Original subtitles

One 3D knitter?

Check.

Five boxes of freeze-dried taquitos?

Check.

Oh, sweet!

They got carne asada!

You want one?

No, dude.

If Benson catches us taking a snack break instead

of doing inventory, he's gonna flip his lid.

Now, come on, what's next?

Fine.

One, uh... uh... what the heck is this thing?

I don't know.

Hmm.

Hmm, hmm, hmm!

Rigby!

Are you okay?

Rigby!

Oh, no, oh, no.

Oh, Rigby.

Dude!

Ah!

Don't do that!

Wait, how'd you get all the way over there?

I don't know.

I was over here, and there was this flash of light,

and then I was over there, in that other pod.

Dude, do you realize what this is?

Teleporter!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Okay, okay.

Oh, watch this.

No, it's my turn.

Dude, this'll just take a sec.

No!

Ah!

Rigby, will you chill, man?

Geez!

No!

I wanna go!

Hey!

Dude, I don't think we're supposed to go through together.

What are you talking about?

I don't know.

What if we got messed up or something?

Whatever, man.

We're fine.

Still, I just don't think it's a good...

What?

Dude, your butt!

Ah, what?

I got your butt?

Oh, great.

Now I'm the one cheek wonder.

I don't want your messed up butt.

Don't make fun of my butt!

Yeah, whatever.

What are we gonna do about this?

I don't know.

Maybe if we go through again, we'll change back?

Good idea.

Man, how do you walk around this thing?

It's all lopsided.

You're lopsided!

What is going on in here?

Look at this mess!

I knew I couldn't trust you guys with inventory.

No, Vincent.

We're almost done.

No, you are done.

And what is this?

What is what?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah, Vincent, it's a free country.

Whatever.

Just go outside and rake the leaves.

Aw, come on!

Just give us five minutes!

No, now!

Move it!

Of all the idiotic things I gotta deal with today...

Aw, man!

He locked the door!

Dude, we gotta get Vincent's key so we can get back in there.

We all know ghosts are totally real.

Whoa!

Carlos!

Eat hell!

And they're coming for you on Earth.

But what about in space?

We'll find out on tonight's episode of Ghosts

Are Totally Real and they're coming for you!

Bunch of Bologna.

Oh, not you, Sammy.

You're beautiful.

Hey, what do you think he's watching?

Dude, we're doing a thing right now.

Get your head in the game.

Gee, sorry.

Those ghosts just look totally real.

And like they're coming for that guy.

He looks gooood.

We should ask him to tape it.

Dude...

You see the keys to the dormitory anywhere?

Oh, yeah, there they are.

They're sitting right next to him.

Oh, gotta be kidding me.

We're never getting those keys.

Benson probably squeaked with those things.

Ow!

It's hopeless.

I guess we should start getting used to these new butts.

Welp, I gotta use it.

Ew, no dude.

We're getting those keys and I'm getting my butt back.

Hold on, bros.

What's goin' on?

Why are your...

Shh!

Hmm... I think he's gone.

Bros, what happened to your butts?

We were taking inventory in the dormitory and we found these teleporters.

But we accidentally...

Oh, say no more.

I'm a licensed teleportation technician.

What?

No you're not.

Yeah, bro.

It was part of my space tree training.

You have to calibrate the machine when you're

teleporting more than one sentient life form.

Uh, no doi.

Well, it doesn't matter if we can't get those keys.

Well, you guys better hurry.

The genetic mutation is only gonna continue

until you completely transform into each other.

That's not gonna happen to us, is it?

No, dude.

That's the kind of stuff that happens in dumb movies.

This is real life.

Those kind of things don't happen in real life.

What?

We gotta get those keys.

They feed off the fear of the unfortunate space-faring souls who cross their paths.

That's... What the?

Hey!

Aw, come on!

Seriously?

Hello?

Is someone there?

Oh!

Hey!

Space ghosts aren't real.

Space ghosts aren't real.

I got the keys.

Let's roll.

Okay, let's get this over with already.

Muscle Man better be right about this.

Hey, I think it worked.

Uh... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Dude!

Now it's even worse!

I don't know, man.

I'm kinda into it.

I'm finally as tall as my brother.

Eat it, Don, wherever you are!

No.

What?

This is terrible.

Look at me, dude.

I'm a short, tiny freak.

Oh, so that's what you think of me?

Aw, come on.

That's not what I meant.

Oh, I knew what you meant.

You don't like being in my shoes.

I just want to be me again.

It's not fair.

You're right.

It's not fair.

We should play punchies for it.

Huh?

I guess we'll stay like this then.

Uh, Rigby!

No!

Come back, Rigby!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Hmm.

Ugh!

Stupid stubby legs.

Hey, Five, should I throw these astronaut diapers in with the raw sewage?

Yeah!

Anything that has moisture.

Ha!

And now, through the magic of reverse osmosis,

you'd never know this used to be wastewater.

Did you see that?

Was there something in the water?

I might need to replace the coaster.

Ugh!

Where did I put my keys?

Ugh.

Let's see.

I was watching TV.

Did they fall into the couch?

Okay, fun's over, Rigby.

Let's go back to the teleporter.

No way, man!

This is great!

Come on, dude.

I don't want to be stuck in your weak little body.

Me neither!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Go back!

Never!

Unbelievable.

Ugh.

I can't even count how many protocols from the

teleporter code of ethics you two are breaking right now.

We need to get you guys switched back stat.

Dude, I know.

Try telling Rigby that.

No way, man.

This is the new me.

I'm never losing at Punchies again.

No, bro.

This is not natural.

You see, when I became a licensed teleporter technician, I took a sacred oath.

And right now, you're making a mockery of everything I stand for!

More to catch!

Get his legs!

No!

No!

Let me go!

Shut it, Rigby.

Muscle Man, how's it going?

Almost got it.

Okay, baby.

Talk to me.

Let's make this right.

Dude, will you knock it off?

Muscle Man!

Rigby, chill!

No!

Ship him into the teleporter!

Step back!

I'm playing!

Aw, yeah!

It worked!

Hey, Rigby.

Stop pouting and get out here.

Play Punchies!

Dude, no!

Huh?

Muscle Man, are you okay?

Yeah.

Dude, what the heck happened to Rigby?

I didn't calibrate the machine for three people, bro.

Him pulling me in there threw everything off.

We gotta catch him and swish him back before he gets worse.

But we're gonna need some bait.

Hmm.

Hmm.

I think I've got an idea.

It's better this way!

We're strong now!

No!

What?

No!

We're perfect!

Shhh!

Eileen!

What do you think of my new ripped bod?

Yeah, she loves it.

Eileen!

Eileen!

Eileen!

Eileen!

Eileen!

You.

bro!

The heck, Rigby?

You know how long it took us to make that trap?

Not cool, dude.

I might have gotten a little carried away.

You think?

Come help us put these teleporters back before Benson notices they're gone.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

I can do this!

Ewww!