Original subtitles

Someone is unearthing the Tovenaar's bones.

Do you know anything about a big hole

in somebody's lawn out on Oak Street?

Or any of the other holes

that have appeared here recently?

Get inside.

I don't know what I do at night.

From sundown to sunrise,

i- it's a blank.

I found something this morning in my pocket.

Any idea where this came from?

Mr. Dale: From there.

He has the bones, Baldric.

How many?

All but one.

Mr. Dale: Wake up.

Wake up!

Yow!

Gretta, you okay?

What happened?

Looks like the bad guys got us.

Mr. Dale:

I heard them talking.

I don't know why, but they're assembling a skeleton.

You're certain?

Mr. Dale: They said they had 205 bones.

That's what you were adding up on the napkin.

Mr. Dale: And only one left to find.

Thank goodness!

Why are we thanking goodness?

They don't know where the last bone is.

Mr. Dale: Interesting.

Are you saying you do know where it is?

That's the Tovenaar relic Wenzo Thief stole

and hid in our flagon.

The little box thing.

That's what Sir Aldred was looking for

that day in my castle.

And then we ended up doing the Hopak

for like an hour.

Mr. Dale: Go back to where you said it was in your flagon.

Is it still there?

No, I gave it to Hexela.

Hexela?

For safe keeping.

Ah.

Music to my ears.

Well-played, brother.

Whaaat?!

Okay, so, about a thousand years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta,

and she was in big trouble,

because she had lots of enemies and not a lot of friends.

So, her court magician, Baldric, cast the Champion Spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come,

break the spell with his kiss,

and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead--

Aaaahhh!

They got me.

Aahh!

Ow!

No!

Mr. Dale, what are you doing?

Mr. Dale:

Ewww.

Sir Aldred: Allow me to present Hildenfff-- fff--

frufrick.

Ah, yes.

Hildenfrufrick, my Tovenaar brother.

Oh, of course.

Hildenfrufrick.

Mr. Dale: That's my name.

Really? You're all buying that?

This Tovenaar has possessed Mr. Dale's body.

This... Hildenfrufrick.

I'm sorry, that's a totally made-up name.

Mr. Dale: Now can we eat their brains and innards?

Sir Aldred: Why not?

This calls for a celebration!

How may I serve you, Magnifico?

Two tankards of your best.

Mr. Dale: And a cleaver.

With the greatest of haste.

Mr. Dale: So, who is this Hexela?

Remember?

The witch.

The one I told you about.

The sock.

Oh. Her?

Yeah.

Really?

Ooh!

Ah, our libation.

Sir Aldred: Ah.

Your Shasta, Eccellenza,

with a meat-a cleaver on the side.

Mr. Dale: A toast.

Sir Aldred: Ah.

Mr. Dale: To...

Sir Aldred, without whose help,

I would forever be a pile of dismembered bones.

And to you, Helgefriffred...

the first of my fallen brothers to rise from the ground.

First of many.

Sir Aldred: Hear, hear!

Do these two snotty-nosed children

disturb you?

Allow me to dispose of them for you.

It will take me but a moment

and give me mountains of joy.

Mr. Dale: Well, everything but the brains and innards.

Oh, and bring me a skillet.

Sir Aldred: We've no time for brains and innards,

Hilbenfluffnick.

You keep watch.

I'm off.

Mr. Dale: To find the witch?

Yes, indeed.

And I give you my word,

I shall return with your proximal phalanx.

Neither the princess nor Sir Dwight answer

when I beckon.

We can't wait, Baldric.

Hexela, we go now to fight a Tovenaar.

I cannot charge into certain death

without taking proper leave of the princess.

Oh, Baldric.

You really are a—

Sir Aldred: Ah.

There you are, my darling.

Now--

Hexie!

Sir Aldred: Do you know this one?

I do.

I don't.

Uh, it's a Magnet Maker.

Sir Aldred: Right you are.

You were drawn to the floor like a lump of iron to a magnet.

Sir Aldred: Always delightful.

Sir Aldred: Ah.

Just like old times.

No.

Oh!

Stop right there, you cad!

Oh!

This is a gross invasion of my privacy!

Now to find the key.

Halt! Thief!

Wait!

Can't we talk, my love?

What--

Huh?

I miss us.

I miss the way we were.

Huh?

Another time, dearest.

Huh?

Sir Aldred: When we're not quite so rushed.

Oohh.

Boop.

Boop.

Yay!

Yay!

Bellisima!

Principessa.

Champion Boy.

This is a very bad place for you.

Yeah, we know.

Cut us loose.

I-- I--

Pineapple Shasta, my good man.

Certamente.

Signore.

I will return in...

one minute's time.

Maybe two minutes.

Shall we say 90 seconds at the maximum?

Splendid.

Si.

Grazie.

I go.

Mr. Dale: Ha-ha.

We're saved.

Only if I can cut through this in 90 seconds!

Yay!

Gretta and Dwight: One, two, three.

Ready, everybody,

for more of the bubbly Shasta?

We'll just be going now.

Right now.

We go!

Hold it!

Sir Aldred: Huzzah!

Porca miseria.

Not now.

Sit!

The day is ours, brother!

You got it.

Sir Aldred: Would you do the honors?

It's so little!

Sir Aldred: This is the moment we've been waiting for

for centuries.

I feel I should make a speech.

Sir Aldred: Put the bone in the toe, Hibbenfruffel.

Mr. Dale: Right away.

At long last.

Heaven preserve us.

We run away now, si?

Dwight and Gretta:

Go, go.

The demon lives!

Scatter to the winds!

Hide in the caves!

Save the children!

Stop!

What do we do?

Run for our lives.

What?!

No.

Really?

That's all you've got?

We need some kind of plan!

Are you calling the police?

I am getting as far away from here as I can.

Bravo, signore.

I go in search of a deep cavern to hide myself

while the world ends in flames.

Addio!

Mr. Dale: I'm thinking Madagascar.

Oh! Here's my Uber.

To Madagascar?

Mr. Dale: Airport!

Come, Sir Dwight.

No! Baldric!

Baldric!

Princess!

Are you hurt?

We're stuck.

To the floor.

Stuck with like, glue?

With a Magnet Maker spell.

May the spell be broken?

Yes.

Quickly, Sir Aldred has taken the last Tovenaar Relic.

We must stop him before he--

Too late.

No.

Skeleton guy's back.

Oh.

But at least Mr. Dale's not possessed anymore.

Huh?

Where is he?

On a flight to Madagascar.

The Tovenaar.

He's with Sir Aldred at the Swine and Slosh Tavern.

Quickly!

The gloves!

On the floor.

Aahh!

Don't touch them!

Are you mad?!

My teapot, on the table.

Yes.

Um...

Pour the tea on the gloves.

Oh.

Uh...

Oh!

You drink that stuff?

A second Tovenaar has risen.

Are you certain?

We watched it with our own eyes.

Baldric and Hexela:

Maybe we're making a way bigger deal than it is.

There was one Tovenaar, now there's two.

Is that really the end of the world?

Gretta, Hexela, and Baldric: Yes.

'Kay.

They won't stop at two.

They intend to bring all the Tovenaars back.

Baldric, what shall we do?

Run.

Wait!

Hey, hey, hey, what do you mean, run?

Run where?

Why not Madagascar?

We already know somebody there!

Yes!

Gretta!

Somebody has to stop these guys.

If not us, then who's going to do it?

You...

want to fight a brotherhood of Tovenaars?

There's two guys.

Technically a brotherhood.

Look, I don't wanna fight anybody.

But we can't just run and--

and let the dark times return.

What is your plan, Sir Dwight?

Okay, um...

So, I--

I know Tovenaars are hard to kill.

Impossible.

They die, they come back,

they die, they come back.

'Tis a problem.

But there has to be a way to make them dead-dead.

Uh-- Wh--

None that I know of.

To Madagascar.

But that is not to say

that someone else may not know the answer.

Who?

An ancient creature, with ancient knowledge.

There is much to do.

We leave at first light.

Sporg?

Sporg!

Now, before you do anything rash--

Ah.

Sir Aldred: Of all the Tovenaars in all the world —

You broke my new nose!

It had to be you!

You might at least pretend to be happy to see me.

Sir Aldred:

We're part of the same brotherhood.

If I'd have known it was you,

I would have left you in the ground.

I thought you might feel that way.

Sir Aldred: Hilgenfreffrick.

I had to make something up.

Sir Aldred: It's all your fault.

That's not fair.

If I had been at our last battle,

the Tovenaars might have won!

We might still be ruling the world!

Who's to say, really?

Sir Aldred: But I wasn't there, was I, Sporg?

I couldn't make it, could I?

Now brother, that was ages ago.

You pushed me in a sticky bog.

Not on purpose!

Every man in our brotherhood fell that day,

and I was stuck in a sticky bog!

Well...

yes, they're pridefully sticky.

Sir Aldred:

I can't do this anymore.

Now, now.

You're just exhausted.

Fifteen centuries I toiled night and day

to bring back my fallen brothers.

And look!

I'm here!

Sir Aldred: It's not worth it.

The chance at unrivaled power is not worth it?

No.

All the brains and innards you can eat

is not worth it?

You're just in this for the brains and innards,

aren't you?

I enjoy the spoils of world dominion, yes.

Sir Aldred:

Together, brother,

we can bring back the dark times.

I'd rather be a pig farmer.

A dung merchant.

A rat catcher.

Come now.

We can still rule the world in tyranny!

Sir Aldred:

You know you want to!

Here.

I printed out the words for everyone.

Hm.

There we go.

Uuargghhwaaappppfffttt.

A little more gghh on the uuargghh.

Hexcellent.

Um, what does this mean?

Oh, it loosely translates to...

“Help!

"For the sake of the children!

"For the love of humanity!

Save us!”

'Kay.

Together on three.

Wait, no, I--

One, two, three.

Wait, uh--

Uuargghhwaaappppfffttt!

Mwagghhwagghwa!

Pthhh!

Gheeegh!

Sh.

Winnie!

The evil that was buried here now walks the earth.

Will you flee, or will you fight?

Both options suck.

Yes.

It doesn't do anybody any good to pick a fight

with dudes who can't die.

There must be a way to return them

to their graves for good.

You mean, to make them dead-dead?

Yeah.

There is one way.

Others have tried.

All have failed.

But they were not you.

Me?

Every man in the Tovenaar brotherhood

is marked with a brand burning in an immortal flame.

The mark of this flame is what keeps him alive.

Oh, do you want me to--

Oh.

Put out the flame.

Just psstt.

That - that's it?

Uh-huh, psstt.

You just--

Where is the immortal flame?

It burns in a cave.

High in the--

Pyrenees.

Wait, wait, wait, the Pyrenees Mountains?

In Spain?

How shall we get to the Pyrenees?

Hm.

We'll need a team of stout horses

and a wagon for supplies.

We will sell those for a ship once we reach the sea.

There's no time for such a journey.

Uh...

Surely, you must have a spell that can get us there.

Even with my scepter, I don't think I could, Highness.

What of you?

I mean, I do have my talents, to be sure, but this is...

We would need someone who can bend time and space.

I think I know a guy.

Hm. You know,

I think this last resurrection took a few pounds off.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Sir Aldred: I could have been a haberdasher.

My parents were haberdashers.

They were happy people.

You've just had a nasty shock.

Sporg, this will never work.

I’m an immensely powerful wizard

and you’re a dim-witted dingleberry.

Can a dim-witted dingleberry do this?

I'm leaving.

What are you doing?

Uh, just chit-chat for the moment.

Breaking the ice.

You talk to ravens.

Not just to ravens, brother.

To any winged, feathered fowl.

Birds are a remarkable source of information.

They see practically everything and spread the word

with astonishing speed.

You ever wondered what birds are so busy chirping about

all the time?

No.

And they keep

a remarkably-detailed oral history.

Good to know.

And now I bid you a final definitive goodbye.

Just ask it.

Ask it anything.

Where are the bones of the other Tovenaars?

Uh, in secret places all over the world.

Hm.

Knew that.

But, Osric the Grim wanted to make sure

that no Tovenaar skeleton could ever be rebuilt,

so he kept one bone from each Tovenaar

and hid them all in a secret and secure place.

Go on.

My most revered Uncle Arnolf,

I seek an audience with your impressiveness

to discuss a matter of immense and urgent importance

to all humanity, both born and unborn.

That outta get his attention.

Most gratefully,

and with the utmost esteem and awareness

of my total insignificance in the grand cosmic scheme,

Princess Gretta the Besieged.

Good.

Now seal it.

Great.

So, do we mail it to him, or...

Ahh!

Let's hope that works.

What did you do?!

That's how we send all correspondence

to Uncle Arnolf.

'Kay, so, how do we know that he got it?