Original subtitles

Huh?

What do you think?

Am I going to make a great Dinah the Determined Duck or what?

Yeah, absolutely.

But, uh,

you know, I'm just glad this movie's animated because.

Dinah's not wearing any pants.

Wait a second.

If she's not wearing pants,

where am I going to be putting my lipstick?

Oh, girl,

if she's going all "el buffo,"

she is going to have to have a purse.

Yeah and, uh,

maybe some heels.

It might-It might make those legs look longer

and minimize the big fat duck butt.

Do not you go dissing Diney's hiney.

On page eighty-six she hip-checks the evil farmer

out of the way with her bodacious baduckadonk!

Ooh.

There she is. Yes.

Hannah, baby.

Absolute thrill to be directing you. Baz B. Berkley!

Please, call me Triple B.

Thank you for having me here, Triple B.

Or should I say, uh,

Buh-Buh-Buh.

Okay,

I've heard that a million times,

but because it's you,

I'm going to laugh. Ha.

By the way,

is the, uh,

purple pixie really here or am I just over-tired?

Oh, no, that's my best friend, Lola.

Hi! Hi.

I-I'm a big fan of your movies!

Over the Ledge and Jolt.

Oh I just-I just love you.

Well, of course you do. I mean look at you.

You're a walking cartoon.

Don't frown,

I'm saying that with love.

Okay?

Okay.

So you want to meet your co-stars?

Absolutely.

Wonderful. Come on in!

Hannah Montana,

I'd like you to meet Granny Goat,

Claude the Crabby Cow and Frankie the Frantic Field Mouse.

Hello, Hannah.

Not in the mood.

I like cheese!

Hi,

I'm Kyle Macintyre.

Man,

it must get ugly at your house when there's only one cookie left.

Not really because Frankie likes cheese!

Oy.

Okay,

so we've all met.

Wonderful. What do you say we get this rehearsal started?

My little overly paid barnyard beauties.

Again,

I say that with love.

Okay.

Okay.

Why don't you just sit down? Wonderful.

Dinah?

Dinah? Where is that miserable duck?

She's climbing to the top of the barn again.

She's trying to learn to fly!

She wants to earn some pie?

Tell her to clean out my stall!

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly,

you can fly.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

Hannah, honey,

uh,

what's with the voice?

Oh, I'm sorry,

was that too emotional? I mean I don't want to scare the kids.

Exactly.

None of us want to scare kids, okay?

Because then they run out of the theater,

I get angry letters from parents,

they close my movie down,

next thing you know,

I'm back to directing regional theater starring "he's still alive?"

and "she looks horrible!"

I don't need that.

I think one of those three B's is for "boing."

Okay,

what I need.

What I want.

What the kids want,

okay, is a duck that sounds somewhat duck-ish.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I mean when the studio called and offered me the job,

I thought they wanted a celebrity voice.

You know,

that sounded somewhat me-ish.

Hannah, sweetie, cookie,

if I wanted to have someone to sound like you,

I'd have Kyle do it.

Kyle, do Hannah.

You get the best of both worlds.

Whoa!

That was cool!

Not really hearing it.

Anyhoo, look,

if you want a duck,

I will give you a duck.

Lead me in, Kyle.

You got it.

She wants to earn some pie?

Tell her to clean out my stall.

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly,

you can fly.

Quack!

Quack.

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly,

you can fly.

How was that?

Kind of like the garbage disposal with a salad fork in it.

Dang, I stink at this.

I mean the director acted all nice, but I saw that look on his face.

You know the look of-of disappointment and-and total embarrassment.

Kind of like the look I give Jackson...

well,

pretty much twenty-four/seven.

Uh,

Mile, would you like your own slice of pizza?

Dad, please, I am way too upset to eat.

I can see that.

What am I going to do?

I would say if you just keep working on it, you'll get it.

Really?

Like I said, you just keep working on it.

I'm a duck.

I'm a duck.

I'm a dead duck.

Hello?

Hey, Hannah, how you doing?

It's Kyle.

Um, I was calling to see how it was going with the voice.

Oh, my duck is great!

My duck is awesome! My duck is...

Cooked, roasted, stuffed?

All of the above.

I know exactly how you feel.

I had to do the voice of a duck once,

so I hired a duck coach.

A duck coach?

He's amazing.

I'll make a call.

Kyle says you're the best in the business,

so do your stuff.

Okay, for what I'm paying you,

you're going to have to give me more than that. Go.

I'm going to be needing a discount.

Jackson Rod Stewart!

How many times do I have to tell you to replace the...

Uh, Mile,

if this is your way of asking for a puppy,

you win.

Dad,

I am just trying to find my inner duck.

And I'll take a beagle.

You really think that will work?

It worked for Kyle.

He said before you even think about the voice,

you really got to study the animal.

And then when you are in front of the mic,

it'll just come right out of you.

As long as you clean up anything that comes out of that duck,

waddle away.

Now, where's that barnyard animal I call my son?

He's at the beach.

One normal child,

is that too much to ask?

That's right, I'm a college man.

Really?

Yep,

studying at the universi-tay.

That's u-n...

iversi-tay.

I'm independent,

don't answer to anyone... Well,

except that cute little diapered angel called cupid.

Twing.

Aren't you going to get that?

No, it's just my,

uh, roommate, Robby.

Yeah,

musician. You know the type. A little flaky.

First he doesn't listen to me

and now he won't even pick up the phone.

I'm sick of that boy ducking me!

Oh, relax.

He didn't mean anything by it.

Hey, Rico, I'll take a water.

Take a number.

Take a number?

Since when?

Just take one.

Fine. Hey, Rico, I'm number six.

Number six,

your water is ready. Number six.

Okay, what was the point of that?

I'm trying to class up the place.

Number four,

your veggie burger is ready.

Number four.

Number four,

get your stinking veggie burger before I spit in it!

Oh, yeah. Yeah, much classier.

I don't really know what I'm going to do this summer.

I mean bicycle through France,

you know,

maybe surf Costa Rica.

It's great being my own man.

Because, as I said,

I answer to no one.

Jackson Rod Stewart!

Cool sunglasses. Can I try them?

Jackson!

And, uh, maybe your hat.

What are you doing?

Having fun. Being my own man.

Let's talk like girls.

Come on.

Oh, those are nice shoes.

Where'd you get them? They're so cute!

Excuse me, ladies.

Not interested. Taken.

Uh, Jacksina,

could I have a word with you for a second, please?

Hey, Robby, Rob-oh,

Rob-bop-a-lu-bop-ba-bing-bang-boomo.

It's my roommate,

probably needs to borrow some money.

Yeah.

Why don't you go ahead and wait over there?

I don't want to embarrass him.

Like he's embarrassing me!

Oh yeah,

said the guy in the floppy sunflower hat with the girly glasses.

What do you want, Dad?

I mean I'm right in the middle of something important here.

So was I!

And now, thanks to you,

we're out of cotton balls.

And you got to start answering your phone when I call you!

Well, I'm sorry, Dad,

but at my age it's a little embarrassing when "daddy" keeps calling.

Can't you just like text me?

I don't know how to do all that texting and tweeting

and your face and my face and all that stuff.

Could you please just learn?

I mean I don't need you calling me

to rag on me whenever I forget to replace the toilet paper,

or I don't make my bed,

or I don't take my dinosaur vitamin!

Uh, their chewable and have one percent real fruit juice. So...

I'm sorry, I usually get paid for babysitting.

"Replace the dang TP, smiley face smiley face."

I taught him how to do the smiley face.

I may be an old goat,

but I can still kick your far... Whoa.

Wow.

When you commit to something,

you don't mess around.

Yeah, well, anything to get this voice right.

I didn't know this was going to give me such a nasty feather wedgie.

Sorry I'm late, everybody.

The whole lobby's talking about some whacky girl dressed in a... Hey,

hey, there she is. Hannah.

Yeah, well,

this is the kind of commitment you get when you hire Hannah Montana.

Just you wait, Triple B,

wait until you hear that duck voice explode out of me!

You know what?

I love it.

I'm excited. Let's do it. Let's quack and roll!

Sweet. Okay, Kyle,

why don't you kick us off from the goat?

And go!

She's trying to earn some pie?

Tell her to clean out my stall!

You can do it, Dinah.

You can... Oh boy.

I'm sorry. Mm.

Isn't that the same voice?

Well, yes.

But see, uh,

I just want to show you how-how far I've come.

So just wait,

this voice is about to explode out of me right now.

Here we go.

Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly.

Oh, cheese and quackers!

Okay, I'm thinking...

And this is just out loud...

You need a little more practice.

And I'm thinking that you need a different duck.

I just think it'd better for everyone if I just quit.

Okay, whoa, whoa.

Hannah, honey, honey, hold on, hold on.

- Let's just-Let's just think about this. - There's nothing to

think about.

You obviously need someone who can walk the walk or,

you know,

waddle the waddle.

And I'm just not your girl.

So, please,

let me leave here while I still have my dignity.

Why couldn't I do it?

I've never quit anything before.

I can't believe this.

I've never been this bad at anything.

Aw, come on, of course you have.

I mean, remember soccer,

and volleyball,

and oh they're still talking about that time

you got stuck climbing the rope at gym class.

"Somebody call the fire department,

somebody call the fire department!"

It was scary.

You were this far off the ground!

And you came to comfort me.

Now please do your job!

Poor Miley.

Better.

When did Dad learn how to text?

"How go D Duck?

Bet you great."

Hey, did you get my text?

Did you see how I spelled great?

G-r-number eight!

Did you know you could do that?

It works with other words too! Like fascinate.

Exfoliate.

Irritate.

Well, W-Y-P-B.

That's "What's your prob, Bob?"

I added the Bob part.

I like that.

Ooh,

T-Y, Lilly.

Yeah.

That's "thank you".

Daddy.

I quit the movie.

What?

You quit?

I had to. I was horrible.

Well, at least you can look yourself in the mirror

and know you gave it your very best shot.

Yes, I can.

You must have worked on that thing for like a

whole twenty four hours.

Uh, minus the trip to the mall, meals, sleep.

Carry the one.

You slaved over that voice for an hour and twenty-eight minutes.

I'm exhausted just adding it up.

- You forgot the Saturday stache wax. - Oh, thank you.

Well,

that takes it down to a good fifty-five/fifty-six minutes you put into it.

Daddy,

please, I don't need this right now.

Hey, fine,

I'm not going to sit here and rattle off some big speech or anything.

Thank you.

Oh yeah.

So much for not giving me a big speech.

But, you're right,

I didn't give it my best shot.

And I really should ask for a second chance.

Good, number four,

letter U.

Dad, I'm right here.

Oh, come on, but it's just so dang much fun.

What about this voice?

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly,

you can... Raisin.

Why can't the principal ever stay home sick?

Ugh,

my head is more stuffed than the original Lassie.

There were six of them,

you know.

Walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away!

Okay, what do you think about this?

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly...

Walk away, walk away, walk away!

Oh no,

I'm getting clammy. Oh,

this-this can't be good.

Why can't I do this?

Please, help me.

Send me a sign.

How many times must I tell you?

No running in the halls!

Thank you!

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah? Ah?

Are you making fun of me?

Are you making fun of me?

You are making fun of me!

You are making fun of me!

Uh,

she had the mystery meat for lunch

and hasn't been quite right since.

Walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away!

That's right, I'm a college man.

Really?

Yep,

studying at the universi-tay.

That's u-n-i-v...

ersi-tay.

"Jackson,

when letter-R letter-U home?"

Excuse me, I'm getting another text.

Perfect. "Pick up some eggs."

Independent.

Don't answer to... anyone.

Just hold that thought.

"K."

"Plus sign, some gr-eight-ed cheese."

"You hate gr-eight-ed cheese."

"But I like to type gr-eight-ed cheese."

You are so not worth this.

No! No, come on! I just...

Enough already!

Hello.

You are out of control, mister!

Look,

this morning you texted me,

"Going running."

Then it was,

"I am texting 'plus sign' running."

Then it was,

"I fell down."

Then it was,

"Don't worry, I am 'smiley face'".

Well this is not a smiley face!

I'm pointing at my face!

Look, Dad,

I-I promise from now on I'll answer your phone calls,

just stop texting me!

I've learned my lesson!

Now, why does that boy always think

I'm trying to teach him a lesson?

I just like texting.

"Hey Mom, how are you?

I like gr-eight-ed cheese!"

You can do it, Dinah.

You can fly, you can fly.

Look at me! I'm flying!

I'm flying!

And... scene.

Wow, yes!

Yes, yes, yes.

A million times better.

Thank you!

I knew if I tried my best that I could do it!

And you did.

Unfortunately, your best,

still not good.

Wait, what?

You said I was a million times better!

True, true, true.

But, from where you started,

a million times better is still,

how do I say this... "eh".

You liked it, right, Kyle?

Well, I, um...

Kyle, Mom wants you out here right now!

Sorry, got to go.

Mom, coming!

Okay, so, again, Hannah,

real joy working with you.

- And, of course, I say that with a whole. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

this is not the way that it's supposed to happen!

See, at first I think I'm good.

Then I find out from you that I'm bad,

then I try to give up,

listen to my daddy's advice,

I work really, really hard,

knock it out of the park,

and then I thank you at the Academy Awards!

Did you park in the structure?

Yeah.

Okay,

the girl's going to validate you on the way out.

You know what?

You may think that I'm walking out of here a loser.

But I'm not.

I am the winner because I tried my best!

And that's all you can do in this crazy mixed up world.

And you know what? Maybe I didn't get this job,

but I'll get the next one.

And if I don't, I'll get the one after that.

Because Hannah Montana does not quit!

Good day, Triple B!

Aw, come on!

Seriously,

this is where you hear my heartfelt speech,

give me another chance,

then I thank you at the Academy Awards.

Wow, yes,

you know what? That's great. That's great.

And this is when I say,

they lock the structure at five.

I just wanted to make kids laugh.

- Okay, can I get security? - I'm out. I'm sorry!

Hey, Rico, I'll take a fruit smoothie.

All right, this will buzz you when it's ready.

Is this one of those pagers that vibrates?

What happened to the microphone?

Didn't work. I'd call people,

they'd ignore me,

I'd yell and it would ruin the peace

and tranquility of "The Rico's Dining Experience."

This is much more effective.

Okay.

That's a little strong, don't you think?

I'd like to see them ignore me now.

Dance, monkeys, dance!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!