Original subtitles

"Cooking up some eggs"

"Frying them up in a pan"

"Gonna add a little cheddar"

"Because I'm a cheesy omelet man"

Good morning, Cheesy Omelet Man.

Good morning, my loving, beautiful family.

Eggs, bacon. Either there was a Dukes of Hazzard marathon on last night

or you just wrote a new Hannah song!

Aw, honey, you know me better than that,

if I'd have wrote a new song, there'd be cinnamon toast.

New song!

Cinnamon toast!

There's nothing like finally cracking a new song.

And this one was a bear.

I can't wait to hear it!

Let me go get Lucky Lulu.

Where's Lucky Lulu?

Lulu's like a lot of older California women,

she's having some work done on her neck.

That's okay.

We can just use, uh, Whammy-bar Wally.

He's wonesome.

Now, honey, you know I never play you a new song without Lulu.

Especially one that could be your biggest hit ever.

Biggest hit ever?

Okay, you at least got to tell me what it's about.

Breaking up? Making up?

Please don't let it be another song about my double life.

I mean, you might as well tattoo

"I'm really Miley Stewart" on my forehead.

Sorry, honey, you'll just have to wait.

Lulu won't be back until Monday.

And I won't be back until after I jog five miles.

Matter of fact,

make that five and a half.

All right, Daddy, whatever you say.

I'll wait because you want me to.

I love you!

All right, where'd that bacon- eating hillbilly hide my song?

Did you see how happy he was? This is great!

Now he'll finally let me have another party at the house.

Are you joking?

Remember the last time you had a party?

Hey, it was one itty-bitty little city-wide power outage.

They had to land a jumbo jet on the freeway.

And now those passengers have a great story to tell.

Gotcha!

Look, I've been begging for months and all I've heard was,

"Can't talk, got to finish the song.

Can't talk, got to finish the song. Ooh, fudgy buddy." "Can't talk, got to finish the song.

Can't talk, got to finish the song. Ooh, fudgy buddy."

Well, he's finished the song,

he's in a great mood, which means...

Max, the party animal is back!

Saturday night, my house!

This is awful.

So, are we smelling a hit?

I'm smelling something, but, uh,

I ain't sure it's a hit.

This songs stinks.

Oh no.

Oh, yes.

Take a whiff.

"Dang flabbit,

where's that rabbit

He's got a habit of running away

Hey, honey, where's that bunny

He took my money, that ain't okay

Hey, hey, hey, bunnay"

Well, it certainly... rhymes.

- With a good band... - Good band.

- Some backup vocals... - Backup vocals.

And it'll still be a song about bunnies!

Which could become an Easter classic.

Classic.

This is horrible.

I've never hated one of his songs before.

How am I gonna tell him?

Maybe you won't have to.

I mean, maybe he'll think about it, realize that it's horrible

and then fix it before he shows it to you.

Hey, everybody!

- Hey, Daddy! - Hey. Hi. What up?

Look at those abs. Sir. How's it going?

- Hey, Daddy! - Hey. Hi. What up?

- Hey, Daddy! - Hey. Hi. What up?

So, Daddy, how was your jog?

It was great!

But I keep thinking about that new song.

Really?

- What song? - Oh, you wrote a song?

Who knew? Interesting. Easter.

Uh, Island. Easter Island.

Uh, we're studying it at school.

Big statues. Nobody knows how they got there.

Weird.

Yeah, really weird!

So, so strange.

Ooh, strange.

I would ask what's going on, but then you'd tell me.

And why would I want that?

So, Daddy, uh, you were thinking about the song?

Nothing wrong with that just, uh, keep on thinking!

Please.

Yeah, well, you know how sometimes you write something

and then you take another look at it later

- and it's not as good as you thought? - Yeah?

Well, this ain't one of those times!

It isn't?

Are you sure?

Oh, I'm real sure.

I mean this song is great!

And I can't wait to see the look on your face

when I play it for you on Monday.

What are you gonna do?

Stick my head in the freezer.

Please defrost me when you find a cure for this song.

I will tell you what she's gonna do, all right?

She's gonna tell him she loves it.

Why? Because she's a wonderful daughter

who doesn't want to break her father's heart.

This is still about your party, right?

Look, Max has already invited fifty people

and reserved a deli platter in my name!

Oh, please tell me there's no raisins in the coleslaw.

Dude, you are not invited!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jackson's right.

He's worked so hard on this song and he's so proud of it.

I've got to tell him I love it.

You know what, Miley, it'll be okay.

So Hannah sings one clunker. Big deal.

Yeah and the video will be cute.

You surrounded by giant, dancing bunnies, right?

I'm the bunny who stole your money. Ooh, ooh.

- I'm not helping, am I? - No.

Miles, if it makes you feel any better,

I know this is kind of hard on you,

but my life...

it's so good right now!

Boo-ya! Yeah!

And you are still not invited. Ooh.

Got to tell Dad.

Got to tell Dad.

Dad?

Got to tell Dad.

It's true!

There's no place like home!

There's no place like home!

Stop it, Jackson. Be a man.

Dad?

Dad?

Whoa, look at that body slam!

Where's Dad?

He's still on his date.

Have to tell him the truth.

What?

Have to tell him the truth.

No.

Wait, what are you... Miles, what are you doing?

Hate that song.

Hate that song.

Oh, man.

Are you sleepwalking?

I'll take that as a yes.

Oh, sorry.

Come on, Miles.

Miley, wake up.

Come on, Miley, wakey, wakey.

Oh no, Dad.

Dad?

Hate that song.

- Got to tell Dad. - Uh, no, no, no.

Of course you do.

I'll take you to him. He's right under here!

No way you're blowing my party!

Jackson, what in the world?

Sh! Miley sleeping,

Jackson helping, thigh cramping.

And they wonder why I never bring my dates home.

Got to tell Dad.

Got to tell Dad.

Got to tell...

Jackson, what are you doing?

First of all, do you want to tell Dad the truth?

No, of course not!

Good. You're awake.

And you're ugly.

Now that we've covered the obvious,

what are you doing here?

You were sleepwalking and you almost told Dad that you hate his song.

Yeah, right.

You think some guy named Jimmy in your biology class is

"yum-alicious."

How do you know that?

You told me that an hour ago!

Look, this is just like that time you were five

and you lied about breaking Mom's favorite vase.

Remember? You felt so guilty,

you started sleepwalking and blabbing the truth about everything.

Remember?

Oh, no.

Uncle Earl never forgave me for telling his poker buddies he, uh,

hides aces in the folds of his belly.

You are not going to blow my party.

Hey, I'm doing the best I can!

Now you're going to do the best that I can.

Got to tell Dad.

Got to tell Dad.

Da...

One, two, cha, cha, cha.

I pulled the mullet, Mother, but it just wouldn't come off.

Miley, you haven't slept in two days.

You can't keep doing this. You've got to get some rest.

I know. But if I fall asleep at home

I'm not going to be able to stop myself from telling Daddy the truth.

And if I fall asleep anywhere else,

who knows what's going to spill out of my mouth!

Whoo! Speaking of something spilling out of your mouth,

somebody forgot to brush this morning.

Hey, what do you want from me?

I'm amazed I could even get myself dressed.

Love the new look, toots. Oh, sweet niblets! Wow, she is tired.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, she can sleep over at my house tonight.

Hey, Miley, you can... Miley?

Good morning, class.

Uh, Kunkle!

Uh, comma Ms.

Oken comma Oliver.

Truscott comma Lilly.

- Don't drag me into this. - Okay.

Oken, someday, years from now,

you may feel the urge to come back and visit me.

Please don't.

Miley. Miley, wake up. Wake up!

Who's talking?

You are, Skunkle.

In that awful prison warden voice of yours.

It is torture.

Yikes.

Excuse me. What did you say?

She said your voice sounds like a prison warden.

Oh, and it's torture.

I heard her.

Just trying to help.

I don't need your help.

What you need is to stop borrowing your grandmother's clothes.

Hey-o!

Wait! No, no, no. She doesn't mean it. She's sleepwalking.

And when she sleepwalks she can only tell the truth.

Truth. Got to tell Dad the truth.

Whoa!

I mean, look at her.

She'd never talk to you like that if she was awake.

She'd lie and say you look nice.

Hey, great top.

Last time she wore it, you said that if you polished a table

with it the table would punch you in the face.

I was kidding.

Tables can't punch.

Wake up!

Stewart, are you really asleep?

Are you really wearing those shoes?

Hey-o.

They're comfortable and I walk to work!

Why? Broom in the shop?

I'm laughing because it's so ridiculous.

You're-You're a lovely woman

and I'm surprised you haven't been married yet.

Yesterday you said it was because of her man hands.

Soft, supple man hands

is what-is what I meant.

Would you marry me, Karen?

All right, knock it off.

You're not all asleep.

- That's because you haven't started teaching yet. - Oh.

Okay, that's enough.

Miley, wake up.

Sorry. Where were we?

Well, we're in science and you're in trouble.

Principal's office. Now.

How bad was it?

Well, it started with "Skunkle"...

And made it all the way down to "man hands."

Thank you very much.

I'm thinking it's time to tell my daddy the truth.

You think?

Yo, Jackson. I'm bringing a few extra people to your party.

Sorry, dude, there's no... Wayne. Hey.

Yeah, dude, of course. Bring whoever you want.

Uh, by the way, love the t-shirt.

"If you can read this you're about to be hit."

You're a funny little dude.

Thanks, man.

But if your party stinks I'm gonna rearrange your face.

As well you should.

Ah! Don't read the shirt, don't read the shirt, don't read the shirt.

Dude, I cannot believe the buzz on this party!

Girls are saying hi to me just because I know you!

How did you get your dad to say yes to this?

Well, as you know, it's just a little matter of psychology,

- timing, and a little sprinkle... - And you haven't asked him yet,

have you?

Okay, technically, no.

But I'm on my way to ask him right now.

And trust me, he's going to be in a great mood.

He better be.

You cancel this party, you're going to spend the rest of high school

eating lunch with the Chess Club!

You know how many hot girls are in the Chess Club? Zero.

Well, I thought your girlfriend was in the Chess Club.

That's why I need this party!

Hi, honey.

Really, really badly.

Dad?

Dad?

Just out of the shower! Down in a few!

You take your time, you brilliant songwriter.

You hero and role model.

Whatever you broke,

fix it or bury it in the yard.

Yes! Yes! He's got Lucky Lulu back,

he's blow drying.

It's a perfect storm of Dad happiness!

Dad.

Dad, I got to talk to you.

Oh no, here we go again! Miley, stop!

Jackson, I'm sorry about your party, but I can't do this anymore.

I've got to tell Daddy the truth.

No! No, no, no, you don't!

You're just sleepwalking!

Come on, Miles, ups'a-daisy!

Stop that! Stop it. I'm awake!

Of course you are. Now, come here.

Jackson...

Look, I know you're supposed to wake a sleepwalker gently,

but you leave me no choice.

Desperate times call for loud cookware.

I'm still awake

and you're still an idiot.

What the Sam heck is going on down there?

- Daddy, I... - Nothing! Nothing, nothing.

We're just cooking you dinner, handsome!

Keep working on the 'do, we'll see you in a few!

Please, please, please, wake up!

I'm still awake,

you're still an idiot,

and now my ear is full of spit.

Sorry.

Let me rinse it for you.

Do you believe I'm awake now?

Yes, I do.

Listen, Jackson.

Awake or asleep,

I'm still telling Dad the truth.

No, you can't!

Look, my reputation and the current arrangement of my face depends on it.

Maybe next time your face

shouldn't throw a party without getting permission first!

Listen, Jackson, I'm sorry,

but I respect Dad too much to lie to him.

Miley...

No!

Jackson, this song is a joke.

It's embarrassing.

And no matter how much it hurts, I gotta tell him that I found it

and it's the worst song he's ever written.

Miley!

It may be the worst song ever written.

I did say "may be."

I heard it.

I just can't believe it.

Dad,

do you hate me?

No, of course I don't hate you.

I hate it that you hate the song, but

I was just so sure you'd love it.

You were?

I mean... you were?

I don't get it.

You've never hated one of my songs before.

I suppose I could take another look at it.

What was it that bothered you?

The music,

the lyrics,

the message?

What message?

"Dang flabbit, where's my rabbit? He took my money."

What are you trying to say,

bunnies can't be trusted?

Dad, this isn't funny.

Come on, kids don't want to hear that stuff.

They love bunnies!

Yeah,

and so did you when you were five-years-old.

That's when you wrote that song.

Bunny man say what?

Well, actually you came up with the words

but I wrote it down for you.

But you signed it with that little booger right there.

What was it doing in your pocket?

I keep it with me for when I get stuck.

Give me a little bit of inspiration...

and a giggle every now and then.

Kind of reminds me of the good old days.

You would have known that if you'd have just asked.

Aw, man.

Wait a minute.

You mean there's a good song?

There sure is.

This is it? You want to hear it?

Do bunnies steal money?

I am loving it already!

You ain't even heard it, son.

Sure, I have.

In here.

Please be good, please be good, please be good.

All right, here it goes.

All right.

And I believe I smell a Grammy!

Thanks, Daddy.

My pleasure, bud.

That was great, dude.

Well, thanks for coming!

Glad you guys had a good time.

Especially you, Wayne!

Watch out for that branch!

Or, just ignore it and walk right through it.

Who needs a helmet, huh?

Whoa!

In the light it looks a lot worse.

Well, that's okay, son.

I'll just call the maid service.

Well, thanks, Dad!

You know that is one of the many reasons

why you're still my hero,

my role model, my...

Just a second.

Hello?

Clean it up!

Who is this?

I think you've got the wrong number. Don't call here anymore.