Original subtitles

Wow. Would you look at that?

l know. Lilly's the queen of backwash.

l bet he's sucking up bits of her burger right now.

This is a big moment for Lilly,

and if you had a romantic bone in your body,

you'd be able to see that.

Hey, l have eyes. Okay, look.

He just said something funny. She laughed. Big whoop.

She's not laughing 'cause he's funny.

She's laughing 'cause he's cute.

Boy brains.

You might as well scoop them out and store nuts up there.

So girls laugh at me 'cause l'm cute.

No, girls laugh at you 'cause you nod like a chicken

and you fall over things.

l do not.

Hey, what up, baby?

Oh, my gosh. l don't believe it.

What?

He just asked her to be his girlfriend.

- How can you tell? - Wait for it.

He just asked me to be his girlfriend!

They have no idea how cute they are.

- You are so cute. - You're cuter.

- No, you're cuter. - No, you're cuter.

Yeah, you're both adorable. Can you pass the salt?

l made you a mix CD to celebrate

the nine days we've spent together.

lt's right there next to the pepper.

The soundtrack of our love.

Help me out here, people. l'm chewing on cardboard here.

You make me so happy, Lilly-pad.

Not as happy as you make me, Lukie-Wookie.

l think l'm gonna pukie-wookie.

come on!

l don't want to say goodbye.

You hang up first.

No, you. No, you.

l'm getting another call.

- Hello? - Hang up already!

Okay.

l gotta go.

No, you. No, you.

No, me.

Hey. That was rude.

You want to talk rude?

This is the first time we've walked home together in nine days,

and you spent the whole time going, ''You see that cloud, too?

''Let's make that our cloud. l love our cloud.

''l just ran into a tree. You ran into a tree, too?''

Well, l can't help it. l just like him so much.

l know, and l'm happy for you. l am.

But l never see you any more.

Well, you could've sat with us at lunch today.

l did.

Really? Are you sure?

My point exactly.

l'm sorry. Hey, how about l come over Saturday,

and we do a movie night, just like we used to?

You're just doing that 'cause you feel sorry for me.

Well...

But l'll take it.

Go ahead.

Hi.

Really?

You're right. Our cloud is floating away.

Bye, cloud.

l'll miss you.

Why? Why? Why? What did l do?

Rico, what happened?

We were robbed.

You're kidding. How bad were we hit?

Look! Third one down, just below the red ones.

They're gone!

A pair of sunglasses?

This is tragic, and they were so young.

Jackson, this is serious.

No, dude, you're right. l'll call Malibu PD,

eyewear division.

You don't get it, do you? lt's not just the sunglasses.

They've stolen Rico's honour, and this will not stand!

Rico, what are you doing here so early?

Just making sure my new security system works.

What security system?

Rico!

That new security system.

Let this be a warning

to all who dare challenge the power of the mighty Rico!

??

So, y'all excited about movie night?

Yeah, and just to let you know, Dad,

you are more than welcome to skoodle your boodle out of here.

Well, you don't have to worry about that, darling,

'cause l'm gonna be out in the garage rearranging some tools

and listening to my police scanner.

That's the way a man spends Saturday night.

You really miss race car season, don't you, Daddy?

Yeah.

This time of year, all they got on Tv is those stupid dance shows.

- Hi, hi. - Hey.

What's going on? You're not in your movie jammies.

Right. About that...

l mean that's a cute outfit,

but it looks like you're about to go out with...

Lucas.

Hey, Miley, thanks for the invite. l brought caramel corn.

Great, 'cause l only had enough for two.

Can l talk to you in the kitchen?

Just you and me? Alone? Are you sure?

Miley, you're so funny.

Look, l'm sorry, but he called at the last minute,

and l told him l couldn't talk to him, but then he said,

''You are talking,'' and then l laughed,

and then he laughed, and then l laughed...

And to think that l missed out on this yuk-fest,

emphasis on the yuck.

You could've called to warn me.

- Well, l was afraid you'd yell. - l am yelling.

Yes, but you're doing it quietly.

l cannot believe you would be this selfish.

You are the worst best friend ever.

Who's that?

Special delivery from your worst best friend ever.

Come on in, Derek.

You set me up on a blind date?

That is the most

wonderful thing you have ever done for me.

Well, hello, there.

Hi. l'm Lucas's cousin, Derek.

Yes, you are, and l'm Miley.

And l'm in my movie jammies.

??

You sure this movie isn't too scary for you guys?

Not when l have you to protect me.

lt's just a movie. lt's just a movie. lt's just a movie.

One of the worst dates of my life.

Sorry.

Something's in there. Something's in there.

There's something's in...

l knew it! l knew it!

l didn't know we were having a party.

Correction. The worst date of my life.

Hey, Jackson. Can l get a hot dog?

l don't know. How long do you have?

What do you mean?

Please enter employee identification code.

Jackson Stewart, employee number 000000000001 .

- Welcome. - Jackson Stewart.

Please enter your hot dog access code.

Here we go.

All right.

We've got chips,

churros, fruit-fresh, fruit-frozen, fruit-smoothie,

gum-bubble, gum-sugarless, hamburgers, hoagies and hot dogs.

- Finally. - Yeah, you'd think.

lnvalid entry. Wiener denied.

Dang flabbit! l'm getting sick of this.

You know what?

Here. There's your hot dog.

Now, rope me, baby.

Activate trap door.

What?

Jackson, are you okay?

Get Rico!

And a doctor!

So Derek Hanson actually jumped into your lap?

Like a little girl.

''lt's in the house! lt's in the house!''

Yeah, l was picking caramel corn

out of my hair for about two days.

How could Lilly do this to me?

You know, she was just trying to

hook you up so you didn't feel left out.

Sure, it wasn't the one-on-one time you wanted,

but it was still a very caring gesture.

Wow, Oliver.

- That was insightful... - Yeah.

- ...smart and sensitive. - Yeah.

What happened to your boy brain?

l spent last night checking out my mom's chick magazines.

l learned that l'm an autumn,

capri pants are the best for my body shape,

and new love, it's a bright flame

that eventually dims into a warm, comfortable glow.

Well, Lucas is her first real boyfriend.

And she does seem to have achieved

a new level of emotional satisfaction.

Okay, now you're seriously weirding me out.

Just talk to her at lunch.

And the velvet belt, so last season.

She hasn't said a word to me all day.

She wouldn't even look at me in English,

and when she looked at me in Biology, daggers.

You've got a boyfriend who's crazy about you.

lt's gotta be tough for her.

You're so great. l can't believe you're all mine.

Well, believe it. You're the only one for me.

Well, aren't you a busy boy.

Lilly, l really need to talk to you.

- Come on. - One second.

Miley, l'm really sorry about the other night, and l called you...

Don't worry about it. l forgive you,

but l have to tell you something.

Lucas...

Lucas is cheating on you.

- What? - Lucas is cheating on you.

- What? - Lucas is cheating on you.

What? And... And...

And... And... You...

lt's true.

Yeah, tell her, Lu-kiss-every-girl-in-school.

Lilly, l feel horrible about this.

A little late in the day for that, bub.

l'm so sorry that

your best friend is so threatened by our relationship,

she'd lie to break us up.

That's right. Straight from the... Cheater say what?

So it's not true?

Of course not.

Come on, Lilly. Who are you going to believe?

That lip-lock liar or your best friend?

Come on, Lucas.

Now this is why y'all don't get dates.

Hello, there.

Miley, what are you doing here?

l just came to tell you, you were right.

- Really? - l was jealous. But not of you.

Of her with you. l want to be with you.

l want to find puffy little clouds with you.

Miley, l... Miley...

No, no, no. Don't speak.

Just kiss me. No, l'll kiss you.

Hey, whoa. Nice try,

but l think you and l both know the kind of guy l really am.

??

What was l thinking?

He is never going to hit on Lilly's best friend.

You couldn't have thought of that five minutes ago?

l'm sorry. l mean, l had to try something.

it's not like l can just put on some disguise and...

Boy, am l stupid.

Does anybody work here?

Wow. When you apologise, you don't fool around.

This is the coolest restaurant in town.

Well, it's the least l could do after the way l acted.

What's the deal? l've been waiting an hour for a table here.

Well, when l have a table, l'll tell you.

Really?

You know what?

l completely forgot, it's my little girl's birthday.

Can you help us out? Come on.

No, it isn't.

??

You know what? l got the wrong girl. lt's her birthday.

How did l screw that up?

Mine was two months ago.

Do you want to eat?

l'm sorry, but this is what happens

when Daddy calls at the last minute.

Hannah!

Phillipe, l am so sorry l called at the last minute!

Don't give it a second thought. Table for Miss Montana!

Are you kidding?

- lt's Hannah Montana! - But he's Larry David.

He created Seinfeld and curb Your Enthusiasm.

Sorry.

Face it, Dad, she's bigger than you.

l bet Uncle Jerry could get us in.

Uncle Jerry?

Why couldn't you say it was your birthday? Come on!

l'm just so glad we're not fighting any more,

and, you know, once you get to know Lucas,

l know you guys are going to be really close friends.

l feel close to him already.

Dude, that's Hannah Montana,

and she's totally checking me out.

You're kidding! Where?

l'm sorry that l'm late, Lisa.

Yes, l'm leaving the shack right now.

Come on, baby. All right, bye.

Alarm activated.

Keys.

lntruder alert. Activate deep freeze.

Oh, no.

Jackson! l got the security alert. What did they steal?

All the heat in my body.

Now that is cool.

That's it, Rico.

l quit.

Let's not do anything hasty.

Here's a couple of hot dogs on me.

So warm.

And l'm gonna need you to sign these.

- What are they? - Nothing.

lt's just some release forms saying l'm not responsible

for any bodily injuries, emotional trauma...

Rico, why are you doing this?

l mean, you spent a fortune on a security system

because of a $ 7 pair of sunglasses,

and all it's done is kill your business

l don't want anyone thinking they can

take advantage of me because of my size.

l don't care how much it costs,

no human being will ever rip Rico off again.

l don't think humans are your problem.

l hope he enjoys it.

That hot dog cost me $ 11,000.

l am so sorry. Great hair.

Did you see that? That was a move.

Not just a move. That was a hair-touch move.

You're right. She wants me.

lt's too bad l'm going with Lilly.

l got two words for you, my brother. Guy code.

We are men, and we are hunters,

and what happens in the jungle, it stays in the jungle.

Dude, you rock.

Hey, if things work out, l'll hook you up with her friend.

Fingers crossed.

Look, Justin Timberlake's eating the same shrimp as me.

Hey, Justin. Great shrimp, huh?

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

You've got your flirty face on. Who is he?

ls it that guy, or that guy,

or Lucas, or Oliver, or...

You're despicable!

Lilly, l had to do something to show you l wasn't lying.

you've shown me is that we're no longer friends.

l am leaving, and l'm taking the shrimp.

No, no, no. Lilly,

l was just trying to protect you from getting hurt.

The only one who's hurting me is you.

You just can't accept the fact that Lucas really cares about me.

Oh, yeah?

Then why is he coming over here to flirt with Hannah?

He's coming over here to tell you

to stop making googly eyes at him,

because he has a girlfriend.

Hi, Hannah. l'm Lucas.

l noticed you looking at me, and l...

Go ahead, just say it.

Yeah, tell her how you really feel.

- Well, the truth is... - Excuse me, Miss Fontana.

l have your biggest fan right here.

- Grandma. - lt's okay, sweetheart.

She's a celebrity. This is why they go out in public.

Don't go anywhere. This will just take a second.

- There you go, sweetie. - Thank you.

- You were saying? - Well...

l have a camera right here. Let's take pictures. Okay.

- l'm kind of in the middle of... - No, no, sweetie pie.

lt'll just take a second. Okay? All right, now.

- Smile. - Other way.

??

Other way.

- There you go, Grandma. - That's so sweet.

No, the lighting isn't good in here.

lt's better in the bathroom.

Let's go. Come on.

- Grandma! - Grandma!

Don't whine.

Just tell her what you were gonna say.

Yeah.

What was that you were gonna say?

Could you just give her my number and tell her to call any time?

Why?

To tell her you have a girlfriend? 'Cause, you know,

you look like the kind of guy

who has a girlfriend he really, really likes.

- Actually l've got two. - Two?

Yeah, but l'd dump them both for Hannah.

So funny.

Well, in that case,

l know Hannah would want me to give you a little something, too.

- Sweet. - Yeah.

Yeah, it is sweet.

- You really got that boy back good. - That was just Lola.

Wait till Lilly gets a hold of him.

Lilly, l'm really sorry.

Yeah, l'm sorry l didn't believe you.

Man, boys can really mess things up, can't they?

Yeah,

and you can't live with them, can't eat with them.

Well, what are we gonna do next time one of us has a boyfriend?

The only thing we can do. Trust each other.

- Deal? - Deal.

Oh, my goodness.

lt's Natalie Portman.

Lannah, be a doll, take our picture.

You know, you're not as cute in person.