Original subtitles

[Dramatic music]

[Music continues]

[Helicopter blades whirring]

- Oh, after you. - Argh.

- You worried? - Superman does not worry.

[Elevator beeping]

[Rattling]

Lex?

Right here.

[Grunts]

You diseased maniac.

I'll take it from here.

[Clicks]

[Thud]

Woa-ah!

Uh-h.

You feel okay, Superman?

[Whooshing]

Oh.

Huh?

Crash

[Lex laughing]

[Typewriter keys clicking]

[Orchestral music]

Hmm.

[Crowd chattering]

Hmm?

[Crowd cheering]

Argh!

[Crowd chattering]

[Soft music]

Lex, I'm surprised you took time away

From your presidential campaigning

And came to gotham city for this.

Oh, dear lady, as a nominee it's my pleasure

And privilege to be here.

Especially, if you win.

[Laughing]

And now, ladies and gentlemen.

The moment you've all been waiting for.

We're here tonight to honor a great man.

A man who has proved time and again

'his first priority is helping those in need. '

This year's man of the year award

Goes to... Bruce wayne.

[Cheering]

Next year, buddy.

[Orchestral music]

I despise that guy.

Bruce, will you say a few words?

Well, there's not much to say.

I do what little I can.

Since every once in a while everyone needs a helping hand.

Though I'm not sure I deserve an award for it.

[Joker laughing]

[Buzzing]

(joker) 'You heard him. He doesn't deserve it. '

'Which is just as well, since we got a last minute entry. '

'Who has been there for you? '

'One man who has made it his mission'

'to improve the lives of people around him. '

'He has remodeled our buildings. '

[Clicks]

[Explosion]

'Helped keep our banks free of unnecessary clutter. '

'You have always shown your appreciation. '

(male #2) 'What you need? We'll do anything for you. '

(Joker) 'And why stop now? '

Ha ha!

[Guests screaming]

A standing ovation!

Did not expect that. But I'll take it.

And also, everything else.

[Screaming]

[Coins clinking]

Uh-uh.

Excuse me, sir.

I'm going to purr-loin your valuables.

[Laughing]

[Dramatic music]

Riddle me this.

What's green and found in your wallet?

- Money? - Um, no. Not anymore.

Wait!

Sorry, to rain on your terrain, my dear.

Quack, quack, quack, quack.

- Thanks so much. - Oh.

Well, well, Lex Luthor.

Presidential candidate

And Superman's least favorite bald person.

No, thanks. I don't want to get joy buzzed.

Oh, don't worry, I didn't want to shake hands.

I want your watch.

Nice running into you.

- Let's do it again some time. - Oh, we will.

- Speech. - Come on, Joker.

- Speech. - Come on.

[Laughing]

What a night, such an honor.

I'm speechless.

[Laughing]

Ah, who am I kidding? When am I ever speechless?

Look at that face.

It's like, what's he gonna say?

What's going to come out of that mouth of his?

[Buzzing]

Crash

Sorry, to wipe that grin off your face, Joker.

You're not sorry, you're not sorry at all.

Riddle me this, Batman.

What wears a mask and is unconscious?

[Penguin grunts]

[Thud]

You.

Whoosh

Let's get him.

- Ahh! - Ah!

[Thud]

[Batman grunts]

[Screams]

[Music continues]

Let's ask the coin?

[Grunts]

[Bird squawks]

Crash

Ha ha ha.

[Joker laughing]

[Engine revving]

[Helicopter blades whirring]

- 'Get going, Robin. ' - 'I was waiting for you. '

[Whirring continues]

Quack, quack, quack, quack.

Quack, quack, quack.

Crash

[instrumental music]

[Joker laughing]

[Whirring]

[Laughing continues]

[Sighs]

Crash

Ah, my kind of party.

Good food, good people. Good goody bags.

[Laughing]

Hey, bat-lame and slobin.

Why are you guys hanging around?

Ha! You see what I did there?

We're here to get those valuables you stole, Joker.

And bruce wayne's man of the year award.

This is my award

It very clearly says, me, Joker.

Oh, you just-you ju...

You just stuck that on there.

Whoa-a!

Robin, focus on your flying.

(Robin) 'Sorry. '

Whoa!

[Laughing]

[Beeping]

[Explosion]

Oh, I missed.

[Clattering]

[Beeping]

You like shark, Batman?

'Because I think they're going to like you. '

[Dramatic music]

[Whooshing]

[Snaps]

Argh!

Oh, come on!

(Robin) I can't keep up.

I'll take it from here.

[Whooshing]

[Laughing]

Oh-he-e.

[Joker laughing]

Swoosh

[beeping]

You like missiles, Batman?

Because I think they're going to like you.

[Buzzing]

[Explosion]

Huh!

Let's see, what do we have?

Oh, good. You like pie, Batman? 'Cause I think...

Ah, forget it.

[Sizzling]

Argh!

Where does he get these unbreakable toys?

Clang

Oh, come on!

Oh, see, now you get out!

You are afraid of a real fight.

Yeah, you're so scary.

[Siren wailing]

Watch the suit, boys.

Thanks for helping out, Batman.

Hey, you know, I also was... Part of this.

[Thunder rumbling]

Hey, guys, need a hand?

With what? Parking?

Huh?

Yeah, sorry. I wanted to be there for your award.

Ah, I mean, uh, bruce wayne's award.

- Me too. Kids weren't invited. - Mmm.

So, saw you put a big hole in the theatre.

I'll get it repaired.

I already did that.

Also, I put your boat back in the water.

Hey, thanks!

Yeah, thanks.

You know, you should really try not to make such a mess

While you're fighting crime.

[Buzzing]

I can see you smirking in there.

X- ray vision.

Aren't there people somewhere else

That need your help right now?

Yeah, actually there are.

I should go. See you, guys.

Bye, Superman!

- He's so nice. - Yeah, he's great.

You were kinda rude.

I was doing a systems check.

See you at the batcave.

[Whooshing]

Swoosh

[dramatic music]

(woman on tv) Scenes of chaos tonight at the gotham city theatre

Where the Joker has interrupted

The prestigious man of the year awards.

[Sirens wailing]

Watch the suit, boys.

This was the fifth annual man of the year ceremony held in gotham

But only the second to be brought to a premature end

'by a gang of rampaging villains. '

Computer... I have an election to win.

[Beeping]

Grr.

Looks like another stay in arkham asylum for the Joker.

[Clicking]

Hmm.

[Joker laughing]

Love you, Joker!

I'll win in a landslide.

[Beeping]

Huh?

[Beeping continues]

Oh, come on.

'First Batman, second Superman. '

Kryptonite.

[Laughing]

[Thunder rumbling]

[Dramatic music]

(man on tv) 'Batman seems to have recovered all the stolen property'

Including bruce wayne's man of the year award.

The only thing left for Joker, a swift return to arkham asylum.

Along with the title, goon of the year.

This is clark kent on assignment in gotham city

For daily planet online.

[Shatters]

'Hey! '

I was watching that.

Too much television is bad for you, pumpkin.

How does he sneak all that stuff in?

Clark kent! Really despise that guy.

Coming all the way to gotham city to insult me.

Me, a hometown boy who made good.

(lex) 'You're right. You don't deserve that. '

That's right. I don't.

Eh, wait. Who said that?

'How would you like to be out of arkham right now'

'and given a chance to take revenge on Batman'

'and the rest of this ungrateful city? '

Well, I'd have to be crazy to say no to that offer.

Unless you're just one of the voices in my head.

In which case, I'm crazy anyway.

[Sizzling]

What!

Bang

Oh, hey, lex!

You've come to get your watch back?

Or did a bus from metropolis get lost and breakdown?

First, I don't take the bus.

[Airplane engine droning]

And second, yes, give me my watch.

So, what you got there?

This, my friend, is the deconstructor.

It emits a unique energy.

One that is absorbed so quickly by any... Shiny black object

That it causes it to pull itself apart.

[Crackling]

What!

Nifty! What's it got to do with me?

First, I need help replacing its power source.

It doesn't run on aa batteries.

[Laughing]

Kryptonite.

And second, I might need some of that Joker gas

You are so good at making.

Oh, yeah.

I guess that could come in handy

For someone running for president.

You help me, you can use the deconstructor

To your heart's content.

Quack, quack...

Know anybody who has lots of shiny, black, unbreakable toys?

I don't know who you're referring to.

Come on! Batman!

Oh. You were...

Joking. I'm the Joker.

(guard on pa) 'Prisoner escape! Repeat, prisoner escape! '

We should be going.

Can I just have one try?

[Both grunting]

[Crackling]

A- ah!

Joker, come on.

[Sizzling]

It's a shame.

Now someone's going to have to fix this.

But the good news is, I'm out of prison.

[Alarm blaring]

Joker!

[Intense music]

[Joker laughing]

Hey, what's going on?

- It's a riddle. - Oh, come on!

That's my thing.

[Zapping]

[Owl hooting]

[Water gushing]

[Bats screeching]

[Dramatic music]

[Music continues]

(man on intercom) 'Justice league watchtower calling Batman. '

[Beeping]

Justice league watchtower calling Batman.

This is Batman.

Just checking your location in case of emergency.

I'm in the batcave.

[Alarm blaring]

Sounds like an emergency.

It's alright. I got it.

[Dramatic music]

[Beeping]

You got dressed fast.

Well, I've just started sleeping in the costume now.

Whoa!

[Dramatic music]

[Engines revving]

[Laughing]

May I?

Oh, well, I think I should do it.

I thought you were going to let me play with that thing.

[Zapping]

[Clattering]

[Music continues]

Dah! What's this? Do I need this?

Boom

Nah!

Joker, could we move things along?

You're no fun to shop with, lexie.

Grr!

Whoa! Hey!

Wait!

Stop!

Okay, we can go.

[Rattling]

On second thought, I have an idea!

[Laughing]

Joker, come on!

I'm an artiste.

I like to challenge myself with a bigger canvas.

[Engine revving]

[Tires screeching]

Commissioner.

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

No problem, jim.

Commissioner gordon is what you need to call him.

What's the situation?

There's been a breakout at arkham.

'The bridge automatically submerges'

'during a prison break. '

'Unfortunately, it's so old'

'it takes a long time to raise again. '

Crash

I'll get over there and start cleaning up.

Batman, wait for me.

- You won't make it. - Oh, yeah? Watch me.

Uh, Robin, I think you should listen to your-your-your Batman.

Don't worry about me, jim. Uh, commissioner gordon.

[Engine revving]

[Dramatic music]

Oh, man, should've listened. Should've listened.

Yep, should've listened.

[Tires screeching]

[Clanging]

[Screaming]

[Screaming continues]

[Tires screeching]

(male #3) Hey, come on, get him.

(male #4) Yeah.

Eat a brick, Batman!

What do we do?

You put your bike back together, I'll take care of this.

(Robin) 'They've got the high ground. '

But I've got better aim.

[Whirring]

Ouch!

Wow! That was easy.

A little too easy.

They were only meant to distract us.

From what?

[Dramatic music]

Boo!

Holy baloney! Totally scared catwoman.

Did you see that?

Oh, Robin.

Come on, you've got to give me this one.

Now, Robin, what were you saying?

Something catty, I believe.

Alright, everybody, back inside.

Let's ask the coin.

Yeah, the coin says "no. "

You know that's where you're gonna end up eventually.

Not this time.

[Rumbling]

Boo!

[Engine revving]

Perfect! You brought my bike.

Oh! Oh! Can I drive?

I wanna drive. You gotta let me drive.

Sorry, harley quinn, the coin says "no. "

You take catwoman. I'll get the three in the jeep.

- What about the others? - We've got time.

Bane's mole machine is not built for speed.

Go.

[Engine revving]

[Dramatic music]

Bad news, two-face. Batman's on our tail.

So, we'll lose him in the sculpture garden.

Okay.

(riddler) Oh, for crying out loud!

[Tires screeching]

Left or right?

[Music continues]

Left.

What are you doing? Turn!

Oh, without the coin I don't know which way to go.

Oh, stop it.

Crash

Riddler baby, you should've...

Let you drive. I know!

[Engine revving]

Ha ha ha.

You're not gonna find any cheese in this maze, rat-boy.

Rat-boy? You get rat-boy from Robin?

[Tires screeching]

A- ah!

You were saying... Something catty, I believe.

[Rumbling]

[Tires screeching]

[Engine revving]

Aha!

[Engine revving]

It's defined now!

Bang

I can't control it.

Click

[engine revving]

Boom

Bang

[whirling]

Ow!

[Laughing]

Bang

Argh!

Boom boom boom.

Well, we contained the break out.

All the prisoners are accounted for.

Except the Joker.

He must've been the first one to break out.

Smuggled in some kind of explosives.

No, I don't think so.

There'd be blast marks, powder burns, something.

It's as if the bricks just flew out.

Well, yeah. No, I mean, you didn't let me finish.

I was gonna say, was gonna say smuggled in some explosives

Which would be the usual way, he would break out.

Which he didn't, because there is no sign of an explosive.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, look at this.

Mm-hmm. Looks like some kind of residual radiation.

[Dramatic music]

Packaging remote tie-in.

Bat computer. Remote tie-in, active.

Identify residual radiation.

(computer speaking) Radiation consistent with energy signature

Of u. S. Defense department project.

J.S. G- 817 currently under development at lex corp.

Well, I think we know who broke Joker out of prison.

Lex luthor.

What would an upstanding presidential candidate

Like lex luthor want with the Joker?

I've heard that lex luthor may not be so upstanding.

You might wanna tell somebody. Election day is tomorrow.

Sir, there's been a break in at ace chemicals.

Wouldn't be surprised if that was Joker's first stop.

[Dramatic music]

[Engine revving]

Wait!

[Engine revving]

Ha-ha-ha.

¶ buffalo gal won't you come out tonight ¶

¶ come out tonight

¶ buffalo gal won't you come out tonight ¶

¶ and dance by the light of the moon ¶

Blurp

[glass shattering]

[Dramatic music]

[Valve screeching]

Joker, how's it coming?

You can't mess something like this.

Ding

Oh!

Lex! It's a boy.

Ha-ha-ha.

[Engine revving]

[Bell ringing]

Duh-duh-duh. Argh!

Just like arkham.

So, I can stop carrying this?

I mean, now we have other samples.

[Door squeaking]

[Cylinders clanking]

L- I can't go anywhere without making a mess.

[Gurgling]

He didn't just break in here to do this.

[Beeping]

Come on.

[Dramatic music]

Promethium, xenon, mercury, tantalum and dialum.

And those aren't the chemicals he spilt all over the floor?

No.

[Dramatic music continues]

[Explosions]

So, uh, we're gonna leave now, right?

Yes.

Boom

Got to give it to the Joker, that is kinda cool.

It'll be really cool when that fire ignites

The rest of the chemicals in the building.

What's that?

(Batman) Acid. It'll soften the planks.

Poof

Boom

Ooh!

[Dramatic music]

[Grunting]

[Explosions]

Oh!

Hey, guys.

- Wow! - Calm down.

Ha ha ha.

Whoo.

[Orchestra music]

Again.

Wow! That is great.

Isn't that great, Batman?

Destroyed all the evidence of the crime scene.

So, who blew this up?

Long story. We've got it covered.

Okay, well, just let me know, uh, volcano in mexico.

Call me, if you need me.

Uh, Batman, maybe he could help with this.

I mean, he's had a lot of experience

Dealing with lex luthor.

We don't need him.

Well, it seems like just now we needed him.

We'd have been fine jumping off the roof.

I think we would have broken our legs.

We've broken our legs before.

Yeah, but I didn't like it.

I mean, if we just call him.

Robin. We can't go through life expecting Superman

Or anyone else to save us whenever things get tough.

The only people we can rely on, is ourselves.

Bat computer, tie-in.

(computer) Bat computer remote tie-in. Active.

Access chemical database.

What substance can be produced to recombination

Of the following chemicals?

Promethium, xenon, mercury, tantalum and dialum?

Accessing. No substance found.

What substance can be approximated

Through the combination of the chemicals?

'Accessing. '

'Listed chemicals can combine to form'

'an approximation of kryptonite. '

Kryptonite?

We better call Superman.

We're not... Going to call Superman.

Activate tracking systems.

Detect nearby sources of kryptonite.

(computer) Affirmative.

[Beeping]

There it is.

Maybe, we should let Superman know.

We do and we'll be putting him in danger.

[Engine revving]

Can we ever leave together?

[Dramatic music]

[Chemicals gurgling]

[Dramatic music]

Ugh!

[Beeping]

No! You tricked me.

Oh, don't worry.

[Dramatic music continues]

Ha ha ha. Nice job.

So, lex, when you're president

Can I be vice president?

I think we've got company.

[Beeping]

You didn't answer my question.

[Engine revving]

Click.

(computer) 'Auto drive, activated. '

Click.

Poof

Ugh!

Aha!

(Batman) Kryptonite.

(Joker) Batman!

Batman!

Argh!

Pow

Oh, my goodness. Beaten again.

No hard feelings.

Hmm.

Uh-ah!

[Tires screeching]

Click

[dramatic music]

Bang

[tires screeching]

Argh!

[Tires screeching]

[Whirling]

Whoo-ho-ho.

[Engine revving]

Uh... Where's your car?

Argh!

[Engine revving]

[Door clanking]

Bang

Substance is 84% similar to kryptonite.

No harmful effects to natives of krypton.

(Batman) 'That doesn't make sense. '

I had the bat mobile tracking kryptonite.

It wouldn't have picked this up.

There must have been kryptonite in the van.

What's the point of making kryptonite

That wouldn't harm Superman anyway.

We'll put it away with the other kryptonite just to be safe.

(Robin) 'Why do we have so much of this stuff? '

I keep it in case Superman decides to be a bad guy one day.

You expect the worst of everybody.

Yeah.

[Beeping]

What's happened? We've lost the signal.

Don't worry. It's directly ahead.

[Tires screeching]

[Intense music]

Beyond these walls, friend

Lie the keys to the destruction of Superman.

And Batman too, right?

Sure. Yeah. Fine.

[Zapping]

[Crackling]

(batcomputer) 'Intruder alert! Intruder alert! '

[Alarm blaring]

Someone's broken into the batcave?

(Batman) 'Fake kryptonite. '

It was a homing device. We were set up.

Hello! Anybody home? We're here.

And we brought deserts.

[Dramatic music]

[Zapping]

Come on, we're guests.

You can't offer us a lousy cup of coffee?

[Grunts]

[Crackling]

Ah!

Hey, is that the batboat?

[Zapping]

Bang

Oh, gee. Ha ha.

Could've sworn it was there a minute ago.

Hey, look. The batwing.

[Crackling]

Oh. Must be seeing things.

[Laughing]

[Zapping]

We gotta get outta here.

- But, Batman... - go.

[Music continues]

Hey, Batman, penny for your thoughts?

[Sizzling]

[Rumbling]

[Clicking]

Bang

Oh! Are we going upstairs?

I'd love to see the rest of the place.

Bang

Going down.

[Crackling]

Boom

We don't have a lot of time.

Jump!

Uh-oh!

[Explosion]

[Dramatic music]

Argh!

Let him go, we have to find the vault.

You're right. It's time to serve desert.

Where does he keep the kryptonite?

I just know he has it. Not where he hides it.

[Sighs]

Computer, where is the kryptonite?

(batcomputer) Kryptonite location is protected

By security access codes.

Computer, do you know who I am?

Lex luthor, presidential candidate

Owner and founder of lexcorp industries.

Very good. Now, I'd like...

A corporation that serves as a cover

For a variety of luthor's criminal operations.

Whoo hee-hee.

Involving smuggling, robbery, extortion, bribery.

Yeah, alright. That's enough.

Here. Let me do it.

[Sizzling]

Yeah!

(batcomputer) Security access, verified.

Whoosh

[zapping]

[Beeping]

- Hmm. - Huh.

How much time do we have before those pies go off?

Oh, like five minutes.

Boom

Maybe that was five seconds.

- Run. - Argh!

Maybe we should call for Superman.

Go ahead.

Hey, Superman!

See, you can't rely on anyone.

[Explosion]

[Instrumental music]

[Engine droning]

Boom

[intense music]

[Music continues]

Kaboom

[laughs]

Nice job.

Art is always better if it's bigger.

Hey, isn't that bruce wayne's mansion?

Bruce wayne? Really despise that guy.

[Intense music]

[Grunts]

Hey, guys, sorry it took me a second.

Boom

[intense music]

[Superman theme music]

[Whooshing]

[Fire crackling]

[Wind howling]

Hey, Batman, I think I fixed the whirly-bat.

[Rattling]

Crash

Uh.

I'm... Gonna go work on the batboat now.

Why didn't you tell me luthor was involved?

I was handling it.

Yeah, looks like you had it all under control.

Look, I'll hang around and give you a hand.

Remember, I can do anything.

Swoosh

You know what was in there?

- What? - Kryptonite.

Aha!

Boom

That's what they wanted the whole time.

It must be what powers that deconstructing device.

I picked up krypton on the batmobile scanner.

So, now they can neutralize your gadgets and my powers.

Question is why? What are they up to?

I don't know.

Tomorrow is election day, so we're running out of time.

We'll just have to go ask lex luthor.

You're just going to walk right into lexcorp headquarters?

Yep. You worried?

Superman does not worry.

(Robin) 'We can take this to get there. '

Introducing, the new, flying batboat.

[Rattling]

[Water gurgling]

- You need a hand? - No, I'm good.

[Intense music]

[Laughing]

[Music continues]

[Coughing]

[Laughing]

A- ah!

Ugh!

[Music continues]

Vice president Joker.

Doesn't quite sound right, does it, lex?

Not really. No.

Alright, sun will be up soon

And the voters will be heading out to vote. Let's shut it down.

(lex) 'Okay, did not need to turn off all the lights. '

[Wind howling]

Not the way I like to travel.

Come on, cheer up, sourpuss.

Not cool.

[Dramatic music]

Swoosh

- Oh, after you. - Argh.

[Keyboard keys clicking]

We're here to see lex luthor.

And you are?

Seriously?

Seriously.

I'm Superman. He's Batman.

Are those last names?

Even his receptionist is evil.

- Just one name each. - Like madonna.

Oh, I see, you're down here. Mr. Luthor is expecting you.

First elevator.

[Dramatic music]

[Superman theme music]

What's that song? Sounds familiar.

I don't listen to music.

Either of you guys know the score of the game?

I don't follow sports.

Seven-three, st. Louis. Ah.

Ah, shouldn't have asked.

[Elevator pings]

Nice costumes.

Hmm.

[Elevator pings]

[Intense music]

[Rattling]

Lex?

Right here.

[Grunts]

I'll take it from here.

[Clicks]

Hmm.

[Thud]

Woa-ah!

[Intense music]

(lex) 'You feel okay, Superman? '

I hope you voted before you got here.

'Because you might not be leaving. '

You diseased maniac.

No one is going to elect you president.

Oh, yes, they will.

Once we've flown over the country

Dispensing my friend, Joker's gas, I'll win in a landslide.

I was going to be vice president

But I changed my mind. It wasn't working for me.

Since I was deprived of the man of the year award

In gotham city, we're starting at their city hall.

Sorry, you won't be there.

'When I'm president, I'll build a statue of you. '

Oh!

You're not going to build him a statue.

No, I'm not. But you won't be there to call me on it.

Wait a second!

What are you going to do to the dynamic dumdum?

Joker, I have an election to win.

But who will I play with if he's dead?

Robin's still around.

If we eliminate Batman

Robin will probably put on the suit and say he's Batman.

No, it won't be the same.

Crash

Wow, did not expect that.

Let's go get out the vote.

(Joker) 'Alright. '

[Intense music]

[Clicks]

[Rumbling]

What the...

Boom

[glass shattering]

Crash

Joker, do you know how expensive that was?

I've no idea what it cost, no.

Swoosh

[intense music]

Crash

Nice plan.

Now, we know what they're up to.

Plop

[swishing]

- We have to get to gotham city. - I should warn you.

I fly close to that kryptonium...

We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Whoosh

Swoosh

[intense music]

[Birds cawing]

Thwack

Whoosh

[beeping]

I thought I took care of him.

If I had a dollar for every time I said that.

Keep flying.

I'll deal with this.

[Rumbling]

Woa-ah!

[Crackling]

[Zapping]

[Music continues]

[Beeping]

Ah! Lex, we're losing altitude.

[Beeping continues]

[Intense music]

[Both grunting]

[Whooshing]

Crash

- You alright? - Yeah.

Being that close to the kryptonite weakened me.

We bought ourselves a few minutes.

We've got to get to the centre of town.

I don't think I can fly yet.

I guess we can get there some other way.

[Engine revving]

[Baby crying]

[Music on boombox]

[Engine revving]

Splash

[dramatic music]

[Rattling]

Hiss

[screaming]

Two dollars or a token.

Uh...

[sighs]

I have tokens.

[Clinks]

[Whirring]

(lex) Fellow citizens, thank you for joining me today.

I don't want to keep you from voting for too long.

I just wanna say a few words.

[Hissing]

[Coughing]

(lex) 'What do you think of your presidential candidate? '

(all) We love him.

And you'll do anything he says?

- We'll do anything he says. - We want him as president.

[Crowd cheering]

Let's go vote for him.

That's good to hear.

Now, I have a lot of other campaign stops to make today.

So, just say it with me now. Vote for...

Joker.

- Joker for president. - We love Joker.

[Dramatic music]

[Laughing]

Oh, did I forget to mention? The gas just works for me.

Sorry. Oversight.

You, dirty double-crosser! You tricked me.

I said vice president didn't work for me.

President Joker. Now, that sounds right.

The vice part goes without saying

Now get in and I'll let you be vice president.

(lex) Don't be such an idiot!

[Engine revving]

They're going to take off.

I've got some of my strength back.

The kryptonite.

I'll slow them down, Batman.

It'll be up to you to stop them.

Bang

[intense music]

Thud

This time, lex

I'm going to pull Batman apart... Literally.

[Zapping]

[Grunting]

Woa-ah!

Swoosh

[laughing]

Huh?

[Tires screeching]

Crash

Robin... Great job.

What?

I... Think I'm going to cry.

Get goin'.

[Engine revving]

[Dramatic music]

Oh.

Take a left up here.

[Tires screeching]

[Music continues]

Take a hard right.

Now left.

[Tires screeching]

- We're not losing them. - I'm not trying to. Left again.

- Where have you been? - Getting some help.

Well, Batman, any last words?

Yeah. Look, you're on tv.

[Whirring]

Ah... Oh, it's beautiful.

It's also visible from space, you idiot.

[Beep]

Calling all justice leaguers.

'Calling all justice leaguers. '

[Whooshing]

'Calling all justice leaguers. '

'Calling all justice leaguers. '

[Zapping]

'Calling all justice leaguers. '

[Roaring]

Ugh.

What do you want to do?

Well, I do despise, bruce wayne.

[Intense music]

[Zapping]

[Bricks crunching]

Ah.

[Woman screaming]

- Thanks. - You don't let go yet.

Alright. I wasn't going to.

Uh.

Why is there a giant robot, climbing up wayne tower?

- A giant robot. Let's get it. - Follow me, I uh...

...Know my way around.

[Glass shattering]

[Glass shattering]

Come and get me. Ha, ha, ha.

[Thundering]

- Ah... - Uh.

Yeah... Ah, ah, ah. Aye, aye.

Let me shake you by the hand.

Jump!

[Intense music]

Ya...

[shouting]

'Ha, ha, ha. '

Oh, you're so strong.

Come on.

[Thud]

Go.

Phew.

- Thanks. - Huh?

[Laughing]

Ugh.

We have to stop them.

Ha, ha, ha.

[Police siren]

- Are you my mother? - Yes, give us a hug.

- Ha, ha, ha. - Ha, ha. That tickles.

Ugh!

I'm gonna need a little help here.

Get the power source. It's in his chest.

- Argh. - Ugh.

Wonder woman. Lead your plane.

[Clanking]

Uh?

Wow! Ha ha ha.

- Well, that was fun. - Ugh...

Ah.

There is a little good news.

At least, you're not going to be president.

- Great work, Batman. - I have to admit.

I couldn't have done it without a little help from my friends.

Uh, a little?

Well, bruce wayne said, when he was given

The, man of the year award...

...That "everybody needs help now and again. "

Well, he was a wise man.

What did you do with all the kryptonite?

I put it in a safe place.

We might need it one day if, Superman decides to go bad.

- See! I'm not the only one. - You know, I can hear you.

So bats, you need a little help rebuilding the bat cave?

- No, Robin and I... - yes, we'd like some help.

Say it with me.

Okay, we probably could use some.

Are, are you asking me?

Are you asking me to help you rebuild the bat cave?

Well, no. I was asking, green lantern.

I don't think this is your color.

[All laughing]

'Jovian. '

I have located it.

[Theme music]