Original subtitles

BOBBY: Previously on King of the Hill.

Go!

You wanna jump or not?

You got my check. What do you care?

I know where the Arlen Hospital is.

Can you hold it in?

[Groaning]

Peggy, it's amazing. You've got to do it.

Uncle Hank, Didi's having the baby right now.

Wait.

[Screaming]

INSTRUCTOR: Pull the cord. Your emergency cord.

Hey!

[Peggy screaming]

[Theme music]

[Peggy screaming]

[Grave instrumental music]

Peggy?

[Hank exclaiming]

I think my wife... I think, might be dead.

I'll be right back.

[Luanne screams]

[Dramatic instrumental music]

[Hank grunting]

HANK: Peggy!

BOBBY: Dangit. Didi. Push!

It's okay, son. The baby's here.

- He's beautiful. - What's his name?

Here you go. To cut the umbilical cord.

[Softly] Oh.

My uncle.

Peggy?

[Peggy gasping]

[Gasps]

LUANNE: Aunt Peggy?

[Sobbing]

No!

[Gasps]

[Somber instrumental music]

Okay. Think one piece. Peggy?

[Weakly] Hey, hey, hey.

- God! You're all smashed up. - I'm alive.

Uncle Hank, we're too late.

- Would you like to hold your baby now? - I'm not the father.

Yes, I would.

PARAMEDIC 1: Okay. Move it.

Good, Keep her straight,

PARAMEDIC 2: Please, sir, don't touch her.

HANK: Oh, God.

TV ANNOUNCER: Aikman takes the snap, a quick pass over the middle to Smith...

the 20, the 10,

- Emmitt Smith scores! - Yes!

DOCTOR: Hank Hill? HANK: I wasn't watching.

Just for a second.

I have no idea what the score is. I couldn't tell you.

- Your wife is gonna be just fine. - Yes!

Peggy has a compression fracture of the bones in her back.

Thank goodness for the mud.

She would not have survived if she had fallen on concrete...

or a fence.

But she's okay?

Yes. They're putting her into a body cast to immobilize her while she heals.

- What color is the cast? - What does that matter, Mr. Hill?

I don't know. I've never been through this before.

I'm just trying to ask the right questions.

- It's white. Sponge bath. Bedpan. - Thank you.

[Peggy humming]

- Peggy? - Hank. Come on in.

Look at me. I'm in an ensemble.

My top cast and my bottom cast match.

[Both chuckle]

Yeah. Quality plaster.

[Sobbing hysterically]

PEGGY: I'm guessing that was Luanne.

I wish she wouldn't feel sorry for me when I feel so terrific for me.

I have had a near-death experience.

Most people never get that...

except when it's next to their death experience.

Then they can't appreciate it.

You know what's odd?

The last thing I remember was deciding not to jump.

What or who would have made me change my mind?

I'm not sure.

I don't know. I wasn't in the plane. I was on the ground, remember?

I'm the one who found you.

[Peggy murmurs thoughtfully]

I fell 8,000 feet and survived!

[Whooping]

- Bobby? - Dad.

Thank God! I need a dollar bad.

- Mom? - Bobby?

- You really fell out of a plane? - Yes, sir. I did.

Your mom is one of only 16 people...

who have survived parachutes not opening.

Now, 16 is my estimate. I'll double-check my numbers later.

I'm sorry about before. I don't know what came over me.

[Sobbing]

Oh, God!

What would make you jump out of a plane?

That's exactly what I can't figure out.

Don't try too hard, 'cause the doctor says...

that could hurt your bones somehow.

So, Bobby, how was your day?

My day?

Don't get me started!

My day was incredible.

I was Didi's birthing partner.

I cut the umbilical cord.

Didi! Where's Didi?

What did you do to your wife? I didn't teach you that.

[Door creaking open]

Where's my new dependent? I'm supposed to look at it.

Where did I put... There it is.

Uncle, I present you to your father.

Look at him. His shins are perfect.

[Cooing]

Look at you. You're a handsome little soldier.

You wanna kill a Nazi?

A Nazi, Nazi-scrazzi.

[Cooing]

COTTON: Didi, did you name this baby yet? DIDl: What's the use?

I'm calling him Hank. I always wanted a boy named Hank.

Dad, Hank is my name.

Not anymore. I'm taking it back. He's Hank.

You can't take away a grown man's name.

All right. I'll call him G.H. Good Hank.

COTTON: Did you see the way my boy looked at that nurse?

Practically slapped her rump then and there.

Yeah. Uncle Good Hank is really something special.

Dad, this isn't right.

You call him Good Hank it's gonna make it sound like I'm Bad Hank.

You burnt my burger, didn't you, B.H.?

[Thunder cracking]

[Ominous instrumental music]

Peggy, you've gotta do it. It's amazing.

It's the best dang feeling in the world.

No, don't tell her that. Why did you tell her that?

No. Of course it's safe. It's fail-safe.

I guarantee you, you'll love it.

I command you to jump.

If you love me, you'll jump.

Jump, jump, jump...

NURSE: There we go.

Okay. Now you try.

We'll see about all this.

Okay. Put this little nipper in here, tuck this little nipper in there.

Close up shop. There. Ready for soiling.

What the...

The kid is leaking out of his chest.

That's from his nipples. It's a form of lactation.

Dangit. You said it was a boy.

He is. He's simply been ingesting a lot of female hormones from his mother.

It's so common it has a name. Which is milk.

Lord! What did I do?

Was it the 50 men I killed?

PEGGY: The maternity ward ceiling.

It reminds me of when my son was born.

PEGGY: And I am also reminded of when my next child will be born.

- Why isn't the baby with his mother? - Didi Hill has postpartum depression.

She couldn't even gather up the strength to put on some lipstick.

And she looks awful.

That poor infant baby. Is there something I can do?

That's all right, ma'am.

You just try not to get addicted to that morphine.

You did this to my son. There's no milk coming out of these.

PEGGY: Cotton, stop it.

- You should be comforting her. - Comfort her? Comfort me.

Mr. Hill, your insurance company's automated voice says...

you have to leave the hospital today, in 85 minutes.

But I can't take care of a dripping witch-child.

Can't we just stay hospitaling until Didi gets her brains back?

[Laughing]

Maybe if you were the richest man in America.

More flowers, Mr. Hill? Don't unwrap them.

Why not? They told me downstairs they should be placed in water as soon...

You and your wife and those flowers are going home today.

Yeah. But Peggy's got a broken back.

I know. I told you that. But she wants to be discharged.

I'm not so worried about her back. I'm worried about her emotional state.

Yeah. But she seems so happy.

Once the thrill of surviving wears off...

and it does, trust me, Jetski, July '94...

she may experience a second crash when she feels her own limitations.

There won't be any second crash.

As long as I'm around, I won't let her feel any limitations.

There's no need for you to feel this guilty. You didn't make her jump.

Yeah.

Do you think you could put that on her chart?

- Peggy, I'm here. - Hey!

We're going home today.

I have packed myself up without any help from the nurses,

[Hank sighs]

- Are you sure you're ready? - Honey, ready or not, I have got to go.

I invited Cotton and Didi and the baby to stay with me...

until they can take care of him on their own.

You think you can help them take care of a baby?

If that poor farm boy, whose arms were ripped off by a thresher...

could dial 911 with his nose...

then I think Peggy Hill can take care of that baby.

Maybe I'll sign it on the stomach.

No, the leg. No, the stomach.

DALE: Just act natural.

Back off. Back off, everybody.

Everybody.

That's our fault, Peggy, not your fault.

Try the back door. It'll fit.

[Balloon pops]

Am I in a very wide bed?

Maybe we can get her in at an angle. Come on, guys.

All right. On three.

BOOMHAUER: If you lift on three, you mean one, two, dang ol' three and then go...

or do you kind of, like, lift her on three?

HANK: Just lift now, okay?

HANK: Now.

HANK: Tilt towards me. No. Toward...

HANK: Fine. Away from me.

[All grunting]

BILL: Hi, Peggy. PEGGY: Hello, Bill.

I think a "thank you" would be in order.

Dale, get the hell out of here.

[Peggy grunts]

Okay. Enough.

I'm better off in the living room. I can run the whole house from here.

Hub of the wheel, hub of the wheel.

Luanne, I think you got two people sitting in the same chair there.

LUANNE: But that's Aunt Peggy's place.

I can't just put someone there like she doesn't exist.

She's still alive, I think.

[Luanne sobbing]

[Hank sighs]

Yeah.

Maybe it might do us all some good if you got away for a while.

How would you like a few nights at the Motel Arlen? My treat.

- Highway Nine or Six? - Nine.

No, thank you.

- All right. Six. - Yes!

Cast make you look good for Peggy Hill.

Like you mummy, museum piece, but with attitude.

Mummy for the '90s.

Sug', you ain't helping.

People spend hundreds of dollars at a spa to get wrapped up like that.

Yes. It's very refreshing.

I just can't believe your attitude. Who would have thought?

Didi's depressed and you're not.

[Car horn honking]

The baby's here.

Good. The baby's here. Okay.

Minh, make sure Didi puts a hat on him.

Nancy, you make sure he takes it off when he gets inside the house.

Bobby, come on in here. I will teach you how to change a diaper.

BOBBY: Already did it.

I fed him, washed him, diapered him. G.H. is good to go.

But I got spit-up on my good shorts.

Just put them by the sink. I'll get right to it.

But maybe for now, just pull down your shirt.

Hello, Someone,

Please!

Sorry, Peggy. I was just washing your unmentionables here.

You know, towels, washcloths, that sort of thing.

Honey, I think a little piece of plaster fell in my underarm.

It is driving me crazy.

PEGGY: Left. My left.

[Sighs]

I thought I'd be spending more time doing some hands-on baby care.

I guess that was just a little unrealistic.

Helen Keller was largely useless, but look how we remember her.

First lady of the American stage.

I feel so stupid for jumping. It wasn't worth this.

Why did I do it? Do you remember?

This is really bugging me.

Concentrate on where the straw is going, please.

The straw broke off five minutes ago.

Wait, wait, wait. I just remembered something.

On the plane, I was talking to you on a phone,

Do planes have phones?

That's a good one. I'll look into that.

No. I remember now. I was talking to you.

But what did we say?

It sounds familiar. But with all the noise from the engines...

and then you falling and all, I'm not sure we'll ever know.

Please, Hank. You are gonna have to be my memory...

because I don't have one anymore.

Deal.

[Crying]

[Baby crying]

[Baby continues crying]

[Snoring]

[Bobby humming]

- Hank! - Yeah?

PEGGY: I'm hungry.

Hungry? But it's only... Okay. I'm on it.

[Baby crying]

G.H., I'm getting it. I'm heating it up.

PEGGY: Good morning, honey. How are you?

Dad, Mom's talking.

How about some eggs?

HANK: You don't have to yell. We can hear you just fine through the baby monitor.

- Why am I being fed with a bottle? - We're out of straws.

I do not want to be fed with a bottle.

It's just easier, okay? Please?

What is that?

It should be Carnation lnstant Breakfast.

It tastes like formula.

You took Peggy's bottle, and I took the baby's bottle?

[Hank laughing]

Now, that's funny.

What are you doing? Look, I do not want a bottle, okay?

HANK: Shhh.

PEGGY: I'm not hungry. HANK: Shhh.

PEGGY: I want eggs. HANK: Shhh.

[Peggy crying]

[Peggy and baby crying]

Maybe Mom just needs to burp.

Bobby, could you give us a moment?

What's wrong?

[Sobbing] My life is ruined.

I had to jump out of a plane for our anniversary.

I'm sorry, Hank. I ruined both of our lives.

[Peggy sobbing hysterically]

Okay. Look.

It wasn't your fault. It was my fault.

What?

I do remember what I said to you in the plane.

I never didn't remember.

I begged you to jump, Peggy.

You didn't want to, but I made you.

PEGGY: Hank, wait.

"Jump, Peggy, jump. It's amazing."

"It's the greatest dang feeling in the world."

Hank, I'm remembering.

I didn't jump because you told me to jump.

I jumped because of what you said right after that...

about how Didi was starting to have her baby.

I jumped because I was jealous.

You can still have a baby.

She's three years older than you and she just had a baby.

[Screaming]

PEGGY: Do you know what torture that is?

I was once one of the finest mothers in the state of Texas...

and now I can't even wipe a baby.

And I have to watch those two, Cotton and Stupid...

with their beautiful new baby that they don't even want.

[Sobbing]

- What are you smiling about? - It wasn't my fault.

It's just such a load off my mind. I feel lighter than air.

I mean, I feel bad in a new way, for you...

because what you were just saying. That stuff.

Just leave me alone, okay?

- You just want me to leave? - Yes.

So the right thing for me to do is leave, even though you're crying.

PEGGY: Go.

I'm skeptical, but okay.

[Singing] Caught between the moon and New York City.

The best that you can do.

The best that you can do ls fall in love.

[Baby crying]

Arthur, he does as he pleases

Bobby, since you're doing all the woman's work around here...

be a woman and get me my shin jelly.

- G.H. kind of needs me right now. - So, take him along.

Just get the jelly and lather me up.

Fine. I'll get you the...

[Sighs]

Could you buy me some lottery tickets?

[Screams]

I am a 12-year-old boy.

I am this child's nephew.

I cannot do this.

I cannot do this!

If anybody makes any dinner, I'll eat.

But that's it.

All I'll do is eat!

[Baby crying]

Baby, stop crying.

I... Oh...

I'm tired.

PEGGY: Didi, are you leaving?

No, please. Someone has to watch the baby.

Because unless it's flying above my head, I cannot do it,

All right, Help!

Will somebody come... Hank!

What? What's wrong?

I shouldn't have left, right? I had a feeling...

- The baby. - Yeah?

- It's crying. - It's always crying.

The baby hasn't stopped crying since it got here.

Just do something.

[Baby crying]

[Slow instrumental music]

You sure you're my brother?

Hank!

Hank, wait! Don't go! Hank, don't go!

HANK: All right. I've had enough, Dad.

There's a baby crying in the house.

- Go fix it. - You go fix it.

I ain't getting near that child. He's possessed.

He's just leaking a little milk.

Sure, it's disturbing, but he'll grow out of it.

How do you know? Are you a leaker?

Are you leaking on me right now, Leaky?

You hear that, that silence?

COTTON: G.H. HANK: Something's wrong.

[Dramatic instrumental music]

[Both gasp]

[Baby cooing]

[Gentle instrumental music]

Isn't it amazing?

It's the greatest dang feeling in the world.

[Theme music]

COTTON: A Nazi, Nazi-scrazzi,