of all matters related to our own borders.

And to immigration and citizenship.

This is unconstitutional. You can't do this.

I just have. Thank you.

"Come on, Christina, stay with the Governor!"

Goddamnit. The Governor's the center of the whole thing!

Go in closer. Closer.

Any closer and I'd be going down on him.

What was the question, Miss Fernandez?

Christina, stay with the Governor.

What the hell's going on with her, she's always right on top of him.

I'm trying to tell you...

Hey, Troy.

Look, come on, sugar, I don't mean any harm.

I just thought you might want a little quality time...

to patch up this little lovers tiff that you and him have.

Mr. Cannon, I don't need you to sort out my personal life.

Come on, Darling.

Hey, I'm just trying to be a friend here, okay?

And he is crazy about you, you know that.

Please.

It was an affair, okay? Let's just keep it at that.

Right now, I just need to remember...

that I'm a reporter and get on with my life.

You know, I'm always amazed at how wrong I can be.

You know, hell, I figured you really had a thing for him.

Are you aware that I was born in Mexico?

See, I came here when I was three years old.

That makes me an immigrant.

He wants to keep people like me out.

So, I'm out.

Aren't you taking this a little personally?

I hope so.

He wants to marry you.

He what?

Look, the budget's all blown to hell.

- Why can't we take at least a few... - Sorry, I'm late.

But those darned orphans didn't read the inter-office memo.

"When I started out as a reporter, the world seemed more remote."

"News came at us slower, in ways we could absorb."

"We never dreamed of satellite feeds...

or live reports from distant lands...

but now, Idaho and Pakistan might as well be right next door."

"The entire world is swarming into our video monitors...

as well as into the towns and cities of America...

and it's changing us all."

"And you tell yourself, you're a pro...

that you can handle the passions and tensions...

without letting your own feelings get in the way."

"At least, that's what you tell yourself."

This network, isn't that worth a little bit of money?

What do we got on the White House?

- Hi you, Sandy. - Still nothing, the scum buckets.

- They're your people. - Bullshit, Alan!

Alright, stop. What about the backgrounds?

We got one running right now.

Okay, I want backgrounders on everything, environment...

immigration, refugees, the whole nine yards, okay?

- Blitz it. - "The three freighters...

filled with Albanians fleeing the Russian conflict...

have been refused entry at the already crowded port of...

- Charleston, South Carolina." - Yes, we should ignore the fact...

the economic infrastructure of every American city is crumbling.

It's not the fault of the refugees and the immigrants...

For Christ sake, Alan...

that's not even the goddamn issue right now.

It's right in the middle of the fucking issue.

"The crisis began when 3 million starving refugees fled...

Figian Province."

- "The pesticides that seeped..." - Human beings...

let it get out of control, this is not some act of God.

They had their worst famine...

in the last hundred and fifty years, for Christ sake.

Could I have a glass of milk with this, please?

"There's no way I'm going to let Idaho go...

like other small population states like Rhode Island...

which became almost totally Chinese in six years...

when it was swamped by refugees..."

"Millions of Chinese settled in Rhode Island...

in the same Presidential election year...

when the controversial department of ethnic affairs was created."

So, its our fault they cut down all their forests...

or breed like rabbits and then want to come to America?

Don't talk to me about breeding, I'm eating, here.

I'm not talking about breeding.

I'm talking about the social situation on the planet.

"Agents of the U.S. Border Patrol...

have been unable to stem the unprecedented numbers of...

- Salvadorians flooding into USA." - The Chinese item we'll let on...

but drop any Latin stuff.

We've got too many Hispanic advertisers.

For christ sake, are we still a news organization...

or are we the home shopping network now?

Chris, don't bite the hand that feeds you...

which happens to include Hispanic advertisers.

The country is, you know...

"El Country-o es muy" fucked up...

Can you network guys understand that?

You got an attitude problem.

I find this impassioned tone of yours very offensive.

I'm offensive? Jesus...

Africa's a mess. Use the last Rwanda massacre.

- There are no Rwanda advertisers. - "Third time in recent years...

the people of Rwanda are being massacred at an alarming rate."

"Entire villages are being wiped out."

Heads up everyone, orphan alert!

JFK is coming in.

Second batch of Pakistani orphans. Runway 23.

And what have you done for Mel lately?

"To Runway 23 at JFK International Airport."

"News Nets Jim Kallas there."

"This is Jim Kalla, the News Net...

- I'm here with Amelia Sims of..." - "Thank you. Alright."

"Let me just say that we are...

bringing these children to our shelters in Idaho...

come hell or high water, and it's our right."

"And no Governor is going to stop it, let me also say that this is..."

Standby Boise, as soon as we dump JFK, we'll be coming to you.

I love the smell of burning ambition.

"And we are going to deal with them and...

let me just also say that the organization'll be open..."

"Of course I care about those poor Pakistan orphans...

but I don't live in Pakistan, I live here!"

"This is where..."

"This is what I'm all about, the American dream."

How come every time I see that guy I think I'm going to barf?

Alan, anything American makes you want to barf!

Stop with the cause debates, we're news, alright.

Emotions happen outside.

"Governor Farley!"

Folks, the Governor.

Good morning.

That's cute.

Folks...

I know you all want to let the Governor know...

just how much you're supporting him...

but if you could just give us a few minutes...

to discuss some important matters, I'd really appreciate it.

Is there a room that we could use?

Why sure, you could use our bedroom, right down the hall.

Turn left at the rocket launcher.

Excuse us. Thank you.

- Hey, big fella. - You got to talk to these people.

Hey. Jesus.

I'm tellin you, this is getting to be too much.

- What is? - Christina, she's...

She's not out there.

- Governor, I've got it wired... - Jesus Christ.

Who keeps a bowl of grenades in their bedroom?

Jesus, Howard, get away from there!

Look, I got it wired. I've talked to News Net people...

and told them that we'd give her an exclusive...

so they're on her to stay close.

Now, let's just think about those people in the next room?

I mean, these militia folks can come in real handy.

What the hell is this?

Bosoms and bazookas?

Maybe Ladies Auxiliary? I don't know.

Jesus Christ.

I don't know about all this.

Governor, lets just not forget who voted for you?

I mean, the whole goddamn state's one big militia now.

"As Governor Farley avoided reporters questions...

on his links with militia groups..."

It doesn't make any sense.

Just because we got a President...

who's face belongs on the back of milk cartons...

doesn't mean that the whole goddamn White House got to be quiet.

Its fishy.

Steve, smoke them out.

And what amazes most observers here...

there still been no response from the President.

Well, you got the Chief of Staff, what more do you want?

Same to you.

The President's on his way, but before he arrives...

- a few things I want to go over. - Mr. Buchan...

since when does a lobbyist set the agenda for the White House?

Mr. Secretary.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that "L" word you just used.

I'm a political facilitator.

You can pretend what you want, Jack.

But we're trying to handle a crisis here.

- Really Mike? - Yes.

Well, I think its time we started considering that...

a Presidents first four year term is what he's got to put up with...

in order to get himself elected again.

Tell me something I don't know.

"There is speculation that the White House's in some disarray...

and that the President has become...

politically immobilized...

- by events that are..." - What did I tell you?

The bastards are trying to smoke us out.

Now, look, people...

This Presidents going to end up as confused as a goat on astro-turf.

- Unless we're careful. - Careful about what?

Every President has his foibles, this one just needs a role model.

Now, I've been through this with him before...

that last crisis, that Trade War thing.

We got him all fired up over Harry Truman and it worked.

When it ended...

I swear, I thought he was going to nuke the Japs all over again.

And, on this one...

we have to bring him up to something more...

Statesman like, like Roosevelt.

Excellent question.

What would Roosevelt have done if hed had this crisis?

Especially when they're playing the "orphan card."

Well, we should be playing our own orphan card.

Exactly.

Sir, what exactly is our "orphan card?"

Mr. President, its a deadline.

Precisely! It's a deadline...

we're giving Idaho to get those damn orphans in there.

Seventy-two hours, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Teddy Roosevelt would've played the orphan card.

No, Mr. President...

I was referring to F.D.R. Franklin Roosevelt.

Teddy Roosevelt.

When he lead the rough riders over the hill...

on that charge when he declared war on Spain...

now that was an orphan card.

Shit.

I know something's going on, I could smell it a mile away.

Somethins happening... Caroline!

Did we fire that odd ball, Techy Godfrey from the last cutback?

No, his office is down stairs.

- What room? - Fifty-five.

So, Tom comes up to me you know, Brocaugh, and he says...

"Vincent, you belong on camera, on camera..."

Godfrey, tell me you know something. What's going on?

BTU's.

This is something I've been doing calculations on for months...

the Pentagon on a "normal night."

Taken from the infrared satellite that I got us to buy time on.

You remember how the twenty-second floor...

didn't want to put money into it.

How they said, infrared was dead, microwave maybe...

I remember, Godfrey. I was thrilled for you, go ahead.

On a normal night...

the Pentagon gives off a fairly constant amount of heat.

About 3.28 million BTUs, that's British Thermol Units...

its a way of measuring how...

Yeah.

But here is how it looked ten minutes ago.

You see this hot spot right here?

All the lights and electrical equipment...

it added an extra half million BTUs.

- So? - Well, I...

I don't have a spectrum analysis they wouldn't authorize...

the system upgrade at the last budget meeting...

Godfrey, forget about spectrum analysis...

stay with the BTUs and how they relate to the orphans...

that's why we're here.

This is where they plan military operations.

Holy shit.

Look here, North Carolina half an our ago.

You see this little area right here lit up like an infra-red blowtorch.

What about it?

That's Fort Brag, home of the 173rd Airborne.

Jesus Christ. We're going to invade Idaho...

over a bunch of orphans.

Get me to the White House.

I don't care if you have to use tear gas...

get the President out of there.

Who's at Fort Brag?

"News Net has just learned that...

two battalions from Fort Brag have been put on alert...

and are preparing to be moved to Utah near the Idaho border."

"You actually want me to believe they're sending in troops?"

"They may have a credibility gap in Washington...

but even the lobbyists that swarm all over that city..."

"Are you're telling me that...

the White House is still denying reports that...

Federal troops are being shipped to the Idaho boarder?"

So, we're in the Eisenhower mode? Jack, I think Ike's a great idea.

Well, thank you, Mr. President.

Eisenhower had a calming influence.

Yes, I thought you would like that, sir.

And he gave fabulous deadlines. I saw the videos you gave me.

That's what I want to talk to you about, Sir.

Seventy-two hours, three days, has a nice ring to it.

- That's the problem, Sir. - What is?

Well, the seventy-two hours, the end of seventy two hours...

Falls right in the middle of...

"All My Children."

What the hell is, "All My Children"?

It's a soap opera.

Remember what happened last time we preempted those soap operas?

Women all over the country went absolutely ape...

went crazy.

Jack, let's understand something.

I wasn't elected President...

to sit back and watch the United States disintegrate.

Here.

Sir, we lost the women's vote last time.

Shouldn't have happened.

It's Susan Luchis final episode.

- She's about to leave her husband. - Excuse me?

Susan, the star of "All My Children."

Shes about to leave her husband and run off with Antonio.

- The gardener? - Yes.

- Erica's running off with Antonio? - Exactly.

Would it be possible that, for the sake of the country...

Erica not run off with the gardener for a few days?

Well, I checked with the network.

The episodes already been taped, it airs in three days...

right smack dab in the middle of our deadline.

Eisenhower would've changed the deadline.

It's a soap opera, for Christ sakes.

Since when does a soap opera control the future of the country?

Why do you keep asking me if I love him?

Hey, I'm just trying to help.

I mean, I can see the pain you're in.

The pain is from you trying to get me back...

into something that made me crazy.

Look, I only know what I see.

And I see you hurt more now than you ever did before.

Tell me I'm wrong. But I know I'm not, Darling.

Phone message, Jimmy. Code Blue.

In a minute.

Governor, Mrs. Fernandez is here to discuss the News Net interview.

- Where's the last Code Blue? - Three.

Hello, Mrs. Farley, how are you?

Good.

No, he's behind closed doors right now.

Well, its very important, its with a foreign dignitary.

Right.

No problem. I'll have the fella go shopping for you.

Right. The Popov Vodka. Good. Bye.

You're all aware of the proclamations coming from Idaho...

where the Governor of the state has said it is his intention...

to close the borders to a group of refugee children.

This action is unconstitutional.

And it represents an illegal challenge...

"to the authority of the Federal government."

He's actually going to have to make a decision.

Christina, I don't care what you have to do...

to get access to Farley, do it.

Christina?

- So much. - No.

I don't believe you anymore...

and I don't believe myself anymore either.

I mean, what the hell am I doing with a married man?

Eleanor and I have not lived as man and wife...

For three years.

And she doesn't understand you and the check is in the mail...

and I'm really Irish.

Television has just fucking gone crazy.

I just...

I just thought maybe we could go away...

somewhere for a couple of days.

Just get away from all this.

"And I'm calling on Governor Farley, who I know is watching this...

- to recognize the hour of peril..." - Christina, where are you?

I need a reaction, please!

"Christina?"

Mel, I want a transfer.

Christina, this is not the appropriate time.

"I want to go somewhere..."

and have babies and lead a normal sane life...

and I want to get up in the morning...

and drive kids to school and I want a husband I can trust.

Please, no mommy-track crisis now.

Christina, please!

"It was almost half a century ago...

that another President, Dwight D. Eisenhower...

found it necessary to use U.S. troops...

to enforce the constitutional rights of the Federal government...

when the state of Arkansas refused to obey a Supreme Court order."

"If necessary, I will do the same."

"I am therefore declaring a deadline of sixty-seven...

and a half hours from now."

- Sixty-seven and a... - "By which time...

- the state of Idaho must comply..." - The fuck is that?

"The constitutional prerogatives of the Federal government...

of these United States of America."

- "As they we're delineated by..." - What an asshole.

That dumb son of a bitch.

Up to his ass in lobbyists and deals to keep himself in power.

Now he tries to be Eisenhower.

Like a dwarf trying to be a high jumper.

Goddamit.

How the hell did we let it all get to this?

Sixty-seven and a half hours?

Okay, do it.

Put up the road blocks, and I promised...

you know that News Net lady an exclusive.

Governor!

You're supposed to brief Colonel McNally, Sir, right away.

You know the one? Yeah.

"I have today issued an executive order...

directing the use of troops..."

"There have been comparisons made between the President...

and former President Dwight D. Eisenhower."

"It was in 1958 that Eisenhower sent in troops...

to forcibly integrate the public schools in Little Rock."

"Observers say that the President's actions are..."

Okay, people, the whole country is tuned in!

Meaning, it's primetime for the next three days...

twenty-four hours a day, nobody goes home.

The Feds are on their way, okay? Everybody on deck?

Karachi, New York, the White House, Boise.

Who's on the Idaho border?

Vinnie.

Vinnie? Vinnie Franco?

Yeah.

Man, that John Wayne was a hell of soldier?

Hey, Vinnie, he was an actor.

Bullshit, if they'd a put the Duke in charge of Vietnam...

we would've been out of that war in a fucking week.

Hey, what are you doing turning the sound up?

I told you, you're going to blow the fucking speakers on this thing.

I didn't.

Holy shit.

Hello? Hey!

Hey, who are you guys?

Who are you?

- Who are you? - I asked first.

I ain't telling till you do.

We're a News Net crew.

- No kidding? - Yeah.

Hey, Charlie, Sam, its News Net, we're going to be on TV.

Goddamn.

I'm Arnold Tooney, Jr., two "os" in Tooney.

I own a drugstore in Boise.

Really?

Well, I might be slow, Arnold, but where I come from...

guys who own drugstores don't drive around in tanks...

- You know what I mean? - Bet some of them do.

On weekends, at least.

You're not the army, you're the National Guard.

Idaho National Guard.

Fuck.

Boys, looks like Idaho's going to war.

God.

"I smell another fucking Emmy, here."

There are sixty-five hours left in the Presidents ultimatum.

There now exists the possibility of...

American troops fighting against other American troops...

for the first time since the Civil War.

"Despite a complete press blackout established by...

by the military on both sides...

we're expecting exclusive coverage potentials..."

Civil War?

The Second Civil War.

The Second Civil War. Get me graphics!

Alright.

Okay, we have... We have not sought...

nor will we instigate any combat situation.

But I am hereby serving notice on the Federal government...

that should any armed hostilities break out...

the State of Idaho will immediately secede from the United States.

And with Governor Farleys dramatic declaration of secession...

America appears just days away from a deepening crisis.

Some observers fear the possibility of an armed attack...

by Federal troops.

An announcement from the White House is expected within the hour.

Brendon.

I'm going to need an Eisenhower kind of quote.

Something with a ring of leadership to it.

An Eisenhower quote. I'll do me best, sir.

I'm sure you will, Brendon. Thank you very much.

Now, we're going to need another Eisenhower quote.

So, let's dream one up lads.

It's blackmail! No blackmail.

We'll not be party to such high-handed...

- tactics. - No.

How about this, in my judgement...

we got to call in the army because otherwise...

The flower of democracy will not be trampled...

under the foot of rebellion.

That's closer, Vaclav.

But still, I'm missing the poetry boys.

Raul, let's hear it, lad.

We must endure...

and we must prevail if the slender thread of truth...

is to remain woven into the fabric of civilized life.

Slender thread of truth.

"And just as Eisenhower said years ago."

"We must endure, we must prevail, if the slender thread of truth...

is to remain woven into the fabric of civilized life."

"It was with that sentiment...

that my predecessor of so many years ago..."

That Eisenhower had a way with words.

"Washington continues to mobilize troops...

with sixty-four hours left, two battalions from North Carolina."

"An entire brigade from the 1st Infantry...

and several armored companies from Texas are being sent to Utah...

not far from the Idaho border.

"Citizens from across that state...

are signing up as volunteers in the National Guard."

"Others are rallying around the various private militias...

that support Governor Farley."

Hi, folks. How's everybody doing?

Good. We're a News Net crew from New York city.

Well, near New York, it's practically New Jersey.

We're here because we want to tell your side of the story.

Now, I know you're probably pretty suspicious of the media...

because of the way they've portrayed you in the past.

Let's face the facts, why not?

They're always portraying you as these...

sort of stereo-typical, ultra-right-wing, gun crazed...

union-busting, wackos.

Good, Vinnie.

But, I'll tell you what...

let's take this opportunity to jump right over those...

left wing liberal East coast media-elite-types...

and bring your story right to the American people.

"And that's why I'm supporting Governor Farley.

"The foreigners are taking our jobs, and enough is enough."

"Because I want my grandson to live in country...

where we don't owe every cent to bankers from around the world."

"Well, I knew it was time for me and my brother Alan here...

to start buying missiles to defend our farm...

from the Federal government...

that was trying to take all our guns away."

"And once all the guns are gone...

who's going to stand up to the people that are...

trying to take your freedom away?"

Goddamit, Christina, please don't do this.

Come here.

I've already done it. I've asked for a transfer.

- Why? - Because I'm Mexican.

I should be reporting from Tijuana, not Boise, for Pete's sake...

- Please. - People are watching.

Christina, don't let all this national issue stuff...

screw things up between you and me.

Just because you're Mexican is no reason to go crazy.

And I'm not just keepin back Mexicans...

its everyone from Afgans to Zambians.

Now just don't make this into a personal thing...

between you and me. Now, come on.

I feel sick.

What's wrong with you?

I've been sick for three days.

I have to go.

Christina.

- Steve! Get an ambulance! - No. I'm okay.

- I'm okay. I just want to be alone. - You sure?

You know who fucked it up?

All your mink coat "do-gooders" who talk more about their rights...

than their duties throwing money at every problem they see.

Fuck you, Chris, alright.

Half the people I went to school with can't get jobs now.

So, seal the borders, bring the jobs back.

There's more to life than cheap sneakers.

This is not a fraternity, alright.

We're a news network, we got work to do...

Mel, Jim, I got this idea...

that hits exactly what you're talking about.

- What is it? - Anybody want coffee?

The orphans, right.

Okay, Rachel, bring up JFK.

Okay, you remember those old rockin rollers from years ago...

they sang "We Are The World."

Well, how about we get a copy of the old video of them...

singing their hearts out, you know, noble, caring humanity...

the world coming together, brighter day and all that shit.

We intercut it with shots of these orphans.

I mean, these orphans are alive...

but hell, we could get some dead ones.

You know and you cut back and forth between these wonderful lyrics...

and maybe go instrumental like a...

like violins over the orphans, I mean...

Christ, who in their right mind would ever tune that out...

and go to the home shopping network, I ask you?

Mel, the border just came alive.

It's a hell of an idea, Matthew, work on it.

But also you could superimpose...

a face of the rock musicians on the orphans to make them look like...

they're playing the instruments.

Or you could take the...

the orphans faces and put them on the rock musicians...

and make them look like they're singing...

Or you could take a hologram of one of the rock, musicians...

and put them amongst the orphans...

Mary Anne?

Is anybody listening to me in Brownsville?

Mary Anne? Hello?

Mel, I'm having trouble hearing you.

Theres huge numbers of Mexicans pouring over the border.

I'm ready.

"And these people streaming across...

the Rio Grande from Mexico into Texas...

are moving north for the same reason...

as those in California, Arizona and New Mexico."

- "A fear that Governor..." - "Mel, why am I here in Boise?"

"My parents crossed the border, just like those people are now."

"I should be on the border, not Mary Anne Wong."

Christina, I can't have Mexicans covering Mexicans.

and Arabs covering Arabs.

Mel, its L.A.

Later, Christina.

Okay, people, teamwork!

"Let's go now to Los Angeles where the mayor...

Javier Clarke is speaking."

Shit. Simul...

Where the hell's simultaneous translation?

- What? - Where's Domingo?

- Domingo! - Domingo's wife is having a baby.

Wait. Christina?

- Christina, honey, I need you to... - Don't honey me. You cut me off.

It was a snafoo, Darling, please, listen to me.

We're patching up a feed from L.A.

Do me a favor and do the simultaneous translation.

I'm a reporter, not a translator.

Christina, I'm begging you, okay.

For all that we've meant to each other?

All we've meant to each other?

Are you crazy? Never.

And there is no question of the so-called border...

being closed unless we agree.

Just because Mr. Farley...

and his anglos want to set the clock back...

and keep us in our place for the next two centuries...

whatever the politicians up North want to do, that's there problem...

but here its different.

The border is no longer just a matter for Washington...

or the Senor Farleys of the world, no.

We have as much to say over the border...

as any bureaucrat in Washington.

See, Los Angeles is not simply American territory anymore...

I mean, just listen to our name...

- Los Angeles. - What is she doing?

Letting us all know how much you've meant to each other.

These are the names that our people gave them...

before the lands were ripped them from their ancestors...

and distributed them among the anglos!

Well, who do we have there, anybody?

Mohammed Amin!

"Over there! The roof sniper!"

"We are trying to establish contact with reporter...

Mohammad Amin."

- "Mohammad?" - "Helena, you see them shooting!"

"It is still going on. I saw three. Maybe four snipers on the roof."

"One was wearing the colors of one of the city's black gangs...

and they said that they will stop the Latinos...

from completely takin over Los Angeles."

"The black gangs have said...

they will not recognize Mexican authority here!"

"Does anybody here speak English?"

"Anybody?"

"Arabic?"

That is why I'm closing the damn border.

Governor, Colonel McNally on the phone.

Governor, we can see two bus loads of orphans...

being unloaded the other side of the border here.

"I just want to clarify our mission with...

respect to these children."

What do we do, if they march them up...

between us and the Federal troops?

"You could always tell when a crisis...

started really affecting us."

"When it gets too close to home, all the bad taste jokes cease."

"And when the orphans move up to the Idaho border...

people started looking harder at the images of those kids."

"Of the soldiers."

"And the ordinary people, like themselves."

What the hell are they doing bringing orphans to a fucking war zone?

Vinnie, for Christ sake shut up, we're taping you, moron.

I'm going to give this woman a piece of my mind.

Vinnie, don't go down there.

"Come on, fellas!"

Eddie, what's going on?

Show me a picture. What's happening there?

"You cocksucker!"

"Hey, Mel."

"You know, we're just looking for my contact lens."

- "Here it is. It's right here." - "Great!"

"Alright, I guess we're ready then."

- "Yeah, got it." - "Alright, lets shoot."

Idiots.

And with no sign that the deadline will be...

extended by the President both sides are hardening their positions.

Federal troops are arriving at Hill Air Base in Northern Utah.

"So far, more than 8,000 combat ready troops are there...

under the command of General Charles Buford."

"Buford was second-in-command of the army unit sent into Algeria...

to rescue the hundreds of American oil workers...

facing execution by Islamic fundamentalists."

What the hell is he doing?

I've been waiting twelve years for this candy-ass.

Hey, Chuck. Fuck you.

No, you ain't. Not after what you did to us...

in the Persian Gulf, you...

Why you puffed up piece a shit if you hadn't been chasing headlines...

I was supposed to get into Kuwait city first.

It was mine, goddamit.

Who's fault was it that you stopped, for an interview with ABC news?

And you lied to me about your position, didn't you?

Of course I did, Chuck.

It was a race, and I got to Kuwait first!

Well, fuck you.

Well, you're kind of a sore loser, aren't you, shithead?

Theres an incredible dignity to something like this.

There is?

Two military commanders facing each other...

across a gulf of human passion.

Its like General Lee...

and General Grant meeting after the Civil War.

And Lincoln would have been waiting for Grant...

to report back to him.

Wouldn't Lincoln have been dead by the time Lee and Grant met?

Whatever.

Theres something compelling, something eloquent about those two.

Blow it out your ass, you prick.

Fuck you, asshole. Go find your mama.

Intake, intake. C-Set 4. It better be recording this.

- Where's it coming from? - The Alamo, Trisha Lee.

"The Alamo. They've blown up the Alamo."

"There are crowds of people all around..."

"It's like a celebration!"

Do you speak English? You speak English?

I don't understand you.

Alamo gone.

No need to speak English no more.

They trashed the Alamo.

Davy Crockett, he whipped the Mexicans there.

What kind of book you been getting your information from, son?

Davie Crockett wasn't on the winning team.

Davie Crockett was a hero.

The only reason Davie Crocketts a hero...

is because Disney figured out how to make a buck off those hats.

Federal troops moving toward Idaho!

Governor?

Governor?

You spent the night here last night?

Yeah.

I was thinking of that beautiful piece of land...

I wanted to buy, out by the lake...

the one with its own boat dock. Is that still available?

Governor, I don't know, we got an escalation problem on our hands.

I should've bought it.

I'd love to go out there for a few days with Christina, just...

Governor, the Feds have stopped their troops...

less than a mile from our border, now, we got to get to the media...

and see some moral high ground on this one.

I'm getting damn tired of all this moral high ground.

I prefer rolling around in the mudd...

you meet more interesting people there.

- It's the media, you got... - I'm sick of the goddamn media.

That's how we got in this mess in the first place.

Now, if Moses...

had public opinion polls and TV cameras to contend with...

he never would've lead his people out of Egypt.

Look, Governor, we got no choice.

Now, all the troops in the world ain't worth a squirrels dick...

unless we got those media whores kissing our ass!

That's the problem.

People are terrified of being called racist...

for tryin to preserve their own culture.

Yeah? Hold on.

They want to know what you want for breakfast.

- The usual. - Fajitas.

And Matthew, Helena, these units from the 173rd Airborne...

suddenly began taking up positions here...

shortly after the news of the Alamo came through.

"I'm talking to you from just inside Utah...

very close to the border with Idaho."

"And just over here to my right...

is the encampment of Pakistani orphans where...

according to our information...

bus loads more are expected to arrive today."

General, I know you don't trust the media.

I'm with you a 100 percent on that, absolutely, but I think...

you're missing the opportunity here...

to counter attack what's being said about you...

by these militia nut jobs...

and these opportunistic politicians and...

Well, Mr. Franco, you and the rest of your ilk...

are a carbuncle on the ass of the military.

Carbuncle.

I'll try to put a good spin on that word, General...

because I'm sure you mean it as some kind of compliment, right?

I ordered the media out of this sector...

- and that includes you! - But what about all...

that great press I gave you during the Persian Gulf thing...

- doesn't that count? Okay. - Get out of here!

It's too bad, though, I was going to give you this present.

I guess I can give it to somebody else, it's a tape of...

you in that Panama whorehouse a couple years ago.

If you don't mind my saying so, General.

You didn't have any carbuncles on your ass that night.

Are there any more copies of that tape?

"Protests supporting both sides of the Idaho conflict...

are increasing all over the country...

in the wake of the bombing of the Alamo."

"As government officials fear more serious outbreaks of violence...

there is trouble from an unexpected source on the Idaho Utah border."

"Blaine Gorman has more."

"Matthew, Helena, the Sioux Indians on this reservation...

have issued a statement saying that this conflict is and I quote...

"Part of the white mans war that we will not be drawn into."

"And in fact, they too, like Governor Farley...

are closing the borders to their big reservations."

"The Indians are receiving support...

from dozens of other fans all across America..."

It's getting to be a tad ridiculous.

Mr. President, I mean, a bunch of Indians on the war path.

If I may be so blunt, who gives a shit?

We do.

That reservation is right smack...

between our troops and the Idaho border.

The Sioux, aren't they the ones who wiped out General Custer?

Yes, Sir. Not far from there.

Well, I'm not going to have another General Custer on my hands.

I intend to take the appropriate action...

to ensure this does not happen.

Can't we just let them have another casino or something?

"This is News Net."

"Good evening. I'm Matthew Langford."

"And I'm Helena Newman."

"There are now less than forty-one hours left...

in the countdown to the Idaho crisis."

"And the White House has announced the granting of...

gambling licenses to the Lacoda Sioux Indian tribe...

for a casino next to the little big horn...

where General Custer was killed when he lead his troops..."

There's nothing sacred.

Next they'll be paving Gettysburg, or worse, Disneyland...

Jim? Jim Kalla, I need you in Washington!

"More than anything else, what the Idaho crisis has done...

is to highlight all the fractions all the divisions in America."

"And no where are they closer to the surface...

than in the House of Representatives in Washington."

Time out here!

If you got a problem with something...

"It's become kind of...

a political bazaar built on the ruins of the melting pot."

Hey, translator! Come on over here.

What the hell's he saying?

We don't, we're aware of the deals that the other groups...

the nation has come against us Chinese.

Hey, man, this is Washington!

This is what we do here, make deals! You understand?

"The situation here changes hourly."

"What this crisis comes down to is wheeling and dealing."

"Most of it orchestrated by the White House and Kenya Nkomo...

the leader of the nation of Islam caucus...

before being elected to congress...

he made his name on the streets of Los Angeles...

as one of its most feared gang leaders."

"Every party's demanding concessions...

in exchange for their supporting the President."

"If he needs to use force against Idaho."

"Now, I'm standing here next to Congressmen Singh of Alabama."

"Congressman Singh."

"What concessions did you get from the White House?"

"A great deal for my people."

"I told Mr. Buchan, from the White House...

you all want our support against Idaho, fine."

"But you all have to give us three thousand acres in Alabama...

and the money to build our temples."

"And he said, "No problem." So, no problem!"

"No problem. Jim Kalla, News Net."

Can't make an omelet without busting some sacred eggs.

We're making history here.

And you ain't us, aren't you?

- No, I'm not. - You should be.

Why not?

Maybe because I'm a reporter, I ain't with anybody.

Maybe because too many sacred eggs are getting busted.

See, I road the buses back in the sixties...

to bring people together, pretty unfashionable now, isn't it?

Your wife, she's Jewish, ain't she?

You know, I've forgotten what she is.

All I remember is that we met on the back of a bus.

Hey! Is the Governor in the car?

Well, has anybody seen him?

I'll be dipped in dog shit.

Where the hell are you?

Son of a bitch.

Governor? Governor?

Jesus Christ, Governor, scooch over.

Jesus, I've been looking all over hell for you...

She always parks right over there.

You see that empty parking space, that's her.

Governor, we've got crisis after crisis going on in there...

You want to know about crisis, Jimmy?

She won't even look at me now.

Jesus.

There she is!

Governor!

I knew she'd come back.

What the hell is she doing?

Christina, are you all right?

Christina? Are you all right?

No. Not really.

What we're you doing behind that tree?

I was barfing. I have to go.

What's going on?

She's pregnant. I'm going to be a father.

And if it's a boy...

we're going to call it Juan Pablo Farley.

I got you hooked up again. It was a faulty switch.

Hey, I owe you one.

No, you don't. How's Arla doing?

She has good days and bad days.

- What did the doctor say? - Nothing I want to hear.

- Say hello for me. - I will.

I came across another great line.

"The best lack all conviction while the worst...

are full of passionate intensity."

That is a good line.

The poets, nobody pays enough attention to the poets anymore.

Good night, Godfrey.

Hey, what the hell's going on?

They're movin them out.

Man. Jesus Christ.

Come on, enough is enough.

You know what? I had it with you.

All you do is use the wide angle lens...

so it looks like there's less orphans than there really is.

Lady, I don't have an orphan lens, okay?

- I use a normal everyday lens... - Yeah.

if we we're the "Save the Children" fund...

you wouldn't use a wide angle lens, you would use a telephoto lens.

- You're a big expert, right? - Yes, I am.

- Thank you. - The hell are you talking about?

I'm talking about media, asshole. Well, fuck reality, this is image!

Fuck the media, these kids shouldn't camp near the border!

You know what, if these kids we're not near the border...

you wouldn't have your story.

It is my constitutional right to do as I see fit.

Alright, you know what? You are a fascist.

Do you know that?

- How do yo feel about that? Yeah. - I'm a fascist?

That's what you call everybody...

Yeah, Blaine?

I want you to get that idiot a message.

You tell him that you never get in the middle of a story.

- "He's fired, as of now!" - Burgess is going crazy.

He says you're fired again.

Really? Fuck it. I'm done. I'm out!

Vinnie, will you do us all a favor and just shut up?

That's all we ever do around here, Blaine, is shut up.

Well, don't be an idiot, we're in the news business.

We're a wall of noise, Blaine! Wake the fuck up.

You know what, I quit. I'm done!

I'm going back to New York, I'm going to tie one on.

I'm going to finish that novel...

I started a couple years back, because you know what?

It's just about a big enough piece a shit to become a best seller!

And then I'm going to take the money, move down to the Bahamas...

the only time I'll see you fucking guys...

is when I'm channel surfing. I fucking quit. I've had it.

Fuck you, fuck him, everybody!

that's too bad, Vinnie, we could've used you.

I hear Mel's thinking of bringing in one of those...

young CNN producers, anyway.

- What? - Well, that's what I heard.

Really?

Fuck.

Come on, we got a lot of work to do. Let's go!

It is our understanding...

that General Buford has been ordered to march the orphans...

to the border and formerly demand that...

Governor Jim Farley allow them passage into Idaho.

Clearly, Governor Farley is going to be the man of the hour.

Governor?

Governor You really want to get down off that damn ledge there.

You don't want to be slipping or nothing.

I'm terrified of heights myself.

Shit.

Look at that commotion down there. News crews.

National Guard, crowds.

Yeah, I just realized something, I created that,

Well, you sure as hell did, Governor.

Now, why don't you just come down there off the edge...

- you know you could slip... - I love the edge.

That's where life is.

I know that about you, Governor. That's for sure.

And nothing ever happens in the middle, the edge.

That's where it all happens.

- You still fuck your wife? - What?

Yeah, after a few years.

It fades. The mating urge, I mean.

I haven't slept with Eleanor for three years.

We're all just animals, you know that, don't you?

Yeah, I know that Governor, but the White House...

- has Federal troops coming in... - Scratching for our...

little piece of turf.

Mating like animals for a few years...

all in the name of that thing they call romance and then it fades.

The males have to go looking somewhere else...

- to plant their seed. - Jesus.

Juan Pablo Farley!

John Paul in Spanish, named after the last Pope.

Governor, I don't think we want to get into that right now.

I mean, we got our National Guard...

keeping out about a million Juan Pablos right now.

Well, hell yes! That's because there is a million of them...

but one single Juan Pablo, one cute little kid.

One future leader that'll take our nation to greatness...

you're telling me we keep him out? My son?

No way!

- Jack? - Yes, Sir?

Who allowed the media in here?

Well, its better to have them on the inside of the tent pissing out...

than outside the tent pissing in.

All right, let's start at the beginning.

How the hell do we stop this thing? It's already gone too far.

We can order General Buford to withdraw his troops.

That's weakness.

Well, then we can wait for the deadline and attack.

- Madness. - Well, its one thing or the other.

I know which one I would choose.

Mr. President, the public hates weakness.

It shows up in all the polls.

Well, we've got another problem...

and you're not going to want to hear it.

When we set these deadlines...

we we're presuming that it wouldn't go this far.

If the shit hits the fan...

it's going to wind up spilling over into "All My Children."

For Christ sake!

Mel, I'm trying to find Vinnie.

He took the minicam and said he smelled a better story.

I got to go, they're movin out now.

Mel, you dimwitted schmuck, its me. Your favorite person in the world.

Vinnie! How are you doing, Vinnie?

Where are you? Palm Beach? Basking at Malibu?

I'm on the Idaho side of the border.

I'm about to send back the most important shots of the whole crisis.

"You know something, Vinnie...

I don't even know why I'm talking to you."

If I'm not mistaken, you we're fired.

Really? That's great. Because now that I'm a freelancer...

that means you have to pay me a whole lot of money for these shots.

Or hire me back with a raise.

Vinnie, there is zero probability of that.

Yeah? Take a look at this, my friend.

It's a cowboy boot.

What does that have to do with anything?

The gonzo has lost his mind.

Wait. Vinnie, it's Jim.

Move in on the shoulder patches.

"Excuse me, would you mind turning around?"

"Jim, you're on the verge of breaking the code, I can tell."

Since when have you ever seen cowboy boots on a guardsman...

except in that peace we had last year...

about that group that is in Montana?

Montana? What does that have to do with anything?

Look at the shoulder patches, Montana National Guard.

"Told you, now look here. Hey guys, how are things in Fargo?"

We're from Bismarck.

North Dakota.

Jesus Christ, if the Governors from the other states...

are sending in their National Guards...

"News Net has just learned that...

America is on the brink of a Civil War."

"It is no longer just Idaho against the Federal Government."

"Our Producer, Vince Franco...

has just sent these images of troops from Montana, North Dakota...

and possibly other states that are prepared to fight."

"Sometimes the choice between war and peace...

between survival and destruction...

can hang on a gesture, a word, and a reflection."

"After any major crisis, we could always look back...

and find out that one moment that'd change it all."

"That instant when a line is drawn in the sand...

and there's no turning back."

Well, you're actions are unconstitutional and illegal...

I'm ordering you to remove this road block.

You posing for the cameras again, Chuck?

My orders come from the President.

What I got to do is ensure...

that these children are admitted into the state of Idaho.

Well, I have orders from the Governor of Idaho...

to see that that does not happen.

Well, you know there won't be no second chance, don't you?

Wrong again. Chuck.

This is your second chance to be first, into Kuwait.

How dare you?

Turn the little rag heads around.

By the way, you still owe me a case of whiskey...

from that card game in Sarajevo, you cheap son of a bitch.

What's going on?

Retreating is not an option! Fuck this fascist shit!

No!

Twenty hours to go, people.

Eleven states supporting Farley, and counting.

Mel, the difference is, is that this one here...

it has these three little exclamation marks.

There are no exclamation marks.

Well, I could just sort of have them fade off then...

- just right after this thing... - The country is falling apart...

we don't need exclamation marks, okay?

Mel, I got an even better idea.

A telethon like Jerry Lewis thing only with orphans and all that stuff?

- Is this a work in progress? - Mel, just think for one second...

its your own rule, "The Three Ts of Great News...

tits, tots and tears."

Christ, we got two "T"s right off the bat.

Then we get Helena to dress up one of those pushup things...

- It's a classic idea, Matthew. - Then we got the three "T"s!

- Twenty hours left, Mel. - Okay.

What's with Christina?

Nobody's going home tonight, we're ordering in.

I could swear she's having an affair with Farley.

God, I hope so, we can get some milage out of it.

Don't be ridiculous...

this is a news outfit not a gossip column.

Don't get pious with me, Alan.

We're talking about what makes people tick...

If Christina is fucking the Governor of Idaho...

it is nobody's business but Christina's!

What, Alan, what'd you say?

Christina is what?

Christina is fucking the Governor of Idaho?

I know where you're going with this thing, Mel.

- I don't believe this! - Mel, you're not going to turn...

that raving lunatic into a human interest story!

- It's Christina. - Jesus Christ.

Hello, Christina?

Yeah, no, you look a little pale, something new? What's the matter?

No, Christina. I don't need you on the Mexican border.

I need you where you are in Idaho.

And by the way, I, I can't commend you enough...

on the job you're doing with the Governor.

Who are these guys, they were'nt here an hour ago.

I got a battalion of Chinese out here.

Hundreds of them.

What Chinese?

If that's Vinnie, I don't care if he's got the ghost of Chairman Mao...

no overtime.

Have a nice day, Sandy.

Excuse me, who are you? Where you from?

Rhode Island.

"The Colonel says to tell you...

that we are the Rhode Island National Guard."

"That we are American Citizens...

who will do our duty in this conflict..."

Yeah?

Sir? Sir?

The Governor of Rhode Islands on News Net.

- What? - The Governor of Rhode Islands...

on News Net.

"Our actions in support of Governor Farley have been taken...

because of boat loads and planes of refugees from Mainland China...

who continue to descend on Rhode Island...

it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope and to govern."

"We therefore are supporting the position taken by Idaho...

in closing its borders...

and declaring that we too have the right to close our borders...

as we see fit..."

- You know what they say, Jim? - No, what do they say, sir?

Character is destiny. We all have our destinys.

And I have mine.

How soon are we going to be on the plane?

Because we got to get there by tonight, okay?

- God. - Christina.

What are you doing here?

- I need to talk to you. - There is nothing to talk about.

- Yes, there is. - What?

I want to know what it would take to make you change your mind.

- You couldn't begin... - Try me.

Anything. Just name it.

I want the man I fell in love with.

Terrific, I do just as you advise.

Dot every ethnic "I" and cross every racial "T"...

and what do we get, the goddamn Chinese...

our goddamn Chinese, for Christ sake.

Side with that prick Farley and his red necks?

Is this what it's all about?

Sitting at the bottom of the goddamn melting pot...

when it's all boiled away and there's nothing left but lumps!

Well, you can always renege on that deal with Kenya Nkomo...

and that nation of Islam group.

How many Electoral College votes do they control?

Sixty, seventy on a good day.

- How about the Koreans? - Well, twenty-six?

There's your answer.

Well, no, not necessarily.

We could let in a million more Koreans.

Jack up the Electoral Votes to eighty and bingo...

you've got them eating chop suey right out of your hand.

- Mr. President? - What?

They've blown up the Statue of Liberty.

"At the height of the Reagan era, it was this...

a gala event that thrilled American...

when the refurbished Statue of Liberty was unveiled."

"And tonight, it is this."

"A shattered mass of steal and dreams."

"A group calling itself...

Patriots for Farley has claimed responsibility...

in a message phoned into News Net that reads...

We will no longer take in the huddled masses of the world..."

I need to know that I can trust you.

"Security around Americas most revered historic sights...

such as the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia...

has been heightened in the wage of the destruction of the Alamo..."

All right, turn that thing off. Everybody get back in their tents.

I don't think so, Major.

I don't think I heard you right.

"You heard me, Major. My sister lives in Idaho."

"I didn't get into this army to fight other Americans."

"Especially for this bullshit."

- "At ease, Sergeant." - "Fuck you, Sir!"

"No cameras! I said, no cameras!"

"Put it down, asshole!"

"He shot the Major! My God!"

"My God, they have shot the officer, killed the officer in charge."

- "They're shooting at others." - "Hey, get that camera!"

They killed them. They killed their own officer.

So, what do you expect, you can only push people so far.

What the fuck are you talk...

What, are you trying to justify murder here?

No. You know, fuck you, Manieski!

Push me, you motherfucker.

Mutiny?

But this is the army. The U.S. Army.

Shit.

You all obey orders now, you hear me?

Goddamn!

I think we should get out of here.

Not yet.

- Now? - Yeah.

What are you getting unravelled for now?

We're inside, not outside.

Mel, you just don't get it, do you?

Its all outside, now. Just get used to it.

There's desertions all over the place.

Well, tell Buford to get some movement...

anything to pull it all together.

Move some armored brigades out.

- We can't. - What do you mean, "We can't?"

Most of the tanks need spare parts for the turbine compressors.

So, what am I, a repair shop foreman?

Get the goddamn parts, fix them!

- We can't. - What are you telling me?

Hold on a minute.

Mr. President.

After the free-trade talks you signed with Taiwan...

we stopped making spare parts because they could make them cheaper.

And then you got into that argument, that dialogue with them...

and they stopped shipping us any military parts.

Let's look on the bright side, shall we?

I mean, after all the glass is really half full.

I mean, about those seventy Electoral College votes.

See, we don't really need the nation of Islam...

the Chinese, the Koreans, or hell, anybody.

What we do is take the Irish off birth control...

they will breed like rabbits. I know, they're my people.

They fuck like drunking minks...

we'll be up to eighty votes in no time at all, by God...

Line them up!

"And we're being ordered out of the area now."

"Military's ordered us away."

"They're setting up a firing squad right over here...

this is not happened before."

"They're going to execute three..."

- Hey, turn that camera off! - Hey, what are you doing?

Get the hell out of here!

What, you're not really going to shoot these guys, are you?

Who is this guy? Get this guy out of here!

Are you going to shoot these guys?

What, now you're going to shoot me?

You're not going to shoot me. You can't shoot me...

"we're on national television here, okay?"

"Come on, let these guys go..."

Get out of here!

"Go ahead! Kill your own! Kill America!"

"There's nothing left of it anyway!"

"Just a bunch a politicians and executives...

who hire people in places we don't live!"

"Are you going to kill for that?"

Squad ready!

Go ahead you bastards!

Aim.

"Fire!"

They shot them. Shit! What is this?

"Please, we're on the air."

"In other news...

- related to this..." - "Fuck this..."

- We're killing our own people! - Helena, we're on the air!

In other news, the White House has said...

that they will be making a statement...

Fuck you, Matthew, there is no other news!

About this, particular situation...

Get her off.

Our News Net correspondents are there.

We will bring you this when we hear it.

"And we have, I believe now, four correspondents..."

at the White House, as soon as...

- There is no other news! - As soon as we are able...

Shut up! Shut up, you little wanker! Shut up!

Don't you get it? There is no other news!

Shut up!

- This has to be your decision. - It was made a long time ago.

I just don't want you to feel like you have to...

Jimmy, I'm going to want to make a statement...

to the press in the morning, about an hour before the deadline.

Mr. Buchan.

I have some information that you might want to know about.

Mr. President.

Secession!

He's going to announce one hour before the deadline...

that Idaho's going to secede...

and start a whole new country like the South did in the Civil War?

Well, that's what this News Net guy said, yeah.

How the hell does he know?

Well, I'm not supposed to know this...

but it seems that one of their reporters is...

shacking up with Farley.

That son of a bitch. He's waging a public relations war!

You're damn right.

And if I know anything...

I know P.R. and that is what runs this country!

- Now, if Eisenhower we're... - Forget Eisenhower.

Yeah, but don't forget, you're on the line for those orphans.

Screw the orphans.

We went out on a limb for them, what did they get us in return?

Every damn ethnic group in the country crying the blues.

This isn't a time for Eisenhower. It's a time for Lincoln.

Lincoln took the bull by the horns...

when the South tried to secede gentlemen.

If Lincoln was here...

you think he'd let a bunch of orphans decide everything?

I've said it all along, action.

Jesus Christ, what now?

What the hell, nobody lives forever.

Let's get a story!

This one's for the Duke.

"This is Blaine Gorman reporting from just inside the Idaho border."

"The Federal troops have attacked!"

"There is war. The Second Civil War has just broken out...

two hours before the deadline."

"All around me are..."

"Blaine!"

"It's too late, Eddie. Come on."

I'm trying to remember the words to the pledge of allegiance.

I said it a million times when I was a kid.

Right now...

I can't seem to remember the words.

Jack?

What in God's name is this?

- Action. Not a reaction. - Why? Farley was going to quit!

What are you talking about?

You told me yourself and we had to take action...

before Farley made his secession speech.

I said succession, not secession.

He was going to step down.

He was going to announce...

that he was going to hold a convention...

to choose someone to succeed him, for Christ sake!

What are you yelling for?

He's going to marry Christina Fernandez...

and raise Mexican babies.

Well, the President's in his Lincoln mode right now...

and I think this would just confuse the shit out of him.

So, I think we had just better play this one out?

Alan, why isn't our logo on that shot, please?

I promised my wife. I'd be home to make breakfast.

"I read years ago that someone once said...

Those whom the gods destroy, they first make mad."

"Or maybe its just that we're an unfinished piece of art...

part tragedy, part comedy, part joy, part farce, a work in progress."

"But, for the moment...

we're still painting and writing in blood."

"And it always seems to come out of a lot of suffering."

"And someday, after it all dries, it will be magnificent."

"But until then, like all art, its messy as hell."

"Border has been restored throughout the country...

and within the secession of the military activities now a week old...

the former president appealed for calm."

"And in other news, the delayed broadcast...

last night of Susan Luci's final episode of "All My Children"...

in which Erica finally runs off with Antonio...

become the most watched television program in history..."

outdoing even the final episode of...