Original subtitles

Hannah Montana, you're on in two minutes.

All right now, shake the nerves out. Yes, get

them out. Now. Now, loosen up the throat. Booow!

Booow! From the bottom to the top.

Yag, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Ah, ah, ah, ah! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Good to go.

Remember when I started coaching you when you

were embarrassed to do that? I miss those days.

Hannah!

I am so happy you guys are here, are you having fun?

Tons of. Except there's this weird girl in your dressing room

who keeps sticking her tongue in the chocolate fountain.

She looks like my dog in a rain puddle.

Hannah!

You know her?

Traci and Evan, this is my friend, um...

Lola Luftnagle. Daughter of Oil Baron Rudolf Luftnagle,

sister of socialites Bunny and Kiki Luftnagle,

cousin of... but you can call me Lola. Strawberry?

Oops! My bad.

Yes, it is.

Soooo, are you guys gonna hang back stage?

Oh, that'd be so cool. We can hang together.

But, then, who would sit in our seats?

Good point. And it is getting a little crowded back here.

I know what you mean. Who let some of these people backstage?

Tell me about it. Well, hasta la pasta.

What a loser.

They seem nice. Maybe I should go with them.

Nooo! Because you're my good luck charm.

My chocolate covered good luck charm.

That's embarrassing.

Oh, no, no one noticed. I'm gonna need another towel.

Okay, so just stay right here where I can see you and no one else will.

Just pretend those little feet are nailed to the ground.

Hannah Montana to the stage. It's showtime.

Okay. Nailed right there. Okay. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na! Booow! Yang. Wang.

Don't worry, Hannah. Lola will be right here for you.

The bathroom's over here,

Ms. Stefani.

Gwen Stefani! Gwen, wait up. Babe, I'll go with you. Gweni? Gwendola?

Let's hear it, San Diego, for Hannah Montana!

Wake up!

Darling, sometimes I wish you came with a snooze alarm. So, what's this all about?

Lilly. I don't know what to say to her.

I mean, I don't want to hurt her feelings but, she was so embarrassing backstage.

Well, how bad was it?

Let's just say Lilly made a little unscheduled trip

last night to Dork Flats, lowa. Population: her.

Come on, Mile, Lilly's

just not used to being

backstage. I'm sure next time, she'll...

Won't follow Gwen Stefani all the way into the bathroom

and ask her to sign her protective seat cover?

It ain't funny. Dad, you don't know what it's like

to have someone you love

embarrass you all the time.

I think I do.

Hello? Lilly landing in three-two-one.

That concert last night

was so much fun.

I had so much fun.

Did you have so much fun?

I had fun! Did you see that dreamy boy in the third row? Wooo!

We don't sound like that! And he was in the second row.

Come on, people. I make pancakes with that milk!

Oh, the Hannah line! It's always somebody so cool! Let me get it, please!

No, no, no, I'll get it. Yo-la!

Hey, superstar.

Hey, Trace, what's going on?

We're throwing a little birthday bash for Kelly tonight.

Kelly! Kelly Clarkson? I can't believe I'm actually going to Kelly's partaaay.

Trace, hold on a sec. I'm not sure if I can bring anybody, Lilly.

Well, ask her.

Ask her. Right. I should…ask her.

Now.

So, Trace, I can't bring anybody, right?

Sure. Kelly said you can bring anybody you want.

Trace, it's Lola, I'll see you there! Oh my gosh, I can't believe

I'm actually going to a big, Hollywood party! Excuse me.

Hannah, I have a micro problem.

I know, but Lilly... Lola is a really great once you get to know her. Right. Okay. Bye.

Lilly's not invited, is she?

What do I do now, Dad? Look. And that's before the party.

I just wish there was some type of magic spell which

could stop people from acting like total geeksicles!

Me, too, honey. Me, too.

Babe alert, eleven o'clock.

Woo! Older woman checking me out.

In your dreams, Oken.

Normally, yes, but...

She's only looking at you because you're sitting next to me.

Watch and learn, boys. But don't applaud, it throws off my timing.

Please pretend to like me, those guys are watching.

Oh, I don't have to pretend. You're cute.

Really?

Yes you are. You're just the cutest little boy.

Look at that face. And those chubby, chubby cheeks!

Not helping!

I'm sorry, let me make it all better. Do you want some candy?

No, I don't want any candy. What kind is it?

Yuck it up, boys, I got nougat on the first date.

Now it's time for a real man. It's Rico time.

Yeah, it's Rico's bedtime. Prepare to cry yourself to sleep.

Hi. Please pretend to like me, my boss's kid is watching.

But I do like you.

Oh!

I'm Nina.

Jackson.

Look, I don't mean to be pushy...

No, please, push. I like pushy. Pushy's good.

I'm a student at the Malibu School of Beauty and I

was just wondering if I could borrow your head.

What?

Well, it's just that your hair is so fantastic and I really need someone

to practice on and I'd just give anything to get my hands on it.

Well, today's your lucky day.

Anything is exactly my price.

Here, have a seat.

How do I do it?

You got me.

Or, I got you.

Oh! Oh! Wow. That's... that's, uh... that's-that's interesting.

I'm so sorry. My parents were right, I don't

have what it takes to be a beautician.

No, no, of course you do. Don't worry. We'll fix this. We'll fix this, right?

Yeah. Let me just go home and practice on my

dog one more time. I'll see you tomorrow.

Par-tay, par-tay, par-tay! Par-tay, par-tay, parr-tay!

Everybody now! Par-tay, par-tay, part... hey! What's wrong?

Lilly, we have to talk.

Well, let's talk on the way to the par-tay.

No, Lilly, we have to talk now.

Why? What's the matter?

Okay. You know how we promised to always be honest with each other?

Yeah.

No matter how hard it may be.

You trying to tell me that this shirt does not go with this hair?

Okay, I'm just gonna come right out and say this because

you're my friend, Lilly, and I owe you that much.

The truth is... the party's been canceled.

Hannah, I've been looking all over for you. What are you doing out here?

I'm waiting for my dad to come pick me up.

But Kelly's not even here yet.

I know. I guess I'm not really in the party mood.

Okay, love you, but you're downing my vibe. T-T-Y-L.

Hello?

So, whatcha doing?

Lilly? Um... I'm not doing anything. Nothing.

Just, just studying. I mean, no party. Just me. Party of one.

Oh, what's that?

Oh. That's just Jackson playing his stereo too

loud. Jackson, turn it down! I'm studying, fool!

So, want to go to the mall tomorrow?

Sure, the mall sounds like fun.

Hannah Montana!

Say cheese.

Who's that?

Just my dad ordering pizza. No, Dad, I don't want extra cheese!

Sorry, I got to hang up before he goes all deep dish on me.

Hi. I was just wondering if you could be the

good guy and not print out that picture.

Sure, sweetheart, no problem. Oh, wait a minute, I'm not a good guy.

Well, in that case, I'm not a good girl.

Give me the camera!

Get off me! What are you doing? Hannah's not happy!

Well, she was just trying to even out the sides and-and get rid of the orange.

I'm not going to say a thing.

Well, thank you.

Dad! Dad! Whatever happened to using your own misery to write a song?

I'm sorry, son, I only make fun because I've been there myself.

Heck, every guy has. But, look on the bright side,

at least you got yourself a date with a pretty girl.

Well, not yet.

Well, then, you better hurry up before somebody uses your head as a toilet brush.

Ouch.

Okay. That's all the papers between Lilly's house

and here. Holy Moly! How desperate are you?

Look who's talking!

At least I'm not the one

taking Hannah's wild ride.

Weee!

Listen, Shmohawk, I don't care what I have to do. If.

Lilly finds out why I didn't take her to the party,

it'll crush her. I'm not gonna let that happen.

Well, darling, then you better make those newspapers disappear. Lilly in ten.

Ready?

For what?

The mall. I got to pick out a slamming outfit for the

next party. I mean, I wouldn't want to embarrass you.

No, we wouldn't want that. So, let's go to the mall.

Yeah, the good old mall with that big newsstand and all those

people talking about what's in the news and who's in the news.

On the other hand, the beach sounds like fun, too.

But the mall has cute clothes.

But the beach has cute boys.

To the beach!

Go!

Guys, there you are. You'll never guess who

made the cover of the entertainment section.

Who?

Hey, Oliver, go long!

Too loooong!

You know what? I'm hungry. Let's eat. Hungry,

hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry.

You know what? There is one hot grandpa.

There was a bee. A big bee. I think I got it. You're welcome.

Seriously, I want you guys to see this!

Hey, dude with the board!

Never mind! You know what? It's getting really

crowded back here. Hey, let's go look for sea glass.

Okay. Cross your fingers. I think I fixed it.

Why do I feel a breeze on my head? Why do I feel my head?

Oh. Well, at least I know you're done.

Oh, I messed up again!

No, no, no. It's okay. Um, when it grows back out you can try again.

You'd really let me try again?

Well, sure.

I can't take this anymore. You're bald! Why aren't you mad at me?

Well, it's not like you did it on purpose.

But, I did.

Why? Why would anyb... Oh, no. Something smells like Rico.

The kid paid me. I never would have done it if I'd known you were so nice.

I just wish I could help you get him back.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm just too upset to think

about revenge right now. Okay, I'm over it.

Tell me again what Jackson looked like when he realized it was me.

Don't forget the scream. That's my favorite part.

Life just doesn't get any better than this. Okay, make me look Friday night fresh.

You got it. Just close your eyes, sit back, and relax.

Uh, not too much off the sides now.

Mm-hm.

Wow, I've got enough sea glass to make a coffee table. What about you?

I've got enough sea glass to never, ever look for it again.

Oh. Oh-ho, are the comics in here? We didn't

get our paper today. Nobody on our block did.

Who really cares about the comics? I mean, the fat lazy cats and

the pumpkin-headed kid who's always trying to kick that football...

Boring! Let's just talk. We never talk.

We talked all day.

You know what? Good point. I'm tired of my own voice. Let's listen to someone else's.

Next on This Week In Hollywood, what pouty

pop princess pummeled a paparazzi last ni...

But I wanted to see that!

No, you don't.

Why is your couch so lumpy?

Oh, speaking of lumpy. Let's make some oatmeal.

Nothing like a big bowl of oatmeal after a long day at the beach.

Ooh, the Hannah phone!

No!

Hello, Hannah Montana's close personal friend Lola

here. Oh my gosh, Kelly! It's Kelly Clarkson! Hello.

Lilly, give me the phone.

So, Kelly Felly, sorry to hear the party was canceled.

Lilly, give me the phone!

What do you mean? Hannah said.

Lilly, don't listen to her! She doesn't like

me! Professional jealousy! Petty, petty girl!

Okay, I'll tell her you called. Bye.

Lilly, I can explain. The only reason I didn't

tell you about the party is because I...

You didn't want me there?

It wasn't me that didn't want you there, it was...

Traci and Evan?

Yeah, they kind of thought you were uncool.

Even after you told them how cool I was? You didn't tell them that, did you?

Not exactly. No, Lilly, wait.

You don't need them as your friend. You've got me.

But if you were really my friend, you'd tell me the truth.

Okay, I'll come right out and say it.

You spit food on people, you follow them into the bathroom,

and you walked around for about an hour with a chocolate beard.

Oh, how embarrassing. Why am I such a dork?

Why do I always do that? Lilly, when are you ever going to learn?

No, Lilly, don't be so hard on yourself. I mean, the first time I saw

the chocolate fountain, I poured about half of it into my purse.

You're just saying that to make me feel better.

What the heck are all these newspapers?

I'll tell you what they are. They're me not being a good friend.

I got caught leaving the party early and I didn't want you to know.

Why were you leaving early?

Because it was no fun without you there.

Really?

Yeah. And you know what? It's never gonna happen again.

We don't have to do this. We're still best friends.

I know, that's exactly why I have to do this.

Hannah, it's so awesome to see you with... Her. What was it again? Lola Loser-nagle?

It's Luftnagle! It is Luftnagle, right?

I think.

Well, whatever it is, she's not on the list.

You know what? I like you, Trace, but if you

want to be my friend, she's part of the deal.

But she's just so uncool.

Not as uncool as you were when you shot a snot

rocket so big it hit both of the Olsen twins.

That's not fair. You know I have sinus problems.

Well, we all have problems. But a good friend

doesn't bail on you when you have them.

I didn't bail on you with the twins and I'm not gonna bail on Lilly.

Lola.

Right.

Okay, fine. But tell anyone about the snot rocket and you're out.

Deal.

Meet you in there.

Well, what you did for your friend was real nice.

I think so, too. Is that Orlando Bloom? I'm cool. I'm cool.

Just go for it.

Thanks!

She is kind of a dork.

I know. But she's my dork.

Orlando!

Oh, that's real smart. Laugh at the person who's handling your food!

You tell him, cue ball.

Thanks, Mini-Me.

Hey, we may look alike,

but we will never be the same.

You know, I think what we learned here is that there are

no winners in a war like this. Only hairless casualties.

You're right. Maybe we should call a truce. Deal?

Deal.

Ah!

You're good.

You're good.