Original subtitles

Yaow ming, I like the view up from here!

Hello ladies... Jackson Stewart. Tall guy.

Can't reach that? Let me get it for you!

Oh yeah! I should have done this years ago... oh...

What are you doing on the floor?

Just... lost something.

Oh! If it's your dignity, you might want to check the empty box of platform shoes!

I can take these back. Good luck finding a store to take back that overbite.

Sometimes I wish I had a brother. And then I come over here... all better!

So where were you guys anyway and... why couldn't you still be there?

Rock and Roll fashion awards.

Oh, and it was endless.

I mean four hours to find out who won best knee socks? Ptt.

And by the way, Avril Lavigne, so robbed!

You're just mad because you didn't like the swag bag.

Miley, there's nothing in it for guys...

I mean, You're just mad because you didn't like the swag bag.

Miley, there's nothing in it for guys... I mean,

moisturisers, mousses, root rejuvenator... what is that?

I'll tell you what it is. The perfect gift for my next girlfriend!

Thank you very much.

Hate to burst your bubble buddy, but

that stuff expires in three years.

Hey, don't listen to Oliver.

I mean, I love mine. Free lip glopper...

this is the best swag bag ever.

Oh-ow! My lips turned numb. I can't feel my lips!

I can feel your spit.

Oh, hey Oliver, you can have my neck pillow.

No, no, no.

You should save that for the plane on the class trip to Washington.

Oh yeah. That. I'm not going.

Wait, what do you mean you're not 'bowing'.

I just can't afford it this year.

I can pay for you.

No, that's too much money.

That's not too much bunny... money.

Just think of it as... an early half birthday present.

Well you know, actually, tomorrow's my half,

half birthday, two weeks removed.

And I've never been to Italy.

Oh, you know where else you've never been.

Where? Wow!

Please!

There will be other trips.

Local ones like...

to the museum of natural history!

You know Miley

I mean I could be wrong... but I think she really wanted to go.

You are a shining lighthouse in the bay of stupidity.

Well I have my moments!

So while you future leaders of America visit Washington...

my city,

remember, all men are creatd equal, never tell a lie,

and when picking up your costume...

always check the size.

Ar, Lily, do you have a sec?

Yeah... what's up Mr. C?

Great news! Looks like just enough money in the budget

for one extra student to go to Washington!

And I. Was Thinking. You!

Really! Yeah!

Thank you so much Mr. C, you're the best teacher in the whole world.

I told you it would work.

You know Miley, you are the best friend ever.

And when you take me to Italy

I'm going to buy you a pizza of your choice one topping.

Let's not get greedy.

I can't wait to tell the guys I'm going.

Why is there a cheque from Miley hanging out of your D.C. Tour book?

Uh-ow.

Ar...

I don't know, she's a girl! Why are you interrogating me,

what are you, my mother? Gosh!

Eight years of community theatre and this is the best you can act?

I do townspeople! And off stage voices!

Miley Ray Stewart!

Miley's not here right now, leave a message! Beep!

I see you.

OK, I just wanted you to go on the trip with me,

what's the big deal?

The big deal is it makes me feel like I'm stealing off you,

if I can't pay for it myself, I'm not going.

I've got an idea.

We're not going to Italy Oliver.

I was talking about... Lily having a rummage sale.

And I will hold for the applause.

Hey! A rummage sale, that's a great idea!

I've got tons of stuff I don't need.

I could totally raise the money.

Thank you, Oliver! Yeah, you're welcome Lily.

Oliver! That's... a great idea.

Well you see, that's the thing.

The Oken Mind... I'm always thinking.

I'll never...

yeah yeah... I got it... no no... just a minute.

Rico, Rico, dude, I got half the beach here Could you do something?

OK. I'll see what I can do.

Hey other half of the beach!

Two for one hot-dog sale!

He's kidding! He's totally kidding!

Rico, you're killing me here.

Would you please hire some more help!

What do you think, I'm made of money?

Oh look, I guess I am. My mistake.

Oh no. She's back!

Sarah's still got a thing for you?

Well, it's understandable.

She's always picking up... garbage.

It's not funny. She's obsessed.

Tell me when she's gone!

Hey Sarah, what's going on?

Just cleaning up the beach.

I'm getting raw materials for my - Jackson sculpture!

Wow, you are crazy.

About him.

Hey, how would you like to work here...

next to Jackson... all day long?

You mean Getting paid while I'm working down my man?

You bet!

Great! You start next week.

- OK! Bye! - Bye!

Aah!!

Nooo! Not the money suit! ah!

Thank you! Tell your friends.

Oah...

Hey Lily, how much for this sketchy thing?

Five bucks.

I'll give you a buck fifty.

Forget it!

But it's missing a knob!

You're a knob!

I'm trying to get to Washington, why are you haggling!

What happened to 'the customers always right'?

Oh... my goodness.

Hey guys, hows it going?

Great, it's going great!

I am in the perfect location.

I am wearing my lucky hat and hey...

I just sold a lamp for a dollar!

Oh great! So how much is that you've made so far?

A dollar.

Stupid hat, wake up! Start working!

Hey, hey. Maybe it already has. Stupid hat, wake up! Start working!

Hey, hey. Maybe it already has.

I ar, found some stuff

I was just about to throw out,

and I'd like to donate it to th e cause.

- Oh, I guess that'd be OK. - cool and I'd like to donate it to th e cause.

- Oh, I guess that'd be OK. - Cool.

Are you kidding me!

What! This stuff isn't new... it's just...

I like to keep the boxes, in in case we move.

Oh man... the Takamori 10803D-HD! This just came out today!

I'll give you five bucks for it.

Miley! We talked about this.

I'm going to earn this money by myself, now take that stuff back.

Fine.

Oh, how much for this! Five bucks.

I'll give you a thousand. Miley!

Bye. I'll give you a thousand. Miley!

Hey! Look at all these people.

I'll give you a hundred for these Hannah Montana autographed socks!

What? I don't have any...

Hold on, hold on, I'll get to everyone.

Oh Miss Montana!

Oh. Oh hi there person I've never met before in my life.

I'm just trying out this fine pen.

Hopefully I didn't damage... or radically increase the price of any of these items.

- Out! - I'm going.

Leave the pen!

Oh right! This pen.

I'll just put it on the table with all these other stuff I'm touching.

Me, Hannah Montana!

Come on, lucky hat! Come on, lucky hat! Come on, lucky hat!

Well... ar... you made enough to get to Washington. Yes!

If you left... ar, from you know, Washington.Ohhh...

Lily, I don't know why you didn't just sell some of that signed Hannah stuff.

Forget it! So, I'll stay home. So what.

Someone has to... get peoples mail... and water their stupid plants and...

feed their boring little ungrateful turtles.

Bring me back a t-shirt.

I'm sorry Lily. T-shirts are a little bit more expensive than that.

Oh, excuse me, where did you get that hat!

A gift store specializing in unlucky junk.

- I'll give you a thousand bucks for it! - What!

That's an authentic New Jersey Knight's hat!

You know, my father, he played second base for them. In the 1940's!

Please let me buy it.

I mean... a thousand dollars and I only paid two bucks for it.

- You need five hundred to get to DC. - Five hundred and it's yours.

T-shirt!- Five twenty!-

There you go.

- Thank you so much. - No, no, no. Thank you!

Hey Lily! Either somebody's got sand in their pants or they're going to DC!

Little bit of both! Whoa!

Wait wait! Wait a minute...

my father played second base?

I'll give you a thousand bucks? Miley! You set this up.

Set what up? What are you talking about?

Look me in the eye and super secret swear

that you did not give that guy money to buy my hat.

Lily, I did not give that guy money to buy your hat. Super secret swear.

Yes! I'm going to DC!

What!

I did not give that guy money to buy Lily's hat!

I gave it to his wife, she gave it to him.

Miley, you know she's gonna find out someday.

Yeah, I know but see I thought about it, and find then I probably done

so many things that are worse so it won't really matter.

S-weet!

You see that smile?

'Cause of me! That laugh I did that!

Sometimes a little white lie can make it all good.

And sometimes a little red hat can make that all go away...

Huh?

Oh no. The guy I got to buy Lily's hat was Blabby Bobby's daddy!

You know this wouldn't of happened if we were in Italy... they were beret's!

That's France!

Now... just... just distract her!

How?

Lily! Oliver's having trouble breathing!

I am? Aww!

I think it's the reaction to being underground.

Try to relax him, I'll go get Corelli!

- Oh oh OK Are you a little bit nervous there? - She

Yes, yes, I know! Miley's getting help...

don't worry, you're going to be fine.

Hey Blabby!

How's the trip going so far?

You have great hair. Let me touch it!

Oh yeah!

Ah... Miley... I have a girlfriend.

Cool.

See you at the White House!

Um... can I have my hat back?

What hat?

- Oliver says you punched him! - Good luck getting to France!

He's a liar.

Hey! Is that my hat?

No.

Nop! His hat. See ya, buh-bye Blabby!

Yeah, my dad got it at a rummage sale last week

and told me not to tell anybody. Woops!

Doohp! See! I told you it was my hat.

Hey, Blabby, be careful, I mean, I know how much it means to your grandfather.

What?

Your grandfather, the one who played ball.

Yeah, yeah! MVP 1948! You must be so proud.

Who wants to sing the Subway song?

The wheels on the train go clickity-clack, clickity clack...

You lied to me!

Well.

You super-secret swore that you had n othing to do with me getting the money!

Look... I... I did it for you!

No you didn't! If you had done it for me

you wouldn't of done it because I told you I didn't want you to do it,

but you did it anyway, so you did it for you. You .. dooer for youer!

Come on Lily, give me a break!

We're in DC! Everybody lies here.

Hold on kids, we're about to...

It's OK... my tazer broke my fall! Arghh!!

Would you stop that! Just... get to work!

Sarah... this is never going to happen!

Yes it is!

Hey Jackson...

Step off sister! Or I'll hurt you!

Have a nice day!

Hey! You have got to get rid of her!

Why... is she driving you crazy?

- Yeah! - Good! Then she's doing her job.

Who ordered the nachos?

That's me.

Hold out your hands.

What about a plate!

Ah... plates come from trees.

I'm not paying for this.

Not paying! why not pay! Who's not paying!

It's funny. People are having a hard time with Rico's growing green.

Rico's growing what!

Can I get a refill on my soda?

Sure! Hands or mouth?

Hands.

Must be a problem with the new generator. You get what you pay for.

Pick it up, pick it up!

Sorry Sarah, I just need a little break, my legs are cramping.

We're saving a planet here! Suck it up, Dad!

Alright! I lost sight of the big picture.

Come on, pick the pace, on the way, on the way.

Well, well, well. Who's having a problem with our new employee now?

You're right. Green girl's gotta go!

Sarah! Over! Here!

Did I do something wrong?

Where do I begin?

No plates, no cups, no customers, no cash, no HAPPY!

Hey Lance Armstrong! Slow down!

You the bird from mother Ha ha ha ha

I'm sorry Sarah, but in the words of my hero,

the great Donald Trump, bless be his name.

You're F... F... F...

What are you doing?

Being brave.

You're FI... FI...

PROMOTED!

What!

From now on, you're assistant manager.

Really!

Just get some plates and cups we can use.

I know where we can get environmentally

friendly paper products made out of elephant poop!

Great... just don't tell the customers.

Rico, what are you doing!

You got a problem? Take it up with your new boss.

I know how you can be employee of the month!

Right this way, please.

Now as you know, the White House is the seat of presidential power.

The president struggles on a daily basis with many enormous duties.

Has he tried more fibre in his diet?

Oliver! Sorry the kids' a little jet lagged. Carry on.

- Lily, I need to ¡­ - No talking!

Well, I'll promise. But you might want to get hers in writing.

As I was saying, ur, the first lady has many duties of her own,

but they tend to be far less frequent.

Again, my apologies.

Now if you'll follow me, I'll introduce you to the Executive Secretary

who makes sure the President's duties don't get too backed up.

Oh come on, you did that one on purpose.

Lily! Come on. Can't we just skip to the part where you know,

you forgive me, and we hug

and that imaginary audience in my head goes ¡ohhhh'.

No! You broke a super secret swear.

Not technically. You asked me if I gave the money to Blabby's dad, I didn't.

I gave it to his mom.

Yeah well you broke the spirit of the stuper secret ¡­

the swooper secret ¡­ the ¡­

you know what I mean!

All clear, checking north corridor.

We are talking about this!

Lily! I only lied because you wouldn't let me help you.

I didn't want your help and I didn't want your money.

Yeah but you wanted to be here and now you are isn't that all that matters?

No! You lied to my face Miley, how can I trust you again after that?

Has she ever lied to you before?

What?

Jay Demopoulos, reporter for the Boston Times,

does she have a history of lying to you?

Ar no, not really, I think we're in the wrong room,

I'm going to head back to the tour.

Steve Meyer, the Morning Gazette,

you seem like you're running away from something.

Excellent point Steve. Care to elaborate on that?

You know, they're all the press, they have a right to know.

No, Miley, this is private! I mean, they are very busy people,

I'm sure they have better things to do.

Are you joking? We're bored to tears.

We've been waiting for the president for three hours.

So Miley, you believe under certain circumstances it's OK to lie?

Well ¡­ you're right, they're busy people, they don't have time for us ¡­.

No, no, no, no, like you said, they are the press, they have a right to know.

Yeah, come on, answer the question!

Tough room!

Alright, listen people, here's the truth.

She's my best friend. And she wouldn't let me help her.

Ar¡­ Jay, and then you at the back.

Is it true? You wouldn't let her help?

Well only because she's always helping me and I wanted to do this by myself.

If she was really my best friend, she would've listened.

Lily, that's ¨C.

Hey, excuse me, can you guys just hold on for one second ¡­ we're busy here.

Lily, you're right. You're not my best friend.

You're more than that, you're like my sister!

- Really? - Yes.

And how could I let my sister stay home when I know there's something I can do to help.

What do you say?

Well, I guess I was being a little stubborn. I mean,

I guess there's no shame in taking help from your sister.

Hey!! Just like in my head!

Hiii.

Hey.

You're cute.

Oh no. No, no, no. You definitely don't want to go there.

Ohhh¡­ playing hard to get.

Seriously. I really think that you should leave.

And if I don't ¡­.?

Don't you be flirting with my man.

OK, bye!