Original subtitles

wow,not even in a shower do i sound that good

it's true,it's true

my dressing room is right next to his

trust me,he sounds like a cat getting his back waxed

she's right,i do

i'm super super wahhh!

oh if i was your little baby, i wouldn't wanna come out now

you're pregnant?i thought it was just too many trips to the snack table

we have a frozen yoghurt machine back there she doesn't even use a bowl

i don't,i really don't use cuz it straight down the shoot

but seriously,pregnancy has taught me that good nutrition is no laughing matter

which is why i'm gonna have a healthy carrot right now

and so is everyone in the audience, look down to your chairs

you got a carrot,you got a carrot, you got a carrot,

seriously?

the last show i was on everyone...got a car?

yeah but on Mack and Mickey you get rabbit food

yeah,we're just a cable show

oh don't worry Hannah, we didn't leave you out,enjoy!

oh you know what,thank you, i don't like carrots

i don't really like anything with a "rot" in it

could you imagine eating you know chicken 'rot' pie ?

spaghetti and 'rot' balls?i just saying it

you don't like carrots?

he can hear you!

oh you don't like c-a-r-r-o-a?carra?

come on,it's good for you!

oh sorry, If this girl's eating an orange snack...

it will be candy corn.

carrot is not a k,is it?

maybe we should get Mack a pen and paper

wouldn't help

Next time you go on the show see if you can convince Mickey to name the baby Lily?

how cute would that be?

oh she's so cute little Lilly

i'm done

good,because she's having a boy

and she probably name it Bob so Mack might has a chance at spelling it

mommy i don't like carrots

hey just like you

you loved carrots yesterday

if Hannah Montana won't eat carrots,

i won't eat carrots,i'll eat candy corn

wow,what a nice little role model you're

ok,that's just one kid,it's not like Hannah started the great carrot revolution

in other news,Hannah Montana starts the great carrot revolution!

faceless news reporter say what?!

her rampage on Mack and Mickey has sent shock waves thru the carrot industry,

as kids across the america ditch the healthy snack for candy corn

we want candy corn, we want candy corn,we want candy corn

Don't look at me,Hannah said it

i try so hard to stay out of the trouble,

i don't party with crazy celebrities, don't use bad language,

and then you walked into my life, you crunchy little creep!

Mile there's only one way to pay him back for what he did to you,

chop him!chop him good!

dad,i'm being serious

kids all over america aren't eating carrots and it's all your fault!

my fault? Mile you've hated carrots ever since you were a baby

and that is your excuse?

a responsible parent would've shoved it right into my toothless little mouth,

but no!you had to roll over and give me cream spinach!

what kind of father are you?!

hey now,just because the rest of the country overreacting

doesn't mean you have to

i am not overreacting!

in fact i just thought of a rational

intelligent solution to fix this whole carrot situation

are you telling me this is your rational intelligent solution?

Well this is as good as it gets when the brain forms out carrots!hoo!

Everybody's crunching me, i clear your skin and help you see,

im super super, im super super carrot

- Aye! - Aye 'I' Aye!- Aye I' Aye Aye!

back off,boys!and let the master of cool show you how to make a first impression

she didn't see,still in the game!

Not when she gets a load of smokin Oken! Watch this!

in your dreams,my friend

i saw her first

i'm older- i'm taller!

i'm cuter!ptttt..

I'll tell you what you both are. Not that guy!

face it,when you got it,you got it, but when you don't,you're you guys

oh ho,i got it

yes,so do i,

but my mom made me take a oatmeal bath

and she doesn't want me to sweat out on my first day.

you are perfect!

i have been looking for it all day and you two have got it!

yeah,but i took a oatmeal bath...ok

you were saying?

i need two models and you two lucky ducks fit the bill

hahaha,get it?duck and bill?

- if we laugh do we get the job? - yes

- hahahaha,stop it,it hurts! - it's killing me right there!

wait wait wait a minute,you want them to be models?

for what?hockey masks?

even then,they're still the eye slits. ,you see some of them!

actually i'm doing an ad for a dating service called dream match

and I want to use you two to show girls

the kind of hot guys just waiting to meet them.

and i can't wait to meet the girls who can't wait to meet me

Jackson Stewart,hot guy,Tss!

and me,Oliver Oken,other hot guy

and we're back with Hannah Montana

Oh and she looks so cute I could just dip her in Ranch dressing

and eat her right up!

trust me she could,lunch truck came by yesterday just the tires drove off.

Just tires- I know!

but seriouly,i just want to tell all the kids out there,

that Hannah Montana thinks carrots are great!

and from now on, I'll eat them everyday!

mmh mmh good!

Oh and so true about them being good for your eyes.

and how!

i put down half a carrot cake last night

and finished the final Harry Potter book,

can you believe that ending!

shhh!he's still reading book 4!

really those books are enormous no wonder you're so big

no wonder she's so big

so Hannah,have you read the Harry Potter's?

you know what,i like waiting for the movies,

i mean with my busy schedule who has time for reading?

but i'll always make time for carrot eating!

now she loves carrots but hates books,

what's next for this troubled teen?

oh boy

all across america, children are refusing to read

here at East Northumberland Elementary School,

kids have closed their story books and are saying:

wait for the movie like Hannah, yeah!wait for the movie like Hannah,yeah!

well on the bright side, I made a lot of carrot farmers happy.

you know,too bad you didn't say you hate the fudgy buddies

Oh or you could've said you hated Orlando Bloom

then you'd had boxes and boxes of Bloom

ok hello guys, pop star in the toilet here

oh come on honey,i know you worried about this but,it'll all blow over.

Yeah your Dad's right. I mean it's not like it's some international crisis.

oh really?

it's an international crisis,kids all across the globe are waiting for the movie

in France

even in China

but you can't print that, i never said i didn't like reading!

hold on,i'm getting another call

Please be one of those funny caveman trying to sell me car insurance!

you shouldn't even be talking to the press,let me handle this

leave Britney alone!!

Britney?

oh oh sorry my bad

- Mile I just got off the phone ... - leave Hannah alone!!

what are you yelling at me for? We're all on the same side here.

- oh no,i was just...you know taking... - it outside

leave Hannah...

hey i got some great news for you

just talked to Mack and Mickey and they're gonna let you

go back on the show tomorrow and straight this whole mess out!

oh great,so i can go back and put my

big mouth on television in front of millions of people?

why didn't i think of that?

oh no,honey,now this thing ain't gonna go away

until you get back out there and undo what you did when you tried

to undo what you did it the first time you done did it

but,what if when i try to undo what i did when i tried to undo what i did done

i do again what i did before when i tried to undo what i did?

If you're afraid you're gonna put your foot in your big mouth again

we might need to hire a world class expert

in what I like to call the 'double talking dosido'

hello non models

- you don't mean... - heaven help me yes i do

alright let's dosido this thing

so what's your favourite color?

that's easy purple

no no no no no!

cardinal rule of double talk: never give a straight answer

straight answers are death

but it's the truth

the truth is death

by saying you like purple you just alienated every other color in the rainbow

you say that tomorrow and millions of little girls

in pink t-shirts are gonna hate your guts

okay then how am I supposed to answer the question?

somebody asks you a question you just give them the old... razzle dazzle!

alright look Dad ask me something anything

okay did you do your homework today son?

Dad I can't tell you how good it makes me feel

to know you care so much about my education

you know I was actually talking about that

with Max when we were shooting hoops and...

oh my gosh that reminds me his dad has

Laker tickets and was wondering if you wanted to go

are you kidding me give me his number and i'll...

ohh he is good

okay uh...let me try it again

okay so Hannah what's your favourite color?

oh that's funny you should ask

- You see I was actually talking about that with my friend Lola

good start now kick it up a notch

on our way to San Diego- i say kick it!

- In Donald Trumps Golden Blimp ... - yes

and we were looking over the majestic Pacific- Don't offend the other oceans!

- the majestic mighty waters- -nice save now take me home

and I just thought about how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful magic world

so the student becomes the master my work here is done yarda yarda yarda

now if you'll excuse me I have to unleash this...

on the world!

hey hold on just a second son...uh did you actually finish your homework or not?

c'mon Dad

nexy year I'll go off to college and you're not gonna be there to constantly

hound me about my homework

that's something I'm gonna have to do for myself

and that's never gonna happen unless you start backing off

I'm sorry Jackson you're right- thanks

Dad- oh sweet pea he got me again!

Well on the plus side... he's got lawyer written all over him.

that's it that's it now show me angry!

yes now show me sad!

I love it! now strut!

Now show me your inner tiger!

now you're on fire so burn me baby burn me

why settle for average

when you can have a dream match

at last my world make sense again

up is up down is down and losers are still losers

we're not losers we're...average

don't worry you average little heads boys,

nobody buys this magazine anyway

-yeah -yeah

that's why I had this made

so once again just to be perfectly clear reading is a wonderful thing

and I Hannah Montana strongly recommand it to all my fans

and even kids who aren't my fans

because reading is that important. Pick up nail polish remover and floss.

Sorry. I have to get that on the way home.

I should've stopped reading but once I started it's just so darn fun

the end

well said

you know Hannah I'm always looking for a great book what's your favourite?

my favourite?

mine is the James And Giant Peach

I just love the idea of a big PEACH

Mack no one cares

so Hannah you were saying?

well you know I just...

I just love so many many many books

and you know what you should see the stack of books on my bedside table

which is a gorgeous table by the way

I got it on tour in Japan

yeah what a fascinating country

as all the countries are in this beautiful magic world

it is, isn't it? it's a magic world full of books

and your favourite would be?

well you know I don't really like picking favourites

I think of books as little..uh.. kids. Little paperback bundles of joy!

so how could you expect a mother to pick her favourite£¿

my mom did

my bother Marvin

who grown up to be a bald unhappy pharmacist in long beach

who looks good now mom?

five days a week people

so Hannah why don't we take some questions from your fans in the audience?

great I love my fans

and people who aren't my fans

I love everybody in this beautiful magic world

hi I'm Isabel.and I'm confused

I used to like carrots but then you said you hated them so then I hated them

then you said you liked them so... do I like them now or not?

of course carrots are wonderful

then why did you say you hated them? were you lying?

uh...well Isabel that question took a whole lot of courage

and speaking of courage what about that Washington crossing the Delaware

oh oh that reminds me what did Dela wear?

Maybe a New Jersey

I don't know but i'll ask her

like Alaska

next question

I love reading but then you said that you hated it

and now you say you like it again and..

I just don't know what to do..

oh no honey don't cry just cause I don't like reading doesn't mean you don't have to

so you don't like reading again!

- I didn't say that! - yes you did

ok ok what I meant was- make up your mind!

you're right mommy celebrities are flakes.

you're flake you're right

seriously Hannah it..it is a bit confusing

I mean these kids look up to you, you should just choose your words more carefully

that's what I'm trying to do- well you're not doing a very good job

okay listen

this is what I am not doing

I'm not being straightforward with you guys

the truth is I hate carrots

I always have I always will

let me see a show of hands of how many of you guys

actually like every single vegetable

every vegetable?

Brussel sprouts?

- To be fair I didn't know that was a vegetable.

of course you didn't that's okay that's okay

and hey I love books and I wish I had more time for reading but I don't

and just because I can't doesn't mean you shouldn't

I mean if one of your friends didn't like carrots or...

didn't read much would that stop you from eating carrots or reading?

no

right so don't do what I do just because I'm famous

I think what Hannah saying here is her likes or dislikes are no more important than yours

self worth comes from you not from others

well that's right not just another pretty face people

but it is pretty, isn't it?

so do you guys have any more questions for me?

I promise to be honest

what's your biggest secret?

okay now it's time for a beautiful magical commercial

see you tomorrow losers

go go go

1 2 3

great

average with just a hint of dumb, this will be perfect for your next ad

uh...next ad?

Arvins Learning centre go from brainless to brilliant

forget it lady. you humiliated us once and you are not gonna do it again

what you call average we call real

so maybe we don't look like that guy, who does?

will that guy looks like....

we're not gonna apologize for who we are- yeah

and there is nothing- nothing

In this world that would ever make us compromise our integrity EVER again. -

ever again!

I'll give you each 1000 dollars

- So like mildly dumb or super dumb? - we can do it all