Original subtitles

Man, Miley is so lucky. Her voice is so pure and natural and...

Okay, l know l had a chilli dog for lunch,

but there is no way that's me.

Lola...

Sorry! My bad.

How'd that sound, Dad?

Perfect.

That is such a great song!

Have l told you it's my mom's favourite?

Hey, here's a wacky idea! Her birthday's coming up.

Maybe you could make a special kind of personal recording,

and l could give it to her as a present?

You spent all her gift money on those shoes, didn't you?

They didn't have them in her size.

l hear you. Last Christmas, l bought Daddy these earrings.

-See? This is why we're friends. -Exactly.

So, you'll do it? You'll record the song?

Nope, you will.

You're not kidding.

No, kidding is when l tell my dad that he looks good in that dorky moustache.

Your mike's still on, darling.

Love you!

Lilly, to really make this special, you're gonna have to record the song.

But l don't have a voice like yours.

You'll be surprised what you can sound like in a professional studio.

Trust me, you're gonna sound great.

Okay.

So, do you think my mom will like it?

Like it?

She's gonna be speechless, right, Dad?

You see?

They say that good things take time

But really great things happen in the blink of an eye

Thought the chances to meet somebody like you were a million...

l haven't felt this queasy

since my grandpa dragged me into that shirts and skins b-ball game

at the seniors' centre.

The skin was bouncing more than the ball.

l could've lived my whole life without that picture in my head.

You're not actually going to give this to her, are you?

Of course not. l'm going to give her this one.

Wow, a little reverb, some overlay. Nice.

Daddy called it ''Extreme Mix-over. Lilly Edition.''

Now she'll never know how unbelievably...

-Hi, hi. -Completely wonderful she is!

Listen to you, you singer, you!

One in a million...

Oh, my gosh! l'm fantastic!

Almost too good to believe.

But not.

My mom is gonna be so blown away.

l got to tell you, l was a little nervous. Nobody in my family can really sing.

Yeah, heredity's a powerful thing.

For instance, my mom's feet always hurt,

and now so do mine.

Hey, why don't you just listen to the headphones?

You know, get the full effect.

l'm trying to do a nice thing here.

Lilly's happy, her mom's gonna be happy,

who's it gonna hurt?

You're one in a million...

Any creature with ears.

Yeah.

Go ahead and look, but you can't touch.

Dude, what happened to you?

Did you get lost on the way to the bullfight?

Go ahead and joke,

but my father won my mother's heart dressed like this.

Your father's a billionaire.

He could've dressed like a duck and won her heart.

And what died on your lip?

Stop it! She'll see.

This is all for Sarah?

Come on, Rico, what'd that poor girl ever do to you?

She stole my heart!

l just wish l had someone who could find out if she likes me, too.

A friend, a pal, an easily replaceable employee.

All right, fine. But lose the 'stache,

or the next thing you know, she inhales it during a kiss,

you become the laughingstock of the school,

and you're forced to move from Tennessee to California.

Believe me, it can happen.

Hey, Sarah. Nice pose.

Thanks. lt aligns my chakras.

Well, you're gonna be in for a chakra when you hear what l have to say.

The President got my letter and agreed to give Arizona back to the Apaches?

This'll go a lot faster if you just stop talking.

Okay.

Look, there's this guy who really likes you,

but he's kind of shy, and he doesn't want to say anything

until he knows whether you like him, too.

Oh, my gosh! Does this guy go to my school?

Yeah.

And is he maybe not the tallest guy around?

Yeah.

Jackson! l like you, too!

No, l...

Okay, okay, all ninth graders, listen up!

The circus l hired for the freshmen fundraiser is no longer available.

Last night, the fire-eater had a bad taco and burped the place to the ground.

But no worries.

One of our very own has come up with a brilliant, last-minute substitution.

Karaoke night

Night! Karaoke night! They get it.

For admission, you get food, drink,

and the chance to get up there and be compared to...

Me

You! You. They get it.

Well, now l know not all of us can sing as well as some people.

Stop pointing.

But l still expect to see everybody here and singing on Saturday night!

Hey, it's either this or a car wash.

And, trust me, you don't want to see this business in a wet T-shirt.

Hey, Miley, if you're too gutless to sing,

you can always go up there and do one of your pig calls.

You mean like this? ''Amber, Ashley, get in here!''

Boo-yah!

That's weird. Her pigs have our names.

Real mature.

Exactly what we'd expect from the tone-deaf twins!

-ln your face! -ln your face!

Well, what you don't know is that l happen to have a really great voice.

What? No! Lilly, you can't sing...

Up there, with Amber!

Why not?

Because l'm coming down with something,

and l just gave it to you, sorry.

You two are coming down with something, all right. Chicken pox.

Emphasis on the chicken!

l put the emphasis on the chicken!

What are you so worried about?

You heard that CD, l can take her!

Hey, check this, Twitney Houston, l'm gonna sing you off that stage.

Oh, it is so on!

l'll see you Saturday night, Smelly Clarkson!

You heard her, Celine Peon.

You can't ''Celine Peon'' after l ''Smelly Clarkson.''

This is gonna be so great!

When she hears my voice, she's gonna freak!

She ain't the only one, honey.

Hit me again, Marty.

And this time, leave the carton.

Well, well, well, if it isn't the Sarah stealer,

the babe bandit!

Look, Rico, she came on to me.

Do you really think l want a 1 4-year-old girlfriend

whose idea of a hot date is snuggling around a campfire

roasting gluten-free marshmallows?

l don't care what you want.

All l care about is Sarah and her happiness.

That's why l need you to crush her and send her crawling back to me.

Look, l am not gonna break her heart. l'll find another way.

And aren't you lactose intolerant?

What's it to you?

Hey, Jackson! This weekend, want to go get typhoid shots together?

Why would l want to do that?

So we don't get typhoid

when we go to build alternative housing in Tanzania, you silly goose.

Bye!

l should be the one risking infectious disease in Tanzania!

No arguments here.

Try to hit all of the notes

l'm hitting all of the notes

Miley, we've been at this for an hour. l don't want to damage my voice.

Trust me, that ain't gonna happen.

l don't even know why l need to do these stupid exercises.

We both know l'm going to blow Amber off the stage.

This isn't about Amber.

This is about you being the best you can be.

But l'm already the best l can be.

l hope not.

l mean, there's always room for improvement, right?

Hey, Lilly.

How'd your mom like her birthday present?

She loved it

Did you play it for her or sing it?

She played it, her mom loved it,

and now Lilly has challenged Amber to a sing-off

in front of the whole ninth grade.

Yep. l'm gonna sing l Got Nerve.

You sure do.

Help me.

You know, Lilly, your voice reminds me of another great singer.

Really? Who? Beyoncé? Shakira?

-Johnny Cash. -Really?

Yeah, you just got something really special about your voice,

something honest.

Where're you going with this, cowboy?

Now, you see what Johnny does is he talks his songs.

Brilliant...

...ly.

He talks his songs brilliantly.

We haven't met but that's okay

'cause l know you will be asking for me someday

Chills.

-Okay, what's going on? -Nothing!

-Got anything else? -Can she rap?

Hello! Still in the room!

-Daddy, maybe it's time that... -Leave? lf you insist.

l was gonna say, ''Tell her the truth.''

Coward!

Hello.

What truth?

This...

Help me before l get used to this guy...

What did you do to my voice?

On this CD, nothing.

On the one you gave your mom...a lot.

You re-mixed me?

Technology. Gotta love it, huh?

Oh, man, so this is how l'm gonna sound

in front of the whole ninth grade?

Thanks a lot.

Lilly! l'm sorry. l was just trying to do something nice.

Like what, ruin my life?

lf l don't sing, Amber makes a fool out of me,

and if l do sing, l make a fool out of me.

What do you want from me? lf l could loan you my voice, l would.

Hit it.

Sorry. l like to go for a big finish.

-You'll take what l give you. -Yes, ma'am.

Jackson!

Jackson, what're you doing?

Just locking in perfection, baby. l call it ''shellacsing the Jackson.''

Gorgeous and water-resistant to 200 metres.

But aerosol sprays are ruining our ozone.

Aren't you worried about global warming?

So my grandkids will never see a polar bear, big whoop.

l never got to see a dinosaur. You don't see me crying about it.

Oh, man, l'm all out.

You can't just leave those there.

They have to be properly disposed of in a hazardous waste facility.

l've got a hazardous waste facility. l call it the Pacific Ocean.

-But that'll pollute our beaches! -l don't care.

Aren't l horrible? You should break up with me.

Break up with you? You need me now more than ever.

-What? -This is perfect!

l was feeling guilty about spending time with you

when l could be saving the world,

but now by spending time with you, l will be saving the world!

Your hair hurts.

All right, look, look, l don't have a crush on you.

l never had a crush on you.

When l came to talk to you, l was talking about Rico.

He's the one who likes you.

He doesn't look like he likes me.

Sweet niblets!

Excuse me. What are you doing?

Chilling with my new girl, Rosalita.

But what about Sarah? You were nuts about her.

l was. Until l met Rosalita.

Sarah!

Rosalita!

Sarah!

Rosalita!

Ain't love grand?

-Look, Sarah, l'm really... -lt's okay.

lt's obvious you weren't emotionally ready for me.

Yes! Yes. Thank you for understanding.

That's why l'll wait.

l waited six years for the California low-flow toilet initiative,

and l can wait for you.

Bye!

But l'm not worth waiting for! Ask anybody!

-Yeah. -Yep.

Okay. She gets it. Thanks.

Oh, man, she sounds good.

Yeah, but you're gonna sound better.

Oliver's got this mike patched into the same frequency as the stage mike.

So l'll be singing in here, your mouth moves out there,

and Amber's mouth just does this...

Got it. Remember, l like a big finish.

l remember. Just go and have fun!

Singers. They're all divas.

There ain't nothing itsy-bitsy about you, big boy.

Thank you, thank you. l was good, wasn't l?

That's the always humble Amber Addison with Bigger Than Us.

All right, who's next?

-No way. -Not me.

Boy, l sure wouldn't want to go up there and sing after someone that wonderful!

Who could possibly follow Amber?

l believe the gauntlet has been thrown down!

Will Lilly Truscott pick it up?

Give me that mike.

-You've got guts, kid. -That's not all l've got.

l got nerve! Hit it, Oliver!

l didn't know she had a voice like that.

-She sounds exactly like... -Shut up!

But she's amazing! Amazingly bad!

l got...

Spider!

Electrified, l'm on a wire

Getting together, we're on fire

What l said you heard

Now l got you spinning

Don't close your mind

The words l use are open...

-Yeah, you got nerve, all right. -Just no talent!

-Lilly! l am so sorry. -Come on. Let's just get out of here.

Lilly, hold up. What're you guys laughing at?

At least she had the guts to get up there.

Even though she did completely humiliate herself.

Thank you! Come on.

No, Oliver's right.

She did humiliate herself.

l think they heard it the first time! What kind of friend are you?

The kind l should've been all along.

Sure, Lilly doesn't have a great voice.

Most of us don't, but does that mean that we shouldn't sing?

Yeah. Now who wants to hear me?

Amber, let's not interrupt.

carry on, l beg you.

Singing shouldn't be about showing people up.

lt should be about having a great time no matter what you sound like.

And l should've known that.

Lilly, l'm sorry. l should've never messed with that CD.

Your mom would've loved it, just because it came from you.

Yeah, she is a big mush ball.

So, who wants to come up here and have a good time?

Go up there. Show them the real Lilly Truscott.

-l think she's pretty great. -Thanks.

Mr Corelli, l want a do over.

You got it.

Hey, Lilly! Don't forget your big finish.

With a new attitude everything can change

Make it how you want it to be

Staying mad, why do that? Give yourself a break

Laugh about it and you'll see

Life's what you make it

So let's make it rock

Make it rock...

Life's what you make it

So come on, come on, come on Everybody now...

So let's make it rock!

Congratulations, you're the best singer in the school.

Too bad nobody cares.

Yeah!

No.

Oh, yeah. We do this...