Original subtitles

(Peggy) Okey-dokey.

Now, we'll be with dale and nanc y at chef ling's.

I don't know the numbe r

but if there's any problem, just penetrate the gribbles' perimeter.

The alarm company will page them.

I don't need a baby-sitter.

Bobby, luanne is not here to baby-sit.

She is here because she misses you

and she wants to spend time with you.

No, no, no, I...

[doorbell rings]

You'll get the other half when we get back.

(hank) My turn.

[Door clicking]

Uh, change of plans.

The reservations fell through.

We're gonna eat in the alley tonight.

The bowling alley!

What? Oh, no. I don't think...

I am not much of a bowler.

This shirt would beg to differ.

Look at yours, hank.

"Flamer" for the propane man.

[Chuckling]

I guess I could have gone with "propane man."

No. No. Flamer is cooler.

Look at yours, sug'. It says, "spare peg."

I started with "square peg" and then I gave it a twist.

And then Nancy said "spare" was a bowling term.

So it works on both levels.

All right. This was very thoughtful,

but, really, I'm not much of a bowler.

Maybe we could, uh, wear them to the movies, or...

come on, Peggy.

The gribbles are gonna think you don't like 'em.

He's right, Peggy.

What do you have against my wife?

(hank) Men's 12.

Gent's 12.

Men's 9, 42 European.

Ladies' 5, sug'.

Gent's 9, gal size 5.

[Pins clattering]

(man) Uh, ma'am?

Hmm?

The man needs to know your shoe size.

I'm sure he does. And I will tell it to him.

Why don't you go pick your shoes up,

and I will be with you shortly.

[Hissing]

Shoe size, ma'am.

Look, I am willing to pay your shoe-rental fee.

But I would like to bowl in my own shoes, please.

I'm sorry, but those aren't bowling shoes.

I can't let you on the lanes.

Come on, Peggy. We're puttin' our nicknames up on the screen.

It's a lot of fun.

. I am a size 16

oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said size 16.

I did.

Oh, my god!

No one's ever asked for those before.

. Just give me a few minutes

all right, hank, I'm just gonna go check on bobby.

[Slams]

But, mommy, I want my Mary janes.

Oh, Peggy, it's not my fault your feet are growing and you're not.

I found something that can fit her.

[Gasping]

Nurse's shoes?

[Young Peggy sobbing]

Hey, watch your feet.

[Gasps]

I'm looking for something in a woman's size 16 bowling shoe

that says "8" on the back.

[Chuckling]

No, I think you're looking for a size 16-and-a-half

that says "8" on the back.

16 and a half? No.

No, no. I have been a size 16 since I was just a little girl.

Oh, it's actually quite common

for a woman's feet to keep growing as she gets older.

They're getting bigger? Oh, god!

Yeah. At this rate I'd say you've got a shot at the big 2-o.

[Gasping]

[Crying]

Hello? Hello? It's ok.

It really is.

. Oh, please! Spare me your psychobabble

[continues crying]

I know exactly how you feel.

[Whirring]

Honey, there's a man you should talk to.

He can make you feel good about your feet.

I don't hide mine anymore.

Huh?

(Peggy) Grant trimble?

(trimble) Again.

One more time.

Have you ever had back problems?

No.

Of course not. I'll bet you're a gifted athlete.

Well, I am one of the best softball pitchers in the tri-towns.

That's because you have really, really amazing feet.

They're long enoug h to give you a perfect stride

and wide enough to root you firmly on the ground.

I don't even have to ask if you're a professional success.

At tom Landry middle school.

I would have been surprise d if you'd said otherwise.

Wait. Are you saying that I owe my success

to the fact that my feet are so big?

. Some might see them as big.

I see them as vibrant and alive.

[Chuckles]

They're also very hot.

Well, no one has ever told me that before,

about my feet.

I have heard that before about my eyes and my teeth.

Peggy, how would you like to help others in your situation?

We're making a small inspirational film.

It's for all those people out there who have foot issues.

We need to take them to a place

where they can feel better about themselves.

Would you...

could you appear in it?

Mr. Trimble, I've... I've never let my feet be photographed before. I...

please, Peggy.

You have an exceptional gift.

Wouldn't it be wrong of you not to share it with the world?

I can see how it might be. Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Wonderful work, Peggy. Thank you.

Now go over there and walk in some mud.

It's spa-grade, I assure you.

[Sizzling]

[Car door shuts]

Guess what I did today.

Worked up an appetite for steak, I hope.

Yep. I starred in a short film.

. Hold on. Let me just...

ok. So, tell me about it.

Well, I was discovered in a parking lot, just like Lana turner.

And now I'm gonna star in an educational video,

which Lana turner was never asked to do.

. That's great. I'll get to see my wife in a movie

actually, it's not really me in the film.

I-it's mainly my feet.

Well, everyone has to start somewhere. What's it about?

It is an empowerment video for people in the foot community.

(Peggy) Oh, the director, who is a genius,

filmed me getting a foot massage

and soaking my feet in butter,

stimulating my soles with a ping pong paddle.

Hank, he may even distribute it on the internet.

(hank) The internet?

Well, tell me, does a big movie star like you

still like her steaks medium-rare?

[Hank humming]

[Scraping]

[Clearing throat]

Hank, I got somethin' you should take a look at.

And you might wanna bring a valid credit card with ya.

[Bill chuckles]

All right, what's so funny?

If it's that tweety bird made of x's, I've already seen it.

Hank, welcome to peggysfeet. Com.

(hank) Wait a minute.

Is that a pornographic web site?

I-it's not a pornographic web site.

It's a fetish web site.

And those are peggy's feet.

Well, those aren't... now...

(male announcer) You've got feet.

(Peggy) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

What the heck is that?

Ping pong paddle.

[Chuckling] Peggy's been a bad, bad girl.

(Peggy) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my god!

(Peggy) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Dang it, dale, turn that thing off!

Just testin' my new sound card.

I tell you what, man. It all... all startin' to make sense, man,

how you can afford that old shop vac, man.

[Sighing] For god's sakes, boomhauer!

You've known Peggy longer than I have.

She respects herself and hates her feet too much

to ever show up on somethin' like this.

Shh, here comes the fondue.

(hank) No, it doesn't.

[Exclaims]

(Peggy) And so, I have finally taken my own advice

to combine my love of education

with my interest in edutainment.

But why are they only makin' videos of your feet?

. Very good question

you may not have noticed because I wear bold eyeglasses

to draw the attention to my head.

But your mother ha s exceptionally long and handsome feet.

[Bubbling]

Oh.

And up until now I had been tricked by the media

into thinking that they were unattractive.

Who? Who in the media tricked you?

Bobby, I don't know their names.

It's more of a conspiracy.

Well, hey, there's my movie star.

[Laughs]

Uh, bobby, can you go watch tv?

Can I!

So, uh, Peggy, if I wanted to shake the hand

of the directo r of this, uh...

uh, where would I go to wait for him, uh, to shake his hand?

Director, writer, cameraman, grant trimble does it all.

He has his own motion picture warehouse out by the truck scales.

. I'll be right back

[brakes squealing]

[Car door shuts]

[Dog barking]

Are you the tickler?

Uh, no.

Hello? Hello? Anyone there?

Hello? Trimble?

Trimble!

(trimble) This is a closed set.

[Snapping]

Trimble, I want you to stay away from my wife.

Oh, and who's your wife?

(hank) Mrs. Peggy hill.

Then you're a very lucky man.

But I'm afraid we're gonna have to share.

You, sir, are nothing but a low-rent smut hound

and you're gonna delete my wife's feet from your internet

before she finds out what you've done with them.

What I've done with them?

I've made them stars.

You made them wade through pork and beans!

This isn't about individual artistic decisions.

It's about somethin' bigger than you, or me, or any of us.

. It's about a world wired together

a future where, at the click of a mouse,

a dream can start in arlen

and end on a computer in Johannesburg.

The generations joined, united

under the banner of a single ideal:

Women's big, beautiful feet.

It's about an end to strif e and misunderstanding.

One world, one dream, one peace.

[Sighing] You leave me with no choice.

I'm gonna have to kick your ass.

Hold on. Let me turn on the camera.

[Sighing]

[Crickets chirping]

[Door creaking]

Uh-oh, I'm sorry. Uh-uh, hank.

No more painting my toenails alone in the dark.

I don't care who sees!

[Sighing]

Uh, Peggy, there's somethin' I wanna show you on your computer.

This is an internet site called peggysfeet. Com.

Well, I think that is wonderful.

Now women who are too embarrassed to even go to the doctor

can be inspired by my feet in the privacy of their own homes.

Peggy, your feet are stepping on raw hamburger.

Umm-hmm. Yes. Mr. Trimble says that

that is a common European beauty treatment.

[Sighing] Here's some honey being poured all over 'em.

It... it tones the pores.

Yeah, and now a bunch of flies get stuck to 'em.

Ok. Now, that was a mistake.

Uh, here's where you can buy the flies.

They're selling the flies?

Well, I'm... I'm sure the money goes to

important foot-related charities.

Uh, your socks are for sale, too.

. Peggy, they're foot-fetish videos

oh, my god.

Don't feel too bad.

Bill says a lot of college girls

get caught up in the dirty internet world.

I'll give you some time.

[Birds chirping]

[Peggy clears throat] Grant?

Oh, Peggy, what a terrific surprise!

I hope you brought your swim trunks.

I am not here to swim, trimble.

I know what you're up to.

I have it on good authority, my own,

that you have been exploiting my feet for unseemly purposes.

You have a computer.

. Yes. I also have a moral compas s that always points to good

all right, Peggy. I understand you're a little annoyed.

We were shooting for the women's-empowerment market.

But as it turns out, women were not as interested as we'd hoped.

We did, however, find an audience.

And it was men.

Oh.

I was ready to pull the plug on peggysfeet. Com.

But then I realized something.

Yes?

Have you ever seen a pair of big, beautiful feet like yours

in play boy magazine, Peggy?

No, not on the cover.

And I certainly wouldn't open it

because I do not read pornography.

Let's use a gap ad. Have you ever seen them in a gap ad? Ever?

No. That's right. You haven't.

But what if someone, alone at first,

was out there appreciating big, beautiful feet?

I mean, loving them, the way they deserve.

Pretty soon you'd see them in music videos.

Then Hollywood movies.

And before too long,

on 60-foot billboards across america, pushing Parker pens.

So, really, what you're saying is,

I will be helping create a better world for men and women?

I'd be like Rosa parks.

This web site is your bus, Peggy.

Ride it to freedom.

But you said the movies were just for women.

Well, honey, ultimately they are.

But first we must reach the men.

All right. How can I put this so you'll understand?

Hmm.

Bobby, some men like ladies' bottoms.

And other men like ladies' bosoms.

And a small, small number,

too few, love ladies' big feet.

Now, mommy is trying to increase that number

and thus help women everywhere.

How does this help the women with the big boobies?

They don't need any more help.

Hank, I am going to my book club.

We are reading the hunt for red October

which, luckily, I read 12 years ago.

That's why you haven't seen me reading it recently. Ok?

I will be at Becky bankey's house.

She does not have a phone, or a cell phone, or a telegraph.

[Door closes]

Ok, then.

(trimble) Beautiful, beautiful.

Oh, yeah. Cut.

Now let's rinse you off and move on to some more eggs.

More eggs? But we've done so many eggs.

How about if my feet are on a silken cushion?

I see you have one.

That could be good. But wait.

H-how about if your feet are next to a rotting jack-o'-lantern?

You know, sort of a beauty and the beast thing.

Well, I've always thought I should play beauty.

. And you will. Inner beauty

inner beauty.

Good morning, grant. I brought coffee.

[Exclaims] Still hot.

? That'll burn your feet. are you ready for that

what? No. That's for you, to drink.

I did have an idea, though, which is why I brought the flowers.

Uh-huh?

? How about surrounding my beautiful feet with beautiful flowers.

I figured we did beauty and the beast.

How about "beauty finally meets her match"?

Uh, flowers smell good. That's not gonna work.

What's wrong with smelling good?

People like feet that smell good.

Tell you what.

We'll compromise with a tub of corned beef hash.

No, grant. That's just more food.

I brought these flower s from my own yard. They're so pretty...

look, I've been around this business

for long enough to know what works.

No one wants pretty.

They want spinach, eggs, and corned beef hash.

For some reason, they don't like them together. Go figure.

Well, of course they want pretty.

They want my feet.

You... you said so yourself.

[Clicking] All right. You're a smart woman.

All the girls figure it out eventually. That's when I start payin'.

What? Huh?

It's $200 for a 5-minute smush video.

We shoot 10 a day. I'm gonna need your social.

I bet you never thought those big, ugly feet of yours

could buy you a fur coat.

? You think my feet are ugly

let's be honest, Peggy.

You know your feet are ugly.

That's what a certain type of very self-hating individual

will pay top dollar to see.

Now, let's fire up those stompers and make some dirty.

What?

[Peggy crying]

[Peggy crying]

(dale) Peggy's home.

[Sobbing]

Uh, hey, Peggy. Can I, uh, fix you a sandwich?

I [Continues sobbing

oh, hank, I went back to grant trimble's.

What?

I feel so stupid.

It turns out the only ones

who wanna look at my ugly feet are perverts.

And the perverts only like my feet

because they're so big and ugly.

[Sobbing]

That's what I've been trying to tell you. They're fetishists.

That means they obsess on one weird little thing.

[Sighing]

Look, I'll never love your feet as much as they do.

But the way I look at it,

well, you're like a fully loaded truck.

The big tires are part of the package.

You pay extra to get those really big tires.

[Sobbing]

Now, why are you crying?

You know how much I want a new truck.

[Continues crying]

I don't see any problems with your feet, mrs. Hill.

They're perfectly healthy.

Very good.

Now, what I would like is for you to smash them.

. With a hammer and then reset them until they're a size 5

[stammering] I'm sorry. We don't do that.

[Birds chirping]

[Toy plane buzzing]

[Children chattering]

Uh, mom, aren't you shootin' some foot movies tonight?

No, bobby, never again.

Artistic differences?

No.

Well... no.

All that stuff I told you about empowerment? It was all lies.

The whole time I was making smush videos.

And they only wanted me for my ugly feet.

That was mean of them.

You don't understand, bobby.

I actually let myself believe

that these were beautiful.

Can you imagine? Peggy hill, that stupid.

I can imagine, mom. I'm fat.

Oh, no. No, honey, you're husky.

It says so on your jeans.

Mom. I'm fat. But big deal.

I don't feel bad about it.

You never made me feel bad about it.

And just because there's some people in the world

who want me to feel bad about it, doesn't mean I have to.

[Scoffs] So bobby hill's fat.

He's also funny, he's nice.

He's got a lot of friends, a girlfriend.

And, if you don't mind,

I think I'll go outside right now and squirt her with water.

What are you gonna do?

(hank) Men's 12.

Men's 9.

Ladies' 5, sug'.

Gent's 12 and 9. Gal's size 5.

My name is Peggy hill

and I will take a size 16-and-a-half.

We don't need to know your name. We just need your shoes.

Fine. 16-and-a-half.

(man) You know, I think I saw her on a web site.

[Whooping]

(bobby) Who? Who in the media tricked you?