Original subtitles

Ready for the Face Off?

Always! But let's finish the game, first.

I got it!

No, I got it!

... for luck!

This thing... is a thing in the jewels!

Holy flip, Thing!

Ah, he shoots!

He scores!

That's my boy!

Looks like it's a tie score, Fester!

Then that means it's time...

For Sudden Death!

You're on!

Go, Addams!

Lurch?

... I win.

2 outta 3?

You're on!

Lurch?

Thing... !

Ouch, pig.

That's got to hurt.

♪ Welcome to the Addams family ♪

♪ How you do, the Addams family? ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

Now!

Chachacha! *snap snap*

♪ Wonderfully scary ♪

♪ And pleasantly hairy ♪

♪ Delightfully? Very. ♪

♪ It's the Addams family! ♪

*snap snap*

♪ Welcome to the Addams family ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

Now!

Chachacha! *snap snap*

Nail file?

Nail file.

Cuticle spread?

Cuticle spreader!

Relax, old boy.

It wasn't your fault.

That's right, it was an accident.

It could have happened to anyone.

Is he going to be alright?

He's going to be fine.

As long as he stays off it for a few days.

Now, Thing, listen to Mama.

Until you're better, we don't want you to lift a finger.

Hang in, my buddy.

And if you need a hand with anything...

Just ring.

Darling, is this big enough?

That should do very nicely.

Ha ha!

Very nice, Gomez~

You're quite the martial artist.

Thank you, my dear.

Bad day at school, children?

Have you made the Dishonour Roll?

Even better.

We've been expelled.

Marvelous!

That means you've been thrown out of every public school in the city.

What was it this time,

electric eels in the pool?

A personal favourite of mine.

We just tried to show the other students

how to make the teeter-totter more exciting.

Expelled, expelled, suspended,

restraining order, expelled.

Wednesday and Pugsley have already been expelled from most of the private schools, too.

Makes a parent proud, doesn't it?

What about my ol Witches School?

They change young children

into irresponsible adults.

Maybe they can go to my old alma mater.

I'm afraid they've raised the admission requirements to the Reform School.

Three strikes 'm you're in!

This one looks promising.

Warbridge Military Academy.

We take your child and give you back a Warrior~

Warbridge Academy has a long and rich tradition.

Our alumni have fought and died in every war in this century.

Is that right?

Our ancestors started most of them.

Take old "Blood 'n Guts" Addams.

He really knew the art of warfare.

Yes, well,

Warbridge is very particular about whom we admit to our hallowed halls.

Our curriculum is very demanding.

Physical requirements are onerous.

Darling, I believe we've found the right school for Wednesday and Pugsley.

Never mind them. I wonder if we can enroll.

Maintaining our fortress of education is not an inexpensive mission.

Our tuition is quite costly.

General MacPatton,

money is no object.

Will this do?

I would be proud to lead your son and daughter into education.

Anytime.

Any place.

Anywhere.

... and that is why you should never

leave your participles dangling.

Not this again...

Alone...

In the bush...

Surrounded by enemy snipers... !

Ha!

I thought I smelled fresh meat.

That's just Pugsley's lunch, sir.

We're new students.

Where are your transfer orders, cadets?

We don't have any.

I'd better go to HQ and clear this up.

Soldiers!

Commence reading Chapter 5.

I'll be back shortly.

And, remember.

You're on the Honour System.

That was a big mistake.

Listen, little girl.

If you're gonna go to school here,

there's one thing you better learn.

Whatever I say, goes.

You've made your point.

Now it's my turn.

Young lady.

We do not tolerate loaded weapons in this academy.

Very well, sir.

I'll unload it.

Fire in the hole!

It was just a small arrow.

Nothing to go to pieces over.

Special delivery.

Thank you, Lurch.

It's from Warbridge Academy.

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Addams."

"Wednesday and Pugsley are vicious and uncontrollable."

"They caused a teacher to crack up."

On the first day?

And we were worried they'd have difficulty adjusting to a new school.

Oh, Gomez...

Despite this glowing report, the General has returned our money and expelled the children.

I'm certain there's a perfectly good explanation.

Perhaps we should invite him over for a chat and clear everything up?

Capital idea!

Lurch?

Would you do the honours?

Thanks, old man.

Hai....

.... yaaaaaa!

Oooohhh.........

Thank you for coming over.

The reason I'm here...

Just to make it perfectly clear your children will

never be allowed to return to Warbridge Academy.

Well, isn't there anything we can do to change your mind?

It simply crushed them when you said they could no longer attend.

They violated school policy.

The owners of Warbridge are very strict about that sort of thing.

How'd you get the XRG71?

That's a top secret weapon.

And with good reason.

Imagine what would happen if a high-energy laser weapon like this,

fell into the wrong hands?

Sorry.

Give me that weapon.

Ooh, but I just...

That's the property of the government of the United States.

Oh yeah, but...

And I intend to see that it gets returned.

Good day.

I tried to tell him I set it on "Self Destruct",

but he wouldn't listen!

Gomez. There must be some way we can get Pugsley and Wednesday back into Warbridge.

Querida?

I'll simply resort to that age ol' strategy that works every time.

I'll buy the school~

Running a school is harder than I thought.

Math, English, History...

Darling, there isn't one course on Fighting or Warfare.

And they call themselves a military school.

We'll have to start from scratch.

Develop a whole new curriculum based on the building blocks of a solid education.

I can teach Demolition.

You know, the ABC's of TNT.

And I can teach Battlefield-Ec.

And I can teach Electricity.

You know, show them what's watt?

Fester, are you sure you can handle two subjects?

Ah!

Darling, look who's paid us a visit.

Friend, I need a word with you.

Just a minute, General.

I'm preparing my lesson plan.

That'll do very nicely for Basic Sabotage.

Now, General, how can I help you?

25 years as a professional soldier, I have never questioned orders.

These new classes you want me to teach, you must be insane.

Not yet,

but hopefully someday.

It runs in the family.

I demand that you reinstate the teachers that you fired,

and resume the previous curriculum.

Or...

... I will be forced to resign!

I didn't realize you felt so strongly.

Well, in that case,

sorry to see you go.

This is an outrage!

I shall return!

Hey, give that back!

Your daddy may own the school.

But I own you.

What's this?

Pandora's Box.

Well, it's mine now.

I wouldn't open that if I were you.

What are you gonna do?

Call your daddy?

Wait till you see what I have for Show & Tell.

Today, we are going to learn about Napoleon, Le Petit Général..

Tish! That's French...

In the middle of a battle,

there isn't always time to prepare a meal.

If you put the alligator in the pot,

while it's still alive,

it will stir itself!

And finally,

a bit of dynamite, right, here.

Professor Fester, are you gonna blow up that model?

Of course not.

I'm just showing you where to place the charges.

Why would I want to blow up a perfectly good model?

When I have an abandoned building next door, all wired up and ready to go?

Children, if I may draw your attention to the window.

That was neat, Uncle Fester.

You think that was fun?

Wait till we start studying Bridges!

Gross!

Excuse me.

I wonder where Lurch is?

I believe he's tending to Thing.

Ever since the accident, he's been waiting on him hand in... hand.

Ahh, General!

To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?

Mr. Addams.

I'm here on behalf of the parents of the Warbridge Academy.

You should have called first.

I would have made blood root tea and crow cakes.

This isn't a social call. It's about the changes you've made in the curriculum.

If you don't restore the previous curriculum under my command,

all of these parents will withdraw their children from Warbridge.

Gomez...

The General seems to have inspired a misguided loyalty and fierce fanaticism in the other parents.

If he could have this effect on the parents,

imagine what our children are missing out on.

General, is there anything we can do to get you to come back?

My terms are Unconditional Surrender!

Of the, uh.

The administration of Warbridge, back to me.

Done!

Okay, Addams.

It's time to settle this here, and now.

I'm glad we worked that out.

Does anyone else have a problem?

Horray for Wednesday~!

.... Cabin A!

Atten-hut!

What is this? A classroom or a zoo?

Sit down.

You should all be at your desks.

And Mr Mason.

Playtime is over, cadets.

I have re-jaken control of the school.

Unfortunately, Martin Butler didn't wish to return.

So!

I will be teaching this class.

We liked your father's glasses.

They were fun.

You have to do something.

Now then!

Who can conjugate the verb "to learn" for me,

in Latin?

Alright,

I'll help.

But you have to promise to do whatever I say.

We promise!

I see one of you,

is starting to come around.

This is an outrage!

What's going on?

I demand that you release me at once!

Sorry, General.

We are making the demands now.

What is it, dear?

It's a note.

From the school.

Something about an armed insurrection.

I knew placing our trust in the General was the right thing to do.

Apparently he's been kidnapped.

The students are revolting!

Yes, well.

With those haircuts...

No, they've taken over the school.

And Wednesday's their leader... !

Her first coup d'état~

Tish!

That's French.

And the children will be gone all night.

Ahhh, General MacPatton!

Thank you for your note.

We're glad to hear things are going so smoothly.

Smoothly?!

Your daughter's turned my cracked soldiers into mutinous scoundrels!

Wednesday always was a "people" person.

Would you mind getting me down from here?

Young lady, you've kept us waiting for quite a long time.

Nice touch.

Yes, you and Pugsley have certainly learned a lot.

What is it you wish of me?

Well, the General would like control of his school, back.

And what does he have to offer in return?

Good question!

General?

Well,

if you agree to release the teachers you've held hostage,

I can promise the students complete amnesty.

No stockade time?

That hardly sounds fair.

That will get you half of the hostages.

For the other half, we have a few demands of our own.

Weekly seminars to be taught by Uncle Fester.

Extended recess, no bugling before 8 a.m.

And everyone gets extra credit for the successful staging of a military operation.

It's outrageous, I refuse to submit to those demands.

Well, I guess there's nothing else we can do.

Have fun, children.

No, wait, wait, wait, I agree.

I agree.

Please, let me help me get your children into public school

They're better able to deal with this sort of thing... !

That is acceptable.

My work here is done.

En garde~!

Darling... !

Do you think we did the right thing returning the children to public school?

Barbed wire fences,

metal detectors,

overcrowded classrooms!

How could we go wrong?

Where'd it go?

I don't know.

Ahh, I see the patient is recovering nicely.

How long does he have to wear those casts?

Oh, it shouldn't take more than, six weeks or so.

Nose itches.

Thing sure does come in handy, sometimes.

So, Lurch, I guess we'll have to put off cleaning out the attic.

Here comes your bayonette.

Wow!

A television satellite!

Well, somebody's going to be watching static, tonight.

Awoooo... !