Original subtitles

Thank you! You guys rock!

Keep on listening, and l'll see you guys when l get back

from my very first European tour!

l know! l can't wait.

Swiss chocolate, ltalian shoes and French boys!

The closest she's coming to Paris is Paris, Texas.

Thank you, guys! l'll see you all next time. Bye!

Nailed it!

And now,

for the main event,

the big toe!

Dang it, Jackson, l hate toenail day!

Hey, l put a note on the refrigerator.

lf you choose not to wear your protective goggles,

l can't be held responsible.

Well, here's something you can be held responsible for.

Looks like this letter's from your school.

Oh, man.

Oh, boy.

Did l tell you how great your hair looks?

lt's like a field of wheat.

How do you keep it so lush?

lt's about Miley.

And l use a volumising mousse,

but just a little dab, right here in the palm.

Sorry, Dad. l only care if l'm in trouble.

London, England, Paris, France Watch me do the Europe dance

Europe, Europe, Europe We're all going to Europe

Yeah, about that. l just got this letter from school...

And somebody's grades are slipping again?

Jackson, Jackson, Jackson. What are we going to do with you, boy?

-Miles, you... -No, son, let her go on.

How would you handle this, Miley?

Well, as much as it pains me,

l'd have to say, no grades, no Europe.

l'm gonna miss you, buddy.

Then again, what do l know? l'm just a kid!

Have l told you your hair looks great today?

l already tried field-of-wheat. Good luck.

So lush.

come on!

How could your dad cancel the European tour

just because of one bad grade?

Well, l'm guessing it went something like,

''Bud, you're not going,''

and then something about your Uncle Earl's feet.

That's so weird. lt's like you were there.

Look at this.

English muffins, ltalian sausages, Swiss cheese.

Why are you all taunting me?

Sorry. A little cranky, skipped breakfast.

Most important meal of the day. Carry on.

Man, your dad's being so unfair!

l already bought this beret. See? So cute!

Listen, guys, it's not my dad's fault. We had a deal.

School always comes first, and if l can't get at least a B in biology,

the closest we're going to get to Paris is French toast.

Hold up, people.

lf you need a B, all you have to do is ace the midterm tomorrow.

How did she miss that? No wonder she's flunking biology.

lf l could ace the midterm,

l wouldn't have a problem, now would l?

And if l stay friends with you, l'll never have chest hair, will l?

So just come on over to my house after school.

l'd be more than happy to help you with your Spanish.

What does that mean?

lt means we have a lot of work to do.

Thanks so much, Jackson. l really appreciate it.

l really, really appreciate it.

-No problemo. -Problemo.

Wait, l know this one!

-Okay, we'll just go over it later. -l can't wait.

-Hey, Thor, what's up? -Jackson, it's old Snowball.

The landlord says we got to get rid of him,

and how can l do that? l love him so much.

l mean old Snowball, not the landlord. Although he seems very nice.

-l need a hug! -Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Dude, in California,

when a guy says, ''What's up?'' the other guy says, ''Not much.''

And then we move on.

Thor, you dumb bunny.

-Okay, let's try it again. -Okay, good.

-Hey, Thor, what's up? -Jackson, the landlord says...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dude! We also don't hug.

We occasionally slap butts, but only on the football field.

l owe the janitor an apology.

Look, man, if you need a place to park the old guy,

he can stay at my house.

Snowball, you hear that? We found you a home!

Come on, boy!

What, you brought your dog to school?

Snowball's not a dog.

Or a cow. Stop showing off. You're not fooling anyone.

Miley, we've got the plan.

But if you don't like it, it was all her idea.

-Way to sell it, Oliver. -Sorry.

l only have one chest hair, and l need it for gym class.

Just ask the smartest kid in class to tutor you.

Are you kidding? The smartest kid in class is...

-How can you not get this? -l'm sorry.

lt's just your data suggests 1 0% of human genes

vary in the number of copies of specific DNA segments.

Exactly! This isn't brain surgery!

Are you serious? You want me to ask Rico?

Come on, you guys, it's not like he's the only kid with a brain

in this class.

Okay, fine.

-Oh, Rico. -Hey, bubble brain. How's it going?

Smart, funny and...

And dead-on about that bubble brain.

But just in biology. Other than that, you're as sharp as a tick.

-That's ''tack.'' -You see?

Good thing you two are pretty.

Okay. l'm just going to come right out and ask you.

-You need help in biology. -How'd you know that?

Please. Put together the grades from your last four quizzes,

and they spell Duh-Duh-Duh-F.

One of those was a Duh-Duh-Duh-plus.

Whatever. l'll help you, if you help me in another class.

How about them apples? The genius needs my help.

So, what can l do for you?

Higher.

Higher.

No, no, sorry. Lower.

-Yeah. That's good. -Rico, that's where l started.

l've been standing like this for two hours.

My neck is cramping.

And this wig is really heavy!

Don't worry about it. My masterpiece is complete.

All right.

Finally. Now...

-What's this? -An A-plus.

-What was l here for? -l needed someone to hold the globe.

What about this stupid outfit?

That was just a little something for Rico.

l'm gonna give Rico a little something if you don't teach me some biology.

Okay, okay. Fine.

l'll give you the secret to my success.

-But share this with no one. -Yeah, sure, whatever, teach me.

-Okay. -Okay. Open the book.

-Check. -Look at the page.

Check.

-Close the book. -What?

That's it! Good luck on the test.

You didn't teach me anything.

Don't you have a photographic memory like me?

No.

Then you're on your own, toots.

Wait a minute! Come back here!

Okay.

Not again!

At bedtime, he loves it when you read Goodnight Moon.

But don't show him where the mouse is,

just let him find it.

Dude, l got it.

Now if you don't mind, l've got myself a little study date with Becky, so...

You mean Becky with the bad breath?

No, not her.

You mean bucktooth Becky, the human bottle-opener.

She scares me.

Although she did come in handy on that field trip.

No, no, no. Becky from Spanish class.

-You mean brainless Becky. -Yeah. Brainless, bodacious Becky.

What?

l'll be right there!

-Use the back door. -Okay.

-Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.

Dude, just get out of here already!

lf he gets too cold, here's his little parka,

but don't zip it up.

He likes to do it himself.

Likes to zip it himself. Right.

You're such a good teacher. l just have one question.

How do you say ''kiss me'' in Spanish?

That's easy. That's...

-Bucktooth Becky. -What?

-Just ignore him. -Okay.

Becky with the bad breath.

Why is he saying that?

He's a bird. He just repeats what he hears.

Shut up!

Well, so where'd he hear it?

-Brainless Becky. Brainless Becky. -What?

No, no, l... l didn't say that.

l said, ''Brainless, bodacious Becky.''

-Excuse me? -Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye is right. You blew it, jerk. -No, wait! You don't understand!

''Bodacious'' is Spanish for ''smart.''

From the Latin root braindacious.

l want my mullet back

My messy cage and my 8-track

My swinging perch and my water bowl

Now Rob and Snowball gonna rock and roll

Dad! Could you keep it down in there? l'm trying to study.

l'm sorry, honey.

All right, Snowball, we gonna take five, but when l get back,

l'm teaching you Wanna Be Your Joe.

-Robby rocks. -And don't you forget it.

l love that bird.

Ribs attach to sacrum... No, no, no.

Sternum, which attaches to a bone that ends in ''illa'' or...

Or ''uno'' or ''Oprah.''

Yeah, that's it, it's my Oprah,

and l'm a doprah who's never going to Europa!

Now hang in there, honey. You'll get it.

No, l won't. The biology midterm's tomorrow.

There's 206 bones in the human body. lt's not like l can learn them like

some new Hannah dance.

Yeah, you do pick up on those pretty fast.

Yeah, that's 'cause it's fun.

-Trust me, biology ain't. -lsn't.

l'm getting a B in English, Dad, that's not the problem.

The problem is, is my biology teacher

doesn't stand in front of the class going...

Tibia, fibula, clavicle, rib

We call this the humerus and that's no fib

-Why can't it be that easy? -That's a good question.

-l thought of it first! -l thought of it first!

-No, you didn't! -No, you didn't!

-Yes, l did. -Didn't.

-Did! -Didn't!

Yes, he did. Yes, he did.

Like l said, l love that bird.

And now l take it home with the parietal bone

lt might be crazy but l learn that way

Temporal and frontal, too and now l'm finally through

That make 206 l found a way that clicks

We're going to England We're going to France

We're going to Europe

Because she learned how to memorise all the stuff

Now word

Bodacious Becky. Bodacious Becky. Bodacious Becky.

This is exactly why you're going back to Thor's, you stupid birdbrain!

-Morning, Stewart. -Stupid birdbrain.

Detention, Stewart.

lt wasn't even me, it was...

You know what?

Why don't you just drop dead?

Oh, no! What did l do?

Come on, buddy.

Speak to me. Say something. Anything!

Becky has bad breath?

l was going to give you another chance, you jerk!

Oh, no, no! No, wake up! Come back to me, man.

Don't fly into the light!

Hey, buddy.

What's Snowball's cage doing here?

l brought him to school

'cause l've just grown so fond of him.

-You got him in there? -Yeah.

He was cold.

How you doing in there, buddy?

Great. Bye.

Okay.

l was going to bring him back to you 'cause he ruined my date,

and then he got me detention, but then l yelled at him,

and then the next thing l knew it was bye-bye, birdie.

You're playing dead again, aren't you?

Aren't you, you silly little bird?

Ta-da.

Sweet niblets, l've been punk'd by a parrot.

Who does Daddy love?

-Snowball! -Yes, l do.

All right, class. Eyes on your own paper.

No talking.

-Oken? -Yes, ma'am.

-l said no talking! -Right!

You have 45 minutes. Good luck, everyone.

Done!

Here you go, teach.

Sorry l took so long, l just wanted to double-check my answers.

Don't worry, lollipop. You can always marry money.

Okay, here we go. Question number one.

''Name the three bones that make up the arm. ''

All right, that's the humerus, the radius and the...

Hey, no problem, Miley, just dance it out.

When l milk the cows on Uncle Earl's farm

l use the ulna bone that is in my arm

Moo-ya!

Stewart, are you sending signals? l won't have cheating in my class!

l'm not cheating. Really, l'm just taking the test.

Well, then take it without all this.

-But l... -Will be glad to, Miss Kunkle.

Took the words right out of your mouth, didn't l?

Yes, ma'am.

Yanked them out like a hungry raccoon in a doughnut shop Dumpster.

A lot of people must find those country sayings charming.

l'm from Detroit. We don't find anything charming.

Now sit still.

l'm dead.

There. See what you can do about that.

The Karkovski Entrapment.

Clever, Rico.

But not clever enough when you're dealing with Rico!

Miss Kunkle, could you please ask the Rico twins to be quiet?

Some of us are still trying to finish our test.

Actually, Stewart, it's only you.

You have two minutes left.

No pressure, 1 :58...

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

Thank you.

She can't do it without dancing. We have to distract Kunkle.

Way ahead of you.

You want a paper-cut, bit-my-tongue, or a nosebleed?

Nosebleed is my favourite.

Well, lean back because you're in the splashing zone.

Oh, man! lt's a nosebleed!

-lt's a gusher! -lt's a gusher, that's what it is.

-Look, everyone, it's a gusher! -Oken, Oken, honestly!

Paper cuts, bitten tongues and now nosebleeds.

We should put you in a helmet.

With the parietal bone it might be crazy

-Stewart! -Leg cramp.

l just need to, you know, shake it off with some dance steps.

That's it.

l warned you about cheating. Your test is over.

But l'm not cheating.

l know the answers, and l can prove it if l can move it.

l suggest you move it down to the principal's office.

Just go down the hall, make a left, then a right,

when you see your brother, you're there.

Everybody knows the bones just had to find a way

Everybody knows what l'm talking about

That's how l'll get an A

-Stewart, l thought l told you... -Just give her a chance! Please.

My bod has many parts and this is where it starts

Phalanges, l have ten and metatarsals then

l got some tarsals, too l'll put them in my shoe

She's telling the truth

The fibula is next according to my text

Then comes the tibia that ain't no fib-ia

And now l'm up to my knee yeah, yeah, yeah

That's the patella to me

We're doing the bone dance you study the answers

Again and again until l get it right

We're doing the bone dance you dance and you learn it

And we won't mess up this test

We'll get it perfect

Come on, everybody! Move those femurs.

Yeah, by the look of these tests,

you losers need all the help you can get.

We're doing the bone dance you dance and you learn it

And now l take it home with the parietal bone

lt might be crazy but we learn that way

Temporal and frontal, too and now we're finally through

That makes 206 l found a way that clicks

Bone thugs in the house

We're doing the bone dance you study the answers

Again and again until l get it right

We're doing the bone dance you dance and you learn it

And we won't mess up this test

We'll get it perfect Word!

That's it, Stewart!

-l'm going to get the principal. -What?

l want you to show him that dance.

lt's the best study technique l've ever seen!

By the way you got an A

Word!

-We're going to Europe! -We're going to Europe!

Give me some metacarpal love!

We're doing the bone dance

Study the answers

What?

That song. Those moves.

Your voice.

lt all reminds me of some famous singer.

Kelly Clarkson?

Hilary Duff?

Jay-Z!

l got it! Hannah Montana!

Hannah Montana! You old joker, you're so...

You're right, what was l thinking?

This bubble brain could never pull off something like that.

Yeah, what were you thinking?

We're talking nothing upstairs, if you know what l mean.

Yeah, look. Oliver, hey, l can see you!

-l can see you, too. Hi, Lilly. -Hey!