Original subtitles

A second Tovenaar has risen?

If I had known it was you,

I would have left you in the ground!

There must be a way to return them to their graves

for good?

Put out the flame.

How shall we get to the immortal flame?

We would need someone who can bend time.

That's how we send all correspondence

to Uncle Arnolf.

So, how do we know that he got it?

We mustn't irritate him.

Got it.

He's a very particular man.

And a bit vindictive.

Oh, I know.

But he is the one chance of saving us now.

If he will.

Uncle Arno...

Ugh.

Chlodwig!

I come bearing doughnuts.

Oo.

I'll take one.

And this one is yours by rights, Sir Dwight.

It is?

You are after all a member in good standing

in the Order of Guy Club.

Chlodwig, this is important.

Most important.

The honor has fallen upon me

to host this month's Guy Club assembly.

What?

Assembly?

Oo.

Uh.

It's him.

Oh, uh.

I'm here for the thing.

Uh.

I've got Fudge Stripes.

Enter, brother.

Care for a doughnut?

Dronelover #99: Hey!

Chlodwig, this is actually a really bad time.

Got it.

Come on in.

Have a doughnut.

Ah, welcome!

You brought a pie!

It's a quiche.

Oh, what a fellow!

Prince Chlodwig,

take your doughnuts and your quiche pies hence.

What's amiss, fellows?

It's kinda the end of the world, buddy.

Get these poopnoddys out of here!

Poopnoddys?

Allow me.

Uh.

Am I late?

Exactly punctual, brother.

Do come in.

Hey.

Enough, Chlodwig!

The second Tovenaar has risen.

How?

Long story.

When?

Last night.

There is one chance of stopping them.

Have you got a knife?

And some milk.

Uh.

Oh.

Get off my step before I boil the oil!

Uncle Arnolf!

I- I-

She did not mean you!

I most certainly did not.

Do come in.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Would you like a doughnut?

Or a Fudge Stripe or a quiche?

Dronelover #99: Welcome to Guy Club.

We have orange pop too.

I have no need of you.

Oh.

But, where did they go?

On a journey through the cosmos.

And when are they coming back?

Who?

Chlodwig!

And the- the Guy Club guys.

You're bringing them back, right?

This is tiresome.

I'm leaving.

Baldric and Gretta: No, no, no, no, no.

We thank you for coming Uncle Arnolf.

Indeed.

Your letter smelled of...

hysteria.

The situation is most dire.

Says you.

Uncle Arnolf,

the Tovenaar that was once buried

in this dark realm has risen.

It was only a matter of time.

Okay, so about a thousand years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta.

And she was in big trouble

because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of friends.

So, her court magician, Baldric cast the Champion Spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come,

break the spell with his kiss

and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead...

they got me.

Ah!

Ow!

Sir Aldred: This is where Osric hid one bone

from each Tovenaar?

So said the raven.

Within that crypt.

I've been here.

I've looked in that crypt.

I would know if it was packed full of Tovenaar bones.

The raven was most emphatic.

If I open that crypt and find it empty,

I'll stuff that bird with all his bird friends

and roast them on a spit.

Careful, brother.

You don't want to make an enemy of the birds.

Well, that's a surprise.

Could there be another crypt in here?

Sir Aldred: Sporg, I'm gonna kill you now

and put you back in your boxes.

Or maybe...

Hello.

What's this?

So, I have to come back to the Guy Club guys.

We can't just leave them in the cosmos.

This makes everything worth it.

Ah.

Uncle Arnolf,

the Tovenaars mean to bring back their brotherhood.

We must act quickly.

Their strength grows by the hour.

Only if they have found the reliquary.

The reliquary?

Where Osric the Grim hid one bone

from each Tovenaar slain.

He did what?

Osric wanted to ensure

that no Tovenaar skeleton could ever be complete.

So no Tovenaar could ever rise again.

He built a reliquary in a secret location,

and guarded it with a deadly spell.

Who's that do you suppose?

Not one of us.

Osric thought he was so clever.

Put all your eggs in one basket,

then guard that basket.

Wait, if there's one bone from each Tovenaar

all together in one hiding place...

If someone were to find that hiding place...

They could use the bones to find all the rest.

Aldred!

I found something.

So did I.

We did it!

Sir Aldred: We did it.

We did it.

They're all here.

All our brothers.

Every one.

The dark times return!

Yes!

Yes!

Just a-- Wait just a minute.

I'm confused.

If one bone from each Tovenaar is here...

Well then how did Sir Aldred find the bones

for the dude he just brought back?

That's a question for a thief.

And I know just the one.

Ya, cha, cha, chi.

Ya, cha, chi.

Oh.

Wenzo Thief.

Mm, mm, it's Wenzo Pretzelmaker now.

Hm, nice!

Look at you!

I'm proud of you, man.

Thank you.

Bob says, if I play my cards right,

I may one day be Wenzo Franchiseowner.

Would anyone like a pretzel?

We have sea salt, cinnamon sugar.

Oh.

Now is not the time for pretzels.

Cinnamon sugar.

Perhaps a cinnamon, why not?

The Tovenaar bone

that you stole from Her Highnesses castle,

what do you know about it?

No, sorry.

I swore to my father I would never repeat that tale.

Although he is dead,

I suppose I could repeat the tale.

Gather round.

It happened one night long ago, when my father,

Bozos Thief was but a lad.

He and his brother, Fonzo--

Fonzo?

Yes, Fonzo.

They entered your castle bent on burglary.

They came quite by accident to the secret chamber

and found within the stone crypt.

Thinking it to be filled with treasure

they pried it open, but found nothing inside,

except a simple brass ring.

Fonzo grabbed the ring and found

that it opened a hidden door with a staircase leading down.

My father stood watch

while Fonzo descended the stairs

and found thousands of Tovenaar relics.

Thousands?

Yes.

Now Fonzo knew the value of such a find,

so he began to fill his bags

with all the relics he could carry,

but when he crossed the threshold of the crypt,

the spell that guarded those relics took its revenge.

Sir Aldred: Ow.

What a nuisance.

Ah floof.

I hate this part.

The relics fell back whence they had come.

And Uncle Fonzo with them, just as the entry closed fast.

But one little relic, tumbled from Fonzo's hands,

rattled in the crypt and as fate willed it

was not sealed up with the others.

My father fled for his life

and never spoke of what he had seen.

Well, I should say that he never spoke of what he saw that night

until we were flat broke in the poor house,

and then he spoke of what he saw that night.

We figured if we could sell the relic,

for a pretty penny if we found the right buyer.

Sir Aldred.

Then, Sir Aldred knows about the reliquary.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, we kept that part of the story to ourselves.

Oh.

Why?

Well, we had no desire to meet Uncle Fonzo's fate,

or Uncle Fonzo's remains.

Eugh.

So the relic

that bounced around the crypt and got stuck...

Was the one that you stole.

And I gave back to you, as you recall.

That I gave to Hexela.

That Sir Aldred stole from Hexela last night.

Most unfortunately.

And used to make the dead skeleton guy not dead.

Huzzah.

Mystery solved.

I'm off in like 20 if you guys wanted to hang out.

So, maybe it's not as bad as we thought.

Huh?

Sounds like anybody that tries to take a bone

from Osric's basement ends up dead.

But Tovenaars don't stay dead.

That wasn't too bad.

Though still not my favorite sensation.

Remember the first time you died, Aldred?

You dropped me off a cliff.

Slip of the hands.

Sir Aldred: And not a week later you crushed me with an ox.

Dreadful way to die.

Sir Aldred: When I think

of how many times you've killed me...

Never by design.

Whatever faults I have, my heart is pure.

Now let's go take over the world.

Well, if that's all you needed,

I'm off.

But wait, Uncle Arnolf, please.

What about Chlodwig?

Who?

Dude, really?

We spoke to a wyvern

who said that if we put out the immortal flame

the Tovenaars will be dead for good.

It's not as easy as you think

to put out the immortal flame.

All who have tried have failed.

We will not yield without a fight.

Though we may be doomed for failure, we must try.

I suppose, why not?

But the immortal flame is in a cave in the Pyrenees.

And time is running out.

Ta-ta-ta, Time doesn't run

so much as spin in joyful circles

while drifting down a lazy, winding, bending stream.

'Kay.

Can you get us to the immortal flame?

Yes.

But you will need permission.

Permission?

From whom?

You would embark on a quest

to change the trajectory of events and alter the future.

Eh, yeah.

Yeah.

You need permission.

From fate.

There is no Guy Club assembly today.

If another Guy Club poopnoddy darkens this door.

Oh.

Hexie.

I'm ready for Madagascar.

That may not be necessary.

Enter, enter.

Come.

Oh.

Oh, sweet heaven, he came.

Wait, fate's a person?

Who told you that?

You said we had to get permission from fate.

Why would you assume--

How do we get permission from fate?

First, you must find her.

Fate's a woman.

She is neither a person, nor a woman.

This is fate.

No, don't.

A bellybutton owl?

She has crossed your path before,

has she not, young champion?

Yeah, on the day that--

that was why I was in the woods.

Where do we find her?

In the last place you saw her.

There's a conversation

we should have sooner rather than later.

Is there anyone in the brotherhood

we just as soon stayed in the ground,

if you know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean.

Now's our chance to trim the dead wood.

There's one name that comes to mind.

Probably the same I'm thinking of.

Sir Aldred: Probably not.

Oh, my bladder's leaking.

Oh, geez.

Hey, don't feel bad,

accidents happen to everyone at every age.

Ugh.

Wait, what bladder are we talking about?

Have you any water?

Yeah, yeah, sure thing.

I hope you don't mind distilled water.

Nana's got me on this colon rinse.

From a spring in Tibet.

Hm.

So there's no fluorine compounds

or hormones in it...

Mm.

It was right around here.

It feels like yesterday but like a lifetime ago.

I saw the bellybutton owl,

I went to take a picture.

Ah!

You know the rest.

Um.

We should put up some caution tape.

You hear that?

What?

Not a sound.

I am Princess Gretta the Besieged,

Eleventh Great Granddaughter of Osric the Grim

and the last heir to the House of Moondragon.

I'm Dwight.

If you truly are fate, then you know what we want,

and what's at stake.

We must stop the Tovenaars lest the world be plunged

into neverending night.

And the way to do that is well--

you probably already know,

but we have to put out this immortal flame.

In the Pyrenees Mountains.

Uncle Arnolf is handling logistics.

We ask for a token of your permission.

Eww.

Sir Aldred: What is it?

Quite the hullabaloo.

Fate favors the princess and her champion.

Could that be the same princess?

What else?!

The passage will open.

They go to quench the flame.

Mm.

A well-executed quiche Lorraine.

I should like to complement the chef.

You sent him on a journey through the cosmos.

Oh.

Then, never mind.

Did you find fate?

I think so.

Did she give you permission?

Oh, she gave us something.

An owl pellet.

Incredible.

That means that, that you, that means that now

I didn't think I would live to see this day.

Give it to me.

Now, assemble your forces!

Our forces?

This is what we got.

Just you?

You four?

Uh.

I will offer you an ally.

Only one.

Only temporarily.

Any person living or dead

from any stretch of the universe.

Only speak the name,

and they shall appear.

Uh.

Well, who shall it be?

Uh.

Anyone, from anywhere?

We should choose a warrior, perhaps--

Don't speak it!

We only get one chance.

We need a wizard.

Yes.

The most powerful wizard of all time was--

Sh.

Sh. Sh.

Who shall it be?

The warrior or the wizard?

I vote for the wizard.

And I!

Hm.

Then speak his name, and summon him.

We call as our ally--

Chlodwig.

Baldric, Hexela and Gretta: What!?

The name is spoken.

Oh. Ugh.

Doughnut, anyone?

I just ate half a quiche.

I'm good, man.

Thanks.

But welcome back.

Take your time, buddy.

I have seen things.

Oooo.

Orange soda.

We could have had Otto the Omnipotent!

It is fulfilled.

At long last, the hour has come.