Original subtitles

So here's pretty much everything

you need to know...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

You are Macklyn the Fox.

Oh!

I was not always Macklyn the Fox.

But who I was before, that is a mystery.

I awoke in the woods one morning, many years ago.

With no recollection of my life.

No clue to my origin,

save this.

Macklyn! You're a shifter.

This place brings back memories.

I see Chlodwig left the wedding decorations up.

Ugh.

I'd say about 50 feet of rope.

Do you think the dragon

is still down there?

Listen.

This idea seemed a lot smarter

back at the house.

He's right, Highness.

It's too dangerous.

We've come all this way.

We shall not leave empty handed.

Then I will go alone.

By no means.

I will not put you in peril for my sake.

For all our sakes, Baldric.

You really think dragon fire could repair your scepter?

I believe it might.

Then fortune smiles upon us,

for merely 50 feet beneath where we stand is a dragon,

furiously spewing fire at this very moment.

Lucky us.

I'm going with you.

Thank you, Highness.

You stay here, Sir Dwight.

You have neither the skills nor the fortitude

to face a dragon.

One hundred percent agree.

Hm.

Shh, quiet, stop!

What was that?

A reminder, Highness.

It's Taco Tuesday.

Okay, so about 1000 years ago,

there was this princess, Gretta.

And she was in big trouble,

'cause she had lots of enemies

and not a lot of friends.

So her court magician Baldric cast the champion spell.

It put everyone in the woods to sleep

until a champion would come,

break the spell with his kiss,

and deal with Gretta's big, scary enemies.

But that guy never showed up.

Instead,

they got me.

Ah!

Ow!

Princess Gretta!

I'm here.

Gretta?

Who goes there?

Is it you?

Friend or foe?

Just like your mum.

Auntie Ermie?

Lady Ermingarde.

What are you doing down here?

We must hurry, Your Ladyship.

A dragon prowls these depths.

Well, about that.

So, well you probably didn't know this about me.

There's no reason you should.

In fact, it's a deeply guarded secret

only my dearly departed husband knew.

Your husband died?

No, no, just departed.

What I mean to say is, uh, well...

You see, that dragon.

The thing about that dragon is...

As it happens, that dragon is, um...

eh, oh...

You.

You are a shifter.

Cool.

Oh!

Hey!

I got you, I got you.

How'd it go?

Hey.

Did you get your fire?

Whoa, hey, who...

Who are you?

Lady Ermingarde, I present to you

Sir Dwight of Woodside.

Hi.

Lady Ermingarde.

My godmother.

Oh.

Wow.

You guys just ran into each other down there?

Auntie Ermie is the dragon.

Sorry?

She's a dragon shifter.

One who can take human and dragon form.

Oh.

Cool.

Exactly what I said.

Was it you that brought this rope?

Mm-hmm.

Oh.

How many times I wished for a length of rope

these last months!

How long have you been down there?

Lady Ermingarde: When I heard about your siege,

I came right away, and I immediately discovered

a legion of orcs undermining your castle walls.

We suspected as much.

Lady Ermingarde: Well, I took care of them

without much trouble, of course.

But I found myself trapped in their maze of tunnels.

You got stuck?

Don't tell anyone.

Your...

Your castle is in a shambles, Piglet.

A lot has happened

since you got stuck in the pits.

Piglet.

Uh...

It is a mere silly nickname from when I was just a tot.

And you sounded just like a little piggy

when you slept.

That's wonderful.

Never mind.

Remember, Baldric?

Oh, indeed, indeed.

Lady Ermingarde: Just like a wee porker.

Oh.

Onto more pressing issues.

So everyone called her Piglet.

No one called me that.

Lady Ermingarde: I did!

Only you.

Lady Ermingarde: What was I saying?

Oh, yes.

Your castle.

This wouldn't fortify you

against an invasion of bunnies.

Well, what happened was--

You can't stay here.

But...

Auntie Ermie.

Where is your army?

They fled during the siege.

And your allies?

Uh...

They have yet to arrive.

Piglet, go get your things!

My-my things?

I know of an island.

Remote.

Forgotten.

Uninhabited.

With a sturdy tower where you can while away your days

as I patrol the beaches.

You will be absolutely safe.

But I am safe enough here.

Safe enough?

You are a princess, which means your life

will always be under constant threat.

And you have no one to protect you.

Yes, I have.

I have Baldric.

Magic tricks will not be enough.

No, no.

You need a warrior.

I have Sir Dwight.

My champion.

This squirmy little whelp?

And here we go.

No, no.

Don't be fooled.

He has already defeated a knight,

a troubadour.

A mob.

What?

A varger, and a bandit.

A wyvern and a witch.

And a frolic of fairies.

Also, he can ride a bike.

No easy feat.

Is this true?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, pretty much.

The bike part, absolutely.

Hmm.

Please, Auntie Ermie.

Just...

Give Sir Dwight the chance to prove himself.

All right.

But after dinner.

I'm starving.

I've been living on orc carcasses for months.

Ew.

Baldric, show Lady Ermingarde

to the Great Hall,

and let the feasting begin.

Immediately, Your Highness.

Your Ladyship.

Auntie, Sir Dwight and I

will join you presently.

Lady Ermingarde: Very well.

She's nice.

This way.

Hurry!

Try this on.

I'll help you stand up.

Why?

Arm up.

If only we had more time.

For what?

For you to gain 50 pounds of muscle.

Become a master swordsman.

Oh, maybe grow a beard.

Can you try to be a little taller?

Gretta, you're freaking out.

Can you just try to be a proper champion

just for one day?

She's gonna put me in a tower,

Dwight, on a desert island.

I get it, I-I get it.

Just me and my dragon godmother

for the rest of my days.

Okay!

Okay, okay, okay.

Deep breath, deep breath!

We are not gonna let that happen.

We are going to stay calm.

We are going to remember our breathing,

and no matter what happens,

we are not going to lose our composure.

Lower your weapons, yeomen.

Macklyn the Fox.

Princess Gretta.

Sir Dwight!

Well met.

What are you doing here?

Oh, just a few basic repairs for now.

Place needs a great deal of work.

But, hey, free castle.

You live here?

Only when we're not robbing poor souls

in the woods.

How goes it with you?

About, you know, like, normal.

Hey, I got a question for you,

why are you wearing a T-ball tournament medal?

Oh, nice, isn't it?

Just a little trifle I pickpocketed from a pook.

Another question.

What's a pook?

Uh, a kind of forest spirit.

Okay.

Sensitive creature.

Aw.

In the shape

of a monstrously large animal.

Now, when you say monstrously large...

Can we just forget the pook?

You'll know one when you see one.

What's amiss, Princess?

My life is on the brink of ruin.

Ruin, you say?

Sounds like a gripping tale!

Begin at the beginning.

Uh, no time for that.

Oh.

Well, the short version is

that Gretta's godmother

wants to take her to some desert island

in the middle of nowhere

and stick her in a tower.

Terrible.

What of your royal treasury?

Dude.

By which I mean to say, how may I give you aid?

Hand me that thigh plate.

And convince Auntie Ermie

that Sir Dwight is indeed a mighty champion

with the skills to defend me from my hordes of enemies.

Done.

Oh.

Baldric.

These are delicious!

Thank you.

Lady Ermingarde: Oh.

Well.

Well.

Oh.

I'm afraid you missed the Spam course

and the cheesy puffs course.

But, you are just in time for the main dish.

Baldric?

Oh, yes.

There you go.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Mmm.

Piglet, come on.

Princess.

Oh.

Delicious.

Sir Dwight.

Cookies for dinner?

Mm-mm.

We are about to come under attack.

Don't fear.

Sir Dwight will handle it.

Lady Ermingarde: Mm!

Mmm.

Yep.

Your cooks have absolutely outdone themselves.

Every bite is a savory journey towards--

Diabesity.

What's diabe--

Exactly what it sounds like.

Sounds delicious.

Mm-hmm!

What are these?

Ah!

Sir Dwight, my champion!

Save us!

We've come for the princess.

Oh!

You are gonna have to go through me!

Knave!

Yah!

I'm sorry!

Attack!

Is he not...

truly amazing?

They are in trouble now.

Whatever shall we do?

Oh!

He saves the day again.

Who are you?

Sir Dwight of Woodside!

You are he?

The fabled hero?

Sir Dwight the Mighty?

Oh, yes.

You see that princess over--

Sorry, sorry.

You see that princess over there?

Nobody's messing with that princess!

So you best go tell all your little friends.

Spread the word!

I shall proclaim it to the world

how by your sword,

you did lay my men lifeless on the blood-soaked ground.

Shiny!

And that's a pook.

You're right!

I knew it when I saw it.

What does it want?

The princess.

Oh, good guess, but nope.

Then what?

Shiny.

My medallion?

Actually, the pook's medallion.

Actually, some T-ball kid's medallion.

Sir Dwight would obviously vanquish this beast

if it weren't that he is...

Isn't really a knight?

Just give it back!

But it's priceless beyond measure!

It's a Little League participation medal.

I got like, like seven.

You can have all of them.

Didn't your mother teach you

not to meddle with pooks?

Leave my mother out of this, madame.

Shiny!

Look, the frog wants its shiny.

Just get in there and make this right, man.

I can't go out there,

that pook hates my guts.

Shiny!

Fine, fine.

I'll mediate.

Dwight, no!

Dwight?

Excuse me?

Dwight, no!

Excuse me!

Hi, Mr. Pook.

I think this is yours.

Or, I guess I should say I think Timmy Evans

would want you to have it?

Shiny!

Yeah, it sure is.

And it's all yours.

Look, he-- he's not so good at apologies.

It's really hard for a lot of us

to say that we're sorry,

but the feelings are there.

Right, Macklyn?

Get out of there

before he snaps your head off.

Is that a real possibility?

Shiny.

In all my days!

I have never heard

of a pook behaving so civilly.

You said they were sensitive creatures?

I should have said "easily infuriated."

They'll kill you for standing up too straight.

Or blinking at the wrong time.

Smelling of garlic.

Or parting your hair on the wrong side.

You guys just let me w-waltz out there?

What valor, Sir Dwight.

My hat is off to you!

Henrik?

Oh.

Very funny!

Madame, you mistake me.

You never know when you've taken a joke too far,

you tedious oaf!

Oh.

I...

Oh!

Odious, wretched, infuriating man!

I don't understand

the words coming from your mouth.

Do you know me?

Henrik, stop.

Auntie Ermie, this is Macklyn the Fox,

leader of the bandits.

Bah!

This-this-this is Lord Henrik,

your godfather and my husband.

Uh...

Everyone said that you had abandoned me,

but I knew what you were about,

you silly thing!

He-he always loved to surprise me.

That's sweet.

He would wait until I least expected it,

and then he'd pop out and startle me half to death.

Sounds like him.

Until Henrik popping out with a boo

became part of the routine of life.

I stopped being startled half to death

and the fun went out of it for him.

The last time I saw him,

he was departing for the west country.

He wouldn't tell me when he'd return.

He only said, "I'll catch you by surprise."

That was 16 years ago.

But you were surprised.

Lady Ermingarde: You missed everything!

Do you know how many times

I'd see a pail or a pot or a hat box

and think you were inside, about to pop out?

Time.

Timeout.

Sorry.

We were with you up until the pail and the pot

and the hat box part, right, guys?

I mean, the story was weird,

but it was tracking until that part.

Well, there's something that you should know

about your Uncle Henrik.

What?

Tell them.

Oh, for the love of...

Auntie, he can't.

He doesn't remember.

I awoke in the woods one morning,

many years ago,

with no recollection of my life.

No clue to my origin.

Save this.

Huh.

Uncle Henrik.

You're a shifter.

I know.

But I have forgotten how.

I know someone who can help you reclaim your memory.

Who?

A mage.

Wise, powerful.

But unfortunately, expensive.

How soon can you leave?

Immediately.

Let's away.

Oh!

Gretta.

I didn't forget you, Piglet.

I just got carried away.

It's all right, Auntie Ermie.

I understand.

You could come with us,

and when Uncle Henrik gets his memory back,

we could all go to the desert island.

Pardon, my love?

I believe I shall be quite safe here.

I have Baldric.

A stout-hearted magician.

And Sir Dwight.

A mighty champion.

In his own way.

She'll be fine.

Brigands flying this way and that way.

You could barely raise your sword.

I could barely stand!

And the pook!

Oh-- Shiny!

Highness!

We forgot the dragon fire!

Captioned byBYUtv.