Original subtitles

Nice shot!

Wednesday, you've been practicing.

Big deal!

I can beat you blindfolded.

We'll see.

Are you okay, old man?

No one plays darts like Lurch.

He's the best.

The best.

Gomez?

Mrs. Bell from the PTA just called me.

I hate obscene phone calls.

They're meeting to discuss whether to build

new tennis courts or an outdoor track.

In the middle of a school zone?

Are they mad?

I think they should build a dungeon,

so we can have a dark place to play in.

You mean you don't have one already?

Children just don't have the advantages we had growing up.

I hope you don't have to meet that Mrs. Bell.

She has kittens.

Have the festivities here.

It'll give you a chance to break out the salmonella.

It has been a while since we entertained.

And we weren't cleared in those wrongful death suits.

Darling, you're right.

I'll call Mrs. Bell tomorrow.

Lurch,

will you help me plan?

You have such a knack for throwing parties.

I win.

♪ Welcome to the Addams family ♪

♪ How you do, the Addams family? ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

Now!

Chachacha! *snap snap*

♪ Wonderfully scary ♪

♪ And pleasantly hairy ♪

♪ Delightfully? Very. ♪

♪ It's the Addams family! ♪

*snap snap*

♪ Welcome to the Addams family ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

♪ Come into the Addams family ♪

Now!

Chachacha! *snap snap*

It's all settled.

The PTA will be coming here Thursday afternoon.

Gomez,

will you be joining us?

Afraid not, querida.

I have an appointment with my dentist.

He's got some new drills

I've been dying to try out.

Perhaps it's better if you weren't here.

I know the effect you have on the opposite sex.

Sometimes it frightens me.

I live in constant fear

that some woman will steal you away from me.

Banish the thought, ma chérie!

You...

... are the only weed in the garden of my life.

Father!

Father?

Father!

Oh, sorry son, what is it?

Can we go to the circus?

Pugsley, sit down.

I'm worried about you son.

Why would a healthy, young boy want to go to the circus?

And what was that awful thing you got yourself involved with last week?

The Glee Club?

Glee Club, that's right.

And this week it's a circus!

But I really want to see

Gorgo the Flying Gorilla.

He's only in town for one night.

Well, look at that.

The owner is a friend of mine,

Oscar Weber.

Oscar started out as a sword swallower, you know.

I remember Oscar,

the poor dear.

He wasn't very good.

That was his selling point.

People would come for miles around

to see what he'd cut off next.

An ear, a finger, a nasty mole.

You rang?

The car, Lurch.

I'm taking Pugsley to the circus.

Yay!

Thanks, Father!

I don't know about this.

I'd feel so much better if you were at home, playing Hide and Seek with the vultures.

Oh, he'll be okay. Don't worry.

Pugsley!

Are you ready?

Be right down.

I just want to get some money in my piggyback, Father.

Wait till I spring this one on Wednesday.

She'll be so scared.

Always thinking of your sister.

Gomez!

Oscar, old pal.

You look...

... great!

You've been working out, haven't you?

This is my son, Pugsley.

I can't wait to see the Amazing Gorgo!

How is your star attraction?

Ahh, he's a little lonely ever since the Bearded Lady left him.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

Well,

nice to see you.

Thanks, son.

And now, for the moment you've all been for!

Gorgo, the Amazing Gorilla.

Look me up, the next time you're in town.

You can take a stab at swallowing my chainsaw.

Oh, you're on!

Pugsley, time to go home.

Bye, Gorgo.

Fine-looking beast, isn't he?

Gorgo? One of a kind!

I was referring to Pugsley.

Wednesday!

Just a minute later, Mother.

We're playing.

Lurch, don't forget to kick up more dust before the PTA meeting.

This table is so clean, I can practically see myself.

Yes.

Mrs.

Addams.

Come on, Lurch.

Higher.

Higher!

Higher!

Higher... !

Oops.

Pugsley!

Did you enjoy your day at the...

... circus?

Gorgo the Fly Gorilla was the best!

I want to be just like him.

Do it again.

Boys are no fun.

Gorgo, what are you doing here?

C'mon in! I'll find you a place to sleep.

Oh, look, Gomez.

Hurricane season has started in Bangladesh.

I'll have Lurch make reservations, today.

Fester!

Back from skydiving, I see.

He was so graceful~

Went down,

like a ton of bricks!

Talk about relaxing!

So,

who's the friend Wednesday and Pugsley were playing with, right now?

Boy, was he rude.

We said hello,

and all he did was grunt.

Then, he threw a banana at us.

Hmm, I wonder who it is.

What does he look like?

Big,

hairy,

and he beats his chest a lot.

Yeah, good looking kid.

That's no kid.

That's a gorilla!

A gorilla?

That's odd...

I know.

Not like Gomez to call people names.

Next week,

let's try bungee jumping!

Good idea.

Maybe, we can find a nice crowded overpass.

Lurch, what are you doing here?

Time for darts.

I hope you're not waiting for Wednesday and Pugsley.

They're outside with some big ape,

playing Truth or Dare.

We'll play with ya, Lurch!

No, it's not the same.

Oh.

I just got off the phone with Oscar Weber and explained everything.

He's gonna pick his gorilla up

when he gets back from Springfield.

You know, I've been watching Gorgo and Pugsley race to the top of that tree.

Pugsley's won every time.

The true Addams.

Of course the boy has an advantage.

Gorgo can't hang by his teeth.

Hmm!

Party sampler.

Gorgo, let's play....

Baby bat puffs!

Lurch, your mother's secret recipe.

It was nothing.

Lurch, have you met our new houseguest?

Lurch, Gorgo.

Gorgo, Lurch.

Gorgo,

why didn't you say you were hungry?

Lurch, how about fixing our guest a little snack?

After lunch,

you wanna go play darts with me and Wednesday?

But, I...

Great!

I'll go sharpen the points.

Lurch, since you're free,

you can start on the ironing.

Yes, Mrs. Addams.

I get the feeling Lurch doesn't take to Gorgo.

Well, you know Lurch,

a fine man,

but a bit of a snob.

Very good, Lurch.

Just add a few more wrinkles.

That's my job.

Lurch, don't be upset

just because Gorgo is spending so much time with the children,

and trying to assume your chores.

After all,

you're the only one who could have put this meeting together.

Why,

you even tarnished the silver!

Let's check the living room to be sure we didn't forget to add rocks to the seat cushions.

Why, Thing, it's so dusty.

Good work.

They're here.

Now I want everyone to show the usual Addams Hospitality.

I'll be upstairs,

in my cage.

Ready for the countdown, Pugsley?

Ready!

Ladies, come in.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one... !

Went right through Grandmama's room!

Mama, are you up there?

You bet I am!

Nice aim!

You almost took out my left hip!

What on Earth?

I want to see if it started a fire!

This is my husband, Gomez.

How do you do?

His brother, Fester.

Please to meetcha!

It's just battery acid.

Ladies, can I get you anything,

hors d'oeuvres, tea, back-cracker?

Thanks.

I'll pass.

It's really quite relaxing.

Hey, Gomez!

We better hurry up. We'll miss your dentist appointment.

Fester's going to try and talk the dentist into another unnecessary root canal.

What is it?

Watch it.

Be careful.

Oh, it's alive... !

Please, won't you join me for some refreshments.

Oh, yes.

Ladies.

Would you like some tea?

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Lurch, some tea for the ladies.

Thank you.

That butler, where did you dig him up?

Isn't that fun?

I can't remember which cemetery it was.

Oh, excuse me.

What's in this?

Strong, isn't it?

We bought it in England when we were visiting friends in the Wax Museum.

So, Mrs. Addams,

I'm pleased to announce that we finally decided to go with the tennis courts, instead of the track.

But, tennis is played outdoors, in the sun.

Well, what would you suggest?

Locking the children in a closet?

No, they get enough of that at home.

What I was hoping was that the school would build a dungeon.

What? A dungeon?

You know, a place where children can get

cold, wet air.

Nothing elaborate.

A few wall shackles, a rack.

Maybe a nice sharp pendulum.

... more tea?

I'll get more.

Look! It's a gorilla!

Who cares?

As long as he's got more tea!

Can you say "back waxing"?

Back waxing!

He is so funny... !

You can leave that right here with me.

I knew we should have had the meeting with Mrs. Bell.

Lurch?

There you are.

You wouldn't know anything about this, would you?

Come on, let's stop them before they make fools of themselves.

Pathetic.

Isn't it.

I can't believe Gorgo did this.

And to think, we put him in the master pit.

I don't know what to do.

Follow me.

Querida, the gathering appears to be a staggering success.

Yes, everything turned out quite well.

Thanks to Lurch.

I think we accomplished quite a lot, at our PTA meeting.

When is the school starting work on the new dungeon?

Next week.

Funny, Mrs. Bell still doesn't remember our conversation.

Good thing Pugsley videotaped it.

Gave it to the principal.

Lurch,

I haven't seen you this happy since Gorgo left.

Tell the truth.

You were a little jealous of Gorgo, weren't you?

No.

Yes...

Lurch,

you needn't have been.

No one could replace you.

Yeah!

Nothing like a little Paintball to lift Lurch's spirits.

Lurch.

Such a credit to the family.

Awoooooo... !