Original subtitles

Mousetraps.

Mousetraps!

Say, why don't we try in here?

Well, that's a very good thought.

Why, good morning, madam.

Could we interest you in a mousetrap?

What kind?

Any kind. We have the latest inventions.

Yes, we have.

I'll handle this. You will handle what?

Good morning!

We’ll show you our latest mousetraps.

We don’t want any.

Oh, let’s take a look at one.

We don’t want to look at any.

If I want to look at a mousetrap, I will.

I said no.

I said yes.

I said no.

Don't!

Don't you dare hit my husband.

That goes for you, too. Oh, Mama, that was nice of you.

Now, if you want to look at a mousetrap,

look at one.

Oh, Papa! Mama changed her mind.

We don’t want to look at any mousetraps.

Well, this is your idea.

Coming all the way from America to Switzerland to sell mousetraps.

Whatever gave you that idea?

I thought there’d be more mice here.

And why should there be more mice here

than anywhere else in the world?

Don't they make more cheese here?

Do you realize that we've been here for two weeks

and haven’t sold a single mousetrap?

We're flat broke.

What?

We're flat broke.

Does that mean we haven't any money?

- You know what the trouble is, don't you? - No. What?

We're not going to the right places. What do you mean?

Suppose you were a mouse and you wanted something to eat,

Where would you go? - Well, I'd go where there was cheese, of course.

That's the idea. Where there's cheese, there's mice.

I still don't know what you mean.

Why don't we go to the cheese factories to sell them?

Let me give that a little thought.

You take the two small ones in and then come back

And help me with the big ones.

Don’t go away. We’ve got something to show you.

All right.

Look! Look what you did to my cheese!

What the hell you trying to do?

Write my piece of business. Do this business, do to take out the complaint.

Now, how's it better?

Is it ever pleased?

How am I going to go?

But I never is.

Just a moment, just a moment.

Pardon this odd intrusion, we really meant no harm.

Don't get yourself a-flutter, there's no need for alarm.

We're serving something that you need.

So what, you listen, please? We'll rid you of all the mice and we'll also save you

Cheese. Well, if we are, you'll save my cheese?

Yes, sir.

I'll go ahead and take a minute.

Well, see, Stanley, fix me a hole.

You put this trap in a conspicuous place.

What you are making holes in my floor for?

The mouse has to have some place to get in.

Oh, maybe so.

What's that God for?

That's so the mouse can't get out.

What you are making another hole in my floor for?

That's because a mouse never comes out of the same hole twice.

That's because a mouse never comes out of the same hole twice.

Oh, is that so?

Amos, come here.

Excuse me.

Why don't we make a lot of holes? It'll save time.

That's a good idea. I'll help you.

What are those men doing to our floor?

They are trying to sell me mousetraps.

Don't you waste any good money on mousetraps.

Who's wasting good money? Here's where I get rid of those new good boobies and francs.

Ja! I go get it for you.

Yeah, hurry up. This is where I get rid of those new, good boobies

in Frank's. Oh, yes, yes.

Ja! I go get it for you.

Yeah, hurry up.

See what it is.

Do you think we'd better go downstairs

And get some fire and put the water out?

I mean, get some...

The fire is out.

The fire is out. For on in your life you've acted with impunity.

- Now I've an idea. - You've an idea?

I'll be the whole business for five thousand

Cool

Why, you being so generous, we'll throw in our mule.

You can't do that, don't be such a fool.

That's my idea

No, sir. I have my mouth all set for apple pie.

It's the chief to be a one.

Yes, sir.

- I will go to the bottom of this. - See that you do.

Why not Apple Pie?

See that you do.

Yes, what is the meaning?

Why isn't there apple pie?

Yes, what is the meaning?

Well, what do you say?

- What do you say? - Don't stand there like a jackass!

Why isn't there apple pie?

Why don't you tell him? He's got his face upset for it.

Have you? - Well, say something.

Let me tell you something.

I've had better shifts than you,

Discharged, but not having Apple Pie.

Absolutely.

The size of the easy, if he cannot tell you why,

No, Apple Pie.

Make Apple Pie.

Make a lot of Apple Pie.

Yes. - Make a lot of fire. Yes.

Yes Make a hundred apple pies.

And males me an apple dumpling.

You're not a skull.

Yeah, and that goes for him, too.

I'm sorry to cause you a disengagement.

I promise it never will happen again.

Aw, just skip it. Bring me the bill.

Where the bill. Where did the bill?

Take it out of that and bring me the change in American currency -

large denominations.

No.

That is a funny shot.

You Americans give always to me a sense of humour.

That's the macheteers.

Give me some real money that I can pay the bill.

What do you mean?

Real money.

Well, you've got five thousand francs in that bill.

They are no good in this country.

- Well, where are they good? - In Bovania.

Maybe we'd better go to Bovania.

Where is Bovania?

There is no such place.

What are we going to do about it?

What are you doing going to do?

I'm going to fail the bill.

That's all the money we've got.

What are you going to do, Bambini?

Don't drink that coffee!

I'll just go and get the coffee.

You can't listen to me. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

What the

What do you think you your friends, Alejandro? After so much of all of

the time, they cannot pay the bill. So I put them to work.

You will tell them what to do.

If they break any dishes, whatever dishes they break, work another day.

Both of you, go ahead.

So you'd like them all discharging better shares than me?

There are no better chefs than me.

Are there?!

Are there? Are there?

You remember what the boss said.

For every dish you break, you'll work an extra day.

Hold it.

Catch it!

Come on! One day, two days.

By the time you leave this place

the grey hairs of your beards will be trailing on this kitchen floor.

Edward! Edward! Where in the name...

Having sir, coming.

Edward, yes sir.

Edward, what's making that noise in my head?

I'm sure I don't know, sir.

Can't you hear it? Listen.

Listen.

Bless your heart, sir. That's not in your head, that's a cricket.

A cricket?

Yes, sir.

A cricket song.

A cricket song?

There's not bad songs. The cricket song. The cricket song is a better song.

Here the cricket singing very late all day long.

Like the cricket, like the cricket.

Yates very late, wide as dawn

He seems to know what is you from him, each of you is you from him

Let's take the cue from him, with a click, click, click

Here the cricket, singing very late, all day long. Put a click, click, click in your song.

Hear that prayer singing very loudly all day long.

Hear that prayer singing very loudly. Here the cricket, Gave the victory!

Hun can I compose with that infernal racket? Stop it!

And if you can't think of me

I'll be gone

If you can't think of me

I'll be gone

If you can't think of me

I'll be gone

If you can't do it

If you can't do it

If you can't do it ♪ ♪ If you can't think of me ♪

♪ I'll be gone ♪ I'm sorry, I'm

sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I won't have it! I told you before it will not be interrupted!

Not even by me, Victor?

Darling! Oh, my darling.

What are you doing here?

Aren't you happy to see me?

Why did you follow me?

But, darling, I am your wife.

Don't you remember?

Edward, will you please introduce me to my husband?

Certainly, Mrs. Huffle.

Edward! - Edward!

I beg your pardon.

Why did you run away from me?

And why is the disguise?

This is not a disguise.

This costume is to get me into the mood to write my greatest operetta.

Pins, hoes, fancy pants! - These are not fancy pants. These are to roll in trousers.

But Vigdardarlic, I don't understand.

You've always written your greatest with me.

And the critics have all acclaimed you.

The critics have acclaimed ma?! That's good.

That's good. The critics have acclaimed me.

Just listen to what the Vienna Journal says.

Here. Read this.

Never mind, I'll read it.

Anna-Herffel's singing is divine.

Is my mentioned?

No. Anna-Herffel's new operetta is a sensation.

T.S. The composer is Victor Albert.

Well, we're a success.

Well, we're a success.

You're a success.

I'm a P.S., but that's all over now.

This is one time the critics will not be blind

Into the merits of my by your lovely voice.

You're-You're going home a-and you're going to stay there.

My home is with you.

Please try to understand. With you beside me, I could never, never compose about

a simple unsophisticated girl that a peasant could fall in love with.

And a peasant could not fall in love with me?

A peasant fall in love with you?

Oh, imagine a peasant falling in love with a primordano, the albapier the Albert

Theater. Why be scared to death of you?

Is that so? I suppose you think l...

Now, now, now, darling, please. Please.

You go back to Vienna and leave me in this peaceful atmosphere

I can compose on this term.

All light. I'll go back to Vienna.

You go ahead with your foolishness

But at the last moment, don't come crying to me to sing your masterpiece.

Peace.

Put that in there.

There you are.

Thank you.

Well, the pleasure is all mine.

And mine too.

At least the help around here is courteous.

Well, we can't help being helped.

You see, we're a couple of American gentlemen,

Temporarily embarrassed.

Yeah, we've washed dishes.

Gentlemen, who washed dishes?

Well, it's purely temporary.

You see it happen like this.

Pardon the whispering.

"When the check me, we didn't have any money."

What'd you say?

I told her that we had to stay here until we get some money to get out.

What for? Well, simply for the sake of none of your business.

Do you mean to say that you have to stay in this hotel because

you couldn't pay for your dinner?

Absolutely.

I'll take a double order of everything on the menu.

Everything is going to be lovely.

Everything is going to be fine.

Thank you. Here, put him all back and keep marking till I'll tell you to stop.

Come on now.

Go on.

How often do they fill those barrels?

Every time they become amply.

Huh.

What's on your mind?

What?

What's on your mind?

Nothing.

That brandy is put there for a humane purpose. and anyone that would stoop

so low as to touch it,

Without a just cause, should be shot.

He certainly should.

Do they save people in the summertime, too?

No. Only when it snows.

Hey, fatty, me with ma. I got some work for you inside.

What do you do that guy thinks I am? Calling me fatty.

Why don't you tell him?

Well, if I took Ben's, I'd go ahead and punch that monkey right on the nose.

I certainly would.

I'll be right in. And enough.

Oh, oh, help, help.

I'm exhausted. Oh!

Oh, help!

Help!

Oh, oh, help!

I've exhausted.

I...

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

Take off that silly costume and get out of this hotel. - Oh, I'm afraid that's impossible.

- And this costume isn't silly. - It is.

Then why do you demand that the hotel staff dress this way?

- That has nothing to do with you. - Oh, yes it has.

system that I wear this...

What are you talking about?

Don't you think I make a pretty chambermaid?

No, I don't.

You don't look like any kind of a maid.

That cost you a million for anybody.

I am sorry, sir, but I haven't the time to argue.

I must finish my duty.

Edward! Edward!

I mean, sir, I'm coming.

I mean, sir, it's not something point of observing, sir.

Well, I'm just a little bit shy.

Just like the girl planned you up earlier.

Oh, you idiot.

Oh, you idiot! Can't you see this is one of her hicks?

But I'll put her stuff to this foolishness.

This hotel isn't big enough for the two of us. Order the manager to get rid of her.

is one of her tricks? But I'll put her stuff to this foolishness.

This hotel isn't big enough for the two of us.

Order the manager to get rid of her at once.

Of course I have. - What are you waiting for?

What a tasty morsel for the Vienna newspapers.

I can see the headlines.

Famous composer, his wife thrown out the foothel.

You wouldn't dare.

You leave me no alternative.

I am at your mercy.

Oh! This is all your fault.

get me a place where I can work in pea away from everybody.

You, tool.

Well, me too. Well, well, well.

Now why don't you give up this crazy idea and stop acting like a musician?

Oh, I'm crazy, am I?

Just because I want to full fill an ambition that does not include you.

Victor, you are getting one of your spells.

You'll be foaming at the mouth soon and biting people.

And the binding people. - Yes, and you're the first one that I'm going to bite.

If you do, I'll bile you light back.

Yes.

I've just seen the manager and it's all arranged...

What's arranged?

A quiet place where you can work and nobody can disturb you.

Out where?

Out there, sir.

The tree house, that's perfect.

Have my piano set up there at once.

It's being taken care of right now, sir.

The minute we write up to move it.

Dan!

Dan! Dad!

Oli.

What?

- What? - I ought to be shot.

- What is it you wish? - We've me to move the piano.

I don't know.

'I believe this is yours.'

Oh, thank you.

'You're welcome, your lady ship.'

A chamber maid.

'I believe this is yours.'

'You're welcome, your lady ship.'

Your wealth and your leadership.

Come over here and help me push it.

Are you afraid of me? Why no, madam? No.

- No. - Do you like me?

Well... yes, ma'am.

You do?

And you, you do?

No no no no...

I mean you. Close the door.

Close the door.

See what that is.

Wait up!

Wail a minute!

Come in! Wait up! He's ready!

Say, listen, I'm not going to go across that bridge.

You just went across it.

Did I?

Well, sadly.

Come on, let's get this piano across here.

Get off.

Take it easy.

Every thing's OK. From now on it's gonna be easy sailing.

I see a monkey. Oh, what?

A monkey.

Well, it doesn't surprise me a bit.

If you don't quit drinking that brandy,

You'll be seeing pink elephants.

Now get on that pier.

Brandy, you'll be seeing pink elephants. Not going to let me.

Everything ain't just all light.

get your fool off of my hand.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Here you are.

I think you.

- Oh, please. - Yes?

- Will you tell me something? - Yes.

Are you afraid of me?

Afraid of you? No, why?

Do you like me?

Like you? I love you.

Thank you.

I love you.

Ever sin I see you in this hotel, my heart goes bumpety-bump.

Oh, er... you are so sweet.

Now that you've arranged everything and you're usual fine manner and the piano is

ruined, how am I going to work? I

have everything on the control, sir, as usual.

There'll be another piano here in the week.

A week?!

In the meantime, sir, why not use the organ in the lobby? Excuse me.

Oh, why are you drunk, these?

Oh! Why are you brought these?

Thank you so much.

You're quite welcome.

Oh, you're so sweet.

Thank you.

And I never thanked you for helping me getting into this hotel.

It was a mere nothing combined with a terrific pleasure.

- Will you tell me something? - Certainly.

You said?

If you didn't know me, wouldn't you think that I was really a peasant girl?

I'd say I would.

I'd say I would. The prettiest peasant girl I have ever seen.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

What's the matter?

I don't know.

I know.

What?

- What? - You're in love.

And what?

In love.

L-U-G-H.

Love. Am I? You certainly are. In love, L.U.G.H. love.

- Am I? - You certainly are.

How can you tell?

It's easy.

Look at the silly, sloppy look on your face. Look at it.

Look at it.

Is that what it is?

- Do you mind if I tell you something else? - What?

What?

She's in love with you, too.

How do you know?

Any dumbbell can tell that.

You know what you ought to do?

If you play your cards right, you've got her right

In the palm of your hand.

Tell me some more, Stanley.

There's nothing to tell.

All you've got to do is go and let her know.

But you don't.

You're light.

Hello! What are you doing here?

I brought you some dandelions.

Oh, thanks.

And it's got some detail, too. Haven't you?

If you love me, like I love you, I'd love you better than Irish stew.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

Oh, thanks.

And it's got some little detail, too.

Haven't you?

If you love me, like I love you, I'd love you better than Irish stew.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

Oh, thanks.

And it's got some little detail, too. Haven't you? If you love me, like

I love you, I'd love you better than Irish stew.

Boop boop doop.

Oh, your poetry is so very touching.

Thank you.

Yeah, I wrote that, didn't I?

You don't know about that.

I wonder if you'd give me a chance to take you to the Alpen Fest tomorrow.

The Alpen Festival tomorrow.

The Alpen Festival?

Yeah, it's going to be a big holiday, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah. All the countryside gathers for merrymaking.

There'll be gypsy fortune-telling, dancing and song.

I have an idea.

Will you help me?

Yes, sir.

Yes. I'd do anything in the world for you.

Then meet me here tomorrow morning at sunrise.

And I'll tell you my plan. - We'll be here.

Goodbye.

Oh, Stanley.

- Do you know what? - What?

We forgot to serenade her.

Well, let's do it now.

Now. ♪ Let me love with you

Let me call you sweetheart

I'm in love with you

Keep the light fighting in your eyes

So blue, let me call you sweetheart

I'm in love with you

Hey, you dumbbells. What are you playing music at this hour for?

Well, we're seven-eighties.

Seven-eighties, hold!

His sweetheart. You know, Anna, the new chambermaid.

Well, why?

Well, he's in love with it.

And you know what? She's in love with Well, what? Well, she's in love with her.

And you know what?

She's in love with him, too.

Isn't she, Ollie?

Uh-huh.

Can't you see?

Look.

- Uh-huh. - Look at the silly, sloppy look on his face.

Let me tell you something.

I want you to know that Anna is in love with me. She's my girl.

She's my girl.

She told me so this afternoon.

And I want that nobody to come in between.

If I ever catch you talking to her again, I'll skin you alive.

Now get out! One, two, one!

I've seen the seven wonders of the world

And yet I can't get over the earth

Oh, I'm a baby, it's the answer

Oh, let I can't get over the earth ♪ And now she sits at

your feet and makes for me

But I can't get over the hour

But with this we'll see now on the mountain side

One day she would be able to make my bride

And now she sits at your feet and makes for me

And give over the earth.

I've seen the seven wonders of the world, and yet I can't get over the earth.

There I am amazed at each the unconquinture.

For that I can't get over the earth.

A Swiss miss was sheeing down a mountainside.

One day she went heeing and became my bride.

And now she sits on Samoran's end with me.

But I can't get over.

No, I can't get over.

Yeah.

Hey, do you think anybody'll recognise us?

Even your own brother wouldn't know you.

I haven't got a brother.

The brother that you haven't got wouldn't even know you.

Don't worry, boys.

And if you are this god of...

They can't do anything to you.

Well, certainly not.

Not much.

Remember what the chef said if he ever saw us again?

He was going to skin us alive.

I don't remember when...

Go ahead, please.

Go ahead.

Ladies and gentlemen, with your kind permission, we will introduce the greatest pymodonner

That ever turned rid of contact. I can't touch her! Throw very wronged!

If you should reach within my eyes But one desire

Would you say no ♪ And desire to deal with the old saying of the wind

And if my prayer upon your lips

Should fan the fire

To deal with the old saying of the wind ♪ And the fire could

you say no to me?

Edward, go down and bring that gypsy up to my room.

Edward, go down and bring that gypsy up to my room.

Yes.

To your room, sir?

Never gone into that sort of thing, sir.

Oh, no, sir.

Tell her that I want to sign her to a contract.

Well, if that's what you'll call it, I'll hurry up would hurry.

If I should feel a love that only you in fire, could you say no to me?

It's a bit you know I don't think this is going to light this, sir.

Fool. Don't you recognise her? The! Is Anna.

Look.

What's it say?

It says we can't go in there.

Well, can you beat that?

Well, he said they got his

I've never seen a life.

I've never seen a life.

I thought I told you two not to me back here.

You know what?

What?

He thinks where was.

Oh, that's silly.

We are not asked.

We are two other fellows.

Outward.

Well, suddenly.

I could pick you two out of a million.

I bet you couldn't.

But I could.

I bet you couldn't. You know what? What? He thinks where was. We are

not asked. We are two other fellows. Outward. Well, suddenly. I could pick you

two out of a million.

I bet you couldn't.

But I could.

I bet you couldn't.

But I could.

Close your eyes.

All right.

I'll turn to the line.

Hello.

It's for you.

Oh.

Oh. Oh!

That'll hold you for a while. Come on, Stan.

Come on, sir.

All right.

Oh! Somebody! Somebody go!

Why don't you try the handbook? What's the meaning of this intrusion? Can't my

wife and I have a little privacy?

Your wife.

How can she be your wife when she's in love with him?

Isn't she?

Now let me tell you, Justin.

She is my wife.

And always will be my wife.

I thought you told me I had her right in the palm of my hand.

Well, you did, but you didn’t play your cards right.

Remember, I told you...

Oh, get out!

♪ Yo-ho, yodel-adey, ♪ ♪ yo-ho, yo-ho ♪

♪ In Swiss that's ♪ ♪ good morning to you ♪

♪ Yo-ho, yodel-adey, ♪ ♪ yo-ho, yo-ho ♪

♪ How are you? What's ♪ ♪ happening? What's new? ♪

♪ The birds sing a song as ♪ ♪ they wing through the sky ♪

♪ We're happy to see you ♪

♪ You're good for the eye ♪

♪ Yo-ho, yodel-adey, ♪ ♪ yo-ho, yo-ho ♪

♪ In Swiss that's ♪ ♪ good morning to you ♪

♪ To you Yodel-ay-ee-ho ♪